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kaznejis · 10 months

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Love is lost on you- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Sam hummed, eyeing you as he nodded slowly, “He’s been to therapy, gone on a date with some girl apparently.”

Your heart stuttered, eyebrows shooting up as you failed to hide your expression from Sam- the shock and subsequent heartbreak present in your features. “Oh,” you spoke slowly, refusing to meet Sam’s eye, “Yeah, well, good for him.”

A/N- I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing! Please feel free to send any requests for Bucky- I have a lot of free time right now. :)

Word count: 3,862

Read it on AO3!

“Have you seen Bucky recently?”

Your lips twisted at Sam’s question, a lump forming in your throat at the name. Whilst you loved spending time with Sam- breakfasts, jogging together, late night drinks; the topic of your relationship with the Winter Soldier remained a taboo, an unspoken topic that lingered within every etched line of your conversations. You tended to skirt around his questions, opting to forget the time in which Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes had been the pinnacle of a dynamic duo; both inside and outside of the battlefield. Constant speculation surrounding your relationship made you popular within the public eye, even as active fugitives- the perfect, star-studded friends-to-lovers trope, the bad boy and the good girl next door. Natasha had joked about the two of you being a couple- just to appease the general public who had kept up with any of your appearances.

Bucky had laughed in her face, mocking the idea of even being seen with you, ridiculing the idea of recognising what you believed to be true. You had laughed too, as sincerely as you could with the swirl of rejection in the pit of your stomach. You had realised then that despite your prayers, your wishes, you and Bucky Barnes would never be more than friends.

Sam was the only avenger you were constantly in contact with, having both opted to remain in Washington- you would join him in visiting Steve every now and then; now a dwindling old man, a shadow of the former super-soldier you had looked up to. He remembered very little of his time with the Avengers, the wide span of time his life had consisted throughout caused memories to intertwine and muddle together. But he still laughed, still carried that jovial optimism he carried towards life; you could only smile along, holding his hand as he lived out his final days. You envied Steve at times, he had known exactly where he belonged and had taken the chance to go there.

You hadn’t quite worked out your place in the world post-Avengers, post superhero glory.

Maybe that was why you had clung to Sam, meeting with him regularly and joining him on outings to his hometown; he felt the same way. You couldn’t blame him when he gave away the shield- it was too much of a responsibility, a burden to hold for the rest of his life as he would constantly live in Steve’s shadow. You understood, you couldn’t fault him for it- but part of you knew it would have landed in the wrong hands.

“No,” you shook your head, running a finger along the rim of your beer bottle as the new ‘Captain America’ pranced around on the bar’s television above you. “Why, have you?”

Sam hummed, eyeing you as he nodded slowly, “He’s been to therapy, gone on a date with some girl apparently.”

Sam hummed again, a blatant smirk upon his lips as he drank from his beer bottle, “There’s something else.”

“Go on.”

“He’s coming down here, to help confront the flag smashers issue,” his voice faded out as your heart thudded, “And to probably cuss me out for letting the shield go.”

“He’s coming here? Bucky’s coming here?” your voice wobbled slightly, your facade of strength instantly fading at the thought of being in the same room as him, seeing his face, smelling his scent. It was a feeling you’d once been accustomed to, seeing him everyday- sparring with him in the gym, fighting alongside him, collapsing into his arms as the both of you had faded back into existence- gripping the sides of his face, foreheads connected as you’d cried. Your lips had collided on that fateful day, tears mingling together as you’d gripped at each other, holding fistfuls of his long hair in that Wakandan jungle. You had thought that was it, it was finally happening. But then the portals had opened, the fight had ended and the clarity of the situation had become all too real- Tony and Natasha were dead, Steve was no longer the young super-soldier he had been only seconds earlier. Bucky had left then, disappeared without a trace leaving the kiss you had shared merely adding up to the heat of the moment.

It had broken your heart, more so than the day Bucky had laughed at the thought of a relationship. You had finally grasped it, everything you had ever wanted- you were alive, you had won, you had Bucky. But within minutes it was over, rendering you helpless, empty, alone. You had been left with nothing post-blip, no family to return to, no home to return to. You joined the billions that simply rode the wave of life, unable to return to their previous selves; unable to gain back the years upon years lost to Thanos.

Sam had continued to eye you, pity sitting deep within his eyes, “You know, maybe now could be the time to discuss what happened between you two.”

You shook your head once again, a sardonic chuckle erupting from your gut, “I don’t wanna do that to him, Sam.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You literally just said that he’s been on a date, I don’t want to disrupt his life now with reminders of the past. He’s put it all behind him and I respect that.” You continued to work in favour of America, utilising your skills in order to aid the government. You and Sam had co-ran multiple military focused missions- threats were ever prevalent, so at least you could be occupied on that front.

Sam sighed, rubbing at his forehead, exhaustion prevalent within the crease of his brow, “Well, the two of you better not be awkward as hell the whole time, we have a mission to complete.”

Smiling, you raised your beer bottle to clink it against his, a toast to whatever was to come. “Can’t make any promises.”

You pitied Sam, sitting on the other side of the plane, grasping at any semblance of a coherent conversation in order to escape the thick tension within the air. It was awkward as hell.

Bucky had stormed over to the two of you, opting to ignore you entirely and cuss Sam out for losing the shield. You had been too stunned to acknowledge him- his once long locks had been chopped, replaced by cropped, buzzed hair with the slightest fluff on top. Your body practically yearned for him as you took in the tight leather, light stubble and dominant demeanour he now wore- the quiet, isolated Bucky that you had rescued and harboured was no longer present; he had been replaced by a real soldier- all hard muscle and perfected accuracy. You had stood to the side of Sam, switching between avoiding Bucky’s gaze and gawking at his new appearance. Upon the chance that he had taken to try and acknowledge you, you had already walked away- much to Sam’s dismay as he side eyed the both of you the entire walk towards the plane. Despite Sam’s endearing attempts to include you in the conversation, you had merely hummed and nodded- too nervous to engage with this new Bucky Barnes.

So, now, you sat side by side in the back of the plane- waiting, begging, for the instruction to jump. As soon as it did come, Sam was gone- practically leaping from the plane as he flew towards the target. Bucky had faltered, glancing back at you momentarily as you had remained stoic; refusing to meet his gaze as you checked your weapons.

He cleared his throat, glancing downwards from the exit of the plane, “We got any chutes?”

“It’s too low.” Joaquin replied from the opening, gripping the handle as he remained stable. Bucky glanced back at you once again, a tinge of worry present in his features as he calculated the expanse of the drop before you. You rolled your eyes back, crossing your arms as you waited for him to jump. Clicking his tongue, he nodded- before throwing himself from the plane.

“Impressive,” you snorted as he screamed, grinning at Joaquin who attempted to stifle his laugh, “Good thing I thought to install gliders in my stealth suit instead of opting for a leather jacket.” At that you swan-dived from the entrance, allowing your suit to expand and form makeshift gliders. With feline-like precision, you landed on your two feet beside Bucky, splayed along the grass.

“Well, that was majestic.”

You scoffed, turning to jog after Red Wing as it began to lead the way to Sam’s location. Though, before you could; a weighted hand grasped at your sleeve, “Whoa, whoa. Hold on.” Bucky gasped, presumably exasperated from the fall, “Are you gonna talk to me or are you giving an old friend the silent treatment right now?”

Scoffing, you snatched your hands from the metal arm- an action only possible with his allowance, “What do we have to talk about, James?”

“Oh- come on Doll, James, seriously?” your heart sped at the nickname, your cheeks filling with heat as you turned your face away from Bucky, beginning the long run through the forest. You heard a sigh behind you, to which you ignored, you had nothing to discuss with him. He had obviously moved on, with no intention of using this meet up as a chance to potentially rekindle what had about to have been- right person, wrong time and all. But instead he had gone on a date. He had probably bought her flowers, drinks, and put on a nice outfit for her. The thought made your stomach churn, the polar opposite of butterflies swarming in your stomach. Jealousy. Out of curiosity, you just wanted to know who she was- check that she was a viable replacement, made him happy, was good looking and all. Though you couldn’t ask Bucky about it- why should you care anyway? The two of you had kissed once. Bucky probably didn’t even remember it, you thought to yourself.

The two of you jogged in silence; the heavy weight of what lay between you creating a dark cast upon your conscience. You well and truly pitied Sam. The Falcon came into view within the warehouse, crouched behind a shelf and watching the targets. As him and Bucky argued petulantly, you observed the group ahead- they were just kids. All young, fighting for what they believed was right; you saw a mirror image of your own young self. You watched as they entered the trucks- Sam scanned the trucks before realising that a hostage was potentially present within one of the vehicles. You swore, sprinting after Sam and Bucky.

“Wait!” you shouted, causing the others to come to a halt; both sharing confused looks, “Sam I need you to lift me so we can get extra eyes from the sky- I’m not as fast as the two of you on foot and I’m definitely not about to make James give me a piggyback.” Sam nodded, ensuring that he could lift you and fly at the same time- but not before sharing a confused look with Bucky, mouthing ‘James?’ to which Bucky only shook his head, shrugging. The two of you flew off, allowing you the opportunity to unholster your handguns and deliver a number of shots to the top of the truck.

“Drop me off on top!” you yelled up to Sam as you watched Bucky be thrown from one van and dragged to the top of another. His super-soldier strength inflicting damage upon each vehicle.

“Are you serious?” Sam shouted from above, “You’ll get yourself killed, look at them holding Bucky back right now.”

“Do it Sam.” you ordered, squirming in his arms until he deposited you on top of the trucks to which you instantly unclipped your throwing knives, depositing two into the necks of the two soldiers holding Bucky back. Though- it only angered them, allowing them to turn their attention to your human form. You swore, your hair whipping in the wind as they advanced towards you.

“Y/N!” Bucky yelled, fighting against the men holding him down, “Y/N, no!”

Delivering a fatal kick, the soldier finally reached you, grabbing you by the hair and slamming you into the top of the truck. Screaming, you mustered every tactic you’d ever been taught: elbows, legs, arms- any brutal bone was thrown against the soldier pinning you down. The man tutted, his anonymity within the mask only increasing your terror as cold eyes glared down at you. You realized that you had become used to fighting alongside super soldiers instead of against them.

You heard Bucky’s yell before you felt the impact of the floor- the trucks speeding away as you laid at the side of the road; each breath hitching with the intense pain within your body. Gritting your teeth, you rolled to your knees and crawled to the roadside; only to lose momentum and roll into a ditch. The fall would have been fatal if not for the protection of your suit- but the high velocity impact had still broken a number of bones. Licking your lips, the taste of acrid copper prevailed as you began to cough up flecks of blood; turning only to see that the grass around you was stained red.

“Shit.” your vision blurred dangerously- the pain merged into an unfocused haze, rendering your ability to identify your injuries useless. Fading in and out of consciousness, you listened to the wildlife around you and thought of Bucky. He would never know the origin of your anger- only remembering the cold mirage you had enacted towards him; opting to ignore him instead. Sobbing, you prayed for anyone, anything to find you; for Sam and Bucky to break free from the soldiers and come and find you, save you. You would apologise then- talk to Bucky, talk to him about whatever he wanted to say to you. It didn’t matter if you were just friends, if you met his new girlfriend- you just wanted to see him again.

Blood stained your chin at that point; the coughing and choking a constant motion as you couldn’t muster the strength to sit up; to allow your throat some reprieve. Your leg felt wrong, broken in different places and bent backwards at the knee. As your vision faded, you only thought of Bucky.

“Shit, shit Y/N,” a gust of wind hit you as the whoosh of wings closing sounded above, “Buck! I’ve found her, she’s over here.”

The sound of knees hitting the ground beside your head could be heard next, the impact causing your head to jostle, “Doll? Y/N, can you hear me, tell me you can hear me.” warmth surrounded you as you felt your head being lifted into a lap, a rough sleeve gently wiped the blood staining your chin, “Come on Y/N, don’t do this to me. Wake up.”

“Get her in the truck.” A foreign voice sounded, deep and arrogant in its timber.

“Get away from her,” the voice above you snapped, “we don’t know the extent to her injuries yet- we may not be able to lift her.”

“We need to get her to a hospital, Buck,” a voice that sounded like Sam’s spoke, “there’s still a heartbeat, we’ve got a chance.” Throughout the conversation above you, a trembling hand had caressed your face; smoothing the blood-matted hair away from your face and distracting you from the pain throughout your body. The hand was calloused but gentle- the feeling of it against your cheek vaguely familiar in your unconscious state. You faded in-and-out of consciousness from there, an ache resounding throughout your body as you were lifted and held against a firm chest; warmth radiating through the harsh material. Sweet nothings and comforts were whispered into your ear as the body stayed close, the hand firm against the side of your face; creating a comforting pressure. Reminding you that you could still be alive.

Eventually, you woke- the harsh lights of a hospital room blinding as your eyes adjusted; the last thing you had seen being the country roadside. Coughing, you retched at the sandpaper texture to your throat. A straw was quickly coaxed towards your mouth, Sam’s worrisome eyes staring down at you. You sipped from the straw, blinking as you truly adjusted to being conscious.

“Hey there,” Sam spoke as he gave you a watery smile, his eyes filling with tears, “We thought we’d lost you for a minute there.”

“Can’t lose me that easily,” you croaked, smiling at your best friend and reaching for his hand; to which he obliged.

“Thankfully not,” Sam laughed shakily, his gaze still clouded with emotion, “Y/N, I was the one to see you first and- we really didn’t know if you were going to make it. I mean there was so much blood and your leg-” you squeezed his hand tighter, you were alive, you were okay. Sam’s vision darkened suddenly, his hold on yours tightening. “You should have seen him Y/N.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you cocked your head at Sam, “Who?”

“Buck, he- the soldiers held him up so he watched as you were thrown. The scream he let out I- I’ve not seen him lose it like that during a fight in years, not since-”

“The Winter Soldier.” you finished, turning your gaze to your hands. Sam could only nod.

“He cares about you, Y/N. So much. He held you to his chest the entire journey here and we practically had to tear you from his arms when we arrived.”

“Why isn’t he here now then?

Sam’s face took a different cast then, one of confusion. “I- I’m not sure actually, he said he wanted to give us some space?” You reflected his look of confusion.

“Is he still in the hospital?”

“I assume so, it wasn’t too long ago that he left,” Sam stood then, giving you a kiss on the cheek and jogging towards the door- still in full Falcon gear, “I’m gonna send him in.”

It was only a number of moments later that Bucky rounded the entrance to the doorway, his expression stricken as he froze- staring at your opened eyes, at your steady breaths. A beat passed and he sighed, moving to occupy the vacant seat that Sam had been sitting in only moments earlier. “Hey, Doll.��

“Buck,” you sighed, reaching for his twitching hand that lay at the edge of your bed, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, a glint of anger and confusion in his eyes, “I’m okay? Y/N I watched you fall from a moving truck.”

