#abuse recovery

[thelatestkate]

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#mental health #recovery #reminder #abuse recovery

[neuroticboyfriend]

get in bitches, we're surviving rock bottom no matter how much further we dig. one day we'll put down the shovel and climb out of this for good. we have to. as long as we're still alive there is hope.

#softspoonie #mental health #mentally ill #hopepunk #recovery #addiction recovery #abuse recovery #recovering alcoholic #trauma recovery #cptsd recovery #mental health recovery #ptsd recovery #recovering addict #addiction #trauma #survivor #trauma survivor #mental health support #hope #madpunk #positivity #serious mental illness #severe mental illness #ptsd #cptsd #depression #actually traumatized #severe depression #self care #self love

[desultory-suggestions]

You are not defined by what happened to you

#recovery #suggestions #suggestion blog #healing suggestions #csa recovery #abuse recovery #dv recovery #text #mental health #ed recovery #self care #self love

[unwelcome-ozian]

#abuse recovery #trauma recovery #support #belonging #you matter

[furiousgoldfish]

One of the issues you run into when you're not allowed to express anger as a child, is that you're no longer able to get angry. When you're in a situation that should evoke rage, you instead feel fear, anxiety, panic, or grief, emotional hurt and helplessness. You end up operating a body that cannot feel or express anger. The only times you do feel angry is when you're directing it at yourself, it comes as a form of self hatred, and desire to cause pain and injury to yourself. Because this is the only way you would have been allowed to be angry, only way it was safe, to direct it at yourself, same as everyone else is doing constantly, teaching you that it's normal and expected.

Growing up like this means that all of the anger from your childhood keeps getting stored into your body instead of externalized, and you still cannot get angry when the situation demands it. Instead, when you're being disrespected and injustice is served in your face, you can either feel helpless and lost, or the frustration you feel irritates you so much you cannot stand it. Your body is not used to feeling anger and doesn't know how to process it. Instead it feels like you're going to explode, restless, endlessly irritated and at a complete loss on how to handle it. Because you never learned how to handle anger, except to take it out on yourself, and you might be driven to just keep doing that, forever.

Taking a stand for yourself and confronting whoever deserved your anger might still feel terrifying and all of the insane things that happened to you as a result of childhood anger might get triggered. You might feel too frightened to confront them because you can imagine all sorts of ways it could come back to hurt you - this person could try to get you fired, for example. They might smear campaign you and get you evicted, they could threaten you with something or blackmail you, they could destroy something of yours, spread rumors, hold a grudge and do thousand times worse to you. Those are thoughts evoked by memories of childhood, where abusive parents threatened and did any or all of these things, including torture, in order to keep you from expressing anger.

However this person is hurting you right now, unprovoked, and getting no resistance. From that, they're learning that they can keep doing it, with zero consequences, because you've already been broken and cannot fight back. That is a dangerous situation to be in too, even if it is impossible to predict whether this person is insane like your parents and will try to get revenge for any bit of resistance for their abuse.

I had situations where I would be pushed over the edge and allowed my anger to come out at someone - and people would sometimes complain about it, but they would usually back off, and I would regain my peace of mind because I created a consequence for disturbing it. Anger, however, doesn't feel good. My body is not used to it so it makes me incredibly tense, stressed, frustrated and upset, and it doesn't go away for several days, even weeks sometimes. Because scratching the surface of it evokes the repressed childhood anger which is almost unbearable with how giant it is.

Human body can learn to process anger, it can feel better, more powerful and more in control because of it. It can protect you without inflicting damage to others. It doesn't make you anything like your abusers, who let their anger out at someone who wasn't their equal, had no way to fight back, and did not deserve any of it. Your anger creates boundaries that keep you safe, it doesn't exist to torture others for existing.

It's easy to fall back into the place where you don't want to be angry, and try to be accommodating and allowing of injustice, just so you don't have to feel frustrated and afraid. I often fall back on it too, just wanting to live and have peace. But life around other people often doesn't allow it, and sometimes anger is necessary to send a message of what boundaries will not be crossed without a consequence. Anger is not a bad feeling, it is an act of self love. It comes out to let you know that you've been treated unfairly and it's there because it's telling you that you matter. That treating you unfairly is something to get mad about.

#anger #rage #anger issues #cptsd #abused child #abuse symptoms #trauma symptoms #repressed anger #processing anger #anger builds boundaries #ptsd #traumatic anger #internalized anger #anger directed at self #not being allowed to bring angry creates self hatred #self love #abuse recovery #trauma recovery

[nothing0fnothing]

hey I have some lived experience personal care advice I had to learn the hard way in my adulthood after growing up with abusive neglectful narcissistic parents. Maybe it will help someone else.

