moonlit-positivity

[moonlit-positivity]

If the right way is too hard, fuck it. Do it the wrong way.

Folding clothes keeps you from getting the laundry done? Stop folding clothes. Put a basket in your room and throw your unfolded clean stuff into it right out of the dryer, it's fine.

Rinsing dishes off keeps you from loading the dishwasher? Load them dirty and run it twice.

Chopping onions keeps you from making yourself dinner? Buy the freezer bags of chopped onions.

You forget to take your meds and don't want to get out of bed to get them? Start putting them next to the bed.

Can't keep up with the dishes? Get paper plates. Worried about environment impact? Order biodegradable ones online if your local store doesn't have one.

Make the task easier. Put things where you use them instead of where they "go." Eliminate the steps that keep you from finishing the task. Eliminate the task that is stressing you out.

Do it the "wrong" way. It's literally fine.

#LIFE IS A SANDBOX #AND WE ARE ALL CHILDREN WITH BUCKETS AND PAILS #EXPERIMENT WITH THE SAND! #but please dont eat it #😭

[moonlit-positivity]

Our Ark Chewth Picks have re-stocked!

These are available in textured or smooth, in three different chew strengths. We have also added some new colours! There are also mix packs available which include one of each strength to try out!

You can see our full collection of ark chews here! These include chewable spoons, and various chewable necklace options.

FlappyHappy is an autistic run small business, and we appreciate any help in getting the word out!

#this would have saved so many of my old nintendo DS styluses #omg #i need like 50 #😭😭😭😭😭😭

[moonlit-positivity]

"Am I not trying hard enough? Am I not doing enough?" You're doing too much. Slow it down. It will come when it comes. Rest.

[moonlit-positivity]

You deserve a happy ending. No matter what the situation is, no matter how hard it is to survive and cope. You deserve a true genuine happy ending.

[moonlit-positivity]

Please never stop reaching for the light. You can and you absolutely will find it some day. ✨

[moonlit-positivity]

Consider all the ways anger shows up in your life.

Active anger:

Shouting

Physical aggression

Name calling

Degradation

Manipulation

Abuse

Throwing things, smashing things in an unsafe manner

Escalating arguments

Controlling behaviors

Controlling how ppl will react/respond

Starting arguments

Actively causing harm

Self harm

Self sabotage

Seething

Rage

Jealousy

Resentments

Angry thoughts

Suicidal thoughts

Anger at people who wronged you

Fight response

Passive anger:

Allowing your jealousy to dictate how you react & respond to something

Passive aggression

Slipping into long depressive episodes

Dissociation or feeling too numb

Being invalidated by others

Having your concerns downplayed or minimalized

Avoidance

Projection

Denial

Escapism

Alcohol & drugs

Maladaptive behaviors

Staying silent when something bothers you

Fawning or groveling

People pleasing tendencies

Never being able to open up to others out of fear of being judged or abandoned

Nightmares

Bedrotting

Eating disorders

Physical symptoms like headaches & stomach issues

Ghosting people or avoiding possible confrontations

Vague posting on social media

Too loose boundaries, no concept of saying "no"

Flight/freeze/fawn responses

Anger in itself isn't the issue. The issue is the lack of awareness of how to recognize when you're angry, and how to substitute the *reaction* with better, healthier, and safer ways to communicate it.

You can do this. Keep it up! ❤️‍🩹🌸

Let's talk about anger (tw)

Be nice to your anger. Anger is just as useful, valid, and necessary to have as any other emotion because anger tells us when we have been violated. And that can be a hard thing to sit with when you've grown up around physically abusive and volatile adults and as a result have come to fear any signs or displays of anger, or when you find yourself lashing out & repeating harmful behaviors, or directing that pain inwardly through self persecution and self harm. And these are all extremely painful ways to cope. The most painful aspect is that your mind and body do not forget your own self hating persecutions either, which in turn creates a further spiral of hatred and desecration, just because there is no one there to tell you your anger is normal.

