#and i figured that the concept needed to be included here in the journal as well lol

[bunnyhugs77]

Mr. Take Your Bitch

Pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 8.2k

Content Warning: jk is a little cocky, player! jk, reader gets flustered so easily, jk is such a tease, smooth talker jk, clubbing, ft bts, interviews, reader is small (like 5'1), insults, alcohol consumption, infidelity, readers boyfriend is an asshole, mentions of smoking, impulsive jk, what happens in vegas stays in vegas, messyyy, suggestive themes, sweet gestures.

Other Content: hair pulling, manhandling, oral sex (f! receiving), squirting, missionary, jk splits reader in half, big dick! jk, doggy style, dacryphilia, praise and degradation, cream pies, minor possessive jk, unprotected sex (be better than them), recording.

"How do I look?" Sunny tosses the perfectly sculpted curls in her hair once more, pouting in the dressing room mirror, making sure that not a strand was out of place.

"For the eighth time, you look great, as always." She stands, her red off-the-shoulder top accenting her white pencil skirt and perfect figure, she really did look gorgeous. "Great isn't enough. This is the first time I'm interviewing THE BTS. I need to look perfect."

"You do. I promise." You reassure with a comforting right hand on her shoulder while you center her necklace with your left. "Y/n, we need you out here to help set up." Your manager cracks the door open to call for you briefly before leaving.

"I still cannot believe you dragged me into this coffee girl job just for you to get close to Namjoon." Sunny's full lips stretch from ear to ear showing off her million-dollar smile, "What's so wrong about me wanting you nearby for emotional support? But at least I got you a job out of it, 3 weeks ago you were on the brink of poverty.'' Her arms crossed and you had to admit, she did have a point.

"What was the whole point of this again?" You simply had to ask, remembering the midnight phone call Sunny surprised you with about a month ago when she landed the Hybe interviewer position.

"Remember the story I told you about, in Junior year, me and this boy from math camp snuck out 6 miles away with fake IDs and got shitfaced at the nearest bar then hooked up but I never got his name and he was in the middle of signing my journal we were interrupted and I never saw him again until-"

"You saw Namjoon's face on a billboard in Seoul, and you took this opportunity to get close to see if it was him or not. Yes, I remember now, it's all coming back to me." You finish her story for her.

"Exactly, and-"

"--Y/n, sometime today would be great." Your manager interrupts once again and you leave, apologizing frantically for making them wait, not wanting to lose this job. It actually paid pretty well considering all you did was make drinks.

Walking out of the dressing room, ignoring the buzz in the back pocket of your jeans as you followed your manager to the coffee cart offset. Although from here you had a perfect view of where the interview would take place.

They set it up to be very stylish and modern with BTS albums and concept photos placed strategically around the set within the camera shot. Along with a small coffee table, one chair on one side where Sunny would sit and seven on the other side.

It almost gave you chills to think about. The fact that in a few moments, the most popular boy band in the continent would be sitting right there. All seven of them, including the tempting one.

The one who makes you stumble over your words every time he comes down to the first floor to get a coffee even though there's a gazillion other places to get something to drink in the building.

Every time you see him, he's displaying a new style. Sometimes he comes down stacked with complex layers of clothing and covered in jewelry, or with nothing more than a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, although the latter was possibly the worst of your few interactions. He's just so handsome, it made you want to squirm.

That day he was saying all the right things, yet saying nothing at all. Asking you simple questions like when you started working here, and if you liked coffee, meanwhile all you could mutter was an embarrassing 'yes'. What exactly you were saying yes to? You may never know.

You turned your back to the set and focused on making the pre-ordered drinks the members had sent down with their manager beforehand. By the time you turned back around Sunny was sitting in her place, anxious but ready.

You've been best friends since the 6th grade. She's incredibly outgoing and sociable, a balancing contrast to your more introverted nature although you could be a little extroverted with some alcohol in your system.

She was born for this job, you're sure she'll kill the interview. She mentioned that she'd bumped into a few of the members since she started working a month ago, but not Namjoon.

She definitely underestimated how hard it would be to 'bump' into a man who is guarded by security constantly and extremely busy, not to mention rarely in the country.

Hoseok was the first one to walk in, looking sharp as ever in casual attire but he he made it look incredible. Next was Jimin, and you noticed the way Sunny's eyes nearly widened when she finally saw Namjoon walk in behind Tae.

Finally, they were all inside and all greeted Sunny with a friendly hug and you can see she enjoyed her hug with Namjoon a little too much. Somehow finding something small to laugh about with him as they pulled away.

With an empty cup in your hand, you watched the most handsome group of men you've ever seen, file into the room and take a seat. "Go set these down before cameras start rolling." You feel a tap on your shoulder from another worker.

Did you zone out?

You placed a firm hand on your chest, taking a deep breath before placing a sturdy grip on the handles of the cart and bringing their beverages over. 'One foot in front of the other' you remind yourself, doing your best to ignore the feeling of their gazes turning to you as you got closer.

Unable to look any of them in the eyes as you set down their drinks on the table saying the name of each one so they know which one is theirs.

You could feel his gaze on you whilst Sunny got to witness it first hand from where she sat. The way his jaw slowly clenches with each passing moment, watching you with dark, intense eyes. In that moment, the world around him blurred, and all that remained was the captivating image of you.

It was while you were placing down the final cup that you felt bold enough to finally look up from the table, glancing at Jimin who was talking to Hoseok on his right. Slowly your line of sight inches up and over his head to Jungkook who was sitting on a taller chair behind him.

He was looking right at you.

And that was more than enough for you to return to the cart and retreat to your station. The boys reached for their cups as the countdown to the interview began.

You watched with engaged eyes from the sidelines as the interview began, going through basic introductions and standard questions, you were listening along to the jokes made along the way.

It seemed they were having a great time out there, but you couldn't focus on all of them for too long. You wouldn't be doing your duties as Sunny's best friend if you didn't watch Namjoon's every move; including how he seemed to be the first one to answer almost any of her questions.

The questions were flying by and the discussion was so entertaining to watch but it was over before you even registered it. Sure, cameras had stopped rolling but they were all still talking.

You felt another buzz in your pocket, finally deciding to check.

 Daehyun: Are you still mad? It's been 2 days, you're being dramatic. 12:02 pm

 Daehyun: Why aren't you answering my texts? 1:12 pm

 Daehyun: Fine. Keep ignoring me. Real mature, Y/n. 1:13 pm

You scoff at the messages.

Unbelievable.

Your boyfriend has left you astonished. Again!

You put your phone back on silent, secretly wishing you'd never checked it in the first place. Muttering under your breath about what a jerk he's been to you lately but you stop yourself. Because he's still your boyfriend, and sure, he fucked up a few times, bad. It doesn't change the fact that you're in a relationship with him.

If you could even call it that.

You've slept together twice. Well- 1.5 times if you wanted to get specific. The second time was so bad that you simply had to stop it altogether and make up some excuse so that you didn't hurt his feelings.

Shaking him out of your head and focusing back on your task at hand which was collecting the empty mugs from the table. Repeating the same process as before, avoiding all eye contact, but this time you didn't look up.

You didn't bother because you already knew he was watching you.

You were intimidated but you weren't oblivious.

-

"Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!" You hear her from around the corner before you see her running towards you at your coffee station on the first floor. Sunny was practically bursting. You would think that she had captured the sun between her hands but it was something that would take your life for a spin, but you didn't know that yet.

"You're interview went so well!" You slip in your comment first knowing that once she says whatever she has to say, it'll go on for years.

"I know right! After you left to pack up, I was still talking to the guys and they really seemed to like me so they invited me and any +1 I want to invite on their weekend in Vegas trip tomorrow night! All expenses paid for!" Jaw-dropping wasn't the word. Knee buckling may be a better fit as you had quite literally stumbled and dropped a mug, thankfully it didn't break.

"No. No no no." You say, backing up and her entire demeanour deflated like a devastated puppy. "Why not?" You lean in close, whispering, "Because Jungkook is gonna be there--" She interrupts you, practically exploding with emotions. "Oh my god, he wants you so bad. Did you see the way he was looking at you?!" She whisper shouts.

"I know!" you plain shout out, realizing your volume needed adjusting and leaning forward onto the counter. "But he's Jeon Jungkook and I have Daehyun-" The most disgusted look runs across Sunny's face.

"I cannot believe you are even comparing the two right now. You said it yourself, one is Jeon Jungkook, and the other is Daehyun, a man you should've left in the dust months ago." Here we go again, you sigh.

"C'mon Y/n. He's an asshole, he's childish, he's bad in bed and honestly, the list should end there but no, he humiliated you in front of your family and he was caught in your sister's dm's on Christmas!!"

"It's May for god's sake and he's still stressing you out, and seeing you stressed makes me stressed. So why don't you come tomorrow, I'll keep you away from Jungkook if it comes to that, but please, you need to let loose a little and forget about him for just the weekend." She begs.

She could see you were starting to consider it.

"Please?" She pouts, giving you those same puppy eyes that convinced you to work here in the first place. "Please don't look at me like that, stop." You try to avoid her sorrowful gaze but It's like it intensifies to a point where you just can't look away, nor can you deny.

"Fine, fine. Okay, I'll go."

--

Considering you only just found out you were leaving the country yesterday, you think you did pretty good packing light but efficiently.

That's what you were thinking as you stepped behind Sunny onto the empty private jet. She'd already made arrangements to sit beside Namjoon.

She was crazy but you had to give the girl credit, she worked fast.

You weren't taking in a single thing, part of you was still in disbelief you had even seen the boys up close and personal yesterday.

This would all sink in for you in 5 years and then you'll be hit with a numbing regret of not doing things differently.

Or maybe it'll sink in for you right now, Jimin's full head of brown wavy hair is the first one you see to pop up on the plane and he flashes you a kind smile, taking a seat beside you.

He introduces himself as if you and half the world don't already know him but you engage anyway, giving him your name and the rest is history.

The flight was 11 hours so there was a lot of ground to cover between the two of you for the first 6 hours. Jimin was just such an easy person to open up with, any time you said something crazy you felt like he would have an even crazier story of his own to share.

He'd told you all about his first impressions of the guys to his first scandal that the label somehow managed to cover up because even you were in shock. It would have been over for him.

Then it was your turn, telling him about your exhausting boyfriend since it all started seven months ago.

"On Christmas?!" He shouts, "Why are you with him again?" You groan, "God you sound just like Sunny!"

The two of you were clearly enjoying your conversation while Sunny worked on getting Namjoon to talk a little bit about his past, trying to see if he really was the boy from all those years ago, but he seemed occupied reading his book and she wasn't going to interrupt him any longer. She sighs softly, looking out the window, watching the clouds fly by like art.

Meanwhile, at the front of the jet, Jungkook typed away on his laptop, sometimes blurbing some possible lyrics, but mostly keeping himself busy with a thousand rounds of Tetris. He tuned out the sound of your angelic laughter with his headphones, but it couldn't stop him from glancing to the back of the plane where you sat with Jimin every so often.

Only about an hour left before you landed and you really needed to pee but Jimin was in the way and fast asleep. You looked around, it seemed that everyone was fast asleep, but you really had to go.

Lightly tapping Jimin and asking him to let you through, he moves, half awake, just giving you enough time to pass before going back to his original position.

You exited the bathroom, nearly falling to the ground in horror when you came face to face with the man you'd nearly forgotten was on the jet. He smiles that classic bunny smile that the fans go crazy over.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He says it so sweetly, and in this hushed tone due to the late hour of the night it was making your head think things. Things that you should not be thinking about.

"You okay?" Checking in, seeing that you seemed to have zoned out mid-conversation. Shit. You were doing it again. "Y-yeah." You hated speaking to him it made you feel like you couldn't speak at all. He was just so tall, and his eyes were so big and endearing and-

"Really? Cause it looks like you've got something on your mind." It comes out in such a way that brings heat to your face, suddenly hyper-aware that everyone is asleep, and the two of you are out of sight in the narrow hall of the bathroom.

"Yeah, just excited for tomorrow." You lie, you felt sick to your stomach. He made you sick to your stomach. He gets a little closer, now close enough for you to be able to smell the soft cologne on his clothes. "What's got you so excited?"

It felt like you were watching yourself fall from the sky, it was slow but graceful, but you knew once you hit the bottom, things would get ugly. So you grew wings. "My boyfriend. We're planning on Facetiming tomorrow." It was like a repellant, the way he stepped back.

"Oh, that's nice." He mumbles and you take this opportunity to run back to your seat, hopping over Jimin and strapping yourself back in your seat, shaking your head over and over again.

This was a bad idea. You should not have come on this trip.

-

"She has a fucking boyfriend." Is the first thing Jungkook says to Yoongi and Jimin while the three sit in the back of the taxi that is en route to the hotel. Yoongi wasn't listening, still half asleep after only waking up 30 minutes ago. He would need a repeat of it all tomorrow.

"Pfft. Barely." Jimin mumbles. Triggering quite possibly the fasted head turn known to mankind, Jungkook looks at him with intrigue, "What do you mean by that."

"He's an asshole. Like a literal piece of shit, but she's still with him for whatever reason. It's gotta be Stockholm syndrome." Jimin shrugs. "But you can't tell her I told you this, I think she's pretty cool, so before you get your dick wet, think with your head first."

Yoongi hums in agreement with that one statement. He may be asleep but he knows a good statement when he hears one.

-

Jungkook did think. He thought about you all night. From the cab to the hotel, until he fell asleep and again when he woke up. Sure, you had a boyfriend, but it sounds like you shouldn't be with him, or at least deserved someone better.

The morning sun seeps through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the lavish surroundings. You and Sunny share a glance, a silent acknowledgment of the incredible experience that awaits. Or at least that's what Sunny thinks.

Instead, you retreat under the covers of your bed with an unpleasant sound. "How could I let you bring me here." Your voice is muffled and scratchy from it being the morning still. "Because you love me." She runs from her bed and jumps onto yours.

