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justreadingfics · 4 years

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It’s a Deal (Chapter 11)

Chapter Summary: Bucky is ready for commitment.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 4.6k

Warnings: fluff. Bucky is so smitten.

A/N: It’s been 84 years, but I hope you have fun! Thank you, @lesqui, for reading it over and helping me out with English and everything. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated.

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Placing your hands on each side of your hips, you smirk at the popped-up screen in your office. Another project you just nailed. Ever since the promotion, your productivity has increased tenfold and you feel as motivated as ever, your creativity on a top level. Also, the last few weeks, after you decided you needed some time alone, you did set more focus on yourself and your own projects. Work being one of them.

It’s weird to say the least… you’ve been busier than ever and yet, it seems like you actually have much more time to yourself now. You’ve been reading books you’ve bought but never really got to read them, eating ice-cream at 3am as you watch The Return of the King for the millionth time, your drawers are finally organized and so is your precious DVD collection. You got to explore a great number of parks and spots you’ve never been before, even living in New York for so long. You’ve been going out a lot and catching up with friends and family.

It was a good decision. You remember in your relationship with Eddie there were always obstacles for you to hang out with people outside the small inner circle of you as a couple. Sometimes the obstacles were subtle, and not always brought solely by Eddie, but also by you who let yourself get involved in that dynamic. You had no idea how much you missed people that were yours only, and not yours and Eddie’s.

It’s been great to be single. Really, really single for the first time in your adult life. No boyfriends or fiancées, no booty-calls or deals. Completely single… A title and state of mind you didn’t really get to enjoy in the first months of being broken up, being too heartbroken to even think of everything you could do with your life then.

Deciding to be alone for a while…It was a great and reasonable decision.

You have to admit something to yourself, though.

Sometimes you just wanna throw “great” and “reasonable” out of the window. Because you do miss him… A lot.

Finding out how he’s changed his mind and predisposition towards your relationship has messed quite a bit with your mind… and heart. You weren’t expecting that at all and now you don’t really know what to do with the chaos that’s bringing upon your feelings. And what’s making it even messier is the other guy who also changed his mind and predisposition towards your relationship… you weren’t expecting that either… however, that particular change of heart hasn’t been making your own heart jump each time you think of it…

Squeaky little yells and an animated chattering sound of female voices catch your attention to outside your office. Your previous smirk turns into a smile while you shake your head to yourself. That type of commotion only ensues when a certain someone drops by the Tech Department.

With a wave of your hand, you shut down the screen you’ve been working on, before moving towards the sound. What you come to find a few stops outside your office, at the Department’s common area, is a little circle of your female coworkers around a Super Soldier. He’s always a hit among your coworkers, but today it seems like they’re even in a bigger frenzy, fussing around something that he seems to be holding in his arms. You attempt to catch an eye of it, but the bodies in front of you make it quite hard.

He spots you as you approach them and opens a huge grin at your sight.

You smile back at him just as widely and after you come closer and some of the girls make room, your eyes widen and a small little gasp slips out of you when you finally find out what the fuss is all about. They are all cooing and marveling at a beautiful cat on Bucky’s arms, white as snow on a mountain peak, standing there like royalty, staring back like they’re nothing but proud of being where they are.

“Hey,” Bucky greets, prompting your eyes to focus back on him.

“Hi, there,” you answer back while your gaze carries an amused question mark at him.

He lifts a hard drive with his free hand to your vision field, “We collected this last mission, it’s some alien stuff,” he offers you the drive, keeping his eyes on yours.

As you gaze at each other, you reach for the little device. His fingers brush against yours and that’s precisely when the chattering around both of you becomes nothing but a distant and vague noise that barely reaches your senses… until a loud clear of throat sound stands out.

“Alright, girls, let’s get back to our desks and let these two, ahm… work,” Camilla, your closest friend there, gives you a pointed look and a discrete curve curls the corner of her lips as she leads the group - which looks far from happy about it - away.

When your gaze meets Bucky again, he’s got that shit-eating grin of his that tells you the little interaction between you and your friend didn’t quite skip from his attention.

You bite your lip and are about to say something when he beats you to it, “Sorry, I had to bring her with me.” He looks down at the cat on his arm and gives it a gentle shake, grinning down at her while she looks up at him before her incredibly blue eyes shut in what looks like sheer contentment, “This little girl right here started whining at the door when I was leaving… she just can’t leave my side anymore.” Bucky shrugs and ticks his tongue, before winking at you.

You chuckle, finding the surprising scene before you nothing less than adorable. The fact that you enjoy being in the presence of his charm again doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you say nothing about it, “It’s ok, of course. I love cats. What’s her name?”

“Y/N, this is Alpine. Alpine this is Y/N,” he introduces you two with pride lacing his voice.

“Oh, hello, Alp-” your attempt of petting the cat comes to an abrupt halt with you withdrawing your hand at the loud hiss the animal aims at you.

Your eyes snap at Bucky to see his jaw dropping and his eyes widening with a mix of shock and fluster, “Fucking Christ,” he gasps, before looking down at the cat who now licks its paws absentmindedly, “What the hell, missy? Apologize. Apologize now,” he scolds, gaining absolutely no reaction in response.

He scoffs, looking back at you with incredulous lifted eyebrows.

You laugh, mainly at his attempt of making Alpine apologize, “Don’t worry…” You wave him off, “How did that happen, though? I don’t remember you having a cat.” You narrow your eyes just when your head tilts.

He bites his lower lip before an almost cringing smile forms on his lips, “Oh well…”

A FEW WEEKS BEFORE…

“Weren’t the Skrulls, like, actually good guys?” Bucky frowns, shoving one of his post-missions Oreos in his mouth and crossing his ankles over the spaceship’s dash.

“Every bunch has its bad apple, I guess,” from the pilot’s seat Natasha shrugs, eyeing the apple in question from over her shoulder.

“You’ll regret this,” threatens the prisoner, who’s actually a Skrull slaver named Gragnon and has his hands and feet securely tied up, stuck on a sit at the back of the ship. Still, he tries to get up and advance towards the front, but a shield of red mist surges in front of him, making him fall back on the chair again with a growl.

Wanda, the third member of the party on that mission, smirks from her seat right behind Nat’s.

Nat rolls her eyes, “What a douche… Talos has been leading a search for him for years now, he’d be thankful we’re taking him to them. Feet off the dash, please.”

Bucky quickly obeys, pulling down his legs to the floor as Wanda snickers.

“In fact… we should thank the success of this mission to a certain someone, who came up with a device to break alien codes.” The cheeky smile on Wanda’s face as she started speaking only fades so she can shoot a glare back at the prisoner, who’s now revolved by a red mist dome.

“Damn right.” A dreamy little curl pulls Bucky’s lips as he swings on his seat and passes the bag of Oreos to Wanda.

“Jesus,” Nat scoffs, setting the ship on autopilot, before swirling her chair to see both Bucky and Wanda, “Could you ever imagine this could be possible? That this guy would someday be that smitten over someone?” she questions Wanda.

“Not in a million years. I don’t know Y/N that well, but I bow to her.” Wanda mimics the gesture before shoving a cookie in her mouth.

Bucky doesn’t even drop the dreaminess of his smile. He is smitten… completely… utterly… and fuck if that doesn’t feel damn good. He always thought that kind of feeling would be a pain in the ass, boring and painful. It is not. He feels like singing, dancing, hugging every human being and alien he comes across. Fuck, he would hug the Gragnon dude if it didn’t mean to get a kick in the ass from Natasha. It’s been ages that he doesn’t really get high on anything, but that feeling… he’s definitely hooked on it. There’s not a doubt inside him anymore and he’s in love with being in love with you.

“So, spill it,” Nat crosses her legs, swinging on her chair “You really went to her place and poured your heart out to her? Right after her ex proposed to her?” She questions, “What did she say?”

“Well, first she thought I was kidding and laughed her ass off…” He shakes his head with the same dreamy little smile on his lips, “Then, when she realized I was not, she started crying and, of course, so did I.” He shrugs, ignoring when Nat and Wanda exchange looks, “She wasn’t expecting that from me at all, and, we can’t really blame her can we?”

“Definitely not.”

“Nope.”

Bucky chuckles at the unison response from her friends before leaning over and snatching the bag of cookies from Wanda, before giving them the details of his talk with you, having their undivided attention. “And she said she needs some time alone, being single, I mean, to sort her feelings out… Also, it seems like she doesn’t think I can’t deal with the kind of commitment that being in love requires,” he says with a mouthful.

“Oh, honey…” Nat tilts her head.

He notices the sympathy on hers and Wanda’s expressions and waves his hand to brush her worries off, “No, no. None of that. All in all, it went pretty well. As much as I wished it would be different, I think her decision is fair. At least she didn’t say yes to the jackass with the ring,” he huffs, “I wasn’t really expecting her to throw herself in my arms. At least, not just yet.” He smirks.

“What?” Natasha shoots a look at Wanda before turning to him, “You’re not stepping aside?”

Bucky snorts at the question, “Are you kidding me? The first broad I ever fall in love with and you think I’ll leave the path free for that short little clown who thinks ten years matter?” He lets out an exaggeratedly loud laugh, “I’ve lived more than one hundred of them. Ten years mean nothing to me, and soon enough she’ll realize it doesn’t have to mean much to her, either.” A small smile rises on his face, “Of course she can have the time for herself she wants, find out what’s like being single. She deserves that. And she can think and figure out all she needs… have her fun... It’s all good…” He nods, “But in the meanwhile? I’ll be around romancing the shit out of that woman,” he states, right before tossing another cookie in his mouth.

“Holy shit,” Wanda addresses Natasha, with both eyebrows high on her forehead.

“I know…” Nat answers with an equally dumbfounded look on her face, before turning to Bucky, “Listen,” she sighs and tilts her head, “I hate to be such a killjoy here, but… I get you’re in love, and I know this is new and exciting for you.” She’s smiling before her lips tighten, “Having said that… I think she might have a point about you not being ready for commitment Bucky, you never wanted that. I’m gonna be honest here, I’m the one who set what you two had up because I thought it wouldn’t lead to this…” She waves all around him, “Feelings, I mean… and I would hate myself if you two ended up hurt because of it.” She focuses an apprehensive gaze on him while Wanda also rests her attention on him, looking like she agrees with her friend.

Bucky takes a good look between the two of them before putting into words the answer that’s so clear on his head now, “I know it may sound weird and uncharacteristic of me. Trust me, I know that.” He nods at Natasha, taking a moment to silently communicate with her in the way that has been always so easy for the two of them, “You’re right, I’ve never wanted that. Settling down to just one person, commit to a long term relationship…But with her,” he sighs and the corner of his lips curl up without further notice, “I want her and I want all of that with her, the whole package. I’m ready. I’m not afraid. I think the reason I didn’t want all of that before is because I hadn’t met her yet. That’s it. Simple as that. I know it’s not going to be easy, but to hell with easy. I want her. And I want her hard.”

Wanda already has a huge grin on her face when a satisfied little smirk twists Nat’s lips, “That’s what Amanda said.”

Bucky’s eyes widen before he squints at her, “What’ve you been up to?”

Nat puts on a nonchalant face and reaches forward to grab a cookie from the package. She takes a bite and shrugs, “Poor girl… needed some comfort after being let down by your buddy down there.”

Bucky lets out an outraged scoff and throws a cookie on her way, from which she dodges easily as she laughs, “I bet you were of great help in consoling her… Jesus… Amanda and you? The world isn’t ready.” He shakes his head.

Natasha sports a smug smile on her face when she nods her agreement, “You’re not wrong.”

“Alright, as much as I want to hear all about this Amanda girl, we’re getting close to the Skrull base now and we need you to land us, Nat,” Wanda nods towards the dash.

“Copy that,” Natasha makes a military salute at her, before shifting her seat and taking control of the ship again.

“And as for you,” Wanda turns to Bucky, “I don’t need to read what’s on your mind to know you’re telling us the truth. You’re ready for commitment,” she offers him a soft smile, which he reciprocates, “And if you really wanna show her that, I may have an idea.” Her smile turns into a devious little smirk and that’s enough to pique Bucky’s interest.

~~~

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Bucky asks, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walks alongside Wanda through the busy sidewalks of Manhattan, “I mean… I know I said yes, but it is one hell of a commitment, what if it’s not for me?”

“Don’t worry, Bucky,” she smiles, “We’re just gonna take a look around, feel the vibe, and then see what happens. You don’t have to decide anything just yet,” she assures, wrapping an arm around his elbow as he looks down at her, “I just think it’s a good idea for you to get to know a bit more of this sudden inclination to commit…to experiment, I guess,” Wanda shrugs, “Besides, a dear friend of mine runs the shelter and the girl knows her stuff. If she feels like you’re not ready, she won’t allow you to get out of there with one of her babies.”

Bucky lets out a laugh. Feeling a little lighter about the subject, he places his hand over the one Wanda has wrapped around his arm, “Alright… I’m not opposed to the idea of having a dog, I guess. I always loved Labradors…” he frowns, “I would have to switch apartments, though…”

“Look at you.” Wanda nudges her shoulder on him, “Already making plans for your child…”

“Child…” Bucky can’t help but snort. He had agreed to Wanda’s idea of going to an animal shelter because he thought it would be a good way to show you he’s ready for commitment and, like he said, he’s always been fond of dogs and he’s sure if he ends up taking one home he’ll treat them well. But he also never understood how some people could be so attached to an animal to the point of considering them a child, or family…“I don’t know… I’m definitely not taking a pet home today. I agree with you, I shouldn’t decide anything just yet.”

As they walk past a small alleyway, Wanda halts, forcing him to stop with her.

“What?” Bucky frowns down at her.

“Shhh,” she brings a finger to her lips, staring towards the alleyway, “Listen.”

That’s when Bucky’s enhanced hearing catches the thin and shaky little sound coming through the trash cans.

“Come on,” Wanda pulls him to the alley and towards the cans.

What they find behind one of the containers, among all the filth around is a ball of white fur. Curled up and shaking just like the meows they heard seconds ago. A cat, a young adult white cat looks up and a pair of baby blue eyes meets Bucky’s and he just can’t look away from the plea on them and it’s just when something clicks inside his chest.

“Oh, no, look,” Wanda points at the tail, that has an evident injury on it, but when she leans down to examine it further, the animal flinches and rushes towards Bucky’s legs, letting out another trembling and weak meow. Bucky freezes as it starts climbing up his calves.

Given the poor coordination on their back little legs – probably from the damage on the tail- it can go much higher, but keeps trying. After the initial surprise, Bucky can’t help but to smile at the little fighter, who seems to reach out at him for protection. Next thing he knows, he’s leaning down and picks it up with all the caution he can muster.

“Hello, little lady… what happened there, huh?” He coos, nodding towards the small injury, which looks like a bite, having the cat meowing while bumping and rubbing the head against his chest.

“Is it a female?” Wanda tilts her head, an amused and questioning expression on her face.

Bucky smirks, not taking his eyes away from the animal, who is now quiet and seems much calmer, but digging her little claws on Bucky’s shirt, “I know a beautiful lady when I see one. Don’t I, gorgeous?”

A purring sound comes out of the now contented animal, the small injury on her tail apparently not being a problem anymore while she climbs higher and practically hugs Bucky with her little paws, whose fur is smudged by dirt, making his heart take a flip in his chest. Damn his heart nowadays…

“Aww, Bucky…” Wanda smiles, placing her hand over her heart, “What are we going to do? Should we take her to the shelter?” Wanda offers, with a bit of tentativeness on her voice.

Bucky’s eyes widen largely, before they snap to her friend. A protective tightness laces his hold on Alpine, who lets out another weak meow. Shit… Alpine? When the hell did he even come up with a name? Fuck if he knows, all he knows he’s done for and can’t possibly think of parting from that white furry little thing, who seems to have gone through a lot in her life already and probably has never met with human kindness before.

He doesn’t need to say anything as understanding falls upon Wanda’s face. He would even guess there’s a bit of pride adorning the smile on her lips now, “Alright, alright… we do need to take Alpine to the vet, though, Mr. I’m not gonna take a pet home today.” She winks.

~~~

PRESENT DAY…

“Oh well…” Bucky scratches the back of his neck while you keep your beautiful interested eyes on him, “I found this beauty on the street… she had an injured tail, poor thing… probably bitten by a dog. But she’s fine now, aren’t you, sweetie?” He coos, putting on the new tone of voice that belongs to Alpine now and loving the sound of your chuckle, “You know… I’m fully committed to taking care of her. I’m a cat dad now.” He says, putting some effort to highlight the word “committed”.

“I can see that…” you comment, nodding with a glimmer of fondness in your gaze at where Alpine is cuddled against him with eyes closed, completely relaxed.

Bucky looks down and smiles. That one is too cute for her own good, but he’s definitely having a talk with her later, for hissing at you like that, like he hadn’t given her a lecture about good behavior and how incredible you were before they left home.

“So, it’s been a while, huh? How’re you doing?” He asks softly, boring his eyes on you and holding back every ounce of him to not pull you to his arms and shower you with all the intense love he’s gathering in his chest at your sight in front of him. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t have spent those long weeks apart from you, but he met with missions and an Alpine in the way. Also, as much as he’s resolved to show you he’s the one for you, he understands you needed time for yourself. But, hell, he missed you so much.

“Oh, I’m good, I’m good… pretty good,” you ramble, brushing a finger behind your ear, that thing you do when you become a bit self-conscious, which happens often when he places his gaze so intently on you.

He can’t help but smile, his chest impossibly swelled with his feelings for you, because that woman who becomes all flustered with his attention is the same woman who whined to suck his dick while shitfaced after a party. Damn, he’s so in love with you.

“That’s great...Are you free tonight?” He asks, smoothly, “Wanda and Sam will make hamburgers, they’re one hell of a team in the kitchen, you’ll be welcome to come if you want to.”

“Oh… I…” You falter.

“I’m not trying anything, I promise,” He’s quick to add with a chuckle and raises his free hand up, noticing the trepidation in your voice. “Everyone’s gonna be there. We’re just gonna eat and hangout.” He shrugs.

“Oh… no, it’s not that, it’s just…” You tighten your lips “I’ve got plans.” Something Bucky guesses to be disappointment or something like that sweeps into your voice. As for him, he holds his breath, bracing himself for the news that you’re going out with that douche of an ex, “I’m gonna meet some friends from college tonight. I got a reservation for us for dinner and then we’re gonna go dance…”

Bucky lets out a breath and the smile that grows in his face is wide when he says, “Oh, alright. That sounds like fun.” Really, really fun, especially if that jackass isn’t involved. He’s not disappointed. Far from it.

You smile back at him, matching his mood. It doesn’t slip from his attention that you seem a bit surprised by his reaction at you declining an invitation from him in favor to hang out with your friends, but he says nothing of it.

“Yeah… I’ve been getting reacquainted with them lately,” you say, excitement plastered on the little curve of your lips and the glint in your eyes, “It’s been fun. I’d love to get to know Wanda and Sam’s talent in the kitchen, though….Maybe some other time?” You offer.

“Sounds perfect, sweetheart.”

The term of endearment brings the effect he was aiming for when you promptly does that thing with your finger on your ear again, but it was also noticed by the other girl in the room and currently in his arm, who seems to wake up from her comfort slumber against his chest to hiss at you again.

You look at each other in widened eyes.

“What the hell,” Bucky scolds down at the cat, glancing at you briefly, catching your now amused expression, before addressing Alpine again in a whispery voice, “We’re gonna have a talk back home, young lady.”

~~~

“What a number you put out there, huh?” His voice is gentle despite the reprimanding intention in his words while Bucky crouches and fills her little plate with the special food the vet recommended.

With her crystal-clear eyes glued on the plate, Alpine doesn’t really acknowledge his half attempt of admonishing her before digging in.

Bucky chuckles, “She’s cute, isn’t she? But so are you,” He scratches the back of her ear and she stops eating for a moment to brush her head against his hand, “You don’t have to be jealous, doll. You’re so cute, you’re my girl, too, you know?” he coos, still petting her, “But you gotta help me out there buddy. Ok? She’s really special and I know you’ll love her, too.”

Alpine lets out a weak meow before getting back to her plate and Bucky swears to God he sometimes wonders if the cat is some sort of shapeshifter in disguise, understanding every little thing he says.

Letting her out to eat, he stands up, “Hey, Friday,” he calls.

“Yes, Bucky?”

“Could you search for a table reservation in the name of Y/N Y/L/N tonight? I need the address of the place.”

A small silence ensues before the A.I speaks again, “Isn’t it a bit creepy?”

He sighs, placing his hands on his hips, “Friday… babe…” He smiles at the giggles that resound in his kitchen, before bringing a hand to his heart, “I’m in love, ok? I’m not gonna ruin her night…If anything, I’m just going to make her night out with her friends more… interesting.”

“Alright, you know I can’t say no to you,” the A.I concedes, “You can find the address in your phone’s map. Good luck, handsome.”

“Thanks, babe,” Bucky grins, before turning to Alpine, who’s now about done with her food, sprawled on the floor busy with cleaning out her paws, “And you?” He calls, catching her attention before he points at her, “You’ll have burgers with your aunt Wanda. I have plans for tonight.”

~~~

To be continued...

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes fanfiction #it's a deal

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nostalgiaruinedme · 3 years

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Monster

Prompt: Mistreated by Authorities Fandom: TMNT 2012 Ao3 link: here Summary: After the Kraang and the Triceratons and the Shredder, the world is finally safe, save for the scars left behind. But humanity is looking for a scapegoat to blame all the tragedies on, and their gaze lands on the mutants. Now, every government in the world is after any and all mutants, but first and foremost, they want the turtles. And then the EPF capture Donatello.

First I’d like to thank the amazing @morikothehalfangel for beta reading this for me <3

I put way too much effort into researching the effects of torture by asphyxiation for this oneshot wow. I now know more about asphyxiation than I ever wanted to know but ~accuracy is important~

I mean I think it's accurate. I DID MY BEST OK and also I've been in the hospital because I couldn't breathe (asthma not torture i promise <3) so I based some of it a little on my own experiences, just amped up a billion percent.

Also I know a lot of people are like "THEY'RE TURTLES THEY CAN HOLD THEIR BREATH FOR A WHILE" but like- that's a great headcanon that I love reading about but considering they nearly did suffocate in that one episode where that one triceraton released all the air from their cell, I don't think it's canon. And even if it was canon I wanna write this so I'm disregarding it pff

PLEASE mind the warnings in the summary. Don't read anything that will trigger you, take your safety first ok? That's more important than reading a fic.

Okay, that's all. Please enjoy! and suffer.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: - Self hatred - Depression - Asphyxiation - Torture - Briefly mentioned suicide attempt -

Everyone is good at heart.

If you asked April 5 years ago what she thought about the inherent good or evilness of humanity, that would've been the answer she gave. A typical one, maybe, full of clichés and misplaced optimism, but it was also one she truly believed. Sure, sometimes that goodness had been shoved deep down and locked in a cage. Sometimes it was so long gone even its owner would forget it existed. Sometimes it was buried so deep not even god could tear it from its depths and bring it to the sunlight... but regardless, it was there, somewhere. To be good or not was just a matter of choice. Everyone was good at heart.

But that was then. And this was now. The time she believed in the goodness of all was before a time before a seething Casey Jones had marched into her apartment and shoved his phone into her face, a time before he said nothing as she read the article on the screen, her confusion slowly morphing into absolute horror.

"Mutant Responsible for Destruction of City Finally Apprehended", it read, and below that deceptive headline was a photo of someone she knew all too well. His mask was gone, one eye bruised shut, and a hand outstretched towards whoever was holding the camera in a last ditch effort to hide his face. It had been a fruitless endeavor, unfortunately; five more photos followed, and April had no doubt in her mind that there were plenty more in circulation elsewhere. Every news station in New York—no, scratch that; every news station in the country was rushing to cover this story, and probably a few hundred more channels across the world as well. It was big news after all. After years of trying to catch the so-called evil mutants the public had taken to blame for all of their problems, they finally got one of them. It didn't matter how wrong the stories were... the people who caught him were going to be praised as heroes.

"They got Donnie."

Casey's words weren't necessary—April easily recognized who was in the photo—but hearing them still made her breath hitch, all hope of this being a dream or imagined crashing down around her. This was all too real. Humans capturing the four brothers had always been a danger, they knew that, but to actually have it happen to one of them...

April guessed that after Tokka returned to Earth three years ago, they should've seen it coming. Bishop had tried his hardest to repair the Utrom's relationship with humanity, specifically the Earth Protection Force in this case, and had very nearly succeeded too. But the officials he was working with were stubborn, and after seeing the turtles in action themselves, they were terrified. It didn't matter that they had been working to save them or that they weren't the bad guys; those damn officials only saw a powerful threat they couldn't control.

They were evil men. And evil destroys what it can't control.

So they shattered what was left of the Utrom council's relations with humanity, and ensured the rest of the world did too. And then they used Earth's real saviors as scapegoats.

Aliens coming to Earth, capturing humanity countless times and mutating them into mindless slaves? The mutants' faults. The destroyed buildings and sounds of fighting and screaming all night long? The mutants' faults. The increase in robberies and kidnappings by inhumane creatures and robotic ninjas? The mutants' faults. Giant alien turtle lighting New York on fire? Mutants' fault. Dinosaurs invading? Mutants' fault. Ghosts rising? Mutants' fault. Cultish whispers? Mutants. It was all their fault.

And at the front of it all, they blamed the turtles specifically.

The four brothers pretended they didn't care. All of them. Mikey just joked about it, claiming those humans were clearly just jealous they couldn't save the Earth like they did. Raph got angry, obviously, but he pretended it was because of just 'humans in general', and that the accusations weren't hitting as hard as everyone knew they were. Leo used this to reason that they just needed to try harder and save more people... If they did more good, he said, people would speak up to defend them. He never quite managed to hide the hurt that came when no one did.

And Donnie... Donnie took all the allegations right to the heart.

He buried himself in inventions, the only one of his brothers who didn't seem to suffocate from the isolation, and never spoke of it. April tried to talk to him and Casey did too. Both were all too aware of the thoughts Donnie had about himself. While his brothers had their own insecurities, Donnie held the worst ones about just what he was. A Monster, he believed, despite their assurances he was anything but. This situation just made it all worse.

And then Donnie left the lair by himself. He'd gotten himself captured.

"What about his brothers?" April whispered, eyes still locked on the article. Casey sighed.

"They're obviously panicking... Leo's planning a rescue mission tonight, and Raph massacred his punch dummy and Mikey's trying to keep both of them from going on a suicide solo mission right now, in the daylight. It's not looking too good, Red, this isn't like any other time..."