Rolling your eyes, you sat straight; wincing slightly at the pain, “I was just say-”

“No, Y/N,” Bucky snapped, “you shouldn’t even have been there in the first place, I mean what were you thinking, jumping onto a truck and taking on super soldiers that were holding me down.”

“Wow, thanks-”

“Seriously. This easily could have been prevented if your boyfriend hadn’t agreed to carry you 100 feet into the air.”

“My what-”

“I mean, come on, surely he should have your best interests in mind. The whole thing was reckless from the beginning, if I was in his position I wouldn’t have brought you.”

You sat, shell shocked, Bucky thought you and Sam were together, “Is that why you weren’t here when I woke up?”

Bucky nodded then, hurt in his eyes as he scrubbed at his stubble, “Yeah- I mean, I wanted to, you know, give you space. Let you work things out I don’t know-”

You cackled, laughing right in his face- leading to an entirely unattractive coughing fit to which Bucky was forced to clap you on the back. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you chuckled, wiping at the tears rolling down your cheeks as you stared at the silly man before you, “Bucky, me and Sam aren’t together.”

Bucky paused, seemingly halting in his tracks as he gaped at you, “What?”

“We aren’t together.”

“But-” he shook his head, having seemingly lived a lie for however long he’d believed this, “but you two have been so close I mean- every time I talk to Sam he mentions things the two of you have been doing and you’re just so close and in tune with each other I thought-”

“We’re just friends Buck,” your mouth twisted, the clarity of the situation hitting you, “Why do you even care anyway? You have a girlfriend.”

“Oh for goodness sake.” Bucky was laughing now, standing and opting to pace the room, his face filled with mirth as he continued to scrub at his stubble, “I do not have a girlfriend.”

“Sam told me you went on a date.”

“Sam told you- yeah and he conveniently missed the part where I did that in an attempt to get over you.” Bucky threw his arms up then, his expression defeated as he spoke. You could only stare back, lips pursed, eyes wide.

“Get over me?”

“Yes.”

“But, I thought-” you shook your head, “after the battle, you-you left and we never spoke again. I thought you regretted what happened. I thought-”

“Every waking moment is spent thinking about that kiss, Doll,” Bucky sighed, circling the bed to sit back at your side, taking your hand in his, “I was mourning, my best friend was gone and I knew he was going to do it but I just- I would never be ready for it, you know. Sam found me later and he was telling me all of these stories about you and- God, I’m so stupid- I presumed that the two of you had gotten together so I kept my distance. I mean, I was so in love with you that I didn’t want to ruin that for you even despite what had happened between us and- I’m so sorry Y/N.”

Tears trickled down your cheeks as you stared at the ridiculous, gorgeous man before you; you laughed again, softer and tearier this time as you reached to grab Bucky’s face, mirroring the action that he had done to you during your unconscious state, “We are so ridiculous.”

Bucky laughed too then, moving to sit at the edge of your bed and tuck the loose hair behind your ears- his cheeks were crumpled; red with embarrassment and love and longing. He leaned forward then, careful in respect of your injuries, in order to capture your lips between his. This kiss was different from your first, it was slower, less urgent- your thumbs tracing figure-of-eights into his cheeks as you didn’t carry that same weight of uncertainty as you had last time. You smiled against each other's mouths, hands trailing each other’s bodies- the back of his head, his cheeks, his back, his neck, the brass of his metal arm.

You finally felt complete, like you knew where you belonged.

#bucky barnes x reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #extremely self indulgent #sam wilson #marvel #thunderbolts #use of the doll nickname iktrrrr

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vigilante-3073 · 3 months

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Helping Hand

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Putting together a bookshelf becomes a lot more complicated without the help of a super-soldier.

TW: Fluff, girl construction, mild flirting.

Y/N sat on the floor in the middle of the living room. Various wooden pieces were scattered around the floor along with a singular pink bowl filled with screws.

Y/N had bought a bookshelf to put up in the nearly empty apartment that she lived in with Bucky. The place could definitely use some decor in order to start feeling like an actual home.

She sat on the floor in front of the television as it played some overly dramatic reality show that Bucky insisted he loathed, but secretly loved.

Y/N put the screws into the wooden pieces with the backside of a metal nail file as the door opened.

"Doll, you home?" Bucky called, tossing his keys into the dish on the table by the door.

"In the living room!" She called without looking up from her project.

Bucky made his way into the living room, bright eyes finding the chaos that had unfolded while he was out.

"How was therapy?" Y/N asked, tightening one of the screws.

Bucky looked around the room slowly "What the hell are you doing?" Bucky questioned.

Y/N looked up at him, "Building a bookshelf," She stated plainly, turning her attention back to the pieces.

"We don't have any tools. What are you using?" Bucky asked, looking around for evidence of a recent trip to the hardware store.

"This," She said, holding up a nail file proudly.

"What is that?" Bucky asked, making his way over to her.

"My building nail file," Y/N said.

"You're seriously using a nail file to put together a bookshelf?" Bucky asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it's worked out well for me so far," Y/N stated, looking down at the book of instructions.

"Did Steve let you put together stuff with that thing?" Bucky asked.

Y/N dropped her hands to her lap with a huff, "No," She admitted reluctantly.

"He always did it for me, but I swear I can do it myself," Y/N said, looking up at him.

Bucky sighed, squatting down beside her "What kind of screws are they?" He asked.

"I have no idea. They have a little 'x' on top," She said.

"I'm gonna run to the hardware store and them I'll help you put the rest of it together, okay?" Bucky questioned, she nodded.

...

Bucky lifted the bookshelf, sliding it back against the wall of the apartment. He took a step back, standing beside Y/N as they admired their handiwork.

It had taken Bucky under an hour to put together the rest of the shelf with the appropriate tools.

"Now that the shelf is put together, I bought you a little something to put on it. Wait here," She said, rushing out of the room.

She returned quickly with a blue gift bag, white tissue paper sticking out the top.

"You didn't have to buy me anything," He said.

She waved her hand, "It's a gift. Now, c'mon, open it," Y/N said, holding it out to him.

Bucky sighed, taking the bag from her hand and pushing aside the tissue paper. He reached into the bag and pulled out a boxed set of books.

His brow furrowed as he turned the plastic wrapped books in his hand, "This is The Lord of the Rings," He stated.

"Yeah, Sam told me that you read them when they first came out and I thought you might like to have a copy of your own," Y/N said.

Bucky stepped forward, tossing the gift bag onto the couch before placing the boxed set up onto one of the shelves.

He stepped back again, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her body close to his side. Bucky pressed his lips to the crown of her head, "Thank you for thinking of me, doll," He said softly.

"I always think of you," She stated, wrapping her arms around him.

He ran his hand over her back gently, "I do have to say, you did a pretty good job with that nail file," Bucky said.

"That's girl construction, for you," Y/N smiled.

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #bucky barns fanfiction

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rocketrhap3000 · 11 months

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hint dropped

summary: while looking at rings online, you accidentally click a “send a hint” feature addressed to Bucky’s email, despite never having that conversation with him and not even knowing whether or not that’s something he wants, but his reaction surprises you :)

a/n: this has been in my drafts for so long holy macaroni

warnings: topic of marriage, mentions of sex, a wee bit of angst + miscommunications, reader is kinda insecure, otherwise this is pure silly and soft fluff lol

my main masterlist

You hadn’t intended for it to go this way. Really, you hadn’t.

When Wanda had told you about the website, you only meant to look at rings for fun. But the more you started looking, the more you could picture the rings on your finger, and the more you could picture your wedding day with Bucky, and the more you could imagine your entire future together.

It’s cliche, but Bucky Barnes makes you the happiest person on the planet.

However, in just over the year you’ve been together, marriage has never been something you and Bucky have ever discussed, so you really had no idea of his perspective on this whole topic. You thought the idea would scare him, judging by his reactions to anything to do with weddings, including when you invited him to be your plus one to your cousin’s wedding just a month prior.

“I don’t know why people enjoy these things. It just seems so stressful,” he told you in your hotel room after the rehearsal dinner, which, to be fair, was completely valid.

Your cousin had been freaking out the entire afternoon, her soon-to-be groom was stressed out seeing her so anxious, and neither of them seemed happy at dinner whatsoever. So, you couldn’t figure out if Bucky was talking about the chaos of the preparation and ceremony and all the work that a wedding entails, or the actual commitment of marriage itself.

Deep down, you know that you and Bucky are truly in love; he makes you feel extremely loved and cared for, and you could never question his loyalty to you. But a part of you is still just so scared to bring it up. You’ve only been dating for barely over a year, and you don’t really know about any of his past relationships.

Is a year long enough for Bucky to know whether or not he sees a future with you?

Sadly, those doubts didn’t discourage you from looking at rings. They should have, though, because then you wouldn’t have this problem.

The website’s supposed-to-be-cute ‘drop a hint’ feature didn’t have a second confirmation screen, and Bucky’s email is one of the default fill-ins on your laptop. So when you accidentally clicked his email into the box, it was sent before you could even realize what you had just done.

Doubts and fears flood your mind. He’s going to think you're too much. He’s not going to want to commit this early on. He’s not nearly into the relationship as deeply as you are.

Scrambling through his desk drawers in search of his own laptop, you only realize your search is pointless when you hear Bucky walking through the main door. He’s just getting back from a meeting with the team. He obviously has his laptop with him.

“Honey, I’m home,” his chipper voice calls out your favorite, cheesy way for him to announce his arrival.

You hurriedly sort the drawers of his desk back in an attempt to restore them to how you found them before racing out of his office to meet him in the front entryway.

“Hi, Sweets,” he whispers with a smile, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Have you checked your email lately?” you ask frantically, accidentally ignoring his loving act.

“Wow, what a greeting,” he jokes, then chuckles as his thumbs rub gently over your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you say sheepishly, reaching your hand up the back of his neck and giving him a real kiss - longer and more meaningful - to make up for it. He smiles and hums against your lips, enjoying the contact just as much as you are. “How was it?” you ask quietly, rubbing his shoulders and glancing at his tired eyes.

“Mm, boring,” he mumbles, keeping you from going too far. “Glad I can spend the rest of the day with you,” he answers, pulling you back in and kissing your temple.

“So have you?” you ask, again, completely ignoring his affection towards you.

“Have I what?” he frowns, clearly confused.

“Checked your email,” you finish. But the second the words come out of your mouth, you feel bad. You don’t mean to dwell on the topic, but quite frankly, it’s the only thing that you can think about.

“Uh, no. Not recently,” he chuckles again. “Why do you ask? Should I check my email?”

“No! No reason!” you exclaim, parting from him.

“Must be some reason if that was the first thing you asked me when I walked in the door,” he jokes.

You ignore his remark, turning the other way and walking towards the living room.

“(Y/n),” he calls, grabbing your hand and pulling you back to him. “Why do I need to check my email?” he asks in a whisper while a goofy smile dances across his lips.

You hope he can’t feel your hands shaking and your pulse beating like a drum. He looks expectantly at you with those big baby blues, and your heart aches.

“It’s nothing!” you finally say.

“Sweets, if it takes that long for you to say it’s nothing, then it’s something,” he smiles worriedly.

Bucky’s witty. Too clever for his own good. And for yours, too, since he knows you better than you know yourself. So you think of an excuse.

It’s not a great one, but it will have to do.

“Well, I was thinking you should probably empty your spam,” you mutter.

“My sp— Sweetheart, what?” he laughs.

“Yeah apparently there’s a spam virus going around infecting peoples laptops,” you mumble, and Bucky looks so confused. “Here, you can go get changed and unwind! I’ll do it for you,” you smile, trying to act natural, but you are far past that by now.

“I know I’m not great with technology, but I’m pretty sure Stark Tech is pretty impenetrable,” he chuckles, rubbing a hand over your cheek.

“Well, let me check anyway?” you offer, reaching to take the backpack off of his shoulders. But Bucky doesn’t let the straps slide off.

“You are being really weird right now, Sweets,” he chuckles, grabbing your hands, pulling them off his shoulders, and tugging them behind him, lovingly forcing you into a hug.

“No I’m not,” you whine quietly, leaning your forehead on his chest.

“Yeah, ya are,” he laughs again, pulling your head up to meet your eyes and kissing your nose. “I am gonna go shower and change, and you are more than welcome to join me if you’d like,” he invites softly with a wink.

And as desperately as you want to get that email out of his inbox, you know any further attempts are futile. You’ve made him suspicious now. He’s going to find that email no matter what.

“I’ll stay down here,” you shake your head and swallow thickly.

“Something really must be up,” he frowns teasingly. “You never turn down shower sex.”

You know he’s just trying to get you to smile, but it doesn’t work. You stay silent. But Bucky reads you like a book.

“What’s this all about, Sweetheart? What’s got you so upset?”

“I’m fine,” you shake your head again.

“You’re obviously not fine. I know something’s buggin’ you. But I’m not gonna pry. At least not until later,” he pokes your side, causing you to curl into yourself.

“Stop,” you giggle, trying to hide your smile. He does as you say, taking his hands off of you the second you ask him to.

But you lean into him again, resting your chin on his shoulder and sighing before pulling away and looking at him. He cups your face in his spacious hands, letting his thumbs run over your cheeks.

“You know I was just teasing about the shower sex thing, right? You don’t ever have to make an excuse to me.” he whispers. You nod in his hands. “And you know I love you so much, right?” You nod again.

“I love you, too,” you mumble back nervously against his lips.

“I’ll be back down soon,” he promises, then laughs lightly. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re not joining me. I really do need to actually shower.”

With another kiss to your forehead, you watch as he turns around and heads for the bedroom to shower and change.

You know Bucky. He’s curious. And you weren’t exactly subtle in trying to get ahold of his laptop. You know he’s going to check his email the second he gets into the bedroom. So instead of sulking about it, you busy yourself with starting on some dinner for the two of you.

But, maybe he won’t check his email. Maybe he won’t even find out. Maybe it went straight to his junk inbox where it got lost among dozens of other emails and will delete itself in 30 days. Maybe it didn’t even send. Maybe it will all be fine.

~♡~

Half an hour later, you’re still deep in the spiral of anxiety over this stupid email fiasco. Alpine makes an appearance in the kitchen, brushing up against your leg before leaping up onto the kitchen stool to let you know she’s in need of some love, and also bringing you a little comfort. You give her some scratches while deep in thought, wishing she could give you advice on how to deal with this situation.

However, your train of thought is interrupted when you hear Bucky’s footsteps echo down the hall, until he’s standing right behind you, arms slinking around your torso to hold you close. The white cat leaps down from the seat and scurries off to the living room, as if to give her mom and dad a moment alone.

“Smells good,” he compliments, pressing a kiss to the space just behind your ear.

