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myforeverlostthoughts · 7 months

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Title: Enlistment Horrors

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x f!reader (Slight ot7 x f!reader)

Word Count: 3.5K

Genre: Angst, Sad, Happy

Summary: You and Jin write letters back and forth while he is away, but what happens when life overwhelms you and you end up in a bad place... what happened when a letter you get could end it all..

Warning: Death of character, Suicide or talk of Suicide, Slight Swearing, if there's other things let me know...

You knew the moment was going to happen sooner or later. The company told each individual that they would have to serve their time and that they would be on hiatus because of this. Your eyes scanning the first letter as Jin, your world-wide handsome, had sent you one letting you know that he had made it safe and sound and that the first couple of days of being there weren’t a walk in the park. The letter explained that the next two years were going to be rough, but you had friends, family, and Army to keep you company. The letter now sitting in your lap as you decided to reread it over happily that at least he could write to you when he could. The words almost smeared as this was the umpteenth time you had read your lover's hand writing. The letter precious as it meant everything to you. It was your special letter.

Dear y/n,

How are you? Are you staying well? I hope you are eating and sleeping as I miss laying next to you on the nights we both struggle. Being here is a struggle. The early hours are taking a toll on me as you would think I would be used to it by now. The smell of morning dew becoming a favorite as it's probably the only thing keeping me sane and not smell the body order of the other men.

I hope the others are keeping you company… I miss everyone. I miss Army and most of all I miss you. I miss your laugh, your smile, I miss how you feel when standing right next to me. I miss the way you smell too. The sweet perfume you wear and how it reminded me of our first date. Do you remember our first date? It was at the restaurant Namjoon kept telling us to check out. It was pretty bad, but it made good memories.

I hope you are doing well, my love, I hope work isn’t treating you like garbage and that you are keeping busy. I have to go for now, but know I am thinking about you. My sweet love, how I miss you and can’t wait to come home. Stay safe and tell Army and the others I love them. Sweet dreams.

Your WWH,

Jin

Tears started to stain the page as this was probably your first and only letter you got when he started. Messages on Weverse were normal when he was allowed to use his phone or laptop, but other than that you hadn’t gotten another letter as he was probably too busy to write. Your eyes glancing at the time as you knew you had to go to bed as Jungkook had his first signing for his new album and you promised you would join him. Your heart aching as you wish Jin was home. You wanted to hold him and kiss him like he was the last man alive. You missed him. You just hope everything was okay.

~~~~~

Dear World-Wide Handsome,

How are you? I hope things are going well and that Jungkook and V both have albums out. Do you believe that? Everyone is slowly coming out with solo albums and soon enough it will be a new rotation of solo stuff as I’m sure you had seen something about Namjoon talking about another album and that he was waiting on V’s new one to come out before he even thought about writing another. The three of them are working so hard that I haven’t really seen much of Suga, Jimin, or J-Hope, but whatever the three are up to, I can promise you they are doing well and staying healthy. They do have me after all and I’m sure with you gone someone had to take your place.

Anyway, I hope things in the military aren’t too rough on you. I know you said things were a bit hard at first, but isn’t that the usual case for things like this? I mean how else will you get strong and be able to help protect Army we all love and care about. If we go to war someone has to be the strongest, it can’t be I or Suga, we're kinda lazy and that says something since he is our cat. God, how is it that the army compared our sweet suga to a cat. He may seem like one but I swear he is much fiercer than that.. Do you remember the silly little nickname… What was it again? Lil kitty cat? Lil genius cat? OH! It was Lil Meow Meow… the army are so creative with their nicknames I can’t seem to stay up to date. The only one I have stuck in my brain is yours but that’s because you repeat it everywhere you go.

I’ve seen others go to their enlistment. I think some from EXO have gone and a few others. The dancing videos on TikTok are kinda funny, but I haven’t seen any from you. Are you teaching your bunk mates how to dance? That could be funny. I would love to see that and I’m sure so do Army.

I miss you..

There isn’t a day I don’t think about you and hope you are doing the best to stay healthy and not overworking yourself.

I need you.

Come home safe, you hear me?

Anyway, I’m heading to bed now. Namjoon would have a cow if I had stayed up later than I said I would. I love you. Stay safe.

Your waiting girlfriend,

y/n.

You sealed the envelope and placed it on your bedside table. You knew that you were going to cross the post office sometime tomorrow, but didn’t know when. Your smile still attached to your lips as you dreamed about Jin and him teaching his bunk mates how to dance to the song “Dynamite”. Your soft giggle echoing the room as you headed to bed hoping time would fly fast and that you could see your lover again. His dreamy voice putting you to sleep as you listen to “The Astronaut” hoping that maybe someday in the future he would be home. You missed him. You truly missed your little Astronaut.

~~~~~

Dear Y/N,

How are you doing? Are you well? Keeping up with the weather as I’m sure summer is being brutal to you right now. Were very hot in the camp we are stationed at. Things are gross and sticky. Sweat is becoming a second skin at this point as the air conditioner broke in the place I am sleeping at and ugh… it's disgusting.

I can’t believe V and Jungkook’s albums are out. I had remembered when V had first talked about his and how he was so nervous that Army would dislike it. I bet they love listening to him sing. His voice has changed since we started and honestly so has yours. I miss your voice. I miss the way it gets high pitched when you're excited about something or the little pout you do when you're upset. I bet you wear that pout so proudly now that I’m not there to say no and that I’m sure Namjoon is caving in left and right when you bat those long eyelashes. You better not be replacing me. I will find out if it's from the guys or from Army. They tell me everything. *laughs*

I’m excited for fall to finally be here. I know it's been a few months since our last exchange of letters or even the first one of mine, but things have been hell since arrival that I hope you understand. I’m sure the others will be coming their way as well. Hobi, Suga, Namjoon, I can see the sadness in their eyes whenever Army brings it up and I just hope they are doing okay. I hope You are doing okay as I know once the last one leaves you’ll be alone for a while. At least until June 2025 when I return. That day will be amazing. I can’t wait to finally be back and be around everyone. I can’t wait to be around you and I know you can’t either. I bet you're jumping for joy right now thinking about it. You’re cute.

Anyway, love, I have to head to bed now. They’re calling lights out. Sleep well and tell the others and Army I love and miss them.

Your World-Wide Handsome,

Seokjin

~~~~~

Dear Seokjin,

How are you? Are you being safe? Are you being well enough to make sure your health is strong as ever?

I don’t know how to sugar coat this as I know we promised to look after her while you were gone and we tried our best to do so, but… Y/N, ended up in the hospital the other night. She had a breakdown of missing you and stress from work. She… She tried taking her life and honestly it scared me. She seemed so frail and so broken that I was surprised that I didn’t see it coming. She was constantly telling me she was okay and that she didn’t need our help with whatever struggle she was dealing with because there was no trouble, but clearly there was if she tried taking her life just like that.. The scene was so vivid that I just don’t understand why a flower so bright and full of life would do something like that.. I’m scared she won't come home Jin… I wish you could come home so we could all see her smile again. I miss it. I miss you.

I’ll keep you updated on Y/N and make sure you miss nothing. I hope these two years fly by… I need my brothers home again…

Anyway, stay safe and I purple you…

JHope…

P.S. Don’t tell Y/N that I told you… I would hate to see the look she gives when she finds out. I hate upsetting her, but I feel like you needed to know. Anyway, until next time Hyung.

JHope folded the letter and slipped it in the envelope. He placed it on the counter before grabbing his keys and wallet. V walked over and glanced at it as he asked, “Is this for Hyung?” JHope nodded his head as there was a slight frown to his lips, “Did you tell him about?” JHope nodded once more as V let out a sigh. He didn’t like the idea of Seokjin finding out but he was sure aware of if Army found out how he would then find out and worry while being away. The two males looking at each other as Namjoon entered the room and with the same matching frown asked, “Are you going to go see Y/N?”

JHope nodded his head as he wasn’t really in the mood to talk. He honestly wanted to forget that this whole thing happened and that maybe just maybe if he were to take a nap or go to bed all this would be a dream and that nothing like this would have ever happened.

“Do you care if I tag along and see her as well? I know I have some things I have to do in the studio, but I’m sure a nice visit with her would be nice. What do you say?” Namjoon said as JHope shrugged his shoulders and then grabbed the letter before heading to the door where he slipped on his shoes. Namjoon trailing behind as he looked at V and asked, “You coming along as well or you staying here?”

V grabbed an apple before slowly making his way to his room again, but before he headed down the hall shook his head, “I’m staying here. Seeing her like this just makes the nightmares seem more real. Tell her I say ‘Hi’ though and that I miss her, okay?”

JHope and Namjoon nodded their heads as they left to go to the car and headed to the hospital, once they got there though, standing in the room next to you was your mother and the look on her face was unpleasant as if she was upset, which she had the right too, just not in the way you would have hoped.

“I can’t believe you two have the nerve of even showing up here..” your mother began as you added a small “Mom…” to the conversation. Her eyes were narrow and unhappy as she continued, “How could you be so selfish, so uncaring, I thought you seven cared for her. Why is she here? Why are you here?”

“Because we do care for her Mrs. Y/L/N… We showed up because we want to make sure that Y/N is okay and that she doesn’t think our status affects how we see her. She is our friend and our family that we would do anything in our own lives to protect and please her. I just-” Namjoon stopped as the look you were giving him was pleading, was to tell him to stop as you knew how your mother was. You felt guilty for even trying to end your own life, but work and missing Jin just piled up on top of you. The worry of the death threats and how life would be so much better if you weren’t in the picture. Army seemed like a case of who was true and who was fake. It all got to you and honestly it was what seemed to drive you over the edge, but seeing JHope and Namjoon here seemed more relaxing than your mother going after them. You felt safe as if the darkness that was swallowing you whole disappeared or at least because Jin wasn’t there to save you. They were indeed your family, your second home. You just hope Jin didn’t find out or things may have been more difficult than you wanted it to be. Your mother huffed as she stormed out JHope taking her spot as he gently grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

“How are we feeling today? Any better?” Namjoon asked as you shrugged, “Nothing like your mother hounding you to come home after you tell her that you are waiting for your boyfriend to come home from his enlistment. You know the usual conversation we have since Seokjin left.”

“Is she getting that bad?” JHope asked as you nodded your head, “She thinks because of him being gone he’s the reason I tried. I would never want to leave this world if it meant leaving him alone, but at the same time life just doesn’t seem important if he’s not here by my side.”

Namjoon hummed.

“Are they going to release you soon? The MAMA awards should be coming up. Would love to see you there.” JHope smiled as he tried to change the topic.

“I don’t know. Since mom is here they have been trying everything to get me to go to some psych ward to get me tested on shit. If not just to get away from you guys. I honestly don’t see the point when being away from anything that reminds me of Jin would make things ten times worse. I love her, don’t get me wrong, but I’m 26… I can make my own decisions.” You laughed as the boys joined in. Namjoon pulling out his phone as he smiled, showing you a photo of Holly.

“Look how big he’s getting. I can’t believe Yoongi’s dog is such a cutie, I would have seen him as a cat person.” Namjoon said as JHope gave you and him both a look.

“We all know he’s a giant cat, but could you see him taking care of a cat? I mean the litter box would reek! And what about when we are away? Who’s going to take care of it then when Holly can be taken outside and not have to worry about the house smelling.” JHope said as you started giggling.

The guys smiled, “Thank you J, Joon, I really needed this.”

“No problem, it's what we are here for.” JHope said as Namjoon nodded.

“Ms. Y/N, your medication?” A nurse said as she walked in. The guys eyed it worriedly.

“It's to help me sleep. Since the night I got here sleep has been an issue. The medication they give me helps me sleep.” You smiled as they sighed with relief that it wasn’t anything serious, “But with that being said… I am gonna have to let you two go. I am getting tired and would like to get some sleep. I’ll see you guys tomorrow?”

“Of course.” and they left to head to the post office and then the studio.

~~~~~

Dear My Love,

I finally have time to write to you and boy do I have a lot to tell you. The guys finally told me they wrote to you and yes, I was in the hospital for some time but I promise you things are a lot better now that I’m out and away from my mother.