It wasn't. They'd all been captured by the enemy before, but that was by underground organizations and alien terrorists and chaotic mutants. This was more than that. Donnie had been arrested by the EPF, a military organization... if you could even call it an arrest. He sure as hell wasn't gonna get a lawyer, that was for sure, and he'd probably be turned over to scientists the second he refused to tell them anything useful. This wasn't something they could just sneak into, fix, and then be on their way.

This was the entire United States government they had to go up again.

"We gotta get him out of there," April said, pushing the phone away. She couldn't look at it for another second. "He's barely been gone a day and his face is plastered everywhere online, we don't have a lot of time. When are the guys planning on going?"

"Right before sundown, so in about an hour," Casey said, returning his phone to his pocket. "I don't know what Leo's got planned, but we have just enough time to get ready and I told them we'd meet them there."

April nodded firmly, without even a hint of hesitance.

"Let's get going."

***

When Donatello was little, he liked to pretend there was a monster living under his bed.

A common nightmare among children, he knew what it was. Most children feared what lived under their bed, and when they did think there was one hiding there... it wasn't because they wanted it there; it was because they hated the idea. They would beg their parents to run into the room and shine a flashlight underneath, to hug them tightly and assure them that monsters weren't real, it's all in your head. Some braver children might even get up to check themselves, armed with a foam sword or a plastic spear, bravely embarking on a quest to kill the monster, for it was an enemy.

But to Donnie, the imagined monster under his bed wasn't hated. It was a friend. It was someone like him.

The fear of being a monster had started within the turtle when he was small, when he first started learning about the world above him. His brothers had found mankind interesting, sure, but it was he who wanted to know everything about them. What were their kids like? What did they eat? Why did they live so close to the sky? How did they look? How come they couldn't meet them? These were the questions that he'd sneak into Splinter's room for answers to long after his brothers had gone to sleep.

Because Donnie wanted answers, and his curiosity would never be satisfied until he knew all there was to know.

But as Donatello's knowledge grew, so did his own insecurities. He now knew what human children were like (different from him). He now knew why they couldn't meet them (they would be terrified). Because Donnie was a mutant. He was the scary monster they imagined under their beds, the one they wanted their parents to protect them from... He was what they feared.

So he took comfort in imagining his own monster under his bed, one that was even scarier than him. But he never hated or feared this monster. No, he wouldn't be like the human children. It didn't matter how scary this monster was, he decided, he would befriend and love it no matter how it looked. Because he was a monster too, and monsters had to stick together, right?

It only took a few years longer for Donnie to stop pretending he had a monster hiding under his bed (though he still took comfort in the thought every once in a while), but it took him much, much longer to stop thinking of himself as one. So many nights of sitting beside Casey and April, both assuring him he was anything but, and so many long years of doubting his place in their lives. It took determination on all three's part but eventually, he even saw himself as something normal, someone who could actually fit in their tiny group of three instead of the monstrous invader they swore he wasn't.

"We want you in this too," April had sworn, and Casey confessed the same only moments later. Donnie had cried. A day later, he finally believed them, and the three started the happiest relationship of their lives. He finally found himself fitting in, and finally, finally... he thought he had defeated his thoughts.

But that was then, and this was now.

He stood still as dozens of curious, terrified, and disgusted eyes watched him, some trying to get the best look while others tried to distract themselves from his existence. Never before in his life did he feel more like a monster than he did now. All of his progress had been destroyed.

Donnie stared at the men surrounding him on all sides, cursing the glass prison they kept him in. They didn't even let him have enough dignity to keep him in a normal, dusty, dirty cell with corners, did they? No, they had to keep him in a round glass one like some animal, one they could keep a constant watch over from all sides. He couldn't hide anywhere. He had to stand there in the silence.

Donnie wanted nothing more than to hide in his shell just to get away from the prying eyes. But that wasn't normal, was it? He knew that'd only make them stare even harder.

He wished they'd say something. The EPF had taken him, fair enough—Donnie knew they had been after them for months now. But instead of the torture, lifelong prison sentence, scientific experiments, or questioning he had expected, there was... nothing. After the tranquilizer they had shot him wore off, he'd been shoved in this stupid cell and left there for at least 6 hours now. Guards and various EPF staff watched him, spoke in hushed whispers about him and made a few phone calls, and even took a few photos, but that was it. They hadn't spoken a word to him.

Donatello didn't know whether to be relieved or horrified about that. He just wanted to go home.

"Come on, guys..." Donnie muttered, eyes focused on the single window in the room. It was starting to get dark out; his brothers should be coming soon, right? They were at least ready to go by now, if they weren't already on their way. He just had to be patient. "Please hurry..."

"There you are."

Donnie quickly turned around, cursing himself for not realizing that someone had snuck up behind him. To be fair, he had felt watched from all directions since the moment he had woken up, and still did, so one more set of eyes hadn't been much different, but even so... He was a ninja, damn it! He should have realized that someone had approached his cage before they even said anything.

There stood one of the EPF officers, clearly one of their higher-ups, judging by the many many badges he wore on his chest. He had a grim look on his face, yet a hint of satisfaction was hidden in his eyes behind the frown on his lips. Though Donnie didn't know him, he could tell just by looking at him that this was not a good man; he was a man out for power and without sympathy.

Donnie folded his arms across his plastron defensively and met his eyes. However, he was still upset about being given the silent treatment for three hours, so he didn't bother to reply.

They hadn't answered him, so why should he answer them?

"Not a big talker, huh? That's alright." The man said, voice matter-of-fact and calm as could be. "As long as you answer my questions, we won't have a problem, mutant. You don't have to talk any more than that, I promise."

Donnie clenched his teeth. The man smiled.

"You and those other turtles have been on the run for quite some time, haven't you?" He continued, hands behind his back. "I understand you four may not have much experience with the law, as you have been completely disregarding it for years now... but that's not something that's allowed.

"You're wanted by every government and legal system in the world for your crimes against humanity. You've nearly caused the extinction of mankind a dozen times over, yet you refuse to face consequences for your actions. On one hand, I see why you'd be scared to get caught for that, but it's still quite dishonorable, avoiding justice like that. You're running from the law. What should one make of that, mutant?"

'That you're all ungrateful pieces of shit,' Donnie thought, but managed to keep to himself. They nearly sacrificed their very lives just to save this stupid planet, yet here they were blaming him for it. He couldn't keep the scowl off of his face as the man continued to stare, though, no matter how hard he fought to keep his expression blank.

"It's not safe to let you continue to wander the Earth on your own. You'll try and kill us all again, and that's an international threat we can't let slide. But," The man leaned forward slightly, placing a hand over his heart as a sign of trust that Donatello knew better than to believe, "I am a very powerful man. You tell me where we can find the rest of those responsible, and I'll make sure you and the other mutants live a decent life. In captivity, of course, I can't change that, but it will be relatively peaceful."

Donatello tried to calm his breathing, keeping his mouth firmly shut. He didn't give a damn what this man would say; he'd never give up his brothers' locations—who did he think he was? He wouldn't tell him where any of the other mutants he knew were either. The EPF could do whatever they wanted with him... He'd never speak a word.

"Of course, there's other ways to get information out of you," The man continued, voice overbearingly calm and carefree. "Maybe not on where those other freaks are hiding. But there's plenty to learn from mutants' very existence, isn't there?" He grinned. His teeth were white and clear, just perfect enough to hide the rotting soul inside.

"We released your photos to the press already. Can you believe how many labs have offered hundreds of millions, one or two even billions, for you? We're still getting calls and emails as we speak."

Donatello was no idiot, he could have guessed that had happened already. But hearing it... He tensed, hoping the man couldn't see the fear he knew was already apparent on his face. He just had to ignore him. His threats wouldn't mean anything; his brothers would be there soon to save him, way before they could even consider doing that for real.

Besides, the EPF had spent months searching for and trying to capture him. Surely, they wouldn't just sell him off to the highest bidder that easily...

Right?

"Still not talking?" The man's expression darkened, "You don't understand just how much trouble you're in, do you? You're going to pay for what you and the rest of the mutants have done to humanity; I don't care whether you actually feel guilty for it or not. You will be sorry, Mutant."

"Donatello."

"What?"

"My name's Donatello," Donnie hissed out, too angry to even care that he broke his attempt at silence. "Stop calling me that when I have a name."

"I can call you whatever I damn well please, freak," The man replied, pointing a finger at him as though he were lecturing him, "You're lucky I'm even speaking to you right now. Everyone else I spoke to figured said it'd be pointless, and we should just ship you off right now. Mutant, I don't think you realize just how lucky you've been because of me. In fact, you oughta be thanking me."

Even the damn Foot Clan called them by their names, Donnie realized bitterly. Even the Foot treated them with more dignity than these people.

"The decision hasn't been made yet, but the Earth Protection Force is still deciding what to do with you. We've recently built a new high-security prison for mutants specifically in mind, and that had been the plan all along. However, we could always use the money we'd get from your bidders to upgrade it and arrest more-"

"We didn't do any of it!" Donnie couldn't take it anymore. He knew arguing was pointless and he knew it was probably what the man wanted, but he didn't care. "We saved the world, you- my brothers and I were the ones who stopped all that shit from happening! We saved Earth when you and the entire Earth Protection Force couldn't!"

"That's not how I remember it."

"Bullshit! You know you're all lying!"

"Memories are subjective," The man said, "However, the general consensus among the government, public, and us has been that the Kraang backed off due to our brief but effective alliance with the Utrom. The Triceratons-"

"You just want a damn scapegoat because you kept failing!" Donnie exclaimed, slamming his fist onto the glass walls in anger, teeth barred in rage and desperation. He knew his words were falling on deaf ears, but he couldn't take these lies. "We beat them! Not the EPF! We brought all the humans back from Dimension X and saved you all from the Kraang's mind control while you guys did nothing! We stopped the Triceratons! Me and my family nearly died—no, actually some of us did die—just trying to save the planet! The humans who did help us had nothing to do with you guys and it's because of us that you're even breathing right now! We-"

Donnie choked.

While he was shouted, the man had pressed some button, and it turned out the cursed dome he was in had more uses than just keeping him in one place after all. It started with a hissing noise from above and seconds later, a burning in his lungs. He gasped as the air turned frigid, the oxygen escaping from his grasp before he even realized what was happening. His hands flew to his throat. He couldn't breathe.

He fell to his knees harshly, ignoring the pain that came with it—all of his gear, including his knee pads, had been taken before he'd woken up—and clawed at his neck. Out of the corner of Donnie's eyes, he could see the satisfied gleam in the man’s eyes as struggled, gasping for air that just wasn't there. The edges of his vision flashed black.

But just before he passed out, the hissing changed and the air came back. Donnie gasped and inhaled with relief, savoring the feeling he hated that he still took for granted after how many times it had been taken away from him. He could breathe. He didn't bother rising from where he knelt.

"Tell me, Mutant," The man's voice was cold, and Donnie felt a shiver run down his spine. "Why would a monster sacrifice all that for the human race?"

Donnie didn't know.

"Well?" The man said, "That wasn't a rhetorical question. Answer me!"

"Earth's... it's ours too," Donnie hissed out, clenching his fists, "It's... it's just as much ours as... as yours."

"Is that so?" Donnie wanted to nod, to say yes, but he was frozen. Or at least, it felt like that. Humiliated and weak and terrified, Donnie wondered if they had paralyzed him when he wasn't paying attention... But he knew the only thing keeping him from moving was his own damn mind.

"I think you know as well as I do the Earth wasn't built for freaks like you," The man said, "And we sure as hell aren't going to let you just steal it from us. Not while I'm here, and not anytime soon after, you hear me? Earth's ours. It always has been."

Donnie felt a wave of relief wash over him when he turned, preparing to leave. He was still trapped in hell, but at let no one would talk down to him more if the man wasn't here... no privacy or not, it was better than nothing.

But then, the man stopped, tilting his head in thought. He turned back around and addressed another person on the other side of the room.

"Lower the oxygen percentage. Keep it just high enough so it doesn't pass out, but I want it as low as possible without that happening."

He walked away just as the hissing began, and Donnie couldn't help the tears from forming.

***

Two weeks.

Casey couldn't believe it had already been two full weeks since they'd last seen Donnie. How could they have let this have gone on for so long? They should have gotten him back days ago! But no, the calendar didn't lie; it had been fourteen days.

Fourteen days since they'd seen his gap-toothed smile. Fourteen days since the EPF had so cruelly snatched him from his patrol. Fourteen days since they kidnapped him and did who knows what with him. Fourteen days since they'd locked him away.

Thirteen days since they had first tried to get him back.

Casey grimaced at the memories. The first mission had been a failure, as had the second and third ones. Each building had been a fake one, framed as the place where they imprisoned mutants but really only a distraction. Donnie had never stepped foot in any of them... and with each trap they landed in, the team grew more and more desperate. Angrier and angrier. More and more heartbroken.

Casey hated it.

"What do we do, Red?" He asked April one night, sitting on the ledge of a roof and tossing a pebble off of it. It landed on a trashcan below with a satisfying clink, a sound that usually would've elicited a grin from Casey if it weren't for the circumstances. How could they have failed so much?

"I really don't know," April sighed, shaking her head, "We've searched everywhere in the city. I don't think they've sent him off somewhere, since I can still sense him in the city... but I have no idea where. I can't pinpoint him."

Casey looked out across the city, eyes sweeping over every building lining the distance. Though he knew it wasn't exactly true, it had felt like he'd searched every single one of them by now from top to bottom. Why couldn't they find Donnie? How many hideouts did the Earth Protection Force have anyways? So many in the city seemed excessive. Surely, they couldn't be hiding too many more.

Casey's gaze turned towards the water as the sun hovered over the horizon, casting beautiful crystals of light over everything it touched. It reflected off of the waves and met Casey's eyes, lighting them up gold.

And as they did, an idea lit up in his mind.

"April," He said, spinning around to face her, eyes wide and jaw slack, "What if we're looking in the wrong place?"

April frowned, folding her arms across her chest. "What do you mean?"

"They already know we know about all their buildings and hideouts in the city," Casey said, words tumbling from his mouth in a rush, "So why would they hide him somewhere we could find him? I'd guess they took him out of the city or even country, but you said you still sense him here. You know what that means?"

April shook her head. Casey rose to his feet, standing tall as he raised his arm and pointed towards the waters surrounding Manhattan.

"I bet they're hiding him out there, on a ship."

***

Donnie lost track of the days.

He'd tried to keep count, he really did. But there were no windows and no visible clocks, and each second spent in that damned dome felt like years. The circumstances inside didn't make it any easier to keep his mind clear.

Yes, the man had been true to his word and kept the air as unbreathable as was possible. His limbs were weighted and every movement took so much effort; speaking wasn't even an option. Even something as simple as thinking seemed nearly impossible when one was suffocating, and Donnie had no idea how to escape, not with how thick the walls were and how guarded he was. It wasn't normal glass, it was something special, something he couldn't break. All he could do was choke on nothing.

But he wasn't stupid. As impossible as the situation was, he tried to make do. He sat still and folded his legs, staying still and remembering the breathing techniques Splinter had taught him, just like they had when the Triceratons had tried to suffocate them.

At first, it had worked, but then the men caught on. They lowered the amount of oxygen he was getting even more and spoke loudly of their plans for him as a mutant, purposefully destroying his concentration with panic and anxiety. Meditation was impossible.

And even if it wasn't? Even breathing techniques couldn't save him from suffocation that lasted for hours on end.

So Donnie would gasp and claw at nothing, pleading internally for the air to return yet being met with no answer but amused chuckles. The sides of his vision would flash black and slowly grow until he was this close to passing out and ready to feel the sweet release of unconsciousness—Donnie started looking forward to that time when he could get a few short seconds of nothingness before he felt like he was dying again. Just take him away already!

But then, the second they noticed he was unconscious, the air would return all at once. Donnie would fling up from where he was laying and inhale the precious, beautifully crisp air with more appreciation than he'd known was possible. He knew it was just to keep him from dying on them and to keep him awake to suffer even longer, but he could never keep the relieved sigh from escaping his lips.

"So," The man would always approach him around this time, the same disgusting human every time. "Are you ready to tell me where the other mutants are?"

And every time, Donnie would only reply with an adamant shake of his head and narrowed eyes filled with false confidence. The man never stayed much longer after that. He would only shake his head in disapproval, mutter something along the lines of "those damn mutants..." or something about them being criminals, then he'd turn and walk away. The hissing would start not too long after that.

And the process would repeat.

On the fifth day, he really did pass out, and they were forced to give him a few hours to breathe properly, lest they gain a corpse replace their hostage. He didn't bother moving from the floor, feeling nothing yet too much all at once. He didn't think, only longed for his family's rescue.

On the tenth day, the man opened the cage long enough to walk inside and slap him once, twice, and scream in his face. 'Monster!' he screamed, 'Murderer!'

Donnie didn't react. The man was out of shape and old, someone Donnie knew he could normally take out without breaking a sweat. But after four days of struggling for a single breath, he didn't have the energy to do anything but stare.

At least he couldn't think enough to agree with his accusations.

On the thirteenth and fourteenth days, Donnie didn't bother moving once. Most of those 48 hours were spent zoned out and unaware of the passage of time. You could tell him it had only been an hour, or even that it had been three weeks; he'd have believed you either way.

On the eighteenth day, Donnie realized they weren't coming.

The men gagged him before he could bite his tongue hard enough.

***

It should have been obvious.

Staring at the ship now, April wondered how the hell no one on the team had thought of it before. Of course, the EPF would expect them to search their usual hideouts! Of course, they'd be ready for that! They wasted so much time searching the places they knew about that they had just... forgotten that this was more than just another gang or mafia or clan. This was a government agency with resources beyond imagination, they didn't have to reuse the same locations again and again and again.

April was just thankful they had stayed in New York.

"We go in, but we're focusing on stealth," Leo instructed his team—Mikey, Raph, Karai, Shini, April, and Casey—and pointed towards the ship, "We're not trying to take them out. Getting Donnie out is our first priority."

"No objections there," April replied, holding onto her tessen tightly. Casey scoffed from behind her.

"Yeah, definitely agree," He said, "But the second he's out, I'm burning the whole ship down."

"And everyone aboard responsible," Raph added on, eyes dark. Karai nodded in agreement while Shini grinned with delight.

Neither Leo nor Mikey had anything to say against that. Neither did April.

***

The air came back sooner than usual for Donnie this time.

He wasn't entirely sure why, usually it took a lot longer for them to give him a break. Or maybe it had been longer than he'd realized? Time was a strange thing, after all, and Donnie knew that he'd been out of it for a while.

He should probably stop questioning it and just be thankful for the brief break.

But now hands were on him, shaking him by the shoulders and screaming in his ears. What were they even saying? Donnie didn't know; tuning them out was easier. He was just tired of hearing the threats against his brothers and his family and friends and accusations. They could do what he wanted with him—he didn't care anymore.

But then they screamed again, and Donnie tried to focus, because the word they were saying over and over again was so foreign, yet so familiar. It was something he hadn't heard in a long time... wait, were they-

"Donnie!"

The man never said his name.

Donnie blinked several times, looking up and trying so desperately to see who it was. He distantly felt them remove the gag, though he knew he wasn't going to talk anyways, not with how dry his mouth was.

"He's alive," A voice cried out, shaking with relief. He wished he knew who it was, but try as he might, he couldn't make his vision come into focus. All there was was blurs of lights and colors, distant faces, and tears (though he wasn't sure if they were his or not). Green and black and red and orange and blue and more black and gray and yellow... He weakly reached out towards them.

Someone took his hand, squeezing it tightly. He wasn't sure who, but he was suddenly filled with an unbelievable wave of trust and peace.

For the first time in a long time, he felt okay.

Someone picked him up and suddenly, the lights and colors were changing, and he was moving. He blinked and he was outside and then he was sat down outside.

He blinked again, and finally, he could see the stars.

"Donnie?" A voice asked, and he finally recognized it. "Can you hear me?"

April.

He weakly nodded yes, and Casey was there too, grabbing his hand. Mikey sat right next to him.

He tried to sit up, still savoring the beautiful night air, never before appreciating the air of New York City as much as he did at that moment. But something else was on his mind; where were the others? Where were Leo and Raph? Where were the others he knew he saw with them?

"Hey, calm down Love, they're okay," Casey quickly calmed him down, tightening his hold on his hand. Donnie shook his head.

"W-where?"

"They're just finishing up something," Mikey promised, wrapping his arms around his brother in a tight hug. "They'll be out soon."

Donnie nodded, finally with someone he knew he could trust the words of. He breathed in deeply, and looked back forward, out to the ship he now realized he must have been on.

And just as he caught sight of it, a brilliant light erupted from the ship, a radiant explosion of reds and oranges and yellows, casting the same colors across the waves. Fire spread across the deck that was left. From the corner of his eye, he could see his brothers and Karai and Shini approaching, having finally finished their mission, but Donnie could only keep his eyes on the destruction behind them. Donnie imagined that he could hear the man's screams through the wreckage, though he knew individually, he couldn't; they must have been drowned out by the cries of everyone still aboard.

The fire raged on. It was a sight of pain and death and destruction, one that only a monster would take delight in to watch.

And Donnie smiled.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tw torture #tw asphyxiation #tw suffocation #tw suicide mention #tw suicide attempt #tw self hatred #tw depression #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt capriltello #tmnt 2012 donatello

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lucisfavoritedemon · 3 years

Text

The Black Dove

Pairings: Bucky x reader, Steve x reader (no Stucky), Sam & Dean x Winchester!reader, Castiel x reader

Summary: All you have ever known was how to fight and hunt. Your world and all you have ever known is thrown through a loop when you are sucked through a portal, and forced to adjust to this new reality. Will you leave the life you knew for so long, or will you decide to go back home, leaving the ones you loved behind?

Squares Filled: Crossover @marvelfluffbingo Free Space @spnfluffbingo

Warnings: some angst, fighting with siblings, super fluffy conversations, happy Steve, homesickness, fluff, and more fluff

Word Count: 4954

A/N: All mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

I used to be a normal girl, who lived a normal life. As normal as life as a “criminal” could be. My name is Y/n Winchester, my brothers are Dean and Sam. We are hunters of the supernatural. We have been hunting for as long as I can remember. I was only a year old when my mother died, and Sam was only still a baby.

Though we knew what was truly out there, not many people did. That’s where the life of fake credit cards, and run ins with the law come in. It wasn’t an ideal life, but it was a life that we wouldn’t change for the world. At least that’s what I always thought.

Sam and I were looking through books at the bunker library. We were trying to find a way to open the portal to the other reality where our mom was stuck in with Lucifer. We were getting no closer to finding a way to open the portal.

“I’m getting so tired of all these books. Don’t get me wrong, I love books, but this is just exhausting that we aren’t any closer.” I said, slamming my book closed.

“I know. We can’t just give up though. We don’t have that option.”

“I understand, but why can’t Dean help us too. We shouldn’t have to do it all ourselves.”

“I know, but he is seeing if he can find cases for us while we look. Maybe hoping to give us a break.”

“Are you sure? He hasn’t left his room. I even made dinner, and he hasn’t come out.”

“Maybe you should go check on him?”

“Why is it always me.” I stand up, playfulling stomping my foot. I walk down the hall to his room. I knock before walking in.

“Hey, I just started it, wanna watch it with me?” Dean said, eating a slice of pizza.

“No! You’re supposed to be looking for cases! Not watching movies.” I grab his remote and turn it off.

“Sorry, but I haven’t found anything.”

I grab his computer. I begin to look for mysterious deaths in the area, or in nearby states. “There. Found one. Was that so hard?”

“Cas will stay here and keep you company while you finish finding that portal thing.”

“Fine. Get dressed. I’ll go tell Sam.” I walk out, and head back to Sam, “lazy ass was watching movies and eating pizza. I found a case for you guys. Call Cas for me. Dean apparently thinks I can’t handle going out on a case, and I also need a babysitter.”

“Yeah I’ll call him.” Sam chuckles.

“Thanks.” I go to the kitchen, and get another plate of food. I sit at the table and take a breather. I hoped that we would find how to reopen the portal, but I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.

“We’re heading out. Cas said he would be here soon.” Sam said.

“Okay.” I just look down at my plate.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll be back before you even know we’re gone.” Dean reassured.

“It doesn’t matter. I just hate it when I can’t go.”

“If we didn’t need to find a way to open the rift again, you could come with us.” Dean smiled, trying to be positive.

“Sam and I should be the ones going. You have done nothing.” I snapped.

“Y/n, please calm down.” Sam tried to diffuse the situation. He knew Dean and I couldn’t stand each other sometimes.

“Sorry, but it’s true. He was in there watching movies, and eating pizza after I worked for an hour to make a homemade dinner for us.”

“It was kind of rude Dean. She did find a case for us quickly.”

“No. We both talked about this.”

“Talked about what?”

“We feel like after the last hunt, you need to stay benched.”

“Fine. But I don’t always need a babysitter.”

“Yes you do. To make sure you don’t find a hunt, and take off.”

“Why do you care?”

“In case you get arrested? There is still a warrant out for your arrest.”

“Like you two should talk.”

“Thing is, we are ‘dead’. They realised you’re not.”

“Okay, you have a point, but it wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Yeah, but it should be the last.” Dean says, walking away.

“We’ll call you when we get a motel.” Sam gives a small smile.

“Be safe please.”

“Promise. You stay out of trouble.”

“I’ll try.”

Sam walks out, and I’m left alone again. I finish eating real quick and go back to researching. It wasn’t too long before Cas showed up.

“I brought snacks.”

I smile kindly, “thanks Cas.”

“I know you don’t want me here, and all, but I feel like we don’t hang out much on our own.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you here, it’s the fact my brothers don’t trust me enough to stay here.”

“I agree with them though.”

“Of course you do.” I go back to reading, already wanting the small talk to stop.

“I don’t want anything happening to you. Believe it or not you and Dean are very similar in that aspect.”

“Don’t compare us. I want to be NOTHING like him. I at least do some real work around here.”

“You both are strong headed. Both have the will to help people no matter what it takes, but right now, you need to stay here for a while. Just till this blows over.”

“And what if it doesn’t? I’m not going to continue to be sidelined.”

“I know. If this doesn’t blow over in a month, I will talk to them.”

“Fine, but don’t think I’m letting you off easy. You still agreed with them.”

I smile, and finish scanning through the book I was reading earlier. On the very last page there was a spell that could open a hole to another reality of our world. “I think I found something. It seems a lot easier than we thought it would be.”

“It may look simple, but that could change.”

“We have half the stuff here in the bunker. All we need are these last few ingredients.”

“We will wait for them to get back then. I’m not letting you out, and I’m not leaving you alone.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Now we can hang out and enjoy each other’s company.”

“For someone who wants my attention, you haven’t made a good case for yourself.”

“I’m trying. I’m new to this whole relationship thing.”