“You smell good,” you sigh as you inhale a wave of his aroma - a mix of your lavender laundry detergent, and the oaky fresh scent of his body wash. Then, turning around in his grasp, you lean off of him just enough to hand him a plate of food. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” he murmurs, and the two of you head to the living room with your plates of dinner to watch the next episode of the series you’ve been watching together.

But once you’re settled on the couch with dinner in your laps and the tv going, you still can't find it in you to draw your thoughts away from the email. He’s had to have seen it by now, right? He had to have checked when he went to shower. Why hasn’t he brought it up yet?

You glance over at him, his dark hair is still damp yet fluffy and curly, and his cheeks are still rosy from the hot water of his shower. He’s just too cute. If you weren’t so anxious about the current situation, you would’ve snuggled right up with him and let yourself zone out to the tv.

Bucky smiles when he catches you staring at him, clearly lost in thought again, then leans over to kiss your nose. You shake your head and scoff bashfully before he grabs both of your finished plates to set them on the coffee table. Next, he’s pulling you into his side as his arm rests behind you, sighing contently.

“So…” he starts off with a kiss to your temple. “My laptop is, indeed, virus-free,” he finishes quietly.

Your stomach drops.

You knew it. He found out.

“Yeah?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from shaking. You sit up from his embrace, taking a sip of water from your glass on the table as an excuse to space yourself from him just a little.

“Yeah,” he confirms, placing a hand on your back and rubbing gently. You glance back over to him just briefly as he continues. “But there was something else that caught my attention,” he smiles, tilting his head.

“Oh?” you query, settling back against the couch, but further away from him, as you turn back to stare blankly at the tv screen, trying your best to play dumb for as long as you can.

“Darlin’,” he starts, and you think you might pass out because of how fast your heart is beating. ”Why was there a... catalogue... for wedding rings with the caption ‘take a hint!’ in my inbox?” he laughs lightly.

“Mm?” you barely respond, your voice hardly coming out. “No clue.”

“Oh, really?” he smiles. “That... wouldn’t be what you were trying to hide from me, would it?”

He waits a second, knowing you’re pretending to not hear him, then grabs the remote to click off the tv.

“Sweets,” he chuckles lightly, gently turning you to face him.

Tears begin to burn at the back of your eyes and your throat feels like it’s wrapped in barbed wire. You swallow hard, finally making eye contact with Bucky.

His eyes are soft and understanding, shimmering with a certain sparkle that always brings you so much comfort. You know he loves you so much.

“Is this what you were freaking out about?” he asks again softly.

You nod hesitantly, chest tightening with panic.

“I didn’t mean to send it to you!” you exclaim, choking back tears.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he laughs softly, reaching out to cup your face with his right hand.

“So… so you’re not mad?” you say as your bottom lip wobbles.

A tear rolls down your cheek when you blink and you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“Mad? Sweetheart, of course not,” he coos, swiping the tear from your cheek. “Why in the world would I be mad?”

Your chest immediately feels lighter and your head stops spinning once you recognize he’s not upset at all.

“I don’t know,” you answer bashfully and with a sniffle. “We’ve never really talked about it. And we’ve only been together for a year. I mean, that’s not that long in the grand scheme of things. So I didn’t know how you felt.”

“Felt about what?” he asks sweetly, slightly tilting his head in confusion.

“Getting married,” you answer quietly, casting your gaze to your lap.

“(Y/n),” he begins, lifting your face to get you to look up at him. When you do, his ocean blue eyes stare right into yours, and another great wave of comfort washes over you. “I want it all with you. Everything.”

“Everything?” you ask shyly.

“Yes, everything,” he chuckles. “Plenty more dates. An engagement. A beautiful wedding. An incredible honeymoon,” he leans forward to kiss you slowly, and you giggle giddily when he pulls away. “And maybe even a kid or two. Or maybe just a dog or another cat. I know Alpine would make the best big sister. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. I want it all with you, Sweetheart,” he repeats.

“You do?” you sniffle again.

“Of course I do. I absolutely see a future with you, (Y/n). I couldn’t imagine it without you. I’m so sorry that I made you think otherwise.”

“It’s not your fault,” you shake your head, placing a hand on his cheek. “You know how I overthink.”

Well, still. I should’ve been more direct with my feelings,” he turns his head to kiss your palm. “How long have you been worrying about this, Sweets?”

“Bucky, it’s really okay,” you assure him. “I’ve always kind of wondered, but it really wasn’t until this morning, when I was… looking at rings,” you admit.

“Okay,” he chuckles. “But will you let me know if there’s a style or a specific ring that’s caught your attention? I just gotta know. Just… for future reference,” he winks slyly.

“I mean, there are a few I liked,” you shrug shyly.

“Well, let me see!” he says, jumping from the couch to run and grab his laptop.

“Bucky,” you laugh, trying to get him to stay, but he’s far stronger than you are, and he breaks away, grabs his laptop, and sprints back to the couch to secure you in his embrace in a matter of seconds.

“Show me,” he softly demands, clicking on the link from the email, which pulls up the website as he hands the laptop over to you.

“Okay,” you giggle as he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him as you scroll through the choices to find the one that caught your eye. “There was... this one.”

“That’s gorgeous, Sweetheart,” he murmurs, kissing your shoulder. “So many to choose from, too. You’d look perfect with any of ‘em.”

“Bucky,” you smile bashfully, and a giddy heat settles on your cheeks at his compliment.

“It’s true!” he insists, then hums before speaking up again. “So... on a completely unrelated note...” you see a playful smirk form on his beautiful face. “What is your ring size... and where’s your dream vacation destination?”

Laughter escapes from your chest - relieved that the entire situation has been resolved and you had been worried for nothing.

“I guess I’m not sure of either just yet,” you reply, and Bucky laughs along with you.

“Well, let me know when you have an answer. ‘Cause I can’t imagine making my girl wait much longer,” he whispers the last part, and your heart flutters in your chest, prompting you to shut the laptop, set it on the coffee table in front of you, and snuggle up with Bucky, wrapping your arms around his strong frame.

“I love you, Bucky,” you murmur into his chest.

“I love you most, Sweetheart,” he echoes, kissing the top of your head and already starting to plan how he’ll ask you to marry him.