"Should we get room service?" She proposes and you slowly pull the covers down, revealing an interested expression. "Who's paying?" You ask. "Who cares! It's not us." She springs up and bounces for the phone.

By the late afternoon, you'd gotten an invite from Jimin, inviting you guys down to the pool, it was reserved just for them. "We're going, this isn't up for debate, Y/n. You said you would relax on this trip, so it's my job to make sure you do!" She pulls out the violet two-piece you'd packed in your luggage and shoves you into the bathroom, throwing the clothes in there with you after and shutting the door.

"I hate you y'know," you say from the other side of the door.

"You'll thank me one day, Y/n. One day."

-

There was a roar of cheers from the guys as the two of you walked into sight, the sun was beaming down on you and you were glad you brought your sunscreen.

Jungkook tried to be respectful to the sham of a relationship you were in but what was he supposed to do? You looked so hot in your bathing suit, you were so small but you still had curves in all the right places.

He just wanted to break you in half. Pin you down and-

A splash of water hits him in the face, "Stop eye fucking her and act like you've been neutered for once." Yoongi warns, swimming away before Jungkook could retaliate.

Jin calls Sunny into the water, and she just about jumped in while you were working on unwrapping your new bottle of sunscreen. Jungkook uses this as an opportunity. Looking down at the white shirt that was now soaked through, sticking to his abs he slowly steps out of the water.

Looking you right in the eyes as you shook the bottle. Now you were staring but you didn't care. You were looking at the son of Adonis, or maybe the god himself.

In the warm glow of the poolside sun, Jungkook emerged from the sparkling water, droplets cascading down his glistening skin. The pool's rippling surface bore witness to his athletic grace as he approached the pool chair where you reclined, still shaking the bottle.

His steps were confident, each one leaving a trail of water on the tiles beneath his feet. As he neared, he held your gaze with an intense, playful glint in his eyes. The air between you became charged with a magnetic energy, and a sly smile played on his lips.

With deliberate movements, Jungkook reached down to the hem of his white shirt, clinging to his sculpted physique. The fabric peeled away, revealing the contours of his toned abs. Beads of water followed the curves of his body, accentuating every defined muscle.

As the shirt came off, the sunlight caught on the droplets clinging to his skin, creating an ethereal effect. The sensual eye contact between the two of you intensified, creating a moment suspended in time. The poolside ambiance seemed to hush, allowing the connection between them to take center stage.

Your fist clenched, the sunscreen blurted out of the bottle, some landing on the smooth skin of your thigh but most hit the chair.

Jungkook's expression hinted at a playful confidence, acknowledging the allure of the moment. Your little accident told him all he needed to know. You wanted him.

Even if you didn't know it yet.

Wiping desperately at the sunscreen that had landed on you, a bigger hand comes to help. Gently rubbing the soft flesh of your thigh, Jungkook was crouched to your level with nothing more than a sincere smile as he helped you with your sunscreen.

Your mouth gaped like a fish out of water as you watched him from beside yourself. Unable to believe what was happening. You could feel your heart beating in your ears, and other places but you shook your head.

"Wh-what-" Jungkook looks up to you, moving his hand away. "My bad. I didn't mean to overstep, I just noticed that you'd spilt some of your sunscreen," He inches just a little closer so that you looked down at him from where you sat on your chair. "I'd hate for it to go to waste."

That mischievous tongue of his makes an appearance briefly as it swipes over his bottom lip before retreating; leaving behind glossy plump lips. It's not what he says, but how he says it.

Almost as though he wanted you to break.

You hated how he made you feel without saying anything out of the ordinary.

"You have to be shitting me," Yoongi curses to no one in particular as he watches Jungkook lean up towards you from where he was floating in the pool on the flamingo inflatable.

"You've gotta admit, the boy's determined." Jin adds while Hoseok shakes his head, "He just doesn't know when to give up."

--

Opening your hotel room door to see Jimin leaning against the wall waiting for you. He looked incredible in his black button-up with the sleeves rolled to the elbows. His hair swooped to perfection.

"About time." He kicks himself off the wall as you scoff, "Don't blame me, blame the dress." Your freshly manicured nail points to the red, velvet dress that left your chest exposed before it went under the halter neckline.

There was so much skin offered to anyone that looked at you. You looked absolutely stunning. The way the dress clung tightly to your curves was almost ungodly but made you seem even more angelic.

Twirling on your toes slowly to showcase the full rotation of your outfit and Jimin failed to suppress his gasp. The back- Your back was completely exposed safe for where the halter crossed behind your neck.

"You look hot, and I'm not just saying that." You grin, leading the way to the elevator and waiting for it to come up.

While you were watching the elevator screen, Jimin was watching you. Not lustfully or anything since he really did see the two of you becoming close friends in the future but his gaze was full of.. fear?

Jungkook was going to eat you alive tonight, and he was willing to put money on it.

The man has been able to show limited amounts of self-control since the trip began, and his little shirtless stunt at the pool earlier that day was proof.

The elevator dings and the doors open.

You step in, hearing your phone vibrating from within your maroon chain side bag. Digging through your various lipsticks, mini perfumes and hair pins you finally grab your buzzing device.

 Daehyun: When did you go to Vegas?? and how did you get there? 4:33 pm

 Daehyun: Baby, I'm sorry. I mean it. Stop Ignoring me. (now) 8:12 pm

You sigh, scrolling through your messages sadly. "Am I being too hard on him?" Jimin leans over to look at the messages, his face turning sour at Daehyun's messages. "I bet you he doesn't even know what he's apologizing for."

The elevator doors close, and Jimin presses the star symbol for the nightclub on the first floor where you would meet the others.

Shaking your head repeatedly, "No. That's impossible. He knows, Jimin. Trust me." He doesn't seem convinced in the slightest,

"Okay. Since you're so sure-" He snatched your phone from your grasp, his fingers moving at the speed of light and you panicked, reaching for the device but he held it high. "Jimin No-!"

"I said 'What are you apologizing for'. I won't send it if you don't want me to. But It seems like he's only apologizing because he knows he's in the wrong, but doesn't know what for."

The elevator dings, going down floor by floor, the silence slowly creeping up on you, "Send it." You say, and his thumb hits send.

The doors open.

You and Jimin step out into the club. Before you sprawled a vast expanse of vibrant colours. Neon lights adorned the walls, casting a kaleidoscope of hues that danced in rhythm with the music.

The dance floor, surrounded by elevated platforms and VIP booths, was the epicentre of the vibrant spectacle. Mirrored ceilings multiplied the dazzling display, creating a sense of endless sin.

"Do you know where they are?" You ask while Jimin leads the way into the crowd of hot bodies and blasting music, he glances down to the text from Tae, "Tae said they're in section 9." Maneuvering your way through the swarm of people until you meet up with the others.

Jimin walked up the steps first, the group's cheers blending in with the roars coursing throughout the rest of the club as he joined them with you closely behind, the cheers continuing for you with whistles once you reached the platform.

"Oh shit!" Sunny curses, rushing to your side to shower you with compliments. "I guess being 30 minutes late pays off, you look great." Tae welcomes you with a side hug and an invitation to sit beside him.

"You need to cool it." Jin pulls Jungkook in by the collar so that he could hear him over the music. Jungkook finally pulls his hungry gaze off of you and looks to his elder.

"You're making it way obvious, and obvious is not what you want. She has a boyfriend. There are hundreds of other girls here, find someone else." He lets him go and Jungkook shakes his head.

How Jin even found out that you had a boyfriend didn't phase him. The seven of them were as close as brothers, it was hard for him and Jimin to keep anything to themselves.

Hundreds of girls but they weren't you. He couldn't just switch it on and off. This wasn't as fun and playful as it once was before, he was starting to get addicted to the thought of you.

"You have any pre-rolls on you?" Jungkook leans over to Namjoon who was deep into a conversation with Sunny. Namjoon reaches inside the pocket of his blazer, "Never leave home without them."

"Great. I need a smoke." Jungkook huffs, standing, purposefully avoiding your gaze. God you looked so fucking fine in that dress, it made him crazy, sick to his stomach.

He's Jeon Jungkook for god's sake.

The concept of want is so unfamiliar to him. Any girl he wants could easily be in his bed the same day, but you-- he shakes his head bitterly-- you were giving him a hard time, all over what? some lame-ass boyfriend.

"Namjoon you comin' ?" He looks over his shoulder to see both him and Sunny standing, "Mind if I join?" She asks, "The more the merrier."

You watched as the three of them disappeared into the bustling crowd vanishing out of sight. "Where did they go?"

Tae leans forward looking at where the trio had just walked through. "Probably went to go ball up." Tae shrugs, "Which means it's time to really get this night started. First round on me."

It wasn't until three shots later when Jungkook had finally come back, this was the first time you really got a good look at him. He was wearing nothing but a black jacket that had the most delicate body chains striping across his abdomen, giving you a clear view of his sculpted abs and-

Your phone buzzes.

 You: Why are you apologizing? 8:13 pm

 Daehyun: Because you're upset. (now) 9:27 pm

God, Jimin might be right. He doesn't have a clue.

 You: Do you even know why I'm mad? 9:27 pm

 Daehyun: Is it because of the nudes I sent Soo-Min? I was drunk, I promise. It was a mistake. 9:28 pm

You gasp. You had no idea what he was talking about. You were referring to him standing you up when you told all your family that he would be coming. You never knew this had even happened.

 You: What the fuck are you talking about? 9:29 pm

 You: I cannot believe you right now. 9:29 pm

 You: Stop fucking texting me. 9:30 pm

You weren't even sad or disappointed. You were used to him letting you down constantly. "Looks like you need another shot." You look up from the screen in your lap, making eye contact with ringed fingers wrapped around a shot glass with your name on it.

You take the shot in your own grasp, looking Jungkook in the eyes as you down it. Your face wincing a little at the burn in the back of your throat but you were beginning to feel that exciting warmth in your chest.

The strobe lights turn red as Chris Brown's Take You Down begins to play through the loud speakers all around the club. "Wanna dance?" He offered you his hand, your brain was a little hazy and your cheeks were flushed but Jungkook was too hot to resist.

"Love to."

The two of you walk off to the dance floor with the rest of the crowd.

Taehyung looks to Jin who looks to Hoseok who looks to Yoongi.

Yoongi sighs, shaking his head slowly taking another shot. "It's out of my control. Once they step on that floor, their fate is sealed."

It's true, the moment Jungkook's hands were on your hips that swayed to the music you knew you were screwed. You had every right to be apprehensive about going on this stupid trip in the first place, but deep down you knew it was inevitable.

This very moment was destined from the start.

"You look fucking perfect tonight." He whispers in your ear from behind you, subconsciously pushing your hips back on him and Jungkook could swear he's never wanted someone as badly as he wanted you at this very moment.

"Says you," You spin in his hold, now face to face.

His grip on your hips tighten, body unable to maintain its façade for much longer. Your hair was up in a bun tonight, showing off the industrial piercing he never even knew you had.

There were so many things he wanted to know about you, and not just physically. He wanted to be able to sit with you over a cup of coffee and talk about everything and anything.

His tight hold on you prompted a breathless whine to escape your lips but he heard it. "Stop it." He says and your eyebrows scrunch, genuinely confused. "Stop what?"

"Stop tempting me. I'm trying to be respectful." Astonishment wipes over your features. "You're telling me to stop? It's been you all along, making me trip over my words, and being so shirtless and hot all the time, making me forget I have a boyfriend." He chuckles.

"So you admit it. You think about me too?"

You step back.

"Yes, Jungkook. I cannot stop thinking about you and that's my problem. I need to get you out of my head." Your mouth was saying one thing, but with the way he was looking at you, your heart wanted him between your legs.

The almost forgotten feeling of lust finally coursed through your veins. It'd been so long since you'd gotten any action, you needed this.

But you couldn't.

He steps towards you, even closer than before. You could feel his firm body crowding against your own. The way he towered over you made you feel dizzy. He leaned down, ensuring that you could feel his warm breath on the shell of your ear when he spoke "Tell me you don't want me and I'll walk away."

You don't want him. you lie to yourself.

Trying to put these thoughts into words, your mouth opens.

"I need you, Jungkook." Finally admitting it.

There was no going back now, his lips crashed against yours with nothing less than an animalistic desire. It was fast-paced and messy but you loved it.

The dam finally broke.

You kissed with more than your lips, his hands on your waist, squeezing tight as he rolled his hips into you with the rhythm of the music.

This was so so wrong, but it felt so right.

The way his tongue rolled over your bottom lip with such skill made your thighs clench, you could only imagine the things he could do with it--

"Y/n!" Sunny screams your name from behind you, not even processing what you and Jungkook had just been doing while Namjoon was busy enjoying the music behind her.

You turned around, a little breathless and bothered after being disrupted but you were immediately occupied with analyzing Sunny's appearance. For starters her hair was ruffled and looked like it'd been put through the wringer, her lipstick (what was left of it) was fading and a little smudged.

And last that you checked she was wearing lashes when the night began but they were nowhere to be found. "Sunny where did you go-- Oh my god- Did you and Namjoon-" Her non-stop nodding causes you to clasp your hand over your mouth.

"It's him! He remembers me!" The two of you have your moment, squealing before Jungkook whispers in your ear. "Meet me at the elevator in 5." Sunny actually does catch on this time.

"Oh my god!? Are you gonna-"

You think about it, "I don't know!! Should I?! Daehyun just voluntarily admitted to sending nudes to Soo-Min god knows when and-" Sunny groans. "Leave him, for the love of god y/n stand up!" She yells.

"I can't just leave him he's my boyfriend, and it wouldn't make me any better than him." Sunny's eyes roll. "It won't be cheating if you plan on breaking up with his ass tonight. Just hurry up and decide, Jungkook's waiting for you." She winks and it gives you butterflies.

