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a-sip-of-milo · 7 months

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Need a reason to live?

Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️

Relationships

Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)

Your friends

Your family

Those who look up to you

To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while

Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)

There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going

To eventually be a mentor to someone

To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone

To fall in love

Your partner

To meet your online friends/mutuals

To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it

To see someone close to you through their final days

To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about

Your FP (personality disorder specific)

Group photos with your (found) family and friends

To help your friends do the same

The friends you've yet to meet

A promise you made to someone special

Acts of kindness

To be there when someone needs you

To see someone smile because of you

To make a stranger's day a little brighter

To hand out compliments to those who need it

To make the world a little bit better before you go

To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated

To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.

To help someone you love to quit an addiction

To do charitable deeds

Affection

Hugs from someone you trust

Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet

Cuddles when it's cold/lonely

To laugh until your stomach hurts

Forehead touches

To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing

Doting on people when they're feeling down

To make the people around you laugh

Interests

That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for

Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations

To share creations that aren't appreciated enough

To save up for something that would make life more bearable

To finally complete a collection

Projects would be left unfinished

To travel

To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time

Projects you've yet to come up with

To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold

To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced

Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours

Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))

To stick it to your abusers

To prove your younger self wrong

To prove the people around you wrong

To prove your younger self right

To prove the people around you right

To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you

As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you

To outlive your enemies

To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)

To show off your success to the people who doubted you

To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win

Milestones

You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go

To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own

To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to

To graduate from school

To see your wounds from self-harm heal

To experience old age

To get married

To recover from your eating disorder

To experience independence

To start/complete your transition

To go on your first date

To get your first job

To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve

To rescue a pet and give them a home

To purchase your first car

To rent/purchase your first house/apartment

To have your first child

To lose your virginity

To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation

To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.

Miscellaneous

To finally get diagnosed with something important

So if nothing else, you can still say you survived

You have a bucket list you'd like to complete

To live because you want to, not because others want you to

Comfort drinks with someone you love

You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday

Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.

To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.

All the different foods you've yet to try

To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it

To watch the seasons change

To celebrate the holidays

For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good

To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now

To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger

If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.

If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞

#reasons to live #npd safe #bpd safe #did #osdd #tw eating disorders #tw self harm #tw death #tw abuse #mental health #positivity #neurodivergent #cluster b safe

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kittykatkatprotector · 2 years

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I want to kill myself thank you for asking

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cluster-b-culture-is · 6 months

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cluster b culture is getting irrationally angry at people for having things in common with you. no, we can’t have the same favorite animal actually, fuck you.

#cluster b culture is #cluster b #bpd #npd #hpd #aspd #mod saltwater #YEAH MOOD #i used to get so mad when my little brother got the same thing as me #honestly i still do but it doesn’t happen as often because we don’t live together anymore

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dorianbrightmusic · 10 months

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PSA

-OCD is not a synonym for neat or preoccupied with tidiness. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is all about distressing intrusive thoughts and rituals (compulsions) used to combat those thoughts.

-Intrusive thoughts are not synonymous with silly things I want to do. They're deeply upsetting, often taboo mental apparitions. Letting them win is the last thing anyone wants, and nobody is immoral for having them. (See 'impulsive thoughts' if you need a term.)

-Anorexic is not a synonym for thin or emaciated. The majority of anorexic people have OSFED atypical anorexia – that is, their BMI is above 18.5. You cannot judge the severity of someone's illness by their appearance. (If you're worried about someone, look out more for rapid weight loss than thinness, even when it's occurring in someone in a larger body. 10kg in 10 weeks is never a good thing.)

-Eating disorders are not synonymous with just anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia is an ED, but it's nowhere near the most common. Bulimia is an ED, but again, not the most common. Together, they do not constitute the most common. The most common ED is binge-eating disorder, and the second most common is atypical anorexia, which is one of many, many OSFED categories. Those living with ARFID, pica, night-eating syndrome, rumination disorder, subthreshold BN, subthreshold BED, and orthorexia all deserve dignity, compassion, and acknowledgement. Remember: EDs are not necessarily thin, and never glamorous.