The most important room in your house to be clean is your kitchen. If you only have a few spoons and a whole house of mess, spend them on getting your kitchen clean, hygienic and tidy enough to be usable.

spending money on things that last longer or work better isn't a waste of money. You don't have to use the cheapest of everything because spending is bad work out what YOU think is worth splurging on.

Always buy the best shoes you can afford. Taking care of your feet is so important for your health. If you're afab the same goes for underwear, buying one pack of good quality, good fitting cotton breathable underwear will save you so much money on feminine care supplies if you get what I'm saying.

Get your feet measured in a shoe store. Especially if you're over 25 your feet will have grown since you were 18. I spent years thinking my body was wrong because my feet ALWAYS hurt. My girlfriend suggested we measure them and I realised I was in shoes two sizes too small. For years!! I didn't even know shoes were supposed to have space in them.

a cheap bottle of washing up liquid (dish soap) costs like £1 and can be used on basically every surface. Clean your counters, toilet, sinks, bathtub or shower, oven and hob with a scrub daddy and some cheap washing up liquid. It doesn't react with other chemicals and it cleans deeply and easily. I even use it on the inside of the shower glass where it collects that crusty water residue.

When bathing with an unscented bar soap everywhere first. Then wash a second time with your scented soap. The scented liquid soap isn't designed to clean you it's designed to make you smell beautiful.

Don't use scented soaps on your kitty. Don't use femfresh or other feminine washes on your kitty. Don't use feminine wipes on your kitty. You use your unscented bar soap you use on the rest of your bodh on your kitty once a day. That's all it needs.

You don't need sewing skills to mend things. A £5 sewing kit you keep somewhere in your house and maybe a 2 minute YouTube tutorial is all you need to fix holes in your clothes and make them last longer.

Cereal for breakfast is quick and convenient but aim to eat protein for your first meal. Things like eggs, meat, a protein shake, Greek yogurt. You'll feel fuller for longer and your body will appreciate it.

most things don't need to be ironed. For the things that need creases out a steamer is better for the fibres and easier to use. Simply hang up the item and hold the steamer against the creases.

#cptsd recovery #abuse recovery #trauma recovery #recovery #ptsd recovery #mental wellbeing #mental wellness #dysfunctional household #self care tips #self compassion #self healing #personal growth #self acceptance #mental health #emotional health #therapy

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

here’s a friendly reminder for survivors of any sort of abuse that

It wasnt your fault

You are strong

You didnt ask for it

No one gets to invalidate your experience

If someone invalidates your experience, you get to dump their ass

#i suffered through a friend abusing me #physically emotionally and mentally. These reminders save me everyday #childhood trauma #trauma #emotional abuse #parental abuse #sa survivor #abuse survivor #abuse recovery #child abuse #tw abuse

[punkstylerecovery]

Sometimes I forget, with all the big issues in my life, that the little issues make a big difference too. I get so distracted and overwhelmed because usually, I can't do anything about the big issues. But one of the reasons I'm so overwhelmed is usually because I also have to deal with all those little issues and I'm fighting to ignore that discomfort.

But when I focus more on making a difference with the little things, I feel like I'm much more in focus and living my life despite it all. Those little things pile up and even if it seems like such a small thing to change/address/ect, it's still me trying to change things in my life for the better and reminding myself there ARE things I can fix.

So for the rest of y'all, if you're feeling overwhelmed or stuck on an issue you can't seem to fix, try to eliminate or work on some of the smaller problems you deal with.

Clear your plate a little. Maybe you're just giving yourself a little more room to breathe, maybe you're doing that and giving yourself a new perspective on it all. Just like little joys matter, little annoyances do too; be aware of them.

#punkstyle #trauma recovery #abuse recovery #ok to reblog #thinking about how #i cant move out of my 'parents' house #i may never be able to leave #but i can make it more comfortable #i can make it easier #i can make it a little less exhausting #n a little less overwhelming #yknow? #just like even if i can't find BIG happiness sometimes #i can lean into little joys #like reading certain stories #or wearing some eyeliner #watching something i love

[one-abuse-survivor]

Abusers have human sides to them too.

When abuse, whether real or fictional, is talked about in media, one of two things usually happens. The abuser is either completely dehumanised and painted as an evil caricature, or given a tragic backstory that makes the victim feel so sorry for their abuser they end up forgiving them.

And I think this is part of why it can be so hard to believe we ourselves are going through abuse. Because when it's you going through it, you see the human side of your abuser too. You see them cry, and laugh, and overcome adversity, and be vulnerable, and feel scared and small. You see them struggle and you see them genuinely try to spend quality time with you, and you see them show the ways they love you. Sometimes, you can even see that they mean it when they say they love you.