He was waiting for you.

The moment you turned the corner of the hallway, you saw Jungkook waiting outside the elevator as he said he would be, finally pressing the button. "I was afraid you wouldn't come," he laughs internally to himself at the double entendre, knowing Jungkook's track record, this has never been an issue for him.

The two of you step inside the elevator, it would be a long ride up to the 21st floor, the two of you did your best to stay to your respective sides of the elevator until there was a crowd of people that entered as well, pushing you into him.

Completely oblivious to the way your ass was pressed flush against his crotch, he looks up to the ceiling, wondering what he'd done in his past life to deserve this kind of punishment.

A beautiful girl pressed up against him but he couldn't do anything. As the crowd moved, so did you he hisses and your body stills, finally aware of what you were doing.

On the 13th floor the elevator empties completely, leaving just the two of you and you try to move away from him but his grip holds you in place. "Didn't think you'd be running from me so soon." You'd never heard his voice like this. It was deeper, bass full of wants and desires,

He spins you around, he had you cornered.

Looking up to him with that doe gaze of yours. His index finger gently rests under your chin, your gaze was practically begging him to kiss you, but in case he was hesitating you nodded just a little, permitting him to open your lips with his.

This kiss was a lot slower and deeper than the one before. It was soft and sweet, but slowly turned into a full-blown make-out session by the time the elevator made it to the 21st floor.

He leads the way to his room at the end of the hall, beside Hoseok's room.

Jungkook worked on unlocking the door while you chewed on the tip of your acrylic. Were you really about to do this?

"I'm going in my room, and you don't have to follow, but I'm leaving the door unlocked." He says, disappearing behind the door. Looking over your shoulder, your room was 4 doors down.

You could still back out now, it wasn't too late.

All you would need to do is have a long talk with Daehyun.

You scoff, even his name irritated you. Your heart knew things weren't going to work out between the two of you once you got back home, regardless of whether you slept with Jungkook or not.

He's broken your trust far too many times, and besides, Sunny was right, he is an asshole.

You walk into Jungkook's room and make sure to lock the door behind you.

"That's my girl," He purrs as he steps towards you, taking your face in his hands before gracing you with a heated kiss, the kind of kiss that made you stumble as he walked you back to the door.

"Hope you put that phone on dnd." He whispers, kissing down your neck, skillfully managing to take your hair down at the same time. You looked like the epitome of sin, hair falling over your shoulders as if it fell from grace while your neck was littered with hickeys, your plump bottom lip tugged between those perfect teeth of yours.

Your dress was the first thing to go, he loved it on you, but it served its purpose, and it did it well. Soon his jacket was finally off revealing his muscular build that you'd seen in the fan cams but it couldn't compare to the real thing.

You kissed him back desperately as your legs were wrapped around his waist while he made his way to the bed, dropping you down to your back watching the way you bounced.

Your perfect tits are the first victim of his passionate affection. Leaving tender kisses on the soft flesh, "Jungkook-" you gasp feeling him wrap his lips around your nipples, tongue working hard to push you towards that edge that you'd been inching closer to since you got in here.

He groans as he feels your hands roam over his back, anticipating the feeling of your nails scratching his skin. Finally moving down from your breasts once they were covered with his kisses and hickeys.

You could feel yourself practically soaking through your under, not to mention the way it was sticking to you. "Looks like someone's worked up," he teases, slowly peeling you out of your ruined underwear.

"What's got you so hot and bothered, is it your boyfriend?" You sit up so fast almost getting a head rush and he laughs. "Jungkook." You say and he gives you a look of lust. "What? Say it baby, use your words. Tell me who makes you this wet. Is it me or him?"

You press your legs together, unable to believe that this was turning you on more. "He couldn't turn me on." He looks up to you with wide eyes. "Is that so?" Nodding your head slowly, letting Jungkook gently push you back down to the bed.

On his knees he takes a deep breath at your core, a guttural sound rumbling in his chest as he was face to face with your dripping core. "So you're saying it's me?" he asks, letting his tongue run a flat stripe against your soaked folds.

"YES! It's you Jungkook please, stop teasing, please I can't take it. I'm already so close." You beg, body thrashing around enough for him to pin your legs over his shoulder and to keep you still.

You were stroking his ego, telling you you were already so close and he's barely touched you. Your boyfriend must've been shit in bed, and he was determined to make it up to you. He was going to show you what you've been missing.

Finally eating you out to his heart's content, ignoring the way your feet continued to move frantically over his shoulders he lapped up at your core, flicking his tongue over your clit until your body spasmed uncontrollably. "I'm-" Unable to even finish the sentence before you were blinded by an earth-shattering orgasm.

It ripped through you like a storm and came squirting out of you just like one too. "You've got to fucking kidding me," Jungkook murmurs to himself and you froze. Was he mad?

He stands up, "Of course the hottest girl I've ever seen squirts on my tongue. Good fucking hell, Y/n. It's like you want me obsessed with you." Who was he kidding, he was already obsessed.

He picked you up so carelessly, bringing you to the balcony where it overlooked the Las Vegas strip. You could see the hotel's illuminated pool and all the car lights as they zoomed on the highway far in the distance.

"Hope you're not scared of heights."

Your stomach twisted at the thought of being so high up, but it was all forgotten once your leg was propped up and you felt your folds being prodded open by the fat head of Jungkook's cock.

"No- fuck! Wait." you cursed feeling him push in just the tip, the sweet burn of his size nearly causing you to fall but he held you steady against the railing, bulging biceps on either side of your body, caging you in safely.

Jungkook knew better, this should be the last place he should be doing something like this but with your pretty ass right in front of him it was such a beautiful sight, and the scenery was cool too.

"It's too much," you pant, arms bracing yourself on the fence that kept you from falling 200 feet below. "It's only the tip baby, you sure you can take the whole thing?" You pause in thought, you needed him, all of him. "I can take it. keep going." You say and he pushes in slowly, feeling his cock fill up every nook and cranny of your womb.

It felt like he was in your lungs, you were knocked breathless, and he didn't move. Your body went limp in his arms, exactly what he feared would happen. He quite literally split you open, but you were determined to take it.

You clawed at the railing desperately, looking for any kind of relief from what you were feeling. "Deep breaths baby, I'll go slow." You nod, eyes squeezed shut as his hips slowly roll back pulling out about halfway before rocking back in.

"Oo-oh. fuck. Jungkook, keep going." you moan, head falling onto your hands; feeling what was once pain morphs into an addicting, sweet pleasure, over time his pace picks up until he was fucking into you with no remorse.

Even if no one could see you from this high up, they sure as hell could hear you. The way you cried out his name like a prayer over and over while Jungkook's brain was short-circuiting with the sight of you creaming on his dick and the obscene sounds it created.

"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this, huh?" He angles his hips, resuming his brutal pace even though you've already come twice now. Your body jolts with each snap of his hips.

You shake your head, but that isn't enough for him, flipping you around so that you're facing him, he pushes himself back in, your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately.

"Use your words Y/n. You're my smart girl, look me in the eyes and tell me that your boyfriend could never fuck you like I do." Your eyes snap open, "He c-could never fuck-!" Jungkook slowed down his thrusts to something so much deeper, your eyes rolled and Jungkook nearly came just at the sight.

"Shit, I'm gonna come." He pants, and with a few more erratic thrusts you feel his warm cum fill you up. He slowly lets you stand but your legs fail you immediately. Scooping you up in his arms effortlessly he brings you to the bed, clearly not done with you.

That's how you found yourself on the brink of your third orgasm while Jungkook plowed into you from behind, obsessed with how his cum seeped out of you and around his cock.

Your arms had given out long ago hence why your cheek was smushed into the sheets of the bed while you whimpered like a whore. "God you should look at yourself," He laughs almost maniacally from behind you.

Feeling himself approach his climax, "Jungkook- please!" you cried out, the friction only adding to the stimulation, "m' gonna-" you try to get back up on your arms but you couldn't move.

"I wonder what your boyfriend would say if he saw you like this,'' A wicked smile spreads across his lips as he reaches for your phone that was forgotten somewhere on the bed, hitting record.

Pulling you up onto your arms, tugging your hair by a makeshift ponytail, the flash highlights the various bruises all over your body left by yours truly. The audio was picking up his soft groans and your pathetic whimpers, and if the room was quiet enough you could probably hear the welt squelch of your cunt sucking in his length with each push.

"Shit, shit, shit!" You cry out, coming once more and your body goes limp, Jungkook ends the recording and tosses the phone to the side while he chases his own high finishing soon after you.

He pulls out slowly, "Y/n, baby? Are you with me?" He taps your cheek gently, and your eyes barely open, "I think you fucked the soul out of me," He dares to flash you a nervous smile as if he hadn't just fucked you dumb.

"Come, let's get you cleaned up."

-

"That was one hell of a trip." You mumble to Sunny on the phone as you wheel your suitcase down the hall to the door of your apartment where there was a big bouquet of flowers.

"Oh my god," You say, crouching down, wincing a little as you did to read the card. "What?" Sunny asks and you explain what you were seeing.

"Do you think they're from Daehyun?" You scoff, "Fat chance."

You open the envelope to read the card aloud,

'To the hottest girl. We should get donuts sometime, I heard you like them cream-filled ;) Text me sometime xxx-xxx-xxx. -J.K'

Sunny squealed in your ear.

"I'll call you back." You say, dialling Jungkook's number.

"Hello?" He answers.

"You got me flowers?" You couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face, and he could hear it. He closed his fridge and leaned on the counter, "You like 'em?"

Holding the vase in your hand you take a deep sniff, "I love them."

He shakes his head. "This is so sad. You're too easy to impress. Let me treat you better than that jerk, Y/n." Your mouth falls open-

"How- What?"

"Jimin mentioned the details to me but don't get mad at him; it doesn't change the fact that the guy is an asshole." You sigh.

"I know."

"So?" Jungkook starts, waiting for you to say something.

"I think you mentioned something about cream-filled donuts. When and where?"

He smiles.

#bts #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook ff #jungkook fic recs #bts one shot #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #btssmuts #bts scenarios #fluff #bts smut #smut

[olomaya]

Voidcritters (Afterschool Activities+)

18 August: This mod has been updated. Please refer to this post for more information before downloading.

6 May Update:

This is just a small update. Apparently the Store Tablet (which the Simtendo Twitch is cloned from) gets routinely purged from inactive Sims' inventory. So I updated it to stop it from happening. You just need to redownload the MAIN file to get this fix.

19 March Mod Fixes/Tweaks:

Mod should now run for players without Script Utility (thanks to the Anon for bringing this to my attention!)

Included a fix where Sims without cards asking others about their favorite voidcritters produced an error

Fixed an issue where the "Ask to Join Voidcritters Club" option was still available even after the target joins the club

Sims can now sit while playing Voidcritters Go! on their phone

Please also note that you need CCLoader in order for the custom comic books to show up.

This is a TS3 version of Voidcritters which came in one of the TS4 packs and the second in my Afterschool Activities+ series of mods. I haven’t actually played with Voidcritters in TS4 but I really liked the concept and the worldbuilding and effort they put into it. Technically anyone can play but I made it for children and teens in mind. Sims can collect, trade, train and battle Voidcritters cards and play with their friends at the Voidcritters club. I didn’t want to go through the trouble of converting that bulky battle station and was planning to put it on the computer but then saw ATS3 had created a Nintendo Switch system based off the Store tablet and that was perfect. 

For more information about the Voidcritters, you can read the handy guide here.

The card and packs are by me converted from TS4. The Switch is from Around the Sims 3 and is based on the Store tablet so you will need the tablet for the animations. Thanks as always to Sandy at https://aroundthesims.tumblr.com/ for her amazing cc and her generous use policy! Unfortunately I couldn’t figure out how to edit the video effect for gaming so it’s off completely and I just added some gaming sound to it. If anyone knows, please give me some tips!

I'm pretty happy with how this turned out except for the Read Stats interaction on the card. The card sticks through the Sim's hand. I tried for hours to fix it but alas, animation is not my forte. I was going to just remove it but it's the only place where I included the cute little descriptions for each Voidcritter so I'm leaving it in. Aside from the descriptions, all the information on each of your cards can be found either in the skill journal or by hovering over each card.

You need NRaas Career for the custom afterschool club, the Store tablet for the Twitch and Generations and University for other gameplay or animations.

Let me know if you have any issues! More details after the cut.

Download (8 files) here

How to Play

Voidcritter cards can be purchased in Entertainment/Hobbies&Skills or Kids Room/Toys. They come in packs: Starter Packs (§75) which have Common cards, Booster Packs (§90) which have Uncommon cards, and Battle Packs (§105) which have Rare cards. The cards you get are random each time you open a pack.

Common cards are §25 each, Uncommon are §45 each and Rare cards are §105. The values of the cards will depreciate over time but also can increase depending on their rarity and power level so you can sell them to make a some profit after training them up. 

You train up your Voidcritters on the “Simtendo Twitch” handheld (Electronics/Misc; §500) and then battle them against other Sims that also have Voidcritters which will boost the power level of your Voidcritters and your Voidcritter skill. 

Using the Twitch, you can battle with anyone who has a VC card online or anyone who has at least one card and a Twitch in person. Battles are decided based on the players’ VC skill, the power levels of the Voidcritters that are battling and if they have an elemental advantage (i.e. Water Voidcritters have an advantage over Fire ones).

You can also play a mobile version ("Voidcritters Go!") on your smartphone. However, this will only increase your VC skill. You can't battle with cards on it.

Voidcritter Skill

The Voidcritter Skill is for children and teens. There are 10 levels for this skill. Once you max out the skill, you will get a Limited Edition card.

There are two skill challenges: Battle Master and Top Trainer. A Battle Master is a Sim who has won 20 battles. They will earn extra battle points when in a battle.  A Top Trainer is a Sim who has at least 5 Voidcritters with 100 power level each. (I know the photo above says different because I took it before I made the change after realizing how difficult that challenge would be.) After achieving this challenge, you will be able to train your Voidcritters much faster.