We don't need to shame ourselves for feeling angry. We actually need to do the opposite- embrace the anger and the rage and understand that this emotion was born from you having your body and soul violated in the worst ways imaginable. It is only natural to want to fight back after experiencing something that horrific. Your anger is valid. And you've got to find ways to be okay with that. That is what's gonna help it move throughout your body in safer, kinder, and more wholesome ways. Once you understand that the rage is there to protect the innocence that was stolen from you, you can begin to work on protecting yourself from having to ever experience this feeling again. And you do that by working on restoring your boundaries and your voice to say "no" and fight back.

Just like any other emotion, try real hard to sit with the unpleasant feeling of anger and rage. Allow it to exist in your mind. Visualize it. I used to fantasize about murdering my abusers. That was my rage. I would draw vent art of me destroying the world. And that was my little child self getting revenge for things and situations she could not control. And that is 100% valid and 100% necessary in order to heal. We never get validation or acknowledgement or actually useful information for how to actually move anger. Well, this is how you do it. You gotta be just as nice and kind to it like you would your other emotions too. Ask it why it's there, what it needs, and how you can help ease the pain.

This is the uncomfortable truth of anger. And it helps the more you can talk about what they did to you in safe spaces that can help you understand you were not to blame for what happened to you. You were just a child. You absolutely did not need to see that or go through it at all. The fault is with the abusers and predators that did this to you. Not you.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps ❤️‍🩹

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[moonlit-positivity]

Your anger is valid. You are not your parents. Punch a pillow and scream out into the void. Your anger is not the same as what they put you through. You know the difference. They don't.

[moonlit-positivity]

I am sure it works for some, but the “you are not a burden” posts don’t help me. What helps me is remember that I am allowed to be a burden.

I put work into being there for loved ones, and I even inconvenience myself for strangers sometimes. I am also allowed to take up that space!

Loving someone often consists of work. But what we need to remember is we’re worth the work and effort! We deserve the work and effort.

[moonlit-positivity]

Somebody might need to hear this: hey. That was a really scary thing you had to go through. What an awful feeling to be carrying around. So deep inside where no one can hurt you like that ever again. If no one else has ever told you this before then I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you made it. And I'm so fucking sorry you had to see it to begin with. You absolutely did not need to see that. Not ever.

[moonlit-positivity]

Oh this is so good and might I add a few extra points:

Raise your self awareness levels. This can be as simple as the all dreaded journaling that everyone will push on you as if it's the only option to life. But before you go knocking it, consider just the concept of ✨asking yourself what bothers you in life✨ and being committed to listening to yourself rant and vent and consider things on a deeper level. Self exploration is seriously so underrated, it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

Expand your mental health awareness. Concepts like boundaries, rest, healing, recovery. You don't need to be suicidal and struggling in order to take care of your mental health. The fact that you're feeling guilty is the best way to tell-- you need a little extra love and guidance under the hood. And there's no shame in that. I've got plenty of ideas on how you can start that btw!

Since guilt and shame and horrors are being mentioned, I'm just gonna go ahead and drop my soap box loud and proud-- chances are you've got a trauma cooking up under that hood of yours. Look into your trauma recovery options. Do you have triggers? Nightmares? Flashbacks? Do you have a safe space to talk about all that kind of stuff? And be reassured and met with compassion and validation that can give you a sense of community and restore your faith in humanity? It's okay to talk about what's bothering you. It's okay to seek sources of help and guidance from others. And honestly I'm so proud of you for asking. That's not celebrated enough.

Find sources of guidance and inspiration that can help you reframe the guilt and shame, which recoverr so eloquently and beautifully shared! Toxic shame does no good for you! You're not some infallible god. You're human. Humans are flawed, complex beings. You're allowed to make mistakes. Find the courage to be soft and gentle with yourself rather than hard and cruel.

What are your strong points? Look nobody ever likes to answer that cuz it feels selfish, right? You've got strong points. You dared to ask a brave question, that makes you a very strong individual. You've got other things that will guide you forward outside of that guilt and shame. Let those aspects flourish too.

