I dislike how media’s portrayal of aspd has made me question if I have the disorder because I’m not living up to this weird standard based on stereotypes. Tbh I think it’s absolutely ridiculous.

Attempting to start up an ASPD confession blog. Boost

they know. it’s only a matter of time before everyone else does. they know i’m a liar. they know i’m a fake. they know i’m an abuser. they know i’m not who i say i am. i lost their trust and fake love today and now things will never be the same. there was only one thing i ever feared and it was that this day would come. the bars around me just got thicker and harder and so will everyone’s stares. i’ll get to hear the ‘told you so’s’ from the toxic liars around me whose fabrications finally became true. i thought i was looked down on before but the real fun is just beginning.

im gonna cry if I don't get adored I want it now

I know people with Autism can have empathy issues, and people with ASPD have low to no empathy. But do you know if they present differently? /gen

Thanks for the question, as you can tell I have been slow to reply to this one because... well, because I’m kinda stumped in how to answer this.

Yes, they do present differently, from what I know, but what I know is purely from what I have read and what friends have told me. I really don’t know enough to draw a definitive comparison. Obviously, as a spectrum disorder, it varies, and I’m unwilling to potentially insult someone by pushing my very limited knowledge as fact.

There is some overlap between ASPD and autism, from what I have read and understand. Autism spectrum disorders and antisocial personality disorder experience reduced levels of empathy. An article I read, which I’ll link you to, says that ASPD struggles with emotional empathy, so the ability to feel another’s feelings, whereas autism experiences problems with their cognitive empathy, so their ability to take another’s perspective. 

So for example, if a friend is sad because her boyfriend dumped her, I can completely understand that this is why she is sad. There is a direct link, a cause for her current emotional state. However, I feel absolutely nothing in regard to her pain. I am totally unable to feel sad with or for her, I only understand why she is sad. 

I am wary about offering an example for empathy in autism disorders, but I believe that the cause and effect is not as prevalent. I very well may be wrong here. A different article I just read claims that that cognitive empathy in autism is largely being unable to recognise or name emotions based on facial expressions. The article said “Eye scan studies found people with autism tend to look at the periphery of a face rather than pay attention to the eyes and mouth, where emotions are typically displayed.” (They might not be scholarly so, again, could be wrong).

It then goes on to say, “However, while cognitive empathy can be lower in people with autism, affective empathy—which is based on instincts and involuntary responses to the emotions of others—can be strong and overwhelming. In fact, newer research suggests that some people with autism may actually feel other people's emotions more intensely.”

So, I hope this helps somewhat. I cannot draw definitive comparisons given that I can only speak from one side. 

Articles available at: 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16958304/

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02965/full

you’re probably just autistic

Wow maybe you’re right. I’ll hit up my psychiatrist and tell her that she was wrong because a Tumblr anon said so

Online community service ideas??

I had one lined up, but they’re taking too long to get back to me on my application now and I am desperate 🥺🥺

No it wasn’t tough love, it was abuse you fucking cunt

Not mine, but a great photo.

Add wine to my water bottle.

But will I ever though? Constantly just stuck in a weird limbo.

Never able to fully commit or be passionate about something. Always this strange feeling in your chest that you can’t pin point exactly. Yet always watching from the outside.

I got used to only taking care of myself.

Only learning to protect myself.

People around me: *exist*

Me: you are not terribly important to me

Y'all I cannot with this bitch I call my boyfriend (or sometimes my fiancé if he's not pissing me off) he seriously just told me how he would never judge me for my aspd and how it doesn't bother him then starts going off at me over nothing immediately after I finally get the urge to actually talk to him about the symptoms that have been flaring.

But tell me again why I should bother with people because I fail to see the fucking purpose at this point tbh.

Day 23

One thing with ASPD that deserves more attention is our terrible impulse control issues. This is due to how our brains are structured. Short-term actions release endorphins, and our brains over-emphasise the importance of endorphins. I think this is due to how prone to boredom we are.

This can result in us engaging in reckless or dangerous behaviour. Not always, though. These issues can, and do, manifest in other ways in our lives. Spending money on things we don’t need (which is something a lot of my friends with ASPD also experience) is a big one. I definitely struggle with my spending habits. It’s not that I can’t think long term, it’s just that spending money in the here and now feels good, even when it’s something I don’t need. For some with aspd, this could manifest in short term relationships. I’ve definitely gone for people that I shouldn’t have for that exact reason. Bosses, colleagues, friends, anything that’ll cause a level of interest that’ll keep me from being bored for some time.

It can be difficult for people with aspd to manage impulse control issues. In the moment there’s a complete need to do this thing that’ll release all these good feelings. Even if they’re so short lived, they can be pleasantly distracting. I know a lot of people with ASPD try hard to manage their impulse control issues in order to better their lives and this needs more attention because it’s actually really difficult.

I just got into a groupchat and a random dude really went "mentally ill people are crazy and psychopaths don't care about helping themselves, hence they should just be locked up to prevent harm to others"... I already know how I'm gonna spend the rest of the day lmao

update: he ended up apologizing to the gc because we misunderstood his point?? man you're basing your theories off of freud and don't even know what "neurotypical" means, why do you think you're qualified to explain my own disorder to me?

I wish I could actually post more about my ASPD online but this culture online of “people with ASPD are actually good people you guys are just ableist” stops me. I don’t want to be accused of being a bad stereotype on my vent blog