Because little did you, or even Bucky, know that your little technology mishap was just the encouragement he needed to get that ring, plan a romantic getaway, and propose, starting off a beautiful future together.

~~~

a/n: thank you so much for reading! if you enjoyed it, i would love to hear your feedback and would greatly appreciate a reblog! 💘🫶

#bucky barnes #tfatws #marvel #avengers #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #the winter soldier #the white wolf #the falcon and the winter soldier #sebastian stan

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sebstan2020 · 4 months

Text

Sebastian Stan Fanfiction Masterlist

Bucky Barnes

Red Ties - Bucky Barnes

The King - Bucky Barnes

The Rise of Hydra - Bucky Barnes

The Captains Daughter - Bucky Barnes

Trespassing - Bucky Barnes

The Presidents Daughter - Bucky Barnes

A Slave for You - Bucky Barnes

She Works for the Devil - Bucky Barnes

At His Service - Bucky Barnes

Territory - Bucky Barnes

New World Order - Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Companion - Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers

Repaying the Debt - Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes One shots

Steve Kemp

Not Leaving - Steve Kemp

Max Burnett

The Sharpest Lies - Max Burnett

Max Burnett One shots

Nick Fowler

Nick Fowler One shots

Sebastian Stan

Sebastian Stan One shots

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runawrites-blog · 6 months

Text

Trust (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: You notice it during a quiet evening spent with Bucky and then it won't leave your head again. Bucky is afraid of touching you with his vibranium arm, going out of his way to avoid doing so. You take it upon yourself to try and show him that he doesn't have to worry that you're not afraid, and that you trust him completely. (Gender Neutral Reader) Word Count: 6,092 Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Mild Discussions of Past Traumatic Events, Mild Violence and Mentions of Fighting, No Y/N, Petnames (Doll, Love), Non-Graphic Smut Scene (To avoid it skip from "It was three days later" and continue at "You moved your hands", so skip the first paragraph there. Please do not read it and instead skip it if you are not 18+/ Skip it if you are a Minor) Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51380476

---

The first time you noticed it, was during a stormy night which you had spent curled up in your bed with Bucky, reading a book while he was lying by your side, his head on your chest and his right arm looped around your waist. Eventually, you decided to turn down for the night, and seeing as Bucky had not moved for the past hour or so, you were careful as you put your book down and turned off the light, assuming that he had fallen asleep. But as you gingerly shimmied down on the bed he looked up at you and you gave him an apologetic look, thinking you’d woken him up.

“Sorry, Bucky, I just wanted to lie down so we can turn in for the night.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his head as you settled on your pillow. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t, Sweetheart. I was about to drift off.”

“You could have if you were tired, Love. I wouldn’t have minded.” You soothed, lips moving down to his cheek. “Why didn’t you?”

“Better safe than sorry.” He sat up and you watched as he reached up to detach his vibranium arm before putting it down close to the bed and lying back down next to you. “Now we can finally settle down.”

His words made you still in your movements, a terrible suspicion dawning on you that painted a lot of his previous actions in a completely different light. Bucky usually preferred to hold your hand with his right one and always had you sit by that side. During intimate moments he never touched you with his left hand and solely used it for keeping his balance. Every time you shared a bed he detached his arm before settling down. You had always assumed that it was simply more comfortable to sleep without the metal arm weighing him down and had it not been for his words you would have continued to think so but now you knew that this was not the only reason.

Bucky was afraid of hurting you with his vibranium arm.

For a few seconds, you mulled over that suspicion, thinking about how to breech the subject, how to assure him that you trusted him not to hurt you, to talk about his fears. But you were at a loss and when Bucky turned halfway back onto his stomach, head settling on your shoulder and face buried at your neck as his right arm looped around your waist you decided to not speak up about it for now. Bucky was exhausted from a long day and you wanted to offer him the comfort and safety he needed. So you just wrapped your arms around him and buried your nose in his hair.

“Sleep well.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his head. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Bucky mumbled back, voice soft as he held onto you tightly. “Sleep well, Sweetheart.”

“With you by my side, I always do.”

Against your skin, you could feel his mouth turn into a smile and despite your worries, you felt grateful that he was at the very least smiling and that he seemed comfortable. But his words still circled your head. Bucky was afraid of hurting you with his metal arm and he was actively going out of his way to keep it away from you. You wanted nothing more than to prove to him that his worries were unfounded but you didn’t know how to go about it -- and even if you did, you knew he wouldn’t believe you.

When the next morning rolled around, waking you with the rays of sun that gently fell in through the curtains and had long since chased the rain away, it only took your thoughts a few seconds to circle back to the previous night. A frown overtook your features as you once more thought about what to do but before you could come up with an idea a hand reached up to gently carass your cheek.

“What’s got you frowning first thing in the morning, Doll?”

You looked down at Bucky and gave him a soft smile. “Nothing important, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t too heavy, was I? I keep telling you that if me sleeping halfway on top of you is too heavy you have to tell me so I can move.”

“No, that’s really not it, I swear.” You said, chuckling softly as you shook your head. “If anything I like having your weight on me. You’re like my personal weighted blanket.”

Bucky leaned up to kiss your cheek before he slowly sat up and you admired how his body stretched in the warm sunlight, outlining his features. For a moment you allowed yourself to smile at his domestic moment with your partner. But when he reached for his arm to reattach it to where it hooked into his shoulder all the concern from the previous night came back and once more you thought about what to do to ease his worries. You still knew that he would not believe you if you simply told him these things but perhaps it was worth a try to show him that you did not share his worries even in the slightest. So, you decided to make it your mission to prove this to Bucky.

---

You tried to show him that you were not scared of his arm just about half an hour later after you had gotten out of the shower and found him making breakfast in the kitchen. Since the two of you had a date at a current exhibition at the local museum planned for the day Bucky was preparing a quick breakfast, cutting some fruit up, and setting the table with all the things he knew you liked. He was currently cutting up an apple into slices when you entered, his back turned to the door, and you quietly made your way toward him before draping yourself across his back though you still made sure to make enough noise so that he would hear you approach and wouldn’t be startled.

“Thank you for preparing something to eat.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek before you moved around and embraced his left arm, leaning your head against the metallic shoulder of it. “What do you say? Should we bring lunch with us or should we try to find a place to eat while we’re out?”

Bucky froze a little as you leaned into his vibranium arm and quickly turned around, leaning against the counter, subtly but effectively turning the arm away from you with his right side now facing you. “I say we go find something while we’re out.”

“Are you looking forward to the exhibition?” You asked with a smile, trying to ignore his actions so as to not make him uncomfortable. “I know you’ve been very interested in space travel lately.”

“Can you blame me?” Bucky joked, returning your smile. “I recently learned about how much further we have come in terms of space travel in the last decades. It’s really amazing, I have to say.”

“I’m not blaming you at all. I’m really interested in it, too, and I think your interest in science is really charming.” With another small kiss on his cheek, you moved away to sit down at the table. “Your excitement about it is quite frankly adorable.”

“Adorable?” Bucky chuckled as he sat down opposite you. “I am far from adorable.”

“I’d beg to differ. When you smile in amazement at a piece in the museum or your eyes light up when you get to listen to someone’s stories of space travel you’re so sweet that I can barely handle it.”

“What can I say? I’ve always been interested in science, even back in the fourties.” Bucky smiled softly as he began to eat. “Steve and I would go to science fairs, exhibitions, and museums all the time.”

“Tell me more about that, please.”

---

You hoped the museum would give you more opportunities to show Bucky that you were not afraid of his vibranium arm, planning on trying to hold his left hand or onto his arm. Unfortunately, you found that you never got the right opportunity to hold onto his arm because you never stood in one spot long enough to cuddle up to him and you never had the chance to hold his left hand because he kept the guide to the exhibition clutched in that one. You resigned to try again later and simply enjoyed your date with your boyfriend, smiling at his excitement and interest, reading all the informational signs, and looking out for the things you had encountered on the few space missions you had been on.

“Can you believe we’ve been in one of these before in actual space?” Bucky asked as you made your way through the recreated interior of a space ship and you knew that he was referring to your latest mission where the two of you had set out on a spaceship to an old abandoned space station where you had been getting important documents from. “It’s amazing when you think of it.”

“What a coincidence. I had the exact same thought just a few seconds ago.” You grinned as you turned to him. “It always seems unbelievable to me.”

“I honestly find it hard to believe, too, but I have encountered many unbelievable things in the past few years.” Bucky mused with a small smile, looking back at you. “Want to continue on? The next room is a display of our galaxy.”

“Let’s go.”

The two of you entered the next room, a big hall that had holograms of all the planets in the known galaxy projected above the visitors who were able to circle the model of the sun placed in the middle of the exhibit on a metal walkway. You and Bucky walked on the metal walkway, looking at the display, stopping next to the hologram of Earth and looking up as the voiceover talked about the newly discovered planets in the galaxy. Gingerly you reached out to grab Bucky’s left hand, squeezing it with yours as you leaned into his side a little.

As soon as your fingers closed around his, Bucky pulled his hand back and rounded your body. You watched his movements with a small frown but you couldn’t help but smile softly as he held out his right hand to you, flexing his finger in invitation and you took his hand, holding it tightly as you once more leaned into his side, wanting nothing more than to be close to him. But Bucky seemed to have caught your frown because he sighed softly, keeping his eyes firmly on the exhibit as he spoke.

“Sorry, Sweetheart.” He whispered. “I’d rather you hold my flesh hand.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for.” You said softly, deciding against speaking up on his worries so as to not ruin the date for him. “I simply want you to be comfortable.”

Bucky was quiet for a few seconds before he changed the topic. “Do you like the exhibition? I think it’s really interesting to learn about all the ways space travel has changed and hear about the new planets we’ve made contact with.”

“It really is.” You agreed, going with his change in topic and offering him a playful smile. “And I enjoy seeing you so invested and excited about something. You can be such a nerd and I love it.”

“And you’re any better?” He teased right back, giving you a sly smirk. “You’ve read every informational sign there was to read.”

“I’ve never said I wasn’t just as big of a nerd.” You chuckled, leaning your head onto his shoulder. “That’s why we get along so well.”

Bucky smiled and pulled you into a gentle kiss, his right hand settling on the small of your back as he leaned into you. All you could do was reciprocate, your eyes fluttering shut just as his did. He pulled back all too soon but he kept his forehead leaning against yours as he sighed softly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you just as much.”

---

It was three days later that you noticed how big Bucky’s concerns were once more. He still took his arm off when you slept in bed with him and avoided having you hold his left hand every time but you really saw his fears when the two of you shared an intimate moment. You were in Bucky’s lap, his right hand on your hip, guiding your movements. His face was buried at your neck, nipping and kissing the flesh there as you held onto him. His hand tightened on your hip and the metal one clenched the headboard behind him.

You moved your hands from his shoulders, intending on trailing them down his body but as you took them off him you lost your balance and tipped backward. Bucky reacted quickly and brought his left hand around you to catch your fall, holding you up by your upper back, stopping his previous movements, and looking at you in worry. Tipping backwards so suddenly startled you and you gasped in surprise. And just as you did Bucky froze, eyes going wide in what you could only describe as horrified guilt as he pulled away his left hand, switching it with his right to pull you back into a sitting position.

When he was sure you wouldn’t lose your balance again he pulled back all together, gently coaxing you off him and physically withdrawing from you, face scrunching up in concern. You got to your knees, getting closer to him again, feeling worry rise in you at his actions. While you knew he held back from touching you with his metal arm this extreme of a reaction to accidentally touching you with it was concerning. But before you could speak he did.

“I am so sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I am so sorry that I hurt you.” Bucky explained quickly, getting to his knees and placing his right hand on your shoulder to turn your upper body around so he could see your back. “All I could think of was not letting you fall. I didn’t think this through and I-- I caught you with the vibranium arm and-- and now I’ve hurt you.”

You were quick to get onto your knees and bring your hands to his shoulders, making him look at you. “Bucky, I’m fine, I swear. You didn’t hurt me at all, I promise.”

“But you gasped. It sounded like I hurt you when I caught you.”

“Bucky, you didn’t hurt me.” You assured him, looking at him in earnest. “I gasped because I was surprised at falling. If anything, you caught me and probably stopped me from actually getting hurt. You did not hurt me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” You assured him and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to his temple. “You could never hurt me.”

Bucky opened his mouth but then closed it again, deciding to remain quiet and instead simply drew you close to him, bringing his right arm up to hold you sightly. You had a suspicion about what he had been planning to say but you said nothing and simply wrapped your arms around him, climbing into his lap to cradle his head to your shoulder and Bucky took a deep breath before he spoke again.

“Can we simply cuddle tonight?”

“Of course, we can.”

“I’m sorry for ruining--”

“I’m not even going to let you finish that sentence.” You interrupted, keeping your voice gentle. “You haven’t ruined anything and you could never ruin anything by not wanting to sleep with me or needing to stop in the middle of sex. Do you understand?”

He nodded against your shoulder. “I understand.”

“How about we cuddle up under the blankets and simply watch a movie?”

“Depends.” Bucky drew back to give you a playful smile and that was enough to ease your worries a little bit. “Will there be popcorn?”

“Of course.”

---

Bucky’s terrified reaction to thinking he had accidentally hurt you didn’t leave your mind for days. You made sure to assure him that you felt absolutely safe with him and eventually he started to relax again. Your routine continued as usual until, after a small mission, Sam came over for a visit to celebrate everyone’s safe return. The three of you had eventually ended up watching a movie on your sofa after dinner -- one that Sam had suggested because Bucky hadn’t seen it, yet.

As the movie went on you inched closer to Bucky, wanting to be close to him after a rather hard mission. So while he was engrossed by the movie you reached out to lift his left arm up and put it around your shoulders. It took Bucky a few seconds to react and he moved his arm away from you, resting it on the back of the sofa before looking at you.

“Would you mind switching sides with Sam?” Bucky asked softly, a frown on his face as he looked at you. “Then I can hold you all evening, Doll.”

You looked at him for a second, worry overtaking you as you once more saw how worried he was about touching you with his vibranium arm. “I don’t mind staying on your left, Love.”

“Sweetheart, I’d be more comfortable if you moved to my right side.” Bucky explained quietly before turning to Sam. “You wouldn’t mind switching sides, right?”

Sam’s worried eyes locked with yours for a second before he looked back at Bucky. “Of course not.”

With that, he stood and the two of you switched sides, Sam on Bucky’s left now and you on his right. Bucky extended his right arm and you gave him a soft smile before leaning into him, embracing him as he pulled you close to his side. The three of you continued to watch the movie but all you could think about was how worried Bucky still was about touching you with his metal arm and wondering how you could prove to him that he didn’t have to be. When the move was over and Bucky left to put the dishes away you couldn’t help but speak to Sam about it, wanting to hear someone else’s thoughts on this whole situation.

“How do I help him with that?”

“With the dishes?”

“No.” You rolled your eyes a little, annoyed by him not immediately understanding the issue but also somewhat understanding the miscommunication. “I mean how do I help him with how scared he is to touch me with his metal arm? It seems like he’s scared to hurt me with it.”

Sam looked at the door to the kitchen before nodding. “Now that you say it he really seems a little concerned about it.”

“He is more than a little concerned, Sam.” You said, sounding more worried by the second. “He keeps me exclusively to his right side, he won’t touch me with his left hand and he panics whenever he accidentally does so.”

“Really?”

“Last week he caught me with his left arm and went into a downright panic, apologising for hurting me multiple times.” You recounted the event that was still present in your mind before sighing. “I really want to help him see that I am not afraid of him hurting me and that I trust him completely but I don’t know how. Do I just tell him? Do I show him? How do I show him?”

Sam thought for a few seconds before sighing softly. “I would continue doing what you’re already doing -- telling him you don’t mind him touching you with it, showing him that you trust him and just reassuring him when he overthinks.”

“You think that will be enough?”

“He’s made such great progress and you helped him with that. I can’t remember the last time he was so relaxed and smiling so much.” Sam reassured you with a soft smile. “You help him a lot.”

“I just worry about him.”

“I think that he’s spent so long thinking of his arm as nothing but a weapon -- even after he got the vibranium one -- that it will simply take him some time to realise that it’s not inherently dangerous.”

