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#dissociative identity disorder
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The cursed truth about having a complex dissociative disorder is that we will continue to learn the same goddamn lesson over, and over, and over again as new parts wake up to the same realization "someone else" had 6 months ago.
And it feels like going in circles, but I don't think it is--I think it's more like a spiral, going deeper and deeper each time, until an updated belief Fully takes root for everyone.
I mean, it took years and years to cement the original beliefs we're unlearning in the first place...of course the reversal process is going to take some time.
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batwings-exe · 14 hours
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Shout out to all those p-did systems out there that always fakeclaim yourself.
You're just as valid as any other system. So what if you don't switch as often? So what if your headmates aren't as distinct? It doesn't matter at the end of the day. Dissociative disorders come in all shapes and sizes. Everyone's experience will be different. Just because you don't "fit the typical boxes" doesn't mean you aren't valid. You are valid, please remember that. I'm proud of you.
-🕸️
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alicelilwolf · 3 days
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I wrote this poem to touch on what I experienced in my childhood and teen years that led to me developing and being diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Echoes of a Lost Childhood
Damn right I'm angry,
At the ghosts of my past,
I was too young to carry
Such burdens that last.
Children should laugh,
And dance in the sun,
But I bore the weight
Of what should've been shunned.
Don't tell me it shaped me,
I know that too well,
I could've been carefree,
Instead, I was compelled.
The protectors, they faltered,
Left me to fend,
Healing can't alter
The wounds that won't mend.
Damn right I'm angry,
For youth stolen away,
No amount of solace
Can bring back those days.
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rin-and-jade · 3 days
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Gripped by Glue Trap: a Post about Front Stuck & Lock
I get it, there's no such thing as an actual big glue trap with being stuck outside as a system,, but oftentimes its gonna feel that way because whatever was done... that glue won't even struggle one bit, only we do. That frustration is what we all have when switching is not an option.
But do you ever think this glue is defeatable? It latches hard and wears you out the more you try to get out of the situation,, so you might think not.. yet i do! That's what this post is going to be about folks, getting your little bug-self free with my secret trick from another human glue trap ensnared in their house.
But.. what is it actually?
Generally, as a system, we facilitate each other's strengths and weaknesses by switching in and out, as all those parts are not wholly integrated compared to a singlet. And. Uh oh. You're stuck and can't get out? You're trapped!.. that little drop of sap caught your leg and now you couldn't leave, even if you wanted to. Though you still can express to your buddies that you need help or etc. (and, this is called front stuck)
Or sometimes, we can even get stranded away from our pack (as in stress, or anything that worsens internal communication), wondering alone, and stood on a nasty manmade trap that caught you without mercy. This time, you're immobile and out of reach to call for reinforcements (now, this one is called front lock)
Sap? Glue? What's the diff??
To put it simply, being stuck means being unable to get out from the front or surrender the control to another part. While being locked off is the worser version of being stuck because not only you cannot surrender the control, there is barely any stream of communication you can connect to, or nonexistent, head silent and all that.
The only similarity they have is how it greatly impedes the fronter's capability to ease in or out from front,, if not, impossible.
These two also happen for different possible reasons, such as:
↓ Stuck ↓ 
Unfinished tasks
Goal/wants not met yet
Ongoing role duty (for protectors, hosts, etc)
Reluctance handing control/fear of blacking out
Mild stressors (like anxiety)
.. and more
↓ Locked ↓
Dissociation
Fight/flight response
Overwhelm
Bigger stressors
Major life changes
Re-occurring trauma
.. and more
Just a reminder that all systems are different, and these same reasons that causes to be stuck/lock will result in an opposite reaction such as rapid switching or being blurry! This post is mainly for those who experience stuck/lock.
Then, how do i get my leg out?!
