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#ocd
localmika · 32 minutes ago
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tw// mention suicide
I am such a terrible person that when i wake up in the moring the first thing that comes to my mind is to fucking kill myself.
Life is getting so exhausting and I am either angry or apathetic all the fucking time. And when i appear happy I am just faking it for the people around me because I don't wanna be seen as selfish.
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highkeybipolar · 42 minutes ago
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If your group of friends don’t get that you need to take care of yourself in order to be okay and being able to take care of them too, are they really your friends?
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free--therapy · an hour ago
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More About The Amygdala
Our Amygdala is always working. It's always watching our world passively, in the background, looking for signs of danger. When we're actually facing a real danger, this is a good thing when it works. Despite living a life of comfort and safety, our Amygdalas work as if we were still in the time of our ancestors, and will often make the mistake of seeing dangers when there aren't any.
Learn By Association, Not Logic or Reason
Running away from any apparent danger will allow it to stand down and go back to quietly watching as it does. If we ran away from someone trying to mug us, this is definitely a good thing. However, if we run away from a grocery store, a dog on its leash, this doesn't seem rational. Our Amygdalas are conditioned to see these things as dangerous or threats, making us afraid the next time we may come into contact with them.
The Amygdala learns by association. Being out in public or seeing that dog on the leash will be associated with danger, thus showing that it doesn't learn by our conscious thoughts. This is why we can't simply just talk ourselves out of anxieties or phobias. At this point, it becomes a physiological response that's out of our control, even though some other people can easily dismiss what we perceive as dangers as something not to be scared of. The fear is stored as a fear memory or conditioned fear, and can only be relieved by more conditioning, not reasoning or discussion.
Learns When Afraid
The Amygdala only learns when it's fully activated: when a danger is detected. It will only form new memories and associations, new lessons, when we're afraid. This is what forms trauma in us. Usually, outside of these occurrences, the Amygdala is on autopilot and passively watching.
So what does this mean? If we stay away from the things we associate with our fears, it's going to keep believing the same old mistakes, without a chance to learn anything new or wanting to overcome it. This is how we're able to develop a sense of what's good or bad for us (example: maybe you were tempted to touch the stove as a kid and had to find out the hard way why our parents don't let us do it).
How to "Talk" to Our Amygdala
The Amygdala only learns from experiences. If we're always fleeing away from things when we're having anxiety attacks, then our Amygdalas will learn that you must always "flight" in order to be safe, instead of maybe standing up against it and fighting.
So how can we get our Amygdala to learn something new, and conquer the things that scare us? We're going to have to activate it by exposing ourselves to our triggers that make us afraid. Sounds scary right? Keep in mind that Exposure Therapy intentionally exposes us to our fears in a gradual, incremental way. You won't be jumping in right away.
Doing this will give our Amygdalas the chance to learn that it has gotten all worked up about nothing. This is the conditioning we need to make ourselves feel better about them. And, with repetition and practice, our brains will develop new memories that let us get on with our lives without being disrupted by our anxiety. It is definitely possible to overcome our phobias!
Retraining the Amygdala
Like mentioned above, we don't have to jump in with both feet when it comes to Exposure Therapy. The whole point of ET is to do it slowly to build confidence in ourselves. What we need to do is to continually figure out a way to activate our Amygdala by exposing ourselves to these fears, then also remain in place to make sure that the fear will leave before we do. We can use a variety of healthy coping mechanisms to help us do so, or we can just hang around, and wait for the fear to subside. Either way, ET will enable us to retrain our Amygdala with learning new ways it can absorb.
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wormpoet · 2 hours ago
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its been a minute so hi friendly reminder i run a neurodivergence discord server!
all neurodivergent (ocd, schizo-spec, autism, etc) people welcome!!
this server is supportive of self diagnosis and is 16+! (max age 25)
heres the link! if it doesnt work hmu in dms and i'll give u a new one!
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ninjagobf · 2 hours ago
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getting paranoid again about dying. i hate thinking about it but it's gotten worse ever since last year and i can't do anything except distract myself
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sean-vs-nerotypicality · 2 hours ago
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“It’s ocd as an app!! Download now!!
Ive made a rant about this before on a different account but have lost the account and original post but would like to talk about it again.
A year or two back I kept seeing an ad about a game that was about fixing things out of place, like a book out of place on a bookshelf or a line of pencils and a few being out of place. The tag line the app had was “it’s ocd as a game” My biggest issue is that 1.) OCD is not just being a perfectionist and finding things out of place annoying and 2.) A MENTAL OR PHYSICAL DISABILITY SHOULD NEVER BE A MARKETING PLOY 
OCD is not just “that pencil is out of play it bugs me” it’s also dark and intrusive thoughts as well as obsessions and compulsions. If you’re going to market an app as “ocd as a game” either talk about the actual disability and help educate people or don’t use a disability as Marketing ploy.