His words got you thinking for a few seconds before you nodded. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Of course, you should respect it if he feels more comfortable not touching you with his left arm, but you could always simply talk to him. If you think bringing this up will help, then sit down with him, tell him that you feel absolutely safe with him, and reassure him.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“Anytime.”

“What are you two talking about?” Bucky asked as he walked back into the room, chuckling a little as you and Sam turned around in perfect unison. “That synchronised head turn is pretty creepy, you know?”

“Should we stand at the end of a hallway like the twins in The Shining?”

Bucky gave you a questioning look. “I don’t think I’ve seen that movie before.”

“We could watch it right now.” Sam exclaimed before smiling a little as he came up with a quick excuse as to what you two had been talking about. “We were actually just wondering what movie to watch next.”

“Then let’s watch that movie.” Bucky said and sat back down, pulling you close to him. “It’s a horror movie, I assume from context, right? Won’t it scare you, Doll?”

You chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Horror movies don’t scare me. Besides, they are nothing compared to the bad guys we fight on a daily basis.”

“Will you get scared?” Sam grinned at Bucky, giving him a teasing look. “If you end up scared in your partner’s lap, I will laugh at you. I hope you know that.”

“I don’t get scared that easily.”

“We shall see.”

---

After your talk with Sam and deciding you should speak to Bucky about his fears, you waited for the right time to do so but when it never seemed like the appropriate moment, you sat down next to him on the bed one quiet evening. The slight drizzle outside had forced you to stay in that day and Bucky was reading on the bed when you came inside. He looked up from his book to give you a small smile but when he saw your serious expression he put it down and sat up properly.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

“Can I talk to you?”

“You can talk to me about literally anything.”

You nodded and sat down on the bed next to him. “I’m gonna say it straight out because I don’t want to beat around the bush and honestly, I’m unsure of how to approach this subject. I realised that you are worried or afraid to touch me with your vibranium arm and I need you to know that I am not scared of it or worried you’ll hurt me with it.”

Bucky looked at you for almost a full minute before he seemed to have concluded what to say. “Doll, I really appreciate you telling me that you’re not afraid of-- of my arm and that you’re speaking up on this because you worry about me but I-- I know how strong and destructive this arm is. It was built as a weapon.”

“But it no longer is. You use it to help people, to protect them. I just-- I mean, just on the last mission we were on you saved a whole elevator full of innocent civilians by holding it up until they could be evacuated.” You tried to reason. “I know it’s hard for you to believe and I understand that.”

“It’s hard to realise that. I know that I help innocent people and I know that what happened to me wasn’t my fault, trust me. After everything that happened, I’ve learned that.” Bucky said before sighing deeply, taking your hand into his right one. “But that doesn’t change the fact that objectively speaking the arm was designed to be a weapon, that it’s capable of terrible things and could hurt you even if I don’t want to.”

“Anyone is capable of hurting people, metal arm or not, James.”

“It was designed as a weapon.” Bucky repeated and you realised how mentally caught up he was on that fact. “A gun is still dangerous even if it’s not inherently bad.”

You were quiet for a second, gaze dropping to his vibranium arm. “The arm you have now wasn’t designed as a weapon, though. You got it in Wakanda, not at a Hydra base. The scientists there gave it to you because they trust you not to hurt anyone.”

“Yet they put in a mechanism that allowed them to detach it with the press of a button.” Bucky said, eyes dropping and tearing up just slightly. “And I don’t blame them for not trusting me completely.”

“I do.” You said in earnest, squeezing his hand with both of yours. “I trust you blindly, James. Please try to believe me that I trust you completely.”

Bucky looked up at that, teary eyes meeting yours before he pulled his hand away to wrap around your shoulders and pull you into a tight embrace, burying his face at your shoulder. You quickly hugged him back, bringing a hand up to cradle his head.

“Thank you, Love. Your trust means the world to me.” Bucky whispered into your shoulder, voice tight with emotions. “But I still know that the arm could potentially harm you and I mean-- I would feel better if I weren’t touching you with it.”

“That’s alright.” You said softly, holding him tightly. “Whatever you need is alright. I just noticed how scared you were and I wanted you to know that I trust you.”

“Thank you.”

---

A new mission coming along shoved all your remaining worries to the back of your mind. Now infiltrating a base of previous HYDRA agents to retrieve secret files was not an easy task but you and Bucky had encountered hurdles far bigger and together you had always managed to overcome them. It took a while but eventually, you two were rushing to your getaway car, dodging bullets from the former agents while you kept the files safely clutched against your chest.

Bucky threw open the car door and got inside while you slid across the hood of it to get to the passenger side. Once you were inside, he hit the gas and took off, tires screeching against the concrete and you gripped the back of the seat to keep yourself steady as he swerved around a building to get away from the abandoned warehouse the former agents had holed up in. As you buckled up he turned to you for a second.

“You okay, Doll? No injuries?”

“I’m fine. How about you?”

“Me, too. Let’s get out of here.”

But before you could there was a loud bang from underneath the car and before you knew what was happening the vehicle flipped over. Everything went by in a blur. The car landed on the roof and when you opened your eyes again you found yourself hanging upside down from your seat. Bucky unbuckled himself and was at your side in an instant, worry etched on his face.

“Are you alright?”

“Mostly fine. What happened?”

“I think they threw a bomb underneath the car. I know I did it once back under HYDRA’s control and the whole car flipped over like ours did.”

You were about to answer when a shot was fired at the car and pierced through the back window before the bullet lodged itself in the back of your seat’s fabric. Bucky pulled out his gun and you tried to free yourself from the seatbelt just to realise that its mechanism had been damaged in the crash, leaving you unable to unbuckle it. Anything you could have used to cut yourself free was out of reach and so was your gun. Panic rose in you as you turned to look out the window to find one of the agents approaching your getaway car with a rifle in their hand.

They aimed at your head and fired. Fully expecting to be hit you turned your head away, not able to move much due to the seat belt still holding you relatively in place. You knew that even if you moved your upper body, the agent would still be able to hit you if they just slightly readjusted their aim, so you closed your eyes in anticipation. Then suddenly a metallic clang echoed through the car and when you looked back toward the window you found your sight obstructed by Bucky’s vibranium arm.

He had blocked the bullet with it. He had saved your life.

Then he fired at the agent that had shot at you, sending them to the floor. Quickly, he used the vibranium arm to yank your seatbelt from where it was fastened to the car and free you. Once out from your confinement, you grabbed your gun and helped him shoot at the agents to take them out.

And soon enough, all of them were down just in time for your backup to arrive. Both of you were quickly helped into the other car and then you were off on your way, Bucky sitting next to you in the back of the SHIELD van. When the van had started driving off and you two knew you were safe, Bucky turned to you.

“Are you injured, Love? They didn’t hit you, did they?”

“No, they didn’t.” You said, taking his left hand into yours and before he could pull it back you shook your head, speaking up again. “You saved me. You say the arm was designed as a weapon but today it saved my life.”

Bucky looked at you for what felt like forever but was realistically not more than about a minute before his vibranium hand squeezed around yours, eliciting a small smile from you. He was slowly realising that his arm was more than a weapon and seeing that it had the potential to protect the ones he loved. You knew that holding your hand was a small step forward but it still meant moving in the right direction.

“Thank you for saving my life, James.”

“I would always save you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

---

A few hours later found you and Bucky at your place, reclining on your bed and watching a movie on your laptop. Bucky was still working off his list of things he had missed, the idea having been something he’d picked up from Steve a few years earlier, and this evening you two had decided to watch a movie that he had yet to see. The blanket was draped over the two of you and Bucky’s right hand was settled on your hip, thumb gently rubbing your skin. With the adrenaline of the mission wearing off, Bucky right next to you, and the sun setting outside you felt your eyelids growing heavy. The movements of your left hand that had been running up and down his right arm were faltering now and again. Your head kept drifting onto Bucky’s shoulder before you brought it back up to watch the movie.

But eventually, your exhaustion combined with his gentle ministrations made you drift off, head coming down to rest on his shoulder and body snuggling into his side. Had you not been so exhausted from the fight you would have noticed that your head had fallen onto Bucky’s left shoulder, left hand coming up to wrap around his biceps.

You were awoken a few minutes later by a loud noise coming from the television, immediately followed by Bucky quietly swearing and the volume being turned off. Blinking your eyes open, you turned your head to look up at him and he gave you an apologetic smile.

“Go back to sleep, Doll. I turned the volume down. You can rest.”

With another soft smile you snuggled back up to him, your cheek smushed against the cool vibranium of his left arm and your hand once more holding onto his biceps. It was a few seconds later that you realised you were holding onto his left arm and you tilted your head up to look at Bucky. When he saw your head turning he examined your face, taking in your thoughtful expression.

“What are you thinking about, Doll?”

“I’m leaning against your left arm.” You whispered, running a finger up the biceps of said arm. “Is this really alright for you? As I said, I’m not afraid of you hurting me and I trust you completely, but I know that you don’t really like touching me with it and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You were right, earlier in the van.” He said softly, eyes flicking to the window so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact. “Had it not been for my vibranium arm, you might not be here right now. And it made me think about all the things you’ve said about the arm beforehand.”

“How so?”

“The arm was meant to be a weapon, the one from Hydra most definitely, and even the one I got in Wakanda had the potential to be used as one. But you were right about it not being used as one anymore, or at least not outside of fighting bad guys.” Bucky concluded, eyes flickering to your face once before focusing back on the window. “It helped me save you and it helped me save many others before.”

“I’m glad you’re starting to see your arm as something other than a weapon.”

Bucky turned back to look at you before resting his cheek against your head. “It’s something that’s been ingrained in my brain for a long time, though, so please give me time, and don’t be upset if I’m ever withdrawing from you or afraid to touch you.”

“I would never be upset with you for that, James. Why would you even think that?”

“Because you always get so sad when I talk negatively about myself or the arm.”

“That’s not because I’m upset with you. I understand that it’s hard to see a part of yourself that others have misused as a weapon as anything but that. When you say things like that it makes me hurt for you.” You explained softly, bringing a hand up to cup the cheek that wasn’t smushed against your head. “And I know you don’t like people pitying you but that’s not what I’m doing. I love you and I hate seeing you in any sort of distress.”

“I’m doing much better now.” Bucky promised quietly. “I mean, I’m far from fine and I still have nightmares and fears and the like, but I’m so much better than I was before and I will get better in the future. So please don’t worry about me too much, Doll.”

“James, take one look at me and tell me that you think I’d be able to not worry about you.” You joked, earning a small laugh from him. “You know me too well for that.”

Smirking a little at your joke, Bucky reached out to turn the movie off and flicked the switch on the bedside lamp. “Still, please try not to be too concerned. You’re helping me an awful lot, I hope you know that.”

“And I hope you know that every step you take in your recovery, no matter how small it might seem, is something you can be proud of. I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come.” You closed your eyes then, cuddling up to him. “And I trust you with all my heart.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. That’s on you for being trustworthy.” You whispered. “But is it physically uncomfortable to keep the arm on while sleeping?”

“No, with the new one, it’s not. The old metal one was heavier and could get uncomfortable but this one is fine.” Bucky said with a smile before kissing your head as you snuggled closer to his side, your head moving to rest on the junction between his vibranium arm and his shoulder, allowing him to wrap his left arm around you. “Thank you for everything, Love. I love you so much.”

“Right back at you, Sweetheart. I love you just as much.”

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #fanfiction #writing #textpost #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfawts #sam wilson

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mojiitoos · 7 months

Text

Bucky : “I feel like we're starting to lose the ''b'' in our «bromance», bro.”

*Sam, pausing from kissing Bucky's neck* : “Hmph?”

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deliciousangelfestival · 2 months

Text

Underworld Insomnia || 1 - B.Barnes

Character : Bucky × Psychiatrist Female!Reader

Summary: As a ruthless contract killer, Bucky is feared in the underworld of criminals. His opponents freeze when they see him, as he is feared among them. However, they don't know that he could be warm to only one person: his pshychiatrist. The only person who could make him fall asleep.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , -

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Please let me know what your thoughts are. I'd love to hear your feedback. Thank you once again.

In the world of secret societies for underground criminals, there's a secret place for criminals to stay, a shop for criminals to buy their weapons, basically, criminals live like normal people but they can only go to places that are built for criminals.

That's the rule.

There's also a particular psychiatrist for criminals only. Since many of the criminals have demons in their minds.

For this job, Dr. Ben is the only person the criminals could go to and ask for advice and medicine so they could go to sleep. Most of them can sleep.

But the only person who has trouble is Bucky Barnes.

His name is enough to make everyone in the underworld shiver. His eyes are enough to make his opponents freeze.

Bucky is their answer if anyone wants a job done without any mistakes.

With the money from the job he finished, he could have a comfortable life for generations. But he doesn't need it because all he wants right now is to sleep.

"I tried what you told me. Work out until I'm tired, learn something new, clean all my weapons, upgrade my car, renovate my house with bulletproofing, sex," Bucky said while he lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling.

Dr. Ben kept writing while listening to his patient.

"I even went to pottery class, baking class, painting class, and sex," Bucky counted on his fingers.

"Still. Nothing works. I still can't sleep. It's been 7 years," Bucky said.

Dr. Ben, who kept writing, replied, "Yeah, you have mentioned sex multiple times."

"White noise, pink noise. In the end, I smashed the Bluetooth speaker. None of your methods work," Bucky said as he sat up and glared at Dr. Ben.

Dr. Ben adjusted his reading glasses. He remained calm, probably one of the few people not afraid even though Bucky was angry.

He clicked his pen and put the report on the table.

"Do you want to try reading fairy tale books?" Dr. Ben asked.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you joking with me?"

Dr. Ben replied, "Most of you people have a shitty childhood. Have shitty parents. Perhaps deep down, your kind wants something related to fulfilling your inner child."

Bucky exclaimed, "Woah, doctor, calm down. You're brutally honest here." He sighed, because he knew this method will failed like the rest. "Fine. I'll try." Then he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.

Dr. Ben picked a children's book and started to read, he flipped through the pages, and began to read aloud, "Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy."

"Timothy was no ordinary mouse," Dr. Ben continued, "for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."

"Stop. Stop. It's so weird listening to you. Get someone else," Bucky interrupted, feeling uncomfortable.

Dr. Ben closed the book. "I'll get my apprentice."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You've got a new one?" He knew that none of Dr. Ben's employees stayed that long, given the fear of criminals who kept coming for therapy.

Dr. Ben adjusted his glasses. "She could tame Bruce Banner; I think she could do the same to you."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Dr. Ben got up from his seat and opened his office door. "Y/N, help me for a bit," he called out.

Bucky heard a melodious voice respond, "Yes?"

The door swung open, revealing a woman with a confident stride and a calm demeanor. She had striking eyes that seemed to hold a depth of understanding, framed by a cascade of dark hair that fell gracefully around her shoulders.

Her posture exuded poise and assurance, hinting at a quiet strength within. She carried herself in professional attire with an air of authority, yet there was warmth in her expression as she met Bucky's gaze.

As you approach your boss, he suddenly puts a children's book in your hand.

You look at him, puzzled. "Huh?"

Dr. Ben pointed at Bucky and explained, "This person can't sleep for years. So I want to see if reading a children's story could make him fall asleep."

Bucky huffs in frustration. As a top assassin in the underworld, it's humiliating if he can only fall asleep with a children's book. "Just do it."

You flinch, knowing the man in front of you is dangerous.

Dr. Ben pats your shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, he's just cranky. I'll be here too. I need to see if it's working or not."

"Okay," you respond, then sit in the chair near Bucky's couch.

Before opening the book, you can't help but notice the tattoos on his neck and hands.

"Are you done staring?" Bucky asks, irritation evident in his voice.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry," you apologize quickly. "I'll start reading. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy. Timothy was no ordinary mouse, for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."

As you continue reading, Bucky listens intently, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he tries to relax.

"Despite his small size," you continue, "Timothy dreamed of embarking on great adventures and proving himself to be the bravest mouse in all the land."

Bucky's tense expression begins to soften slightly as he listens to the soothing cadence of your voice.

"One day," you narrate, "a fierce dragon threatened the kingdom, causing panic among the inhabitants. But Timothy, undeterred by the danger, volunteered to confront the dragon and save his home."

Bucky's breathing starts to slow down as he gets engrossed in the tale, his earlier restlessness fading away.

