how i try to prevent myself from splitting
hi there! another advice post <3
i'm borderline, so things are super intense for me when this happens, but if you feel a similar way, this may help!
"splitting" means being unable to decide whether a person is good or bad, and usually leads to either thinking the person is completely good or (more often) completely bad. over the years, i've gotten better at noticing the signs, and have been able to hold long-term friendships with non-toxic people!
here are my tips ->
when someone does something you dislike, talk to them. it may seem scary, but often, you're overthinking
constantly remind yourself that it's okay to not like everything about someone. you don't even like everything about yourself.
try spending tome away from that person in the early stages, and come back when you're ready. i call this a "partial split"
try to have a lot of friends. this way, if one doesn't respond to your text, it's okay because you have a lot more. this helps me reduce the stress of over-analyzing a single person's behavior
if you have a therapist, talk to them about it. it's not a silly issue, trust me. a second perspective can be helpful
take a deep breath, paint, watch some youtube, or anything else to help you relax. splitting is often a byproduct of strong emotion
stay quiet instead of talking. this one can often be difficult, but stay at home or avoid your friends for a few days if you need to. it's possible that you're socially burnt out
friendships are crazy and often difficult to navigate, but it's important to take care of yourself and train yourself to have a healthy friendship style. these tips don't work all the time, and i've learned to accept the mistakes, but that doesn't stop me from trying to be better.
take care <3
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cute bpd things!!
paranoia
*small inconvenience* BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP
yeah im fine lol look at this meme :D
paranoia
mood depending on them
every text hurts or feels way too good
intrusive thought yeouch okay ouch thats another one yeOOUCH
the 50000+ articles on how youre abusive
paranoia
fp is bad for me but its ok i love them<3
"if i hurt someone its gonna be myself"
becoming completely obsessed with someone the moment they give you the slightest attention
never being able to cut anyone off ever. immediately go running back
cry because theyre talking to someone that IS NOT ME
oh my fp isnt here. okay. oh im dissociating okay i dont have any purpose to continue living without them okay my life literally revolves around them i want to die where are they are they safe i dont know what to do with myself
"just leave. everyone does anyways"
5 minutes later theyre the worst person ever
*looking for an identity* hmmm, where could it be?
dependent on fp like theyre a parental figure you never had
paranoia
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It hurts how little I mean to someone I hold so highly. Why doesn't he love me too? What do I have to do for him to love me, why does this hurt so bad. Why is it so painful.?
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thinking you're being overdramatic and paranoid over nothing only to be proven completely right is such a sickening feeling.
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when i’m hurt, i shut down, i turn into a total bitch i shut off my emotions i act differently towards everything and everyone and i hate it
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