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#paranoia
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It’s hard knowing that there’s a chance that we will never meet another person with DID and connect to them on a proper emotional level (irl that is, I think the old mutual trauma has prevented us from making friends online), but there’s also a major fear of that the people who may have DID could potentially be dangerous/toxic/abusive people in our life. The annoying part is we project our shit onto other people because that’s how people operate (I think?) and we get incredibly afraid whenever the people we don’t want to empathize with show ‘symptoms’ like us
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Little Steps
For the past 6-9 months I haven’t been able to go to bed by myself. It’s pretty fucking embarrassing. My boyfriend has had to go to bed when I go to bed or I just stay in the living room. My paranoia is just really bad. I have a very vivid imagination and I see things happen in my head. It’s mostly this girl I see hiding in my room, bathroom, closet, or crawling down the stairs. I could go on forever about my paranoia's.
My point is last night I went to bed by myself. It wasn’t easy, I constantly wanted to go upstairs and sleep on the couch by my boyfriend. Somehow I distracted myself enough to fall asleep. I’m pretty proud of myself
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pmak2002 · 14 hours ago
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Nobody drinks alone
Keith urban be here 2004
You brought that bottle home in a paper sack
Drew the blinds and locked the doors
And there's nothing but empty there inside that glass
So you pour a little more
And there's no one there to judge you
At least that's what you tell yourself, but
[Chorus:]
Don't you know
Nobody drinks alone
Every demon, every ghost
From your past
And every memory you've held back
Follows you home
Nobody drinks alone
You remember whiskey on your daddy's breath
So you always stick to wine
And you scared your little brother half to death
You just kept it all inside
You can hear your mama cryin'
Only now she cries for you, and
Don't you know
Nobody drinks alone
Every demon, every ghost
From your past
And every memory you've held back
Follows you home
Nobody drinks alone
Though you're lonely
Hey don't you let that feelin' fool ya
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Nobody drinks alone
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/keithurban/nobodydrinksalone.html
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adribosch-fan · 16 hours ago
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El año de los marmotas | Seúl
El año de los marmotas | Seúl
La suba en los casos de Covid está generando la misma paranoia que el año pasado, aunque ahora existen las vacunas. Hay que enfocarse en ese remedio y no en el de las restricciones, que ya ha fracasado. Por GUSTAVO NORIEGA Lo es exactamente una pesadilla sino más bien un sueño incómodo y perturbador: esa imagen recurrente en la que nos encontramos ya adultos, pero en el colegio porque debemos…
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riguardomarte · 18 hours ago
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I'm writing once again a diary, hope it's not going to be a pathetic collection of boring complaints
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koogl001 · 18 hours ago
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Tender Mind - Chapter 18
Yandere Geralt of Rivia x Reader Rated: M Masterlist
The noise coming from behind the door didn’t help my headache at all. I couldn’t for God’s love remember what happened before I fell asleep. Or did I pass out? Anyways, I just woke up from mu slumber.
“-ever this bad. I have no idea wh-“
I heard bits of conversation. I got up and went to the door.
“-en was the last time something like this happ-“
What are they talking about? I reached for the door know.
“I don’t quite recall... Must have been a real long time ago.”
I twisted it.
“Is it some kind of a curse maybe?”
I pushed them open. Looking around I spotted a small table with a few chairs by it. The occupants of these chairs were well known to me. Walking over to them, a sudden wave of nausea hit me hard. Gripping my stomach, before I could fall to the ground a pair of arms hoisted me up, helping me over to a chair.
“Thank you.”
I said to Wendy, who now stood by me, probably to make sure I am well. Wendy, Ann, Vesemir, … wait, is that all? I mean, where is Geralt? And that beautiful lady from before… Before? My headache got stronger. A tsunami of pain washer over me, making me curl into a ball. Something flashed before my eyes… a memory? A man, tall and well dressed. I feel like I’ve seen him before, but where could that possibly be? He was reaching to me, a smile plastered on his face. Fake.
“(Y/N)!”
A hot sensation spread thru my cheek. What? I was struck?
“(Y/N), are you alright? You suddenly started holding your head, curled and weren’t responding to anything we did or said!”