“I know, but usually if your girlfriend is complaining about someone, you don’t agree with the person they’re angry with.”

“Then I would be lying, and I’ve read that you will always figure out when I’m lying.”

“Okay point.”

He pulls me onto his lap, “I may not know a lot about relationships, but I do know that I never ever want to lie to you.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me Cas.”

“I’m not trying to flatter you. I’m being honest.”

“Fine,” I lean in to kiss him, but I’m interrupted by my phone ringing, “hello?”

“Hey, we made it to the motel for the night. Is Cas there?” Sam said, and I could tell he was smiling.

“Yeah, he’s here. I wish you two would have waited just a little longer before leaving. I found something.”

“You did!? What is it? Is it complicated?”

“No. We actually have a little over half the things we need here at the bunker, and the rest we can easily obtain.”

“Sounds good. Get done as quick as you can.”

“We will do our best. See you in a few days.”

“See ya.”

He hung up quickly before I could say anything else. I just wish that I was able to do more than to stay here. I understand that I screwed up, and they didn’t want me to pay the price like they had to in the past. I couldn’t be too mad, but I still wanted to help. Not just sit here with my hands tied.

“You okay?” Cas spoke up, tearing me from my thoughts.

“I will be. I just hope that this works. If not, then it’ll be my fault for giving false hope.”

“Don’t blame yourself. They won’t blame you.”

“They may not, but I will blame myself.”

“Y/n, don’t say that. I promise everything will be okay. This is going to work, it has to.”

“Which is why you have to let me gather the ingredients. I need to test it. If it works, then they can go through, but I have to to test it.”

“And what if it doesn’t?”

“Then maybe I could be used for something good for once. Make Dean see I’m not just a screw up.”

“He doesn’t think you’re a screw up.”

“Yes he does. I’m going out to get the rest of this stuff. I’ll go in a disguise. I will be careful. You just have to trust me.”

“Okay. You have an hour. If you’re not back, I’m coming back to find you.”

“Fair enough.” I change, then head out. It doesn’t take me long to find the rest of the ingredients. I get back and start working on the spell.

“I hope this works.”

“Me too.” I finish mixing everything together. I began to read the spell, as the room began to glow bright. I finished reading the spell, and there, in the middle of the room, was a red lightning bolt thing. I had a feeling it was the portal we needed.

“There. It worked. Now, we wait for Sam and Dean.”

“No. I have to test it.”

“We don’t know how stable it is.”

“Doesn’t matter. I have to try. If it closes, you have the spell and the ingredients to pen it back up.”

“Y/n, please don’t.”

“I’m sorry Cas.” I hug him tightly, and kiss him before I head to the portal. I walk through as everything goes black.

3rd Person POV:

It was the end of the battle, and the Avengers were sent to scan the streets of New York for anything that remained of the battle. They were about to leave earlier, but they saw a flash of light, and thought there were more aliens coming. As they scanned near the source of the flash, one of them spotted a girl who was unconscious, but was completely untouched from the debris and dust around them.

“JARVIS check vitals.” Tony Stark stated.

“Vitals are normal sir.” Tony’s computer system, JARVIS, stated.

“We should send her with Fury. Have them contain her in case she is not human.” Tony suggested to the others.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. What if she is just human, and she wakes up with people watching her. That could be terrifying.” Steve stated.

“I agree with Steve. You never know what she really is. Come on let’s just take her back to the tower, and wait till she wakes up.” Natasha stated.

“That won’t be necessary. S.H.I.E.L.D. has taken upon itself to monitor her in Washington. If she is human, we will figure out how the hell she got here. We have targeted the source of energy, and it isn’t like anything we’ve ever seen, but she seems human.”

“Told ya Cap.”

“Fury, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea sir.”

“It is, if I say it is. You are welcome to escort her if you want Captain.”

“No thanks, but I do want a call if she wakes up. No experimenting.”

“Did he just tell Fury what to do?” Clint whispered to Natasha.

“Yep.”

“Fine. She wakes up, you’ll be the first contact.”

Steve just nods and walks off. He didn’t know why he was taking this so personally. Wasn’t like he knew her, but something about her said she has already been through a lot. He couldn’t risk her being questioned, and overwhelmed.

“Will she get the proper medical treatment she needs?” Tony asked as he carried the girl to where Fury’s helicopter was.

“Now you’re worried about the girl? She’s not staying here, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”

“I’m just making sure that she is treated like a human until she is proven not to be.”

“Let me guess you want a call too when she’s awake?”

“No. Sending Cap in will overwhelm her enough. I just want to know if you determine human or other worldly.” Tony said, laying her inside the helicopter, as Agent Hill straps her down in a gurney.

“Fine,” Fury walked to the pilot’s seat, “man you’d think they knew her or something.” Fury mumbled, taking off.

Tony walked back to meet the others, who were all sitting around waiting for him. They all sat in silence for a bit. Everyone could tell they all had something to say about the girl that just randomly showed up out of, seemingly, thin air.

“Fury said she’ll get the proper treatment she needs until she wakes up and they can figure out her story. Figure out where she came from.”

“That’s good. Maybe she really is just a human, who just happens to be super lucky?” Natasha suggests, not very convincingly.

“We all know that isn’t very likely.”

“Barton’s right. She is the only explanation of the flash of light. It explains how she was almost completely clean. She had no other injuries, so she most likely bonked her head on entry, and that explains why she was passed out cold.” Tony stated, trying to sound rational.

“Look, if she is human, we can’t overwhelm her with questions. Imagine how she would feel. She may not be able to think straight and tell us something that she doesn’t mean. One of us has to go and be there with her. Make sure she isn’t overwhelmed by all the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.”

“Glad you already volunteered yourself Cap.”

“Someone had to. If not me, then who?”

“I think you’re the perfect one to do it Rogers. You have that welcoming look to you.” Natasha spoke up.

“I agree with Nat.” Clint spoke.

Everyone was in agreement. Steve was the best person for the job, but Tony wasn’t very pleased, he wanted to make sure that no one got hurt. He would have volunteered had Steve not done so already. He couldn’t risk losing anyone to whatever she could be.

Reader POV:

I don’t remember what happened, but the next thing I knew when I opened my eyes was that I was in a hospital. This was unusual for Sam and Dean. We always treated our injuries at the bunker before we resorted to going to a hospital, but this place wasn’t anywhere that I recognized.

I heard voices talking outside, but I just played it off as the doctors and nurses talking about what happened to me. I saw a blonde haired man out of the corner of my eyes, and thought that maybe the voices were Sam and Cas.

“Dean?”

The man looked over at me, “no. My name is Steve. I’m part of the team that rescued you.”

“R-rescued? Where am I? Where are my brothers?”

“Hey calm down, it’s okay. You’re in a hospital in Washington D.C. We found you in the streets of New York after an alien invasion. As far as your brothers, we didn’t know whether you were human or not.”

“That better explains the restraints. Are you sure I’m not being arrested?”

“Is there a reason you should be arrested?”

“No. Just saying this is a lot like what they do to people who are hurt who they are arresting.”

“They usually handcuff, and use restraints, but guess that proves you’re human.”

“Yes I’m human, how did I get to New York, the D.C. from Kansas.”

“Where in Kansas do you live?”

“Lebanon, with my brothers Sam, and Dean Winchester.”

“Okay. It’ll be okay. We’ll find your brothers. We’ll get you home. We don’t know how you got to New York, we saw a flash of light, and there you were untouched by all the debris, and you had no other injuries, other than you were unconscious.”

“Then the portal kind of worked.”

“What portal?”

��I found a spell in a book to create a rift in reality. My mom is trapped in another version of our world, but we haven’t been able to find something that works. Until now, sort of. It took me to New York, but it possibly proves that with a little tweaking, we can get our mom back.”

“I’m sorry about your mom, but that doesn’t explain why we can’t find you in any system.”

“Well you kind of need my name for that don’t you?”

“Not with facial recognition.”

“That is advanced technology, and they only use it for criminals. Unless you were lying about me not being arrested.”

“No, you’re not being arrested. What is your name then so maybe we can properly identify you.”

“My name is Y/n Winchester. I grew up in Lawrence, Kansas, and have been all over the country,” I shake my head at what I just said, “I shouldn't have said any of that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m wanted for murder. A crime I didn't commit, but I can’t prove that i didn’t because you wouldn’t believe me.”

“She isn’t anything Captain Rogers. She’s just human. But the thing is, Miss Winchester, we don’t have anything on you. No date of birth, no address, no nothing.” A man with an eye patch announced, as he walked in.

“My name is Y/n Winchester, I live in Lebanon, Kansas, I was born October 13, 1981. My parents are Mary and John Winchester. I have two brothers named Dean and Sam. Dean was born on January 24, 1979. Sam was born on May 2, 1983. My brothers, and I live in Lebanon. Please, please, you have to believe me.”

“Y/n, I believe you, but it doesn’t make any sense how you are here, but it’s like you don’t exist.”

“What year is this?”

“2012?”

“May I ask your names? And where you’re from?”

“I’m Steve Rogers. I’m from Brooklyn.”

“Nick Fury. And that’s classified.” The man in the eye patch stated. He seemed very secretive, and I didn’t understand why. Guess he didn’t trust me. Which was fair.

“So Steve, Brooklyn. When were you born.”

“That is also classified.” Nick Fury said.

“So many secrets.”

“I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”

“If you knew my field of work you would know that I don’t get overwhelmed easily. My grandfather came from 1958 through a closet in our motel room. I saw my mom’s father be resurrected. I’ve seen my brothers die and come back as if nothing happened. Whatever you have to say , it won't shock me.”

“Fine. I was born July 4, 1918.”

“Wow. I mean it isn;t impossible, but I’ve never heard of a human staying alive for that long.”

“Look, I know you two want to chat about how it’s possible for the captain to have survived so long, but we need you two. Steve, I want you to train her.”

“What? Train me for what?”

“You’re not serious about this.”

“Dead serious captain. I’ll let Stark know that you have taken on this task, and that he has nothing to worry about.”

I sat there looking between the two men. I wasn’t going to be trained like a circus monkey. Whoever these men were, they were very odd, yet oddly familiar. I began to struggle in my restraints to get them to loosen up.

“Help her out of those, I fear we have a lot of work to do.”

Steve nods and comes to help me. As soons as my first hand was free, I landed a punch to his face. I loosened my other hand and began running. I ran into a bathroom and changed into my clothes. I had to get out of there, but just when I thought the coast was clear, I ran into a group of guards, and they dragged me out to a car. This was it. I was probably actually going to jail now.

We pulled up to a big building, and they let me out. I was surprised they actually trusted me to not run off this time. The men make a circle formation to probably make sure I don’t take off again. They lead me to a big open room, and they guard the door. I look around seeing if maybe Nick Fury, or Steve, were in the room. I noticed a man at the far corner window in the room looking out. I looked back at the guards thinking maybe they left a hole for me to escape.

“Don’t even try. They will kill you if I order them to, so don’t even think about trying to escape.”

“Who are you?”

He turns to face me, “My name is Alexander Pierce. I’m the director here at S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Isn’t that the thing that you use to protect yourself from enemy attacks?”

“Yes, but this organization is called S.H.I.E.L.D. It stands for…”

“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.” Nick Fury interrupted.

“Thanks for that Nick. I just wanted to meet the girl that the whole world is talking about.”

“Because of how you came to this world. It wasn’t natural.” Alexander Pierce said.

“Nothing in my life is natural. What makes this situation any different. The fact that it’s like I don’t even exist is unnatural.”

“We were able to locate the bunker in Lebanon, but there was no sign of anyone having ever lived there. It’s an old storage warehouse.” Nick Fury stated.

“Did you go inside?” I asked no believing him.

“I didn’t, but my men did. All they reported was cobwebs, and boxes that were filled with old machinery parts.”

“That’s not possible. I mean maybe the men of letters bunker might be a little dirty, but there should be something there. I mean Sam and Dean wouldn’t have found it yet, but there has to be something.”

“Men of Letters?”

“Um, they are an organization that is made of men who help protect society from threats, but no one really ever knows about them. It’s a lot safer that way.”

“We aren’t aware of any group out there like that.” Mr. Peirce spoke immediately.

“That’s kind of the point, but they were killed off back in the 50s. So, there is no one left to carry the legacy other than me and my brothers.”

“I think we should get her settled in. Get her a place set up where she can rest and gain her thoughts.” Nick Fury said, pushing me gently towards the door guarded by the men.

“Why the rush? I think she should be able to get a tour of the facility.”

“If she wants a tour, Steve Rogers can show her around. I don’t think anyone other than an Avenger should be escorting her around outside of her apartment.”

“Alright. I guess you have a point.” Mr. Pierce didn’t seem too happy about that decision.

“Mr. Rogers will show you to your place. It’s all set up for you. He has the key for you.” Nick Fury stated, ignoring Pierce.

“Thank you. I hope we get all of this straightened out soon. I don’t want to be a bother to anyone, or cause any more trouble.”

“It’s no trouble. Trust me, and we could use someone with your spunk.”

“Because I did. I'm trying to learn how people talk nowadays. It was that obvious though, huh?”

“Just a little. What do you mean how people talk nowadays? What are you like a hundred?”

“Pretty close. Like 94.”

“I was kidding.”

“Wish I was.”

“This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder.”

Steve and I walk out of the building, and he leads the way to where I would be staying. It was a tiny little apartment complex, but it looked cozy. This was where my comfort level was. In tiny cramped spaces that seemed like they wouldn't be big enough for one, but you fit 4.

“I'm on the floor just above you, so if you need anything, or just need a friend, you can come find me.” Steve smiled.

“Thank you. That's very kind of you.” He nods and goes to walk away, “Steve?”

“Yes?”

“Will you tell me how you look so young? What's your secret?”

“Super soldier serum, and being frozen in ice for 70 years.”

“I see. Very interesting combination.”

“I didn’t mean to completely catch you off guard with that.” Steve apologised.

“Don’t apologise. If you heard what I dealt with on an almost daily basis, then you would know that is not the weirdest thing, or most bizarre thing I have ever heard.”

“Good. Now go get some sleep. Fury wants to see how you train. He wants to see what makes you special.”

“Nothing. There’s your answer. I’m not special, the life I believed I lived for so long is no longer. My brothers somehow don’t exist, and I’m stuck here. I wish Cas was here right now. He would know what to do.”

“He was my boyfriend. He may go by another name, he used to be known as Jimmy Novak?”

“I’ll see what I can find, but I think you should rest.”

“Goodnight Steve.”

“Night.”

Steve walked out, and I shut the door behind him. I wasn’t used to such a nice place to live in, but here I was. Sam and Dean would have been so jealous if they saw this place. I really missed them, and I wish they were here with me. I didn’t get the chance to fix things between me and Dean, but I guess I did tell Cas I was okay if the portal closed behind me. At least I would be one step closer to finding our mom, and getting her back.

The next morning I woke up, and hoped that all of it was just a bad dream. That I had never opened that stupid portal in the first place, but alas, that was not the case. I trudged out of bed, and was going to take a shower when I heard knocking on my door.

“Y/n, it’s Steve.”

“Hold on. I’m coming.” I yelled/loudly talked back. I walked to the door and opened it letting him inside.

“I would have thought you have been up and dressed by now.”

“I would have, but I needed my beauty sleep, and time to process all of this.”

“Well, I have some good news for you, we found this Jimmy Novak guy. Fury tracked him down.”

“I really appreciate that Steve, but let me guess, he has a family.”

“That was going to be the bad news.”

“Look I really appreciate you trying, but even if Jimmy didn’t have anyone, it wouldn’t be the same.”

“Look, Fury gave me permission to take you to Lebanon to see that bunker you were talking about.”

“That would be nice. I want to see for myself that what he said he saw was truly nothing. I mean I know it probably is that way, but I have to see for myself. I have to know that my brothers truly don’t exist in this world.”

“Go and get ready. I’ll meet you downstairs when you’re ready, okay?”

“Sounds good. Thank you so much Steve.”

“Of course. I want to bring you peace for whatever is going on. I just want to help. I want to be a friend to you.”

“You have really proved that Steve. Let me go get ready, I’ll be down in an hour okay?”

“Sounds good.” He smiles, and sees himself out.

I go and take a shower quickly and dress in some of the clothes that Fury, or Steve, must have bought while I was still in the hospital. He was a really nice guy, and I really appreciated everything he has done for me. It just felt so weird to be in a place that didn’t have my brothers in it.

I got dressed quickly, and headed downstairs to meet Steve. He was standing outside in front of a nice sedan. Nicer than any car I have been in other than the back of a police car. Though, the Impala was a nice car, it still had that old timey feel which I guess is why Dean liked it so much.

“You ready?” Steve asked, opening the passenger side door for me.

“As I’ll ever be.” I smiled, and climbed in.

Steve got in the driver’s side, and started the car. He drove off heading to Kansas. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared that I wouldn’t find any answers about whether or not the Men of Letters actually existed. I didn’ know what I would do if the life I lived before waking up in that hospital was gone. I guess I would just have to wait and see.

#marvelfluffbingo2021 #spnfluffbingo2021 #dean x sister!reader #sam x sister!reader #bucky x reader #steve x reader #castiel x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #bucky barnes #steve rogers #castiel #natasha romanoff #tony stark #bruce banner #clint barton #thor #the black dove

28 notes · View notes

slowly-writing · 4 years

Text

Normal’s Boring

Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 2561

Part 2: Life Saver

a/n: This got really long, my bad. I hope you all enjoy it

Being a teenager living in the Avengers compound was a little weird. You constantly had Shield agents running in and out and there was always the fear of an attack. Maybe that was just the collective PTSD of your family, but they made sure you were always prepared. You learned how to fight and protect yourself at a young age, your mom was the Black Widow after all. The fact that you could take care of yourself didn’t change the fact that you essentially had half a dozen overprotective parents. They would all jump to protect you at the first sign of trouble. Having that many people living in one place made sure your life was never boring, that’s for sure.

“Hey, Uncle Tony!” You call as you walk into the compound after school.

“Hey, kid. How was school today?” Tony asks with a smile.

“Fine,” you say with a shrug, “schools boring, I could learn way more here.”

“C’mon, y/n. You need a well rounded education. You have to know more than just how to fight,” Tony argues.

“You guys could teach me! You and Uncle Bruce know way more about math and science than any of my teachers could ever dream of. Uncle Steve lived through all the stuff I’m learning in history right now! Did you know I learned about you guys last week? Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your mom be the topic of class? Everyone made fun of me for days! I stick out like a sore thumb!”

“I’m sorry kid, but that’s part of the experience. You gotta be around people your age sometimes.”

“Wanda’s practically my age! She’s only a few years older than me! She’d go to school with me if you all made her go,” you try and Tony shakes his head.

“This is a conversation you need to have with your mom,” he says, “I’m not getting in the middle of that fight.”

“Where is Mom, anyway?” You ask and Tony avoids eye contact.

“Last second mission, she should be back in a few days,” he explains with a sigh. Everyone knows how upset you get everytime she leaves. Not only is it frustrating that she disappears, you’re worried. You’ve lost track of all the times various members of your family have come back with injuries, some worse than others.

“Any idea where?” You ask and he shakes his head.

“That’s classified, kid. But I’m sure it’s fine. If it was big they wouldn’t have sent her in alone,” he says trying to calm you down.

“She’s alone?!” you yell and he winces.

“Okay, obviously shouldn’t have told you that. She’ll be okay, y/n. She’s the best there is. She always comes back. I promise it’ll be okay,” he says and you nod before silently leaving to go to your room.

This was the worst part of being an Avenger’s kid. Your mom disappeared constantly. You would never blame her for it, of course, she was saving lives. If it wasn’t for her missions she never would’ve adopted you

You were three years old living in Budapest with your family at the time. Hydra had popped up again and your town was caught in the cross hairs. It was chaos, people were down everywhere and buildings were on fire. You don’t remember very much, just being really scared and then suddenly Natasha and Clint were there. Natasha had taken you in her arms and gotten you to safety. You immediately felt safer in her arms. She brought you home with her, and the rest was history.

While her missions were important you couldn’t help but wish you could spend more time together. Growing up you were constantly thrown from Avenger to Avenger. Whoever was available to take care of you became the stand in parent for that week.