Things here were a bit hectic as I felt overwhelmed with life that I wasn’t thinking straight and that being in the hospital gave me time to really think about life and that… to be clear almost had JHope killed. (I can’t believe he wrote to you the night AFTER everything happened. I know I can be much, but I wanted things to calm down before you heard anything, but I guess I would rather one of the boys write to you then Army write to you…)

Moving on, I got a new job! I know my last job was a bit repetitive, but I’m doing something that is a bit more relaxing and I get to see you and the others more when you're dancing. What job did I get? Well, Jin, you're looking at the new Janitor or BigHits Entertainment. I know ‘Fancy’ right? *Laughs* I thought it was a funny joke, but at least I get to see you and the other whenever I’m on the clock and it won’t be as weird. I just hate that I’ll be cleaning at night so it will be kinda spooky, but who doesn’t like a good horror.

Anyway, I’m home now. I’m doing a lot better and honestly feeling more safe with the new job and new hours. I even started talking with some of the other idols that work under BigHits. Might even have a few new Biases to add to the collection, but don’t worry Seoky you're still my number one. I love you and only you. *More laughter*

Moving forward, I’m heading off to bed now. Jungkook wants to take me out for breakfast so he told me to head to bed early. I love you bubs. Hope to hear from you soon.

Y/N

P.S. Where are those dancing videos? I wanna see you and your bunk mates dancing!

~~~~~

Dear Y/N,

I am so saddened to hear of the passing of Kim Seokjin. This is an incredibly sad time, but please know there are so many people around you who want to help.

Seokjin was a caring man. He was a strong member of our community, and his smile will be sorely missed. I know you all must mourn independently, but our hearts go out to you.

Seokjin was always there to lend a helping hand to a fellow serviceman or woman. He graduated at the top of his group, and we always knew he would accomplish great things. He never let us down, and we know he never let his family down.

It was a great honor to have served with such an inspiring image of bravery and compassion. Please let me know if there is any way I can support you during this time.

Your legs buckled from under you. Your eyes blurry as the loudest sob ripped through your chest. You thought it was going to be training, but not telling you how Seokjin went made things even worse. What man or woman would do that to you? What in the right mind would make you think this was okay? Was it because you were his girlfriend? Was it because his parents knew you would want to find out? You didn’t know. You didn’t know and hearing the remaining six men come and check on you, with worried faces, made it clear that something had happened to Jin and no one wanted to find out until you were ready. Namjoon holding you close to his chest as he rocked you back and forth allowing you to sob. Your voice calling out “He’s gone..” repeatedly as Suga looked at JHope who was sharing a gance with V and Jungkook knew that after what had happened needed them the most. The boys taking turns holding you as they read the letter out loud. Namjoon’s head hanging low as they didn’t realize enlistment could lead to death. The boys crying as they mourned their friend. Mourned their brother. The group saying their goodbyes as this was probably the saddest letter they all had ever read. What they didn’t know was that Hobi was next. His letter sitting on the counter as it would soon be his turn.

Warm regards,

Kenji Yamamoto

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bruisingknees · 1 year

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I got a tag from @notabuddhist :D

1. are you named after anyone?

No! As per (regional? Local?) custom my middle names are those of my godparents, but my first name comes from the song Aline by Christophe.

2. when was the last time you cried?

I teared up a little while listening to Delilah Green Doesn’t Care - it has some family/siblings stuff in it that always gets me.

3. do you have kids?

No, and I have absolutely no desire for them atm. I think it’s lovely when people who really want (and have all necessary things in order to have them) have them. But the thought of pregnancy, the thought of labor and then the thought of having that child in my life is just extremely unpleasant to me lmao. I very often feel very overwhelming relief that I don’t have kids.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I don’t know, a normal amount lmfao? Probably not a lot, no.

5. what sports do you play / have you played?

When I was a kid my parents made me take Aikido. Now, as an adult, I definitely understand why they did it and where they were coming from - but as a kid with undiagnosed (social) anxiety it was very confusing to me because I couldn’t really grasp why I felt so fucking messed up every week when it was time to go there. I was just so nervous and so anxious every time. And then when I got there it was mainly fine? Exposure therapy didn’t really work for me, as I remember it I was anxious about it till the very end.

Anyway, I walk a lot now and I have phases where I’ll be really into yoga but I’m in an off phase right now.

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

I’m not a very noticing kind of person when it comes to like visual things. (When my dad picked up his new glasses I was like: They look good! Are they very different from your old pair...? And apparently they were lmfao. I also never noticed when friends in HS got their braces removed?? Love being unaware.)

I think I notice someone’s expression/mood first? Like is this person smiling or not, what kind of expression do they have. Do they look nice lmao?

7. what's your eye colour?

Brown

8. scary movies or happy endings?

If there is a scary movie playing in cinemas, that will always be my first choice, very enthusiastically. I adore horror movies, always have. They scare the shit out of me (in the moment) but that’s never stopped me! I’m here to get traumatised!

A happy ending is a must for me. You’re gonna make me care about something and then have it end in a sad way? Gtfo with that qmdgj.

9. any special talents?

worrying and making my own life a lot harder than it has to be

10. where were you born?

Belgium - which is not a Dutch city, as per that viral clip

11. what are your hobbies?

Fangirling is a hobby, right? I watch a lot of shows - mainly Thai atm. I’ve read 18 books so far this year, but that’s also something that comes and goes in phases I love going to the movies, finding new places to go out to eat I love cooking and baking and more of those home making things like decorating for the seasons

12. do you have any pets.

I have a senior cat - and my parents have two cats, who I basically consider my own because at least the eldest cat we took in when I still lived at home. My brother has two dogs, so I’m also a proud aunty.

13. how tall are you?

167cm (which I think is 5′6?)

14. favourite subject in school?

English, cause I was good at it and the teacher was really sweet and pretty.

15. dream job?

I just want a job that makes me enough money so I can get by and afford some luxuaries, and that isn’t mentally tasking lmfao. I wanna get in there, do the job and then get out there lmao. No over time, no bullshit, no anxiety. I’m currently working for my parents and ngl it’s sort of my dream job because it’s stressfree 95% of the time and my bosses are my parents so they’re obviously very lenient. They’re looking at retirement though, so I only have a couple of more years left here and it’s gonna suck to find something new but alas.

#meme

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twilight-orchid · 3 years

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How The Demon Brothers React After Fighting With Their SO

tw: some angst with resolution at the end, mentions of past arguments, insecurity.

Lucifer:

This man is petty as hell.

He doesn’t do the silent treatment, but he acts like you aren’t dating.

If you need to work on something together, you’re a co-worker.

At RAD you’re a classmate.

Around the house you’re just a housemate.

His poker face is immaculate and it will not crack when you’re around.

If someone didn’t know what was happening, they’d probably think you two barely knew each other.

However, you won’t notice, but as soon as you look the other way his eyes are on you.

He’s used to arguing with his brothers and is no stranger to explosive fights that end with he and the other person not being on speaking terms.

But you’re different.

He tries to go on with business as usual, but he can’t think about anything other than how much he misses you.

Yet, he lets it continue because he just can’t put his pride aside and apologize.

If you decide to sleep in your old room it’ll both hurt his feelings and royally piss him off.

He thinks you’re being childish and will be pretty rude about it, but that’s because internally his blood just ran cold.

It adds a degree of seriousness to the argument that he’s uncomfortable with.

Yes he’s mad, but he can’t lose you.

If you still sleep in his bed, he makes sure to scoot over to the very edge so he doesn’t cuddle you in his sleep.

In fact, the first night after the argument he’d probably put a pillow between you just to really punctuate the fact that he’s still upset.

I’d say it could go 4 days to a week tops without you making up.

After a point though, he just can’t function until the issue is resolved. He can’t sleep, he’s falling behind on his work, and he’s just generally not doing well.

You get called to his office one night and find him at his desk surrounded by piles of paper, disheveled and exhausted.

“MC, come sit down. I’d like to talk this through. Please.”

Mammon:

He’s so dramatic.

You dare defy him? The Great Mammon can’t believe this tiny fragile human would have the audacity.

The theatrics are just a front though.

His ‘The Great Mammon’ act is a mask for his insecurity, one he hasn’t had to use with you in awhile.

Even as the words leave his mouth he regrets them.

He’s going to be very uncomfortable with everything until the argument is resolved, but most of all himself.

He’s learned not to take his brothers too seriously when they toss insults his way, but words have a way of morphing to belief over time.

Internally he is going to be super hard on himself.

Regardless of if the fight was his fault or not, he’s going to kick himself constantly for making yet another mistake.

He’s over the argument pretty fast. The anger quickly melts into anxiety.

Are you going to leave him? Do you hate him? Did he hurt your feelings?

That being said, he doesn’t know if you’re still mad and he doesn’t know how to ask.

As a defense mechanism, he defaults to how he treated you when you first arrived in the devildom.

Calls you human, disregards you, stuff like that.

If you decide to sleep in another room, before midnight expect him to be knocking on the door.

“Oi, MC. You awake? I just - I can’t - *sigh* Can we talk about this?”

If you sleep in his bed, he makes a point of sleeping with his back to you.

Less because he’s actually mad and more because he doesn’t want his image of you as he drifts to sleep to be a look of anger.

Though as soon as he passes out he’ll roll over and tuck you into his arms on instinct.

I’d say any after effects of an argument with Mammon would be resolved in a day, maybe two tops.

Leviathan:

Arguing activates his trolling the forums mode.

Goes back to calling you a normie and contradicts everything you say.

He’s less mad about the argument and more using the bitterness to cope with how upset he is.

He feels like a break up is less of an if and more of a when.

Why would someone as amazing as you settle for weird otaku like him?

Honestly doesn’t understand why you’re with him in the first place, so when there’s a serious argument he assumes its over.

Tbh don’t know how you and Levi would sleep together being that I doubt two could fit in a tub, but any deviation to your routine sends him into a panic.

It’s his reality check that the situation is serious and he needs to fix it NOW.

He’d have trouble apologizing in person. He can’t think of what to say, he stumbles over his words, and he feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

Instead, expect a long ass text message.

He says how sorry he is, how much he misses and loves you, and legit begs you to forgive him.

If you sleep with him like normal, he’ll probably try to make up after laying there for awhile. His mind is going a million miles an hour and there’s no way he can sleep.

Still really has trouble verbalizing how he feels, so give the poor boy a break and take over the conversation.

He hasn’t had a serious relationship before and he doesn’t know what he should do to make it better.

So the after effects will last however long it takes him to read several mangas, watch some anime, and play a few games to see how the characters get over arguments in the story.

Satan:

Satan makes sure not to fight with you over minor issues.

He’s worked tirelessly to tame his wrath and he refuses to feed into it over a minor issue.

Thus, if you fight with Satan it’s a major argument and it’s explosive.

The aftermath isn’t much better.

He doesn’t want to risk blowing up again, so he’s frighteningly calm.

He’s an absolute master of the silent treatment.

He won’t say a word to you until he’s certain he’s calmed down enough.

For the first few days he’ll straight up leave a room if you enter.

For a good while the only way you can expect to communicate with him is through his body language and the expression in his eyes.

Satan’s biggest fear is losing control and lashing out at you.

He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you and he can’t stand the thought of you being afraid of him.

He’s a whirlwind of emotions, so he isolates himself until he can figure out how to deal with it.

Not just from you, but from everyone else too.

Satan will not share a bed with you for at least the first night.

If he got worked up enough to actually fight, it’s gonna take him time to simmer down.

And he’d rather not risk doing or saying something he regrets in the meantime.

Once he’s ready, he’ll approach you when he’s completely calmed down and has thoroughly analyzed the situation.

He’s considered both of your sides, tried to pinpoint what caused the disagreement to turn into a fight, and made a plan of action to prevent it from happening again.

“MC? I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what happened. Would you please talk it through with me?”

He won’t apologize for the argument if he feels like he was right, but he will apologize for letting the disagreement escalate into a fight.

Satan could go weeks without making up if necessary, but he tries to resolve it within a couple of days.

Asmodeus:

Wants to give you the silent treatment, but is physically incapable.

He can’t stand to have you ignore him.

He’s the type to go back to normal then suddenly remembers you guys had a fight.

“Wait, no! I’m not talking to you! I’m mad at you!”

His biggest downfall is that he’s so stubborn.

If he thinks he was right, he will die on that hill.

There are arguments with his brothers that happened a thousand years ago and he could still tell you exactly why he was right.

But with you, he realizes that doesn’t matter too him nearly as much as it usually does.