Uncommon, Rare and Limited Edition cards are skill-gated meaning that you have to reach certain skill levels (4, 8 and 10, respectively) in order to train or battle with them.

Gameplay Interactions

Aside from buying cards, you can also trade cards with other VC players to fill out your collection or get rid of duplicate cards. You can also give cards away. If other Sims have cards, there are specific interactions that will appear like asking about their favorite Voidcritter. Children and teens can also beg their parents or grandparents for a Simtendo Twitch. If you have a bad relationship with someone and they have cards, you can beat them up and steal a card from them.

Voidcritters Club

Voidcritter enthusiasts can join the Voidcritters Club afterschool activity where they will gain VC and video gaming skill and can battle with other club members. There’s also a chance they may find a card while at the club. Sims can invite their friends to join the club as well.

Other Nerd Actions

Sims can read one of the 8 Voidcritter Comics you can purchase at the bookstore. There’s a 25% chance that you find a card in the comic book.

Finally, what is a proper nerd without some fanfic? I added the option for Sims with Level 5+ Voidcritter Skill and Level 1+ writing skill to write Voidcritter fanfiction. You can also read fanfic if someone else has written it and if you are the writer, you can read reviews of your fic. Playing Voidcritters and everything VC related also builds the Nerd Influence skill.

#sims3cc #sims 3 mods #s3cc download #s3cc #sims 3 cc #download #voidcritters

[companionwolf]

Hello all! I've consolidated the responses so far to my call for 'core selfship / ficto experiences' in relation to my 'having a f/o' solo journaling ttrpg project-- I want to let you all see what's been offered so far and also explain a bit more about what a solo journaling ttrpg is! (:

That explanation and the ideas offered below the cut, because otherwise this is a long post. For anyone this post breaks on, please forgive me.

To start, what's a ttrpg? It's short of table top role-playing game, sometimes called a physical game. If you've ever heard of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), you know what a table top game is!

For those who haven't, table top games are basically like if you took playing pretend and gave it some rules-- or didn't. The world of TTRPG games is vast and encompasses a wide range of games from super crunchy structured rules with Lots of dice and math to games that are less than one page and super loose and free-form-- some don't even use dice!

The difference here is that most people think you need a group to play tabletop games. And if that's the experience you want, that's true. However, clever gamers have made rules and ways to play games by themselves! Some people emulate the person who runs the game using a generator, while others do games more guided by prompts. This latter one is what I'm doing-- it's called a journaling game.

Journaling games have a basic core of the idea that you / your character journals their experiences as they play (or after, if you don't want to interrupt your flow). Usually the main mechanic is generating prompts off a list using dice or card pulls, but some of these games also include mechanics like ticking boxes off, gathering resources, and making choices.

I'm still trying to figure out what mechanics I want in my game. Obviously there will prompts, but everything else I'm workshopping-- right now I've been gathering data, in the form of looking at other solo games for how they handle their gameplay. Sadly none of the things I've looked at quite fit what I want, but they're useful enough that I've began a design document.

In terms of themes - I want to touch on longing, distance, intimacy (not essentially romantic), and self love/etc. I'm also toying with the concept of a eventual expansion that allows you to play as your F/O, but I need a base game first, so that's just an idea right now.

Anyway, here's what folks have suggested as ideas so far --

- longing yearning etc

- knowing there will never be physicality / hearing their voice / etc

- loving someone you cannot touch/etc

- the self love aspect

- imagines, headcanons, etc

- interacting with f/os source

- community or lack of

- dealing with feeling shame/etc or being picked on/etc for selfshipping

- dealing with jealously/difficulty 'sharing'

- aking things related to your f/o (example: wedding albums)

- easy source eod joy and comfort

- knowing songs and art f/o would like

- finding things that are stressful LESS so because talking about it with f/o would help

- the cute guilty pride of 'I like this character' 'me too I actually self ship with them'

- having a friend who understands when no one else is around (even if they are from media)

- daydreaming

- trying to get yourself to dream about them

- always knowing exactly what to commission someone for

- spending money on f/o related things (merch, other items that remind you of them, comms)

- selfship when the relationship is something you'd never want irl

- using selfship to figure out what you want (in a relationship for example)

- social aspect (assumptions people make, the selfship community)

- dreams about your f/o

- f/os helping against self negativity

- feeling like they're present in your life (and or imagning them with you)

- feeling insecure (bc you can't get confirmation f/o returns/would return feelings)

- freedom of headcanon and making S/Is

- becoming in a way part of another world

- never lacking someone to talk to

- the painful remembrance that f/o is not real and cannot really do X for you (X = have your back, for example)

- self generated serotonin

- becoming familiar with the shape of their face

- getting your daydreaming muscles back up to strength

- analyzing songs through a new lens

- feeling both love and loneliness in the community

- writing letters to your f/o (maybe even writing some 'back' from them?")

- buying clothes to say you stole from them

- feeling your f/o loves you no matter what and will be there for you always

- gaining comfort from your f/o on bad days

- being able to tell f/o anything, from interests others may find weird to traumas and beyond

- f/o helping you overcome anxiety and boosting self esteem

- creating because of your f/o (art writing etc)

- re above: selfship as a creative outlet

- the interplay of selfship and kin

- relating something mundane to your f/o and thus it becomes special

- using your f/o to motivate yourself ('f/o would want me to take care of myself')

- self made f/os aka OC f/os rather than media ones

- seeing your f/o get bashed or misinterpred

- fear of ridicule

- daydreaming but it becomes problematic (ie it interrupts getting important tasks done etc)

#wolf barking #selfship #self ship #selfshipper #self shipping #selfshipping #f/o #fictional other #tags for visibility #feel free to reblog (: #selfship ttrpg #f/o tag

[taralen]

Information

𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘!

I am a fantasy artist and writer based in the USA. This blog is mostly for my art and for sharing others' art. Sometimes, I'll post writings, musings, or theories about a work of fiction that I think warrants some in-depth analysis. I don't have any separate blogs, as I don't see the point in making them. I struggle with a lot of mental health conditions, so I'm really unstable but congenial. Hope you don't mind! Trust me, I am no threat to the public at large! I love making others laugh and smile, so why not just laugh at me, with me? The subject of this blog is primarily art and writing. I do not repost memes if they have nothing to do with either of these two categories.

If you're looking for specific tags, please use this guide:

#my art - Use this tag to filter posts showing only stuff drawn by me

#my writing - Similar to the above but just for writing I've done.

#musings - Random thoughts, journal posts, or ramblings, aka actual "blog" posts.

#merch haul - Posts related to collectibles I've obtained that I want to share with others.

#not my art - Filter posts to only show art I've reblogged by other people.

You can find me in a few other locations, but I'm only going to list my active ones here.

DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/taralen For most of my completed pieces. The only sketches you'll find here are for clients who commissioned sketchy pieces.

Myfigurecollection: https://myfigurecollection.net/profile/Taralen For my figure and hobby-related stuff (doujin, merch, etc.) I sometimes build my own figures (aka Garage Kits.) I've been collecting valuables since I was a kid, so you can consider me an experienced collector. Have questions to avoid getting scammed? I'm the one to poke!

Pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/3540237 [[JP Only. Also 18+ but censored.]]

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/taralen Uncensored 18+ options, Hi-res versions, process compilations, and original pieces (usually concept art) I don't upload publicly.

Discord: [[Private]] I love meeting new people, but I would rather speak to someone privately on here first before I share this. I'm extremely chatty, so be warned!

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/Taralen I'm the least active on here, but I might as well include it.

DNI IF YOU: Nothing offends me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) JK I am a very curious and open-minded person. If you have views that don't align with mine, we might not have the best conversation, but it can certainly be an enlightening or interesting one! What are my views? Well, we learn these things from each other through polite conversation. Exposing myself to different lifestyles and opinions is enriching. Who knows? Even a hateful individual might change their mind when speaking to someone with kindness and understanding. I'm open to being followed, messaged, etc., by just about anyone, even people who I vehemently disagree with, UNLESS: ❎ You've committed or condoned acts of animal, child, elderly, or disabled person abuse/assault. We don't need slimes like that anywhere. Anyone that harms real innocents is a piece of human scum, regardless of whether or not they fit the categories I listed. ❎ You're just trying to sell some sex service to me. Sorry, but I am not interested. ❎ Condone or committed acts of necrophilia on deceased humans or animals. Seriously, what the $%^& is wrong with you? ❎ You are a stalker. Kind of obvious, but I had one in the past, so don't act like I forgot. 8^)

If you have similar interests, feel free to message me or ask me questions. I am lonely, so it's nice to talk to new people now and then. If you think my ideas, "headcanons," or interpretations are stupid, then that's fine. I don't expect everyone to like them. It is what it is.

Any and all reblogs are appreciated. If you repost my stuff like, say, on Reddit, please give credit and link back to the source, whether it be here or somewhere else. I always like seeing my work shared.

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

It seems we really had picked up spiritual parasites or something. Because after Era had released the tension we've been holding onto for far too long, we really felt those psychological toxins like they were real on some nonphysical level of reality. He used our fire to burn them up and devour them. It was a bit like after a lifetime of being fed on, he said, “Hey, give that back.” Then he just took what they'd stolen back, and they were reduced to ashes. It wouldn't be the first time he technically just ate an entity, of course. He did that for a friend in real life before COVID, who had a quite nasty being attached and causing strife. He basically trapped the asshole in a disposable coffee cup, with the lid. And then it was magic blender time.

To be fair, we're an agnostic Christopagan at this point. We sometimes have to suspend our disbelief because we know ritual helps through, even if nothing else, at least the placebo effect. So we just roll with it, and Era was set on getting the asshole spirit gone asap. And yes, our friend in that situation felt better consistently afterwards. So whether anyone believes this or not, the real world effects can't be ignored.

The little parasites screamed the whole time he burned them to ashes that Saturday night. It was almost fun watching parasites realize this mortal host isn't going to just exorcise them and call it done. Though to be honest, I don't think I've ever heard of a living human outright devouring and digesting the nasties that attach to and feed on them. Let's call that part of being faekin/otherkin, plus that very bloody and absolutely terrifying childhood. And then I also come from a formerly strong line of hunters on Dad's side of the family. So we saw this as simply a case of eat or be eaten. And I really didn't want to allow them to go looking for someone or something else to feed on and hurt.

...Oh, right, we started getting into Soul Eater at one point after Mom died. That actually ñmight have had something to do with it. I wouldn't be shocked. Either way, we do this now when it comes to serious threats. But honestly, it's more of a last resort. We like to avoid it wherever possible, because it's really not a nice thing to do. It's actually sad for us, because that was another entity that existed. And now it's just gone, because it made itself too much of a threat within my vicinity.

And then suddenly, with the parasites gone, all the voices of paranoia we used to have to cope with were also just gone. Our mind has been so calm and quiet since Saturday night. We've finally managed to chill ourselves out and it feels amazing. Our attention span is starting to recover faster again. Because I spent a couple hours last night writing about the last few months in my little system journal. I wrote a lot of pages. And I had to stop and go to bed before I even got to the ask Era so excitedly wrote a whole several page essay for. It also got him to open up about our brainwashing on our Facebook account, where we have the most people we know from real life, including some family.

Honestly, we're too happy about the ask for words to really do it justice. When we finally figured out what we wanted this side blog to be, it was partially to help track our mental state. But we also hoped that if others found themselves here, that what we shared would also help them if they needed it. Getting that ask helped us in return because it made us realize exactly where we started versus where we are now. Hindsight is 20/20, after all.

Era spent about a day writing that essay. It was, in fact, several pages long in the Libre Office text document. None of us ever actually thought that posting about integrating through dronification would get very much interest or attention, since dronification is a very specific kind of kink. We knew it was an odd concept for healing to start with. Chalk it up to us always trying to think outside of the box, I guess. So honestly, we're kinda... I don't know the right word for it right now. But we feel so warm and fuzzy inside from it.

Remembering things is easy now, for those parts that are also the drone. It's really, actually not just completely shrouded in our mental fog anymore. We don't have to worry about amnesia between us. I was writing in the journal from more than just what I got after fusing with our introject of the original Lion-O (yeah, this is probably what prompted a lot of changes from my source). I was also writing from the book of memories we put back in order and rebound. It's really great to have everything we've gotten so far organized so neatly.

-Catra 🧨😻

#dissociative identity disorder #did #did system #dissociative amnesia #polyfragmented #polyfrag system #polyfrag did #dissociation #alters #integration #dronification #drone kink #paranoia #spiritual stuff #spiritual practices #otherkin #faekin #spirits #spirit worker #fire magic #adhd #executive dysfunction #journaling #brainwashing #programmed system #mind control #ramcoa #recovery #kink mention #personal shit

[knittingwithhighlighters]

Some musing about epistolary books

Hello everyone! My name is Markiplier KWH, and I’m here to discuss a theory...a book theory. More specficially, lately, I've been reading the Princess Diaries (return to the early 2000s!!). And while I was reading, I noticed something interesting. So, Princess Diaries is an example of an epistolary book, which includes books written in journal or diary entries, logs, newspaper articles, letters, e-mails—so on and so forth. Other examples of epistolary books include Frankenstein, The Martian, Bridget Jones’s Diary...and yes, Dracula. 

(For what it's worth, I subscribed to Dracula Daily more than a month ago, but I haven't even cracked the story open yet.... Good thing I have until November, lol. Maybe I'll start reading it properly once I finish the other four books I've already started.)

One thing I noticed about Princess Diaries—which would apply to many epistolary books in general—is that the protagonists are seemingly able to remember large swathes of conversations they were involved in, and verbatim. Word for word, they're able to remember these huge chunks of dialogue, even though in real life this would be out of the range of possibility for most humans—and even hours or days later, in some cases, depending on when the entries are written in the book.

