i miss whenblake would semblance spam
1 ngày rất buồn của gia đình mình.
Chỉ có thể kể ra được như vậy.
May là mình vẫn còn động lực để tiếp tục sống làm chỗ dựa cho người khác.
Sau hôm nay, mình thấy mình mạnh mẽ hơn mình tưởng rất nhiều.
Chỉ có dũng cảm đối mặt, thẳng thắn đối thoại thì mới có thể chấm dứt đc mọi nỗi sợ hãi hay khổ đau.
Ko thì mỗi ngày sẽ phải chịu đựng những nỗi đau dai dẳng, cả ng có lỗi và ko có lỗi.
Đó là bài học xương máu mà mình đã rút ra đc.
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for breakfast i had an apple and half cup of coffee cus it tasted really bad,
then i binged on cereal😪 and purged afterwards
for dinner i had fries, barbecue and ice cream, (sadly purged that too) i had a little chocolate and thought i could keep it in but sadly purged it too. also had a sauna and sweated a lot
now i’m trying to take a nap and just relax
She forces me to share my glass of water with her after she's eaten a bunch of raw wild garlic. 😒
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I like how I was hanging out with 4 other white appearing individuals and restaurant staff discriminated against me for being a brown girl by separating my order from theirs first of all not everyone was even white there was a gay non binary male identified Jewish person, a two spirit indigenous Latina who was pale skin, and two bi cis white men and me the bisexual non binary femme brown girl and they thought I couldn't possibly be with my light skin friends cause of my skin color and separated our order wow
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This is just me being a bit of a downer for a minute, and I'll delete it in like 5 minutes when I feel completely embarrassed and regret posting lol.
I just feel, like, I'm terribly unlikeable. I know I'm a bit unconventional, and I'm shy, and I know many people find those things off-putting. And I've never fit in, and I'm just getting really tired of it.
I grew up being bullied and learned not to fear being different, because nobody was going to accept me regardless of what I did. Be yourself, and the right people will find you. But I'm almost 30 years old now, and I feel lonely. I want to share my life with others.
I currently have one friend in my life, and I care about her a lot, but we are very different people, and while I'm perfectly okay with that, those feelings of knowing I don't quite fit in with her are there.
Maybe I'm not as unlikeable as I feel, but if so, then why do my conversations end with me waiting for a reply that never comes? Why don't people like the same things I do? Am I too much of a girly-girl, or am I too much of a tomboy? I'm too old to be feeling this way. It's childish. But here I am. Lonely. Hoping that, at the very least, when I make a post on my blog someone out there will find it and like what I'm posting enough to stick around.
in the suburbs! went for a run this morning, finished this book(I’m going feral if AWTWB doesn’t have a happy ending) and now I’m writing, vaping, and drinking coffee in the deck! feeling like peace of mind is attainable for once.
Brushed my teeth
Woke up with a terrible migraine
Managed to snack and take my day meds
Had to take a nap for hours
Worried about finishing a prospective job assignment (didn’t even start)
Ufff horses walk so elegantly.
If only I could own one someday, yup that would be nice.
tw//alcohol, addiction, suicide
two years ago my aunt overdosed and nearly died. she was fine for a while, this week we found out that she had been sneaking drinks & pain meds... now if she stops drinking and goes full Turkey, she could die from a seizure...
today she rang my day up saying she’s really struggling and I’ve been really worrying about it sm today (I was distracted at work and ppl were talking about drinking and it was just :/ )
I wasn’t to message her but I don’t want to trigger anything, idk it’s so difficult rn. my dads really worried and upset, he hides it well, but he keeps saying she’s going the same way their mum went
I’m sorry to those who read this and felt triggered; I just needed to speak into the void and get it off my chest
it’s so funny when ppl with like 5894302 callouts keep coming back to tumblr but they dont change anything its like still obviously them . r u just trying to get more
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can’t believe im a he/they 17....................
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If anyone is interested, please click this group chat! I'll try to be on and available daily!
new haircut 🤸♀️
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Journal Entry 8
It has been a long day. Matt and Jonas have still not returned with Scat. I am keeping my fingers crossed that Scat is doing fine and that he didn’t get caught by the Central goons. Tony, he is still recovering. We are still taking turns looking after him. He is not taking in a lot of fluids but his color is improving slightly. We held elections today. Pete will take over as the man in charge of security. He has started looking for people to fill the deputy positions.
2~3週間ほど肌寒い日が続いて、今日やっとちょうどいい陽気の一日になった。午後から近所を散歩したが、日差しも空気も心地よかった。先週は風邪をひきかけた。ひきかけの段階で気づいて処置をしてこじらせずにすんだ。ジュネの恋する虜を久しぶりに本棚から取り出してぱらぱらと頁をめくっていた。ちゃんと読むには今は時間がない。他にピンチョン、プルーストを読みたいが時間がない。時間がないときに限って大作を読みたくなるのは、作品世界をバリケードにして立て籠もりたいということ。カトリーヌ・マラブーの「真ん中の部屋 ー ヘーゲルから脳科学まで」を本屋で立ち読み。千のプラトーのやばいところを引用しているのを見つけて買ってしまった。やばいところというのは「物理学者たちは言う。穴は粒子の不在ではなく。光より速く運動する分子なのだ、と。飛ぶ肛門。高速のヴァギナ。去勢など存在しない。」
dude ok get this. i’m gonna draw a girl right. and she’s gonna be like, really skinny, like ribs out and stuff right. but she’s gonna be looking in a mirror, and in the MIRROR, she looks FAT. no shut up man you don’t get it it’s literally an allegory for society
Where is it? Where did it go?