I let go of my hair, noting that my hold was so strong I managed to tear some of it out. The locks now falling to the ground.
“I’m sorry.”
I mumbled. Taking a cup in front of me I sipped on the beverage in it. No idea what it was, but it was delicious.
“(Y/N), do you remember what happened?”
Vesemir leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. I told him that I retreated into my room after not feeling well. Unconsciously, me hand reached to tuck the hair that was falling in my face, but I felt something covering my face. I felt the material more. A piece of clothing?
“What’s this?”
How could I not realize? There was something covering my eye. How have I not realized it till now? Maybe because I was confused, or adrenalin pumping thru my veins made me clueless to this or something like this?
“You really don’t remember, do you?”
I shook my head.
“(Y/N), you tried to gouge your eye out.”
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daddyjudas01 · 22 hours ago
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Obfuscate
i know they can hear me my every thought on display there are no secrets my lips sputters in circles i am crucified by their influence pinned to the wall by probing eyes my skin is no longer my own the maggots squirm beneath spinning, turning, revolving words pour like acid into my mind i'm losing myself and they know it poison, poison everything is evil even god speaks only malice my reflection speaks only in riddles everything screams insults words dripping into my ears filling me with their venom corroding my will
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durbison · 23 hours ago
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I will be super paranoid any time I follow someone and go through their blog, liking and reblogging a bunch of stuff, thinking they’ll think I’m weird. But whenever someone does that to me I just think “oh nice, someone enjoys what I enjoy”. So I think I’m just going to stop worrying about being judged for what I wouldn’t judge others for.
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doomhope · a day ago
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i do hope any US citizens on here realize that any threats made towards public officials and any discussion of doing certain crimes, joking or not, are all monitored by the fbi which could result in some serious consequences for you if you are ever caught (or framed for) doing something illegal or aiding someone else in doing something illegal. the content might not get removed from tumblr, but it sure as hell will get you put on a list, or worse!
anyway, here are some ways to convey fun (and, of course, completely fictional) stories without getting put on a list:
"i wanna vandalize his house in minecraft"
"one time i had a dream where someone stole a riot shield"
"i heard that someone threw a firecracker into the building that night, and then ran off to do more damage elsewhere"
"im reading a book where the main character spray paints over a security camera"
"wow it would be so wild if someone vandalized that statue downtown using paint and a sledgehammer"
and so on.
seriously, when you're online (and tbh almost everywhere else too) never talk about yourself in direct or indirect involvement with something illegal, and never talk about wanting to do something illegal, or else the feds will have to assume you're not a law abiding citizen. we wouldn't want them thinking that, now would we?
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royalreef · a day ago
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@biteyourcrush​ replied to your post: 
"I swear to god- I *SWEAR* to GOD- I am *not.* Trying. To steal. Your life! I do not want it! It is perfectly suited for you and you only! I have my OWN life that I am ABSOLUTELY OKAY WITH." -Hope Halko
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      “But you ARE! And I know you are, you just thought that I would not find out so you are lying to try and cover it up!!! Of COURSE you would try and deny it all!”
      For someone slinging such accusations Hope’s way, Miranda is really just... puffing herself up as big as she can and trying to back away like a frightened animal. Outright rebuttals really aren’t going to help here.
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This is the embodiment of my paranoia. I call it Mr. Memee.
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royalreef · a day ago
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@candyredmuses​ replied to your post:
HOW DOES IT FEEL--
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      “It feels very much like that one wretched creature who has infiltrated the Coven in an attempt to flay my skin from my flesh and wear it about as a false image of myself to all of my friends, family, and fellow royals and ruin all that I care so dearly about!”
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laughingdarkdreams · a day ago
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Horror writing
Psychological horror below
They say that in this world, there are no monsters out there in the dark. That the supernatural is far away, and that we are safe from the monsters, because they were never there in the dark. There are monsters in the dark though. They hide there, dreaming, trying to claw their way out. Trapped in endless hunger. Maybe, at one point, they were out there in the night. It is possible that we drove them away, the lights in our homes, the endless vigilance of our watch, it gave them nowhere to hide, and so they ceased to exist. I think they found somewhere else to hide. Somewhere darker than the darkest nights. Somewhere they didn't even need their greatest weapons anymore. No need for the supernatural, no need to hunt anymore. They went somewhere darker. They say that in this world, there are no monsters out there in the dark. That the supernatural is far away, and that we are safe from the monsters. They don't know where the monsters hid though. They clawed into our chests while we slept. Found their way into our heads, grinding their teeth through our skulls, screaming, crying, wishing for nothing more, than a darker place to hide, and for that dark to spread, and be free.