"With unwavering courage," you go on, "Timothy faced the dragon, armed only with his wits and determination. And through his bravery and quick thinking, he managed to outsmart the fearsome beast and bring peace back to the kingdom."

As you reach the end of the story, Bucky's eyes grow heavy, and he finally begins to drift off to sleep, a sense of calm settling over him.

Dr. Ben watches silently, nodding in approval as he sees the story's effect on Bucky. It seems that, perhaps, there is power in the simplest of tales to soothe even the most troubled minds.

Bucky's eyes felt heavy. The childish story and your calm voice made him feel relaxed. Your voice seemed more effective than white noise in soothing his troubled mind. As he listened, the tension in his muscles gradually melted away, replaced by a sense of peace and tranquility.

Then Bucky opened his eyes, only to realize he wasn't in the same place in Dr. Ben's office anymore. He found himself on a bed inside an unknown room. Panic surged through him.

Had he been kidnapped?

It would bring shame to his name as the feared killer if true.

As he processed his surroundings, Bucky's hand instinctively went for his knife, ready to defend himself. But soon, he recognized the familiar surroundings of Dr. Ben's building. Relief washed over him, though he remained on edge.

A door creaked open, causing Bucky to tense, his grip tightening on the knife. But to his surprise, it was just Dr. Ben.

"Did you have a good sleep?" Dr. Ben asked calmly.

Bucky clicked his tongue in annoyance and massaged his shoulder. "No. Your methods didn't work. I'm still tired."

"Well, that's natural since you've been asleep for three days," Dr. Ben replied matter-of-factly.

Three days?!

He can't believe it, since he has only been able to sleep for one hour each night for the past seven years. Bucky's eyes widened in disbelief as he checked his phone, seeing the date and numerous missed calls and unread messages.

"It worked?" he muttered, incredulous. He had been able to sleep and hadn't even realized it.

Bucky's amazement lingered as he realized that he had slept for three whole days without even being aware of it. It was a stark contrast to the years of insomnia he had endured, struggling to find even a moment of rest.

The tension that had plagued his body for so long began to ebb away, replaced by a newfound sense of calmness and clarity. He couldn't deny the relief that washed over him, knowing that perhaps, just perhaps, there was hope for him yet.

Then, there was a knock on the door. It was you.

"How is he, doctor? Is he still asleep?" you asked, but you gasped when Bucky's intense gaze met yours.

Was he angry? Did he blame you for making him sleep for three days?

"Y/N, is it?" Bucky inquired.

You responded groggily, "Yes?"

Bucky got on his knees, his right hand resting on his left chest and his left hand reaching for you. He looked at you earnestly and asked, "Will you work for me?"

You were taken aback, as was Dr. Ben. Bucky's unexpected gesture felt like it could lead to a significant misunderstanding, resembling a proposal rather than a job offer.

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geeky-politics-46 · 15 days

Note

"Q" for bucky barnes pls & thank ☺️

- @buckymorelikefuckme

I was really hoping for some Bucky asks! I don't write for him near as much as I would like to.

Q - Quiet please (what’s the volume like in the bedroom? are they quiet? do they scream? do they like a loud partner? do they prefer if their partner is more soft spoken?)

Bucky was never loud in bed before, but now, after everything he's been through, he enjoys making noise. He likes just letting go and not holding anything back. Whining and moaning to show you how good you're making him feel. Lots of cursing and pet names. He will even moan and swear when he's going down on you to show you just how much he is enjoying himself. He's discovered he really likes a bit of dirty talk. He loves telling you all the filthy things he wants to do to you. Giving you praise that's both sweet and naughty.

"Fuck babydoll, I couldn't stop thinking about your perfect pussy. Swear I've been hard since our last date."

"You have no idea what you do to me. I'm never letting you out of my bed again. You feel like you were made to take my cock."

He loves hearing you whimper, and he swears he's never heard a prettier sound than you moaning his name. Especially when you switch from calling him Bucky to calling him James. That's how he knows he's got you right on the edge of cumming. He never wants anyone to call him James ever again because he only wants to here you say it in that breathy way you do when he's pounding into you. He loves when he can make you actually scream his name loud enough that Steve has to come knock on the door telling you to be quiet because he can't sleep with the noise. It's at this point that Bucky loves to tease you that Steve actually just wants you to be quiet because your pretty little noises have gotten him hard and he hates that you aren't screaming his name instead. He'll tell you you're such a good girl for letting his best friend hear how naughty you are. That maybe you two should let Steve watch. When he feels you clench around his cock at that suggestion he'll growl and tease you even more about how needy you are.

Steve has asked Stark to soundproof Bucky's room multiple times to no avail, Bucky just sees that as a challenge and tries to make you scream louder. Tony thinks it's funny.

Picked this gif because you know he would play innocent to the noise complaints in front of everyone at first. Then back to trying to make you even louder behind closed doors.

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preciousbarnes · 10 months

Text

Here When I Wake

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Tags: Winter Soldier-ish!Bucky, Memory Loss, mentions of violence, comfort, fluff, Sam being a good friend

There’s a gentle breeze flowing into your small Brooklyn apartment from the open windows. The sun is setting in the west, illuminating the sky in shades of pinks and purples. The fading sunlight matches the dim vibe within the apartment, only illuminated by a couple lamps and some candles placed strategically on shelves, where Alpine couldn’t knock them down.

The light sound of an old jazz record from Bucky’s collection plays softly as you sway in the living room to the melodic tunes. It’s a peaceful evening; just you and Alpine together in the kitchen, as she always loved keeping you company when you were cooking.

You lose yourself in the repetition of cooking your favorite dish, before being interrupted by the sound of your cellphone ringing and vibrating on the kitchen counter. You pick up your phone and are surprised to see who is calling, Bucky’s partner, Sam.

“Sam?” You ask, confusion clear in your voice upon greeting him.

“Hey, listen, where are you?” Sam inquires urgently over the phone, out of breath and sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

“Um, home? In Buck and I’s apartment? Why?” You question, becoming more confused as you also feel concern creeping up on you. Why was Sam calling? He never called you.

“Something happened on the mission. Bucky experienced a head injury, and was triggered somehow. He’s not himself right now. We lost track of him outside of Manhattan. Stay where you are. I’m on my way to you now. We’re hoping maybe you can help us.” He explains quickly. You hear the sound of a car roaring to life before the line quickly drops off.

Your phone falls from you hand, hitting the floor. He wasn’t himself, which could only mean one thing. He wasn’t him. The winter soldier was back, and there’s no telling what he’s after, or what danger he’s getting himself into. You make quick work of finishing the dinner dish you had planned to share with Bucky, moving it to a storage container to save since having lost your appetite. There was no way you could eat right now when your stomach is a ball of nerves.

You’re washing up the dishes as a welcomed distraction when you suddenly get the feeling of eyes on you. It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, and your hands slightly tremble. Bucky always warned you about closing those damn windows that led to the fire escape.

You gently place the pan you were scrubbing back into the water, opting to grab the large kitchen knife out of the water before taking a deep breath and abruptly turning around.

You gasp, surprised at who is here. It’s Bucky, sitting in the shadows of your apartment, having blown out the candles and now his figure was barely lit by the one lamp on the stand next to your loveseat he was sat on. His eyes appraise you, glancing at the knife held tightly in your hand.

“You’re my mission” he says, his voice with a slight Russian accent you are not used to.

“Bucky? What’s going on?” You ask him, hesitantly after hearing him utter the word ‘mission’.

Bucky cocks his head to the side, his eyes taking in how you’ve relaxed since seeing him.

“Who is Bucky?” His voice huskily asks.

You swallow dryly, unsure of what to say or how to proceed. You set the knife back down into the dish water, grabbing a dish towel to dry your damp hands. His eyes never leave you, watching your every move. You don’t feel in danger of the man, knowing that if he wanted you dead in this state he could have killed you without you seeing it coming.

You turn back and slowly approach Bucky, before asking to sit next to him. He looks confused at your request.

“I’m an asset, why are you asking me?” He asks you, voice soft but showing his confusion.

“Here you always have choices. You can say no. Your comfort matters.” You explain to him, swallowing down emotions as you think of the times Bucky was tortured and treated horribly, given no choices or options.

He looks skeptical, but nods regardless, motioning for you to sit down with him. You sit down next to him gently, leaving a comfortable space between you both. As you take in his tense form, you notice blood on his dark pants, saturating one leg fully. You let out a gasp, reaching for him.

“What happened to your leg?” You ask quickly, moving to assess an injury before Bucky moves to the side out of your reach.

“Not my blood,” he explains, voice taking on a dark tone.

You look at his stony expression and dark eyes, nervous to ask but knowing you need to.

“Whose blood, then?” You ask softly, nerves tilting your voice.

“The targets. They were coming here for you. Had to stop them. They have been eliminated.” He explains, voice steely and darkened.

“You said I’m your mission. What do you mean?” You ask softly.

“Must protect you at all costs,” he explains, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why?” you probe, trying to understand.

“I don’t know. All I remember is fighting, getting a bad hit to the head, and then these men mentioned this address and your name. I knew I had to get here. I had to keep you safe.” Bucky tells you, openly.

You give Bucky a small smile, getting ready to thank him, before Bucky is jumping to his feet and grabbing your hands to pull you into a standing position. He begins to shove you down the hall quickly and into your shared bedroom.

“Huh? Bucky? What’s going on?” Questions fall from your lips as you don’t understand his sudden and urgent movements.

“Someone’s coming, you must hide,” he explains in a hushed voice, as he motions for you to get into your closet so he can shut you in to hide you.

You hear the front door open, and Sam’s voice echoing through the apartment, calling your name. Bucky grabs a knife from his holder and begins stalking his way towards his next target before you quickly grab his arm, trying to pull him back.

“Sam, it’s okay!” You call out, earning a betrayed look from bucky.

“Bucky, Sam is a good guy. On your side. He’s not a threat. He’s a friendly,” you explain softly, hoping he will trust you.

“Sometimes bad people appear good, маленький кролик” he tells you, unsure of Sam and still trying to gently push you back into the closet.

You reach out and grab Bucky’s hand, and reach up with your other hand to gently rest your hand on his jaw. He’s clearly taken by surprise, his eyes wide as they look to your face and then down to the hand gently holding his metal one. It confuses him. No one has ever in his memory regarded him with such softness, and had never volunteered to touch the weapon that is his metal arm.

“I would never lie to you, I promise Sam means no harm. I trust him with my life, and I trust him with yours almost every month when you guys are out on missions together,” your voice is gentle and honest as you hope Bucky will listen and trust you.

As he continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, the door to the bedroom slowly opens, revealing a surprised looking Sam.

Sam slowly steps into the room, holding his hands up to show Bucky he isn’t armed. Bucky quickly turns from you, hiding you effectively behind his back and broad shoulders, shielding you from any potential danger his mind thinks Sam may pose.

“Hey, man. What’s going on?” Sam asks, voice low but calm despite his worried expression as his eyes flicker to yours peeking around Bucky’s expansive frame.

“You were fighting by my side,” Bucky recalls out loud.

“Yes, yes I was. We’re on the same team.” Sam explains, lowering his outstretched hands to rest at his side.

“I’m missing time. I know I am. There are pictures here. Me and her, but I don’t remember. I knew I needed to keep her safe, but I don’t know why. Is it an order?” Bucky asks, sounding confused as his hand not holding the knife reaches up to rub his forehead.

“Is your head hurting?” You softly ask him, reaching up to rub his shoulder gently. Bucky welcomes the touch, surprising himself. He nods in answer to your question, despite himself.

“No, man. You don’t take orders anymore, you make them. We aren’t with hydra. We got you away. You were pardoned for the crimes those people forced you to commit. You help people now. You keep people safe..” Sam explains to Bucky.

“Okay, if all that’s true, it still doesn’t explain her?” Bucky says, moving away from his position of shielding you, instead turning so the three of you can look to each other.

“We’re together, Buck. We have been for a couple years now. We live here in this apartment, together, freely. You’re safe here. You’re safe with us. You’re safe with me,” you tell him, eyes wide as you look to him, longing to pull him into your arms and take away his confusion.

“Why am I missing time? All I remember is hydra. Working for them. The machines they used on me. I don’t remember any of this that you tell me. I remember my head hurting, and fighting next to you, and then knowing I had to get here and protect her.” Bucky questions, eyebrows furrowed and body still tense.

“This has happened in the past before, before you met her. We thought it was a one time thing. We’re now guessing if you take a hit to the head just right, right spot and right force, and this happens. It’ll work itself out after a good nights sleep while you heal. We already have some great scientists who want to help you working on a way to prevent this from happening again, so you don’t keep going through this,” Sam says to you both.

Bucky takes in what Sam said, nodding to himself and looking to you.

“Okay. I don’t know why, but I trust you both. I just need to sleep this off basically?” Bucky questions.

You and Sam both nod.

“Yeah, man. Just sleep it off. I’m going to stay here on the couch in the living room, just in case you need something.” Sam states, looking to you for your approval. You nod your head, reaching to your bed to grab an extra pillow and a blanket for him. Handing these to him, Sam nods in thanks and excuses himself to the living room.

“Well, let’s get you cleaned up” you find yourself saying. Moving to the closet and grabbing out Bucky’s most comfy pair of sweats and a soft t-shirt for him. You grab him a pair of boxers from the dresser quickly and turn back to lead him to the bathroom connected to your bedroom. He silently follows you. During this interaction you notice how purposefully loud in movement Bucky must normally be around you, as the dissociated soldier with you moves with a natural silence to a point it’s almost eerie. But, you think to yourself, that is a necessary part of the job he was tasked with for decades.

You wait in the bedroom after showing Bucky the bathroom and where the towels were. You find yourself lost in thought, once again hating what Bucky has gone through, and how a hit to the head sent him right back, at least partly. Bucky here wasn’t fully the winter soldier, but he wasn’t your Bucky either. Instead he was an odd mixture of the two.

After some minute pass, the bathroom door opens to reveal Bucky, looking cozy as ever in the large sweatpants and stretched out t-shirt you had given him. Even in such basic clothing, he still takes your breath away.

“Where do I sleep?” His husky voice softly questions.

“Here in the bed, I’ll sleep in the guest room sweetheart,” the endearment slips past your lips before you can stop it, making you look away and feel blood rising to your neck and cheeks in embarrassment.

“Please, don’t be embarrassed, маленький кролик. It’s nice, someone being kind to me. And you can sleep, with me, if you’d like. I understand that’s what we normally do, I don’t want you uncomfortable,” Bucky says, voice soft and beginning to become sleepy.

“Okay, if you’re sure that’s alright?” You ask, as you take off your oversized sweater to just leave yourself in your sleep shorts and one of Bucky’s baggy t-shirts.

“It’s fine doll,” a soft smile takes over his features as he walks closer to the bed.

You flip the covers over, climbing in and patting the empty side next to you, motioning for him to join you.

He walks over and sits on the bed next to you, pulling the covers over you both as you reach over and turn the bedside lamp off, leaving you both to get settled in the darkness. A few moments pass in silence as you both get comfortable under the covers

“Can I ask something?” He asks.

“Yeah, Buck?” You ask, turning to him. His features are lit by the moonlight pouring in through the windows.

“Will you be here? When I wake up? Normally when I go to sleep, I lose everything,” he asks you, your heart breaking at the uncertainty on his face.

You reach over and gently stroke his jaw, moving closer to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Of course. I’ll always be here, Buck.” You convey to him with absolute certainty in your voice, calming his fears.

As you find yourself drifting off to sleep, you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead.

“Thank you, маленький кролик”

Translations: маленький кролик - little bunny

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #winter soldier fanfiction #the winter solider x reader #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x you

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fluffysucker · 6 months

Text

Desperate People find faith.

Bucky Barnes x reader

An accident mends your broken heart.

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

I read this amazing oneshot, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. So I added my own twist to it. Thanks to the wonderful writer for sharing it and for inspiring me.

Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Bullets and blood. Mentions of torture but nothing explicit

Main Masterlist

You knew you shouldn't have done it. You should have stayed home. What could barely be described a home. You should have minded your business. You should have acted like the civilian you are now. You shouldn't have done it. But your loyalty to Steve wouldn't have let you

The image of the cheap copy so-called Captain America holding the shield blasting all over the news was a hit. A gut-wrenching hit. There was a guy who was taking the place of your childhood best friend, the man you called brother, the fearless leader. And he looked happy doing so. Then the blond had the audacity to say that Steve felt like a brother to him. You felt physical pain that you almost threw up.

Rationality went out the window. Before you knew any better, you were tracking down the man who was handed your friend's legacy. The man who gave it away when there was nobody more deserving than him. It wasn't hard to know exactly where Sam Wilson was. You were aware he joined the Air Force once again. So you hijacked the location of his next mission, demanding answers.

But it appeared that you weren't the only one who had the same plan. As you were talking to Sam, trying to be as nice as you could, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him you weren't here to judge or pick a fight. You just wanted an explanation. You heard him.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield."

