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marvel-sluts · 3 years

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US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

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marvel-sluts · 3 years

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Request: 5 and 6 draco malfoy🥺 - @wisefiresharkduck (sorry it won't let me tag you)

5 - Finds you self harming

6 - Finds you trying to commit suicide

Prompt list

Please don't give up

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Warnings: Talk of self harm, talk of suicide, attempted suicide, swearing, angst ⚠️don't read this if it will trigger you⚠️

Summary: You and Draco never got on until he found out about your self harming, after that he made you promise to go to him if anything happens.

A/N: This is purely on my experiences of depression and self harm, I can't speak for everyone who goes through this kinda thing. If anyone ever needs to talk I'm always here. Hope you enjoy <3.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

"What are you doing up so late?" A voice came from the other end of the common room as you crept through the door.

"Why do you care?" You asked spitefully, recognising the voice as soon as you heard it.

"I don't, just didn't think you would be the type to sneak out at night." Draco said as you turned around to see him curled up on the sofa with a book in his hand.

"You don't know anything about me, so stop pretending that you do." You snapped back, fiddling with the end of your sleeve as you felt the blood seep through the bandages. You had cut slightly deeper than you had meant to. You had been in the prefects bathroom, since it was guaranteed to be empty. Today had been a bad day and unfortunately you had slipped back into bad habits.

"What's that?" Draco asked, worry evident in his tone.

"What's what?" You asked feebly, feeling the blood drip down your arm.

"On your arm, is it blood?" Draco asked, pointing at the dripping red liquid coming from your sleeve.

"It's paint, I was painting." You lied badly, starting to walk towards your dorm before Draco stood in your way.

"What is it really?" He asked, not believing you for a second. "Is it blood?" He repeated.

"No." You said, feigning confidence.

"Show me then." Draco said stubbornly, still not believing you.

"No." You said simply.

"Why not?" Draco asked, pushing you to show him.

"Because it's none of your business, now get out of my way." You said, finally succeeding to push past him. As you were walking away Draco grabbed your arm, turning it over and pushing up the sleeve in the same motion. A small gasp left his lips as he saw the deep red lines and scars running all the way up your arm.

"How long?" He asked quietly.

"It's none of your business Draco, let me go." You said coldly, trying to get away from his surprisingly gentle grip on your arm.

"How long?" He demanded, slightly louder.

"Two years I think, why do you care?" You asked, finally able to get your arm free from his grip.

"Because despite what you may think about me I'm not a cold heartless monster and I actually care about people. Why?" Draco fumed, shocking you slightly at how much he cared.

"Why what?" You asked softly, ashamed that you thought anything less of him.

"Why did you start doing that?" Draco asked, mimicking your soft tone.

"I was sinking deeper and deeper into this pit that I couldn't find a way out of, I felt so many emotions for so long until eventually I didn't feel anything at all. So I started cutting because it made me feel something but it ended up becoming almost like an addiction. It was addictive to feel the pain of the blade sliding across my skin and the blood pouring put of my arm. I told myself that I would stop, and I did, for a while. But today was awful, it felt like the only thing that would bring me comfort, so I relapsed." You explained, surprised to see that Draco had tears forming in his eyes.

"Look at me y/n, if you ever feel like that again please come to me. I promise I will do anything in my power to stop you from doing anything stupid." Draco said, taking your arm and gently tracing over the scars.

"Why would you do that for me? I thought you hated me?" You asked.

"I don't hate you y/n, and I do it because I care about what happens to you." Draco replied simply, running his fingers over your scars one last time before drawing away and picking up his previously discarded book from the sofa. "I'm going to bed, I suggest you do the same. And don't forget to come to me if you ever want to do anything like that gain." Draco said, flashing you a warm smile before heading up to his dorm.

Your heart filled with appreciation as you realised that someone on this planet cared, even if it was Draco Malfoy.

