Tips for people with sensory issues!
Have your fidget toys with you
Have your earphones with you at all times
Have a Playlist of sounds or songs or noises that help calm your sensory issues
Wear comfy clothes
Have something like a cream or whatever to put on your hands after cleaning them.
But make sure it's a cream. That doesn't trigger your sensory issues
For those that smell help them
Have a perfume with you or a sense oil or a cream. Or even a squishy that has a sense
And when youre at home light a sense candle
When you touch something out of texture
Wash your hands and put a cream on it
Or just wash your hands as much as you need
If some food make your sensory issues explode
Don't chew a lot or eat slow
If when your mouth is full it triggers it. take small bites
Drink lots of water
Wait after like 1 to 3 bites just a little
If at school you get overwhelmed by the noises in class tell your teacher about it after class or even while in class.
And if they don't know about your sensory issues tell a principal or your favorite teacher
To let you leave the class without saying anything
Or listen to music
Or go to the bathroom
Or anything that helps
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Does your loved one have borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD)?
In your relationship:
Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around your loved one, watching every little thing you say or do for fear of setting them off? Do you often hide what you think or feel in order to avoid fights and hurt feelings?
Does your loved one shift almost instantaneously between emotional extremes? For example, are they calm one moment, raging the next, then suddenly despondent? Are these rapid mood swings unpredictable and seemingly irrational?
Does your loved one tend to view you as all good or bad, with no middle ground? For example, either you’re “perfect,” and the only one they can count on, or you’re “selfish” and “unfeeling” and never truly loved them.
Do you feel like you can’t win: that anything you say or do will be twisted and used against you? Does it feel as if your loved one’s expectations are constantly changing, so you’re never sure how to keep the peace?
Is everything always your fault? Do you feel constantly criticized and blamed for things that don’t even make sense? Does the person accuse you of doing and saying things you never did? Do you feel misunderstood whenever you try to explain or reassure your partner?
Do you feel manipulated by fear, guilt, or outrageous behavior? Does your loved one make threats, fly into violent rages, make dramatic declarations, or do dangerous things when they think you’re unhappy or may leave?
If you answer “yes” to most of these questions, your partner or family member might have borderline personality disorder.
Remember the 3 C’s rule
Many friends or family members often feel guilty and blame themselves for the destructive behavior of the borderline person. You may question what you did to make the person so angry, think you somehow deserve the abuse, or feel responsible for any failure or relapse in treatment.
But it’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for another person. The person with BPD is responsible for their own actions and behaviors.
The 3 C’s are:
I didn’t cause it.
I can’t cure it.
I can’t control it.
When things are calmer:
Listen actively and be sympathetic. Avoid distractions such as the TV, computer, or cell phone. Try not to interrupt or redirect the conversation to your concerns. Set aside your judgment, withhold blame and criticism, and show your interest in what’s being said by nodding occasionally or making small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.” You don’t have to agree with what the person is saying to make it clear that you’re listening and sympathetic.
Focus on the emotions, not the words. The feelings of the person with BPD communicate much more than what the words he or she is using. People with BPD need validation and acknowledgement of the pain they’re struggling with. Listen to the emotion your loved one is trying to communicate without getting bogged down in attempting to reconcile the words being used.
Try to make the person with BPD feel heard. Don’t point out how you feel that they’re wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they’re saying is totally irrational.
Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out. Avoid getting defensive in the face of accusations and criticisms, no matter how unfair you feel they are. Defending yourself will only make your loved one angrier. Walk away if you need to give yourself time and space to cool down.
Seek to distract your loved one when emotions rise. Anything that draws your loved one’s attention can work, but distraction is most effective when the activity is also soothing. Try exercising, sipping hot tea, listening to music, grooming a pet, painting, gardening, or completing household chores.
Talk about things other than the disorder. You and your loved one’s lives aren’t solely defined by the disorder, so make the time to explore and discuss other interests. Discussions about light subjects can help to diffuse the conflict between you and may encourage your loved one to discover new interests or resume old hobbies.
Try to be patient. If your loved one is struggling to deal with their emotions, try not to get involved in an argument in the heat of the moment. It could be better to wait until you both feel calmer to talk things through.
Don't judge them. Try to listen to them without telling them that they're overreacting or that they shouldn't feel the way they do. Whether or not you understand why they feel like this, and regardless of whether you feel it's reasonable, it is still how they're feeling and it's important to acknowledge it.
Be calm and consistent. If your loved one is experiencing a lot of overwhelming emotions, this could help them feel more secure and supported and will help in moments of conflict.
Help remind them of all their positive traits. When someone you care about is finding it hard to believe anything good about themself, it can be reassuring to hear all the positive things you see in them.
Try to set clear boundaries and expectations. If your loved one is feeling insecure about being rejected or abandoned, or seems worried about being left alone, it can be helpful to make sure you both know what you can expect from each other.
Plan ahead. When the person you're supporting is feeling well, ask them how you can help them best when things are difficult.
Learn their triggers. Talk to your loved one and try to find out what sort of situations or conversations might trigger negative thoughts and emotions.
Learn more about BPD. BPD is a complicated diagnosis, and your loved one might sometimes have to deal with other people's misconceptions on top of trying to manage their mental health problem.
Help them seek treatment and support.
Help them find an advocate.
Take care of yourself. Looking after someone else can sometimes be difficult and stressful. It's important to remember that your mental health is important too.
Things that do not help:
Do not take over control of their life. Support them to make their own choices. Avoid conflict or arguments over these.
Avoid the temptation to try to rescue the person from a particular situation. Don’t imagine that you can fix their life for them.
Avoid being drawn into their conflicts with other people, including their psychiatrist (e.g. cancelling appointments on their behalf instead of expecting them to do so themselves, or being drawn into one side of a family conflict).
Don’t try to be their therapist. Instead, help them find the right treatment and support them to follow their treatment.
Try not to get defensive in the face of accusations and criticism. When they get emotional or angry, it is not just about you or about the situation – they are trying to deal with BPD at the same time. Try to distinguish the person from the illness.
Setting goals for BPD recovery: Go slowly
When supporting your loved one’s recovery, it’s important to be patient and set realistic goals. Change can and does happen but, as with reversing any kind of behavior pattern, it takes time.
Take baby steps rather than aiming for huge, unattainable goals that set you and your loved one up for failure and discouragement. By lowering expectations and setting small goals to be achieved step by step, you and your loved one have a greater chance of success.
Supporting your loved one’s recovery can be both extremely challenging and rewarding. You need to take care of yourself, but the process can help you grow as an individual and strengthen the relationship between you.
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