You shake your head softly and sit down behind your desk to start on homework.

~~~~

The next morning you were in a bad mood. Everyone was trying to help you out, but nobody quite knew your routine as well as your mom, you just wanted her to come home. Steve woke you up at 4am and you were halfway through getting ready before you realized you were going to be two hours early. You switched gears and got to train with him for a few hours though, which was fun. After a few hours you shower and start getting your stuff ready to go.

Clint had been trying to clean up yesterday and apparently moved your backpack to some mysterious location. You spent the better part of an hour searching the entire compound for it before you find it in Wanda’s room.

“I thought it was hers! You’re both teenagers. It’s hard to tell what belongs to who!” Clint argues and you roll your eyes.

“She doesn’t even go to school, Uncle Clint! Which is completely unfair by the way,” you say pointing at Wanda.

“That’s what you earn when you’re an Avenger,” she smirks and you glare.

“I’ve been here longer, I should be an Avenger by now,” you grumble, jumping on one foot trying to find your shoe.

“Here, y/n. I made you lunch,” Bruce says with a smile, handing you a paper bag.

“Thanks Uncle Bruce!” You say, pausing when you look in the bag. “Hey what kind of sandwich is this?”

“Peanut butter and jelly, why?” He asks and you grimmance as the entire room seems to stop.

“I can’t eat this.”

“Why not?” Bruce furrows his brow as Tony walks over.

“Peanut allergy, man. Are you trying to kill the kid?” Tony yells handing you a few bucks to buy lunch at school.

“Here, Wanda,” you call tossing her the bag. “A genuine school lunch, welcome to the real world.”

“Nobody tell Nat about the peanuts, she’ll flip!” Clint cuts in and you nod.

“Come on, y/n, you’re gonna miss the bus!” Steve calls and you glance at the clock.

“Uh, yeah that ship has sailed.”

“What? How? I woke you up three hours ago!” He yells and you raise your hands in surrender.

“Yell at Uncle Clint! He’s the one who hid my backpack!” you argue.

“Well why’d you leave it in the living room?”

“I’m in high school! That’s what high schoolers do! I guess I’ll just stay home today,” you try and you’re met with four simultanious eye rolls.

“Yeah right, your mom will kill us if we don’t get you to school,” Bruce says and you frown.

“Okay enough. Here, take a car,” Tony says tossing you a set of keys.

“Am I missing the part where somebody taught me to drive?” you ask looking at the keys in your hands.

“You’re seventeen! You don’t know how to drive?” Tony asks and you look around the room.

“Do you see the chaos that sprung from you guys trying to get me ready for school? Do you really think mom would’ve trusted any of you to teach me how to operate heavy machinery?”

“Why didn’t she teach you?” Bruce asks and you smile sadly.

“Do you see her here right now? She’s too busy,” you shrug and Tony sighs.

“Okay, come on. I’ll drive you,” he says leading you to the garage.

xxxxx

You sigh as you pull up to school. The expensive sports car doesn’t really help you blend in.

“Have a good day, kiddo” Tony calls after you as you head inside and you force a smile.

“Thanks, Uncle Tony.”

You can hear the whispers as you walk through the halls.

“How does she know Tony Stark?” a Sophomore whispers.

“That’s Black Widow’s kid! She, like, lives with the Avengers or something,” some Junior girl responds and you shove your hands in your pockets and hurry to class.

“Before we start today, I thought it’d be fun to discuss some more recent history. We’ll be discussing the battle of New York ,” your history teacher states and you sigh, trying to sink deeper into your seat, “Miss Romanoff, why don’t you give us a rundown of what you know.”

“An Asgardian brought an alien army down on New York. The Avengers fought him off,” you stated plainly. The teachers always called you out when it came to anything Avengers related, you hated the attention it brought.

“You must know more than that,” your teacher encouraged.

“Well yeah, my Mom and my Uncles kicked ass, but isn’t telling the class that your job?” you ask and your teacher glares.

“That’s very disrespectful Miss Romanoff. Do I need to call your Mother?”

“Like you’d have the courage to talk to her” You say with a huff, “you’d neve have get ahold of her anyway,” you grumble under your breath.

“Miss Romanoff! This is your last chance, would you like detention?” you know you’re right but you sigh.

“No, sir. I apologize.”

“Okay then, anyone else?”

“Sure made a hell of a mess in the city. It took the city months to rebuild,” a kid named Chad says and you glare.

“Let��s see you fight off an alien army! See how well you do!” You yell, slamming your hand on your desk. You can feel your face getting red.

“I’d at least-”

“Enough!” your teacher cuts you both off. “Battles always cause a mess. Look at any war in American history. Moving on, back to our discussion of World War Two”

“Your family fought in that one too. Maybe you’re the common denominator, Roamanoff,” Chad whispers from behind you and you clench your jaw, your teacher not hearing Chad’s comments.

xxxxx

“You sure are quiet without the teacher here to protect you, huh?” Chad says pushing you into the lockers, “where are your precious Avengers now?”

He punches you and goes to push you again. Your mom made you promise not to start fights when she started training you, but since he threw the first punch you have him on his back before he realizes what’s happening. He looks shocked and you roll your eyes, “I was raised by superheroes dipshit. Now run along and I won’t tell anyone how fast I had you pinned.”

He gets up rubbing the back of his head, he must’ve hit it when he fell. Your not too worried, it’s not like he can get any dumber. He looks at you over his shoulder as he practically runs down the hall. You straighten out your jacket and walk towards your next class.

xxxxxx

“Hey Uncle Steve? Can you help me with this?” you ask, walking into the living room.

“Sure, y/n. What’s your question?”

“I need to know what year Captain America started fighting during World War Two,” you say rolling your eyes.

“I’m part of your history homework?” he asks with a smirk and you nod.

“It’s kind of weird having to answer questions about my uncle for my homework.”

“I know kid, but hey, you have all the answers right here,” he teases and you smile.

“Helping my kid cheat, Rogers?” you hear from behind you and you jump up.

“Mom! You’re home!” you yell crashing into her arms, “Are you okay? How was the mission?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. It was fine, I’m okay.” She says holding you tight, “now what’s this I hear about cheating?”

“It’s not cheating, Mom!” You argue, “the questions are about him! I’m just cutting out the middleman!”

“You’re learning about your Uncle Steve in school?” your mom asks, her brow furrowed, and you nod.

“I learn about all of you,” you tilt your head, “did you guys not realize that? We talked about the battle of New York today. Almost got me sent to the office,” you grumble, crossing your arms.

“What was that?” your Mom raises an eyebrow.

“My teacher wanted me to tell everyone about it! Just because you fought in it! I’m not the teacher! That’s not my job! It’s his! It’s not my fault my family got mixed up in every damn battle in the history of the world” you argue and your mom sighs.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

“What, why?” you ask, confused at the change of tone.

“It can’t be easy, living the life you do. You should get to live a normal life. I should’ve thought of this before bringing you home,” she says, looking down and shaking her head.

“Are you… are you saying you wish you didn’t adopt me?” you asks softly, tears welling up in your eyes. “I know it’s hard having a kid, but you still get to do your job. You’re gone all the time anyway-”

“Hey y/n, no!” her head snaps up and she takes your hands, “adopting you was the best thing I’ve ever done. Don’t think for a second that I regret bringing you home. Honey, does it upset you that I’m gone so much?” she questions and you look at the ground.

“Kinda,” you shrug, “I miss you a lot and everything’s a mess without you. Uncle Steve woke me up too early because he didn’t know what time I got up and I missed the bus and I couldn’t drive myself because I never learned how and Uncle Bruce tried to give me peanuts and I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Please don’t be mad-” you start spiralling and your mom cuts you off.

“Y/n, look at me. I’m not mad,” she says softly, wiping the tears you didn’t even realize had begun falling from your eyes.

“I just get really scared everytime you leave. What if you don’t come back?” you whisper and she shakes her head.

“Love, I will always come back. I promise.”

“But you can’t promise that!” You yell, “people don’t always come back! My birth parents died on one of your missions. I can’t lose you too.”

“Okay, it’s okay,” she pulls you into her arms and you hold on tight. “How about this, I can cut back. I can’t promise I’ll never go on missions, but I can make sure I’m home more. I can teach you how to drive, and I can help you with your homework. I’ll make sure Bruce never touches your food again and I’ll make sure you can have a normal life.’

“Normal’s boring,” you cut in softly, “if I had a normal life I wouldn’t have been able to knock Chad on his ass when he punched me.”

“He what now?” Your mom pulls back with a glare and you’re suddenly very scared for Chad’s life. Your mom is an assassin after all.

“He was making fun of you guys and we got in a fight. But he only got one hit in! You told me not to start a fight and I didn’t! I waited until he did.”

Your mom shakes her head and pulls you into her arms again.

“I’m glad your home,” you bury your face in her shoulder, “I really missed you.”

“I missed you too, love. What about a movie night, just me and you?”

“Yeah!” you look up, seeing Steve has already disappeared and your mom leads you over to the couch.

You cuddle close to her as the movie starts, the safest place in the world to you is still in her arms. Sure, you may not have a normal life, but normal is overrated anyway.

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moontheoretist · 3 years

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Notes from tie-in MCU comics:

Part 1:

[DISCLAIMER: I was making those notes without actually writing down from which comic they come from, so now I am... well... confused about the proper placement of them, but I tried to discern them anyway.]

CAPTAIN AMERICA THE FIRST AVENGER:

Lol, Zola was developing exo-skeleton looking like Iron Man suit and Vanko's suit in 1934. I kind of think part of Steve's dislike of Iron Man was because of that exo-suit. Also, Steve just saved the guy in a suit.

"The chain is only as strong as its weakest link" said twice to Steve, once by military doctor and second by Schmidt.

Poor Erskine, his family was taken as hostages.

Howards says "carefully open the casing". Steve does smash instead.

Oh no, Red Skull said that weapon can always be taken from you so you have to become the weapon. It echoes the sentiment behind the creation of Iron Man too closely.

Lol, Roosevelt ASKED for Howard PERSONALLY.

"Car is bulletproof!" "and a convertible!" is a funny joke xD

Lol he has bulletproof car because of cigarette's girls angry boyfriends.

Ok, so Howard joined SSR because he HAD BEST FUN IN MONTHS.

Howard has rockets in car and "leaves best toys for himself".

First Steve saves a Nazi from a tank, now he obliterates them with said tank. Pick a side, Steve. I know guy in the armor was helpless, but c'mon. You either don't kill or kill. You cannot just willy nilly choose. BTW does it echo saving Iron Man or smth?

Call back to floating car by a joke about floating tank.

Aw, no, Erskine's family died in concentration camp from typhus. (Those camps were awful, but are not shown in the comics. You better believe that they weren’t very nice places to live even without being overworked and killed by the Nazis).

Oh no, Bucky was nearly killed by SSman! But Howling Commandos stopped him.

Bucky doesn't like his name lol. Also no Jimmy nickname for this guy.

Ok so Howard Stark was based on Hughes and Tony was based on someone Howard hated - Oppenheimer.

Ok, now Phillips made a foreshadowing for Cradle in the AoU. It even looks similar to Project Rebirth.

Oho my theory that Erskine heard Bucky talk to Steve and that doctor knew Steve lied is proved in this comics. They knew, they had a file on him and Erskine just picked him, saving his stupid ass from consequences.

Cap just threw a knife.

IRON MAN 2:

In the comics it looks more as if Obadiah sold Vanko instead of Howard, because Howard looks so surprised at what Vanko did, that it is impossible to assume that he was the one who sent the agents after Vanko. He looks surprised at the whole incident, Vanko betraying him and agents being there to apprehend him. One agent acts as if it was Howard's idea all along, but that line could be also read as just informing a bystander that they will deal with the issue instead.

Tony projected a drone which could clean whole desert full of mines with 100% accuracy and 0% detonation.

Also comics confirm that Tony cannot even have 12h break without Howard coming at him and demanding him to work when he is just a goddamn teenager.

Tony was just fighting for 19h, got a shower and has to go out again.

"If I hear of another innocent being put in a harm's way just to advance some pointless military agenda... there will be consequences" sounds like call back to Hulk.

Hm, Tony made 12 people work on one job? Also Natasha hates being called Nat and she drugged Samantha (the actual PA which applied for Stark Industries) to take her place.

[As of now those comics confirmed to me that Captain America joined army out of selfish reasons and that Tony was overworking himself as Iron Man and when he wasn't he was either partying, probably to relax in that way, or making new tech which saves lives.]

Lol, Coulson was so excited to look for Captain. Nick even made a joke about finding his fav action figure.

Lol, World Security Council wanted to get Tony's weapons and nearly fired Fury for trying to make Avengers.

Fury is like Tony. He hates his superiors. He will do as they say but won't stop doing what he does.

Lol, Fury got a call Tony will be dead and he jumped out of his goddamn bed asap.

Fury was actively stopping Stern from getting Iron Man by scheduling his meeting with Department of Defense "when Stern is busy" xD

Lol Fury says no to Ross before he hears what he wants. This is so funny.

Ok, so Fury got Lithium Dioxide for Tony, asked if it could be made into permanent cure, how sweet of him, but also learned that it could INSTANTLY KILL HIM instead and still made Natasha basically inject Tony with it WITHOUT CONSENT! So I dunno if he really cared about him when he asked about permanent cure or it was just more optimal for his plans. Also he got the cure during Tony's and Rhodey's battle at the mansion, so we cannot say he had a cure and didn't give it right away when he could.

"Don't blow your cover unless Stark is going to kill himself". Hm. So he wants him alive.

And yeah, he ordered Natasha to stick him with lithium dioxide when he distracted him.

Lol, Fury yelled at Coulson for letting Tony leave the mansion xD

THOR??? (I got lost in my notes, I didn’t write which comic was which)

LOL CLINT CANNOT EVEN TAKE VACATION. Also the speed with which he responded to possible alien crashsite, epic. He jumped and went as if it was Christmas, aww Clint.

Why Clint is giving money back to some store which suffered due to their operation? I mean it was nice and all, but who will give the money back to Clint? Fury?

So it was Hawkeye's idea to let Thor loose.

In the meantime Loki was on scene and tried to get Mjolnir but it didn't respond.

AVENGERS PRELUDE:

Oho, poor Fury, didn't sleep in a few days.

Oho, Fury yelled at Natasha.

"Do not let Ross take Banner, dead or alive". How cute of you, Nick, to confirm that you do not care.

Blonsky is suicidal. Going at Hulk and kicking him in the face? That's a death wish.

Ah so Blonsky is enhanced.

Hahaha, joke about lifting a hammer but applied to the Asgardian sentinel, lol.

Ross literally accessed SHIELD databases.

Natasha was raised in Stalingrad lol.

After seeing Hulk, Abomination and The Leader Natasha finally says it is too much to handle for SHIELD.

Oho, so making Tony finish Howard's project was an objective, not saving his life. He wanted it for Tesseract.

I dunno if he is lying or really was doing this whole shit for the Tesseract. Also points for sticking in WSC's face that Ross nearly destroyed New York thanks to them.

Shield has whiplash suit and it's arc reactor!

THEY ACTIVATED THE SENTINEL AND THEN THEY WANT TO DISMANTLE IT AND MAKE DOZENS SMALL ONES!

Huh, implication that Natasha may beat the whole bunker of SHIELD agents up, because they're men, lol.

So Selvig used the element Stark invented to kick-start the Tesseract after all.

"Good for a laugh from time to time" lol. Clint the comedian.

Why that machine holding a Tesseract looks like Arc Reactor?

Huh so Selvig was Loki and he made a comment about Tony being strange for "badassium".

BLACK WIDOW BACKGROUND IN ONE OF THE COMICS, DUNNO WHICH:

Natasha talks about her cover personalities like vtubers about their avatars.

Fjodorov knows something about stolen bootleg technology of Tony Stark which he managed to acquire?

Natasha really likes narrating her story. Time slows when you have a training? Like roller coaster on first ridge?

"With some small regret, I bid farewell to Tatiana. She's outlived her usefulness" thinks Natasha after she took off her wig and no longer plays Tatiana. "If she were real. She'd be dead". "It's nice though, to pretend while it lasts... that I was ever as innocent as her".

Natasha really likes playing those roles.

Haha, Natasha holds one mission over Coulson's head forever even though he never failed as her control again.

"Part of the reason why I am so good at the undercover work is that I actually like being other people. There is a lot I've done that I regret. When I leave that other identity behind, whether I slip out from underneath it voluntarily or it's ripped away from my grasp, it always hits me like a shock. Like being awakened from a deep sleep, back to who I really am". "It's good to be home". Is she speaking about her slip into Black Widow again as home or is she referring to Russia?

Natasha left a guy dangling from a building and said it could be worse, he could be naked.

"Good man" says Natasha as if she was training guys to obey her will.

Oho, Natasha is interested in someone who wants to be her.

Also she is narrating that police in Russia would not suspect Tatiana to be so resourceful.

Natasha wants to save that girl from herself, because nobody did that for her when she was in the same position.

I mean, Natasha killed some people that day already so I don't get the point of her not killing those guys and saying that she changed, when in the club she killed a few of the goons already and later too. Where is the point of her change if she kills anyway? What is this change about Black Widow - Natasha Romanoff if she kills people but just not always? She cannot claim to change for the better just because she didn't kill two goons. And Sofia should see that not killing all of them doesn't mean she doesn't kill at all. But I guess leaving so many alive still counts for Sofia as Natasha going soft.

Coulson, you idiot, I am happy you came to save Natasha, but Sofia thought those guys were Natasha's back up. It all wouldn't happen if not for you making them appear there. You fucked up everything for Natasha, Coulson.

Uh, Natasha has the same weird shtick Tony does. She blames herself for the decision of her superior? Yeah, she enabled him to make that decision, but it was still his decision to send those men to find Natasha, so their death is on him, not on Natasha.

Huh, so Natasha's model persona Konn feels empty when nobody looks at her, because her whole life was being the centre of attention? It's kind of sexist cover.

She is a hand model and this guy is disgusting. Natasha I agree with those YUCK.

Natasha doing tehee is so weird.

Also playing a "he sent me here so hours would fly by" is so gross, but inner Natasha voice says nothing yet.

Lol the guy just assumed she is stupid, because she made tehee sounds. Like, goddammit, men are so easy to fool. Condescending little creep indeed.

Ok, so Natasha doesn't have any computer knowledge to say what those lines of code are, but she knows Stark can.

Ugh, Natasha, that line about telling his friends that they did something he imagines is so not feminist of you. It just enables creeps like that to objectify women more and treat them like idiots and fucktoys.

Sofia killed the agent even when Natasha gave her what she wanted.

Natasha wants to save lives and often fails at it too.

She jumped off the yacht to save the guy even though she knew he is dead? I mean shot in the head usually means instant death.

She doesn't get lines of code but can upload tracking device on it. Good. Also she wanna kill Sofia now.

"When I go in for the kill, there's no one I'd rather be than who I really am".

Ah so they had a targeting software for the copy of the Jericho missile manufactured by Hammer.

So they were moving Jericho in parts around the world. They should be happy Tony didn't notice. (Because then they would all just go boom and be dead lol).

"Berserk bots a girl's best friends!"

Frampton wants to have space tourism.

Ten Rings again.

Why Frampton wants to strike Korean DMZ?

Aha, global destabilisation for Ten Rings, gotcha.

Oho, so the info about Natasha busting the trafficking ring comes back. It turns out she accidentally trapped the girls inside when she busted the place. She basically says she didn't know they were there but even if she did she wasn't nice back then.

So Natasha says that Sofia was more her than she ever was, meaning the Black Widow, meaning that Natasha always had softness in her which Sofia didn't have and that Sofia got her just reward for wanting to be the perfect Black Widow.

Still sexist move to make a victim of sex trafficking ring become a morally corrupt murderer who would destabilise world for free if she could, but does that for money, because money is nice addition to her new hobby of fucking humanity up.

"Some people are not worth saving" Not so long ago plenty would say that about me".

AVENGERS:

Oho Stark Tower is the first fully clean-energy powered skyscraper.

Pepper thinks inside the box and Tony thinks outside the box.

Oh, so Tony still says that Rhodey had stolen the suit, but then he admits that it could give him heart attack, because it was not calibrated for him, so I wonder if he really wanted Rhodey to have it or never wanted Rhodey to have it at all.

"I got them to agree that all starktech remains proprietary to you as long as War Machine is on loan to the department of defense".

Lol wow, War Machine was an insult? Anyway he means that Rhodey won't be using Mark II because Tony has new suit for him.

"I am not Iron Man" people yell Iron Man at Rhodey "Ah, forget it" xD

How is Tony saying that he couldn't find anything to go after Gulmira when he was literally busting Ten Rings in Iron Man 2 tie-in comic?

Hahaha, Rhodey wanna get a publicist so people would recognise he is War Machine, not Iron Man.

Rhodey is so vicious. "I could have taken your hand with it but not doing it is more fun".

Oho so Tony THREE MONTHS after Tony was putting S on Stark Tower there is Battle of New York and Rhodey is in Hong Kong.

Incoming call: Martini, seriously? You call Tony MARTINI?

Also for some reason this Tony has blue eyes.

Rhodey is so cocky lol. "I haven't seen anything that can take me down".

"When am i gonna learn to keep my mouth shut?" xDDD Rhodey cursed himself.

So after Iron Man 2 Tony realised that he couldn't be iron solder alone anymore and made Rhodey an armor? Still, trust was a huge factor here.

Lol did he just make a joke about being so beat up as after clubbing with Tony to a commanding officer? Rhodey, you vicious little shit lol xD

"Battle tank that's about to make me street pizza! But only if I stand and take it, which I have never done in my life". That's useful info. It gives me some insight into who was protecting who at MIT. Rhodey never was taking a crap of other people, so he probably was used to fighting bullies. And I can imagine him standing up to bullies who targeted a kid - Tony Stark.

Rhodey chooses to fight smarts with smarts.

DID HE JUST MAKE HIS WAY OF LANDING A FRIGGIN MISSILE STYLE? XD

His commander asks if he is crazy. He definitely friggin is lol.

Rhodey just gave his superior a scare when he let a tank run him over. They thought he died.

OMG Ten Rings assumed War Machine is easier target to get tech from and Rhodey feels offended, but happy they know who he is.

Rings had stark tech in that tank, oh no. Tony will be pissed even if those are old black market stuff.

AWWW RHODEY WAS WORRIED ABOUT TONY WHEN HE DIDN'T RESPOND!

"Don't do this to me, man". "Holy...! That was SOME situation" says Rhodey when he saw chitauri flying whale dead. Ok so Avengers met Rhodey in that shawarma place.

Pepper decorates according to feng shui?

So Ten Rings scanned Rhodey's armor with any scanner available and collected a lot of data on the armor anyway.

#mcu critical #mcu #steve rogers critical #mcu comics #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #thor #rhodey #hawkeye #avengers

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steve0discusses · 4 years

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Yugioh Episode 30 Season 4: The Dead Joey Shuffle

Lets ignore everything happening on planet Earth right now and talk about old ass anime, shall we? Yes, my sky turned a horrible end of the world yellow/orange color for an entire day because of a LOT of fire in my state. But thankfully, the winds have changed, the sky is blue...and I can write about Yugioh again.

Last we left off, Tristan, Tea, and Yami stumbled across two fresh corpses. Now, when Joey died a season or two ago (I honestly can’t remember when), we had my favorite storyboarder at the helm just sweeping emotion all over the field and the intense weeping for Joey Wheeler lasted for like 30 minutes. Yugi freaked out in the puzzle headspace for like half an episode and nearly gave up playing cards again, Yami punched a wall and then put a duel disk on Joey’s arm like a funerary send off to the afterlife, Tea started losing her mind and begged Yugi to drop out of the tourney so Yugi wouldn’t die, and Pharaoh was like “yo Tea, Yugi can’t talk right now can we do this later????” And then Tristan, out of nowhere, just started shaking Joey and screaming at him to wake up (and I think he punched him in the face and it got censored? Yo that episode is wild.) Joey got plugged to some Kaiba Corp med bay that had like 2 dozen weird sensors attached to his chest and feet to keep him alive. Serenity was like hyperventilating in the back, just a LOT of stuff was happening all at once.

But this time, with an ordinary animation team, these three kids are so distracted by the other corpse, that they only cry just a little bit before being like “woah what?”

And like this is their second time. Maybe they’ve gotten used to Joey being dead? Maybe they got it all out of their system and are now a lot more accustomed to the fact that they all must die. Several times.

Confronted with this Agatha Christie brand debacle, Tristan makes an incredible reach that is also completely correct. Like this is such an amazing incredible reach.

Hire Tristan as your detective, hot damn. There are like 7.8 billion Orichalcos-possessed people on this planet right now trying to kill Joey Wheeler and Tristan actually called the right one.

Yami never tells us who he blames, but it’s OK, because the show immediately cuts over to Dartz’ silicon valley fortress to tell us without telling us. So while this animation team isn’t as insanely extra as our previous animation teams, they still know how to edit their cuts to work alongside their dialogue just fine.

(read more under the cut)

Lets take a little while to just take this in. Someone took a while to make it, so rather than look at it for half a second before it passes--please lets count the number of floating streets in this scene.

So before when I talked about the history of San Francisco, I mentioned the old Embarcadero, which was a double decker street wrapped around the peninsula. (we still see parts of this double decker set up on parts of the highway to this day.) But what if--they actually have no idea that the Embarcadero was a thing before it fell down in an earthquake?

What if they just...wanted San Francisco to be vaguely cyberpunk in this universe and that floating freeway was supposed to be futuristic and not just an 80′s throwback?

Because there’s 3 streets stacked on top of eachother right here and yo there is no where in the city built like this. This is a Gotham situation where the poors live on the lower levels and the rich just kind of hang out on the top. We have too many Earthquakes in reality to ever support this setup but Yugioh...wow. They went for it.

Also, our art deco architecture isn’t quite in this style as Dartz’ mansion. Mind you, this isn’t full deco, and the structure has more of an ancient world vibe. But...while San Fransisco does have a lot of deco, it’s just different (sorry you’re not really here for the architecture but youknow, I’m an artist so I do think a lot about why concept artists may have gone where they went)

++++++++++RANT ABOUT SF DECO VS COMIC BOOK DECO FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

So I’m not going to dare say this is a mistake on the Yugioh team by any means, since Deco is Deco and who knows when Dartz built that building. But like I’ve seen the SF skyline many times in this show and it’s got some funky shapes in it that are just sooo off to me. They keep drawing a more Futurist New York. Truth is, we don’t have that many skyscrapers in SF.

Most of the pictures you see of scaling buildings are of this one area around the financial district--everything else is...pretty short. So in those photos they very carefully crop out all the really squat as hell buildings on either side of it, to give the impression that our city is super tall, much like a dating app.

And, as far as Art Deco Gotham-esque skyscrapers go, we got ones like this guy:

Where at a glance it’s like...that’s barely deco (and barely that impressive. This is 1/3 the height of the Empire State building.) Compared to a lot of cities in America, our skyscrapers aren’t as...clearly deco from far away? We don’t have the huge ass humps and long ass gilded lines of the Empire State building or the Chrysler building. You only really get those details when you zoom in.

Our other skyscrapers are kinda understated or modern in comparison. And the reason why we just don’t have many deco skyscrapers is because...our ground ain’t good for building skyscrapers at all, so it took us kind of a while to build up.

Like we got this tower that we built recently (the first skyscraper they built in SF in a good while) and they decided to name it the “The Millennium Tower” which...I know...good job, team, clearly you wanted to get cursed. Well the tower started leaning about 3 or 4 years ago, like well over a foot from it’s original spot, it’s just tilting and sinking away, and people are freaking out because it’s surrounded by other tall buildings so they’re like “damn it we’re gonna dominoes.” The people in charge were like “well...we don’t know why it’s leaning...but I’m sure it’s fine” and it’s like “the ground. It was the ground...you dumbasses” not to mention that it’s clearly cursed by at least one angry Egyptian Ghost but...what do you do?

I would absolutely watch the Yugioh spinoff season about the Millennium Tower and the SF tycoons that got possessed by a ghost and have to play card games to keep their tower from squishing all of San Francisco. Yo you should hire me, Yugioh, I got IDEAS.

Man...Yugioh predicting the future, how did they call the ill fate of The Millennium Tower????

But anyway, most skyscrapers in SF are kind of boring because they have to be sturdy as hell. But, they have some neat modern shapes (like the Transamerica Pyramid--in the shape of A PYRAMID that hasn’t shown it’s face once this entire Egyptian influenced anime)

I mean, come on Yugioh, it’s right there.

Also the hell is this weird UFO on this picture I lifted off of google?

Like I think it’s 4 jets?

I may have lifted this from an alien website, so forgive me, q-anon for lifting your image, I’m trying to talk about architecture in my Yugioh blog.

In fact the only building I (and google) can think of that is both really tall and deco-ey is this one:

And it’s a Marriot hotel built in the late 80′s. And honestly, it looks way more 1980′s Las Vegas than it does Deco. (It honestly looks like photobashing but made real, this is a weird building.)

And I could be wrong and overlooking a very important structure, but most of the city’s really cool art deco buildings are in the form of theaters, libraries, churches, schools, and houses--which are only a few stories tall. They’re gorgeous buildings with cool and different silhouettes, it’s just not very big.

Like I believe this is an old high school?