Of course, a Doylist perspective (out-of-universe/meta) would state that, well, the author(s) wanted the story to flow and go a certain way, and it simply made sense for them to render those conversations within the context of the story. 

A gentler Watsonian perspective (in-universe, named after Sherlock’s right-hand man John Watson) might state that, for example, the character writing the journal isn't remembering all their conversations word-for-word. Instead, they're simply remembering the general gist of conversations, and filing in the blanks after the fact with sentences that would plausibly fit into the gaps in their memory.  

But I thought of it another way, relating to the concept of Required Secondary Powers, as discussed on TV Tropes, a website that catalogs different kinds of tropes and other conventions used in media. (Fair warning: TV Tropes has been known to be addictive; memes about it will go along the lines of, for example, you start reading, and then realize you're still reading it 4 hours later. Will this apply to you, not necessarily. But I just figure I'd throw it out there regardless.) 

Anyway, according to the netizens of TV Tropes, Required Secondary Powers are when, for example, a power with a given supernatural skill would need—if the real-world laws of physics were to apply in their universe—additional, unstated powers to make their explicitly stated powers make scientific sense. To make this clear via illustration, TV Tropes provides the examples of super strength (in real life, you'd need super-strong bones for your super-strong muscles); super speed (you'd need the ability to think as fast as you can move, and a way of naturally preventing friction-induced burns); and invisibility (real-world physics would have it that—if a person was well and truly invisible—they wouldn't be able to see via human eyes).

To wit, this discussion of Princess Diaries, and other epistolary books like it, brings up an interesting thought. Following a diametrically opposed Watsonian perspective than the last one I talked about, the protagonists of epistolary books must have the Required Secondary Power of a supernaturally good memory, able to remember thousands of words of conversations exchanged between them and other people at any given time.

(Final note: it would make sense that this kind of memory does exist in real life, but my quick search on Wkpdia was inconclusive, so I couldn't tell you whether or not it really exists. What I will say, though, is that, sometimes, people and animals do have what would be considered superpowers, if their lives were works of fiction. Take the adrenaline-induced strength that has allowed people to lift cars off loved ones trapped beneath them, for example. Not to mention science—I could totally see science someday allowing us to create mechanical tentacles like Marvel’s Doctors Octopus have got. And in the animal kingdom, take your pick. Bombardier beetles, for example, will emit a toxic chemical when disturbed.)

#princess diaries #dracula daily #books #book #reading #lit #literature #shower thought #shower thoughts #book theory #book theories #fan theory #fan theories #required secondary powers #tv tropes #trope #tropes #superpower #superpowers #lol can you imagine the hearsay on these things #kwh thoughts

[monsterqueers]

I'm realizing I might not be as human as originally thought... I'm not sure where to start exploring this... you're the only blog I follow who posts about nonhuman stuff so I was wondering if you can help point me in a direction? Thank u

Hi!

So first Im gonna point you to our site's archive of various websites on the topic here: https://dragonsroost.neocities.org/nonhuman

Theres a bunch of websites to get lost in over there and a bunch of essays as well. We have some of our own works on the site too, just poke around.

Ill also recommend this: https://shadowfae.tumblr.com/post/185101209056/hi-im-pretty-sure-im-kin-but-i-have-doubts-and as something that might be useful.

All and all though, Awakening is something that everyone takes their own paths to and has different explanations for.

Your path is going to be unique to you.

Personally we would recommend looking at your nonhuman feelings and asking yourself what you feel like. What is your conception of self? Do you experience the feeling of having limbs you dont actually (both 'minds eye' and actual sensory feedback)? Do you have strong instincts that feel not standard human?

Narrow what you are down from there, and worry about a community label or mythos for why you are like that later.

For narrowing things down- hit the books. Sometimes this is easy, you feel like a cat and identify as a catperson and feel uncomfortable not having a cat body, its pretty clear you are a cat. No research necessary.

Other times it can be harder. This is where journaling comes into play. Its not that bad to do really- or, it doesnt have to be.

Just jot important things down that feel related to your sense of self, feeling like you want to have or do have in your minds eye certain nonhuman traits, feeling distressed with certain parts of being physically human, instincts you have to do certain odd things, animals that make you feel home (or hungry or scared), odd dreams centered around being nonhuman, feelings of de ja vu. Doesnt have to be daily, doesnt have to be fancy or detailed.

A note on your phone you add stuff to whenever it occurs to you is just fine, no need to have a mandatory daily journal detailing everything including all your dreams or anything.

Look up things that seem similar- including real plants and animals(both living and extinct), mythic entities, and fictional nonhuman entities. Research research research.

Its ok to be mistaken, or take a long time to figure it out. Many nonhumans have a long journey to discovery with many false alarms. Its also ok for your nonhuman feelings to change over time, or fade away all together. Take things as it comes and identify how it feels right- thats the most important thing.

Remember- like being trans, gay, or plural, people who arent those things or something adjacent dont spend a long time agonizing over it. If you feel nonhuman, you probably are somehow.

As for community stuff...

The community has a lot to it. When you figure out whats going on with you, then you figure out what part of the community you feel most comfortable in and labeling yourself with. Otherkin, therian, transspecies, general nonhuman, alterhuman, there are so many labels floating around and each of them have their own history, culture, and connotations.

Just maybe lurk a bit reading to get an idea of the manners and culture before you jump in. It really helps. Also feel free to lurk while you are figuring things out.

Hope this helped anon! Good luck on your journey!

#alterhuman #otherkin #alterhuman stuff #nonhuman stuff #long post

[finnlongman]

Very random question fueled by the hype about your incoming Laeg paper (also other random question but... Pacific Rim/Iron Widow style reimagining of Laeg and Cu Chulainn when??) but do you have any tips/templates on writing an academic article for publication?

I have never actually seen Pacific Rim, though the concept appeals to me greatly; I have however read Iron Widow and... yes, I am 100% here for this concept. Would love to see someone write that fic.

And... honestly, I don't have too much advice to give on that front. I guess a few generic tips:

Read recently published articles in your field to get a sense of length, style, tone etc. These may vary by journal, so look for one that seems to suit the kind of thing you'd be going for.

It might help to seek out other postgraduate articles, eg in the proceedings of student-run conferences, to get a sense of what other scholars at a similar level are doing. It's hard to always be comparing yourself to the big names in the field – give yourself a break!

An article needs to contribute knowledge to the field, whereas a student essay can just evaluate the knowledge that's already there. So if you're adapting work that you did as a student, consider whether it has something to add that nobody's said yet.

For me, in recent years this has meant working with texts and characters nobody cares about. Before, when I was working more on Cú Chulainn, it was about introducing theoretical frameworks that are under-utilised in my field. You can pick a big topic in the field and go argue with somebody famous, but that's a tough way to start; better to choose a small corner that nobody's looked at in a while and say, "Hey, actually this is interesting." You might even convince them.

In Celtic Studies, editions and translations are useful, so this can be a good place to start, if you have skills in that area: they serve a purpose to other scholars and provide a foundation for future work, which means they're worth publishing. In other fields, there are probably other things that are useful. If you don't already have an article in mind, figure out what would be useful to yourself and others in your field, as it might help you get a foot in the door.

As far as I can tell: Undergrad is when you think, "Huh, odd how nobody's done that." Masters is when you think, "Okay but somebody really needs to do that." PhD is when you go, "Ugh, FINE, I guess I'm doing that." Articles can be this, but on a smaller scale. What is it that you wish somebody else had done or pointed out or emphasised before? That sounds like a niche that needs filling.

Pick your journals carefully. I have very little experience of How To Pick The Right Journal, but you might want to think about things like "is it published online/open access?" or "how complicated are the submission guidelines?" or even "do I get a good vibe from the editor or are they kind of a creep at conferences?"

Conference proceedings are a less intimidating way to tackle a first publication, because you're invited to submit after presenting at the conference, so you already know they're interested. This does mean presenting at a conference, though, but postgrad conferences especially can be very friendly, so it doesn't have to be a huge intimidating big deal.

A well structured article is more convincing than an article that talks in circles for eight pages before getting to the point. Topic sentences are your friend. Make sure the reader knows where each paragraph is going and how one related to the next. Include translations of quotations because no one likes That Guy who randomly sticks bits of Latin in the middle.

"Witty pun or quote: a well-used article title structure" is a legitimate approach to titling.

If you're currently a student, ask your supervisor if they'll read over your article. They might have suggestions for where you could send it, and they'll probably have useful comments.

I don't know if any of that's at all useful. I would say I'm very far from an expert on this front! My articles so far have been:

Adapted from a section of my undergraduate dissertation, but substantially expanded with new theoretical approaches and extra monsters; presented first in greatly abbreviated form at a conference (trans Cú Chulainn article)

More or less directly lifted from a chapter of my MA thesis, just with added introductory material and a few tweaks to make it stand alone; presented first at a conference (Láeg article)

An expanded version of a coursework project consisting of an edition, translation and commentary on a fragmentary text (7 Maines article)

All of them, as you can see, were adapted from work I'd done before, and two were given as conference papers to start with. So I don't have a lot of experience with starting from scratch.

A couple of years back I was googling and I did find a PDF designed for postgrad students that was all about adapting coursework into publications – I think it was from the University of Glasgow. I wouldn't have it to hand and I'm on mobile at present, but perhaps if you Google, you might be able to find something similar, and it might have more helpful advice than me!

#answered #linkedsoul #academia

[helluva-world-innit]

I want to keep this sideblog active even though it's taking me a long time to actually get the art done so I figured I'd make posts now and again not really to spoil anything but to just give some insight into my creative process and what I'm thinking when it comes to re-imagining the Helluvaverse. A sort of journal for Future Me as well as a creative accountability record for later, I guess.

To start, I'm going to talk about why I am choosing this universe to play with what with all the current information we have about the creators and with all the, frankly, much better universes to explore.

This got...really long. So, it's under a cut.

I Love Mess

Right out the gate, it's the flaws of these shows that fascinate me. As both a writer and someone who has always been interested in theology, I keep rotating them in my mind. They really are a perfect example of what not to do to keep people invested in the story you're trying to tell.

Hell...is not a new concept. Even outside of Christian doctrine, humans have had an afterlife responsible for untold suffering since time immemorial. Not even necessarily because we like the concept of people who have hurt/annoyed/ignored us getting their comeuppance someday* but simply because we are such complex creatures living such rich lives. The idea of that all being gone someday and never getting answers or knowing what our "score" was/how we ranked against others...it bothers us. It bothers us deeply. It bothers us even more if we think all the suffering we undergo in life is completely random and there is no rhyme or reason for it other than pure fucking chance.

So, we dig our little monkey claws into the idea there is something more than us and more than this. The eternal reward and the eternal punishment. Not all religions do this, but the idea is still deeply pervasive to the point where even the Modern New Age movement applies it despite claiming to operate outside of such restrictive binaries.

People already fear death. Add a spicy little bit of going to "the bad place" on top of that and you have power over their whole lives. And yet.

None of that depth is explored in the Helluvaverse. None that we have seen so far. And yes, I am including the Hazbin pilot in that. Why? As others have put it, why even have these shows take place in Hell at all? These could have taken place on an alien planet or in an alternate reality or utopia/dystopia. Not to compare apples to lemon meringue pie, but Nimona took place in an alternate universe with a utopia teeming with dystopian elements and is absolutely delightful, despite having a character that is totally okay with hurting others and mass destruction. Granted, it's a movie from a webcomic that is adapted for a much shorter runtime, but that...sort of makes it worse, actually.

If you can get your point across in far less time and still add so much fun and have relatable characters and story beats for an adult audience than the one with a wholeass webseries and (as far we still know) an incoming show with a moderately impressive studio...then I just don't know what to tell you.

2. I Saw The Angel Trapped In The Marble And I Grabbed A Sledge Hammer

Despite the above mini rant, I do think there is good to be found here. Actually, there's a lot of good here. Too bad we never get to sit with and explore it before we are rushed off to yet another plot thread or character introduction that goes the fuck end of nowhere. There are ways to do that sort of random humor that the creators are going for** but it does need careful and considerate handling and--pfffft-- that's totally not going to happen here. Also, if you want drama at the same time you want to just fuck around and make off-color jokes, what you end up getting is less people caring about the stakes set up and more...well...

Yeah. It has it's place but, uh...I don't think that's here. Even if it is, there is a way to do this and make it satisfying to an audience. A mature audience even, which for all that the team insists this is the audience they write for, there is a reason minors gravitate to it more. You really don't have to think much about anything onscreen or grapple with hard questions when watching. Other than 'wtf are they wearing?'

Not saying kids can't have complicated emotions or engage with material that forces them to think (they spend the majority of their day at a place designed to do exactly that until they are almost adults, I mean, think about it), but children are drawn to the taboo like moths to a candle. Doesn't matter if they get burned by it, they don't have the life experience to know how much it can hurt them yet.

I personally don't care about appealing to children. I can't promise this rewrite will appeal to an adult audience either, but I have certainly enjoyed researching things for it more than I have enjoyed the entirety of Helluva Boss S2 so far so do with that what you will.

3. The Circus Is In Town but I'm The Only Clown Here

I have a confession to make. I really, really, really, REALLY like clowns. And circuses. And clowns in circuses. No idea why. If I had to take a guess, The Big Comfy Couch and a circus I saw when I was really young set me on my way. I was also someone who dreamed of running away to a circus and becoming a clown like many kids who have no idea wtf they're on about. The bright colors, fun food, animals, and image of a bright and fun place that can just pop up anywhere and disappear when a town gets old or hostile? What's not to love?