Also, a note on despair. Sometimes it is unavoidable. There is never any recognition for the excessive toll of depression in the human brain. Sometimes we cannot help but fall into our most isolating, depressive states. This can be gut wrenching to go through. It can have so many effects that not many ppl would ever be willing to admit out loud, like gaining weight, eating disorders, neglecting hygiene, self harm, and so many other things. If you find yourself in that despair, please be patient. You don't deserve to suffer so hard. But it is always a personal choice to do so, and you always have that right to how to feel your pain. Self compassion is a learned art born out of the sheer desperation to crawl your way back to the light. You're fine. You can make it through.

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹good luck anon & happy healing❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

How does one begin to love themselves in the face of unending terror and guilt?

i wish i knew, but i'm going to do my best to answer you. fair disclaimer that i'm extremely sick and i've got brain fog, so if nothing makes sense, i'll come back to it later on.

guilt is only as productive as our willingness to change. a lot of times it comes accompanied by the shame of what we should have been. there's no sustainable change through shame, i think we all realize that at some point in life.

as cliché as it sounds, what happened happened, there's only the future.

i know the terror can feel unending. it brings up a lot of despair. i know despair can be my biggest enemy. more than half of the times i thought about leaving this world were due to despair. i couldn't stomach living with so much pain in the world and inside me.

but despair is profitable for the ones that want you meek and calm. not only profitable but accommodating. in a sort of "things won't ever get better, so why fight anyways" way. i read a couple of articles on author and activists mariame kaba and kelly hayes on nihilism and pessimism. they published a book i've been wanting to read for a long time, in one of the articles they said, "let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair".

i know it's easier said than done. i myself tend to cave in to despair, but despair is often passive. you sit on the couch, you contemplate all the ways life sucks and often times, you don't do anything about it. if we sink into despair, into the terror and the guilt, we'll stay bed-ridden, watching bad reality tv as the world outside comes crashing down.

terror and guilt are not the be all, end all of life. they exist as a consequence rather than a doomed fate which is set in stone. nihilism is uncreative. it already sets itself up for failure, because for us, humans, there is no safer thing than predictability - even if it means you'll fail and all is doomed. at least, it seems safe.

but goodness, hope, self-love and courage take imagination and bravery. they demand us to create new patterns, new stories, new solutions. it is often easier to be evil and to hate ourselves. you can think of a million ways to harm yourself or others, but it takes strength and creativity to build connections and foster hope.

and i found that creativity, that hope and optimism are powerful antidotes. trying again and again. when the headlines tell you thousands of people are ded by the hands of a zionist state or an epidemic threatens to kill us all, we don't stay passive. we have to be brave enough to ask - what if there is more than this terror, what if there is more than this guilt? what if i can do something about it?

what if you deserve more than this terror, too? what if we all do? what if you do deserve love and good things, just like any other human being? and what if those things are actually possible and real?

[moonlit-positivity]

You are not obligated to forgive your abusers. You are not obligated to forgive anyone who hurts you, regardless of if they've changed their ways or even if they're struggling and in need of help. You are not required to honor anyone else except you, your feelings are more important. Please do not ever feel guilty for saying no and setting boundaries.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #abuse #abuse recovery #abuse awareness #toxicity #toxic friendships #toxic parents #abusive relationships #actually abused #actually traumatized #forgiveness

[moonlit-positivity]

Trying to learn that it’s not my responsibility to create or maintain harmony in the lives of those I care about. They are allowed to have difficulties in their lives and struggles in their relationships with others and it’s not something that I need to ‘fix.’ I am not responsible for their happiness or peace. Their struggles do not make me a failure. All I can control is how I interact with them.

[moonlit-positivity]

Just in case you don’t get to hear it from your parents or family in general…
You’re doing a great job. I am so proud of you. I believe you can achieve your dreams. You’re going to be okay. Making mistakes is okay. You are important. And you are deserving of love and happiness.

[moonlit-positivity]

In case you forgot, social media isn’t real. Theres no need to compare yourself to internet personas, pixels, and false realities. Your life is valuable beyond a screen. Make choices that bring you happiness and peace. Log out. Go feel the sun.

[moonlit-positivity]

[moonlit-positivity]

losing people will not ruin your life forever. some people aren’t meant to stay.

[moonlit-positivity]

Every day is another chance to seek love and joy! Know that if you didn't find it today you still can tomorrow, and there will always be another tomorrow.