And because we've been taught that "actual" abusers are all bad, heartless, merciless, and lacking in humanity, and everyone else is just a suffering person who hurt others because they were hurting inside, we think what we're going through can't possibly be abuse. We think we're exaggerating, or being weak, or selfish. We punish ourselves for not being more understanding of what they're going through. We convince ourselves we're making it all up and we're the monsters in our own story.

But we're not. We're just not used to acknowledging that abusers are human, and that their humanity does not negate their abuse.

If you've ever questioned your abuse because your abuser was struggling, or genuinely loved you, or was trying their best, or expressed conflicting emotions, or was abused themselves, this post is for you. I believe you. I believe what happened to you was abuse. Their circumstances did not justify their actions.

I believe you, and you are not alone.

#Abuse #Abuse tw #Abuse survivor #Abuse victim #abusive relationship #Abusive parents #Abusive family #Abusive partner #Abuse recovery #I know media does get it right many times #But not enough of them (in my personal opinion) considering how *wired* abuse victims are to believe they're not actually being abused #And if I see one more story where the victim is basically forced to empathise with their abuser and forgive and help them I WILL SCREAM

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Repeat after me:

I am worthy just as I am.

#mental health #positivity #recovery #healing #self love #self compassion #ptsd recovery #cptsd recovery #trauma recovery #abuse recovery #positive affirmation #our post #q

[thelatestkate]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

#mental health #reminder #abuse recovery #self care #self acceptance

[neuroticboyfriend]

if someone is regularly cruel to you, that's not okay at all. it doesn't matter if they do good things sometimes. they're hurting you, repeatedly. they probably aren't even giving you genuine apologies, right? at best, they just keep trying to justify their actions and wrap it up in pretty language and confident tone, don't they? does that sound like love and care to you? does that sound like anything other than self preservation and an attempt to keep control over you, so they can keep abusing/neglecting you without consequence?

that's not love. that's never been love. you deserve infinitely better, and i hope someday the both of us fully understand what it means to be safe and loved, as a mundane part of life. because that's how it should be. this is not all there is.

#softspoonie #messages to myself #abuse survival #abuse survivor #abuse victim #abusive relationship #abuse recovery #trauma #gaslighting #neglect #trauma survivor #trauma survival #trauma victim #love #mental health #mental health support #survivor #abuse

[desultory-suggestions]

Just a little reminder for you today. You are loved. I know you are trying your best, and I promise you that it is enough. Any mistakes you made today will pass, give yourself the kindness of admitting that you are just a person and people make mistakes. Take a deep breathe in, and let it out. You can do this hard thing.

#des posts #recovery #suggestions #positivity #self love #mental health #ed recovery #self care #love #anxiety #depression #GAD #generalized anxiety disorder #mdd #ocd #pics #trauma #trauma recovery #healing #abuse recovery #panic attacks

[unwelcome-ozian]

#healing #abuse recovery #trauma recovery

[furiousgoldfish]

People will always tell trauma victims to 'work on themselves' but what really needs to be worked on is:

being extremely protected and safe from abuse

judging people more

getting angry at people more

holding people accountable when they do inconsiderate shit to us

being more suspicious of other's intentions

putting ourselves at the same level at others and not idolizing or inftantilizing people we care about

no longer making excuses for people who are doing shit that hurts us

having someone to advocate for us when we're triggered and unable to do shit about about it

giving ourselves a fucking break

experiencing gentleness and human contact to the measure that we're no longer starving for breadcumbs

having more control over our life

doing whatever we want without any guilt or shame

having actual leverage over people who are ready to blackmail us

getting people to back the fuck off

getting people to stop telling us what to do

being aware that our life and choices are none of anyone's business and stop taking ignorant and stupid inputs

telling people off

no longer worrying about everyone else's comfort in a situation where nobody would even think of ours

no longer feeling guilty for being tired, traumatized, hurt and pessimistic

being ready to fight anyone who makes us feel like shit

stop imagining that us feeling like shit is just 'normal' or 'necessary' because no sane person would accept this

hating our abusers with our entire guts and blaming them for every second of what they did to us

#self care #abuse recovery #gaining freedom of feelings #trauma recovery #psychological recovery

[zbrewer]

Could Use a Lil Help...

An important update on me, Minions. I've been going through some stuff for a long time and could use some help. If you can donate, great, but sharing on other platforms is equally as helpful. Love you all so much.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/zs-journey-to-reclaim-freedom?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_lico%20share-sheet-first-launch

#abuse #abuse recovery #gofundme #fundraiser #donations #donate if you can #please help #kidlit #writers