If it means going back to normal, he’ll forget who’s right or wrong.

If you sleep in another room, he’s beyond offended.

“What?! Well fine! I don’t want you in my bed anyway!”

Laying in bed alone is a different story though.

He can’t sleep. All he can think about is you. Your face when you sleep next to him, your smell, the feeling of his arms around you.

He 100% cries.

Finally goes and knocks on your door with wet, glossy eyes.

“MC? Can we talk about this? I can’t get my beauty sleep and my tears are wiping off all of my skin care lotion!”

Will throw himself into your arms before you can answer.

If you sleep next to him still, he rolls over and watches you sleep.

It puts him at peace and he decides seeing your sweet, resting face every morning is worth more to him than the argument.

He’ll initiate the conversation the next morning.

I think Asmo could make it a few days if it was a really serious argument, but he will not function well until you make up.

Beelzebub:

Wants to make up immediately.

He doesn’t like to argue, even less so with you.

Whether he was right or wrong, he blames himself. He’ll take all the blame in the world if it makes you happy.

He’ll go make you your favorite food and bring it to you.

If he thinks you don’t want to talk to him, he’ll leave it outside your door and text you to let you know it’s there.

He’s honestly devastated if you decide to sleep in another room.

You guys migrate to your old room when you want privacy from Belphie, but you almost never sleep separately.

Seeing you grab your pillows and march out of the room nearly stops his heart.

He goes completely numb and silent as he just stares at the space you had just occupied.

Like Levi, he thinks this means the relationship is over and he genuinely does not know what to do with himself.

He can’t even bring himself to eat, he just wants to lie there, lost and trying to grapple with his emotions.

He’s another one who will absolutely cry, but unlike Asmo he will make sure no one knows it.

If you still sleep in his bed, he’s very nervous about it.

He doesn’t know if it’s okay to touch you, what he can or can’t say, stuff like that.

He just lays there stiff as a board not even able to close his eyes.

Honestly the fight would probably have to be resolved before bed. His anxiety just can’t take it.

I don’t think he’d initiate the apology. Not because he doesn’t want to make up but because his confidence is rock bottom in these situations.

He catastophizes and honestly thinks you hate him.

If you don’t initiate the apology soon, Belphie will. He can feel what his twin won’t say, and he knows Beel won’t approach you about it for fear of making it worse.

Belphie will lock you two in a room if that’s what it takes for you to make up.

Belphegor:

The embodiment of if looks could kill.

He won’t talk to you, won’t look at you, basically pretends you aren’t there.

If he must interact with you he’ll roll his eyes and sigh the whole time.

Tries to sleep through any interaction so he doesn’t have to deal with it.

He feels almost betrayed by the fight.

He thought the relationship was stronger than to have such a huge divide, so he’s really insecure about it.

After the first day, the anger has melted away to guilt.

He ‘s not guilty that you fought, but he is guilty about how he treated you after.

Guilt and self-blame have become unwelcome friends at this point. Guilt over Lilith, over his plans to destroy the human world, everything.

But more than anything else, the guilt for the fact that he attacked you weighs on him every day.

He moved past it quickly after, essentially pretending he hadn’t killed you, but that’s because he just couldn’t confront what he’d done.

He feels like the luckiest demon alive that you forgave him, let alone opened you heart enough to love him, and now it’s all in tatters.

Another thing to regret.

If you decide to sleep separately, it’ll hit him like a bag of bricks.

“You - what? Where are you going?”

It’ll take him a second to process what you were doing, but then he’ll roll over and let you leave.

“Fine. Don’t let the door hit you.”

No one will see him for awhile.

Belphie sleeps all the time anyway, but he just can’t make himself get out of bed.

If you don’t approach him to apologize, Beel will tell you that he’s been nauseous and randomly emotional which must mean his twin is coping very badly.

Will beg you to go make Belphie happy again.

If you sleep in his bed still, the argument will be resolved by morning.

He can’t keep himself from embracing you in his sleep, and it’s hard to say you’re mad at someone when you wake up in their loving arms.

It’s hard to pinpoint how long it could last with Belphie. If you don’t apologize first, he won’t let himself be conscious long enough to approach you.

This is both my first hc post as well as my first obey me post so I’m sorry if le boys are ooc. I just got this idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it so here we are. Especially Belphie, he was hard to me for some reason. Let me know if you guys agree or disagree and if you want to send a request or ask, my box is open!

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bing-bang-bingo · 4 years

Text

- 4x3: c. 40:00 Cas comforts Dean after Mary makes a deal w/ Azazel

- 4x7: 15:50 Dean stops Sam from shooting Cas, then Sam mentions that he’s “heard a lot about him”

- 4x7: 39:00 Cas tells Dean he prayed he’d save the town, then he tells him about his doubts and Deans future troubles

- 4x10 & ???: Dean calls “last night on Earth” his best line. He uses this line on Cas

- 4x10: 27:15 “Castiel has this weakness. He likes you.”

- 4x10: 32:50 Cas looking jealous and sad when Dean kisses Anna

- 4x16: 7:30 Cas tells Dean he got in trouble for showing emotion and getting to close to Dean. 8:20 “I would give anything not to have you do this”

- 4x16: 39:00 Cas warns Dean to be careful while Dean is in the hospital, they discuss the first seal and saving Dean from hell

- 4x18: 31:30 Cas tells Dean how to save Sam from Lilith even though he’s not allowed to interfere

- 4x20: 38:00 Deans face when Cas tells him he “learned his lesson when he was in heaven”

- 4x22: 30:40 Cas considers rebelling for Dean. 33:00 He does. 35:20 He fights multiple Archangels for Dean

- 5x1: 5:45 Dean denies Cas’ death 8:25 “I learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch”

- 5x1: 31:00 Cas saves Sam and Dean from Zach

- 5x3: 6:10 Cas-“I need your help because your the only one who will help me”

- 5x3: 10:20 Dean fixes Cas’ tie and jacket

- 5x4: 38:50 “Don’t Ever Change”

- 5x8: 38:20 Dean makes Gabriel bring Cas back, then makes sure he’s okay

- 5x13: ?:?? Cas won’t let Dean meet with Anna because it’s not safe

- 5x17: 30:30 Cas and Dean discuss what it’s like to have a deadbeat dad

- 5x18: 25:15 Cas kicks Deans ass for trying to sacrifice himself

- 5x21: 3:50 Cas and Dean bickering like and old married couple then Cas gives Dean a heartfelt apology.

- 6x17: 18:55 “No you’re confusing me with the other angel, the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you.”

- 6x17: 38:00 Sam: “So you killed 50,000 people for us?” Cas: *looks at Dean*

- 6x19: 25:20 Bobby reassures Cas that they’ll be back soon, Cas acts like a worried and disappointed wife.

- 6x19: 36:25 Cas yelling “Dean!” when Eve bites him

- 6x19: 40:00 Dean is the only one who doesn’t think Cas is working with Crowley (he’s wrong but it’s sweet)

- 6x20: 4:50 Dean v v worried, “But Cas you’ll call right? If you get into real trouble?”

- 6:30 Crowley implies that Cas is distracted by Dean and tells him he reeks of the Impala.

- 7:20 Cas says that Dean taught him how to care and what to care about. Then Cas saves Sam (for Dean)

- 13:15 Cas says that the worst part of working with Crowley (basically his sworn natural enemy) is that it hurt Dean and that he hated lying to him.

- 25:20 Cas refuses to ask Dean for help because he has “sacrificed too much” even though it means Cas could die.

- 26:00 Crowley tells Cas he has a way for everyone to get a happy ending “with all possible entendres intended” while Cas stares longingly at Dean.

- 33:00 Dean is close to tears when he learns that Cas is working with Crowley, Cas says he did it to protect Dean.

- 35:25 “Dammit Cas we can fix this!” “Dean it’s not broken!” He then tells the boys to run from the demon cloud and Dean gives him the saddest look in the world before being forced to leave him behind.

- 38:00 Cas watches Dean sleep. “I’m doing this for you Dean. I’m doing this because of you!”

- 6x21: 22:40 “I do everything you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still despite your lack of faith in me and now your threats I’ve just saved you yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?”

- 6x22: Dean to Cas- “Don’t make me lose you, too.”

- 7x2: 5:35 Dean nearly cries on screen when he thinks Cas is dead

- 7x17: Cas says “I remember ~you~” as soon as he regains his memories.

- 7x17: Cas ask why Dean didn’t tell him all the horrible things Cas did. Parallels the conversation Karen and Dean had about telling Bobby she remembered him killing her and her telling Dean that he had never been on love before.

- 7x21: The face Dean makes when he sees Cas again plus the prolonged eye contact when Cas says Deans name.

- 7x21: Hester telling Dean that when Cas first saved him from Hell he was lost- parallels- Lucifer/Jess saying she was dead the moment she met Sam.

- 7x23: 8:50 “Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.” Meg to Dean about Cas

- 7x23: 32:45 “I’m sorry but I’d rather have you, cursed or not.”

- 7x23: 36:50 Cas steps in to protect Dean despite spending the whole season avoiding fighting and saying he won’t fight.

- 8x2: 25:00 Cas ran away to keep the Leviathans away from Dean. Dean refuses to leave purgatory without Cas.

- 8x7: 20:30 Deans reaction to seeing Cas all cleaned up.

- 8x7: Dean convinced himself that it was his fault Cas was still in purgatory because he’s a sweet idiot boy who hates himself

- 8x7: 35:00 The whole Dean and Cas conversation about purgatory and Cas doing stuff that puts him in danger.

- 8x8: 12:30 Cas just casually going through Deans stuff and Dean not saying anything.

- 8x8: 13:00 Cas offering to watch over Dean while he slept

- 8x8: 15:15 Dean talks to Cas about feelings and heaven even though Dean hates talking about feelings.

- 8x17: Cas fights Naomi’s mind control for Dean

- 8x23: 22:50 Dean and Cas sadly discuss Cas closing the doors of heaven and say goodbye

- 9x1: Dean prays to Cas and tells him he isn’t mad about the angels falling.

- 9x1: Cas’ first instinct is to explain himself to Dean then to come help him.

- 9x1: Dean begs Cas to “for once, look out for yourself.”

- 9x3: 36:45 Dean to Cas after Cas came back from the dead “Don’t you ever do that again!”

- 9x6: Literally just Dean trying desperately the whole episode to hang out with Cas

- 9x10: 26:00 Dean and Cas talk about how Cas is doing and Dean offers him a rare sincere apology. Plus the “I prefer the term ‘trusting’. Less dumb, less ass.” dialogue

- 9x18: Cas’ little smile when Dean makes a joke about Honor Bars and Cas is just so happy to hear his voice.

- 9x18: Metatron’s illusion of Gabriel calls Cas Dean’s boy-toy

- 9x18: Cas can tell something is wrong with Dean, then Cas yells at Dean about getting the Mark of Cain

- 9x22: Cas chooses Dean over all of Heaven once again

- 9x22: The Cas and Dean conversation about the three of them being enough when an army wasn’t and Cas giving up an army all for Dean

- 9x23: “I’m blaming you for taking Cas’ grace.”

- 10x1: 5:00 Cas about Dean- “I miss him.”

- 10x2: 9:00 Cas’ reaction to learning that Dean is a demon

- 10x3: The conversation between Dean and Cas at the end of the episode. “You look terrible” “You on the other hand, your looking good.”

- 10x5: Deans reaction to Cas and Dean actors hugging and holding hands

- 10x5: “Put as much sub into that text as you possibly can.” *looks directly at fake Cas*

- 10x9: 15:00 Cas tells Dean he’s a good role model. Then asks him if he’s okay and when Dean lies and says he is he pushes it further. Dean makes Cas promise to kill him if he goes Dark

- 10x22: Dean and Cas fight and parallel Cain and his Wife.

- 10x23: Dean sees Cas’ bloody face in the mirror

- 11x1: Cas being more worried about Dean than himself even though Cas is under a spell that will kill him.

- 11x2: Dean calling Cas and stressing out when he doesn’t answer

- 11x3: Dean trying to coax Cas out of the attack dog spell, refusing to fight back when Cas was attacking, freaking out when Cas took a minute to wake up, refusing to let Cas heal him (because he “had it coming”), and refusing to let Cas apologize (because “there’s nothing to apologize for”).

- 11x10: “Dean, I came as soon as you called.” Also: “Stick your tongue out.” Dean-*does*

- 11x11: Dean realizing that something is wrong with Cas (while he is possessed by Lucifer)

- 11x11: Mildred says that Dean is pining for someone else(probably meant to be a reference to Amara, but she told him this after he had seen Cas for the first time in a few days.)

- 11x14: The sadness on Deans face when he realizes Cas is Lucifer and then his determination to save Cas

- 11x15: Dean getting kinda dark when he talks about what he’s willing to do to save Cas and he prioritizes saving Cas over bearing Amara.

- 11x17: Dean once again prioritizing saving Cas over saving the world. Sam reassuring Dean that they’ll save Cas (even though Dean didn’t say anything about what was upsetting him)

- 11x17: The camera zooming in on Dean after Michelle says that there is no normal after losing the man you love.

- 11x18: Dean refuses to put Lucifer in the cage or let him fight Amara while using Cas as his vessel.

- 11x18: The difference in the way Dean looks at Lucifer vs at Cas

- 11x18: Dean about Cas: “Lets go find that idiot and bring him home.”

- 11x19: Dean has been looking for leads non stop for a week since Amara took Cas

- 11x21: Amara uses Cas’s heart to find Dean, then shows Dean images of Cas beaten and bloodied to convince him to turn against Chuck

- 11x23: Dean’s face when he realizes Cas is back and Lucifer is gone.

- 11x23: Dean tells Cas he isn’t stupid and that he always helps

- 11x23: Cas: “Dean are you okay? How do you feel?”

- 11x23: Cas hugging Dean super tight before he goes off to die. Dean entrusting his life’s purpose (look after Sam) then thanking him for everything.

- 12x1: Cas seeing that Dean is alive and hugging him while his voice breaks.

- 12x1: Cas taking the job Dean have him very seriously

- 12x2: Dean adorably venting to Cas about his mommy-issues

- 12x3: Dean- “Morning sunshine want some coffee.” Cas- “No thank you.”

- 12x7: “Well at least I don’t look like a lumberjack.” They are such husbands

- 12x7: “Engaged in what Cas? killing you?”

- 12x8: Cas being so worried about what happened to Sam and DEAN that Kelly escaped.

- 12x9: Mary-“You left them!” Cas- *voice breaking* “Dean told me to go!” Also, just Cas looking so hard for them.

- 12x9: Cas blaming himself for Sam and Dean being taken

- 12x9 Cas knowing how long the boys have been gone down to the hour.

- 12x9: Cas’s voice and eyes when he hears Dean’s voice on the phone.

- 12x9: Cas killing Billie because “You mean too much to me” and “The world needs as many Winchesters as it can get.”

- 12x10: Poor Sam having to deal with Cas and Dean while they fight like an old married couple.

