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m-c-easton · 11 months

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Book Picks: The Love Songs of W. E. B. Du Bois

**Triggering Content (child abuse) Longlisted for the 2021 National Book Award (yes, people, I’m still catching up on early pandemic booklists), Honorée Fanonne Jeffers’ novel The Love Songs of W. E. B. Du Bois has given us an immensely rich novel, one that hooked me with the depth and drama of a Black family spanning the history of America. The structure is complex, opening most of the eleven…

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becomingvecna · 4 months

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#my writing

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lostmf · 25 days

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mysterieuxclairdelune · 1 year

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{Katie Maria/ Gregory Orr/ Li-Young-Lee, A Hymn to Childhood/ Liv Ullman, Changing/ Broken Veil/ Louise Glück, Unpainted Doors/ Anne Carson/ m.h.w, yuki, age thirteen/ Killing Eve/ unknown/ Ekta R. Garg/ Beau Taplin}

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verademialove · 5 months

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“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)

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thoughtsfromthecorneroftheroom · 1 month

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No, I'm not ok. But I haven't been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. I'm still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.

#clementine von radics #motivation #quotes #poetry #literature #relationship quotes #writing #original #words #love #relationship #childhood #child abuse #trauma

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sulasnsleep · 8 months

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“As adults, we try to develop the character traits that would have rescued our parents.”

— Alain de Botton

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abybweisse · 6 months

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With how certain parts in the story play out or are portrayed, do you think Yana exploits or down plays O!Ciel’s trauma sometimes? For example, during Noah’s circus arc, that panic attack he has is caused when he was exposed to Kelvin’s doings which triggered his trauma. Yet at the same time, actions like Ran Mao hugging O!Ciel and pushing him into her chest makes him flustered. The interaction doesn’t make him panic in the same way even though he suffered at the hands of both men and women in the cult. I can mostly chalk it up to Yana putting in fan service in when it comes to how he is framed in certain instances or in situations like the corset scene, but overall, is his trauma only there when the plot needs it?

Our earl's trauma on display

I'd say the trauma is there all the time. It's just that much of the time he can somewhat control how he reacts. He regularly suppresses his emotions, anyway, because it's the only way he can move forward on his goals. Consider this part of his act, pretending to be the "better" older twin. He knows real Ciel went through the same ordeals, but he probably assumes his older brother would have faced each new day with all the strength he could muster... if he had survived instead. It's probably on his mind more often than we actually witness, but since he's not the main, title character, we don't see his thoughts as often.

If he were constantly displaying the effects of the severe trauma, he'd pull a revolver on Sebastian when he's called upon to wake up each day. He'd be jumping out of his skin to run away whenever a creep like Druitt showed up. Or crouching down to go into the fetal position and scream. That sort of thing. He'd be too much of a mess to let the plot progress. He wouldn't be able to function very well. Basically, he'd be like he was during the witch arc, until Sebastian was 90% serious about devouring his soul then and there.

Honestly, the series would be hard(er) to read, if we were constantly getting the full brunt of the effect those traumatic events have on him. As a victim of childhood abuse myself, with the repetitive intrusive thoughts and flashbacks I already have regarding those long-past experiences, reading and seeing illustrations of similar ongoing suffering would be somewhat detrimental... possibly. What I experienced wasn't as terrifying or horrific as what happens to him and his twin (though the abuse lasted way longer for me), and I don't have any real triggers. Regardless of what happened to me, I do my best to carry on with the day-to-day, even on days I'm thinking about it more than usual. Whatever PTSD I might have isn't nearly as severe as it could be. A series written that way -- our earl constantly showing us how he suffers from trauma -- would be downright unreadable for a lot of people. Some find it too emotionally difficult, as is, and dropped the series.

I expect that what he mentally goes through, after the abuses, is pretty much the same thing all day, every day. It's repetitive, pestering him, and he has to brush away thoughts about it. He does the best he can to hold himself together. He tries to focus on revenge. On Funtom. On his duties as watchdog. Whatever... to think about something other than that timeframe and those memories. What's shown to us (of the trauma) are the times when it's just too much for him to maintain that composure... as well as what caused the trauma in the first place. I'd say that is quite enough to get the point across.