A circus can also be used as a metaphor for a magical place outside of time where people either go to be entertained or tortured for however long it lasts. Plus, you have the long, real world history of circuses and traveling shows as being rife with exploitation and abuse while also providing a place of support and solidarity with the outcast members of society to take in consideration too. There are so many ways to make this work. In fact, many have! Have a list of other media that uses clowns and circus themes to talk about Hell and afterlife:

The Devil's Carnival

Homestuck and its spinoff game: Hiveswap

Insane Clown Posse

Spawn

Wendell & Wild

Honorable shoutout to the Cirque Du Freak book series. Not technically Hell related but the circus is still a prominent gateway to a supernatural underworld for the main character so it deserves a spot.

4. Have Ideas, Will Create

I am not the best at drawing. Not even in the third best place. I've stopped and started the process my whole life and really haven't progressed as much as I wanted to this year. Much as I hate to admit it, the Helluvaverse inspired me to give it an honest try since my writing skill is in a good place at the moment. Slowly, I've been practicing and making goals around my art and what I am creating both on a fan level and on an original level.

I want to keep getting better. While I'm dabbling in animation, I have never really told stories in a way that didn't solely rely on words. For the first time, I am honestly considering making the stories that have left me stalled out on the side of the novelist highway since I decided I wanted to be a writer into comics. Nothing outrageous or anything, I don't plan on quitting my day job but I would love to actually turn the stories in my head into more tangible shapes than just words one day.

Let's be real, I will probably never be able to retire, so this is definitely something I can work on while I'm struggling with a 9 to 5 I don't really care about and trying to survive. I figure the Helluvaverse gives me lots to play with and sharpen my skills on. Something that, even if it doesn't turn out all that great, then at least I had fun developing it and I got to learn and grow while making it. I have so many ideas and have already linked a lot of them together to start outlining and drawing up a fanon I can follow to keep things (hopefully) pretty consistent.

In Conclusion

I just finally feel like I'm at a place in my life where external pressure and art skill matter less to me than just making something. Anything. Making as much as I can to sort of make up for how much time I spent depressed and hating myself and convinced that Twilight was a good series (it's really not, from a writing standpoint. It's terrible.). Even if I never finish what I have planned, that I did anything at all is a feat. Lots of people say they can do better, but do they bother? In my experience, no. I want to be a botherer now.

*although, that is a big theme in the version of Hell Viv pulls from: The Divine Comedy a.k.a. Dante's Inferno. Seriously, give it a read sometime. It's laden with all kinds of 'you're here because you're ugly and i hate you' type sentiments

**Brandon Rogers actually knows how to do this. No idea where his writing chops go when it comes to HB, though. It's a niche sort of humor, true, but he reminds me of John Waters a lot.

#jack is wording again #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #long post #clowns #gifs #audio #video

[writing-in-mermish]

Austenland Fan-fiction concept

I recently read Shannon Hale's Austenland, which is very very similar to the movie (props for the accurate adaptation) except for one plot point in the beginning. Instead of her choosing to spend her own money to go to Austenland, her great aunt calls out her obsession and leaves her the trip in her will as a last hurrah or something.

This has it's own implications for her character and could be dissected how being given this experience vs seeking it out changes her character, but that's not what I'm here for. In between reading (and during, lets be honest) I started constructing a fan-fiction based off the book's inciting incident.

In possible subsequent years, and/or at a different estate (as the existence of other estates is established) a new outsider is gifted this vacation. An Ace girl working at a retirement home/community. Some of the ladies there have a Jane Austen fan/book club and she's introduces some modern adaptations and starts running a regency TTRPG for them.

They love romance and the regency era and love to share their past flings and romances and setting people up. They've tried to get our to share about her love life, but they're unsurprisingly disappointed with her lack of stories. They've tried to set her up with their grand kids/nieces/nephews but it always end s up in them just being friends (or her setting them up with her other people including each other).

She doesn't really protests because she knows that part of their motivation is just for more story fodder for her games. Plus, she's made a lot of cool friends this way. One of the ladies is particularly invested and has often been the person to sponsor the club and their games. After she passes away, our girl learns that she left her a trip to Austenland in her will, with a lovely note thanking her for being new life into their club and encouraging her to find her own story and bring it back to the club.

All of the ladies also encourage her to go, so she sets off. She's been to many renfairs, Society for Creative Anachronisms/other cosplay events and has done some historical costuming and role playing in the past so she's partially excited to see how this hard this place goes. She also is focusing on getting the inspiration to bring back, so she's brought a journal and pencil (that will fit the aesthetic of course).

While she's there she often finds herself snickering at the script or improve being done, and will "show up" the performers in flirting with them or the other guests. This behavior, paired with the note taking and question asking has led them to believe she's a reporter/journalist/reviewer and they need to up their game. They don't want another Jane incident on their hands.

Meanwhile, she's also struggling with mourning her friend and questioning whether it was a good idea to come or not. probably dissecting some sort of issue with not being able to deal with tough subjects in her own life but loving to play at them through fiction and games. (Giving a real Emma vibe to this story to parallel the books Pride & Prejudice thing, except sans romance).

She also becomes friends with another guest who is gay and was sent here by her rich parents as the weirdest version of conversion camp (like, your just not into the men you've met, but if you experience "the pinnacle of romance" through this you'll get over being gay). Obviously they hit it off in the friendship department and our girl is going to help her reach out to her girlfriend.

She concocts a scheme to invite her to the big ball so they can have their romantic moment (and possibly reconciliation due to "breaking up" before she got sent away).

I'm not sure what the big conclusion for her character arc is. Maybe, they figure out she's not a reviewer and offer her a job based off her skills, but she turns it down because she realizes that she already has somewhere she belongs? Maybe she does some big final tribute to her friend? Maybe she does have some romance with her "Mr. Knightly" character (though I'm less interested in this option)? Maybe she goes back and shares her experience with the ladies or at her friends grave and promises to remember their stories and cherish them just as they did Austen's work, even if they aren't as widely known or loved? Maybe some combination there of.

I don't know that I'll ever actually write this down in a more narrative fashion, but I thought I'd share it here anyhow.

#writing #fanfic #austenland #jane austen #asexual #aspec

[tolstoys]

It's been about 5yrs since I've done any real journaling here but I'm going to try to start again because it's important for my emotional wellness and because I want to start tracking my goals and life changes. I'm also going to start journaling my dreams again.

The last month of my life has been transformative for me. I've come to understand my attachment style and what that means and how to heal it and I've also come to an understanding of self love and how to execute it that I've never had before. I have made huge strides in changing my self concept and in taking better care of myself and enacting better habits. I am seeing myself as the person that I want to be and doing what I think she would be doing, and this is how I will become her.

Learning how to take care of myself has been a process and it's required a lot of grace for the past versions of me that were expected to know and never really taught. I'm working on self-parenting and viewing everything through the lens of how I would take care of my child and how I would treat my child rather than myself and I can see now that how things were before was unacceptable. I deserve better and I'm going to give myself better.

The 7 pillars of self care are:

Knowledge & Health Literacy

Mental Wellbeing

Physical Activity

Healthy Eating

Risk avoidance or mitigation Environment

Good hygiene

Rational and responsible use of self-care products & services Recreational / Social

I've been keeping up with regular doctor visits but I need to make an appt with my physician to get bloodwork done in order to have a hormone panel. I've been on depo every 11wks for over a decade and I'm not sure if I've ever had a hormone panel done so definitely need to do that. I also need to ask for scripts for my skincare things because I'm always breaking out.

I've been keeping up with therapy and I've followed a ton of psychologists and life coaches on youtube who were the catalyst for removing these psychological blockages I had by showing me what they were, how they were related, and how to heal them. Right now I'm focusing on healing my anxious attachment style, learning self love (including eliminating negative self talk and self punishing habits), and unlearning codependency. I am doing this through therapy, videos on youtube, and also a ton of books. I'm really trying to get back into reading.

I have been engaging in some form exercise nearly every day for a month now. I also accept doing strenuous chores as a form of exercise and part of my transformation has been overcoming physical pain and exhaustion in order to care for myself, largely by trying to provide a clean and happy living space, which has a lot to do with pillar 5. I have been reorganizing / paring down / and deep cleaning my house section by section and then this week I actually borrowed cleaning supplies from my dad and washed nearly the entire exterior of my home, which was extremely challenging to do. The goal is to do a little bit every day or almost every day, to build strength and endurance through this, and a healthy clean environment to live in. It's tough though because living with 2 dogs and a cat in a tiny home means it's kind of always dirty no matter how much I clean. But what matters is that I keep going and keep trying.

Skipping back a pillar, I have implemented a keto pescatarian diet and I'm working on keeping calories between 1200-1300/day with my macros at 100g of fat and 75g of protein. I started a food and exercise blog to track this daily. This is a challenge because prior to this journey I had no earthly idea how many calories were in anything, but I'm working really hard to figure it all out because I know I can and I want to feel better and have more energy and focus and also be earth shatteringly hot again.

Part of changing my self concept and increasing my physical activity and cleaning all the time has necessitated a lot of hygiene changes in my life. It's embarrassing to talk about but my eating and hygiene have always taken a backseat when I'm depressed or stressed and so making these things a priority has been a huge part of my transformation. I think once my dr takes a look at my hormones and I can get my skin under control, these will also make a huge difference.

Despite a ton of stress ongoing for 16+ weeks now regarding my job situation, I'm handling things really well and I'm making a strong commitment to self care before anything else. I've been doing really well with managing my anxiety and self-regulating my emotions. I've even started dating somebody, which is going really well and has been extraordinarily different than any other romantic relationship I've ever had. So that's good. I'm out here breaking patterns, altering behaviors, introducing good habits, and reframing my perspective.

#diary

[jscelucia]

Acting Journal 12

The concept was done. My intention for the performance was clear. So the next I did was script writing. As much as possible, I want my script to be something that is related to my life. That when I will show this performance to my family members, it might be a way for them to change their perspective on what I want them to understand. I made the settings futuristic, a couple of years after, under Marcos' administration.

The script I wrote was about the things my relatives scold me for being an activist. I also include what I learned from the Marcos' supporters regarding their envisions of Marcos' governance and the anti-Marcos anxieties. These helped me shape my setting for the performance. Some examples of situations I put in my performance are the militarization of the university campuses, the abduction of vocal critics and activists that are critical of the government, and the abolition of the free tuition law.

In the part where I call them out for being privileged, I also used figurative speeches, especially the imagery, to stimulate the spectator's senses. I emphasized the reality in the marginalized community that was being affected and oppressed by the ruling class yet they still choose to vote for the same person, the same family, the same abuser, and the same oppressor.

I visualized the performance as a monologue of a student being accused by the government force that he is allegedly connected to the communist party, inside the police station and taking his mugshot. I instructed my partner in the performance, Aaron Munar, to film himself as the same thing as mine but he should make a different script. I also asked my former classmate in senior high that could he help me with my performance, especially in positioning the camera, crafting the backdrop, and as my assistant.

For the lighting, luckily, I asked my mom to provide me ring light and stand because I really need them for my performances like this final output for Theatre 131.

In the venue where I film myself, I used the 3rd floor of the house. The house I am currently staying in is my grandparents' house. There is something that happened between me and my mom that is why I am staying here temporarily. I choose that because there is a wall that I think is perfect to place the backdrop.

The materials I bought for the backdrop were 3 sheets of cartolina, masking tape, and a marker. My assistant and I crafted the backdrop a night before we shoot the performance. We make sure that everything is set by putting marks in the center line of the small stage I will performing on and marks on each foot of the ring light's stand.

#theatre #theatre131 #digital theatre #preparation #behind the scenes #performance #scriptwriting

[pekoeboo]

Khalan's Journal (Entry #34)

Rating: T also on AO3 [prev]-[start]-[next]

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Day 162 – Evening

Sometimes I do not know what to do with Aya.

I found her at the edge of the lake earlier today kneeling beside a boat. Of course my first instinct was to ask her if she was planning on traveling, but as I drew closer, I noticed a lump of green in the middle of the small boat that she was interacting with.

The lump happened to be two giant turtles! Squished together with no space to move within the tiny confines of the crude, one-man craft! How she managed to capture the poor creatures, I have no idea. But they looked to be in absolute misery crammed against each other in such a manner. It is like a repeat of what happened with the barn all over again.

I get the impression that she was playing with them – much like a young girl would do with dolls. Only fragments of her convoluted love story were revealed to me, and I'm convinced that she was pretending the two turtles were becoming wed; as she was trying to force them to kiss each other.

When I brought up my concerns about their well-being, I was met with quick opposition. Aya claimed that they were happy together and that she had saved them by trapping them in the boat. I beg to differ. They do not look happy in the slightest.

She was offended at the prospect of me releasing them. I don't have the heart to go through with the idea now, as I do not wish to upset her further. In truth, she has been in a bit of a fragile mental state since the incident in the mineshaft, and I can't help but wonder if her more childish actions are a form of coping? It's difficult to tell.

But the fact of the matter is that I worry about crossing boundaries in how I deal with this kind of behavior. She is putting these poor animals in a situation they do not want to be in, but I can't seem to convey that to her without her disagreeing with me entirely.

What should I do? She doesn't see me as any sort of parental figure, so I don't feel like it's within my right to tell her what not to do. Do older siblings do that sort of thing? I'm not sure. I am afraid of overstepping boundaries in our relationship if I were to push the matter further. I do not want to come across as harsh or stern with her.

But it also deeply bothers me to see her treat animals in such a way as a result of her blissful naiveté, so I feel as though something must be done.

Oh, those poor turtles. They do not deserve such hell. There has to be something I can do to help them.

-----

Just a small disclaimer: Aya struggles with understanding animal behavior, as she lived on an alien space station before meeting the others in Drehmal. So even though she doesn't always seem to treat animals very well, she has no ill intentions and genuinely thinks that she's doing the right thing.

She'll learn eventually, though. It just might take some time. Fortunately, Khalan has a better understanding of how to tend to various animals, so he's typically the one taking care of their farm animals and any other pets on the property (including his cat Aakil, Lucy the llama, and the various fish that they have in the decorative pond outside the house).