- 12x10: Dean immediately telling Ishim to go to hell when he insults Cas

- 12x10: Sam telling Dean to go to Cas when Dean thought Cas was in trouble

- 12x10: Cas immediately believing Dean about Ishim even though they’re mad at each other. Dean about to let Ishim kill him to save Cas.

- 12x10: Ishim comparing Dean and Cas’s relationship to Ishims relationship with his human lover, then saying he was going to cut Cas’s human weakness

- 12x11: “And Cas is my best friend.”

- 12x12: Dean about Cas- “My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here...”

- 12x12: Dean stressing out and voice breaking as he tries to comfort poisoned Cas

- 12x12: LITERALLY TOLD DEAN THAT HE LOVED HIM WHILE CAS WAS DYING

- 12x12: *looking at Dean* “I love you.” Then adds “I love all of you”

- 12x12: Cas- “Run.” Dean- “Cas, no.”

- 12x12: The look Dean gives Cas when he won’t stop staring at him after he’s healed.

- 12x14: Dean says some very harsh stuff to Mary after finding out the reason they Cas almost died at the lake house was because Mary was working for the British Men of Letters

- 12x15: Dean could tell something was up with Cas after talking to him for less than a minute, over the phone.

- 12x18: Sam trying to make Dean feel better about not hearing from Cas.

- 12x19: Dean literally always acting like a scorned wife when Cas comes back after long periods of time

- 12x19: Dean made Cas a mixtape

- 12x19: Cas- “I ~needed~ to came back here with a win for you.”

- 12x19: Cas- *gesturing between Dean and himself* “You mean... we?” Dean- “Yes, dumbass, we.”

- 12x23: Dean screaming for Cas when he attacks Lucifer and trying to chase after him forcing Sam to drag Dean back through the rift. A direct parallel to Dean pulling Sam away from Jess and the fire in Pilot

- 12x23: Dean kneeling next to Cas’s dead body looking up at the sky completely devastated.

- 13x1: Dean couldn’t bring himself to say dead when referring to Cas

- 13x1: Dean PRAYED to GOD to bring Cas back

- 13x1: “We just lost ~everything~. And now you’re gonna bring ~him~ back.”

- 13x1: Dean personally wrapping Cas’s body and giving him a hunters funeral.

- 13x1: The look of complete devastation on Dean’s face when he burns Cas’s body.

- 13x3: Dean refusing to help save Jack because he blames him for manipulating Cas and getting him killed.

- 13x4: The Empty to Cas: “I know what you love, what you fear. There is nothing for you back there.” He loves Dean and Cas fears that Dean doesn’t love him back.

- 13x5: Sam being worried about Dean who has given up all hope since Cas died.

- 13x5: Dean being so distressed thinking Cas is gone forever that he tries to kill himself

- 13x5: Dean seeing Cas alive again and they both have tears in their eyes.

- 13x6: Dean hugging Cas and saying he’s been gone for “too damn long”

- 13x6: Dean being immediately happier and nicer to everyone once Cas is back

- 13x6: Cas saying “Yes. Yes, he does” (in response to Jack saying Dean really likes cowboys) with the tone of an exhausted spouse.

- 13x6: “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.”

- 13x6: Dean made Cas watch Tombstone with him.

- 13x6: Dean and Cas dresses like cowboy husbands.

- 13x6: Cas saying “I’m your huckleberry” to Dean in a deep accent and Dean looking away.

- 13x6: Their undercover names are Russel and Kilmer

- 13x14: The whole scene where Cas and Dean fight Gog/Magog and act like an old married couple.

- 13x14: The angry, dark look Cas gives Donatello when he tries to kill Dean

- 13x16: “Dean has him by the thigh!” Cas, jealously: “He ~what~?”

- 13x16: “and that includes the Cartwright twins.” Cas, again jealously: “what did you do with the Cartwright twins?”

- 13x19: Cas angrily confronting Naomi about forcing him to kill a bunch of Dean clones.

- 13x21: Cas secretly sliding Dean more pizza when Mary and Sam left the room.

- 13x21: Cas having to hold Dean back from going after Sam. Dean would have beat the shit out of anyone else who tried to stop him.

- 13x23: Cas trying to stop Dean from giving himself to Michael even if it meant losing Sam AND Jack

- 13x23: Cas sitting alone in the bum jet with tears in his eyes after Dean left

- 14x1: Demon: “How is it you lost Dean. I thought you two were joined at the... everything.”

- 14x1: Dean trying to save Cas from Lucifer then vs Cas trying to save Dean from Michael now

- 14x3: The look that Dean and Cas give each other when Dean comes home.

- 14x9: Cas almost being happy seeing Dean happy. And then having to force himself to not be happy so he doesn’t die.

- 14x12: Cas being phased at Dean for wanting to put himself in the box with Michael forever

- 14x14: Cas is the only Dean will let talk to him about Michael and be honest about how Dean feels

- 14x14: “No, it’s on us.”

- 14x14: Cas’s voice breaking when he talks about the possibility of Dean dying one day.

- 14x18: The pure self loathing in Cas’s eyes when he feels like he failed Dean by not telling him about Jack’s soul.

- 15x2: “You asked ‘what about all of this is real?’ We are.” THE MOST ROMANTIC LINE EVER. (Plus later Eileen and Sam have the same conversation but they get to kiss because homophobia)

- 15x9- 20:00 Dean said that they lost everyone they cared about, then added Cas specifically. Then he says “I had to bury him” not “we”

- 15x9- 23:00 Dean cries when he can’t find Cas. Then he prays to him and apologizes for letting him go. He falls to his knees praying to him and fully crying

- 15x12: “I created the world.” *shows Destiel*

- 15x15: This time when Dean sees Cas leaving the bunker, he stops him. (In reference to Cas saying “you didn’t stop me” when Dean got mad at him for leaving)

- 15x16: This is the the only version of Cas that rebelled for Dean. This universe is literally being saved repeatedly because of Cas’s love for Dean

- 15x18: CAS CONFESSES HIS LOVE TO DEAN then goes to mega hell for being gay

Anyway, Cas loves Dean and Dean LOVES HIM BACK, OKAY?!?!? Feel free to add more

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mysticalrambling · 3 years

Note

Hey there😄😄I hope you're doing fine....I love your fanfictionss just too much and *adorable addition* is just my top favorite atory of yours😍😍😍. Yesterday you said i could make a request too so i was wondering if you can take in a request??😅😅 which is a Steve Rogers x reader request, which I had in mind for a long long time...I have made this request to some authors before but some of them never responded or just weren't interested in writing it so you can too decline but hear me out please😅😅... Ok so here goes nothing....

**Steve and reader being in an arranged marriage and steve is very rude towards the reader and would blame her, that due to their marriage he is not with peggy and how she irritates him, but still the reader did sweet things for him, made him food, tried to make him happy and tried to make their marriage work...but one day when she has enough of all the hurt, she stop doing stuff for steve and starts ignoring him..and also steve sees that peggy didn't love him but only his status as Captain America and was happy with someone else..then he realises his mistake and felt bad for treating his wife poorly...he tries to make up things with her but she now ignores him...His team members berate him for ignoring his wife and he gets jealous seeing someone else making a move on her.....and now he has to work his ass off to win back his wife...And can you end it with a happy ending and can it be long also? please🥺🥺

Arrange Marriage (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve and you are married because the government wants Captain America to be a family ma. Steve is not happy with the arrangement and thinks he is in love with Peggy. You try to make your marriage work but he insults you every chance he gets. However, everything works out eventually.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

"I prepared some dinner for you," You spoke out when you saw your husband rushing towards his room. That's right, his room. Even though you were married for about a month now, you have never been in the same room for more than ten minutes.

"I am not hungry." He was quick to dismiss you and went straight to his room. You just looked at the muddy footsteps that were the only evidence that Steve was here. He was on one of his missions with your dad, Nick Fury. Your step dad, actually, because he rescued you from one of hydra base camps when you were eight years old. Those times were something that you have repressed in your mind and you would never think about them.

A few tears escaped your eyes when you kept all of the untouched food in the fridge which you spent hours preparing. You understood that you were not your husband's first choice but you both had an obligation to try to make it work. But lately, it was like you were all alone in this relationship and you felt so worthless.

Wiping the tears away, you made your way to the master bedroom because you had enough. If years of therapy have taught you anything, it is that no one had the right to make you feel that way. "Come in!" His pissed off voice filtered through the door and you took a shaky breath before entering.

"Hi. I just wanted to say that I prepared all of your favorite food and you didn't even look at it." You spoke timidly.

"I told you I was not hungry." He said from the changing closet and came out in his sweats. Looking tired was something not new for Captain America now a days and everyone at work was also starting to notice the change. "Why are we pretending to be like a normal, married couple?"

"Why can't we be one? I am trying here." He looked anywhere but at you because he knew that he would see those damp eyes. That was enough to make him feel guilty and he wanted to prevent that.

"You know why. I am in love with Peggy." The most hurtful thing that your life partner can say to you and Steve just did without taking your feelings into account.

"Then you could have said something before we got married." Panic was slowly setting in because you realised that you were stuck in a marriage that is never going to work out.

"The whole government was pushing me towards this marriage and Peggy was still not ready for that kind of commitment. I was stuck with you." Steve knew that the statement hurt you the moment the words escaped his lips. This was a revelation that rocked your world. And not in a great way, might you add. "You could have rejected the proposal."

"Do you think it was that simple for me? Dad has done so much for me and this was the one thing that he asked off me so I did not refuse. I thought that you agreed to this marriage and we could work it out in the future." Those dreams were being crushed right now and you knew that this marriage was doomed. It was like a hit to your gut and you felt caged in this room with your husband.

"Well, we can not." Leaving the room, you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep because there was nothing else you could add to that conversation.

After sometime, Steve came out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he took out the food to heat it up and realised that you made all of his favorite food. He was never going to admit it but he loved your cooking. Every night he comes in to the kitchen to eat all the food that you prepared for him. However, he realised that you didn't eat any of the food so you probably went to bed hungry. The guilt was eating him up and he felt helpless because he wanted to think that he didn't care about you. But sometimes, you don't even realise when a person is warming their way into your heart.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Steve was home today and you were going out of your mind with boredom so you thought of asking him for some company.

"I am not in the mood." He was quick to dismiss the idea and turned around in the hallway while still scrolling through his phone.

"I just thought-"

"You thought nothing. Why are you so clingy? I told you I do not want to work on this relationship. You are the reason that I can not be with the love of my life. Please just leave me alone.” He rudely interrupted you because he was not in the mood to interact with anyone. Seeing a picture of Peggy on instagram, he became aware of the fact that he could not be with her because he is a married man now.

Peggy Carter had been the first person that he saw when he woke up from the ice after 40 years. She helped him to become Captain America and she was the most important person in his eyes. Those few months were really difficult for Steve but she helped him get through them. Peggy quickly became his girlfriend and when the councilmen wanted him to get married, he was quick to propose. But she told him that she was not ready to take that step and she backed off. He was still pining over her and it was not fair to blame you for everything but he needed to do that to make himself feel better.

“I am sorry.”

“(Y/N)-” You left before he could say anything else. There is only so much a person can tolerate.

Over the course of a few days, Steve noticed that you were indeed leaving him alone. You were not there to welcome him home when he got back from his missions and give him a massage even after he told you not to. You did not cook from him anymore and he really missed it. He loved the fact that you always made his favorites and you never even had to ask him. You haven’t talked to him since the night he yelled at you. Guilt was an emotion that he often felt whenever he saw you.

“So there is a charity event that we both are invited too. It’s black tie optional.” He leaned against the door as he watched you doing laundry.

“Okay, I will be ready.” These were the only five words that you have said to him in the past two weeks and they were not enough. He has missed you and your conversations. The house was too quiet now a days and he didn’t like it one bit. But he was too stubborn to be the one to break the wall.

“You have to wear a dress. Many people will be watching you because you are Captain America’s wife so please do not go with your sense of style.” He wanted to slap himself in the face when he saw you freeze. Why couldn’t he just have said something nice to her? Steve didn’t know how to talk to you without messing it up.

“Okay.” Sighing, he left the room and sulked in his bedroom for the remaining day.

You were never going to say it out loud, but you were really hurt by what he said today and that day. None of it was your fault and you have been thinking about ending this marriage. However, the thing was that you made a commitment and you were never the one to back out from things. You quickly finished doing the laundry and went to take a shower.

“Are you ready?” Steve fixed his bow tie before you opened the room and he was left speechless. You in a red dress with a slit running through the side was a side of you that he had never seen. So bold and outgoing.

“Yes. Just let me quickly apply my lipstick.” Watching you apply a red lipstick left him in a trance. His wife was truly something unique but he just ignored it. Shaking himself out of it, he thought about Peggy and how he loves her. You both left afterwards and the car ride was quiet with the exception of a few stolen glances.

‘We have to go hand in hand and smile for the red carpet.”

“Okay.”

You were always a little scared to walk in to these kinds of events and so you tightly clutched on to your husband’s arm. Steve knew that you were a little bit of an introvert so he squeezed your hand in response.

“I am going to go meet some councilmen.”