also a lot of our “art deco” has no idea if it’s victorian, deco, or art noveau so they’ll just hit all of it to see what sticks. It’s a lot more eclectic than other places where Deco is typically more...straight-lined. I kinda hate defining art styles as masculine or feminine but honestly it’s the quickest way to really hit home the difference between a Bruce Timm art deco that you’d see in a comic book, (which is very New York inspired) and what we have in San Fransisco which is really decorative and decadent.

The Yugioh SF just has no curvy nonsense and that really sticks out to me.

Ornate swirls get shoved Everywhere. Willy nilly. Just everywhere randomly. And it sits next to other structures that are modern and simplistic. It’s very San Francisco to have this old world next to new world.

And it makes sense. SF is the other side of the continent from New York, and about as far West as you can go from the movement going on in Europe. So...we made our own take and tl;dr the art deco in our city doesn’t look like Gotham at all.

And, while it’s not as grand or dark or iconic, it’s a good thing. It’s what helps make San Fransisco look really unique compared to other American cities--the fact that we're...short and eclectic. Our district with the skyscrapers is where it’s kinda boring, actually--the good stuff is when you get away from that. Where every little building has a spunky wild personality.

But in a show like this you gotta make it seem more grand and less homely so--they scaled up the buildings a lot more than we really have and homogenized all the stylings into one (and they axed every Victorian swirl because they don’t want to draw that). They really just turned SF into comic book New York--especially since I’ve only seen like...one steep hill since we got here.

It’s fine, and it makes complete sense why they did it, (I’m more confused as to why most of California is a Nevada desert so I can easily forgive a San Francisco without the right Deco) it’s just a very different energy.

and honestly...it’s an energy influenced by the tone of the show. Everything has a very dark blue-gray palate, and it’s because it’s literally the end of the world, Joey has died, everyone is sad...maybe it would be out of place to have a building that looks like it sparks joy? The harsh and cold lines do add to the gravity of the situation.

Maybe I would have done the same thing? In the end, the legibility of your story matters more than the accuracy of your story--especially when it comes to TV. Which is somewhat a controversial statement, and there’s exceptions when it comes to cultural stuff. But while the culture of San Fransisco was erased (a culture that they did draw in the beginning of the season! they did show alcatraz, a trolly, and the golden gate!), it is at a point in the show where...all of humanity is being erased anyway. Could also be symbolic? Maybe?

+++++++++++++END OF THE ART DECO RANT+++++++++++++

So anyway, stepping away from lovely buildings and into this gross ass abandoned park, Yami decides he’s gotta get himself to this gaudy ass Batman building ASAP.

He can ride a horse but he absolutely will not ride a motorcycle. Or touch Joey Wheeler’s dead body.

Which is wild because apparently there’s a Yugioh spinoff where all they do is ride motorcycles??? But from what I heard, Yami is not in it. Which is the most wild thing.

So uh...you know how much I love art details, lets take a long look at this one.

AH no.

Nope nope nope nope.

I hate this logo. It looks like an emperor penguin’s eyebrow thingies. Like a face with just four huge eyebrows.

Not sure why we randomly have a new logo. It’s nearly the end of the season, we’ve already shown the Orichalcos logo so many times. Was this episode made earlier in development than the rest? Is that why there were like - I dunno, put this random logo here... Maybe we’ll figure out the rest of the logo later?

I don’t know. This weird logo feels so out of place.

And then because I’m thinking about buildings...maybe it’s influenced by our Shell building?

Maybe? Or not? Just saying you got a round thing with radial lines hovering over a trellis...the possibility is there that they were inspired but had to edit it down for animation? Eh, I’m reaching desperately for anything that looks like San Francisco at this point.

Anyways, the front door of this building is an elevator (????) and in a somewhat confusing set of cuts, out of this elevator comes the murderer herself.

And she’s dead.

SO HAPPY I didn’t have to watch that card game but like...c’mon. There’s no way Mai would lose to Raphael.

Maybe that’s why they couldn’t show it? Because she’s the only person on this show who uses a themed deck with cards that actually sync with eachother? (outside of Pegasus’ toon deck and Grandpa’s voltron deck ((sorry it’s name isn’t voltron, I’ve forgotten the name of the robot that you build out of other cards. Exodus? Exodysseus?

It’s Exodia isn't it? Wtv. 2020′s been a real long one, all y’all.)) )

(don’t ask where the smoke came from, we don’t know. Maybe Yami felt like making it to be more aesthetic. It is a fun visual tic to the show.)

So Yami goes into this elevator instead of anticipating that this is obviously a trap. Like most would just decide to take the stairs instead, but Yami loves falling for a good obvious trap every once and a while (or, in the case of this season--each and every single time a trap is placed in front of him) and so this takes him directly to the fightclub roof of yore.

Ah. We started this season on fightclub roof, in like...2010 or whenever I started this season. Feels like forever ago. How long has the year of 2020 been? 20 years of my life? 40 years of my life? Was I in fact never born before 2020 started? I honestly don’t remember anymore who I was before this year happened. Probably because I inhaled just a hell ton of wildfire smoke and now my brain is a bunch of jelly beans rattling around in a jar.

Anyway, Raphael just hands Yami (by hands I mean throws aggressively) Joey’s dragon card.

A little unsure why he’d do this since...this is the weapon to destroy Dartz. Why are you giving it back to the Pharaoh? But apparently, Raphael did that to prove that he is the murderer of Mai, who murdered Joey and...youknow...the stuff that we know but would be pretty difficult for the people in this show to follow.

Mai’s voice actor seeing “Mumbo-Jumbo” and being like “Well if I’m doing this, I’m going to commit.“

WE ARE NEVER DUELING DARTZ.

I refuse that a duel with Dartz, in fact, ever happens in this season.

Kind of surprised whenever I see there’s still people left. SF is basically abandoned in comparison.

Thing is...that’s just SF on a holiday weekend.

And then, because Tristan’s in the middle of the street, the rest of the party has to try and run him over.

It is really funny to me that Seto went out of his way to ditch these people so MANY times, but keeps ending up around them again and again, and each time in a wildly different vehicle, each and every time it’s when these guys need a lift...he’s very quickly turning into the group’s soccer mom. Should’ve gotten a minivan.

And then this happens?

I’ll just leave this here:

I’m sure that fanfic writers everywhere rejoiced when Seto reached out a hand to catch Joey’s face from hitting the pavement. In all this was a bizarre animation and now that I’ve figured out my blender settings for the new update, I can finally cap little segments again.

Just don’t you dare flag me, tumblr. Hopefully segments less than 10 seconds long are fine.

Like there was this part where they had to just drag around Joey’s corpse over this rail, and it was Mokuba and Tristan just prying him up there like he were a potato sack and like...

...Joey’s gonna wake up with so many rail-shaped bruises! They do not treat him gently!

Then back on fightclub roof, Raphael made me do a bit of a double take when he accidentally implied the existence of another bean within that Pharaoh bean.

And no, Bakura did not show up at this point.

I would LOVE IT if Pharaoh biffed it a second time and Bakura suddenly took the reigns and was like “Oi loves! that was bloody easy!” but I...have a feeling that this team didn’t actually watch the episodes where Bakura is just vibing in that puzzle piece.

If this never comes back to bite Pharaoh in the ass...

It might never come back guys...I don’t know. How do these writers have this much self control to ignore Bakura for like a full season. How do you do it? I can’t hold a plot twist in for even like 5 seconds. How....how do you do it?

Anyways, now that Seto has Tea who has a map, they walk up to the entrance (I honestly forgot if they drove or walked because knowing this show, Seto would absolutely ignore the car. Either way, the Ferrari isn’t necessary anymore. Written right out of the script. Cars are hard to draw. Get rid of it)

You know, Mokuba’s seen an awful lot of corpses for a kid! Like 20ish corpses if you count the 2 times the Big 5 biffed it. Really should have left him with Rebecca! Youknow, the other kid the same age as him!

But it’s fine, we gotta train Mokuba to suppress that trauma deep, deep down like a proper Kaiba.

Youknow when I started this series I was like “I don’t get why everyone talks about the Kaibas so much, these two seem kinda like whatever” but now I’m on like S4 and like...I’m SO concerned about the Kaibas. With Yugi...whatever...he’s gonna be fine, but the Kaibas? Oh boy. Either one of them could go completely evil and I’d buy it.

And probably root for them.

And I know they won’t go full tilt, I’m pretty sure--but like...they COULD. I can’t say that about the rest of the cast.

Everyone’s made it!

Even joey’s weird coma/dead body for some reason!

Lol also I love this random sci-fi tech water tower next to Tea. What is that?

My drought senses are screaming, is that a huge ass water tower the size of a 4 story building next to Tea? Chances are, it’s got a jet in it or something because this is Yugioh, but...man. At least it doesn’t look like one of those rusty New York rooftop water towers. This show just completely not getting what SF looks like.

Whatever, he can resurrect the leviathan, maybe Dartz can make water?

Youknow, all you have to do to make California worship you forever is make rain. Screw this lizard nonsense. The man can power water. What’s he doing with this stupid snake?

But youknow, Yugioh just never really figures out how to harness the weather. They CAN and they do it all the time. But, do they use it for their benefit? Like freakin never.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I went on a looong rant about SF but maybe I’m just sick of my own house? Been a lot of fire and quarantine over here. It’s been messing with my head a fair amount so thanks for bearing with me and my weird ass update schedule (remember when I used to be productive? Was that just a dream I once had?)

But if you just got here, here’s a link to read these recaps in order, from the beginning way back in S1.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

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starkerparkerpony · 4 years

Text

AU where Tony (44-45 y/o) meets an aged up (23-24 y/o) Peter after Civil War, Tony is broken up with Pepper and all kinds of sorry for himself. Peter is a ESU graduate and currently has an internship with Oscorp and is a photographer for the Daily Bugle he is also spiderman and therefore perpetually exhausted and has very little patience.

(It's been a while since I wrote something, please consider reblogging)

I scold because I stan

Tony was starting to get sick of himself.

The self hatred and self pity were starting to crescendo, which was shedding a lot of light on how he got to and where Tony currently was in his life.

Spangle's betrayal shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

The breakup with Pepper shouldn't have been as painful as it was.

He shouldn't miss the team as much as he did.

Vision injuring Rhodey shouldn't have felt like a personal failure but it did.

Speaking of personal failures, the accords shouldn't have scattered more than half of the planet's protectors in the wind all while labeling them 'war criminals' but they had.

And Tony was sick of himself because his centrally heated penthouse shouldn't be haunted by a Serbian cold but it was.

Because his heartbeat shouldn't feel like someone trying to jackhammer the arc reactor into his sternum sometimes... but it did.

So he decided to go out because his inner 'self hatred' voice was starting to sound too much like his father and that was about the last straw for Tony.

A baseball cap, coat and muffler later, Tony Stark was roaming the streets of New York but then it was too fucking cold for that so he quickly ducked into a cozy looking Irish pub.

He quickly scanned the place for a place to sit, it was pretty packed except for a booth which was occupied by one person who had their head down on the table and appeared to be, best case scenario, dozing off or worst case scenario, passed out.

Appropriate company for the kind of evening he was having he thought to himself as he made his way to the booth.

A waiter came to take his order and Tony took it upon himself to order a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. If he was gonna get hammered in a public place against all good sense then atleast he was gonna do it with some company... even if said company was seemingly unconscious.

When the waiter put down the glasses, his boothmate woke up. And Tony was confronted with a gorgeous guy with stunning brown eyes, he was sporting a rather sizable shiner over his left one but it did absolutely nothing to detract from his attractiveness.

"Jesus Christ... are you actually Tony Stark? Or am I hallucinating?" The guy asked quietly.

"I was hoping you wouldn't recognize me." Tony wrinkled his nose as he admitted.

"That's either a scathing comment on your perception of the general public's intellect or humility which absolutely does not go with the reputation that precedes you," the guy scoffed.

Huh... he's sharp and quick Tony thought.

"A little bit of both. The hat usually, miraculously works." Tony explained

"Don't judge me but I've had an entire wall dedicated to your face ever since your first Rolling Stone cover... the hat wasn't gonna work on me."

"That's a lot to unpack from a stranger"

"I'm Peter Parker."

"You know who I am."

Peter's face split into an overjoyed smile when Tony said that. It was a ridiculous 'only in New York' kinda thing to find yourself in the same booth as Iron Man in your local pub and Peter really needed this after the day he'd had. He was still completely terrified that at any moment Tony would accuse him of being Spiderman and make him sign the accords but he was also gonna let himself relax and enjoy meeting his hero a little.

"I'm not a billionaire expert but shouldn't you be drinking at a much upper scale place than this?" As amazed as he was, Peter was also perplexed by Tony's presence in the pub.

"There's a lot about me that absolutely does not go with the reputation that precedes me. You just admitted to me that you have a wall dedicated to my face and then brushed past it like it was nothing..." Tony said, incredulous.

"You're pretty, you're an amazing scientist, you build robots and are a superhero because of a badass armour you made that can fly. I'm a nerd and bisexual, it's is nothing, just nature basically," Peter waved him off as he started to pour the whiskey for them.

Surprisingly enough Tony's cheeks were a little flushed by the time Peter looked up, which made him think that maybe there isn't much accurate about the reputation that precedes Tony Stark.

"Hmm... who did that to your face?" Tony asked about the shiner Peter was sporting.

"Umm... a girl was getting mugged, I tried to play hero, you should see the other guy as the saying goes" Peter shrugged.

"Wow good for you... could've ended badly though." Tony's chest was unexpectedly and rather worryingly tight hearing about the danger Peter had been in.

"I know... I lost a loved one to a mugging gone wrong but the girl needed help, I didn't really have a choice."

It was like hearing those words was the straw that broke the camel's back for Tony. Because he completely understood what Peter meant. Tony never really felt like he had a choice either and whether or not Peter was ready to have a lot of information about the Avengers and his 'face wall' buddy Iron Man's wretched life choices, he was gonna be vented at like there was no tomorrow. Because Stark men don't go to therapy, they drink and speak very fast at unsuspecting civilians.

So Tony talked and Peter listened, about how the star spangled man with a plan is a fucking douchebag, how fucking hurt he felt that Nat, Clint and Wanda would still choose him over Tony, how he hasn't been able to look Rhodey in the eye since Germany and probably never will be, how easily things fell apart with Pepper even after he tried so hard, how the winter soldier fucking killed his mom and fucking spangles hid it from him, how he probably deserved it because that poor kid that got killed in Sokovia because of him... and as Tony talked he also drank so he was feeling pretty buzzed by the time he was done talking thankfully Peter was drinking right along with him.

It wasn't really a conversation, rather Iron Man just venting to him... he did notice a pattern though, everything Tony complained about, he tied up the line of thought with ultimately blaming himself for it.

Peter had always felt a certain kinship with the guy... but this man telling him how helpless his power had made him to the massive responsibility that came along with it, hit too close to home.

"Are you always this self loathe-y or is this just a today thing?" Peter asked when Tony stopped talking

"What? I don't... what?"

"Buddy... Captain America, if he really did to you what you say he did... then who gives a shit? He's an asshole. And I'm not even a supporter of the accords but even I think that the Rogues could have handled it in a better way...

No seriously, there's way more enhanced folks in this country than just the Avengers, some of them are minors, there's a dude in Hells Kitchen who is gonna sue the government and the UN so that the registration thing is scrapped, Charles Xavier and his team are even collaborating on the lawsuit.

Those people could have really used Captain America with them on this but he was too busy playing Rambo and violating other countries' sovereignty and beating the living shit out of Iron Man apparently.

I mean for a genius, you're a dumbass because you let the people who once tried to nuke Manhattan convince you that you're more dangerous than they are but you had 'dead-kid-in-Sokovia' guilt. So I get it but c'mon cut yourself some slack."

Tony was a bit flabbergasted by the kid's performance.

"Of course you'd say it... you stick my pictures on your wall," Tony grumbled

"Oh hell no! You will not use my stan status against me. I know exactly how problematic my fav is. I know your family made their fortune selling weapons and not just to the US Military and I know you only gave a crap about the under the table dealing with terrorists when they threatened your life but I'm sorry Mr. Stark if you deny yourself the credit for learning from your mistakes then every human everywhere is going straight to hell.

Intellicrops prevented famines... the arc reactor technology is saving the planet from global warming...

I saw that video of Helena Cho with those acid attack victims in India and openly weeped in a Starbucks...

You really did privatize world peace... there's a reason the biggest threat to us now is "evil aliens" you know... cause' what the fuck chance does ISIS have against War Machine? Even that Mandarin thing turned out to be a hoax.

I have 3 patents because of my Maria Stark Foundation grant and I didn't even get the MIT-full funding ones... one day one of those kids is going to cure cancer and it's going to be because of you.

So of course I'll defend you man... but you don't seem to realize that any decent person would." Peter was pretty pleased with himself after that and shot Tony an eyebrow raise as if daring him to disagree.

"I got nothing."

"Of course you don't." Peter grinned.

Maybe Tony had just isolated himself too much from people who didn't consider him a complete and utter asshole.

But with Peter it didn't even feel like praise... it was like the guy was scolding him for being too mean to himself.

It felt nice nonetheless.

Before Tony had even recovered from Peter's glorious rant, the younger guy handed him a business card with the words "Daily Bugle" embossed on it.

"Don't hold my gossip rag workplace against me... it's easy money and I'm only doing it till Norman Osbourne starts paying me for the work I already do for him." Peter shrugged

"You're with Oscorp? What do you do? Why not SI?" If he had scored an internship with Oscorp and a grant from his own foundation then he must be good enough for SI.

"I'm R&D chemical engineering and I'm not at SI because your recruiters are assholes who demand 3 years experience for a beginner position..." said Peter matter of factly.

"You should apply with us again." Tony insisted, the guy had 3 patents and very sharp, after tonight the least Tony could do was get him a job.

"You should call me." Peter countered

"I- wait are you hitting on me?" And much to Tony's chagrin, he found himself blushing again.

"Yeah duh Mr. Stark."

"I'm old enough to be your father." Tony sputtered and that hurt to admit.

"And I have insane daddy issues- you'll love me. I'm not even gonna ask you for a selfie... you don't look your best right now but definitely call me." Peter winked as he started to leave.

"You're fucking negging me?!" said Tony looking up at the ballsy kid as he slid out of the booth.

"Hey you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Gandhi said that." The kid called over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Gandhi absolutely did not say that Peter." Tony yelled back.

God he was gonna call the guy.

Read part 2 here, part 3 here

#starker #starker fic #tony stark #tony stark x peter parker #Peter Parker #precious Tony #badass Peter #spideriron #iron spider #i scold because i stan #starker au #aged up peter parker

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anika-ann · 4 years

Text

Hands Too Cold, but Heart of Gold - Pt.1

The Recruitment

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader, Matt Murdock x reader (no SR x MM x r)

Word count: 2120

Summary: Avenger!reader AU, love triangle. Every hero has an origin story. Yours not soall that great. One more reason not to mention it during the first face to face meeting with DD. ...right.

Warnings: mention of death, mentions of violence, swearing, fluff, mild angst…?

Story Mastelist

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“No, no way. I’m not doing it,” you exclaimed resolutely, spinning on your heels.

Heavy, yet somewhat gentle hand fell on your shoulder, turning you back. You bit your lip and looked up at your boss and the closest friend in one person.

His eyebrow was raised in challenge. “Are disobeying your orders?”

You could hear his light teasing just like the serious note in his tone. And of course, Captain America’s authoritative voice was unmistakable. You just gaped.

“It’s a waste of time, St— Captain,” you bit back wryly and he made a disapproving face.

“Don’t pull that out, you know I-“

“Yes, Captain?”

His expression turned annoyed at the interruption and your snarky tone.

You knew you were being cranky, but trying to convince Daredevil, freaking Daredevil, the patron not-exactly-saint of Hell’s Kitchen, was not on your I’d-love-to-do-this list. More like the opposite. That guy was very obviously a lone wolf who loved playing on his own playground and you were not judgemental of that – he was dedicated to his home and that was fine. His way of saying no to joining the Avengers might be a bit rude, but given how many people – well, people – had been trying to convince him to step up to the plate and think on a larger scale than ten blocks, you couldn’t really blame him.

Steve’s hands caressed your shoulders and you bit your lip harder. His baby blue eyes were staring at the bottom of your soul, making you shiver. He had beautiful eyes, serious most of the time, getting incredibly charming when a spark of mischief appeared in them; and make no mistake, Captain America had a lot of mischief in himself despite the righteousness radiating from him to miles.

You blinked, trying to escape his gaze; it was annoying how it always sent your heart racing.

“Just give it a try. No one will be angry with you if you fail. I won’t either. But I believe in you,” he pronounced softly, making you swallow embarrassingly loudly when his thumbs caressed your shoulders.

Jeez, you were such a sucker for his ‘I believe in you’.

Of course, you had a good reason. His speech had been the one that inspired you to join the team. To stop pitying yourself and woman up – yes, that was exactly the term he had used, because his love for strong women was infinite –, to use your accidently gained powers to do some good. He had been the one to find you almost five months ago in the completely frozen lab – your work, not that you had intended it –, shaking, but not from cold. You had been scared to death – you had killed people. You had killed the people who had been trying to help you-- and he had come to you, slowly, putting his shield away despite your warnings and offered you a literal helping hand, promising he hadn’t been there to harm you and he had believed you wouldn’t have hurt him. That he had believed in you.

You fought tears at the memory – you always had. You had hurt him in the end – just a little frostbite really, nothing his super-soldier’s body couldn’t handle – and yet, you had felt almost as sorry as for taking the other people’s lives. But Steve Rogers hadn’t been mad at you. He had stuck around, helped you to get a hold of your powers and the two of you had become colleagues slash friends. Very close friends, actually. Also, you had a bit of a crush on him, but who hadn’t.

“Goddammit, Steve,” you whined silently and his face lit up as he realized he had won. Not from his boss position, no; he had won the way he always had, as a friend of yours.

“I knew I could count on you, Frosty,” he whispered, enclosing you in a short gentle hug.

You rolled your eyes. “You know, Rogers, for someone who napped for about seventy years in ice, you really are pushing your luck.”

Secretly, you loved the nickname he gave you. People called you Frostbite, but Steve never had, aware what kind of a painful reminder of what you had done to him and everyone else the first time using your uncontrollable powers it was. No, he called you Frosty or Snowflake, because he was a sweetheart. Tony, on the other hand, was a dick, calling you Elsa. The others called you either your first name, or your last name. And then there was Thor, calling you the Lady of Ice. You loved your team. It was a delight to work with them. A very exhausting delight.

“Nah, you like me too much.”

You scoffed. He was perfectly on point of course. “I still don’t understand why it’s not you coming, Captain Righteousness. I’m sure you would have handled him better, oh Star Spangled Man with a Plan.”

He let go of you, ruffling your hair to show how much he was still cranky about Clint showing you the videos, both old and rather recent ones. To be fair, you deserved that; but you couldn’t help but tease him about it; some of them were cute, while the others were just hilarious.

“Careful, you still have a problem for saying a bad word.” You rolled your eyes. You had said ‘goddammit.’ Wuss. “And I do have a plan.”

You expectantly raised your eyebrows, curious. He winked.

“I have you.”

────── ·❆· ──────

‘This is ridiculous. I’m tracking a man in a Devil suit in, myself in an icily blue catsuit, Captain America’s voice in my ear. What is my life?’

“Still copy?”

“Yep.”

“He’s around the Piers 42/44, heading North.”

“Rogers that,” you mumbled, not fighting the smirk that always found its way to your lips when talking to Steve via comms, saying ‘Rogers that’ instead of just ‘Roger’. It was just too funny and you needed funny in your life. Even if you could basically hear him rolling his eyes at that. Rude.

You created an ice slide, rising and falling to help you to move faster. Tony had designed special shoes for you to move easily on it, while not giving yourself a shiner – it had taken quite a lot of tries and lots of black-eyes plus one broken radius, but hell if it hadn’t been worth it. Ha, hell.

Never mind. You had a task to complete.

You saw him now, the Devil. He slowed down visibly, which surprised you. He had actually managed to disappear on Tony in the sewers once. He had walked away in the middle of Cap’s recruitment speech, ignorant. Sure, he hadn’t shaken Natasha off, but hadn’t agreed either. Thor and Clint hadn’t tried yet. You wondered what Devil’s strategy was this time.

He stopped completely then and you landed few steps from him, a bit wary. You had done your reading on the Devil; he was fast, efficient and didn’t hesitate to break a bone or two. Or six. To be fair, you read about why he did it, on what occasions, and you truly weren’t judgemental.

“Wasn’t expecting any black ice tonight. It’s only September,” he commented nonchalantly, his voice deep. Not necessarily hostile though – you took that as a win.

Perhaps Steve knew what he was doing, sending you – you weren’t as notoriously famous as the others who had actually been present during The Battle of New York were, so maybe the Devil found it refreshing or something.

You wordlessly let your icy toboggan-bridge disappear. “Daredevil.”

“Why are you here? Have your teammates not gotten the message yet? Did you draw the shortest straw today?”

“Something like that.”

“The answer is still no.”

“Why?” you asked, already guessing the answer.

Because he belonged in the Hell’s Kitchen. Because he was a vigilante, not a hero, not an Avenger.

“I don’t really feel like fighting aliens. And someone needs to take down drug rings and smaller things that escape your notice,” he replied wryly and you sighed.

“You think we don’t see that?”

“Press harder.”

“Sounds like you don’t, given what your friend is saying,” he noted and you closed your eyes in defeat.

Steve’s voice was quiet, for you only, but it wasn’t news the Devil had extraordinary hearing. You couldn’t quite blame him for not liking you coming alone and not alone at all. You reached to your ear, turning your communicator off.

Daredevil tilted his head, seemingly confused.

“You think they don’t see that?” you corrected yourself, letting out the doubts you had despite the warm (ha) welcome the Avengers gave you. “You’re needed here. What you do matters, which is why they are letting you.”

“Why are you saying ‘them’?”

“Do I look like an Avenger to you?”

“You sure call yourself that.”

“Well, I don’t feel like one. But I let them talk me down. I’m a destroyer, yet, they convinced me I can help. And maybe I found a calling. Maybe I found a way to possibly redeem myself,” you whispered, being sure the Devil would hear you. He heard everything.

“I am answering a calling. By doing what I do,” he replied, aiming for firm, but failing. Could he tell the emotion behind your voice, the way you opened unexpectedly (to your own surprise too)? Could he hear the regret? Did he imagine what had caused it? Did it move him?

“And I understand that. Actually, kudos for aiming for achievable goal of managing ten blocks of Manhattan and not letting your ego get in the way too much. I mean, these guys are trying to save the world, talk about unrealistic goals,” you noted, lightening up the mood a little.

You imagined the man behind the mask frowned. “I’m sorry, I’m confused now. Are you still trying to get me to join, or…?”

You chuckled. “Doesn’t look like it, huh? I guess that’s fair.”

The corner of his lips quirked in an approximation of a smile. Your heart skipped a beat. You bet neither of your Avenging friends managed to do that. Not that this was a competition or a manipulation – you were being completely honest. Painfully so.

“I… I’m gonna be honest with you. Steve wants you on this one. And frankly, I have no idea why-“ you paused, realizing how it sounded. “I mean— I know why, we can always use some help saving the world and stuff, but... yeah. So just once for now, let’s team up. No strings attached.”

“That was quite a direct strike. Didn’t see that coming,” he chuckled and you blinked, your eyelashes brushing your eye-mask.

Did he just chuckle? Did he laugh at you? Not that he didn’t have the right, but it was still a bit incredible. His face returned to the mask of seriousness. For some reason, it seemed softer now. “It was… Steve, wasn’t it? You say they convinced you, but you mean Steve Rogers.”

You escaped his gaze – or you thought so. Escaped the way the glassy eye-covers of his helmet burned through you. Whatever.

“Yes,” you whispered. He didn’t comment on that. But you would swear he relaxed.

“How did you get your powers?”

You froze almost literally at the direct question. Well, he sure wasn’t beating around the bush. What was it to him? Was it a test? Did he want to know you before saying no? Was he considering a yes? Did he trust you?

You licked your lips, fighting a shiver.

“Untested treatment. I had a rare liver disease and they tested a treatment with some chitauri crap on me. I always had troubles with thermoregulation. The meds messed it up on a completely different level.”