I can tell you that, but i have to explain how this ordeal happened in the first place so it'll make sense, bare with me;
You know the parasympathetic (rest) and sympathetic (fight/flight) response, yeah? These two responses flicks on depending when there's safety or presented threats. Now, DMN is a part of the parasympathetic response, the full name is Default Mode Network, which is fully responsible for.. well.. default stuffs such as mind wandering, planning, thinking inwards,, those typical things that happen when you're bored. This is also the reason you why can facilitate better communication with other parts compared to when, let's say, being busy with tasks.
Know it or not, sometimes our mind has to wander a little bit in order to chat with other parts of ourself, and stress snaps us out of that relaxed state in purpose of focusing whats at outside, rather than inside, which where everything system-y lies at. Some do not get affected and still can function as-if, so understand how your system works and use that to the advantage.
How to hack yourself from fight/flight to rest mode again? Via vagus nerve stimulation! Not sure if you ever heard of this word, but the vagus is one part of the cranial nerves that is responsible for the activation of this parasympathetic response..! It's like the oil to the glue, because it hijacks the adhesive properties with something so viscous that it binds to it instead of you!! --
Here are some activities you can do to disable the glue:
Gurgle water, hum, or sing: this is because the vagus is located around your neck, and can be easily stimulated that way.
Watch something: redirecting yourself with a distraction can ease you temporarily, giving time to calm down, which brings you out of the grips of stress.
Listen to music: another way if you don't have anything to watch, even better if you put on soothing, slower songs.
Move around: get those pented up anxiety or restlessness out! movement equals expression, this also activates the vagus nerve.
Breathe deeply: rebalance the vagus by breathing in and out slowly, this nerve is also responsible for your breathing pace too, so giving a little push of balance will create a domino effect for your nerve to work.
Solve/asses it: it will be nothing if you do not tackle the thing you are very stressed out about, which can extend how long you'll be stuck,, so use these tips above to regain self control and tackle them with me, or your trusted friends, or even alone after examining what could be done! Talking to someone also helps, even if there's nothing productive being done.
Take it easy and break it down: this one is if you're on a role job and things are being difficult, incase you're overwhelmed, remember to do it step by step, no need to be rash about getting back in first, that time will come as long you focus whats in front.
Remember, fight/flight brings us out from clarity and rational thinking, thanks to our limbic part of the brain who is primed for survival and instincts. Be more gentle with yourself, as you could be more irritable, moody, or resorting to less-safe coping mechanisms, focus on calming down before proceeding the situation.
Takeaway
So, what will you do if you're stuck next time? Don't forget to make a plan to deal this sticky situation, especially for those who are often stuck, this practice will practice your vagus nerve to be less susceptible, turning off because of stress,, giving you a better stress window and tolerance before succumbing once more.... to the good ol' glue.
Lastly, it is possible to be stuck/lock for months or years, which is an indicator of underlying long-term issues that needs to be addressed. If anyone needs some tips for this, ring me on the DMs as these practices rarely work for this type.
Oh, and, what do you guys think? What else i had not mentioned? Do you have anything to discuss with me on this topic? Let's do that! I hope this suffice in helping you tackle the next time problems arise.
Happy straddling lil' ant.
- j
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ben-marco · 2 days
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You're right for telling people who have/pretend to have DID to keep their information private. If you're not diagnosed with a disorder like that and you receive tips or other income from people because they believe you do have it, that's fraud, and people like myself love to make sure that people who scam others out of money by lying about having DID get arrested for fraud and theft by deception.
So if you or anyone else is making money from claiming to have DID, you should probably make it harder for us to report you for fraud. It won't matter because you will eventually be found out and arrested, but since it's such a common scam now....
Idk, either you and people like you can stop lying and scamming people, or try a VPN to see if it prevents any consequences to your actions. It won't, but you can try.
Stay safe, scammers!
Hi there anon. Who exactly are you addressing with this ask? I don't know who you mean with "you and people like you".
First of all, I make posts about Internet safety and privacy because a great proportion of people in online OSDDID and RAMCOA communities are minors or vulnerable in some way. Lack of information safety has been a massive problem in these spaces for years. I want people to be safe online and save themselves the trouble of broadcasting their trauma to Discord servers full of strangers. I don't encourage Internet safety so that purported "scammers" can prevent consequences of their actions.