His voice was filled with anger. But you could hear the sadness hidden in his tone. Sam scuffed, walking away from you as well. You turned around and you saw him. The love of your life. Quite literally.

You fail to recall a time you weren't in love with James Buchanan Barnes. Growing up together, your trio was inseparable. You would never see one without the others. From the age of three till your twenties, the three of you were more than family.

Despite loving Steve like the brother you never had, the same couldn't be said about his best friend. Your feelings for the brunette were never platonic. Neither were his. In the second grade, he promised to marry you once he got older. And he did. He kneeled to the ground with a beautiful golden ring for you once he secured a job. It was the easiest yes in your life.

Loving him came to you naturally. Stolen glances. Sweet words. Fast heartbeats. Shy smiles. Gentle touches. You were each other first everything. It was like you were made for each other. Like you were born to love him.

And he was your perfect man. Every woman envied you. Every woman hoped to have someone look at her like he looked at you. Every woman wished for a man who treated her the way he treated you. Every woman prayed for a man to love her that much.

Bucky Barnes was head over heels in love with you. And he made sure he showed it.

You were the luckiest girl.

Up until your luck ran out. War knocked on your door like a hurricane, destroying your life.

You remember the night before Bucky was shipped. When you went home after what couldn't be called a double date at Stark expo. The promises the both of you made. Your dream wedding. Your house. Your family. Your kids. All of it. Your future. And you believed him. You couldn't fathom any alternatives.

So when Steve walked in your tent where you did your job as a journalist, who was asked to cover The Howling Commandos missions and subject their heroism to the public, you knew. The look of utter defeat in his face, his glassy eyes, his red nose, the way he was trying to shrink away in his new huge body, you knew.

Your heart was ripped and broken to pieces. The pain was suffocating. You were drowning. You felt like the world ended. Life stopped.

You don't remember how things went after that. You don't remember if Steve ever said the words to you, but you remember his promise of revenge as he held your sobbing body against his chest.

And he did. He ended Hydra. But it came with a price. Very high. After Steve's sacrifice, life became meaningless. You weren't living. You were barely breathing. You were alone.

So when the government asked you to write the final article about the war, the winning announcement, you were about to turn it down. You found difficulties in everything. Leaving your bed sounded like a tiring task. Eating felt like a punishment. Functioning like a human became a burden.

But you remembered how supportive Bucky was of your career. When every man let women their abandon their dreams, Bucky helped you fight for yours. And he gave his life for this victory. Your fiancée and bestfriend. You owed it to them. To be the one to report the triumph tinted with their effort and blood.

So you put in all your strength and travelled with the small team to write the most important piece of work in your life.

However, only a number of people of the team and the article made it back. You didn't.

On your way back, you were ambushed by unknown soldiers. They took you to unknown quarters. You were so confused until you saw that cursed symbol. They weren't gone. Neither was your fiancée.

And that began a lifetime of torture and pain. They brainwashed Bucky but left you with your memories. So when they threatened to hurt him, you caved and let them do whatever they wanted to you. It was a trap they built for you, and you fell in it every time. They would hurt both of you at the end.

You endured it all. You survived it all. Except the moment they made Bucky look you in the eyes and fight you. They erased you from his mind. You saw the love of your life, and he saw nothing. He looked at you and saw either an enemy or a mission partner. And that was the most painful torture Hydra put you through.

As if this wasn't enough. You had to face a hindrance you never thought of.

After Steve rescued the both of you, after him running away from you, after spending two years making amendments with the government and helping Steve search for him, after the accords and Zemo's predicament, after he remembered you, after Princess Shuri was able to give him back his freedom, after you hugged him as he cried, after you decided to finally have that wedding, Thanos happened.

You believe you did something so terrible in another life, and you were getting punished for it in this life. There was no logical explanation as to why this kept happening to you. Why were you robbed of any chances of happiness. Why did you have to watch your man disappear right after having him back. Why you could only feel ache and misery. Why was the world so cruel.

So you kept your hopes to minimum when Steve came to your shared apartment one night, telling you that they had a plan. You agreed to join them in the time heist, ready to be disappointed.

But the second you saw Bucky standing on the sides with his machine gun, you wanted to cry. You thought it was an illusion, but these blue eyes said something else. Now, you were fighting with a strong drive and purpose.

You thought that was it. Your happy ending. You finally had him. But Steve leaving tore you apart. You were happy for your bestfriend who finally did something for himself. However, you couldn't help but feel sad. At least you and Bucky had each other.

Bucky had another thing in mind. Because, a couple of weeks after Steve leaving, Bucky broke up with. He said he needed to figure himself out and work on his pardon. You understood. But it didn't make it any easier.

So you left, giving him all the space he needed. You hadn't seen or spoken to each other since. At least he is alive. That's what you kept telling yourself to find any sort of comfort or condolence.

So this was the first time you had met. He looked different. He cut his hair. He had a scruff. He was wearing an all black outfit. He had gloves on. He had little bags under his eyes. He looked good overall. That's what mattered to you.

"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam said as he walked with intentions to move away from Bucky.

"This is wrong." Bucky didn't give him the chance as be walked beside Sam, without batting you an eye. You couldn't say that didn't hurt but you followed them anyway.

"Look, I'm working, alright. So all this outrage is going to have to wait." It was clear that Bucky wasn't here to have a civil conversation like you.

"You didn't know this was going to happen?" Bucky accused Sam.

"No, of course I didn't know that was going to happen." Sam was quick to deny Bucky's accusations.

"You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out and call him the new Captain America." This was more directed towards you, following up to your conversation before Bucky cut in.

"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky wasn't going to back down.

"Oh my god. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind. " Sam's sarcastic reply did nothing but annoy Bucky's more.

"Like I told your wife. There is nothing we can do. You just couldn't wait for her to get home." You looked at Sam. It didn't appear to you that he wouldn't know.

"We broke up."

Another wave of pain hit you as you turned to look at Bucky, who was still not looking at you. How easy could he just say it with no emotions at all. You were fighting to get by every day, and he looked like he didn't care.

"What?!" Sam stopped suddenly once he heard Bucky's words, turning to the both of you.

"You,two lovebirds who literally broke laws to be together, broke up?" Sam couldn't believe his ears. He thought you would have gotten married by now. Your love for each other more epic than all the novels he read.

"Were you asked to give it up?" You changed the topic quickly, refusing to answer Sam's question or talk about your tragic love story. It hurt bad enough, and you didn't want to show it.

"Of course not." Sam heard you loud and clear. He also knew your question had pure intentions. You weren't here to offend him.

"Right, great reunion, guys. Be well." Sam turned to walk out, ending this conversation.

"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky was angry, and he was showing it. In the wrong way.

"This is what you aren't going to do. You aren't going to come here in your over extended life and tell me about my rights." Three of you came to a stop.

"It's over." Sam added, looking at you as you came to stand next to Bucky.

"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with."

And you hadn't rest since.

It was, indeed, big thing to deal with.

You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you impulsively followed Sam and Bucky into the plane.

It was a constant mess. The flag smashers. New super soldiers. Karli Morgenthau. Isaiah Bradley. Zemo. Madripoor. Power Broker. And the worst of them all. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. It never ended.

All that chaos was a good distraction. You didn't have time to think about your broken heart nor to think about the current nature of your and Bucky's relationship.

It was complicated and confusing.

You fought very well together. Your combined sets of skills were lethal. Your collective training and ability to work together kicked in when needed. Away from that, the both of you barely talked. You acknowledged each other existence. That's how you would describe it.

However, you couldn't explain why Bucky refused when Raynor asked you and Sam to join them in the session in the police station. Or why he always made sure you stayed at least an arm distance away from Zemo. Or why did he choose to be the Winter Soldier for the night instead of you compromising your identity that you kept a secret all these years. Or why, that day at Madripoor, he almost took multiple bullets for you. Or why whenever John showed up, his hand would always find yours.

You were thankful you didn't have the time to think about all of this because you were sure you would have lost your mind. You barely had your emotions in checks. And there was a lot going on.

Then it all went crushing. You would never forget this day.

You followed Sam and Bucky, running out of the building into the street, only to see the calamity that just occurred.

John Walker stood proud with the blood-tinted shield above the man he just slaughtered.

Instinctively, your hand came up to wrap around Bucky's bicep, looking for any comfort for the both of you. This scene would forever be engraved in your memories.

Three of you gave John some time. You stood outside of the warehouse he was in right now. You knew if you all went angry, the results would be catastrophic.

But it was anyway.

You let Sam do most of the talking. He was the best in this. If anyone could convince John to hand over the shield, it would be him. So you stood and watched. But it appeared that the time you gave John Walker to cool down only drove him more over the edge. So, with the three of telling him to give up the shield, John Walker lost his mind.

It should have been an easy fight. A veteran and an avenger and two super soldiers. It shouldn't be hard. But neither one of the three of you was fighting was the intention to hurt John. Unlike him, John was fighting to kill. With his new powers, he was uncontrollable.

You let out a high-pitched scream once you saw John throw Bucky away, electrocuting his arm, making him lose consciousness. Then you watched as he straddled Sam on the ground. You needed to act quickly.

You groaned as you got up from the floor, looking at the cut in your arm. Nothing too bad. You told yourself as you ran toward John tickling him away from Sam.

It was just you and him, now.

And it was brutal.

You were still trying not to hurt him too much. However, he was unstoppable. So when he figured that he would lose combat with you eventually, he retrieved to other options.

Picking the shield and throwing it at you for it cause a cut in your chest was enough distraction for him to take out the gun he kept in his suit and shot you.

The bullets found their places in your stomach and legs. He aimed for places that you wouldn't recover from. You fell to the ground, coughing blood, feeling the bullets rest so deep in your body.

John walked towards you with the shield. He looked at you. His eyes were showing insanity and rage. He lifted the shield up and hit you in the chest. The pain was like no other. And you knew that was it.

It felt ironic in so many ways. Your bestfriend's shield. The shield that presented all of Steve's values and beliefs. The shield that helped once save your life. Now, it was going to be the weapon to kill you.

Of all the ways you thought you would die in, this wasn't even close. But when was life ever fair to you? At least you would have peace now. Your dying wish was for Bucky to know how much you loved him and how you wanted him to be fine and happy. Because you loved Bucky more than life itself.

You tried to distract yourself from the excruciating pain by counting how many hits of the shield would it take to end you.

You counted two.

You started coughing violently as you felt a weight got lifted off your chest. All your body going numb for seconds.

You saw Bucky was up once again, and he managed to corner John with Sam, trying to break his arm to take away the shield.

You desperately tried to get up and help them, but your whole body was on fire. Why was the serum not working?

A breath escaped you once you heard the sound of bone breaking. Only to realize breathing hurt. Everything hurt so bad.

With cuts on your arms and face, bruises on your ribs, wounds in your chest, bullets in your stomach and legs, you gave up, closing your eyes.

Because of your agonizing pain. You didn't hear Bucky beating the life out of John after taking the shield. He didn't stop until John passed out.

Bucky turned around and saw a sight that came straight out of his worst nightmares. He had seen it too many times. Woke up scared and sweating because of it. A sight that he knew would haunt him more than it already did.

Your lifeless body in a pool of blood.

He took careful steps towards you, praying it would disappear, and this would just be a nightmare of his. But the sound of your faint heartbeats made it real.

"Doll." Bucky got on his knees next to you, holding your motionless body in his arm.

You hissed in pain as you felt a movement that caused all the pain in your body to stir awake again.

"Bucky." Your voice was a whisper. You were too tired to open your eyes, but the feeling of the metal around you was familiar.

"I'm right here, doll." Bucky may not let it show in his voice, but if you opened your eyes, you would see the fear and tears.

"I need you to stay awake, okay. Can you do this for me? Please, stay awake." Bucky never felt this desperate before.

"Help is on the way." The three of you had already arranged with Torres to have an ambulance on stand-by. You had a feeling things would go bad. But not that bad.

"I'm tired." The amount of blood you were losing was making you too dizzy.

"I know, doll. But you will be okay." Bucky didn't care about the blood getting all over him as he pulled you closer to him.

"You will get better. Because you have to." He was saying it more to himself than you.

"I prayed for this." Talking was getting too hard, but you had to tell.

"What did you pray for?" Bucky was doing anything to keep you awake. He needed to listen to your voice.

"To die in your arms."

Bucky felt the tears escape his eyes, falling down freely on his face.

"You aren't dying. You will be okay." You heard it. The shakiness of his voice.

Fighting the great pain you were in, you opened your eyes to look at him. You wanted to see him one last time. This is why you prayed to die in his arms. So his face would be the last thing to see. This voice would be the last thing you heard. His arms the last thing you felt. Your farewell to the cruel world would be with the man who had been your heaven on Earth.

You lifted your arm with a moan of pain before you placed it on his cheek. You needed to say it. You needed it to be your last words.

"I love you, Bucky. I loved you my whole life."

With that, the world went dark.

You didn't get to see the mess that Bucky became as he heard your heartbeats slow down. His screams and desperate calls of your name to wake up.

He was so blinded by pain that he didn't let the paramedics near, protecting your body until he realized who they were. They didn't try to fight him when he insisted on getting in the ambulance with you.

All the time you were in the surgery, Bucky was inconsolable. He didn't care that Sam and Torres saw him as he sobbed, sitting on the floor waiting for anybody to tell you were fine. All he cared about was that he didn't say it back. You could die not knowing how much he loved you. The thought brought new tears to his already puffy red eyes

He prayed to God and anyone that would hear. If you were standing close enough, you would hear him. "Please, don't take her from me." "Please, let her be okay." "Take me instead of her." "She deserves so much better, please."

In his long life that was filled with hardships, torture, and wars, this was the worst pain he ever went through. He could feel his heart twisting and breaking. Every cell in his body was hurting. The emotional pain turning physical.

His eyes were dried up. Cheeks stained with tears. His mind going through all the worst scenarios. None of them he would be able to survive.

He jumped up from the floor when the door opened, and a doctor walked out. His heart was beating a thousand miles a second. All these prayers never leaving his mouth. His last hope.

"She is okay."

Tears of relief fell from his eyes. You survived it. You made it. The doctor talked about your injuries. With medications and the seurm, you would heal properly. Bucky didn't pay attention. His mind focused on one thing. He needed to see you.

After knowing your room's number, Bucky didn't leave your side. The doctor told him it might take a bit for you to wake up, but he didn't mind. He would stay forever.

It wasn't long before you woke up.

You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights. The last thing you remember was the intense pain. It didn't hurt as much now. You just felt so exhausted. You tried to move your hands, only to be blocked.

You looked down to see Bucky holding your hand so tightly and his head resting next to it. You could tell his eyes were swollen and his nose was red. But he looked peaceful sleeping. You missed him so much.

Without much thought, you moved your other free hand to his head, playing with his hair. It felt soft under your fingers. You blamed the serum that made him wake up from such a simple touch.

You smiled softly as you watched him, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing. He looked confused until he saw you.

"You are awake." Bucky got up from the seat next to the bed.

"Are you okay? Are you pain? What hurts? I'm going to call the doctor." He was frantic. He only stopped when you held his metal hand.

"I'm okay, Bucky." You reassured him with a smile.

You repeated it a couple of times before he finally sat back down on the chair. That's when you noticed he was still in his suit that was covered in blood. Your blood.

After he sat down, he looked at your intertwined fingers together and couldn't help the tears.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you moved your thumb gently on his knuckles.

"You scared the life out of me." He answered as he wiped his tears away.

"Though we were used to this, Barnes." You replied playfully, hands still together.

"Not when it comes to you. Never you." Bucky was fast to respond.

"Nothing I haven't been through before." You said it casually. You didn't miss the look in Bucky's eyes. It held too much depth to it. You couldn't put your hand on it

"Is your arm okay? Do you need to get it checked?" Flashbacks were coming back to you bit by a bit. As you touched his metal arm, you remembered what happened to him.

"You are in the hospital bed, and you are asking about my arm." Bucky's laugh was dry. He would always be in awe of how caring you were.

"I will never stop caring about, Bucky. Even if you don't want me." It was true. Nothing could make you stop caring about Bucky.

"Don't want you?" Bucky couldn't let your comment go by.

"Yeah. You don't want me anymore. It's okay. I understand."

"You understand?"

"I remind you of a bad time. The worst. And you had to move on. You had to cut ties with all parts of this time."

"Is this why you think we broke up?"

"Isn't it?"