-Schizophrenic is not a synonym of all over the place, abnormal, unpredictable, dangerous, or crazy. Nor is schizoid or schizotypal. Folks with schizophrenia spectrum disorders live with hallucinations, delusions, disorganised thoughts/behaviour, and/or catatonia. They are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators, and go to huge lengths to act okay even when distressed by symptoms.

-Schizophrenic is also not a synonym of multiple personalities/volatile. For the disorder involving having different facets of personality that are generally unaware of each other, see Dissociative Identity Disorder, and even then, don't assume it's a) dramatic as it is in the movies; b) evil; or c) trivial. DID is a trauma disorder.

-Delusional is not a synonym of wrong. Nor is it the same as this politician/friend is saying something I do not like/that is potentially dangerous. Delusions are false, fixed beliefs held despite evidence. And generally, folks with delusions don't tend to proselytise them. I know that certain politicians have beliefs that seem to persist in the face of evidence, but nevertheless, we don't need to stigmatise mental illness further to call out poor political/social behaviour. If you need a word for the pundit spewing potentially dangerous content, use 'dangerous' or 'wrong', but don't call them delusional.

-Bipolar is not a synonym of all over the place or fluctuating results. Bipolar disorder involves mood states that, even in the rapid cycling form, tend to last at least 3-4 days (mania) and weeks (depression). If you need a word for the weather, use 'British' instead.

-Psychotic is not a synonym of evil. Psychosis is losing touch with reality, whether it be through hallucinations or delusions. It doesn't make a person bad or violent. It's just a neurological phenomenon that may be distressing. It's also relatively common: 6-15% of people will hallucinate in their lifetime.

-ADHD is not a synonym of just quirky/scattered/forgetful/unfocussed/lazy/careless. ADHD is fundamentally a disorder of being able to choose where to direct attention, rather than of just I can't focus. If someone can't tune out the noise of the crowd, but can't prevent themself focussing on something trivial because their brain is wired that way, it's not laziness or just being quirky/scattered.

-Autistic meltdown is not a synonym of temper tantrum.

-Borderline is not a synonym of harridan.

-Narcissist is not a synonym of abuser.

-Mentally ill is not a synonym of volatile or bad person. This doesn't mean we have to make something artificially positive out of mental disorders. If there is good to be found in certain disorders, great; if there is nothing positive about living with certain others, that doesn't make you any less real or resilient than anyone else. It's okay to have complex feelings about your own disorders. It's okay to feel exhausted or frustrated by a disorder. But never should anyone have to face stigma.

#vent post but also important #ocd #intrusive thoughts #eating disorders #eds #schziophrenia #delusions #bipolar disorder #bipolar #psychosis #adhd #bpd #npd #cluster b #mental illness discourse #i want to make this for a couple of reasons:#a) i have intrusive thoughts (and possibly inserted thoughts) and they're awful #b) i've had OSFED and seeing the AN = thin stereotype is... frustrating #c) so so many people live with the other disorders on this list and don't get help and support because of stereotypes #d) so long as stereotype persists the medical system will not acknowledge the needs of its patients #e) while i don't have the right to speak over anyone with any of these disorders i can at least try to start a conversation #those of you with the above disorders: feel free to correct me if i stuffed up a detail #nt people you may interact with this post #everyone: feel free to add more to the list

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bpdcodone · 1 month

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I feel like the worst person alive but simultaneously the most beautiful handsome man to walk the earth 🤪

Also I need my FP

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anonsystem · 8 months

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Here's one for the ASPDers and the bordies and the narcs who HAVE been abusive, who WERE toxic and harmful, who DID perpetuate their own trauma. I see you trying to be better, and I'm proud of you. You deserve another chance, and you deserve to find (or build) a community that recognizes your history and loves you anyway. You are not condemned to be a monster forever. You can change.