“I’m sorry.” And he genuinely sounded as if he was, his voice dropping.

“I didn’t ask for this. I hurt people. I’m paying my debt, because I think it’s the only thing I can do apart from creating icicles and toboggans for kids and do some cold-drying of fruit for missions,” you said seriously and his shoulders slightly shook with laughter. You found yourself smiling too. Dammit, how did you switch from misery to joking so fast in one sentence?

“No strings attached?” he asked slowly and your mouth literally fell open. Did he just-

“Did you just-?”

“Yeah. How bad it can be? Plus, your friend is approaching with the jet, I guess he didn’t like you turning your comms off.”

“Oh I’m gonna be on detention for like a week, okay. Or until they need another cold-drying, Tony’s addicted to his dried blueberries.”

The Devil chuckled once more before a cute smile settled on his lips. He took several steps closer to you. “I’m sure they’re delicious.”

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Part 2

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Tags: @murdermornings @mermaidxatxheart

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Heya, people :) I decided to share one of my older fics with the tumblr, I hope a few of you will like it O:-) Whenever you want to be (un)tagged in anything of mine, shoot me an ask or a message or something like that.

Thank you for reading :-*

#marvel #mcu #fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #matt murdock x reader #steve rogers imagine #matt murdock imagine #captain america x reader #daredevil x reader #avengers #avengers fanfiction #avenger reader #hands too cold but heart of gold #anika ann

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diegolabhont · 4 years

Text

The beginning

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing: Zoey Wade x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes) & Poppy Mid-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

(Keep reading please, I have an explanation)

Genre: None (in this post, al least)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really.

Tags: @nevermindme-justreading

SO... here´s the thing:

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes) Beck is a trans latin guy, but you´ll see about that as the story takes off. This is just the presentation for the MC. Sorry

Now, about the PAIRING... I, as a writter, didn´t want to loose the opportunity to writte for my Queen Zoey and my other Queen Fic!Poppy (I SWEAR THAT´S NOT BECAUSE SHE´S ASIAN) so I will be using the same character to both, kinda like choices style, kinda. If you have any comment, PLEASE BE RESPECTFULL and patient with me. This is also my first english fanfic and english is not my mother language, so... i´m sorry fo the grammar errors. Also, I don´t live in the US so sorry if it´s a little bit weird.

CHAPTERS

Chapter one

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Belvoire University. That´s where they were. During all of those years of hard work and hidden passion for music after heavy and demanding tasks back in the family farm, the last thing Beck Hughes thought would happen to them were getting a full scholarship for a music and composition major in one of the most prestigious institutions all over New York and they were truly, truly grateful. If you ask them, the view in here was too flashy for their simple taste, but they couldn´t complain, after all, they did have one of the best music programs at their disposition.

In the meantime, they were walking through campus feeling oh so in home. The gazes of the students around fixed on them as if Beck was some kind of alien in this glamorous and wealthy world. Beck didn´t care honestly. Too long ago they got used to teasing, to comments behind Beck´s back, to be judged for banal and superficial things. At least nobody was being dangerous. That´s why they walked with confidence and upright posture, feeling the strap of their guitar case dangle across their shoulder through his leather jacket. Maybe that bored and unimpressed expression they put up to pretend was the one to blame for the ruckus, especially when they clearly didn´t belong there, or maybe it was Beck´s second hand clothes, they didn´t know, but all that stopped mattering when their fear to be inside of a school drama came true the moment in which a noisy blonde bumped into their way.

At first they didn´t understand the magnitude of the problem, why was a simple coffee such a big deal? All the blonde girl had to do was move her lazy ass and ask for another one to herself instead of yelling to this poor girl just like a Karen. Yes, it was naïve of Beck to believe that they could interfere to peace the waters; the only thing he got was to bring all the fury from the banshee imitator right at them. Well, at least the first victim looked a bit more relaxed.

“Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that?!” She yelled “Do you have any idea of who am I?”

No, who cares?

“I´m…”

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about who she is. But you should worry about who I am”

Beck heard a voice talking right next to them, but again… Who. Cares? People was staring still; can we all just forget everything or doing a raincheck? Beck snorted with annoyance while turn around to face the new combat player logging in.

“Come on, tag along, shall we? Let’s acknowledge everybody’s name! The guy in the back, who are you? Who are everyone? I totally care!”, he thought for a split second, but their brain stopped working completely to the sight of a stunning and beautiful strawberry blonde standing right in front of them. He didn’t even notice how everyone was deadly quiet.

“Shit, she´s gorgeous…”

“And I’m about to become your first and last memory of Belvoire University”

Aaaand… she ruined it. Beck let out a chuckle, a challenging, mocking smile on his face.

“Is that a threat?”

Please, there was no possible way she could do anything to make them back down. Nothing. It took two steps from Beck to close the distance between them and the strawberry blonde, leaning gracefully to poke fun at the noticeable height difference. The girl didn´t back down neither, accepting the challenge with a murderous, threating look.

“You won’t last a day here”

Oh, that how it´s going to be, I see…

“I'm a trans person in a conservative, religious town… Try me”

Blonde´s face was a poem. The surprise so clearly drawn on her face that they could see exactly how her brain stopped, looking up and down Beck, astonish, processing the information, … “Ow, I broke her” They thought, amused. People were completely eating all up the show, Beck could feel every eye on the interaction, what was going on in this school? Fuck, where did they got into?

“Look, I gotta go. If you find something clever to say, just text me, a ‘right?” Said Beck, very willing to leave.

“Rude!”

Squawked Young Karen.

“Oh, snap. New Dude´s not backing down!” said someone.

They didn´t even care, Beck kept walking without looking back and they would be considerably far if not to a hand clawing back their free shoulder.

“How you dare—!“

“Hey, Beck! Look at the time, we gotta go!”

A girl shows up from nowhere, took his arm and pulled them out of the commotion, running away as if a bear were behind them. Seriously, what the hell? The girl, that finally looked like the danger was gone, stopped right in front of a large and fancy door and slammed her keycard against some kind of sensor.

“Wish the circumstances were different, but welcome to de Winfrey dorm complex, AKA your new home!

She was agitated, naturally, but was until that moment that Beck had the chance to look at her with more detail… Gosh, are really all the ladies here that pretty? What´s in the water? Her hair, her eyes, those lips... She was completely flawless, a breath taking beauty.

Feeling confused and intrigued, Beck stumbled inside looking around in awe. Just a fraction of that room looked even more expensive than their own home!

“So… you are my… counselor or something?” they asked, the gorgeous girl looking too young to be one, though. She then cracked up a smile and a little chuckle.

“Beautiful”

“Starting with the wrong foot here and there, don´t you?” She grinned back to they and all the things Beck could feel was embarrassment and a beating heart making heat on their face. “You got out of that one alive. Barely.” She said, looking concerned once again, the laughing disappeared from those cute eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly… You´re gorgeous” A slight blush appeared on her cheeks, alarming Beck.

“Did I just…”

“…Is what I was thinking, but did I just say it out loud?” I hate me, I hate me, I hate me…

“You did, and you´re absolutely, positively right. I´m Zoey Wade, your roomie…”

Oh, so she has a name… wait a minute…

“You´re my roomie?” Beck asked taken aback, what does this means? They felt restless, kind of anxious. It´s this even allowed or the school was acting based on...

Zoey seemed to understand the internal fight in their mind because she immediately clarified.

“You don´t have to worry, this kind of dorms tend to be mixed so it´s kinda normal. Besides I check your info on The T and I saw you were LGBT+ so I´m not feeling…”

“My what?” That´s where she realized.

“Oh! Right… Ok, I´ll make it simple. Here there is a whole system here based on reputation.” Zoey took her phone and showed Beck a long numbered list. Number one and on the top were the same girl they encounter earlier: Poppy Min-Sinclair was there, showing a radiant and flashy perfect smile, next was the banshee named Chloe St James, people, people, people, and low, low into the very bottom, was Beck Hughes… Or we most say “Newbie” Hughes.

“Y´see... you are the new addition and The T´s been all over you. Specially because… well…” She looked reluctant to say it, but it wasn´t actually bad to Beck. They were used to.

“I don´t belong. Got it”

Beck let the guitar case on the floor, right next to the couch, walking around to see their new place, feeling Zoey´s eyes on them all the time.

“I don’t really care, I came here to have a good time and enjoying my music” and to save my life, basically. “So… mind if you show me some fun?” Said Beck, a little flirty. They were a little insecure, taking their chances… New town, new life, right? The seductive smirk they got back relaxed them a little bit more.

“Oh, Beck… I think we will be getting along just fine.”

#choices #queen b zoey #zoey wade #trans #ftm #zoey x mc #MaleMC #bea hughes #Beck Hughes

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years

Text

CHAPTER FOUR - CALLING US OUT

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Length: 1,800ish

Summary: After Ultron’s attack, the Team gets together to try to figure out what he wants.

My heart was pounding and I was trying to catch my breath. What did he mean secrets? My files? Who’s exactly read them? Bigger and better things? What was he talking about? I was beginning to panic. Steve was quickly at my side and Tony in front of me. Tony grabbed onto both my shoulders and shook me a little to try to bring me to my senses.

“Are you hurt?” Tony asked. He was worried. There was fear in his eyes and his voice. I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. “Are you sure?” He moved his hands to my face, eyes still raking me over for injuries.

“I can heal… remember?” I slowly got out, still trying to wrap my mind about what just happened.

“Okay… Yeah.. good.” Tony said, quickly turning around and running up to the lab to meet Bruce.

Steve picked up on my breathing and began rubbing my back. “It’s okay B. Slower breaths.”

I nodded. “Yeah… I’m trying.”

“What did he say to you?” Steve asked. “And what did he me—“

“I don’t know…” I shook my head. “We can talk about it later,” I whispered. “We need to figure out what just happened.”

Thor quickly flew out of the broken windows. I had no idea where he was headed or why he was leaving. The rest of us went to the lab where Tony and Bruce were already looking at screens, searching for something. We stood there is silence for a bit. I looked around and noticed that the scepter was missing. I hadn’t even noticed that a suit had gotten away with it. That’s where Thor went. Tony leaned over a table, looking at a destroyed Iron Legion suit. I still wasn’t breathing regularly and my head was pounding so I quickly found a chair to sit in.

“All our work is gone.” Bruce stated. “Ultron cleared out, used the internet as an escape hatch.”

“Ultron.” Steve whispered. He was mad.

“He’s been in everything. Files, surveillance.” Nat stated. “Probably knows more about us than we know about each other.”

She glanced at me. Or ourselves. He knows stuff about me that I don’t even know. What do I not know about me?

“He’s in your files, he’s in the internet.” Rhodey started. “What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?"

“Nuclear codes,” Maria said.

“Nuclear codes. Look, we need to make some calls, assuming we still can.”

“Nukes?” Nat questioned. “He said he wanted us dead.”

“He didn’t say dead.” Steve said. “He said extinct.”

“He also said he killed somebody.” Clint piped in.

“There wasn’t anyone else in the building.” Maria commented.

“Yes there was,” Tony said, walking to the center of the room. He used his phone to pull up a 3D image of JARVIS’ consciousness. It was completely destroyed.

“Oh my gosh,” I whispered in shock.

“This is insane.” Bruce stated.

“JARVIS was the first line of defense,” Steve said.

“He would’ve shut Ultron down, it makes sense.” I stated.

“No, Ultron could’ve assimilated JARVIS,” Bruce said. “This isn’t strategy, this is… rage.”

Loud foot steps entered the lab. Thor was back and he was angry. Well, angry might not be enough to describe his emotion. He was less angry more furious. He walked straight towards Tony, grabbed him by his throat, and held him up.

“Thor!” I yelled. I stood up, getting defensive but quickly realized that I was no match for the god.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Clint said. “It’s going around.”

“Come on,” Tony strangled out. “Use… your words… buddy.”

“I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark.” Thor replied.

“Thor!” Steve interrupted. “The Legionnaire.”

Thor looked over at me. He saw the worry in my eyes and aggressively let go of Tony. Tony stumbled back and I quickly walked over and helped steady him.

“Trail went cold about a hundred miles out but it’s headed north,” Thor said, pointing north. “And it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it, again.”

“The genie’s out of that bottle. Clear and present is Ultron.” Natasha says.

“I don’t understand.” Helen Cho broke her silence. I had honestly forgotten that she was even here. “You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?”

Tony started laughing. Like actually laughing. How could he think that any of this was funny? Bruce and I quickly looked at each other and then he made eye contact with Tony. Bruce shook his head at Tony, trying to get him to stop.

“You think this is funny?” Thor scolded, not so pleased with Tony’s laughter.

“No. It’s probably not,” Tony chuckled, trying to subdue his laughter. “Right? Is this very terrible?” He continued laughing a little. “Is it so.. is it so… it is.” Tony looked at me as I just shook my head. “It’s so terrible.”

“This could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t played with something you don’t understand.”

“No! I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Tony begins as he walks towards Thor, his anger now showing through. “It is funny. It’s a hoot that you don’t get why we need this.”

“Tony,” Bruce kinda sung. “Maybe this might not be the time to—“

“Really?” Tony quickly turned around to Bruce. “That’s it? You just roll over, show your belly, every time somebody snarls?”

“Only when I’ve created a murder bot.” Bruce quickly said.

“We didn’t. We weren’t even close. Were we close to an interface?”

Bruce nodded and shrugged as I broke in, “Well apparently you were, Dad! And you did it right here! What were you thinking?”

“The Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD.” Steve stated.

“Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?” Tony asked pointing up to the ceiling.

“No, it’s never come up.” Rhodey responded.

“Saved New York?” Tony questioned.

“Never heard of it.” I said, rolling my eyes.

Of course I had heard of it! It’s not like he mentions it all the time, especially because of the panic attacks, but he does mention it more than he should. It drives me crazy! When he mentions it to me, it’s usually to try to show that he’s cooler than me or cooler than others. It’s usually when we’re joking around. Sometimes I think it’s funny, but I don’t a lot of the time. I think he thinks I think it’s funny, but I can tell he’s using it at a cover. He’s trying to hide how he really feels. If I was him, I would still be haunted by it. And I feel like he still is, he just plays it off like it’s no big deal. I’m still haunted by it. Still terrified.

It was all over the news. I was watching tv at my foster family’s house in California when it happened. When the aliens started coming through the portal. All the cameras in New York were filming it. All the tv channels were showing it. I watched on the edge of the couch with wide eyes. I saw the nuke headed for New York then Iron Man get under it and head towards the portal. I knew what he was doing. I screamed and fell to my knees on the floor. My foster parents knew about my relationship with Tony. Tony made sure to find a family that was okay with him taking me every so often. My foster parents ran into the room after hearing me scream. They looked at me and then back to the tv. I screamed again once Tony went through the portal. I brought my knees to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and started rocking back and forth. I cried and cried into my knees. I felt a hand suddenly on my shoulder and my name being called. I looked up at the tv to see Iron Man falling from the closed portal and the Hulk catching him.

I was worried sick for a week after that, not eating properly and barely even speaking. I waited and waited for a phone call or a visit. Anything for me just to know that he was okay. I was home alone when I heard a knock at the door. I carefully opened it. There Tony was. Alive. He had sunglasses on and a tee shirt under his suit coat. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and cried into his neck. He allowed me to. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. So yeah, I have heard about him carrying a nuke through a wormhole. I saw it with my own eyes.

“Recall that?” Tony asked again, pulling me from my memory. “A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We’re standing three hundred feet below it. We’re the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there?” Tony pointed up again. “That’s… that’s the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?”

“Together,” Steve quickly stepped up and answered.

Tony took a few steps towards Steve. “We’ll lose,” Tony replied.

“Then we’ll do that together too.” Steve responded. Tony looked away from Steve and looked sadly at me.

“Thor’s right,” Steve continued. “Ultron’s calling us out. And I’d like to find him before he’s ready for us. The world’s a big place. Let’s start making it smaller.”

I looked over at Tony. He was leaning over a table. I could tell that he was blaming himself for everything that had happened tonight. He did have a right to, but I still didn’t enjoy seeing him hate himself. Everyone else started getting cleaned up and looking for Ultron. I took the few steps over to him and gently set my hand on Tony’s back.

“Dad?” I quietly called.

“You shouldn’t be here…” He whispered. “You should go to bed. Or I should send you to Pepper.”

“I can help.”

“No… maybe in the morning. You need to get some rest after what happened tonight.” He turned around and placed a hand on my cheek. “Please? Do this for me.” I slowly nodded as I place one of my hands over his. “That’s my girl.” He gently pulled my head into his chest and kissed the top of it. I wrapped my arms around him. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”

“Okay.” I whispered into his chest.

“Are you okay? It really scared me when he had a hold of you like that tonight.”

“I’m okay. I promise.” I slowly let go and pulled away. “I’m here if you need anything too, okay?” He nodded. “I love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, kiddo.”

next >

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im-not-looking-for-forgiveness · 5 years

Note

FUCK YES. okay so could you write Eddie saving the reader via Venom, and then they end up falling asleep while cuddling back at Eddie's place because they're both just lonely souls? 🤤🤤

Eddie Brock (Venom) x Reader - Lonely Souls

Sorry this took so long! I absolutely love Eddie. He's a disaster!!!! and I would die for him!!!!!!!!!

•••••

"Oh, no. No, no, no!" you hissed to yourself, realizing you had taken a few wildly wrong turns.

You'd been in San Francisco for a long time now, so you could usually find your way soon enough. And it might have been fine if the sun wasn't setting, or if you had any idea where you were. This was a nightmare. A woman on her own after dark was the beginning of just about every horror flick you could think of. All the others were about aliens.

"You lost, lady?" a man was approaching. He didn't look mean, but from experience you knew that could change in a moment.

You'd stopped walking after realizing you were lost, and unfortunately had made yourself more of a target by standing out in the open.

"Uh, no! I'm fine!" you managed, but it sounded high and fake to your own ears.

"You sure? I could help, really." he persisted.

Do you try to keep being polite, or do you try to act tough to scare him off? This decision could save your life.

"Why don't you come back to my place, and we'll get you sorted out."

That sounded all types of wrong. And if it hadn't sounded like it, his shift into a predatory grin and sudden seeking gaze definitely showed it. Your skin crawled, and you wanted to be as far away from here as possible.

"No. Thanks." you tried to sound more firm, but again it didn't come out like you meant to.

"Oh, come on, I just want to help!" he said, blatantly lying. He was close enough to touch you now. You stumbled back, tripping over the curb.

"She said no." a cold new voice came from behind you. A large set of hands caught your shoulders and stopped your tumble to the ground.

"Stay out of it if you know what's good for you!" the creep hissed.

"Oh, but we just don't know how." he muttered, and then turned his attention on to you with a softer tone, "Please turn around. You.. won't want to see this."

Without waiting to see if you did so, the mystery man turned to face the guy who'd been harassing you. You were frozen in place so turning was an issue. Besides, the newcomer was familiar somehow...

"I ain't scared of you!"

"You'll sing a different tune when you see the big guy."

Before either you or the other man could understand what he meant, it was too late. You witnessed almost in slow motion the black tendrils sweeping up your savior's neck and over his hands. Not a second later you were staring at a creature much larger than the man you'd just seen. You backed away in muted horror, realizing right away what "big guy" meant.

You'd seen this somewhere before.

"What the fuck are you!?"

"We are Venom." came the terrifying vocal mix of the man who saved you and something... else. It was deep and unnatural, and you could only assume it wasn't of this earth. You just hoped it was the good kind of alien and not the Chitauri type. Those guys were the exact reason you got the hell out of New York.

You managed to cover your eyes just before Venom devoured the creepy guy whole. You were glad to, for you weren't sure if you'd ever get that image out of your head. Seeing Venom for the second time was scary enough. You just wished you could remember when!

"Hey, are you alright?" the man who saved you asked, voice sounding like his own again.

You nodded vigorously, peeking out between your fingers. Your voice was failing you.

"I'm sorry about that. I only feed him the bad guys if that's any consolation. I can help you home if you'd like? There are worse things than me out there." he said, looking worried. It was evident to the both of you that he had scared you very badly, but it was only obvious to you that you knew him already.

At a loss for words, you just lowered your hands and let them fall to your sides. You were staring at none other than Eddie Brock! You'd seen this guy on the news from way back when you still lived in New York, and again when all the Life Foundation stuff came out! Didn't that crazy scientist try to mix aliens and humans together?

The man's expression softened as he spoke again, assuming your silence meant no. He murmured, "I get it. I'll let you go on your way. Just scream if anyone else tries to bother you, and we'll be there as fast as we can."

You almost let him round the corner before you realized he was even walking away. You were so caught up in the fact that you knew him, that the terrifying events prior had become secondary.

"Wait! Come back!" you blurted out, jogging to catch up with him.

He turned quickly, looking hopeful. You were smacked in the face with how beautiful he was in the street light. It was definitely not the time to think about such things, and you blamed it on him saving your life.

"I was hoping you wouldn't let me walk away." he admitted, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I didn't mean to go quiet on you. I meant to thank you for what you did back there. It's just that... I know you. Well, as much as a fan can know a renowned reporter." you told him, mind spinning with how much was going on.

"You watched the show!? Wow, I haven't talked to any fans of mine in forever. I'm surprised I still had any." he told you, shocked.

"Well, Mr. Brock, it looks like you had some life changes since I'd seen you last." you answered, finding it insanely easy to talk to him. It was almost as if greeting an old friend, not an old celebrity crush who also happened to save your life.

He was silent for a while before finally asking, "You heard about the Life Foundation?"

"I did. They tried to cover a lot of it up, though."

"I'm the one who found out what Carleton Drake was up to. I snuck into his facility and ended up getting a para- a new friend. His name is Venom, and he's sorta my roommate. His rent is eating people, so I let him get a bad guy or two every once in a while. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You just seem easy to talk to." Eddie explained, laughing nervously at the end.

"Holy shit. That makes so much more sense. Before I moved here, my friends and I had tried to figure out what really happened. They hid so much that it wasn't worth the effort. But hey, you're easy to talk to as well."

"Yeah, it's been an interesting few months." he chuckled humorlessly this time.

"I bet. I can't imagine having an alien inside of me. Though I'd still choose it over whatever that psycho was going to do to me if you hadn't shown up." you told him truthfully.

"I wouldn't have let him hurt you..?" he trailed off, and both of you realized you hadn't told him your name.

"Y/N. Thank you, Eddie." you told him, finding yourself smiling.

"Don't worry about it. I probably enjoyed that too much, anyway." he shrugged. That was good at least. Finding satisfaction in stopping a bad guy didn't seem like an awful thing to you.

Something suddenly dawned on you, "I should probably get back to my apartment, but I don't know where I am. I got really lost."

"Oh! I didn't even think to ask. If you want, you could stay the night at mine? I live two blocks away." he offered.

"Thank you. That would be very helpful. I'm kind of done walking through the dark tonight." you admitted, and took his offer.

You walked the last stretch in silence, not feeling scared at all anymore. Something about Eddie made you feel very safe. You were sure a big part of it had to do with Venom, but a larger part was just Eddie himself. The man knew how to talk to people in the right way, and it made you see how he had gained popularity as an investigative reporter.

Eddie's apartment was small, and somewhat lonely. There wasn't much furniture to speak of, and your heart clenched in your chest. It felt eerily similar to your own place. You two were just lonely souls in this big mean city. His celebrity status meant nothing here.

"Can I offer you anything?" he asked, shrugging off his dark leather jacket. The sweatshirt underneath was doing absolutely nothing to hide his very toned body.

"Coffee?" you smiled gently at him, kicking off your boots by the door and draping your coat over a hook.

As he prepared it, a small black cat came running out of the bedroom. It had an unusual tail, with a little kink at the top. It was endearing to watch it go up as the cat approached you. That was usually a good sign.

"Ah, that's Flint. He's my little buddy." Eddie explained, bringing two mugs to the table near the couch.

You sat, and the cat cheerfully jumped into your lap. He had the most magnificent yellow-green eyes, and he seemed to be very intelligent behind them.

Curling up with Eddie and his cat on the couch, you felt any lasting worries drift away. You talked for hours about anything and everything, until eventually you both drifted off in each other's arms on the couch.

#eddie brock #venom #tom hardy #Eddie Brock x Reader #request

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ticklikeabomb · 5 years

Text

Convincing Loki to help you out (HC to Mini Series : Part 2

Pairing : Avengers x PlusSize Reader (Gender Neutral) ; Loki x PlusSize Reader (platonic)

Warning : Language

Word Count : 2.8k

A/N : This is part 2 of what was originally a Headcanon/One-shot. You can find Pt 1 here :) This takes place during Endgame events but not following the course of the movie.

Disclaimer : I do not own the the rights of any of these characters nor the universe itself. This is purposely for entertainment mainly.

He looked at you wide-eyes before collecting himself and cleared his throat. "I have a question. Why do you talk so much?" You weren't expecting that but still answered, "I'm not used to company so I guess I got carried away." You saw the wires turn on his pretty little head and smirked. "So Mischief what's your plan now : you gonna go all Goth on me or do you actually wanna help us this time?", you asked him straightforward. He chuckled before a large smirk playing on his features. "When do we start?" You looked back at Natasha who nodded and opened the cage. He stepped outside and marched at you, scanning you up and down. "Follow me, the others are waiting", you told him. He stepped closer and whispered in your ear, "Your ribs are broken." "Yeah about that it would be kind of you to not mention it." He chuckled again and followed you to the meeting point.

You arrived in front of the others, Natasha at one side and Loki at the other and declared, "Showtime baby".

——

"Where's the scepter?", asked Natasha. "We couldn't get it. We were surrounding it, I mean our past us. It was too risky to apprehend it", exclaimed Tony. You sighed in annoyance and threw your hands in the air, "You had one job. One"

"How are we gonna go back now with one more person?", asked Clint eying Loki suspiciously, not really fond of him since the God mind-controlled him with the Tesseract back during the New York Battle. You thought for a second, a hand compressed on the side like the sassy bitch they all thought you were by now, even if the pose was in fact to compress the pain on your ribs. "If you use some of your ju-ju or whatever, it might work", you turned towards Loki. "And why would I do that?", he smirked. "wHy wOuLd I dO tHaT? Because if you don't, we'll bring you back to your stupid donut-cell and let you in there to rot", you spat at him not in the mood. A bright smile formed on his lips before he nodded and agreeing in doing as you said.

"My children, hands please", you sang out getting their attention back and saw most of them doing so, except for Clint who was supposed to take Loki's hand. "I refuse", he mumbled his arms crossed. "NOWW", you threatened him, your eyes glowing like stars in the sky. His eyes widened and the other's bodies tensed but he still wasn't willing to comply. Loki rolled his eyes and transformed himself as Clint's wife. "Better now?", he asked. Clint clenched his jaw, his eyes becoming glossy before taking his hand. You felt some of Loki's power curse through you and managed to gather enough energy to transport all of you back in time, to the current timeline.

Once you all reached the compound, everyone fell to their knees, Tony throwing up (again because he's a stubborn dumb hot daddy) on the floor. Everyone stood up one by one except you. "What about them?", noticed Thor. "Why aren't they standing up?" Loki squatted down and felt your pulse. "That's because they're in . ..", he began but your screams cut him short. "AHHHHRRGG MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR" Steve took Loki off guard and punched him, "What did you do to them?" The God of Mischief smiled and replied, "I did nothing. They had broken ribs before the teleportation. I guess they broke the rest of it" They all began talking one over the other, blaming Loki or someone else. "LAWKKKYYYYYY, care to help here", you groaned. He rolled his eyes and eventually put your ribs back in place. "What the hell", commented Tony. "Yeah I know, I almost died back there but I'm back again. So, next phase of the plan", you continued like nothing happened.