It's sad that a lot of those scenes are given fan service treatment. Sad mostly because it means there's still a large chunk of the fandom that practically demands it. I'd prefer a lack of glamor and sexualization in those moments. I know a lot of fans would agree with me. But she can't please everyone all the time. And what sells, sells.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #our earl #tw: csa #tw: child abuse #ptsd #living with ptsd #ptsd in literature #coping #coping abilities #portrayal of ptsd #childhood trauma #portrayal of trauma #anon asks #i answer #answered asks #nov 14 2023 #sorry for the delay

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helioptilie · 4 months

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very interested in some of the talk around the new pjo episodes

‘censoring a story to align with a predetermined family friendly model is not only a disservice to the original work but to the audience it claims to protect. allowing children to engage with difficult content in fiction can help them to process difficult experiences in their own lives.’

and

‘reading about something and seeing it happen have a different impact, things that are appropriate for a book could be triggering when depicted on screen. it is important for production to consider their young target audience and the well-being of their child actors when adapting sensitive content for the show’

are not contradictory statements and we should discuss

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #there is obviously a much larger discussion to be had around censorship and children’s media #but i find pjo very interesting bc i am looking at it as an adult trying to remember how i experienced it as a child #and the only complaints I’m really seeing are about the depictions of Gabe’s abuse and the claiming scene being ‘watered down’#and idk i would think that the successful children’s book author who taught middle school for years and wrote the book for his kid #has a better grasp on what’s appropriate for kids than i (20s. childless. no background in education or literature) do #so i have been trying to remember what it was like to read these books when i was 10 #and would it have been different if it was a show?#or are these intentional decisions to please the mouse?

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graywensdays · 3 months

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I would rather be six foot under than six foot near you.

#child abuse #sa victim #literature #spilled thoughts #i want to disappear #tw depressing thoughts #anger #book quotes

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knucklestheechidna7777777 · 1 month

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i'm all for trans headcanons, but i feel like thinking natsuki is a trans girl because she's super flat for a girl is really,,,, not good, because there's an actual canon reason for that and her growth stunt in general, and it's because she's literally malnourished by her dad. also with how abusive her dad is, do you think she'd be able to look the way she does at all if she was trans. he'd beat her over her having MANGA in her room

i'm pretty sure even dan salvato commented on the meme "trapsuki" that saying natsuki is a ""trap"" (ew.) because of her small chest and broad shoulders was disrespectful. you guys do know cis girls can look like that right

#sigi pondering #doki doki literature club #natsuki #child abuse mention #the term trap is really gross by the way #i'm debating posting this but whateverrrr

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wolfyoucanttame · 2 years

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I am not a whole person and I don't think I ever will be. Parts of me died in the house that I grew up in and I visit them in dreams.

#literature #spilled thoughts #authors #poem #poetry #quotes #spilled poetry #writing #grief #ghosts #words #haunted house #childhood #childhood home #child abuse #toxic household #abandoned #dark academia #dark acadamia quotes

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thenarrativefoil · 6 months

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Walk with me for a while.

ghost /ɡōst/ noun

an apparition of a dead person which is believed to appear or become manifest to the living, typically as a nebulous image."the building is haunted by the ghost of a monk" [oxford languages via google]

epigenetics /ˌepəjənˈediks/ noun

the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than alteration of the genetic code itself. [oxford languages via google]

"Epigenetics can be thought of as a very specific sort of memory." "-most memories involve the [nervous system] storing experiences by altering connections between cells" [1]

"In a post mortem study on humans, Individuals [who died of natural causes] showed [altered] methylation in key areas of the hippocampus than those who died by suicide and those who died by suicide with a history of child abuse." [1]

"decreased levels of glucocorticoid receptor mRNA, as well as mRNA transcripts bearing the glucocorticoid receptor 1F splice variant and increased cytosine methylation of an NR3C1 promoter. Patch-methylated NR3C1 promoter constructs that mimicked the methylation state in samples from abused suicide victims showed decreased NGFI-A transcription factor binding and NGFI-A–inducible gene transcription" [2]

"muliebrity

if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. you will find him even when he is not there. and if one day you find that there is no angry man in your house— well, you will go find one and invite him in!" [3]

I don't know what to say about all this other than that it feels true. I've recently discovered that I don't feel things the way other people do. I have been slowly poking at what that means- feelings are something physical, a sensation in the body, like hot or cold. Some people actually get hot from emotion!