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maybe-an-aspd-angel · 2 years

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venusfaierie · 1 year

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so my favs get to be unhinged and commit atrocities and everyone calls them babygirl, but when i suggest murder i’m looked at like i’m insane and told to “get help” ok i see how it is

#cluster b #bpd #npd #aspd #hpd #actually bpd #actually borderline #actually npd #actually narcissistic #npd tag #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #npd thoughts #npd mood #npd things #bpd things #living with bpd #living with npd

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bruhstation · 5 days

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Curious question, what exactly is Spencer's (more lore-y/important) role within CSTM besides from (most likely) being the "storywise a well-written villain, irl just a cocky idiot"

Like I mean he did try to scrap/cause harm to Hiro, but any other crimes he's done to affect other characters' arcs or/and big plots?

( -🧀non)

spencer's most notable influence was in the HOTR arc. story-wise, he is supposed to challenge hiro's values and give the older man a metaphorical slap to the face (funnily enough, spencer chasing hiro around the island reminded hiro that he still wanted to live and gave him a reason to carry on despite losing his family and being a patron of the gold dust). spencer's biggest crime is trying to hunt down hiro. he doesn't get any more worse than that, luckily. I've mentioned his other disrespectful as hell actions multiple times in this blog too but atp it's more annoying than insensitive or offensive to gordon and scott

writing sense I wanted to make spencer gordon's antithesis. the basis is that "spencer is what gordon could've turned out had it not been for his loved ones" and I just wrote what I wanted to write! they represent both sides of the gresley family -- gordon grew up with a loving family, spencer grew up in an environment where his relatives would rip each other apart for land and inheritance. gordon lost his family members bit by bit while spencer's still standing (with a few loses). gordon and spencer both heavily struggled with maintaining long-term friendships in their youths, but while gordon eventually hardened his heart and let his short lived connections come and go, spencer messed with people just to feel some sort of relief in his heart. both gordon and spencer are old pompous showoffs, but while gordon strived to become a better person because he realizes that he doesn't want to lose the people important to him anymore, spencer gave up on correcting himself because he thinks he's way too far gone (and being mean is way easier). then hiro came to view

spencer's a fun character. he makes me a bit sad. then I remember that he visits his cousin's funerals for the food and it makes me stifle my laughter like that one ish*wspeed gif

#asks #cheese anon #casa tidmouth #ttte spencer #its funny how hiro is like so unbothered by spencer by the time the hotr arc is over #even thinks of him as a friend and wanted to study him while spencer's like GET AWAY FROM MEEEE (I do like the attention though.)#hiro: I'm so depressed. I lost my family. my house. I don't know anyone and nobody knows me. if only I joined my family #spencer: you should’ve joined your family #hiro in n*co r*bin's voice: I WANT TO LIVE! I WANT TO LIIIIIVEEEE!!!!!!#spencer also warmed up to gordon in act 2 and started to cut out the hater behavior. still a hater though but he's doing sliiiightly better #also he has npd and aspd just like me which is why hes my utmost beloathed character

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autopsyfreak · 19 days

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hey (with the intention of cutting you open and living inside you so that we never have to part because you’re my fp and i love you and if you ever abandon me i’ll go insane)

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the-ugly-ly · 18 days

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i literally cannot be friends with someone that competes with me in any way… which is really fucking hard because there are so many amazing and beautiful talented people:

so i end up being fucking lonely as shit instead.

#bpd #borderline pd #borderline personality disorder #living with borderline #npd traits #npd safe #npd #bpd culture is #npd culture is #cluster b safe #cluster b memes #cluster b

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kidrunaway · 4 months

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Hey I don't usually post serious stuff but I want to use my platform to speak up about the scandal happening in Germany right now.

If you're able to take your time to read this article then please do. Here's a short summary of what's going on however;

Correktiv a group of independent researchers and journalists went undercover into the right wing scene in Germany and they discovered something big. If you're German I'd definitely recommend reading this article. If you're able to translate it I'd also recommend reading it because this is insane.

On November 25th people from Correktiv went into a secret meeting from right wing people in Germany. Some of the people who were at the meeting, were people who are from the right wing party. One of them was even the right hand man of the leader of the party Alice Weidel. They had people who work finance, had lawyers, had doctors, had all types of people.

All of them were making sinister plans on how to get rid of non ethnically German people in Germany, no matter if you have German citizenship, no matter if you were born in Germany, if you are not ethnically German they want you out. That is their plan.