#minecraft #mineblr #writing #text post #fanfiction #fanfic #oc #khalan #khalan al shariq #aya armas #cookieg122 #primordial smp #khalan's journal #this particular entry is based on when i logged into the server one time #and there were just. two turtles smashed together in a boat near the front of the house #and i was so confused like?? how did they get there #so it became a joke that the turtles were 'in love' but they just looked so miserable #and i figured that the concept needed to be included here in the journal as well lol

[dreamsmpimagnes]

can we get dream (prison arrrrc), phil, techno and ghostbur with a s/o whos very kind and considerate to pretty much everyone and comes across as a sort of parental/motherly figure to a lot of people? thank you <3

Sure! it's a tad bit angsty though, hopefully you don't mind too much

C!Dream, C!Ghostbur, C!Philza, and C!Technoblade With A Caring S/O

Dream • Prison Arc

At first he really took it for granted, your kindness and acceptance, the way you care and your tendency to stay beside him no matter the circumstance

Now that he’s locked in an obsidian cage, buried behind lava, he recognizes that

You, at the very least, visit him once a week, but it’s typically three or four times

Sam has gotten quite suspicious of you visiting him so often, labeling you a ‘high risk visitor’ but that still didn’t stop you, you weren’t trying to break Dream out, you were just doing your best at reminding him of who he was before all of this war stuff and that at least one person still loved him

He’d honestly hadn’t realized how touch starved he was really was for positive contact, so when you do something as simple as brush your hand on his arm, he gets goosebumps and melts into the fleeting sensation

Writes you things when you’re away since it’s really one of the only things he can do for you (gets quite frustrated when you can’t take them with you)

On a side note, he’s aware of what people say about you and how they think of you, the sympathizer of the villain, he hates the way your name is dragged through the mud because of him

Ghostbur

If we're being honest here, he thrives off of it all

The way you ask about his day and let him ramble on about his activities and the books he’s collected (him memory journal included)

The way you hold onto his tall, cold frame, pulling him close to your, by comparison, warm body

And most of all, he loves the way you pretend like he’s never been Wilbur, letting him disconnect himself from the man who blew up L’manburg, along with a positive piece of so many people

It’s all very cathartic, he barely needs any blue whenever you're around!

Truthfully, he hates being away from you because you’re so sweet, so he comes of as insanely clingy (or, I mean, is insanely clingy)

Has kind of moved into your house on accident, but you're probably chill about that, yeah?

Generally, though, he finds it endearing that you care about everyone

He also knows that if he ever needs somebody to watch or take care of friend for him, you're always one of the safer bets

Philza

Very happy!

Mainly because he’s just glad that there’s someone else who’s an adult adult, mature enough to look after other people and make sure they’re safe

He finds it exhausting to do it all by himself, so he’s incredibly thankful that you’re able to help

This old man here can actually quite reckless sometimes too, though, but mainly when it comes to flying

Sometimes he’ll race through treacherous ravines, dodging skeletons’ arrows, nearly skimming the surface of the bubbling magma, embers jumping up and touching his clothes and skin

Other times he’ll soar through the great, open winter air around the area where he lives, catching snowflakes on his dark grey wings, sometimes getting too caught up in the freezing winds and flying into an unexpected tree branch or cliff peak that was concealed by dense clouds (probably has broken a few ribs like that tbh)

It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, he’ll walk in sheepishly, and through labored breathing, explain what happened

Appreciates when you take care of him and will absolutely make it up to you

Technoblade

Your want to care and protect nearly everyone you know is so foreign to him

The way you’re insistent on bandaging him up regardless of the injury, whether it be a small scrape from hitting his hip on a desk corner or a giant gash from an axe is a level of caring that he’s never even given to himself, so someone giving that to him is such a new concept

He has mixed feelings about it all, honestly

On one hand, it’s wonderful to feel cared for

The way you hold his shaking, blood covered hands during an adrenaline drop after a particularly intense fight is one of the most gentle, warm things he’s ever experienced

On the other hand, though, it stresses him out

The voices swirling in his head nearly always bark demands and it seems like he’ll never be able to stop them unless he sheds blood, which means you’re far too good for him

Sometimes, though when the voices die down and all he can hear is your soft breathing and the wind pounding the shutters against the house, he allows himself to be loved and cared for

He feels normal during these times so he, quietly, cherishes them

#dream smp #dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #c!dream #c!dream x reader #ghostbur #ghostbur x reader #c!ph1lza #c!ph1lza x reader #c!techno #c!techo x reader #im a techno simp #thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[samwisethewitch]

Witchcraft and Activism

The word “witch” is a politically charged label. If we look at how the word was used historically, it referred to someone who existed outside of the normal social order. The people accused of witchcraft in the European and American witch trials were mostly — experts say between 75% and 80% — women. They were also overwhelmingly poor, single, or members of a minority ethnicity and/or religion. In other words, they were people who did not follow their society’s accepted model of womanhood (or, in the case of accused men, manhood).

If you choose to identify with the witch label, you are choosing to identify with subversion of gender norms, resistance to the dominant social order, and “outsider” status. If that makes you uncomfortable or uneasy, then you may want to use another label for your magical practice. Witchcraft always has been and always will be inherently political.

In her book Witches, Sluts, Feminists, Kristen J. Sollee argues that the “slut” label is in many ways a modern equivalent to the “witch” label. In both cases, the label is used to devalue people, most often women, and to enforce a patriarchal and misogynist social order.

Superstitions around witchcraft are connected to the modern stigma around abortion (and, to a lesser extent, contraception). Midwifery and abortion were directly linked to witchcraft in the European witch hunts. Today, women who seek abortions are condemned as sluts, whores, and murderers. The fight for reproductive freedom remains inextricably linked with the witch label.

During the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s, the socialist feminist group Women’s International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell (W.I.T.C.H.) used the image of the witch to campaign for women’s rights and other social issues. They were some of the first advocates for intersectional feminism (feminist activism that addresses other social issues that overlap with gendered issues). They performed acts such as hexing Wall Street capitalists and wearing black veils to protest bridal fairs. The W.I.T.C.H. Manifesto calls witches the “original guerrillas and resistance fighters against oppression.”

In her book Revolutionary Witchcraft, Sarah Lyons points out that both witchcraft and politics are about raising and directing power in the world. In a postmodern society, most of our reality is socially constructed — it works because we collectively believe it does. Money only has value because we believe it does. Politicians only have power because we believe they do. Our laws are only just because we believe they are. Like in magic, everything in society is a product of belief and a whole lot of willpower — and that makes witches the ideal social activists.

Lyons argues that witchcraft is inseparable from politics, because witches have always opposed dominant political power. She makes a connection between the witch trials and the rise of capitalism and classism. She connects the basic concepts of magic to historic activist groups like the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), who used ritual as an act of protest.

Not every witch is a hardcore activist, but every witch should have a basic awareness of political and social issues and be willing to do what they can to make a difference.

Ways to Combine Witchcraft and Activism

Perform a ritual to feel connected to the earth and her people. Activism should come from a place of love, not a place of hate. Make sure you’re fighting for the right reasons by frequently taking time to reconnect with the planet and the people who live here. This can be as simple as laying down on the ground outside and meditating on all the ways you are connected to other people, as well as to the ecosystem, animals, and the earth herself. If getting up close and personal with the grass and dirt isn’t your thing, try to find a beautiful place in nature where you can sit and journal about the interconnected nature of all things.

Unlearn your social programming. This is the most difficult and most important part of any activism. Before you can change the world outside yourself, you have to change your own psyche. Think about how you have been socialized to contribute to (or at least turn a blind eye to) the issues you want to fight against. For example, if you want to fight for racial justice, you need to understand how you have contributed to a racist system. You can do this in a variety of ways: through meditation, journaling, or divination, to name a few. Note that whatever method you choose, this will probably take weeks or months of repeated work. Rewriting your thought and behavior patterns is hard, and it can’t be done in a single day. Also note that if you are a victim of systemic oppression or prejudice, this work may bring up a lot of emotional baggage — you may want to involve a professional therapist or counselor.

Go to protests. Sending energy and doing healing rituals is great, but someone has to get out there and visibly fight for change. If you are able to do so, start going to protests and rallies for causes you care about. Don’t just show up, but be an active participant — make signs, yell and chant, and stand your ground if cops show up. Be safe and responsible, but be loud and assertive, too. If you want to go all out, you can don the black robes, pointed hats, and veils of W.I.T.C.H.es past, which has the added bonus of concealing your identity.

Turn your donations into a spell for change. When you donate to a cause you care about, charge your donation with a spell for positive change. You can do this by holding your cash, check, or debit card in both hands and focusing on your desire for change. Feel this desire flowing into the money, filling it with your determination. From here, make your donation, knowing that you’ll be sending an energy boost along with it.

Organize an activist coven. Do you have a handful of friends who are interested in witchcraft, passionate about activism, or both? Start a coven! Go to protests together, hold monthly rituals to raise energy for change, and collect money for donations. Being part of a group also means having a support system, which can help prevent burnout. Make a plan to check on each other regularly. You may even choose to do monthly group rituals for self care, which may be actual magic rituals or might be as simple as ordering takeout and watching a movie. Activism can be intensely draining work, so it’s important to take breaks when you need them!

Hold public rituals with an activist slant. Nothing gets people’s attention like a bunch of folks standing in a circle and chanting. Holding public rituals is one of the best ways to raise awareness for a cause. You might hold a vigil for victims of police brutality, a healing circle for the environment, or some other ritual that is relevant to the issue at hand. These rituals serve a double purpose, as they both bring people’s attention to the issue and give them an opportunity to work for change on a spiritual level. Use prayers, chants, and symbolism that is appropriate to the theme, and ask participants to make a small donation to a charity related to your cause.

Begin your public rituals with a territory acknowledgement. If you live in the United States, chances are you live on land that was taken from the native people by force. If you seek to have a relationship with the land, you need to first acknowledge the original inhabitants and the suffering they endured so you can be there. Use a website like native-land.ca to find out what your land was originally called and what indigenous groups originally lived there. Publicly acknowledge this legacy at your ritual, and publicly state your intention to support indigenous peoples. (Revolutionary Witchcraft has an excellent territory acknowledgement that you can customize for your area.)

Make an altar to your activist ancestors. If activism or membership in a marginalized group is a big part of your life, you may want to create a space for it in your home. Like an ancestor altar, this is a space to remember influential members of the community who have died. Choose a flat surface like a tabletop or shelf and decorate it with photos of your “ancestors,” as well as other appropriate items like flags, pins, stickers, etc. As a queer person, my altar to my LGBTQ+ ancestors might include images of figures like Sappho, Marsha P. Johnson, and Freddie Mercury, as well as items like a pink triangle patch, a small rainbow pride flag, and dried violets and green carnations. You may also choose to include a candle, an incense burner, and/or a small dish for offerings. Just remember to never place images of living people on an altar honoring the dead!

Do your research. Staying educated is an important part of activism — not only do your actions need to be informed, but you need to be able to speak intelligently about your issues. Read the news (on actual news websites, not just social media). Read lots of books; some I personally recommend are Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson, Love and Rage by Lama Rod Owens, and (as previously mentioned) Revolutionary Witchcraft by Sarah Lyons. If you can get access to them, read scholarly articles about theories that are influential among activists, like the Gaia Hypothesis or Deep Ecology. Read everything you can get your hands on.

VOTE! And I don’t just mean voting for the presidential candidate you like (or, as is often the case, voting against the one you don’t like). Vote for your representatives. Vote for city council. Vote for the county sheriff. Voting gives you a chance to make sure the people in office will be susceptible to your activism. Yes, your side might lose or your electoral college representative might choose to go against the popular vote. Even so, voting is a way to clearly communicate the will of the people, and it puts a lot of pressure on the people in charge. It’s important — don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

In my experience, combining activism with my witchcraft is a deeply fulfilling spiritual experience. It strengthens my connection to the world around me, with helps grow both empathy and magical power. I truly can’t imagine my practice without the activist element.

Resources:

Witches, Sluts, Feminists by Kristen J. Sollee

Revolutionary Witchcraft by Sarah Lyons

The Study of Witchcraft by Deborah Lipp

The Way of Fire and Ice by Ryan Smith

#baby witch bootcamp #THE FINAL BWB CHAPTER!!!! #baby witch #witchblr #witch #witchcraft #witchy #kristen j sollee #sarah lyons #deborah lipp #ryan smith #wicca #wiccan #pagan #paganism #norse pagan #norse paganism #black lives matter #pro choice #reproductive freedom #feminism #lgbtq+ #queer #protest #witchy activism #environmental #gaia hypothesis #deep ecology #long post #mine

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 3: Earthrealm

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Liu Kang x Reader or Kung Lao x Reader

Summary: You meet the mythical Lord Raiden. He reminds you of your dad, but nicer, oddly enough. Liu Kang might also be your new best friend.

A/N: Thanks again everyone! This has been such fun. I meant to say earlier that this takes place a couple years prior to the film (also that I know a bit about MK as a game series, so I will include tidbits here and there if I can). ALSO! I am open to any suggestions that you may wish to see throughout this story- either for Liu Kang or Kung Lao. I can't guarantee I will use them but I will consider them. I am delighting in writing this!! EDIT:: lol why did no one tell me there were so many errors in this one. All fixed!

The Beginning << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

The days that followed were a struggle. Monks would visit and care for your wounds at all hours of the day. You were in and out of consciousness. When you did manage to stay awake, you would meditate and do simple exercises to keep your body strong. That was a struggle in itself. Wounds needed rest to heal but you refused to become weak to them in the meantime. You were ready to fight.

Without fail Liu Kang would visit every evening. He brought books for you to read together. On his second visit he gifted you with a crudely bound leather journal and a pen to take notes with. You were inquisitive and Liu Kang was a wealth of knowledge. On nights where you finished a book or a lesson early, you would meditate together. Other nights you would chat and often times those chats would end in swapping personal stories. You had become fast friends.