“I’ll be by the bar.” Making your way towards the makeshift bar, you ordered a martini and just sat there mixing your drink. On the other hand, Steve made polite talk with the councilmen and then excused himself to the washroom. He heard someone mention his name on his way to the washroom and that piqued his interest.

“Come on, I was never in love with Steve. He was my assignment from the S.H.I.E.L.D and that was it. I had to help Captain America adjust to this life. I love you, Oliver and that is a fact.” Steve quickly left before he could hear anything else.

Honestly, he couldn’t believe that all those months spent with Peggy were just a lie and he was ruining his marriage because of her. He thought that it would hurt a lot but it was kind of a relief. He was now realising that he was never in love with her. It was kind of an obligation for him because he thought that he somehow owed it to Penny. But he didn’t and now he can finally give his marriage a fair try and not feel guilty about it.

“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar all alone?” Turning around, you saw Bucky with a smile adorning his face.

“Hi. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you.” You hugged your friend because he was one of the people that you were close to. You actually missed him in these past few months and were glad to see him right now. Getting in to a conversation was way easier than you thought.

“Hey Buck. What are you doing?” Your husband was quick to place his hands on the small of your back and you silently choked on his intimate gesture.

“I am fine, Stevie. Just catching up with (Y/N).”

“Oh okay. Would you mind if I take my wife to the dance floor?”

“No worries.” Silently taking you to the middle of the room, you both got to dancing and your breath hitched when he was so close to you right now. His cologne had taken over all your senses and you were drunk on him. God, it was pathetic but you could not help yourself.

“I want to try to work on our marriage.” You didn’t know if you were hearing things right now so you muttered a silent, “Come again.” He silently chuckled and repeated the sentence again. Looking at him, you stopped dancing and left the room.

“Why did you leave?” He found you at the balcony just staring at the stars with your hands wrapped around yourself. “It’s freezing.”

“Why? Why would you say something like that?” You whispered silently.

“I mean it. I want to try.”

“Don’t you love Peggy?”

“I have realised that I didn’t love her. It was like an obligation to me and I like you.”

“I can’t do this. You insulted me every chance you got and you made me think so low of myself.”

“I know and I am so sorry for that. I will spend my life apologising to you for it. Please, give me a chance.” There were some tears in your eyes and everything was becoming blurry.

“I can’t do that. I will always be your second choice.”

“No, you are not. Trust me, I have had feelings for you but I have been trying to repress them from the very start.” He tried to touch you but you took a step back.

“If we try this relationship thing out, will you promise me that you will tell me when you want to get out. We can get divorced right then and there.”

“I don’t want to be divorced and I will spend my life making it up to you.” He was quick to kiss you and it was way better than your wedding ceremony kiss. “I like you, (Y/N).”

“I like you too, Steve.” You went in to kiss him again and were glad that this marriage was going to work.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile

Like, comment and reblog.

._._._._.

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erwinsvow · 3 years

Text

𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬.

summary: your boyfriend, reiner, has always been possessive. you never minded it much, though.

warnings: college!au, rough sex, sir kink, grinding/teasing, doggy style, creampie, dacryphilia, reiner is a tease, angry reiner/upset with reader, jealousy, reiner treats you like a rag doll but who's complaining

the party’s in full swing, hoards of college kids hammered off of cheap beer and dancing to loud music. you sit on the edge of the couch, trying your best to avoid the couple going at it on the sofa seats next to you. you’d leave to give them some privacy, despite the fact that they’re in front of a hundred other people, but there’s nowhere else to sit.

and so, not ready to give up your chance to rest your sore feet, you sit there and wait patiently. your ankles are crossed as you finish off the last of your soda, looking around and realizing that you might be the only sober person here. you’re fiddling around now for no reason, with no one to speak to, adjusting the skirt of your dress and twirling a piece of your hair with your finger.

from across the room, with a red solo cup filled with the very same cheap beer in his hand, eren’s eyes land on you. a pretty girl, all alone at a party, with an empty drink. he was raised right, so knows that’s close to a crime.

at least that’s what he’s telling himself as he makes his way over to the couch in the corner, eyes burning holes through you as your eyes glance around the room, avoiding looking at the couple next to you.

eren turns to the couple first, one sharp glance making the boy alert, and pulling away from his girlfriend.

“hey, floch, go roofie your date somewhere else. i’m sitting here now,” he says firmly, causing floch and the girl to take off scrambling.

you glance up at the stranger who approached you with thankful eyes.

“you didn’t have to do that, but thank you anyways,” you say, finally sinking into the comfort of the couch.

“of course i did. that idiot would’ve given all these people here a show if someone didn’t stop him.”

you let out a laugh at his words, glancing back down at your shoes as you debate if it was a good idea to keep talking to him.

“i’m eren, by the way.”

“nice to meet you, eren,” you reply, once again gazing around the room and avoiding his eyes. eren waits another moment before speaking again.

“and you are-?” he questions, intrigued that you weren’t engaging in the conversation. he enjoys the chase, anyways.

“not interested,” you say with a gentle smile, trying not to seem rude despite the fact that you’re sure of eren’s intentions.

“oh, is that so? well, i think i can change that.”

“i’m sure you’ll try, but i don’t want you to waste your time. i’m sure there’s plenty of girls here who will talk to you willingly, so thank you for the seat but-”

“can i get you a drink?” he interjects, taking a long sip of his beer and wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “beer? shots? i can go find some of the good stuff, if you want.”

“i’m okay, eren,” you say, a little annoyed and clearly a little anxious.

“oh, come on. it’s not right for a pretty girl to have an empty cup at a party. it’s like the first commandment.”

“i think that might be blasphemy.”

“oh, whatever, the second commandment, then. i mean, would you rather sit here and be all alone?” he questions, leaning back into the seat.

“who said she was here alone?” a deep voice says from around you. you look up to see your boyfriend, reiner, with two cups in his hand. he does not look happy.

“braun,” eren addresses, looking up at the blond from his seat and not adjusting his posture at all. you’d expected eren to at least be a little intimidated at the sight of your looming boyfriend, as most guys usually were, but he looks more amused than anything else. “who would’ve thought you’d go and get yourself such a pretty date,” he says with a smirk. his eyes are still on you though, raking up and down your figure and focusing on your exposed legs.

reiner puts down the two cups in his hand a little too hard, the liquid sloshing around at the top and landing on the surface on the small table in front of you.

you glance up a little hesitant at reiner, knowing the effect eren’s words are having on him.

“she’s not my date, she’s my girlfriend, asshole,” reiner replies, bringing his arm around your shoulder and holding you closely to him. you play right into it, leaning into him and smiling back cutely at eren.

“sorry, did i not mention that?” you say sweetly, as eren’s eyes react to the sight in front of him. he lets out a low whistle, standing up and lifting a cup from the table, taking a big sip. “well then, guess i underestimated you after all, braun. call me when you get bored of him, baby,” he says, before walking away.

you feel your mouth drop open at the audacity of his words, his implication. you know reiner won’t take it well either, feeling yourself grab for his hand before he can follow eren to pummel him.

“reiner, baby, don’t get mad, he’s just an asshole-” you begin, before reiner’s head turns back to look at you.

you saw a whole host of emotions in his eyes, which were usually calm and sweet and looking at you with all the love in the world. but now, in the dim lighting of the party, they were almost glowing with anger and rage, and something else you couldn’t figure out, something akin to a primal look that raised all the hairs on your neck and sent a shiver through your body.

you feel reiner’s hand tighten on yours, as he leads you away from the party and to an empty room somewhere down the hall. you’re not exactly sure where, since it’s your first time in this stranger’s house, but as reiner puts you on the bed and locks the door, you can hardly care.

he looms over you, caging you in and making you feel completely submissive as his strong arms hover near your head.

“you think it’s funny talking to yeager? letting him think you don’t belong to me?” reiner says in a deep, low voice that makes you press your thighs together tightly. it doesn’t take much, if anything, from reiner to turn you on. his possessiveness only adds fuel to fire for you, sometimes.

“no- no, reiner, i would never-” you start, shaking your head dumbly and stumbling around your words as reiner pulls off his shirt, revealing his toned chest. your hands have a mind of their own, moving to grab his shoulders as you normally do, but reiner’s quicker than you, taking your two hands and pinning them above your head roughly.

“you’re using the wrong name, baby. you’re just begging to get punished today, aren’t you, you little slut?” reiner says, eyes looking over your body intensely and making you squirm. you’re uncomfortable with his gaze because you know what he’s thinking.

“i’m sorry, sir,” you mewl back, trying to move your hands from the harsh position they’re in, but to no avail. reiner’s grip is air-tight.

“i can’t even say you’re a good girl tonight, baby, because you’re not. now i see why you chose such a slutty little dress to wear tonight. you just wanted attention, didn’t you?”

“no, no, sir, just you- i just want you-” you say back, desperate for any contact and bucking your hips up uselessly.

“i don’t think you deserve me since you’ve been such a slutty girl.” his words are harsh, making your eyes tear up despite how unbelievably wanton you feel underneath his body. your head feels almost dizzy, overcome with so many different emotions.

tears are always reiner’s breaking point. he can never deny you once he sees those pretty eyes of yours well up and become watery just from his words and touches. and despite how badly you need to be taught a lesson, he knows he’s gonna break soon.

“i-i’m so sorry, sir, please- please touch me, i’m begging sir, i’ll be a good girl, i promise- oh!” you’re cut off as reiner’s other hand cups your pussy, palm against your clit and making you grind your hips against his hand desperately. he tears your panties off quickly, discarding them in the stranger’s room without a thought.

“tell me how that feels baby,” reiner says, releasing his hand from holding your wrists to grope at your chest, pulling down the dress just enough to free your tits.

“so good, sir, oh-!” your words fall apart as he continues his motions. you’re so desperate for his touch, to be filled up by him, you’re not aware of how loud you’re being and you certainly don’t care. reiner holds down your hips and moves his hand roughly against your clit, as you feel your body tense up with a strong heat in your core.

“cum for me, baby,” you hear reiner say next to your ear, increasing his pace as you feel the heat in your stomach expand and fill your entire body, the waves of your orgasm washing over you as you scream out reiner’s name.

you’re panting out, tongue lolling out and limbs feeling like jelly despite how reiner’s not even remotely done with you. he flips you over quickly, putting your head down and ass up as he pushes up your dress to expose your gushing cunt to him.

you’re still trying to catch your breath when he pushes into your tight hole slowly, without any warning and causing you to scream out again.

“sir-!” you moan, feeling reiner slide in and out of your wetness at a bruising pace. you feel his balls slap against your pussy, adding to the intense stimulation you feel and curling your toes as he continues. “please- please! i-i, can’t-” you cry out, unsure of what you were pleading with him for.

“what do you need, baby? don’t you want my cock? you want me to stop?” he says, not easing up on his motions. he’s enjoying every minute of having you fucked stupid from his cock.

“no, no- don’t stop, no!” you moan. you let out a squeal every time reiner thrusts.

“such a good girl, takin’ me so well, baby,” reiner says, sending the praise straight to your head and making you feel dizzy as you feel his fingers on your clit.

“i love you, reiner, i love you-” you hiccup, gripping your hand tightly on his as he increases his pace and his fingers at the same time, sending you into your second orgasm. you’re almost screaming now, clenching down tightly on his cock and squirming within reiner’s tight grip as you feel the coil in your stomach snap and heat spread all through your body again.

reiner’s increased pace only lasts a little while longer, his hips stuttering and him cumming inside you with a loud moan. as you feel the hot ropes of cum settle inside your throbbing cunt, you pant and keep a tight grip on reiner as he pulls out and lays you on his chest carefully.

the sheets on the stranger’s bed are certainly ruined, and so is your make-up and hair. you can’t even imagine what you look like, or what your dress is covered in, but you don’t really care.

all you can think about is reiner’s hands wrapped around you and his lips on yours as he pulls you into a deep kiss.

“have you learned your lesson, baby?” reiner asks. you think back quickly on how reiner hadn’t even wanted to go to the party, but you had insisted, and how you had picked out the shortest dress you could find, and how you didn’t walk away from eren when you knew reiner was coming back.

“yes, sir.”

#reiner brainrot #i literally wrote this in an hour im so sorry if its a disappointment #reiner braun #reiner braun smut #reiner smut #reiner x reader #reiner braun imagine #attack on titan #snk #reiner imagine #fics #reiner x you

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miyuwuki · 3 years

Note

so nice to see an active knb blog hehe not sure if you write for kasamatsu but!! we all know he's the shy type around girls, but in my head he's VERY confident around his girlfriend,, would you be willing to write an nsfw one shot about this kasamatsu 😩

I ADORE KASAMATSU I CANNOT WAIT TO WRITE THIS EEEEEE

warnings: nsfw stuff. sex, oral, etc. minors dni (18+)

kasamatsu yukio x reader

conviction for you