They talked about possible methods as well on how to get rid of us so that this goal could be accomplished. A lot of these people are millionaires, seriously influential people, that are coming together in a secret meeting to discuss how to get rid of every single immigrant and send them to Africa.

They Firstly want to start with everybody that lives in Germany but doesn't have a German citizenship yet, as they're quote on quote the easiest to get rid of. Then they want to get rid of those immigrants that were born and raised in Germany and also have a German citizenship, but happen to not be ethnically German. This is one of the secret meeting and it just leaves me wondering how many there are.

The right wing extremism has been on a rise in Germany once again. They're one of the most powerful parties right now. History repeats itself again.

The only thing I ask of you to do is spread the news and sign this petition.

#The german constitution is most likely not going to let this slide as you cant just deport people that have a german citizenship.#there used to be another political group called NPD and that got banned as well.#however i still want to make others aware of this and make sure we can do something to stop this.#please note that i live in germany and im not ethnically german whatsoever so id really appreciate some help #theres way too many people that are voting for the AFD and its scary.

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moonlit-positivity · 2 months

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Am I Being Manipulative? A checklist:

(cw: this post is not going to be for everyone. This is a post particularly for people who struggle with projection, self awareness, self esteem, abandonment, delusions of grandeur, and severe rejection sensitivity. This is not a post to demonize symptoms of NPD or any other cluster B personality disorder. This post is to actually provide you with a checklist of what manipulative behaviors look like and how you can manage them if you are someone who struggles to understand the difference. The cruel fact is that projection & manipulation are often signs of extreme childhood trauma & survival. Sometimes the awareness just isn't there to know if & when you are actually causing someone else extreme distress. Id like this to be a post of reference of how you can better cope when these defense mechanisms present themselves. But the other cruel fact is that many, many people have been on the receiving end of manipulative and abusive behaviors, too. And your trauma around this topic is valid. Your feelings of needing accountability and acknowledgement are valid. If that is the case, then reading this post may not be for you. Please read & interact with care.)

You are being manipulative & causing other people harm if you do any of the following:

You consider ways to skew the story to make yourself look better or to make people feel guilty or take pity on you in order to get your needs met, because you're not sure how else to ask & the thought of someone saying "I cant do that for you" is just not an option you can account for

Situations where someone is asking you for clarity, asking you for an apology, or telling you that they are hurt by something you did to them, scares you and triggers a bigger need to avoid and make yourself bigger than them so you can avoid the feeling of being hurt

Every interaction you have with everyone around you feels like you're playing a game of chess in your mind, where the end goal for you is to get your needs met however & in whatever ways you can, even and especially if you feel like this person is going to say "no"

You consider every possible scenario and how you can skew the story to get what you need in every single context, because you need it to happen and if someone were to tell you "i cant do that for you" it would send you into a spiral

You lie & use emotional manipulation to get what you need out of people because you're too scared they're gonna say "no", or judge you, or berate you, etc

You feel like everyone else in the world has so much, while you have nothing, and the way you cope with this is to make those people who have more than you suffer in ways that give you a sense of justice being restored to the world

You feel like you are the only person in the world who is allowed to have anything, even if & when you've never had anything a goddamn day in your life, and it pisses you off when others can't & don't give that to you

You feel naturally disgusted with yourself & with everyone else around you, particularly if they're expressing things that make you feel jealous & left out & resentful because they have it but you don't. So you find ways to tear them down in the process because it makes you feel better about it, like a child lashing out in anger and vengeance

You often find yourself planning ways to get revenge or how to bring people down a notch or two, which is probably reflective of how your parents/abusers treated you.

You are always in competition to be better than everyone else around you, because your childhood made you feel like competition is all that life has to offer.

You throw tantrums or fits when someone tells you "no", going so far as to even threaten death or get physically volatile in the process, because there has never been anyone there to give you this deep need for unconditional love & protection. So any time that need gets threatened or taken away, you do what you can out of pure fear & survival to latch on. This includes threatening suicide if someone were to leave you.