You kept a calendar in the back of the journal. Liu Kang helped account for the time that you’d lost to unconsciousness. A week had passed since you’d woken up in Raiden’s Temple. You circled the x over the day and wondered where Kung Lao was. You’d asked around about him but had been told that many of the Earthrealm warriors were often absent. Apparently, he was frequently gone for long stretches of time. Many of the monks left on lengthy errands. Mortal Kombat and the protection of Earthrealm extended far beyond China. You wondered how much of the world Kung Lao had seen. You’d barely ever left your hometown for anything other than martial arts tournaments.

“Miss Y/N?” A monk pulled aside the sheet that had been pinned around the doorway of the small closet-sized space that had become your semi-permanent dwelling. You offered the monk a tired smile and gestured to allow him to enter. The monk bowed politely. “Your presence has been requested by Lord Raiden.”

“Oh?” You had known that you would meet with the man who the temple belonged to eventually. Liu Kang had told you that you would be summoned only after you’d been deemed well enough. You hadn’t passed out in exhaustion for the last 48 hours so you supposed this was as good a time as any. “Give me a moment to change, if you will.”

“Yes, of course Miss Y/N.” The monk bowed and left you with some privacy. You’d grown accustomed to the dressing gowns. They were comfortable and since you didn’t move around much, they worked. You’d been given several lightweight gi for future training and several hanfu, traditional Chinese garments, to wear if you desired. You wished, more than anything, that you’d gotten to pack some of your things before everything had gone to hell. No t-shirts or tank tops. No jeans or leggings. Not even any cute summer dresses. But you were grateful to have anything.

You changed into the soft blue and white hanfu that had become your favorite. It was simpler in design than the others but still long and flowing. You didn’t need anything terribly fancy to have a conversation with someone. You were sure that if Lord Raiden expected you to dress up then you would have been warned. Considering that Liu Kang rotated through the same three tattered gi and was almost always covered in soot, you doubted there was a strict dress code.

After you changed, you pulled your hair up lazily with a set of chopsticks. Then you returned to the monk who was waiting for you in the hall. The monk bowed again and then led you through the halls of the temple. The floor you’d been on had very few windows and only in the hallways. You followed the monk up several ramps and flights of stairs. Endless halls branched in every direction making the whole place seem labyrinthian. You were certain that you could spend weeks exploring the halls and still manage to miss things.

If the monk hadn’t been leading you then you wouldn’t have been able to resist your curiosity. After a good thirty minutes spent walking, you were led into a dark hallway with a rounded ceiling. It disappeared into the distance lit only by odd white statues that stood in a line along its center. The monk bowed and gestured down the hall.

“Good luck, Miss Y/N.” The monk then left you alone. You approached the glass statues in the center of the hall and found their insides sparking with electricity. They were funny in that they reminded you of a sophisticated and silent Tesla coil that fired constantly. Below the frosted glass you could see currents of electricity flowing almost as you imagined lightning would through the clouds. Your fingers brushed curiously over the glass.

“Miss Y/N?” A commanding and deep voice called from the end of the hall. You felt like a child who had disobeyed your teacher and winced. You hurried down the hall as quickly as your legs would allow then bowed before entering the room at its end.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t seen much outside of the infirmary. I was fascinated.”

The man who stood before you was of average build and height, his face mostly obscured by his hat. You grinned in surprise and recognition but then quickly fought to hide your glee. Raiden’s expression was severe, reminding you very much of your father and the way he’d glare at you when you’d said something un-lady-like as a child.

“There is much to discuss.” He gestured for you to take a seat on the floor in front of where he was seated with his legs crossed so you did. Much to your surprise, he was floating several inches off the ground and while you tried to hide your shock, you were sure your eyes had gone wide. “I am Lord Raiden; the protector of Earthrealm.”

“It’s an honor to meet you. Liu Kang has told me a little about you.”

“I am not surprised.” Raiden had a commanding voice as well as presence so you listened attentively. He explained the nature of other realms though he didn’t go terribly in depth with their origins or existence. Outworld was their greatest opposition with the desire to control earth and humanity. They were brutal warmongers from how Raiden described them. He then explained the tournaments and how if Outworld won a tenth tournament they could lay claim to Earthrealm.

Shang Tsung, a powerful sorcerer, would lead his armies there and take humanity as slaves. You didn’t ask but you wondered if Shang Tsung was the ruler of Outworld. You figured that if it were important then Raiden would tell you. He went on to tell you that Outworld had done this before with other realms and they had been devastated into waste.

Raiden spoke in a way that made it seem as though he had lived through countless lifetimes. While his tone often sounded severe, he also spoke with great purpose. “Our next tournament will not be for a few more years. You are one of Earthrealm’s chosen warriors.” Raiden’s lecture was winding down. “Do you have any questions?” You had known much of what Raiden had taught you that day but still sat patiently through it.

“I think I understand. If I have any questions later then I can ask Liu Kang. It’s difficult for me to wrap my mind around this craziness, for lack of a better word. He’s been very patient with me. The idea of arcana and how I’m meant to fight warriors from another world is still wild to me but I understand the concept. I think with time and practice I will be better off.” You stifled a giggle and then cleared your throat to stop any further giggles from escaping.

“Is there something you find funny?”

Guilt again. The kind you’d felt exclusively around your parents.

“You’re the man with the funny hat.” Your cheeks burned when he seemed affronted by your description of him. “I don’t mean to come off as rude! Forgive me. My shop is on the edge of town and there are many travelers passing through. I remember you from one of those visits. You chose your words carefully and spoke very little. You required precious stones and, as I often do, I made polite small talk. I asked what you needed them for and you said in the protection of Earthrealm which you quickly corrected to the protection of nature. You opened my eyes long ago to the secrets of the world though I was doubtful there was any truth to it until now.”

Raiden’s expression shifted and he seemed pleased but he was also difficult to read. You hoped he was pleased. Despite his severe and intimidating presence, he seemed well meaning.

“I don’t recall this instance but am happy to learn that there are those who learn the truth without panic or dismissal.”

“So, I have to fight then.”

“More than fight. You must find your arcana so that you may stand a chance against the warriors of Outworld. They are ruthless and possess skills that may seem impossible to you. Without your arcana you will not stand a chance.”

“How do I do that? Find my arcana, I mean.”

“Through trial and adversity. Everyone is different. Your arcana is unique to you.” Raiden stood and so you did the same. “Your training will begin tomorrow.”

You weren’t sure you were ready for that but you bowed respectfully. That was tomorrow’s problem. “Thank you. I promise to work my hardest.”

Raiden said nothing but didn’t look as though he quite believed you capable. You had long ago stopped seeking the approval of others. Actions spoke louder than words and you would do as you promised. Raiden turned from you without another word. You waited for an awkward moment to be dismissed then turned and left. You chose not to linger in the hall with the pretty lightning sculptures that had distracted you earlier.

The path back to the infirmary wasn’t easily found and you wandered aimlessly for a time before asking a monk to help you back to the infirmary. You were exhausted. Upon arrival you closed the curtain to your tiny room and sat on the edge of your bed. Your arms were aching. You were sore and tired. Gravity didn’t agree with your healing wounds. Training was going to be a bitch but you would be better for it.

Retrieving the journal Liu Kang had given you, you made yourself cozy after rekindling the flame of your lantern. You went over the notes from the day before and smiled. Your handwriting was often sandwiched between his. You’d had a difficult time holding a pen for the first few days and your handwriting was atrocious. There had been times where you’d been too dazed with exhaustion so Liu would take over and explain what he was writing down. He was incredibly considerate.

You drifted to sleep leaning against the wall behind your narrow bed, book in your arms. In your very brief dreams you’d been seated with a young Kung Lao in the field outside of your grandparents’ farm. The more you remembered of him the more you could see the man he’d grown up to be.

A knock against stone startled you awake and you jumped upright. Standing in your doorway, peering through the curtain was Liu Kang. He seemed surprised.

“Did I wake you?” He stepped inside and closed the curtain behind him for privacy. How long had you slept? Crap.

“What time is it? Did I sleep through training?”

“No.” He laughed and it was a welcome and comforting sound. “It’s quite late but I was busy today and had no time until now. I wished to see you before bed.” He spoke of you with such fondness that if you hadn’t been half asleep then you probably would have blushed. You adjusted yourself and made room for him to sit next to you on the bed as you often had while reading. He joined you gratefully. You watched as he brushed his thumb over the prayer beads that often went from wrapped around his wrist to his palm and back again. “Tomorrow is going to be difficult, Y/N.”

You guessed that he would be the one training you. He was one of the only warriors with the marking that stayed in Raiden’s Temple besides Kung Lao that you knew of.

“Promise not to pull any punches, okay?”

“I knew you would say that.” He nudged your shoulder with his.

“I mean it, Liu. It’s been over two weeks since this happened. I’m ready to fight. If I’m going to survive all of this… otherworldly supernatural nonsense then I have no choice. Besides that… I want to do this. I want to fight.”

“I need you to promise to be safe.”

“That’s very sweet, Liu, but I’m a fighter. I’ve been fighting for years. I’m ready to help and more importantly, I’m ready to feel strong again. This thing with the poison and my arms? It’s taken a toll on me. I need to be okay.”

“I understand, I think.” He slipped the beads back around his wrist and caught a glimpse of the journal that you’d fallen asleep holding. Then he looked back toward the door. He was nervous. You could feel it.

“Are you okay, Liu?”

“I’m fine.” He picked up the journal and tapped the pages. “Would you like to study?”

“Can’t sleep, can you?”

“Oh, right. It’s late. I apologize. I woke you. I should let you rest.” He stood, bowed, and then turned to leave. Without thinking, you grabbed his hand. If your arms hadn’t been aching, you would have pulled him back to you. Liu Kang was very aware of the strain that it would put on you to pull so he stopped dead in his tracks. He was always aware of what was going on around him and your aching arms appreciated that more than ever.

“You can stay. We can keep reading. I’d like that.” You insisted. Liu Kang smiled and so you let go of his hand, realizing that you’d been holding it for perhaps too long. He grabbed a hefty book that had been resting beneath your side table. You’d made your way a quarter through it over the past few days. Then you sat together, leaning against the wall. He read to you and his soothing voice nearly lulled you back to sleep. It provided you with a sense of security you hadn’t felt in a long time. Studying with him, even in your worst moments of pain, had become a fond memory.

The words were familiar and so you snapped one eye open. “We already read this.” You waited for a pause in his natural cadence.

“No, we did not.”

“We did, look.” You pointed to your journal and the scribbles in it from the night before. Your handwriting really was terrible. You could make out bits and pieces of it. Liu had the patience of a saint for trying to decipher it. He squinted at the letters.

“I can’t read that. No one can read that, Y/N.” He tapped the page you had pointed to. “That could say almost anything. Are you bored with the history of the Wu Shi Academy?”

“No! We were just further along than this, that’s all. Look, just…” You shoved the journal in front of the book and he laughed. His laugh was sweet and filled with warmth. “I think that this is highlighting this passage here about the foundations and the energy wells beneath it…”

“You can’t possibly read that. We have established that it’s gibberish.”

“I wrote it! I can sort of make out little bits…”

“We have to work on your penmanship, Y/N.”

“I got all sliced up where the tendons and stuff are. They’re still healing!” You whined and then pouted. Liu took the journal and set it on the bed just beyond your feet. You reached past him and turned the pages of the book, searching for the next chapter. “At least get to the part with the arena. You promised that we would learn about that next. You went on and on about it.”

“I did no such thing. You can admit that you’re bored.” Liu teased. You flipped the pages again without his permission so he tried to tug the book away and you jolted to the side with him, hair falling into your face, chopsticks now useless. Much to your surprise, as you righted yourself, Liu helped you and pushed your messy hair away and tucked some of it behind your ear. Your laughter subsided and you avoided his eyes as his admired you. You swore your heart skipped a beat. “Your hair.” He brushed a few strands between his thumb and forefinger.

“Oh?” You dared to look into his dark eyes that were rivers of thought and emotion. You had no aspirations of unraveling them. You liked their mystery.

“The color.”

“Oh, yeah… I uh… I haven’t been able to keep up with dye here and it’s naturally white.” You pointed to the roots that had begun to show.

“White? That’s peculiar.”

“Wow, thanks. Yeah, I know it’s weird.”

“I didn’t mean any offense. It looks nice.” He seemed to realize that his hand was very much still in your hair. His tongue ran nervously over his lower lip while he was lost briefly in thought before he pulled his hand back. “We’ll read about the arena but only because you have chosen to entertain me at a late hour instead of turning me away.”

“And because you realized I was right.” You joked but your stomach was very much in knots. This was no time to be feeling butterflies in your stomach but there they were. Liu Kang made you feel butterflies. Literal butterflies. You hadn’t understood that idiom until now.

“There will be a test, Y/N.” He joked and smoothed out the pages of the book. You retrieved the journal and pen but had given up on writing notes for the night. Your arms were still aching and you were drained. Liu delighted in sharing a map of the ancient arena and reciting battles that he’d won and lost there. His voice was a soothing and familiar drone and before you realized it, you were falling asleep, head falling against his shoulder.

Instead of leaving you there to sleep, Liu Kang continued to read. Sometime later you woke up and the flame in the lantern had gone dim. Liu was still seated next to you, his head now rested atop yours. From his soft, slow breaths, you guessed that he had fallen asleep too. The book was rested neatly on top of your journal as if he had made the decision to put it aside and stay. You should wake him and send him back to his room. He would be more comfortable there. Selfishly, you wanted him to stay. He’d chosen to stay so you decided to let him have his choice.

For the first time since you’d woken up in Raiden’s Temple, you went to sleep feeling secure and comfortable.

Next Chapter >>

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