everyone wondered how you got with kasamatsu; the man who was solely terrified of women and avoided interacting with them at every cause. he would even struggle talking to the female teachers and get kise to speak to them instead just because his jitters were that much more powerful than him. but you’ve admired kasamatsu for a while, and you knew all he needed was a little opening up to, and fortunately you were that person for him.

at first he didn’t even look your way, too afraid to seem like a fool in front of you. but you kept bothering him everyday, and as he grew more and more comfortable with you, it took all his guts and pride to ask you out. of course you said yes, but the school was even more surprised than you were. kasamatsu with a girl? please. kise couldn’t believe it either but he was so happy for his captain. but something was rather odd ever since you two became a couple; although kasamatsu was still nervous around girls, his confidence level was to the max with you. when you were talking to your friends, he would come up to you and kiss your forehead before heading to his class. after basketball practices, he would hug you in front of his team, not even the slightest bit fazed. and when he spoke to you, there were no signs of stutters or jitters anymore— just normal kasamatsu.

honestly you were quite content with his confidence around you. it just means he trusts you that much, and he was willing to walk the extra mile for you. to make things even better, it turned you on, and he took advantage of that.

which is why you were on your knees taking down kasamatsu’s cock.

“mm, can you take it down even deeper y/n?” kasamatsu grunted, getting a good grip on your hair. “i know you can.”

you gripped onto his thighs tighter and went down until the tip of your nose was touching his neatly trimmed hairs. he groaned, feeling the tightness at the back of your throat, his cock throbbing against it. “shit.. y/n. i’m gonna move.”

when it came to sexuality in the beginning of your guys’ relationship, kasamatsu was still nervous about making the first move. he was scared of making you uncomfortable or hurting you; but with each minute passing, he was unable to hold himself back, craving you in every single way. well, you weren’t complaining— no one knew this side of him but you.

kasamatsu thrusted into your mouth which made tears form in the corner of your eyes. your eyes rolled back, focusing on the feeling of his cock, trying to swallow more of him. you enjoyed that feeling, and you didn’t want it to end. you started to moan each time his tip touched your throat, which sent vibrations through kasamatsu. grunts and moans only left his lips, with a few of your name in between. “i’m gonna cum in your mouth, y/n..” you nodded, exciting to feel his warm seed fill your lips. with one final thrust, he pulled out, leaving only his tip in your mouth and shot his warm juices into it. you moaned louder, milking out every single drop and swallowing it all at once. kasamatsu panted, coming down from his high and massaged your scalp after. “that was amazing.” you looked up at him and smiled, leaving your lips on his cock, hesitant to let go. he pulled you up and placed a firm kiss and slowly pushed you down on his bed, pinning your hands above your head.

you grinned at your boyfriend, admiring how comfortable he was with you and happy whenever you guys were together like this. “what?” he asked.

“i remember when you couldn’t look me in the eye when we started high school.” you said, tracing out his facials with your eyes.

he chuckled and dipped down to your ear, “is it bad to be proud because of someone like you?” then further nibbled on it, soft breaths escaping your mouth as it was a sensitive spot for you. you turned your head to the side, indicating that you wanted him to move to your neck which he did, sucking and biting on your flesh. you can start to feel your hood getting heated and damp down there, making your lust growing by the second. kasamatsu noticed and with one hand, he pulled down your under garments half way and slowly rubbed your lower lips with his fingers. you shivered, feeling the calluses on his hands hit your wet walls.

“yukio,” you breathed, trying to grind down to get more friction. “more..”

he brought his fingers up and licked them, smirking at your neediness. he went down, slowly rubbing at your entrance with his own, whispering, “i’m going to make you feel so good.” and with that, he pushed forward, going slow so you can adjust.

“don’t worry,” kasamatsu groaned halfway, “the pain will be over soon.” and eventually, his entire cock was buried in your folds, staying there for a while to enjoy the warmth of your insides.

“move, yukio.” you mumbled, heavily needing the friction. you didn’t have to say anything more as he slowly began to rut into you over and over again. the room was filled with your names and the skin slapping against each other, the sounds getting wetter and wetter each time. kasamatsu sped up the pace and continuously hit that sweet little spot in the midst of your walls, making you see stars in his dark room.

“keep hitting there,” you moaned, gripping on his bedsheets to keep you in reality. “it feels so good.” this drove him mad, you praising him as he grasped your hips and pounded into you, watching his cock disappear in and out. his movements never faltered and even switched to a different angle, until you felt that build up forming in your stomach; the feeling was so tingly you knew it was gonna be a good one.

“i’m gonna cum, yukio,”

“let’s cum together.”

and so, both of your names left each other’s mouth, your climaxes both hitting each other at the same time. he went down to kiss you, forcing his tongue into your mouth as you both calmed down from your highs. a long whine escaped your lips as he pulled out.

“that was so good,” you said, rubbing his sweaty back. he kissed your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. “of course, anything for you.”

“can you do me a favour though?”

“hm?”

“i need you to give my notes to yui-chan tomorrow. i have some things to do.”

you laughed as kasamatsu tensed up in your arms, nervous to be giving notes to a girl.

“y-you do it, dummy!”

oh boy i’m not sure if this is what you expected so i’m sorry shdjdjd but i hope you enjoy! i love kasamatsu

#kuroko’s basketball #the basketball which kuroko plays #kuroko no basket #knb #kuroko no basket x reader #knb x you #knb x reader #kise ryouta #ryouta kise #kasamatsu yukio #kasamatsu x reader #kaijou #kaijo high

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 3 years

Text

Meet cute

summary: going through harry and Loralie's normal day... until Harry meets someone.

warnings/ disclaimers: none :)

“Daddy!” Harry hears, tearing his head up from his big metal desk where he was looking over his students' art work. He teaches art at a primary school and is lucky enough to work in a school that has care for younger kids, so his daughter Loralie attends the preschool there. “Darling, why are you out of class already? The first bell hasn't rung yet.” At this school they have a three bell system. The first is for kids who ride the bus home, then the ones who get picked up by a parent or walk home, and the third bell is for kids who live further out and take the bus- the buses come back from their first trip and come around for them to take them to their long trip back home. The teacher's assistant always escorts Loralie to Harry's classroom after the first bell.

“I'm done!” she says, waving a bye to the teachers assistant whale Harry thanks her. He pulls her up on a chair next to the wooden stool he was sitting in, pulling her paisley printed backpack off of her and unzipping it to look through her folder. He looks over his class (full of seven and eight year olds) making sure they are all doing what they should be- reading a library book while they wait for their number bell to ring. He looks through some of the work she had done, the two pockets sorted into one that had her work of colorings, trying to write her name, and crafts. The other pocket filled with papers her and Harry needed to study together, her ABC’s, her numbers up to ten, colors, and notes to parents.

Harry gasps dramatically, pulling his classes' attention away from their books. “You got two golden stars today?!” he asks Loralie, making her nod, giggling. In her class they have a reward system, if the teacher or teachers assistant catches them doing a good deed they will reward them with a golden star sticker to encourage them to keep doing it, all the teachers here do it with the younger kids. Today Loralie was caught helping a kid pick up his crayons and then sat with a lonely kid while they were on the story time rug- now Harry is having a total proud dad moment reading the note her teacher had written him.

Just then the bell rings, “have a good night everyone!” Harry calls out to the first-bellers. He turns back to his daughter seeing her cover her ears from the loud ring of the school bell. Harry laughs, pulling Loralie to sit on his lap, ignoring the art he was working on. “So, tell me all about your day, baby.” Harry says, one arm wrapped her back and the other pulled her backpack down and shoving her folder and lunchbox into it. Loralie babbles on about her day for a while, ignoring the other listening ears and telling her daddy everything that had happened. She goes on about story time and how they had read one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish by dr.seuss, how they sang some songs, and how they colored until the third bell rings leaving Harry and Loralie all alone.

“We can't go home just get, baby. I've got a few things to do before we can leave.” Harry informs his daughter, pulling his earlier classes paintings off of the drying rack and stacking them so he could hand them out easier tomorrow. Loralie has no response, instead getting in Harry's big metal desk drawers and pulling out the couple of toys she kept here for times like this when Harry kept them after school a bit longer than she wanted. Harry lets Loralie help him when he puts the watercolor paints in the back storage room.

He hears feet on the steps leading to the art room making him peek his head out, reaching out for Loralie so she would grab his hand. He hears a bit of whispering, declaring it safe while he clasps his hand with Loralie and walks out. “Hi, could I help you?” Harry asks, looking at the mother and son. The woman politely smiles, her hand resting on her toddlers back- Harry knows him, he teaches the preschoolers art every Wednesday and he just had this little boy in his class today so he must be in Loralies class.

“Um, he left his folder down here today. It's got the baby shark stuff on it and it says Milo on it in gold sharpie. Mrs. Hannah had told me that it would probably be down here.” the woman says, their children apparently knowing each other because they are already talking. Harry was right, he is in Loralies class. Harry turns back to his desk with a smile on his face, “here.” he says, walking back. “I was gonna give it to Mrs. Hannah so he could get it back first thing in the morning.”

She smiles, taking it from his hands. She notes how his hands are rather large and stained in different colors of paint, even a couple of his rings have splatters of paint over them- but they all seem to be to be only for fashion not a wedding ring. “Thank you. And Mrs. Hannah told me what Loralie did today, she's such a sweetheart.” Harry furrows his eyebrows a bit, confused, “oh! Sorry, she sat with him during story time. He's kinda shy so it was really nice of her, she seems to really get him to branch out.” she looks down at her son and smiles seeing him talk to the girl.

“Oh, yeah. Thank you.” Harry smiles, finally letting go of the folder. She smiles, turning away and pulling Milo up on her hip, bidding the both of them a good bye. “Oh, I never caught your name.” Harry says, turning his chin up. She turned her head back smiling, “Y/n.” Harry smiles at her teasing tone, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink. “I'm Harry.”

Eventually Harry takes Loralie home, bringing them back to their small home. Harry knows its small, it got two bedrooms- one that isn't even used because Loralie sleeps in his bed with him every night (he's a single parents and he's not taking anyone home- it's just what happens), a small cramped kitchen, only one full bathroom then just a half one in the master bedroom, a normal sized living room, then a small dining room. It's not perfect but it's perfect for them, there are only two people, one man and a mini monster running around.

“Dinner then a bath, my love. You know the drill.” Harry hollers over to Loralie who is laying in the living room and playing with her stuffed animals while paw patrol plays in the background. He pushes over the markers on the table, setting down her plate waiting for her to crawl up and eat what he had prepared for her. She joins him soon, digging into the pesto pasta and fruit he prepared. “So, what was the best part of your day, baby?” Harry asks, smiling at his daughter and setting down his own plate while she sips at her sippy cup.

“Seeing daddy!” she yells, making Harry laugh. He smiles kissing her nose, “My favorite part was seeing you*, munchkin.” He smiles, making her squeal, shoving fruit in her mouth. Harry kisses her hand looking at her in adoration, he's so happy he has his little girl.

“Bubbles, daddy.” Loralie says, collecting the bubbles from her bath into her hand and blowing them. Harry nods, smiling, continuing to lather her hair. “What do you think about Milo, baby?” He asks, not being able to get his mind off of what had happened just before him and Loralie left.

Loralie looks up at him, “Milo?” She asks, her cheeks turning blush from the bath. Harry nods, giving her a warm smile while he cups his hand in front of her forehead to prevent any shampoo getting in her eyes before he starts to wash it out. “Nice.” She says, Harry nodding his head along with her.

Harry wishes he got to know Milo's mother a bit more. She seemed like someone that he would like. She was so sweet and her teasing tone made him even more attracted to her, she was gorgeous, and not to mention he didn't see a ring on her finger. Harry continues her bath, pulling her out and changing her into her pajamas. His mind wanders off a bit, thinking about the pretty woman he met today. He hopes he will see her again and little does he know she hopes she will see him again.

“Let's go to bed, baby.”

tag list: @romionefp @iaalien @hopeyoustaythenight @evanjh if you dont want to be on the tag list for this series please let me know but if you want to be on it please let me know as well !!!

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hongjoongscafe · 3 years

Text

Stay with me

Part: 3.5 {serieslist}

| In the Hongjoong's mind|

Pairing: hamsterhybrid!hongjoong×reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: she couldn't help but adopt the sweet and shy but stressed hybrid. Will he be able to open up?

Word count: 1.2k+

Masterpost

ATEEZ masterlist

*Do NOT repost plz*

Hongjoong was in habit of making tea or coffee or meals for everyone by himself. He did not expect you to get up and make him a cup of tea but you did. When he took a sip, he forgot all his past trauma and pain for a sec. He felt light as a cloud.

He felt your gaze at him, you were feeling... Relaxed. But as we all know, he was a victim of so many dreadful things, so he ignored the feeling, why would he take such a risky step. He was not sure of you yet. After all, it's his first day with you.