»»————-　♡　————-««

A few months passed by in the blink of an eye, and before you knew it you were two months clean. Draco stuck to his promise, always being there for you when you needed him. The first week being clean was always the hardest, but once you got through that it became easier and easier.

As time went by you started to open up a lot more, you told your friends about your bad habits and they were endlessly supportive of you. You were terrified that they would shut you out, but they didn't. Everything seemed to be looking up, until another wave of depression hit you, and everything came crashing back down around you.

You were walking to dinner with your friend, Amy, when the wave of depression overcame you again. It came at odd times, when you were sad, when you were stressed, when you were happy, it never held back.

"Hey, you alright?" Amy asked, noticing your mood change.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me." You murmured, no longer in the mood for talking. Everything just felt so exhausting, you hated being like this, you hated the way that your brain was wired. You had felt this coming for a while now, but there was nothing you could do to stop it.

"Okay." Amy said as the two of you entered the hall, spotting your friends the two of you sat down.

Faking how you were feeling came like second nature, you could laugh and joke with your friends while falling apart on the inside, and that's exactly what you did. No one noticed how you were feeling apart from Amy, and that was only because she was with you when the wave hit you again. She would send you worried glances every now and then, but after reassuring her that you were okay, she seemed to back off a little bit.

You felt yourself slip deeper and deeper into that pit again, with no way out. You could spend all these months feeling completely fine but then your depression pops up again. Eventually you realise that it never really went away, it just took the backseat for a bit. But now it's back and worse than ever.

"I'm going to the bathroom." You mumbled, quickly picking up your bags and rushing out of the hall. Draco had noticed your change in mood, he had gotten very good at reading you so when he saw you rushing out of the hall, he was quick to follow.

You hurried down the corridor, and up to the astronomy tower. You would often come up here on bad nights, the stars kept you company and made you feel as if you weren't really alone.

The stars were already out when you reached the top of the tower, breathing in the crisp autumn air. You hastily made your way over to the edge of the tower, sitting down with your legs dangling precariously from the tower.

The night air and the star lit sky often cleared your head, but not tonight. Tonight your mind was running wild, your mind was telling you to do it. To jump. But every other instinct told you get away from the edge.

You didn't want to die, not really. You just wanted the pain to end, and this felt like the only way of doing that. You felt so stupid killing yourself over a few bad thoughts, but when it was thoughts like these you felt like you didn't have any other option.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" Draco asked cautiously, startling you.

"Did you follow me?" You asked, not moving from your spot on the edge.

"Yes, now please get away from the edge, your scaring me." Draco said, slowly stepping closer to you.

"I don't wanna do it, but I don't have any other choice." You said, voice shaky and tears streaming down your cheeks.

"There's always another option darling. Take my hand, we can get through this together." Draco said, holding out his hand.

"I can't, I'm sorry Draco but I can't." You said, staring off into the black, cloudy abiss.

"Yes you can y/n, here, take it." Draco said as rain started coming down heavily.

"I can't, I'm sorry Draco but I can't continue like this." You shouted over the noise of the wind and rain.

"Yes you can, I'll help you. Please." He shouted back, rain dripping from his golden hair.

You slowly reached your hand up to take his, suddenly realising how bad of an idea this was. "I'm sorry." You whispered, tears running down your face as you grabbed his hand and letting him haul you to your feet.

"Don't be darling, as long as your okay." Draco said, wiping away your tears with the back of his hand. "But please don't do anything like this again, and if you ever feel like you might, please come to me. I care about you and I would hate anything to happen to you."

"I will." You said, pulling away from him and walking towards the door.

"Promise?" Draco asked, following you.

"Promise." You replied. "I don't want to go back to dinner, can we go back to the common room?" You asked, not wanting to be around people at the minute.

"Of course, whatever helps." He said, as the two of you made your way down to your common room. You should have gone to Draco in the first place instead of bottling it all up inside, and that's what your going to do next time. Maybe everything wouldn't be so bad after all, as long as you had Draco by your side.

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