"Sympathy: I know how you feel Empathy: I feel how you feel Compassion: is there anything I can do to help?" [4]

I've leaned on compassion hard- to the point of annoyance, until I learned to ask questions before offering to help them solve the problem. But back to ghosts. Experiences change a person like a sculptor shapes clay. The creation of life from clay is a popular theme that appears throughout multiple cultures.[5]

Clay, before it is fired, can be mixed, shaped, dried, rewet, and formed again completely. It can be a hundred different things with no evidence of that in the final, fired version. Ceramics are "fired" (heated in a kiln) to different levels. Bisque means that bone-dry clay (greenware) has been fired once,at Cone 4-8, most commonly 6. Have you ever tried to exorcise a cup? Once fired, the ceramics can never return to its original state. You can smash it, you can grind it up into a fine powder. You can use ceramic powder as a metal coating, in filters;

"crushed fired clay ceramic-lime mortars are considered to be ideal for use in the restoration and conservation of ancient monuments and historic structures since they are fully compatible with the weak and porous traditional building materials" [6]

The jump from "fucked up cup" to ideal material for restoring historic structures seems too on the nose for me, as a ceramics artist who went on to restore monuments for a while. So we've got dna/clay and methylation/firing/trauma/memory/ghosts. There are ghosts of shitty cups in the cracks of restored buildings. I think of the tourists walking through, rubbing their hands on the walls and slowly corroding the monument with their acidic hand oils. Do some of the ghosts haunting me, that held my hands as I formed the wet clay, linger on their fingers when they leave? Can I put this down? Can someone else help me carry it? What is an artist but a ghost factory? I am making the ghosts, the ghosts are making me. It's an oroborous situation. I have GOT to get that snake some proper nutrition.

I had something else to say, but I forgot. My therapist tells me it's a way our nervous system protects itself from painful activation unable to be resolved.

Trauma changes the way our body functions, past emotional reactions, down to individual gene function. The war, the concentration camp, the abusive abused man, the abused child, like stacks of rocks placed on a grave in hopes of keeping the entombed inside. And yet, the undead rise! Moving strangely, covered in dirt, and stinking up the whole bus, we shuffle among the living. Some of us undetected! Most of us, well, we've got limbs falling off. We don't act right. So you're dead, but you really want to live. You go find yourself an exorcist, a physical therapist, a specialist who thinks they know what your problem is and has a strict regimen on how to fix you. Some things work, some things don't. You're still dead, but your skin is rotting less these days. Some days you wish Victor Frankenstein was real, someone with enough hubris to cut you up and zap you to life. But, you have to be what you want to see in the world. You're used to playing all the parts. You search for any information that can help you patch the function of your genes, behaviors and beliefs that will loch and dam the waterfall of your experience. You start believing in ghosts, and it's about time, since you've been haunted all your life. Try not to let it progress to possession, exorcists are really expensive.

[1] Transgenerational Trauma: The Role of Epigenetics

[2] Epigenetic regulation of the glucocorticoid receptor in human brain associates with childhood abuse

[3] Cut

[4] Quote from seananmcguire's dad

[5] Wikipedia: Creation of life from clay

[6] Use of crushed fired clay ceramics in the production of mortars

#ghosts #text #epigenetics #trauma #suicide #child abuse #walk with me #it's fall and I'm thinking about ghosts and reading too much medical literature #i did this instead of trying to read about HNMT genes #chronic illness #haunting #ghost stories

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sharry-arry-odd · 1 year

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Was Daedalus really stricken with grief when Icarus fell into the sea? Or just disappointed by the design failure?

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, by Alison Bechdel

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iamherpomegranate · 8 months

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the dog; pk (september 2023)

#original poem #original poetry #pk poetry #literature #poet #words #thoughts #parental trauma #toxic family #poetry #parental abuse #child abuse #animal abuse

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park-bench-poet · 1 year

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"Heathcliff is the villain of Wuthering Heights!!" How can you say that when Hinley Earnshaw (and cruelty and greed and emotional brutality and wealth and the class system) is RIGHT THERE?

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