At the corner of your eye, you saw Loki step back carefully. "Hey, where do you think you're going?", you shout at him. He smirked before trying to make his exit but was shook to the ground by electroshocks. Turning around, Thor had activated the chip on his brother. Everyone looked at him and he simply shrugged, "I knew he was gonna flee so I kept this little device from our trip from Sakaar before Thanos destroyed our ship." You pointed at him and declared proudly "Thor, my man." Walking to Loki who was in agony on the ground, his eyes wide, you smiled. "You do as agreed and we stop it." "Fine", he said through greeted teeth. You gave him a hand helping him stand up and whispered in his ear "Let's get to work honey."

Everyone was gathered around the main room trying to come up with a plan when Nebula informed she knew where her father was. "Alright, we'll go to him and get the stones, reverse the course and bring everyone back along", mentioned Rhodes. "We don't know if it will work", counterattacked Bruce. "If there's a chance to bring them back, we have to do it. For them", said Natasha. Their arguments were stopped by the sound of someone sipping the rest of a remaining coke with persistence. They all looked at you and you widened your eyes, "Sorry".

"Let's go kill that son of a bitch", dramatically exclaimed the Captain. You wished you had popcorn but that would push them to the limits. They decided that Tony should stay back in the compound for medical purposes. "You're not coming?", asked Natasha. "Nope. Besides I have to keep an eye on this one", you replied while motioning towards Loki who rolled his eyes. "What if we need you?", asked Rocket. "Oh believe me, you don't need me when you have that badass", you pointed at Carol who smirked.

You saw them depart and turned towards Loki, "Want to fuck?", you wiggled your eyebrows. Your request caught him off guard and before you let him reply you laughed out loud, "Nah I'm joking. I'm asexual but your face was priceless." "Please someone get me out of here", he breathed out. The Avengers returned several hours later with defeated faces. You already knew why but abstained from saying anything. They needed to know and see by themselves. "How's Plum face?", you asked. Nebula's piercing gaze turned in a flash towards you and replied with a much more deeper voice, "He's dead." "So are the stones, gone, vaporized, puff", completed Rhodes. Your jaw clenched not because of the not so new intel but because you failed your purpose. "I see", you breathed out. You saw Natasha battling her tears from falling before she left. Carol declared she had other engagements on other planets and told them to call her whenever they needed her. You turned towards Loki and took him aside. "I need you to take care of your brother and the rest of Asgard's people." "What do you mean the rest?", he asked suddenly intrigued. "Just promise me you will. Thor needs you more than anything. He already lost you once, he can't lose you again." After finishing that sentence you disappeared. He came back to the main room alone and Steve asked him where you were. "They're gone", was Loki's only answer.

5 years later

"I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm a hundred percent that bitch, even when I'm crying crazy. Yeah I got boy problems, that's the human in me. Bling bling, then I solve'em, that's the RAT. Arghh gross", you sang out load before seeing the nasty animal. You waited for Jerry to do his work. "May the world bless your accomplishments little hero", and saw him walk trough the button that opened up the Quantum Realm's machine where Scott was trapped. He flew through the truck and ended on the corner of his stored garbage. Groaning in pain, he pressed the helmet of his suit. After preventing his suit to get caught on fire, he looked up and saw you perched on a table whistling the rest of Queen Lizzo's song, even though the song had been released a few years ago, it was still a classic. "Where am I and who are you?", he asked. "You are in a storage unit and I'm Y/N", you shrugged. He shook his head in confusion and continued, "What the hell am I doing in a storage unit?"

"That's a long story and we've been waiting for your return for 5 years now. Orange slices?", you proposed. He gladly took them with a bright smile before turning back to you, "Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean 'it's been 5 years'?" "Come on little ant, I'm sure you're dying to see someone", you convinced him to follow you. During the ride, his eyes scrutinized a devastated city, neighborhoods in construction and trash all over the place. "What happened?", he asked. "There was an Alien called Thanos who managed to collect the Infinity Stones and decided to go all Cher and snap half of living form out of the universe. We're here", you told him and recognizing his daughter's house, he ran off the car to the front porch. You saw the emotional reunion between him and his daughter but had to cut the moment short by honking. "Where are we going?", he asked you. "WE are going to pay the Avengers a little visit", you chanted.

At the entry of the Avengers compound, Scott turned towards you but you had already vanished. Confused, he got out of the car and waved at the camera until the front gate opened up. The three protagonists stood at the same room where a virtual conference was being hold a few minutes ago, confusion written on all of their faces. "Scott? Are you okay?", asked Steve, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Yeah", nodded Scott before continuing. "Have any of you guys studied quantum physics?" "Only to make conversations", replied Natasha. "Alright. So", Scott began to explain what had happened him 5 years ago to the moment he came back, which was a few hours ago. "And then that person stood there, which by the way I don't recall the name. Maybe I should have asked them their name again? Anyway, they drove me to my daughter and vaguely explained to me once I've finished my, and I quote 'detox therapy among floating germes', about what happened with some giant 'purple walking dildo', again not my words. And the next thing I know is that we had to pay you a visit", he rambled before Steve stopped him, "Wait Scott, hold on. We?" "Those quotes sound sassily familiar", commented Natasha. "You think it's Y/N?", Steve turned towards the red-blond-ish ex-assassin. "Yes, that's the name but they vanished out of the blue", added Scott enthusiastically. Steve led out a heavy sigh before answering, "Yeah apparently it's one of their favorite things to do."

"Now now Rogers, I know you're devastated but referring me as a drop-out is cold", you appeared next to Scott and looked at him, a hand on his heart, scaring him. "That's exactly what you are", said Steve. "What are you doing here?", asked Natasha as hostile as Steve. "I came to offer my services", you simply replied to which they scoffed. "What makes you think we want your help?", replied Steve bitterly. "Because you'll take every help you can get to defeat Thanos." "You told me he was dead?", asked Scott confused. "He is but there is another way to bring everyone back", you said and looked at Steve. "They're right, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm and time works differently there. What if there was a way to navigate it and enter the quantum realm at a certain point in time and then exit the quantum at another point in time", he mumbled fervently with a half-eaten sandwich. "Wait are you talking about a time machine?", asked Steve. You rolled your eyes and exclaimed, "Good Lord yes. What he's trying to say is that with the quantum realm we have a way to go back in time without using all of my power and preventing me from dying in the process. It just needs to be apprehended", you spoke up. "So who do we talk about this?", said Scott.

The next thing you know is that you paid a visit to Tony Stark who, settled down, refused to lose what he had. Which led us to where we were currently sitting, a diner. Bruce, well Hulk, more like Hulce was telling them how he managed to combine his new self before being interrupted by children. After what seemed a everlasting awkward exchange between Scott, the kids and Hulce, the green man dabbed. "Ok that was way to weird, even for me", you commented. "Let's get to work", added Steve. The other Avengers were convoked as soon as possible. You even got to see new Asgard with its 'rightful' ruler. Wearing an all black outfit and a man-bun you called out to him, "Yo goth version of prince charming how's the Mortal life?" He turned around and chuckled, "I had that itching, annoying sensation that I would see you one day." "Need a hand with that?", you smirked. "What do we owe you the pleasure?", he asked while checking the harbor's provisions lists. "Ready to save the world and at the same occasion take your revenge regarding Tinky Winky?" He looked at you confused and you had to explain him the reference. "I see." "You're guys coming or do you need a private room?", called out Rocket. "Lead the way", Loki motioned you forward. You took a seat and saw Thor, "My man ", you fist pumped him and saw a wide smile form on his face.

Back at the compound, everyone gathered in the main room and began working on building the big-sized quantum realm portal. Seated at the back of the room you attentively looked at them work while you mentally planned on how to fulfill your destiny.

"Could you give us a hand?", turned Steve annoyed your way. "What? And deprive myself from those amazing muscles flexing so beautifully. You must be dreaming", you replied with a wide smirk, seeing Steve, Tony, Loki, Scott, Thor and Natasha all sexily sweating at work, your comment making Tony chuckle. You stood up and walked to Natasha and Nebula who were preparing the weapons. You made some cocktails and handed them to them. They eyed you and you took a gulp of your own drink. "If we're potentially dying, let's at least enjoy the last moments", you simply shrugged. They agreed and slowly took a seep from their drinks. "So are you more gun or knife?", you asked them. "Gun", answered Natasha and Nebula went with knife. "What about you?" You took another gulp and took out a unique weapon. "Swords", you told them and smiled when you saw their eyes widen at the beauty of the weapon. Nebula was about to reach it when you made it vanish. "Careful there, you touch it and it will burn you to death. See this weapon was created especially for me and everyone else who comes in contact with it dies painfully and instantly. Once I'm dead, the sword will belong to the person I find most worthy and rightful to acquire it. But of course, that is if I'm even able to die."

"What do you mean?", asked Rhodes who heard the whole conversation. You turned to him and noticed that everyone stopped working and was looking at you. "It means what it means !", you responded without giving out more details and decided to take some air outside. You stood there for a while contemplating the sky before exclaiming, "Hiding is not really your forté, I know you're there." He walked and stopped beside you. "You're a mystery even for me", said Loki. "Talent", you simply replied. "Why are you really doing this? Helping us?" Without looking at him, you responded, "While you sink revenge, I seek redemption. I failed my mission and now it's time for me to face the consequences and do the best as I can to redeem myself." He thought about your comment and before he talked again, you exclaimed, "Look at you being all fair player with everyone. Hard to believe that we're in front of the 2012 Loki version." He narrowed his eyes and frowned before letting his angry facade disappear and chuckled. "If got time to reflect and to come to my senses." "I'm glad you did, not that I don't particularly like that whole 'Kneel before me kinky Loki' but myeah", you laughed as he shook his head. You both decided to get back inside and joined the others, who were gathered on the main room, coming up with what Scott called the Time Travel Heist.

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avengerscompound · 5 years

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Mixology - Desire and Responsibility

Mixology - A Captain America Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2915

Series Warnings: Angst, Character death, Breaking up and making up, past trauma, pregnancy, talk of abortion, smut (vaginal sex, fingering, other things)

Synopsis: Steve Rogers comes into your bar and after a night of flirting you take him home. When he leaves the next day you never expect to see him again.

A/N: This fic was written pre-Infinity War. Here’s where it deviates from canon.

Desire and Responsibility

You stand in the bathroom watching Steve shave. Slowly shedding the disguise he’d been living with for the last year and a half. Each swipe of the razor along his strong jaw bringing him closer to being the thing you hated most of all.

“You’re really going back to Stark after everything that happened?” You ask.

“I have to.” He answers.

It feels like a weight is sitting on your chest. Every breath in you take, takes a monumental amount of effort and it hurts. It hurts so badly. He’d already done this to you once before. He’d promised he wouldn’t do it again. Yet here he was. You felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

“What about us? You said…”

“This is bigger than us.” Steve answers. He washes the last traces of shaving cream from his jaw and rinses the razor off.

You follow him back into the bedroom. “You told me it was me. I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this to me. Again!”

Steve turns to face you. His eyes soften and he approaches you. “This doesn’t need to change you and me. I have to go, but you could come with me. I want you to.”

“Why should I? You told me you weren’t going to be him anymore. You told me you were giving that up.” You shout. Your hands are trembling and bile rises in your throat. A wave of nausea crashes down on you and you rush back into the bathroom, dropping to your knees in front of the toilet and heaving into the bowl.

Steve comes up behind you, pulling your hair back from your face. When you finally think you’ve emptied your stomach of every last thing it held you look up at him. “I’m going to get an abortion.” You say.

Steve stands and the look he gives you is of such hurt. A small vindictive part of you is glad. “Don’t say that. You said you wanted to keep it.”

You get to your feet. “What I wanted was a life with the man I loved. I’m terrified about having a kid. I thought I could do it with you. When I’m with you I’m a better version of me. I can’t do it alone. Why would you expect me to want to?”

You rinse your mouth and head back into the bedroom. “Put on your coat, we’re going for a walk. You owe me that much.”

Steve sighs and follows you.

You walk through the deserted streets of Hannover, all the residence inside celebrating the holiday. You skirt the edge of the main shopping center. Your feet make a soft crunch in the fresh powder snow on the ground.

You reach your destination. The ruins of a small church that had been flattened in World War II. Just the walls remain and a crucifix stands inside.

“You did this.” You say, standing in the middle of the former building.

“I never fought in Hannover,” Steve says.

You laugh. “That was a lovely deflection of blame, Steve. I didn’t know you had that kind of thing in you.” You walk into the only covered area of the church. There is an old bell with an inscription in both German and Japanese. You run your hand over it. “Hannover was a strategic military target during the war. They made weapons here. The whole city was flattened. All the old buildings you’ve been enjoying in the Aldstadt. Leibnizhaus. Marktkirche. They were all rebuilt. Only one building stands that is actually older than you. Think about all the innocent people who must have died. All the children. The women who were carrying their lover’s babies. They were the bad guys though, so I guess that makes it okay.”

“It was war,” Steve says.

You turn to face him. “It sure was. The Germans were doing some bad shit that’s for sure. You’d know. You were there. You made the choice to become a lab experiment and fight against them. You got your best friend killed. You committed suicide from the guilt. Did you joining actually help in the end? Do you think it was really all on your shoulders? Do you think maybe you might have given enough of yourself up?”

Steve puts his hand on your cheek and you lean into it. “I know you’re scared. I wouldn’t do this if I thought I had a choice. Aliens are coming they have …”

“Aliens? Steve? Jesus Christ. They have the technology to travel light years through space. What are you gonna do? Throw your shield at them?” You scoff.

“There are people who have abilities that far exceed mine that can fight. They need a leader. Someone to look to. That’s who I am. It’s who I’ve always been. No, I didn’t single-handedly win World War II. But I gave people someone to look to. To inspire them.”

“Let someone else be that, Steve. There are other people they can look to. Other people can put on that uniform.” You plead. “I need you.”

“I can’t. I can’t just sit back and let the world get conquered. How would that help us? You need to stop being selfish and think of other people for a change.” Steve snaps.

“Or maybe you need to be a little more selfish.” You start to walk off on him and he grabs you by the elbow.

“How’s this for selfish then? If I do this. I go back and help. I just do the right thing. I clear my name and they clear all the names of the people who I had exiled and put into danger. Wanda, Sam, Clint, Scott. They all get to go home. Bucky gets his name cleared. They help clear him of his brainwashing. I get to have my best friend back. Not only that, you’re safe. We don’t have to run. We can stop and have this baby in safety. We can raise them like normal people and not fugitives.” Steve implores. “Please just trust me. I’m not abandoning you again. I just need to do what’s right.”

Stark sends a Quinjet and several soldiers to collect you and Steve. At first, you’re sure that they’re there to arrest him, but they are all respectful and defer to his authority.

Your first stop is Wakanda. It takes half the day to get there even in the jet. You throw up so many times thanks to a mixture of morning and motion sickness that you’re eventually just vomiting up the water they keep trying to get you to drink.

You spend most of the trip with your head in Steve’s lap as he holds a cold compress against your forehead.

When you arrive in Wakanda you attempt a bow to King T’Challa. You are so weak at this point it just comes out a wobbly nod of the head. You’re taken to a medical wing and given an IV of saline to rehydrate you while Steve retrieves Bucky.

Steve comes into the room followed by his friend. Bucky is wearing white cotton and his hair is cut short. He also has a prosthetic arm, made of black metal plates that shift against each other as they move. Steve introduces the two of you and sits on the side of the bed. “How are you feeling?” He asks, his fingers stroking through your hair.

“Better.” You say.

“I’m not sure what we should do right now. Should I leave you here come back when you’re able to travel more easily?” He asks.

“No. The doctors gave me some sedatives to take and something for nausea.” You say. “I’m not letting you leave me behind.”

“But the baby…” Steve says.

“Is fine. We’re both fine. We’re coming.” You say.

“Baby?” Bucky says, softly.

Steve smiles up at his friend and his hand runs over your stomach. “That’s right. You’re gonna be an Uncle, Buck.”

You start giggling and they both look at you confused. “Sorry. That’s the name of a movie. Just pretend I’m not here.”

“I can’t believe you’re having kids before me,” Bucky says. The way Steve looks at him as he talks, it’s like he is seeing his best friend for the first time. “You aren’t married though?”

Steve shakes his head. “I couldn’t get married if you weren’t there to be my best man.”

“Jeez, Stevie,” Bucky cringes. “Your mom would box your ears if she knew.”

“We live in a different world, Buck. Different rules.” Steve laughs. “We’ll put it right as soon as we can.”

You leave Wakanda accompanied by T’Challa. There are four more stops to collect each of Steve’s fugitive friends. You sleep for most of it. The sedatives having knocked you right out.

When you arrive in New York, Tony is waiting on the landing pad with James Rhodes and a bunch of military men, all with their weapons raised. You stay on the plane as Steve steps out onto the ramp followed by the others.

“Tony. We’re friends here.” Steve says, calmly.

“He is no friend of mine.” Tony snaps, gesturing to Bucky.

“You know that wasn’t him. Not really. We’re all here to help. Get them to lower their weapons.” Steve says.

Tony makes a quick gesture and the men all lower their weapons. Steve walks towards Tony and offers him his hand. “I think you need to fill us all into the threat.”

The others file off and FRIDAY the new AI guides you to Steve’s old quarters. You take a shower and then sleep off the last of the sedatives.

Steve wakes you and the sun is just beginning to set. The light outside his window is a vibrant orange blending into purple.

“We leave tomorrow.” He says. “You can stay here. That’s what I want for you. There is a medical staff and it’s protected. You’ll be safe.”

“Okay.” You say.

He leans down and kisses you on the forehead. “I’m not going to lie. This is going to be dangerous. I might not come back.”

“Please don’t say that.” You say, tears threatening to break.

“It’s true. I will do everything I can to make sure I do. But this threat… it’s nothing like I’ve ever faced before.” He runs a hand through your hair, twisting a lock around your finger. “I want to marry you. Will you marry me?”

You laugh. “I already said I would. Twice now.”

“No, I mean right now. I want to marry you right now.” He says.

You feel like maybe you should feel something right now. Excitement? Terror? Frustration? Something? It’s almost like all the feelings are just canceling each other out and all that’s left is calm. “Okay.” You agree.

There is another flight. This one to Las Vegas. Most of the Avengers come with you. You find a chapel and Natasha and Wanda help you dress in a floaty, pale blue dress that you already own, and fix your hair and makeup.

The Chapel provides a bouquet of small pink roses. You follow Natasha down the aisle. Steve is standing next to Bucky and Sam. They are all wearing simple black suits. He is smiling and looking at you like no one has ever looked at you before. The way people always talk about but you’ve never really experienced before.

The vows are said. They’re just those standard back of a cereal box set. You barely listen, too caught up with how completely in love with Steve you feel right now. You almost forget to say ‘I do.’ Steve has to nudge you and you both laugh.

When they get to the ‘you may kiss the bride’ part, Steve does not hold back. You were sure he’d chicken out in front of his friends and all you’d get was a brief peck. Instead, he dips you and kisses you so deeply and with so much love it takes your breath away.

Tony had booked a private banquet room at Caesar’s Palace. You can’t drink, but you watch as most of the others get completely wasted. Not because they’re celebrating your wedding. They’re just letting off steam before they go to their imminent deaths.

You start to wane early and ask Steve if you can leave soon. He agrees. He can’t get drunk and watching his friends do this last breath in death rattle is depressing for him. You go to use the bathroom just before you leave and Tony bails you up at the door.

“Mixology.” He says.

“Mr. Stark.” You reply.

“You’ve been harboring a fugitive with my money?”

You roll your eyes. “My money.”

“I don’t understand. How could you take him back after what he did? How could you forgive him?” The way he talks tells you this is more about him than you. You take his hand in yours and squeeze it.

“People get angry and people get scared. That’s what makes us human. Do you think he’s a bad man?” You ask.

Tony shakes his head.

“Do you think he meant to hurt you?”

He shakes his head again.

“Captain America is a real shit head. Steve’s not so bad. But he’s human. Might be worth giving him a second chance. I know he’ll do the same for you.” You say.

Tony looks away from you and when he looks back it’s like he’s a completely different person. “Rumor has it that you’ve got a bun in the oven.”

“Is that what you’ve heard?”

He laughs. “No need to be coy. Look, whatever happens. I’ll make sure they’re looked after. You don’t have to worry.”

“Just try and bring him back. That’s all I want.” You say. He nods and you let his hand go. “And Tony, when you get back, invest in therapy.”

Tony laughs. “Why would I need to? I’ve got you.”

After throwing the bouquet and Wanda catching it you and Steve head up to a honeymoon suite. Steve lifts you and carries you over the threshold. He sets you on your feet. He leans down so his mouth hovers over yours.

“Mrs. Rogers.” He says.

“Steve.” You reply. His mouth connects with yours and the world stops. There is nothing else except the two of you. You wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him.

Eventually, he pulls away from you and you gaze up at him, light headed and woozy.

“If you’re too tired we don’t have to do anything. I understand.” He says.

“Steve, I may never see you again. I don’t plan to sleep tonight.”

His mouth is on yours again and you pull him back onto the bed with you. He scrambles to remove your dress.

He fumbles with the zip as you start shedding his clothes from him. “Just tear it, Steve.” You complain.

He grabs it by the neckline and tears down. You scramble to remove your bra and then return your attention to him. He latches onto your breast, sucking your nipple into his mouth. They are so sensitive that it sends a shock wave right through you. Equal parts pleasure and pain. Your hands grip the sheets as you arch up and cry out.

Steve slips his hand into your panties and rubs the tip of his finger over your clit in small circles as his sucks and bites at one nipple and then the other. All you can do is hold onto him as an orgasm rocks through you.

Steve crawls down your body, pulling your panties from you, his mouth never leaving your skin. When he reaches your pussy he laps at you, from the entrance of your cunt to your clit. Broad swipes of his tongue, drinking from you. He pushes two fingers inside of you and strokes them inside of you, drawing your wetness out so he can have more.

He tongues your clit and bites at it as his fingers press and drags along your g-spot. Your legs tremble and pressure builds like hot lead in your stomach. You come for a second time and thrash away from him, trying to escape it.

He starts to make his way back up your body but you push him back so he’s sitting. You get up shedding the ruined material of your dress and lower yourself down onto his cock slowly. When he as filled you as much as you can take, you start to move as one. You maintain eye contact as you roll your hips in his lap and he thrusts up into you. You come together. Each crying out the other’s name.

Despite how near exhaustion you are both mentally and physically, you and Steve manage to make love four more times that night. Working in bars has allowed you to be able to push through that level of exhaustion when you need to. Tonight you need to.

At around three in the morning, there is a pounding on the door. Steve hurriedly pulls on some pants and answers it. Tony is standing there completely frantic.

“They’ve broken through the first line of defense. We have to go.” He says. “There’s a chopper waiting to take you back to the compound.” He adds, addressing you.

Steve quickly pulls on his remaining clothes and comes to kiss you.

“I love you, Steve. Please come back.” You plead.

“I’ll do my best. I love you too.”

And with that he is gone and you are once again alone.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #angst #mixology #desire and responsibility

167 notes · View notes

suchagiantnerd · 4 years

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48 Books, 1 Year

I was just two books shy of my annual goal of 50! You can blame the combination of my adorable newborn, who refused to nap anywhere except on me, and Hallmark Christmas movie season, during which I abandon books for chaste kisses between 30-somethings who behave like tweens at places called the Mistletoe Inn (which are really in Almonte, Ontario).

Without further ado, as Zuma from Paw Patrol says, “Let’s dive in!”

1. Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes / Nathan H. Lents

We have too many bones! We have to rely too much on our diet for survival! We suffer from too many cognitive biases! Reading about our design flaws was kind of interesting, but the best part of this book were the few pages toward the end about the possibility of alien life. Specifically this quote: "...some current estimates predict that the universe harbours around seventy-five million civilizations." WHAT?! This possibility more than anything else I've ever heard or read gives me a better idea of how infinite the universe really is.

2. The Fiery Cross / Diana Gabaldon

Compared to the first four books in the Outlander series, this fifth book is a real snooze. The characters are becoming more and more unlikeable. They're so self-centered and unaware of their privilege in the time and place they're living. Gabaldon's depictions of the Mohawk tribe and other First Nations characters (which I'm reading through her character's opinions of things) are pretty racist. The enslaved people at one character's plantation are also described as being well taken care of and I just.... can't. I think this is the end of my affair with Outlander.

3. Educated / Tara Westover

This memoir was a wild ride. Tara Westover grew up in a survivalist, ultra-religious family in rural Idaho. She didn’t go to school and was often mislead about the outside world by her father. She and her siblings were also routinely put in physical danger working in their father’s junkyard as their lives were “in god’s hands”, and when they were inevitably injured, they weren’t taken to the hospital or a doctor, but left to be treated by their healer mother. Thanks to her sheer intelligence and determination (and some support from her older brother), Tara goes to university and shares with us the culture shock of straddling two very different worlds. My non-fiction book club LOVED this read, we talked about it for a long, long time.

4. Imbolc: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for St. Brigid’s Day / Carl F. Neal

Continuing with my witchy education, I learned all about the first sabbat of the new year, Imbolc.

5. Super Sad True Love Story / Gary Shteyngart

This in-the-very-near-future dystopian novel got my heart racing during a few exciting moments, but overall, I couldn’t immerse myself fully because of the MISOGYNY. I think the author might not like women and the things women like (or the things he thinks they like?) In this near future, all the dudes are into finance or are media celeb wannabes, while all the women work in high-end retail. And onion-skin jeans are the new trend for women - they are essentially see-through. Gary….we don’t…want that? We don’t even want low-rise jeans to come back.

6. The Wanderers / Meg Howrey

Helen, Yoshi and Sergei are the three astronauts selected by a for-profit space exploration company to man the world’s first mission to Mars. But before they get the green light, they have to endure a 17-month simulation. In addition to getting insight into the simulation from all three astronauts via rotating narrators, we also hear from the astronauts’ family members and other employees monitoring the sim. At times tense, at times thoughtful, this book is an incisive read about what makes explorers willing to leave behind everything they love the most in the world.

7. Zone One / Colson Whitehead

The zombie apocalypse has already happened, and Mark is one of the survivors working to secure and clean up Zone One, an area of Manhattan. During his hours and hours of boring shifts populated by a few harrowing minutes here and there, the reader is privy to Mark’s memories of the apocalypse itself and how he eventually wound up on this work crew. Mark is a pretty likeable, yet average guy rather than the standard zombie genre heroes, and as a result, his experiences also feel like a more plausible reality than those of the genre.

8. Homegoing / Yaa Gyasi

One of my favourite reads of the year, this novel is the definition of “sweeping epic”. The story starts off with two half-sisters (who don’t even know about each other’s existence) living in 18th-century Ghana. One sister marries a white man and stays in Ghana, living a life of privilege, while the other is sold into slavery and taken to America on a slave ship. This gigantic split in the family tree kicks off two parallel and vastly different narratives spanning EIGHT generations, ending with two 20-somethings in the present day. I remain in awe of Gyasi’s talent, and was enthralled throughout the entire book.

9. Sweetbitter / Stephanie Danler