Sorry this post is so short as I’ve stated I lost the original post and can’t find my sources I used, and as a note the app has changed its name and has stopped using ocd as a marketing ploy shortly after my original post!
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what-username-where · 2 hours ago
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Anyone else with trich pull everywhere EXCEPT their head hair? Like, eyebrows, eyelashes, armpits, groin, hell even arm and leg hair is all fair game, but not the head for some reason
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pleuvoire · 2 hours ago
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random but i wish the person who had sent me an anon a month or so ago about not making posts talking down to poor people about politics had just said “you seem middle class” instead of listing out all the personal details i’ve mentioned about my life over the months or years that led them to believe that, because it super reignited my paranoia that at all times there are eyes on me keeping track of every single detail that could help in tallying up my faults and anything i say will be remembered forever (they mentioned me owning a macbook. when was the last time i mentioned owning a macbook? i don’t remember? it might have been years?) and it fucked me up for a long time afterwards. especially with it being anonymous which always creates in me the deep fear of being watched and judged by some faceless unknown factor that you can’t identify or reach out to for further dialogue and who could be anyone following you (it’s why i usually have anon off but i’d turned it back on recently for like an ask meme or something). and there were other ways in which it still affects me that feel too silly or hard-to-describe to mention. i don’t fault that person for sending the ask (although after taking a long scroll through my archive when i got the ask i do think they exaggerated the frequency with which i make posts like that), the intent was good but i just wish the delivery and wording had been way different. they had no way of knowing and it’s not anyone’s fault but my mental illness here but god i wish i wasn’t mentally ill like this when small things can affect me so much weeks and months later
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crazybagelbitch · 3 hours ago
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the thing about having contamination OCD during a pandemic is that going to the grocery store and touching stuff is that it’s an Olympic caliber event in emotional endurance and now i feel like I have to lie in bed to recover
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introspectivetransguy · 4 hours ago
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I have been struggling with my mental health lately. This pic was taken shortly after a long crying spell. There is a lot on my mind. So many losses and stressors. Everyone has been experiencing the anxiety that this pandemic has caused us over the last 15 months. I am no exception. I get my second vaccine shot on Sunday. My partner and twin are already fully vaccinated. There is some relief that things may be getting to a point where we can start doing some "normal" things. It would be wonderful if we get to have a Pride this June.
Over the last 9 months, I have had to cope and grieve the death of my uncle/godfather, my best friend, and another friend. Cancer took my Uncle Tom. He was such a kind and gentle soul. He really made family functions more comfortable. He always wanted to know how I was doing and what I was up to. And he listened. I miss that.
I lost my best friend from California the day after Christmas to an overdose. No one knows if it was accidental or not. But I don't believe he would have taken anything with fentanyl in it if he wasn't suicidal. When I found out, I dissociated on and off for a few days. I was very sad, angry, and suicidal. It was quite a shock... and I have still not fully accepted that he is gone.
A few weeks ago I found out another trans male friend of mine killed himself. He had been struggling mentally for a long time. We knew each other when we both were at the beginning of our transitions 15+ years ago. It's hard to see 2 trans guys, around my age, and on opposite sides of the country kill themselves. It has been very difficult just trying to process it.
Along with the deaths, I have also been trying to cope with the loss of a close friendship with a friend I had for 20+ years. We met in college. We were more of acquaintances and hung out with the same group of people. But we got closer in our 30's and she became one of my closest friends. When my partner and I moved back to RI, we began renting a house from her father on a month to month basis. She is technically a roommate and all her stuff is here, even though she lives at her parents. Over the last year and a half, her substance abuse has increasing made living in this house difficult. About 6 months ago we agreed that she wouldn't drink alcohol here anymore. I also tried to set some other boundaries a month ago and a huge fight ensued. I thought it was settled, but then a few days later she sent me a very hurtful email. She targeted everything she thought would trigger me. And she was right. I ended up hurting myself so bad that I gave myself a concussion. I decided I wasn't ready to talk to her and she got her father to not renew our lease. Now we have to move by the end of the month. Luckily we found housing, but it was very stressful. And losing another close friend, when I don't have many, makes me very sad and like there's something wrong with me.
Another major loss I am dealing with is the relationship I had hoped I would have with my parents. My entire life I have wanted to please my parents, make them proud of me, and make them accept me. I grew up as a highly sensitive child. My parents didn't understand or know how to cope with that. I was often told I was too sensitive and to not feel the way I did. I was almost always told that there was no reason to be anxious and to stop. I had problems talking in public, at school, etc. I got angry and overwhelmed often. I would bang my head against the wall whenever that happened. My parents never told my pediatrician or took me to see a therapist. Their response to my self harm was to punish me. I was invalidated often. This past year, I have tried to talk to my parents about some of their hateful and hurtful posts on Facebook and got ignored. Every interaction I have with them makes me feel unloved and unworthy. Even when they say they love me. I know they do, but they rarely show it. I have decided that it's in my best interest to limit my interaction with them. They do that already. They never call and rarely text me. On Mother's Day I sent my Mom a Bitmoji text of me hanging out a bouquet of flowers saying Happy Mother's Day. I want to show her that I love her, but I'm not going to put all my energy into a toxic relationship anymore. It hurts too much. It's a painful situation. I know it's hard for her too. But I have to do what's healthy for me.