You started telling yourself this after the breakup as a way to pick the shattered pieces of your heart. Of course, he didn't want to be with someone who held their bad time as a constant reminder on her body as scars. Or with someone who went through the same hell as him. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn't so damaged.

And you understood.

"No, it isn't."

He was planning to tell you everything but not right now. But words just fell out from the tip of his tongue.

"I don't look at you and see bad time. I look at you, and I see all my failures."

You looked at him, baffled, not getting what he meant.

"I remember everything."

You still didn't know what he wanted to say.

"I remember what Hydra did to you. What they made you do for me. What I did to you."

"Bucky.."

"How they pushed you too far in the lies of not hurting me. How they made you watch as they erased you from my mind. How they made me fight you. Hurt you."

You were about to tell him how you didn't hold him accountable to any of this because it was never his fault. It was never his intention. You were sure Bucky would never hurt you. The Winter Soldier not too. But he cut you off.

"They took you because they knew how much you meant to me. How important you are to me. I was the reason you had to go through all of this."

"I look at you and remember how I failed to protect you. When that's all I ever wanted in life. To protect you. But I failed."

"Just like I failed today."

Before you could say anything, he kept going.

"I couldn't understand how you could still love me."

"I looked at the list of people I hurt, and your name was first. And you wanted to help me. You wanted to stay by my side. I couldn't live with the guilt. I still can't. I had to let you go despite how bad it hurts."

"But, doll, I want you to be sure nobody will ever love you half as much as I do."

It took years for Hydra to remove you from his mind. But what they didn't know was that they never fully succeeded.

At first, he would forget his name but remember his girl and everything about you. Then they become harsher, so he would only remember your face and name. Then, it became only your face. Then nothing. The blank paper for them to write what they wanted.

However, whenever Hydra made the both of you train together or go on missions, he would get this rush of flashbacks like a movie playing in his head once he was alone in his cell. It would be you. In different places and different ages. The Winter Soldier would convince himself that it must be his memories from past missions. Effects of being wiped too many times.

The soldier was never able to shake the feeling of guilt after a training session where he would be instructed to be tough with you. A feeling so foreign to him.

He remembers the first time he refused to hurt you. They made him watch from far as they tortured you. Then they wiped him again. Every time he showed any sympathy for you, he was wiped and handled roughly.

But all the efforts weren't enough. You were the first thing he remembered once he settled in Bucharest. That's when the guilt came in. It was you. The love of his love. His fiancée. And they got to you. And he couldn't save you.

Even after the blip, His thoughts kept going back to how he betrayed you and hurt you instead of protecting you like he was meant it.

But the worst part was how he thought he didn't deserve your love anymore. He thought you would resent him. So he decided to break his heart into two. He left.

You were the forbidden topic that Raynor wasn't allowed to go near despite how much she wanted. You were the centre of his nightmares. All of them. Past memories of both of you at Hydra. Missions and trainings. And the worst, losing you. Watching you getting killed. Nightmares that invaded him, and he was defenceless.

"I love you, and I'm so sorry." Bucky laid soft kiss on your hand.

"Let me ask a question, Bucky." He looked at you, tears still filling his eyes.

You didn't expect this to be the real reason why you and Bucky broke up. But you should have known. He was too good of a man.

"If it had been the other way you around, wouldn't you have done the same? Would you have hated me then?"

"I would give my life for you without hesitation. And nothing could ever make me hate you."

His answer was fast. That was the only thing he knew about himself. You come first, always.

"Then why are you surprised with what I did? You don't love me more, Bucky." You laughed softly, already feeling your ribs ache a bit.

You always had this running joke that Bucky loved you more than you did. And to a lot of the extent, it was true.

"You didn't deserve it."

"Neither did you."

You patted the spot on bed next to you, wanting him to be close to you. And he listened. He sat on the bed, hands never leaving each other.

"Haven't we been through enough? Haven't the world tore us apart too many times? Let us have this."

If he still loved you, then you should be together. You should be broken together. You should heal together. It was poetic how even in pain, you were still together.

Both of you understood each other better than anyone. You shouldn't be separated.

"You don't hate me?" It was Bucky's worst fear and biggest doubt. If the damage Hydra did was unrepairable.

"I can live hundreds of years and still be in love with you."

You squeezed his hand to make sure he knew how serious you were. "You are all I have ever known, Bucky."

With that, Bucky got up and moved so close to you. Your faces millimetres away from each other. His breath fanning over your face. His personal scent with dust and blood engulfing you. His blue eyes warming the inside of you.

"I got the best girl of them all." Bucky kissed you.

It was a soft, slow kiss. A sign of starting over. Of getting back.

You smiled in the kiss. Bucky used to say this all the time back then. You were known as Bucky's best girl. He used to call you that.

You broke away, feeling so much better now. Bucky rested his flesh hand on your cheek.

"I thought I lost you. I was so scared."

"You didn't. I'm right here."

"Though you will leave me before I say it back." You looked at him, puzzled.

"I love you, doll. You are the thing I live for. You are the purpose of my existence. I love you so much."

You didn't care about the pain as you moved up to meet his lips one more time. And he kissed you back right away.

"You owe me a ring and wedding, Barnes." You joked while you brought your other hand to hold into his suit to ground yourself.

He laughed before he moved away for a bit, and you already missed the closeness, and he wasn't far. You watched as he brought his dog tags out. You saw something bright with them but couldn't tell it was.

"Oh my god." You felt tears gather in your eyes as Bucky brought out the shiny thing closer.

It was your ring. Your engagement ring. The ring Bucky put in your finger many years ago. It was it. You thought it must have been lost that you didn't try to look for it, avoiding the disappointment.

But here it was. Bucky was able to find it. And he kept it with his dog tags. So close to his heart. Where you belonged.

Bucky got in one knee in his technical gear in a hospital room with you connected to IV.

"Doll, will you marry me?"

You laughed loudly that you felt pain shot again in your body. Bucky was next to you in an instant when your laugh turned to a cough.

"Third time is a charm." You said as you gave him your hand.

With another proposal in Wakanda before the snap, you managed to get Bucky Barnes on his knees three times for you.

He put the ring on your finger and pressed a kiss on your hand. "It will be. Mrs. Barnes." The name always had its sweet effect on you.

Bucky leaned in again to kiss you. And this kiss felt out of the world. Like a lifeboat before drowning. Water after the drought. Your rescue.

It was Bucky's promise of safety and security. Nothing and nobody was ever going to hurt you again. A promise of a safe home. Together.

You kept your forehead resting on his as your hand found its place once again on his suit.

"No to be rude, but you need a shower, babe." You could feel the dust on his face and the blood dried on his suit and skin.

"I will be okay. Probably going to fall asleep." You didn't give him a chance to protest.

"Plus, you know. I like my man nice and clean." You pecked his lips playfully.

The sound of the word "your man" falling from your lips referring to Bucky made his heart do little dances. Damn right he was your man.

"I won't take long." He kissed your hair before he got up and left to get himself presentable for his lady.

The world felt lighter, brighter, better. You felt happy. You were happy. You looked at the ring that held huge meaning for you. You weren't hurting. You were finally okay. You had your man back.

Who would have thought a near death incident would be the thing to give you back the man who always brought life to you.

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brooke0297 · 2 years

Text

A Chance At Happily Ever After (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Post-Endgame; Pre FATWS)

Summary: Bucky believes tonight was a mistake. That he doesn't deserve the happy ending his best friend left him to find. But midnight musings lead him to a life changing conclusion.

Warnings: Allusions to Smut; Bucky being self-deprecating.

Author's Note: This started as a 3am idea and I'm pretty proud of how it's turned out. Reader uses She/Her pronouns.

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Bucky swears she can hear his heart thumping in his chest.

He lays amongst the rumpled bed sheets, feeling the sweat cooling on his fevered skin, gazing wide eyed at his ceiling. The window is open and the city sounds bleed into background noise. Born and bred Brooklyn, it soothes him. But does nothing to stop the wild beating of his heart under his ribs.

He can feel the heat from her body radiating beside him and his eyes slide to take in the full expanse of her back. Smooth skin illuminated by the moonlight from his window, the outline of her spine running down the center. If he were younger, from the before time, he might have reached out to trace the lines of her. Maybe allowed himself to curl into her and fold her into his warmth…

A jolt of something that he can’t unravel settles in his stomach and he tries again to calm himself.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, he thinks to himself. Damn you, Steve.

It had been his secret mantra for months now. He thinks back to watching his best friend disappear from that platform of Stark’s, knowing in his bones that Steve was going to get his happily ever after. He remembers turning away as Sam began to panic, commanding Banner to bring him back. He remembers her running to Sam, begging him to explain what had happened. The two of them approached the man on the bench while he hung back, trying to pretend the emptiness in his stomach was normal. He remembers her tears as she walked past him. She was always trying to appear tough and unbothered.

He knew what a broken heart looked like. He’d seen it in the mirror.

It had taken a couple weeks after Steve left for him to finally unravel the pieces: a friendship borne in the days after the Chitauri invasion, her support during Steve’s search for him, the accords. She had confessed to Sam one night that there had been something there. Before she’d turned to dust with the rest of them, Steve had promised her the moon.

She shifted slightly, curling into herself. Bucky tensed as she let out a small, contented sigh and went still again.

So how could he have let this happen?

He had relied on her in the past few weeks and their friendship had gotten stronger. Sam had returned to New Orleans and they had remained in New York. Bucky had a sneaking suspicion that she had remained to keep an eye on him in some latent promise to the one who’d left them both, but he’d shoved those feelings down deep and tried not to think about them too hard during her mandatory movie nights.

Tonight was a stupid moment of selfishness. She had a habit of checking up on him before the end of the day. She had rented the apartment two doors down from him and would often take a detour to his door before turning in. This time, she’d caught him delirious from a mid afternoon nightmare that he hadn’t been able to avoid. He was just so damn tired and he only wanted to rest his eyes for a minute…

He hadn’t had to ask. She had gently taken his arm to steer him back to the couch, turning on a mindless sitcom for background murmur, and began the process of steeping some tea. He watched her practiced movements in his sparse kitchen and felt something warm perch in his chest at the thought that she was right at home in his space. The mug warmed both hands–clammy flesh and icy metal alike–and he listened as she began to tell him a funny story about something that had happened to her at work that day.

Once the tea was gone and his tremors had ceased, she had paused and gazed at him with worried eyes.

“Have you told your therapist?” she’d asked quietly. He’d shaken his head. He wasn’t ready to discuss the nightmare yet. It was bad enough having to recount the exploits he remembered from his soldier days.

“I’m sorry,” she had said, eyes downcast.

“For what?”

“For…I don’t know. Not being here when you needed me? For all of the bullshit those bastards put you through? It kills me, knowing that they hurt you so deeply.” She grasped his metal hand–he tried to hide the immediate recoil, but even with the new appendage he still worried about her fragile hand in such a powerful extremity.

“It’s not your fault,” he said.

“It still hurts to know they caused you so much pain, Bucky. I wish I could tear them limb from limb for what they did.”

Something else he had realized in the time he’d known her: she was a lioness when it came to those she cared about. The thought of her going in any proximity to Pierce or Karpov, however, made his anxiety spike and his breath wooshed out of him harshly.

“I would die before I let them near you,” he’d growled. When he realized what he’d said, he’d reluctantly turned his gaze to hers and found her looking back at him with such tender fondness that it had made his chest tighten in a pleasant way.

“I know, Bucky. Because you are so good. You will always be better than what they tried to make you. You choose everyday to be good despite the hand you were dealt. You deserve happiness and a content life of your own and I will always work to give you that in whatever way I can.”

He hadn’t planned it. He didn’t even know if he was aware of what his body was doing. But something inside him had snapped into place. As she stood to take his cup to the kitchen, he found himself gently tugging her back to him to cradle her neck in his flesh hand. With his other, he brushed her hair away from her face and pressed his lips hungrily to hers.

It had been too long since he was this close to someone, let alone a beautiful woman. He could smell her shampoo and the faint perfume of her body wash overwhelmed his senses. He could feel her warmth through her sweater and her lips were soft and pliant against his. She was surprised and Bucky steeled himself for when she would pull away and slap him for getting fresh with her before disappearing from his life.

Instead she threw herself into his arms and kissed him back fervently. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him impossibly closer, emitting a soft moan that caused his tight control to slip.

There was a war within him. One half of him wanted to set her on his couch, rip their clothes off, and have his way with her. The other half was disgusted and raised the issue that he hadn’t even taken her to dinner first. That he was a monster who had killed people with his bare hands. He was dangerous and she could get hurt.

This isn’t right. We should stop. I need to stop.

When her nails scratched lightly against his neck, he was nearly undone. She dragged her mouth from his and began placing hot, open mouth kisses along his jawline. His eyes shut tight against the feeling of her lips trailing towards his ear and his arms moved as if to push her away.

“Don’t stop…” she whispered to him.

The rational voice was still screaming at him to let go and get as far away from her as possible. Instead, he hiked her into his arms as if she weighed nothing, and carried her into his nearly unused bedroom.

Now, laying in the aftermath of his loss of control, he felt a twinge of regret. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to go that far with her. He wasn’t thinking clearly and allowed his body to guide his decisions. He hadn’t been rough with her, but it hadn’t been gentle. He’d used her as an excuse to feel wanted again. He’d allowed himself to sink into her warmth and light and forget that he was a monster who didn’t deserve her.

He began to calculate a plan. He could easily slip out of bed, find a 24 hour diner somewhere, and wait it out. The aftermath might be minimal: she could be so embarrassed of him that she would never speak to him again. He tried to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest at that thought. He could go sleep on his couch and use the warmth of the room as an excuse. But she knew he hated the cold from years of cryosleep. And he worried she would be drawn to the sound of his nightmares.

The air outside had moved from comfortably chilly to verging on cold. Bucky began to gently shift out of his bed to pick up his discarded boxers, his brain continuing to run through variables.

In that moment, she shifted and rolled onto her other side to face him. He froze, holding his breath. He began to panic, thinking she was about to wake up and catch him running away from her. He’d wanted to avoid all this. Stupid idiot. This is what happens when you think for a moment that you could be happy.

Instead, she unconsciously moved in closer and intertwined their legs. Her hand rested above his heart and her head nestled into his shoulder. He could feel her breath fan across his skin and he erupted into pleasant goosebumps. He watched as she sighed serenely for a second time that night and smiled into his neck.

Oh.

The warmth that spread through his body was different from the lust that had consumed him only hours previously. The anxiety that had tensed his muscles relaxed and the weight disappeared. Every nerve ending that had been in fight or flight relaxed into a comforting buzz beneath his skin. His heart finally–finally–quieted to a soft thrumming under her hand. He felt drunk. He felt refreshed.

He felt happy.

This was it. This was what had eluded him for so long. All of his worries about Steve and hurting her and being vulnerable? They were irrelevant.

This girl–the human equivalent to sunshine–had sought him out for warmth and safety. For companionship and comfort. She’d pulled him into her orbit and he didn’t want to let it go.

She wasn’t afraid of him or what he could do. She had chosen him. She had wanted him.

Bucky felt his world come into sharp focus. He tentatively wrapped his flesh arm around her back and pulled her slightly closer. She nuzzled closer still. He gently took his Vibranium hand, shaking slightly, and placed it over hers on his chest. When she didn’t pull away, he gently intertwined their fingers.

“You deserve happiness and a content life of your own.”

Her words echoed in his head. There was a large part of him that hadn’t believed them at first. But now, with her in his arms in his bed, he realized that she may have been right. Steve had been right.

Steve had gone for his happily ever after. Maybe it hadn’t been the best decision for Bucky. Or perhaps it had opened up a life Bucky couldn’t possibly have dreamed of himself.

He realized that he had wanted this all along. The intimacy, the comfort of someone seeing the worst parts of him and still choosing him. He wanted a happily ever after.

******

He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep until the early morning sun shone through his windows. His limbs felt lethargic and he realized he hadn’t tossed and turned like he usually did. He had slept the whole night without a nightmare.

“Bucky?”

Her morning voice was low and raspy, thick with sleep. He looked down to see her blinking up at him. He waited until her eyes had focused on the lines of his face and she gave him a warm smile.

“Good morning,” she murmured.

With a swoop in his stomach, he leaned over and pressed her firmly back into the mattress. His hands braced on either side of her head and he bent down to catch her surprised mouth in a sensual kiss. She responded immediately, wrapping herself in his arms and pulling him closer. He pulled away as she gasped quietly and he felt the biggest smile break across his face.

“Hey, Doll.”

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