Tess moves to New York City right out of school (and seemingly has no ties to her previous life - this bothered me, I wanted to know more about her past) and immediately lands a job at a beloved (though a little tired) fancy restaurant. Seemingly loosely based on Danler’s own experiences as a server, I got a real feel for the insular, incestuous, chaotic life in “the industry”. Tess navigates tensions between the kitchen and the front of house, falls for the resident bad-boy bartender, and positions herself as the mentee of the older and more glamorous head server, who may not be everything she seems. This is a juicy coming-of-age novel.

10. The Autobiography of Gucci Mane / Gucci Mane and Neil Martinez-Belkin

Gucci Mane is one of Atlanta’s hottest musicians, having helped bring trap music to the mainstream. I’d never heard of him until I read this book because I’m white and old! But not knowing him didn’t make this read any less interesting. In between wild facts (if you don’t get your music into the Atlanta strip clubs, your music isn’t making it out of Atlanta) and wilder escapades (Gucci holing himself up in his studio, armed to the teeth, in a fit of paranoia one night) Gucci Mane paints on honest picture of a determined, talented artist fighting to break free of a cycle of systemic racism and poverty.

11. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman’s Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer / Michelle McNamara

McNamara was a journalist and true crime enthusiast who took it upon herself to try and solve the mystery of the Golden State Killer’s identity. Amazingly, her interest in this case also sparked other people’s interest in looking back at it, eventually leading to the arrest of the killer (though tragically, McNamara died a few months before the arrest and would never know how her obsession helped to capture him). This is a modern true crime classic and a riveting read.

12. A Great Reckoning / Louise Penny

The 12th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series sees our hero starting a new job teaching cadets at Quebec’s police academy. Of course, someone is murdered, and Gamache and his team work to dig the rot out of the institution, uncovering a killer in the process.

13. Any Man / Amber Tamblyn

Yes, this novel is by THAT Amber Tamblyn, star of “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants”! Anyway, this book is a tad bit darker, and follows five men who’ve been victimized by the female serial rapist, who calls herself Maude. Going into this read I though that it might be some sort of revenge fantasy, but dudes, not to worry - we really feel awful for the male victims and see them in all their complexity. Perhaps, if more men read this book, they might better understand the trauma female and non-binary victims go through? That would require men to read books by women though. Guys? GUYS???

14. Ostara: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Spring Equinox / Kerri Connor

Yet another witchy read providing more information about this Spring sabbat.

15. Scarborough / Catherine Hernandez

This novel takes place in OUR Scarborough! Following the lives of a number of residents (adults and children alike), the plot centres around the families attending an Ontario Early Years program as well as the program facilitator. Hernandez looks at the ways poverty, mental illness, addiction, race, and homophobia intersect within this very multicultural neighbourhood. It’s very sad, but there are also many sweet and caring moments between the children and within each of the families.

16. The Glitch / Elisabeth Cohen

Shelley Stone (kind of a fictional Sheryl Sandberg type) is the CEO of Conch, a successful Silicon Valley company. Like many of these over-the-top real-life tech execs, Shelley has a wild schedule full of business meetings, exercise, networking and parenting, leaving her almost no time to rest. While on an overseas business trip, she meets a younger woman also named Shelley Stone, who may or may not be her younger self. Is Shelley losing it? This is a dark comedy poking fun at tech start-up culture and the lie that we can have it all.

17. The Thirteenth Tale / Diane Setterfield

This is my kind of book! A young and inexperienced bookworm is handpicked to write the biography of an aging famous author, Vida Wynter. Summoned to her sprawling country home around Christmastime, the biographer is absolutely enthralled by Vida’s tales of a crumbling gothic estate and an eccentric family left too long to their own whims. Looking for a dark, twisty fairytale? This read’s for you.

18. Love & Misadventure / Lang Leav

Leav’s book of poems looked appealing, but for me, her collection fell short. I felt like I was reading a teenager’s poetry notebook (which I’m not criticizing, I love that teen girls write poetry, and surprise, surprise - so did I - but I’m too old for this kind of writing now).

19. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows / Balli Kaur Jaswal

Hooo boy, my book club loved this one! Hoping to get a job more aligned with her literary interests, Nikki, the 20-something daughter of Indian immigrants to Britain, takes a job teaching writing at the community centre in London’s biggest Punjabi neighbourhood. The students are all older Punjabi women who don’t have much to do and because of their “widow” status have been somewhat sidelined within their community. Without anyone around to censor or judge them, the widows start sharing their own erotic fantasies with each other, each tale wilder than the last. As Nikki gets to know them better, she gains some direction in life and starts a romance of her own. (It should be noted that in addition to this lovely plot, there is a sub plot revolving around a possible honour killing in the community. For me, the juxtaposition of these two plots was odd, but not odd enough that it ruined the book.)

20. Beltane: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for May Day / Melanie Marquis

Beltane marks the start of the summer season in the witches’ year, and I learned all about how to ring it in, WITCH STYLE.

21. Summer of Salt / Katrina Leno

This book is essentially Practical Magic for teens, with a queer protagonist. All that to say, it’s enjoyable and sweet and a win for #RepresentationMatters, but it wasn’t a surprising or fresh story.

22. Too Like the Lightning / Ada Palmer

This is the first in the Terra Ignota quartet of novels, which is (I think) speculative fiction with maybe a touch of fantasy and a touch of sci-fi and a touch of theology and certainly a lot of philosophical ruminating too. I both really enjoyed it and felt so stupid while reading it. As a lifelong bookworm who doesn’t shy away from difficult reads, I almost never feel stupid while reading, but this book got me. The world building is next level and as soon as you think you’ve found your footing, Palmer pulls the rug out from under you and you’re left both stunned and excited about her latest plot twist. Interested in finding out what a future society grouped into ‘nations’ by interests and passions (instead of geographical borders and ethnicity) might be like? Palmer takes a hearty stab at it here.

23. The Trauma Cleaner: One Woman’s Extraordinary Life in the Business of Death, Decay and Disaster / Sarah Krasnostein

When Sarah Krasnostein met Sandra Pankhurst, she knew she had to write her biography (or something like it - this book is part biography, part love letter, part reckoning). And rightly so, as Sandra has led quite a life. She grew up ostracized within her own home by her immediate family, married and had children very young, came out as a trans woman and begin living as her authentic self (but abandoning her own young family in the process), took to sex work and lived through a vicious assault, married again, and started up her own successful company cleaning uncleanable spaces - the apartments of hoarders, the houses of recluses, the condos in which people ended their own lives. Sandra is the definition of resilience, but all her traumas (both the things people have done to her and the things she’s done to others) have left their mark, as Krasnostein discovers as she delicately probes the recesses of Sandra’s brain.

24. Becoming / Michelle Obama

My favourite things about any memoir from an ultra-famous person are the random facts that surprise you along the way. In this book, it was learning that all American presidents travel with a supply of their blood type in the event of an assassination attempt. I mean OF COURSE they would, but that had never occurred to me. I also appreciated Michelle opening up about her fertility struggles, the difficult decision to put her career on hold to support Barack’s dreams, and the challenge of living in the spotlight with two young children that you hope to keep down to earth. Overall, I think Michelle was as candid as someone in her position can be at this point in her life.

25 and 26. Seven Surrenders, The Will to Battle / Ada Palmer

I decided to challenge myself and stick with Palmer’s challenging Terra Ignota series, also reading the second and third instalments (I think the fourth is due to be released this year). I don’t know what to say, other than the world-building continues to be incredible and this futuristic society is on the bring of something entirely new.

27. Even Vampires Get the Blues / Kate MacAlister

This novel wins for “cheesiest read of the year”. When a gorgeous half-elf detective (you read that right) meets a centuries-old sexy Scottish vampire, sparks fly! Oh yeah, and they’re looking for some ancient thing in between having sex.

28. A Case of Exploding Mangoes / Mohammed Hanif

A piece of historical fiction based on the real-life suspicious plane crash in 1988 that killed many of Pakistan’s top military brass, this novel lays out many possible culprits (including a crow that ate too many mangoes). It’s a dark comedy taking aim at the paranoia of dictators and the boredom and bureaucracy of the military (and Bin Laden makes a cameo at a party).

29. Salvage the Bones / Jesmyn Ward

This novel takes place in the steaming hot days before Hurricane Katrina hits the Mississippi coast. The air is still and stifling and Esch’s life in the small town of Bois Sauvage feels even more stifled. Esch is 14 and pregnant and hasn’t told anyone yet. Her father is a heavy drinker and her three brothers are busy with their own problems. But as the storm approaches, the family circles around each other in preparation for the storm. This is a jarring and moving read made more visceral by the fact that the author herself survived Katrina. It’s also an occasionally violent book, and there are particularly long passages about dog-fighting (a hobby of one of the brothers). The dog lovers in my book club found it hard to get through, consider this your warning!

30. Everything’s Trash, But It’s Okay / Phoebe Robinson

A collection of essays in the new style aka writing multiple pages on a topic as though you were texting your best friend about it (#ImFineWithThisNewStyleByTheWay #Accessible), Robinson discusses love, friendship, being a Black woman in Hollywood, being plus-ish-size in Hollywood, and Julia Roberts teaching her how to swim (and guys, Julia IS as nice in real life as we’d all hoped she was!) Who is Robinson? Comedy fans will likely know her already, but I only knew her as one of the stars of the Netflix film Ibiza (which I enjoyed). This is a fun, easy read!

31. Midsummer: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Litha / Deborah Blake

After reading this book, I charged my crystals under the midsummer sun!

32. Fingersmith / Sarah Waters

So many twists! So many turns! So many hidden motives and long-held secrets! Think Oliver Twist meets Parasite meets Lost! (Full disclosure, I haven’t seen Parasite yet, I’m just going off all the chatter about it). Sue is a con artist orphan in old-timey London. When the mysterious “Gentleman” arrives at her makeshift family’s flat with a proposal for the con of all cons, Sue is quickly thrust into a role as the servant for another young woman, Maud, living alone with her eccentric uncle in a country estate. As Sue settles into her act, the lines between what she’s pretending at and what she’s really feeling start to blur, and nothing is quite what it seems. This book is JUICY!

33. Rest Play Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One) / Deborah MacNamara, PhD

I read approximately one parenting book a year, and this was this year’s winner. As my eldest approached her third birthday, we started seeing bigger and bigger emotions and I wasn’t sure how to handle them respectfully and gently. This book gave me a general roadmap for acknowledging her feelings, sitting through them with her, and the concept of “collecting” your child to prevent tantrums from happening or to help calm them down afterward. I’ll be using this approach for the next few years!

34. Lughnasadh: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Lammas / Melanie Marquis

And with this read, I’ve now read about the entire witch’s year. SO MOTE IT BE.

35. In Cold Blood / Truman Capote

How had I not read this until now? This true-crime account that kicked off the modern genre was rich in detail, compassionate to the victims, and dug deep into the psyche of the killers. The descriptions of the midwest countryside and the changing seasons also reminded me of Keith Morrison’s voiceovers on Dateline. Is Capote his inspiration?

36. I’m Afraid of Men / Vivek Shraya

A quick, short set of musings from trans musician and writer Shraya still packs an emotional punch. She writes about love and loss, toxic masculinity, breaking free of gender norms, and what it’s like to exist as a trans woman.

37. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You / Elaine N. Aron, PhD

Having long thought I might be a highly sensitive person (lots of us are!), I decided to learn more about how to better cope with stressful situations when I don’t have enough alone time or when things are too loud or when I get rattled by having too much to do any of the other myriad things that shift me into panic mode. Though some of the advice is a bit too new-agey for me (talking to your inner child, etc), some of it was practical and useful.

38. Swamplandia! / Karen Russell

The family-run alligator wrestling theme park, Swamplandia, is swimming in debt and about to close. The widowed father leaves the everglades for the mainland in a last-ditch attempt to drum up some money, leaving the three children to fend for themselves. A dark coming-of-age tale that blends magic realism, a ghost story, the absurd and a dangerous boat trip to the centre of the swamplands, this novel examines a fractured family mourning its matriarch in different ways.

39. A Mind Spread Out on the Ground / Alicia Elliott

This is a beautiful collection of personal essays brimming with vulnerability, passion, and fury. Elliott, the daughter of a Haudenosaunee father and a white mother, shares her experiences growing up poor in a family struggling with mental illness, addiction and racism. Topics touch on food scarcity, a never-ending battle with lice, parenthood and the importance of hearing from traditionally marginalized voices in literature.

40. Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay / Elena Ferrante

The third novel in Ferrante’s Neapolitan quartet sees Elena and Lila move from their early twenties into their thirties and deal with a riot of issues - growing careers, changing political beliefs, the challenges of motherhood and romantic relationships, and existing as strong-willed, intelligent women in 1960s and 70s Italy. I’ll definitely finish the series soon.

41. Half-Blood Blues / Esi Edugyan

A small group of American and German jazz musicians working on a record find themselves holed up in Paris as the Germans begin their occupation in WW2. Hiero, the youngest and most talented member of the group, goes out one morning for milk and is arrested by the Germans, never to be heard from again. Fifty years later, the surviving members of the band go to Berlin for the opening night of a documentary about the jazz scene from that era, and soon find themselves on a road trip through the European countryside to find out what really became of Hiero all those years ago. Edugyan’s novel is a piercing examination of jealousy, ambition, friendship, race and guilt. And features a cameo by Louis Armstrong!

42. A Serial Killer’s Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love and Overcoming / Kerri Rawson

So Brad and I had just finished watching season 2 of Mindhunter, and as I browse through a neighbourhood little library, I spot this book and the serial killer in question is the BTK Killer! Naturally, I had to read it. What I didn’t realize is that this is actually a Christian book, so Rawson does write a lot about struggling with her belief in God and finding her way back to Him, etc. But there are also chapters more fitting with the true crime and memoir genres that I equally enjoyed and was creeped out by.

43. The Night Ocean / Paul La Farge

This is another book that made me feel somewhat stupid as a reader. I just know there are details or tidbits that completely went over my head that would likely enrich a better reader’s experience. In broad strokes, the novel is about a failed marriage between a psychiatrist and a writer who became dangerously obsessed with H.P. Lovecraft and the rumours that swirled around him and his social circle. The writer’s obsession takes him away from his marriage and everything else, and eventually it looks like he ends his own life. The psychiatrist is doubtful (no body was found) and she starts to follow him down the same rabbit hole. At times tense, at times funny, at times sad, I enjoyed the supposed world of Lovecraft and his fans and peers, but again, I’m sure there are deeper musings here that I couldn’t reach.

44. Glass Houses / Louise Penny

The 13th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series sees our hero taking big risks to fight the opioid crisis in Quebec. He and his team focus on catching the big crime boss smuggling drugs across the border from Vermont, endangering his beloved town of Three Pines in the process.

45. The Bone Houses / Emily Lloyd-Jones

My Halloween read for the year, this dark fairytale of a YA novel was perfect for the season. Since her parents died, Ryn has taken over the family business - grave digging - to support herself and her siblings. As the gravedigger, she knows better than most that due to an old curse, the dead in the forest surrounding her village don’t always stay dead. But as more of the forest dead start appearing (and acting more violently than usual), Ryn and an unexpected companion (yes, a charming young man cause there’s got to be a romance!) travel to the heart of the forest to put a stop to the curse once and for all.

46. The Witches Are Coming / Lindy West

Another blazing hot set of essays from my favourite funny feminist take on Trump, abortion rights, #MeToo, and more importantly Adam Sandler and Dateline. As always, Lindy, please be my best friend?

47. Know My Name / Chanel Miller

This memoir is HEAVY but so, so needed. Recently, Chanel Miller decided to come forward publicly and share that she was the victim of Brock Turner’s sexual assault. She got the courage to do so after she posted her blistering and beautiful victim impact statement on social media and it went viral. Miller’s memoir is a must-read, highlighting the incredible and awful lengths victims have to go to to see any modicum of justice brought against their attackers. Miller dealt with professional ineptitude from police and legal professionals, victim-blaming, victim-shaming, depression and anxiety, the inability to hold down a job, and still managed to come out the other side of this trial intact. And in the midst of all the horror, she writes beautifully about her support system - her family, boyfriend and friends - and about the millions of strangers around the world who saw themselves in her experience.

48. Christmas Ghost Stories: A Collection of Winter Tales / Mark Onspaugh

Ghosts AND Christmas? Yes please! This quirky collection features a wide array of festively spooky tales. You want the ghost of Anne Boleyn trapped in a Christmas ornament? You got it! What about the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future drinking together in a bar? Yup, that’s here too!

So, what were my top picks of the year, the books that stuck with me the most? In no particular order:

Educated

Homegoing

The Wanderers

Know My Name

Scarborough

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drkoestersmithrpg · 5 years

Text

AUG DONE YAY!!! I’ll Post Tuesday Probably

“Don’t worry about it kid. Just ignore him. He’ll get over you and we can all get back to normal.”

War Machine’s advice was not in the least bit helpful for the youngest Avenger on the compound who had become, and rightly so, more than a little alarmed by Mr. Stark’s behavior.

It seemed like ever since the Avengers had encountered real aliens from space, the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy, and learned about various planets, each with their own threats, and the threat of some Over-Alien that was setting out on a mission to massacre half of the universe, well, Tony had gotten weird.

(Or maybe Tony had always been weird and Peter had never noticed before?)

No, actually, many Avengers had noticed it too. Tony’s inappropriate humor had always been a feature, not a bug, but recently it had been dialed up to 11. 11? Try 69. It wasn’t just that he was calling Peter “Underoos” again. It was more. Innuendos when people asked for facts. Dirty jokes when people asked for opinions. Double-entendres about the must mundane topics, to the point where no one could even ask ‘where are we going for dinner?’

And all of them, every single one of them, seemed to be of the homosexual variety.

To the point that Peter was beginning to fear that his hero, his idol and his fantasy-mentor (and his real life mentor for years now) was actually a homophobe.

“A homophobe? THE Tony Stark?? Nah kid, Tony is an unabashed Trisexual. He’ll try anything….and he never made any bones about it….”

Both of them winced, both of them turned to look even though they knew Tony wasn’t in the room. You couldn’t say the word ‘bones’ around Tony anymore, or any vaguely sexual word, including the word ‘it.’ That’s how bad it had gotten.

“Wait…..wait……are you saying….Tony is Bi?” Peter asked, trying to look surprised. Trying not to look overeager. Trying not to look like a kid who had actually recently gotten some information and was desperate to confirm it. Trying not to look like he had cornered Rhodey in an empty conference room just to ask this question.

“No,” said Rhodey.

Peter’s shoulders sagged.

“He’s a hedonist. Don’t worry about it kid. Just ignore him. He’ll get over you and we can all get back to normal,” Rhodey said dismissively, walking away, leaving Peter red-faced and gaping.

“Over me?”

“Over me??”

“When was I under him?”

* * * *

There were many theories about Tony’s new behavior, but Peter couldn’t find any that agreed with Rhodey….that it had something to do with him.

Fury blamed the Avengers state-of-readiness for over a year that resulted in absolutely nothing, no visit from the Ultimate Badguy bent on destroying half of Earth. Stress made people cranky, seemed to be his theory, and Tony’s new tourette syndrome was just a symptom of that stress.

Bruce (not a common feature around the compound for the last year but very good for information when he was around) pointed out that Tony didn’t like crowds unless they were cheering for him. “He doesn’t actually work well with others, he forces himself to work with others, thus all the grants and outsourcing, but it’s a lot of effort. If he can’t got for 3 minutes without making a dirty joke, maybe he just needs to go back into hiding for a while. We’re all hermits, after a fashion.” Peter hoped desperately that wasn’t true (he didn’t WANT Tony to go into hiding) but he certainly took Bruce’s perspective seriously. He knew a lot about Tony. And a lot about hermits.

Black Widow would probably have the best explanation for Tony’s odd behavior. Analyzing human behavior was her job. But Nat wasn’t talking.

So Peter soldiered on. He was the only Avenger who went to training and attended meetings in full costume, mask on at all times. The story was it was to protect his secret identity. The truth was, the mask covered all facial expressions. Tony’s obscenities, no matter how constant, still took him by surprise. Under the mask, no one could see him blush.

Because truth be told, so many of those inappropriate jokes seemed to be aimed at him.

Most Avengers seemed to agree that the new Rated R version of Tony Stark corresponded with the visit from the storied Guardians of the Galaxy.

But in Peter’s mind, it also seemed to start the same day he turned 20 years old, and bragged, in Tony’s hearing, that he had celebrated with a special party in Boystown.

He had done it very much on purpose – it had been part of his plan.

Only the results were not….good. Almost overnight Tony was x y and z. [every bad guy needed a good fucking, every x ato to they y, every complaint from Peter indicated he needed to get laid. Tony had always joked about everything, but now the jokes were not only gay-related, they were downright hostile. Peter had never heard the word ‘faggot’ on the Avenger’s compound before (the entire compound, Avengers and military alike, knew Caps’ “Language” rule) and he heard it out of Tony’s mouth that very night. It was Peter’s birthday dinner in one of the compound’s dining rooms where Tony had asked for a ‘real drink for me, not some faggoty ass waterdawon drink. We’ll save that for Pete.”

(That was the day Peter realized his life would be better if he just kept the mask on at all times.)

Finally, after a great deal of soul-searching about his Get Tony Stark Into Bed plan and weather or not he even to be in the same room with that man, he cornered Nat and Rhodey (the two people he considered the best informed) and demanded answers.

“Kid…you’re smart. Don’t let him rile you up.” That was Rhodey, who seemed a little hostile himself. He clearly did not want to be having this conversation.

“But that’s what I don’t get….why is this about me?”

Rhodey and Nat exchanged a look.

Then Nat looked at him, and seemed to make a decision.

“Parker, you announced you were gay, sexually active and legally of age all in the same sentence.”

Peter wished, for a moment, he still had his mask on. Apparently he hadn’t been as subtle that night as he had thought.

“So….wait…..are you saying this is him….flirting with …..me?”

Nat shrugged. “Little girls get their ponytails pulled by boys who have crushes on them every day. They learned to live with it.”

“No they don’t” Peter countered. “My friend MJ had her hair pulled by a boy in 3rd grade who said he like liked her and he got sent to counseling.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes and said murmured something about Millennials.

“Gen Z,” Peter pointed out, raising a hand.

“Exactly – Gen X jokes are going to sound wrong to Gen Z ears…..”

“Wrong? Half of what comes out of his mouth could be considered sexual harassment in 50 states!”

“Parker!” That was Rhodey again. “I’ve seen these hyperfixations before. They go away. Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent? Be intelligent. DON’T fall for him, DON’T let him talk you into bed. Just wait for it to pass over.”

“Let him….talk me into……”

“Kid, don’t do it.” That was Nat. “If Pepper Potts couldn’t tame that mess no one can.”

Nat gave a nod to Rhodey, who took it as a cue to exit, leaving the two of them alone together.

“Look,” she said gently. “No one will tell you to your face, but we’re all looking forward to when you leave for school again. Tony will tone it down after you leave. And if you stay away long enough, he’ll just get over you.

“I can see what you’re thinking, Peter, and you don’t want to do this. Tony has always been a comedian. This is just a new routine. You think if you let him talk you into bed, this will get any easier for you? You’re Gen Z, you talk about your feelings. Tony just talks in one-liners.

“It’s hard work dating a comedian, kid.

“It can’t end well.”

* * * *

Tired of walking around with a mask on daily, and lonely for his friends (who knew the difference between flirting and Hostile Work Environment) Peter took Nat’s advice and left early. Back in New York he spent his weeks before the semester began researching the psychology of humor, and the sociological limitations of being gay in the 80’s. It was eye-opening. Also appalling.

But the psychology of humor was very interesting – Peter read that when a group, any group, laughed together, the individuals would indistinctly glance at the person they felt connected with. The article suggested reading room to ‘learn who is secretly sleeping together’ but in general the article dealt with office culture and social hierarchies. Still, the tidbit was confusing.

Every time the group laughed together, Tony always seemed to be glancing at him.

But the longer he spent away from Tony the more the offensive jokes faded in his memory and the more he remembered just how bad his crush on the man had become (and exactly how far he was into his detailed plan to get into Tony’s pants.)

He wasn’t expecting to actually run into the actual man in New York any time soon, but within a week he did. The Avenger Parties at Stark Tower seemed to becoming more frequent, it seemed to Peter. At least this was the 2nd one in 2 months. Peter wondered vaguely if it was a ploy to make him hang with the Avengers with his face showing – he was invited to attended these things in suit as “Mr. Stark’s intern.”

Walking into the party he felt, very suddenly, unarmed (more specifically, unarmored.) He had relied so much on his mask to hide his face whenever Tony was inappropriate.

That’s why he silently determined to just avoid Tony altogether.

Chapter 2

Tony stiffed at the sight of Peter holding a glass of wine. It didn’t matter how many times he reminded himself (or Peter) that Peter was now of age. It still struck him as wrong.

But not as wrong as Bruce’s arm around Peter’s shoulders.

He had already passed them once, talking a mile-a-minute with Bruce and Dr. Cho about the tech behind the cradle. He couldn’t begrudge Bruce and Peter their shop talk (although the double twinges of jealousy took him by complete surprise. He and Bruce had been so long ago, it seems.)

Mostly, he was just irritated that the kid seemed to be avoiding him.

But now – oh this definitely was not right.

He couldn’t be caught staring, so he made his rounds, taking in furtive glances at the two across the room. He must have been mistaken about the arm, Peter and Bruce and some other tech guys were just talking now, and it looked perfectly normal.

Then he lost sight of them.

Then he caught them again, standing by the window alone.

They weren’t talking shop, that was certain. Bruce had his arm on Peter’s back, was leaning over, was speaking directly into his ear. Acceptable in a crowded room, but they were far away enough from the crowd to make Tony see red.

Especially when Peter grinned, ducked his head, then turned and said something into Bruce’s ear.

What Bruce said next made Peter laugh and cover his face, and that’s when Nat appeared in front of him and said “Don’t be jealous.

“They’re talking about you.”

She turned her head to ignore his gape. She pretended to scan the room as she spoke. “Not that I care, Tony, but if you really want to hook up with a Gen Z you are going to have to clean up your act. Reinstate Steve’s “language” rule. Poor kid thinks you’re a homophobe.

“What…..me?”

He respected Nat’s intelligence, so when she looked at him that way, he took it seriously.

“New generation, Tony. They don’t care what you DID 20 years ago, all they care about is what you’re doing now, and what you’re doing now is recycling gay jokes from the 80’s. He honestly thought you were mad at him.

“Just…go…flirt with him like a normal person. Take him on date. He’s into you – he’s quizzed everyone who knows you about your sex life.”

* * * * *

Peter left the party grinning from ear to ear.

Even though he never actually spoke to Tony that night. The man disappeared from his own party, but no one thought that was particularly unusual. Nat, at least, seemed to think that way. She gave him a warning look when he asked after the man, but when she spoke, she was gentle.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian, Peter.”

“Yeah you told me that.”

“The Millennials way is to exchange facts about emotions. Comedians just exchange one-liners.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” Peter said, but he couldn’t help but smile.

He went downstairs to the car Tony had waiting for him, smiling all the way.

He had found out a LOT from Bruce that night, information he needed, information he intended to use.

But that wasn’t the best part.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian” he said to himself as he raced down the stairwell to the garage.

The litany of inappropriate humor wasn’t an attack or a slight, it was a sign of interest. He could identify the intent, while simply ignoring the actual language. He didn’t have to speak Tony’s language, he just had to understand it.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian” he whispered to himself when Tony’s driver took him home.

“Consider the perils of dating a comedian” he murmured to himself as he lay on his bed in his dormroom that night.

He went to bed with a smile on his face.

Because all he could think was…

………… “I’ve got a chance to date Tony Stark.”

#The Perils Of Dating Tony Stark

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