Earlier this year I also began working a lot on my trauma history in individual therapy. I talk a lot about my relationship with my parents, as well as a couple of sexual assaults I have experienced. Other traumatic events include seeing blood and dead bodies after a motorcycle accident and then a car accident in front of my childhood home. I have also been in quite a few car accidents and a motorcycle accident myself.
Due to all the stressors and my past traumas, my depression and anxiety has gotten really bad. It's been a long time since I've felt this bad. My therapist referred me to a partial hospitalization program because I am suicidal and self harming. I was close to having to go inpatient, but I feel like I have to stay alive for my partner and twin. So, I had an evaluation/diagnostic interview done at the hospital and started the program. It is exhausting work. But I'm doing it. The psychiatrist talked to me about the diagnoses she thinks I struggle with. Primary diagnosis is PTSD. Other diagnoses include Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and some kind of personality disorder (likely Avoidant and/or Borderline). I don't have to agree with all the diagnoses, I just have to do the work in the program. I am on the BEAR track developed for people struggling with "borderline personality disorder symptoms." I like the therapist and psychiatrist I see every day. It's Monday through Friday 8am-1:30pm. I'm starting to feel less reactive and being more aware of my "rabbit hole" thinking where I keep spiraling from one shitty thing to the next. I hope this program gets me back on track. I was doing really well coping with my mental illnesses with using DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills and with the support I had. Then one awful thing after another happened and my mental health declined. I don't want to accept that these things have happened, but I can't move forward until I do.
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okay but jack in this fic is like i dont need to drive and dean is like you would change your mind if it was my car.
like bitch me too bring me your damn car and teach me how to drive. i’m terrified of driving but i think i would get over it for that.
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loveomhh · 7 hours ago
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Yup that’s my story! Now back to braiding. Reveal coming... #braider #braidlife #ocd #justalittlecrazy #ilovebraiding #braidsbraidsbraids #braidstyles #reveal #comingsoon #debraharebey @_omhhredroom https://www.instagram.com/p/COuvLDwjW0j/?igshid=1t6yomhofzkuy
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sensitivityreaders · 7 hours ago
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sensitivity reader
name: clover
pronouns: they/them
age: minor
reads for: i am white, queer/gay identified, non binary, able bodied, OCD & askenazi jewish. i can read for jewish content, queer content, ocd related content and genderqueer content
sensitivity reading:
general questions and discussion: yes in-depth discussion of plots and characters: yes partial read (relevant sections): yes full read: no
willing to read: original work
unwilling to read: fanfiction, erotica/nsfw/explicit scenes, homo/transphobic bully x victim or nazi x jew
rates: $1 per 1,000 words. though not really in this for rates, so anything goes
contact: available upon request
additional notes: dont be afraid to ask honest questions! no question is stupid, and unknowing ignorance is not hate
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schizofilmic · 11 hours ago
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Watch "80's Dance Fitness Workout "Every Little Step" Bobby Brown with Old School Dance Fitness" on YouTube
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#letsdance & go Berserk on #mentalillness
As I get out-of-mind with @REFITREV
Psychin' myself out of #OCD
Rockin' psychotic symptoms
Colliding in a rhythmic #dance with #ADHD
In my own #dance therapy
With @CatherineBallas my #fitness shrink!
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nagichi-boop · 11 hours ago
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Website: You shouldn’t pick your own spots.
Me: :(
Website: But if you still wanna do it, here’s how.
Me: :D
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schizofilmic · 11 hours ago
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Watch ""Me Without You" || TobyMac || Dance Fitness || REFIT® Revolution" on YouTube
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#letsdance & go Berserk on #mentalillness
As I get out-of-mind with @REFITREV
Psychin' myself out of #OCD
Rockin' psychotic symptoms
Colliding in a rhythmic #dance with #ADHD
In my own #dance therapy
With @CatherineBallas my #fitness shrink!
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getoutofyourmynd · 11 hours ago
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When you're trying to finally put your laundry away so you can actually sleep in bed but you find a ukulele in your closet so instead of finishing you learn to play the ukulele and teach yourself I'm Yours by Jason Mraz at midnight.
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schizofilmic · 11 hours ago
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Watch "“My Head and My Heart” || @Ava Max || Dance Fitness Choreography || REFIT® Revolution" on YouTube
youtube
#letsdance & go Berserk on #mentalillness
As I get out-of-mind with @REFITREV
Psychin' myself out of #OCD
Rockin' psychotic symptoms
Colliding in a rhythmic #dance with #ADHD
In my own #dance therapy
With @CatherineBallas my #fitness shrink!
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