I have a few years' experience in scambaiting. Since when is faking DID "a common scam" and since when are people getting arrested for it? I'm pretty sure the authorities are more concerned about bank fraud, hacking and ransomware, money transfer scams, and scam call centers impersonating the IRS, Canadian Revenue Agency, the FBI, Homeland Security... the list goes on.
Look, even if I was faking a horrific trauma-based disorder, I wouldn't be making any money off of this blog. Have you heard of DissociaDID, though? Prolific DID (and other disorders, like CFS and PNES) faker who makes a living off of it.
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brokemirrorsystem · 2 days
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Terrible Advice From Broke Mirror System
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systemtermz · 2 days
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Shadow Being
Flag is meant to be redesigned if desired
An alter that is a shadow being.
Not a source or -tive/-ject term.
(This Blog was created to repost terms for the convenience and comfort of others. If you remake a reclaimed flag please tag me.)
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councilsys · 3 days
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fav blogger turns out to be endo positive, 372718 injured & 3616 dead
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reimeichan · 3 days
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I'm really starting to enjoy the stage of DID recovery I'm at. It's got a funkiness to it that I don't see others talk about all that much, where it's like... kinda hard to pinpoint what state my system is in at any point in time, but not distressingly so? And also not in a dissociative way like before. It's like, I'm able to feel all these bits of me flowing in and out of my consciousness and sense of identity and I lack any sort of solid definition of what this version of me wants to be or what my destination is. I'm just kinda going with the flow now instead of trying to steer us in any particular direction.
It's definitely a lot less stressful than it used to be and it feels like my brain has calmed down pretty significantly. It's less noisy in my head and I'm now realizing some of that was because there were parts of me who felt like they couldn't be heard before now don't feel the need to scream and bang on the walls to be noticed. And because we're less dissociated from each other, we can more immediately share thoughts and feelings instead of having to manually pass those things around to each other.
I've still got that ADHD buzz, but I'm now realizing the way I described it as being "50 trains of thoughts all at once" or "having 50 tabs open and all of them are playing different audio" no longer feels like it properly describes my experiences anymore. It's more like... I have a game running and that's the main thing I'm focusing on, but I also have a youtube video guide for something I'm trying to do in the game, while I'm also got notepad open to take notes, and another window open to crosscheck information. And maybe a couple random tabs open that are completely unrelated. Still got a lot of tabs and windows up, but they're more aligned to the same or similar purpose.
I do still have the different parts and alters and we still have new (as in unknown or undocumented) parts showing up pretty much daily, but they tend to get caught up to speed fairly quickly and even the ones who are very split off from the rest of the system don't feel as scary to handle (and feel less scared themselves) since we have such a strong support network and various other tools and resources at our disposal. I still feel like we're generally different and separate parts, but we also blend and fuse and influence each other in ways that feel a lot more fluid. Instead of having to purposefully communicate things with each other every time it's now a lot more instant and the hard barriers between each of us feel more and more arbitrary as the days go on. Kinda like looking at a map? Where you see the borders on the map, but at the end of the day you remove all of that and the landscape tells a different story and shows how all those "countries" are actually connected and one giant landmass. And those borders are still important to understand how they're there and why they exist, but it's not the whole story and can actually distract you from the bigger picture.
I dunno, I know I'm definitely in a transitional period of my healing and that's why things feel so vague and nebulous but I'm not complaining. If anything I'm pretty excited for what's to come.
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i think it's so fucking funny that we saved this and that we have it and that we shared this because soon after we ended up figuring out this mf has been dinging in this cranium for years YEARS
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quasar-sys · 2 days
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i cant really get into stuff a lot. because i easily form fictivez from the subject, its draining. but that wont stop me from loving what i love!
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zero-templates · 1 day
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btw I'm going to start making system userboxes !
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sysgraphics · 11 hours
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Can you do a “this host is doing their best to be a safe place for the rest of the system but is so fucking tired” userbox!