Someone expressing their limits and concerns pisses you off because how else do you get what you need from them? So you either ignore, downplay, or act like you didn't hear them & continue to do it anyway

You often feel like you need to project yourself as having much higher expectations and accomplishments than everyone else. Nothing else matters except how much bigger you are then they are.

You would rather be alone than in the company of someone who doesn't worship your every move, because this is how you've adapted to the extreme neglect of your childhood

Someone asking you to explain yourself makes you feel extreme rage and the need to shit all over them because you're too scared to admit you don't know either.

You enjoy the concept of power and authority and want to make people suffer for what they've done to you in the past by projecting yourself to be this all mighty entity of power and authority yourself

Which is a lot of words just to say you're rooted in dominance & control. Every single thing you do is a power dynamic. And you will never find happiness because you're rooted in this God like vision of perfectionism, even for yourself, that is just as equally God like in how unobtainable it is to reality.

You are constantly reliving the fears of your childhood experiences and as a result there is this huge need to be the biggest in the room so you can hurt them before they hurt you first- hence why you can't take "no" for an option

If reading this list has pissed you off or triggered you in some way that you feel like now you gotta tell me how much I suck and how worthless I am and how I don't know jack shit because it threatens you to take a deeper look at yourself and ask what you can do about it.

So here's what to do about it:

Become aware of your behavior. Hopefully this checklist will help you with that.

Work real hard at noticing the thoughts & situations that have you acting this way. What is happening around you? What has triggered these deep rooted fears & defense mechanisms? How often does this happen? Things like that.

Become aware of the fact that other people are going to reject you. Other people are going to need to step away and self care at some point. Turn your attention to how you respond when these moments come up.

Start working on self validation. It's normal to struggle with these types of symptoms for what you've been through. Try working real hard to find ways to normalize your feelings. Your anger and sense of justice is valid for what you went through. It is normal to want to see someone suffer after you have suffered so many big and horrific things. It can feel like, "why me?" And "why do I have to suffer, when everyone else around me doesn't?" And yes, that is a very valid feeling. Why do you have to suffer? It shouldn't have happened.

That being said. Become aware that there is a difference in feeling something, and acting on that feeling.

Acknowledge the fact that just because you're feeling it, doesn't mean your actions thereafter won't hurt someone else. You can have all the best intentions in the world. You can be truly suffering and feel so justified in your anger and the way you respond to it. But that doesn't mean the person next to you has to tolerate it, excuse it, or feel obligated to stay with you as a result. Become aware that your actions directly affect the people around you, whether you want to acknowledge that or not, whether youre in survival mode or not. You lashing out will affect the person around you. They will be affected by it. And they will have the right to that pain. You have to find ways to acknowledge and cope with this.

Start finding ways to cope with the trauma & the ways your body reacts when these triggers come up. This can be done by looking into somatic healing, nervous system healing, and inner child healing. And yes, I know there is a lot of rhetoric against "narcissistic abuse" and how narcissists supposedly can't do things like this. Well, please keep reading. I have listed other things below that help further debunk this. The point is, regardless of your diagnosis, regardless of your symptoms, your body is activated into fight/flight/freeze/fawn when these moments come up. Many people do not wish to talk about how NPD and other cluster B PDs are there from childhood trauma, too. You can absolutely heal this. Your body, your nervous system, your brain, you. You are capable of the self awareness needed to not only break out of these abusive mindsets but also heal yourself and your body triggers so you can make better informed decisions about what your brain is yelling at you during these moments.

And here's what to do about it on a deeper level:

Admit to yourself what your parents did to you. Admit what you went through in your childhood. Admit how much it hurt and how much of your life it has stolen from you. Stop ignoring it and pretending like it doesn't exist. It happened. And it has stolen even your very core of existence even to this day.

Get. Serious. About. Your. Life. Life is not a game. You remaining ignorant to yourself and your rage and inability to look deeper and be vulnerable, is going to hurt a lot more than just the others around you. It's going to be your funeral in the end. If you do not find ways to start looking deeper and address the pain & trauma that surrounds you, then you are going to die this way. Recovery is possible. Healing is possible. You have got to find a way to get serious about cultivating that kind of life for yourself.

