We always answer the same question “how are you?” with the same “I’m well!” Followed by the fake smile & a days worth of a fake front. What happens if I were to answer that with honesty? What would they say?
But speaking of honesty, I am going to be honest, here. Im not happy these days. Im not happy with where I am at in life. I am not happy with how people treat me, when I give them my all. Im not happy with how alone I feel. Im not happy with myself. I could probably make an entire list of hundreds of things that have left me completely dissatisfied. I have felt like I am not where Im supposed to be. Whats MY purpose?
I feel alone. Just recently, I told someone that I felt alone and they responded “But you like to be alone.” But they were right- I do like to be alone. So why is it so different this time? Why is it hard when nobody asks me how my day is? Why is it upsetting going days without a text message from anyone? Why am I so upset that nobody has time? Why don’t I have anyone to turn to when I’m down and want to just talk? In that moment, I kinda felt like maybe I had pushed the entire world away & this is what I deserve. Maybe, theres some truth to that.
I get it. This isn’t very positive, and there isn’t going to be some part where I tell you what helps you get over those feelings or that “brighter days are up ahead.” But I do hope that I can relate to someone out there. That maybe someone who feels alone and reads this knows that they are NOT alone, and that they can reach out at any time of day without judgement. Maybe someone can find peace in knowing that other people are going through the same things.
But to shed some light of positivity, I 100% know that things will look up for me, that these feelings are temporary & I will find my place and some breakthrough is around the corner. I will figure it out. I know its in my hands, and that at any point I can make any decision to change my entire life. We’ll get there.
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