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Box: This host is doing their best to be a safe space for their system but is so fucking tired.
( hope you like it! :) )
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batwings-exe · 14 hours
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Yall I do NOT understand the "aroace ppl aren't queer!!" argument. What the fuck man.
AROACE PEOPLE ARE QUEER!!! THEY ARE VALID AND PART OF OUR COMMUNITY!!
Show some (platonic) love to your local aroace person today <3
-🕸️
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rin-and-jade · 22 hours
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Job Roulette.. or Not: A Post about Alter Roles
Roles like Hosts? Protectors?.. maybe a Cleaner? an Academic?.. why is there an alter who comes out only for driving?! What about these other alters who don't really do much--they got to have one right??
--Are probably what you might be thinking when this topic comes up. But, there's something more into it,, it's not all about what job or how the role is assigned to an alter only.
Well, for this post, lets talk EVERYTHING about how roles work, what kinds exist, why it's there?? And especially, why are some more task specific, multi-role, or even... none? Bowl straight to the point, let's roll out. Haha punny
Ok J, spill. What are they?
Hold on. Im pulling out this dictionary definition of it--ah!
"defined positions that are associated with given responsibilities and are usually allocated according to the position or ability of each person."
To put it in system terms, it's how different parts can do something that others couldn't, or, feel a sense of responsibility in one particular aspect. That's making sense right? But oh.. you still want to know why they're there at the first place. Fine, follow me!
Yeah, show me why!
As aforementioned, this disorder boxes up our different parts of selves with amnesia and weaker bonds of connection which really sets us back on easing our 'modes' for different situations.. not only that, a part's moods and state/personality can greatly affect what kinds of jobs they get, it's not so random as you'd thought.
So, thing is, because some alters have a distinguished ability capable in doing something, depending what fragment or pre-existing knowledge/experience it holds, that can become it's very own job task.
They can be hereditary (upon split or formed), gained (fuse or passed traits), or even learnt (by its own commitment, without any prior skills). Roles come from many origins, and none of them are so different.
But, some are more complex..
I get it, some can have more than one, have ultra specific ones, or literally just don't have any. Now it makes you think--if it was from predisposed strengths each alters naturally have, then why are some more niche? or like, anything else? I know why:
Our brains are complex alright. We both can think maybe we can do (even if we don't like it) and not do something, and these are all compartmentalized in each alters, so basically its part feelings, part acceptance of such trait, and part commitment as the formula. Even confidence or the call to action affects this outcome!
This can apply to who can handle more than one jobs, or for those who are more specific or lesser known roles. In fact, roles do not have any limits, they are specifically tailored for your functionality so don't fret if you have an alter who's job is only to sleep, or anything else 'silly' !
What about the ones without.. roles?
Do you think it feels wrong to not have roles? While it is true that roles are needed, they're not actually a required standard for everyone to have a job task. Mainly, ANP's are the one who usually have roles, but EP's can too.
If they do not have a role, they might be disinterested or think they don't have any potential, or sometimes they're only there to hold memories / don't have the qualified skill sets, and thats okay! You can take proactive action in anyhow you'd like, just remember, every parts aren't forced to contribute, you know? It doesn't make them useless, maybe more on passive support/back ups.
I've also seen some systems who don't really have roles because the alters are all well-rounded, as in pick up other's tasks and that they're not assigned/compelled to do a particular job at all times, like being flexible. everyone's different!
Make sense, anything else?
Well, that we are not bound to roles, they do not define us, and that we can lose, or change roles according to our growth. Have anyone ever mentioned that?
Im aware that we tend to put too much emphasis on having jobs and being contributive, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that we all in this together, and to help each other, in a way or another.
Never forget that you're more than your job! Maybe try to enjoy other parts of life, yeah?
--
Thats the end of the post. What will you do if you find a new alter with no impressions of having a role? How do you see roles in your own pov? What's the first thing you'd do if you were to be free from your job task, if any? Feel free to let me know, i hope this has been informative, im willing to add anything if something's missing!
- j
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