~~~

Wooyoung was a good company. He was fun and Hongjoong felt a bit better since he was a hybrid too. They got along well.

For Hongjoong, it was a golden chance to know more about you. He was observing everything about you when around Wooyoung. How you treated him... How you let him go through the cabinets... How he asked you to make a cuppa for him just casually.

You felt nice and close and comfy around your friends. Hongjoong started to wonder if he is ever gonna get treated that way. Like he is just a normal hybrid, living, more like a surviving, his life. He also wanted to be careless around someone, demanding something and not get beaten up because he is a 'slave'.

When you and Seonghwa went outside, he was a little upset because it was his first day and you already left him behind without thinking about how he is gonna feel around a not-so-familiar hybrid. It was even sadder because he knew that you knew he was a stressed hybrid, stressed hamster hybrid.

In the meantime, Wooyoung was still a nice and decent company. He mostly talked about his relationship with Seonghwa. Hongjoong found it cute that Wooyoung and Seonghwa had a pretty relationship.

But then Hongjoong remembered the conversation he had with Wooyoung

"And then we surprised her by kissing and the look on her face was like, incredible" Hongjoong nodded with a faint smile. He really started to adore the pair. But then Wooyoung took a small pause and started "you know when Seonghwa adopted me, a week later y/n shifted here and then a couple of days later we met at the bonfire event, for the first time. After that three of us became friends. We hang out a lot, we are usually laying at each others' houses. Whenever she bakes something delicious, she invites us over, sometimes, we even help her through the process. It's always fun. She is kind and helpful and friendly and much more of good stuff. As much I am lucky to have Seonghwa, she is not less than a blessing. She takes care of me when Seonghwa is not around. She makes sure that I am provided with everything I need, from water to food to a comfy bed and comfort… as much I am lucky to have Seonghwa as my owner and mate, I am happy for you to have her as your owner. I hope you know you got lucky…" Wooyoung's face told him that he was serious. The feelings in his voice did not go missing.

Hongjoong heard him with full attention. He felt a weird feeling of contentment. He was not used to it. He made sure to fit all the information in his hamster brain. "I-I, hmm. I am happy for you a-and… Seonghwa" he didn't know how to reply to that, tho.

"I hope you know that you are in good hands Hongjoong. I really do," Wooyoung smiled.

Hongjoong was laying in his bed clad in some comfy pajamas when he was thinking about all this. Then he remembered how he felt your tears around you and not to forget Seonghwa. He was hurt by the fact that you cried, not because you cried but more like 'she cried because she does not like me and regrets having me' kinda hurt. Him and his paranoid brain. He felt his eyes sting with tears. But he blinked them away.

Then at the dinner table, Hongjoong thought that everyone is going to make him sit on the floor or just simply ask him to go somewhere else and wait until they all are done. But that didn't happen. When he was standing near the table waiting for further instruction, you came from the kitchen holding a serving bowl filled with mouth-watering food and asked him to take a seat and get ready to have dinner. He was looking at you like you told him that his parents were aliens and you are their drug dealer. But he took the seat.

You served him fresh food like FRESH HOMEMADE FOOD WHICH YOU COOKED AND SERVED IT TO HIM. Which was not even his dream since he thought he didn't deserve it. Thanks to the old owner and the people at that illegal "stress releasing" place. You didn't only gave him food but in proper portions. Equal to everyone else. Like seriously. He was just a pinch close to breaking down then and there. It was like everything beyond the dream.

Hongjoong smiled and petted his tummy with satisfaction. It was the first time that he ate properly and not to forget that extra portion you forced on his plate. He also remembered how Wooyoung was taking food from Seonghwa's plate, well that didn't surprise him but when he took a piece of something from your plate and you just smiled and gave him a little more of whatever it was to him, made Hongjoong wonder if you would do the same for him.

Then, he started running his hands in his hair. He closed his eyes and imagined as if it was your hand in his hair. He ran his hand just like you did with Wooyoung's head. Hongjoong could feel the rabbit getting relaxed under your touch immediately. Hongjoong is a hybrid too. He too liked when someone pets his hair. The difference was that he never knew how it felt since no one did it for him. If there was something he wanted you to do, the first thing would definitely be petting his head.

Hongjoong turned to his side and the fact that they were going to the movies this week made him a little excited. He had never been to the movies. He felt a warm feeling about the fact that you were going to pay for his ticket. Would anyone else do that for him? No. He knew that and that too very well.

'Is she really that good? Should I give her a chance? Even if she turns out to be like others, there is nothing I'm gonna lose anyway' he thought.

Hongjoong felt bad about running away after Seonghwa and Wooyoung left. He didn't mean to run like that. But the poor hybrid was overwhelmed by all of the kindness. He wasn't used to it. He just wanted to get away and clear the mess which his thoughts created.

After few minutes he sensed you outside his room. Along with your scent, there was hesitation as well. He knew why there was hesitation. But then it faded because you went back to your room. He thought that you could have barged into his room and kicked him in the guts and ask him to do whatever stuff you wanted him to do or ask whatever you wanted just like everybody did, but you didn't. Because it was you.

Just like you, he couldn't sleep that night because he knew his heart was melting. Melting really fast.

. . . . .

Sanaa's note:

I know I said "I will update in November" but I wrote half of this part before and I got some free time in hand so I wrote the rest of it. I hope you liked it. It is just about Hongjoong. Also, Wooyoung is so thoughtful. The main update will be provided in the month of November *lol the professional line*so stay tuned my dear readers. And also I hope you guys are fit and fine, if not, everything will be alright just be strong. Feedback is always appreciated. Last but not least, the behavior of all the characters is visualized.

Tag list:

@sungiesangel @untitled76543 @bbc-minji-oc @tenelkadjowrites @hongjoongtrasher @paralumanniluna @shiningstar-byulxx

@ryo-84 @yunhosleftpinky @damselindistressanu

*lemme know if you wanna be tagged*

*original pictures are not mine. I only edited them*

Have a nice day/night💓💜

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

Text

Soup & Cuddles

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: N/A, just fluff Summary: Bucky had a particularly rough mission but you’re there to welcome him home with a nice warm meal and comforting arms. A/N: ooof weird ending I’m sorry I sometimes don’t know how to end stuff lmao please forgive me but besides that i think this is cute, simple, and sweet so please enjoy <3

Masterlist

You’d been with Bucky long enough to know what came with welcoming him home from a mission.

