#childhood trauma and bipolar disorder | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

l0sing-mymind · 11 months

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i wish the things that happened to me never happened

6/12/23

#bpd vent #actually bpd #vent #bpd problems #ventcore #venting #bipolar disorder #actually traumatized #trauma survivor #trauma #childhood trauma

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 4 months

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Having survived abuse from people with mental illnesses, I know the urge to warn others to be wary of those mental illnesses. I know how often it can feel like that is your only power in life…the only action you can take against what you went through. But listen. Just because a mentally ill person caused you complex trauma, doesn’t mean you get to generalize and slander and malign every person with that mental illness.

You do not have to forgive your abusers. but you do have to heal without spreading stigma and misinformation. you do have to heal without antagonizing or dehumanizing others who are also just trying to heal. you have to help break the cycle. because nobody can heal alone.

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slivincptsd · 1 year

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melangedmess · 2 years

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i would literally do anything to not feel this way anymore

#im exhausted and done please give me a break #childhood trauma #actually traumatized #actually mentally ill #bpd #complex ptsd #bipolar disorder #executive dysfunction #maladaptive daydreaming #idk what is going onn

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bipolarmango · 2 years

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It's funny how much you judge and overlook people who abuse substances until you're one of them. Only then you'll understand.

#tw drugs #tw alcohol #tw substance abuse #actually mentally ill #actually bipolar #mental disorder #bipolar disorder #bipolar things #childhood ptsd #ptsd #ptsd problems #living with ptsd #complex ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #complex post traumatic stress disorder #trauma #panic disorder

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brokenfoxproductions · 8 months

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Probably the first bit of discourse that I'm going to post on here intentionally, but as someone who used to self identify as having did before I got a proper diagnosis, I really just wish people had the nuance to understand that you can assume that you might be dealing with something, but you are not capable of diagnosing yourself with a complex dissociative disorder the same way someone who is gone through 12 years of med school and a psychiatric rotation would be able to, and it really really bothers me seeing people trying really hard to push themselves into acting how they think someone with DID would actually act while ignoring that they have very textbook symptoms of things like a personality disorder or complex PTSD or even other dissociative and delusional disorders that simply are not DID.

I'm not saying that self diagnosis is always invalid, especially for things like autism where the majority of providers don't know the updated criteria for diagnosis and it's something that tends to not really go away or change, but there's a big difference between my partner who hasn't gotten into a psychiatrist self-identifying as autistic because it allows him to get the things that he needs to be able to function and someone who has access to psychiatrist but refuses to go to one or who does see a psychiatrist but refuses to believe them purposely trying to push a narrative so that they get attention online from a specific community.

I did that as a teenager. I used to and still do dissociate very frequently and whenever I was a teenager I thought that everyone with dissociations had dissociative identity disorder so I started making up alters like the way a lot of teenagers on tiktok and on here do, but unlike most of those teenagers, I was actually in psychiatric treatment and acting out this way didn't get me temporary Fame. It got me hospitalized, forced into a RTF where I was horrifically abused for a year, and then it caused me to go to foster care. It also caused years of not getting proper treatment because you can't get treated for what's actually going on with you while you're obsessed with a diagnosis that you don't have.

Self diagnosis and lying about my experiences and condition as a teenager cost me 2 years and 5 months of my life. People who are still doing this and encouraging it are feeding into ableism and they're making their situations worse.

If you want to diagnosis yourself with a debilitating mental health condition, eventually you're going to be treated like you have it. And I don't mean attention and Tik-Tok followers. I mean like, not being able to drive. Not being independent. Long term inpatient stays. Residential treatment facilities. Medication. Therapies. Debt. Facing ableism. Actual diagnosed disabled people seeing you as mocking them. Facing hate crimes. Having your life ruined and your rights taken.

Maybe you should consider just getting a real diagnosis instead. It's easier than leaving your actual condition undiagnosed and untreated so you can get the attention you think is trendy without trying to get better.

(And inb4 "waaaahhhhh not everyone can access services!!!1!!!" If you're not working and can't get workplace insurance, go to your local assistance office and apply for medical assistance, and then call the number on your insurance card to get on a wait list for a provider. If my broke, crippled ass can manage that, so can you. If you can't, get a caseworker to manage it for you. Google "mental health case manager" and find who's closest, they're county funded and their job is to help you get services. There's no excuse for being a burden on the system, those around you, and people with actual diagnosed disabilities.)

#anti self dx #anti self diagnosis #nuance #self diagnosis #actually disabled #discourse #to clarify #i understand self dx for autism but not psych disorders #you're not a psychiatrist and your POV is skewed by your symptoms and culture #trauma #childhood trauma #ptsd #ableism #actually traumatized #actually ptsd #actually bipolar #actually mentally ill #actually autistic #fox bites sometimes

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messymotherfcker · 2 months

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I’m slowly killing myself and I don’t care

#me #actuallybipolar #mental illness #dissociation #bipolar disorder #trauma #emotional abuse #childhood abuse #addiction #suicide #suicidal #depression #mixed episode #c ptsd #complex ptsd

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bloodbathbaby666 · 10 months

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everything hurts so much!