I think it is time for us to remember. How many people do you pass by each day? Do you know how many of them have blood on their hands? The demons they are dreaming? What do you think is possible in this day and age? The age where everybody can be seen on cameras anywhere they go. There are other questions to be asked though. Why do you think anybody is watching? What do you really know? What do you think is really possible? Does your neighbors house have power? Have you looked out of your window at night and noticed that their lights weren't on? They might never pay their electric bill. They might live with no lights, no sounds. They might just sit there, in their dark living room, quietly. Just sitting and watching the windows, watching the small movements they can find, anywhere they can find them. They might be sitting there, staring at your house every day. Watching for you to pass by your windows or for lights to turn on in different rooms. Of course, you don't think this is possible. You don't think this is likely. It isn't. Of course it's not. It could be though. It is because you cannot imagine it that it is not true to you. How could it be? Why would it be? Aren't they normal? Aren't they the same? But somewhere out there, there is someone. Someone who just watches people, quietly. Someone who sits down, stares out of windows, and watches. Maybe, one day, it won't be enough anymore. They'll do something. It doesn't matter what. They are out there, somewhere, and someday they will do something. They might stand at your window instead of theirs. They might break into your house. They might find you. How can you say this person definitely doesn't live next door? Do you know your neighbor? This is what a monster is. Something that hides in the darkest place it can. We just prefer not to think about it. Tell ourselves it will never happen to us. That nothing is there in the dark, when it is. People go missing every day, people are murdered every day. Sometimes those murderers go free. Sometimes they only kill one time ever, hide the bodies deep, and never say a thing. Could it be your teacher? Your friend? Your father? Your cashier? Any one of them could be that person.
The supernatural, the other monsters, might be the same way. Nobody hears about it, nobody tells others about it. People say the supernatural cannot be real, because it has never been found. They say that something would have happened, that there would be a survivor, a witness, a sign of it. The truth is, there are many things we do not know. There are people who claim to have seen things, but cannot prove it. How could they? It was there, and then it was gone. It was something that only lasted a moment, it was something that was big, unexplainable. It was something that was probably just their imagination. They still remember though, these things that everybody says didn't happen. The time they woke up and saw something in the dark. The time they heard strange noises. The time they felt something wrong. The moments of deja vu and the chill down their spine as they waited for something that never happened. They take these moments and lock them away, keeping them only as stories, keepsakes to tell people that they know will not believe them. Who is to say these things are isolated? Who is to say that they aren't in a basement beneath the local library? Or that they aren't at the sewer pipe at the edge of town? If it's possible to see them at home, why can't you see them in the woods? Why can't you see them on the second floor of the office at night? Do you see them there? If you can see something, even if only once or twice, how can you say it's not real? Have you ever dug beneath your house, just to make sure there was nothing there? Gone to the graveyard at night and listened closely? Maybe you have. You can't do that for every house though. Not every house, not every graveyard, not every minute of every hour. You can only tell yourself that it was your imagination, that when it happens, it was just a moment of confusion, that it was something psychological, as opposed to physical, no matter what you saw or felt or heard. Is it really not there though? Can you really, absolutely say that for certain?
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journalformycptsd · a day ago
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it’s not that i think you, of all people, would hurt me. it’s that i’ve learned to believe that anyone is capable of anything if they’re mad enough.
(i still don’t know if that’s true or not.)
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giraffefeather · a day ago
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Anyone else get real serious about building their mind palace after reading Stephen King? Cause I built a lovely little place after reading Stephen King's Dreamcatcher because I truly believed that would be the only way to keep myself safe from someone or something entering my mind and taking over me piece by piece.
No? Just me. No other bookworm nerds with both a hero complex and crippling anxiety/paranoia?
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