Therapy is not all there is to healing. But it is a good fucking idea. You want to find someone trauma informed. Trauma therapy is currently being reworked to include a model of the dysfunctional family system. This is just a fancy way of saying trauma informed therapists know that ALL of your defense mechanisms are here because of what you went through as a kid. Your partner, your friends, your family? They're not gonna be able to handle your behaviors. That primal need for unconditional love & support? You threatening suicide is not going to get you that. A therapist, however, would. Trauma informed & trauma aware therapists already know you wanna off yourself at the drop of a dime and they still wanna help you sort it out for yourself. Think about that for a while.

Consider what it is you want & need out of your life. Yes, at some point in your life you will need to do some emotional work of your own. Find ways to get motivated about your health & healing. Make it about you! But in a better way that will get you working through the horrors and pain of your past, rather than shutting down & getting defensive when others ask you for that same type of energy right back.

Have you noticed the trend in all those above scenarios? They all revolve around people not being able to caretake you 24/7. At some point you will have to face these types of problems on your own. So consider asking yourself these types of things instead:

- what would happen if they were to say "no"? What's that worst case scenario that you're so scared of happening?

- How do you handle rejection? How do you want to handle rejection? What kind of person do you want to be at the end of the day? Do you want to have the pain and suffering of continuing the cycle of what your parents taught you? Or do you want to try real hard to break free and find healthier ways to address these hard & difficult topics?

- How can you show up for yourself a little bit more than you do right now? What are you avoiding? What needs to be said & addressed so you can move on & work on restoring yourself a sense of balance and control back to your life? Address these things. Don't let them add up.

Prioritize honesty. Prioritize raw genuine honesty with yourself and everyone else around you. Stop lying. Even the small offenses. There is literally no need. If you don't feel safe enough to be honest? Consider asking why you don't feel safe and go from there.

Become aware of and work real hard to address the need for dominance and control in all that you do. You can't control the outcome. You can't control someone else's limits to what they will and won't want to do for you. You can't make people stay if they don't want to. But you can control other things, like who you ask & what you do when others can't be there for you 24/7. You find other ways to cope & get your needs met.

Just be honest and ask for whatever it is you want & need from people. Like literally that's it. There is no need to play a mind game with someone who has no correlation to what you went through as a kid. You've got to know that about yourself. Youve got to know that your childhood is the source of the mindgame. Youve got to realize the game of chess you are playing is with your abusers who taught you how to play. The person sitting next to you? Has absolutely no connection to your shitty abusive parents/abusers. Don't make them suffer for that.

Address & work real hard on acknowledging that fear of being vulnerable. Work real hard on addressing your fears with yourself. Fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of failure. Work hard to undo the harmful shit your parents have given you to work with.

Stop selling yourself short. You being diagnosed with NPD, BPD, ASPD, etc, has nothing to do with your capability to self inspect and grow as a human being. Stop with the "I can't help it, it's just the way I am." As someone who used to feel that way, let me tell you one goddamn thing in this world that will never fuckin change: you deserve a better way of life. But you are not gonna get that without doing a little bit of work and putting in a teeny tiny amount of effort into changing the status quo. At the end of the day, you control yourself. Nobody else controls you, your words, your actions, your mindsets? All you. "I can't help it" means "I don't have enough guidance and validation from my childhood past to know I feel safe enough to change my behavior. Because nobody has ever showed me true unconditional love." Thing is, you've got to go through a whole helluva lot of mourning to even understand that nobody else will be able to replicate the love your parents should have given you. This is your job, and it's a job you should have never been given to begin with. But it is still your job at the end of the day. No one else. Not your partner. Not your besties. But you. Find ways to restore faith in yourself. Don't you ever fuckin forget that. Not a goddamn thing else in this world matters outside of that.

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If you found this helpful, please consider reblogging. If you need to vent and yell about there being a post catering to NPD & abusive behaviors, please consider reblogging anyway. The truth of the matter is that there are so few actually useful introspective sources out there for people who struggle with projection, and we live in a day and age where people want immediate solutions. Therapy! Yes. Therapy is a great idea. But we can still curate a deeper understanding outside of therapy too.

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Thanks for reading. Hope this helps 🌸

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