#sadcore #derealization #ventcore #traumacore #webcore #coping #depresssion #mentally drained #childhood ptsd #bipolar disorder #intrusive thoughts #anxiety #trauma vent art #trauma edit

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fuckingwhateverdude · 2 years

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10.21.22

#drunk obviously #watching the toni morrison documentary thinking things #my writing #my writing tag #poetry #prose #alcohol #substance abuse #alcohol abuse #alcohol tw #childhood trauma #original prose #spilled ink #bipolar disorder #mental illness

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its3-15am · 1 year

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When he yells at me it's like I forget how to breathe. Suddenly I'm 11 years old again and I'm in my father's house. He's screaming and I'm wailing in tears for him to just stop. Some say the trauma aches in your bones but I believe it always grows from your lungs. A man raises his voice and suddenly you're 10ft under the water and your lungs are giving in. I never knew what it was like not to live with the damage No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I did. -This trauma aches through my bones for the rest of my life; suddenly a man raises his voice and I'm laying on my kitchen floor again. My father's voice echoing through my head. shutup. shutup. shutup

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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I'm starting to feel like bpd is actually just what happens when there's an overlap between adhd, ptsd, and depression- which I think is much more common than physciatrists think

I have a lot of theories but also like I need to do way more research on this before assuming things because I know this is already a greatly stigmatized disorder and I don't want to erase anyone's experiences or make it worse.

#i have adhd ptsd and depression myself #and im not sure if physciatrists are misunderstanding (ima be honest ive lost a lot of my faith in them for stuff like this) again #or if its just a coincidental overlap in the presentation of the conditions #it would honestly make a lot of sense to me though #a lot of physciatrists and therapists agree that bpd is a trauma disorder #it almost feels like what happens if you recieve the trauma that would cause DID (i have DID as well) but #but either at an older age or without the necessary capacity for dissociation required #the reason i say adhd is because the link between adhd and depression seems heavily overlooked #not to mention the effects of adhd in adulthood #given that bpd is a trauma disorder im guessing a lot of people with the condition were neglected by their parents to some degree #not necessarily all but enough that adhd symptoms in childhood would go undiagnosed #and once youre an adult its much harder to get a diagnosis #youre more likely to be diagnosed with things like depression and bipolar disorder #because its gone on so long that its sort of metastasized into more har.#*more harmful conditions #i could be totally wrong about the adhd thing #i just think that its unacceptable how ineffective the treatments are for it #feel free to tell me about your experiences with the condition if you have bpd #that includes self diagnosed people too btw. anyone with bpd #i know a lot of people who suffer needlessly because doctors are incompetent so im just really passionate about this

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exodusx · 8 months

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It's scary that if you think that I can't remember when I stopped being happy.

#sad quotes #sad #grunge #i don't want to live in this way anymore #not happy #unhappy #actually mentally ill #tw depressive #anxitey #childhood trauma #healing is hard #depressed #cw depressive thoughts #self destruction #self-harm #self-harm scars #unloved #bipolar disorder

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joleravioli-blog · 1 month

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"Clinicians and researchers who deal with people with histories of chronic trauma are routinely confronted with fight, flight, ore freeze reactions. Our patients (and occasionally colleagues) easily take offense, and they often disorganize their (and our) lives by becoming too angry, too ashamed, and too frozen. Minor irritations easily turn into catastrophes; small failures of communication are difficult to gloss over and easily turn into dramatic interpersonal conflicts...human kindness...often fails to have a significant impact on the despair, rage, and terror of people with histories of trauma and abandonment.... Gradually we came to understand that the most severe dysregulation occurred in people who, as children, lacked a consistent caregiver. Emotional abuse, loss of caregivers, inconsistency, and chronic misattunement showed up as the principal contributions to a large variety of psychiatric problems (Dozier, Stovall, & Albus, 1999; Pianta, Egeland, & Adam, 1996). One of the most important discoveries in psychology, neuroscience, and psychiatry has been that failure in establishing secure early attachment bonds leads to a diminished capacity to regulate negative emotions.... Sadly, deficient affect regulation caused by early adverse experiences is compounded by the resulting off-putting behaviors in the face of stress, such as temper tantrums and emotional withdrawal (Shaver & Mikulincer, 2002). Dysregulated behavior alienates potential friends and partners and interferes with being able to garner support and accumulate restorative experiences. Lack of affect regulation thus runs the danger of becoming a vicious circle, where deficient self-control leads to abandonment, which in turn makes it even more difficult to regulate the negative mood states." from The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation by Stephen W. Porges, Foreward by Bessel A van Der Kolk

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slivincptsd · 1 year

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melangedmess · 2 years

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i was just a vessel to my parents to fill up with their anger, guilt, trauma. i was just a vessel for every person i ever met, to dump their lies, mistakes, needs in it. nobody ever bothered to check, nobody waited. i was never a person to anyone

#childhood trauma #actually mentally ill #actually traumatized #bpd #i feel so used and alone lol #complex ptsd #bipolar disorder #executive dysfunction #maladaptive daydreaming #cluster b

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upsanddowns98 · 2 months

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"But what else can I do? Nothing else to lose; you can scream in anger, I know it won't make it all better, But what else can I do?"

- Faouzia "100 Bandaids"

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