For starters, whatever time his estimated arrival was was always off by at least a couple of hours (he like to put up an optimistic front for you, you had realized quickly) so you were always prepared for very late nights. Secondly, he would usually be dead tired but insist on hearing about what you did while he was gone. Thirdly, he could be touchy, unable to even lift a finger from you once he got in the door. And finally, he’d simply be hungry.

This night started like any other waiting for Bucky to come home from a mission. Early that morning he alerted you he would be home around midnight which basically translated to early morning hours. You started cooking some food for him around midnight as you waited.

You settled on vegetable soup as it not only warmed the soul but also could be reheated easily. What could you say? You favored practical recipes.

You prepped and seasoned the vegetables nicely, leaving them to wait patiently in the pot. You added in the vegetable stock along with water and a dash of more seasoning just to give it that little extra something. As it began bubbling away, you placed a lid on it, letting the broth reduce and flavors combine.

Once the soup was completed, you left it sitting on the back burner, simmering to keep warm for when Bucky arrived home. You sat on your kitchen island counter, flipping through a magazine when the door finally opened. You smiled, your head quickly turning to greet your man but everything around you seemed to stop when you noticed the state he was in.

Physically, he was just fine. There was no blood you could see, only just the outlines of bruises, but everything else about him… From his stance to his eyes… He didn’t seem okay.

It wasn’t new for Bucky to sometimes came back in unpleasant moods. That, you felt, was totally expected with such a demanding job but something about this time was different. He looked defeated, almost like everything was kicked out of him all over again.

Your heart dropped but you tried not to show it, keeping up some cheeriness in your voice. "Hi, honey," you said, sending him a small smile.

"Hi, doll," His words were weak.

Redirecting your attention to the stove, you hopped down and grabbed a bowl. Motioning towards the pot, you said, "I made you some vegetable soup if you’re hungry."

Bucky shook his head, "Maybe in the morning."

Soup? In the morning? Was… Was he even listening to you?

Stunned, you stood there, just holding the bowl and spoon meant for him. You watched him place some stuff on the counter and then head into the living room, totally bypassing you without a second glance.

Despite turning down the food, you still filled a bowl for him, adding some toast with butter to the side for dipping. You grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge and headed into the living room.

Bucky was sitting on the couch, mindlessly watching late-night TV shows. He wasn’t reacting to anything on the television, just staring off into space. He barely even register you had entered the room until you placed the soup and water directly in front of him on the coffee table.

"Doll, really," he insisted, "I don’t want anything."

You shrugged, taking a seat next to him on the couch, and said, "Well, it’s there in case you change your mind."

Silence fell over the room as Bucky turned to you, his heavy eyes met yours. He looked tired in the worst way. You bit your lip, debating if you should press him to talk about it. He’d always been hesitant to talk about, well, anything. You tried your best to respect that but this was getting to you.

Cautiously, you placed your hand over Bucky’s, intertwining your fingers. It was a small thing but he accepted it.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" You asked, your voice just hovering above a whisper. Bucky took his eyes off you, opting to look down at your connected hands. You took the opportunity to lightly run your fingers through his hair. He slightly leaned into the touch, giving you a bit of hope.

"First off, we lost some people," he simply replied, his grip on your hand suddenly getting stronger.

"What- On the team?" You asked frantically. Bucky quickly shook his head.

"No," he said. You let out a sigh of relief. "But then there were some issues with the civilians."

He acted like that was that but something in your gut could feel there was more to it. He was being so vague it was weirding you out. Bucky, on the other hand, didn’t seem concerned about his words as he disconnected your hands and finally reached for the soup bowl. He drank some broth, turning back to the television.

"Bucky," you said slowly, "is that it?"

He looked down at the soup, this time eating a spoonful of vegetables. Once he had finished his bite, there was a pause. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it as if contemplating on answering. You watched him intensely, pulling your hands to your lap, waiting.

"Kids," he mumbled as his gaze focused on his dinner, stirring the spoon idly. "We saw some kids and I… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them. I don’t know if they’re okay or not."

Your jaw dropped slightly. You brought your hand gently to his bicep. He tensed under your touch. "Oh, honey…"

You didn’t know what to say. What- What could you say? Everything on missions could be rough but the image of a child caught in problems they didn’t cause? And possibly paying for it? You couldn’t even imagine the weight of it all.

Bucky sighed, leaning forward, forcing your touch to drop, as he placed his food back on the coffee table. He took a couple of bites of the bread before leaning back, still not looking at you.

"You know, missions can be bad on their own," he mumbled. "But being reminded children are affected…"

He said so little but so much all at once. All you could do was nod, trying to ease his mind. You couldn’t pretend to even know how he was feeling. You certainly had never been in his position before. You just had to be there listen when he was ready to speak and welcome him into your arms to let him know you’re there.

When Bucky felt you wrap your arms around him, he pulled back from his empty staring to look down at you. Normally, when emotions were this strong he’d opt to be alone. And, in fact, he almost did just that earlier. His original plan was to walk right into the bedroom once he got home and bury it all.

But he knew that wouldn’t be a possibility. You were too good. You were there all sweet and radiant, waiting for him with a hot meal. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t turn you away no matter how much he tried. Stuff got a lot better faster when he had someone willing to comfort him.

Effortlessly, he picked you up and placed you on his lap. His arms were tight around your waist. You rested your head in the crook of his neck while his forehead met your shoulder.

You two stayed like that for a bit, just holding one another, trying to offer support any way you could. You still were at a loss for words but Bucky didn’t seem to mind. He probably wasn’t looking for a response anyway. He knew you each led two completely different lives and, sure, there was some beauty in that. There was something about coming back to one another after a full day of work and errands, ready to share stories from your day. But there were always bad sides to it, too. While you didn’t exactly have the horror stories Bucky could have, you knew he’d always listen to your problems, as you were present to listen to his.

After a moment, you felt you couldn’t keep the silence going. Gently pushing away, Bucky lifted his head from your shoulder and you faced one another again.

"I’m sorry," you said, running your thumb over his damp cheek, collecting tears.

"I love you, doll," Bucky mumbled, leaning forward to place a quick peck on your lips. "Thank you."

"I- I didn’t really do-,"

He shook his head, "You do so much for me. You listen to me, you comfort me, you make me the greatest bowls of soup ever… You do too much. Thank you."

You chuckled, your heart melting at his words. With the best smile you could muster under the circumstance, you placed a proper kiss on Bucky’s lips which he happily returned. His grip got tighter, trying to pull your bodies together. You pressed your hands against his chest, putting distance between you two. There were a lot of emotions running through you two.

"You should get some sleep," you said and tried getting off his lap. His arms wouldn’t budge. You sighed, "Bucky, honey, come on."

Shaking his head, he said, "Let’s watch a movie or something, okay? I… I don’t want to sleep yet."

You nodded, "Alright, we can do that but I would like some soup first. And maybe then cuddles."

Bucky chuckled, removing his arms from your waist. You stood and raced to the kitchen, grabbing your own bowl of soup and bread.

"Soup and cuddles?" He asked, watching you from the living room. Maybe he could spend all night like this. Watching you was enough to keep him happy.

"Soup and cuddles," you confirmed, making your way back into the living room. You placed your food on the coffee table and sat on the couch where Bucky had his arm extended, waiting for your body to curl up into his.

His hold on you was fairly strong as if needing a reminder of your presence but you didn’t say anything. It felt good to be wrapped in your man’s arms. And felt even better to be his safe spot. Your heart fluttered at the realization, making you slide closer.

Bucky certainly didn’t object.

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel one shot #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #mcu fic #oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #writing*#bucky barnes

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imerdwarf · 3 years

Text

You're Worth Saving

Requested by anonymous: Hello you wonderful person! I dare to send in another Buck request, because COME ON HE'S SO LOVELY! ok ok, so maybe where you're also an avenger but you are really silent and distant to everyone (not shy, but alone with your mind), so it happens that buck wants to pull you out of this hole cause he knows how you feel and in the end he succeeds and the teams sees you smile for like the first time since you joined them and they're happy? Gosh i hope this is not weird.

Pairing: Bucky X Avenger!Reader

Warnings: soft!Bucky, introvertism, happy ending 💜

Author's Notes: Hello YOU wonderful sweet anon! How are you doing today? I hope you're doing great. Thank you so much for sending me this wonderful request, I really hope you like it and please feel free to send in more requests at anytime! 💜 Please let me know if you like or hate this, I'll be happy to rewrite it 💜🥺

Divider was made by me 🥰

Your mind was such a beautiful distraction. It's a place where unimaginable scenarios would be stored just for you to be able to stare at a blank wall and dwell heavily on them. Living 99% of the time in your head became a little dangerous but it was a much happier place than reality.

The team would often find you in this daze like state where you'd just stare at the wall ahead without blinking sometimes. They would try to coax you out of it by asking a question, a question you would ignore because you didn't hear them. Their voices were silenced, a contrast to how loud they were in your head.

Nobody really knew why you were like this. It's been this way since you arrived at the compound months ago. You kept to yourself, ate by yourself, worked out when everyone else was either watching movies or asleep, and you would just keep silent. Even on missions, you never spoke a word.

The team were actually very worried about your well-being, as clearly this was not natural. For the first time since the civil war broke out, Steve and Tony were actually in agreement about bringing a psychiatrist in to help you until Bucky intervened and wanted to help you himself first.

Bucky would have considered himself a professional by now. He knows what it's like not to fit in anywhere, how easy it was to feel so out of place. He understood more than any psychiatrist what a better and safer world it was inside your mind.

"Buck you can't help them. Y/N is too far gone." Steve spoke regrettably, sadness evident in his tone. He believed they failed you from the beginning and it was easy for Steve to take the blame so nobody else would have to feel guilty.

Bucky shook his head before he ran a hand through his hair, scratching at the root before letting it drop down by his side again. "I have to try Steve. I've been there before, I know what they are going through. Trust me."

Steve sighed, knowing he wouldn't have won the fight. Bucky was determined and it was impossible to change his mind about anything.

"I do Buck. Just bring them back to us, please."

With Steve's permission granted, Bucky wasted no time in getting to work. He started off being as subtle as possible by sitting as close as he could to you on the couch. The goosebumps that pebbled your skin when his knee brushed your leg gave him a lot of hope, that you were in there somewhere.

Bucky was hopeful he was getting somewhere with you. Because each time he took a seat next to you, you'd angle your body to face him and wait for him to start talking about his favourite movies, his favourite songs, his new profound hobbies he's been getting into lately. Your eyes would glisten with hope that you were actually listening to him. And you were, you paid great attention and everything he told you, about the Hobbit struck a chord in your heart. You had felt so lost for so long that even you were worried you might not be here anymore.

Then a few days later, he started to talk to you like a normal person. He would talk about his favourite books and why he liked them so much. He loved The Hobbit series because of the adventure Bilbo goes on and how easy it was for the words to suck you into the story. How easy it was to forget how to cope with real life.

"Bilbo goes on an adventure of a lifetime and sometimes as the road gets tough, he regrets it but he knows there is something worth waiting for at the end of it, he knows there is something worth saving. He meets new friends and they stick with him the whole time." The emotion in Bucky's voice rang home for you. "There's always something to live for. Bilbo never gave up and neither should you because I'm with you till the end of the line."

You knew he was saying 'if Bilbo Baggins could do this, so could you.'

Days turned into weeks and instead of just talking, Bucky escalated his plans by doing stuff with you. He started off gently by taking you for a walk around the rose garden Tony had at the back of the compound. Bucky noted how your eyes changed, you looked at the gorgeous fruit trees and rose bushes in such awe. The flowery scent tingled your nose.

Then he would go further by taking you a few blocks away to buy you a coffee. And when New York was hit with a heatwave, he took you to the beach where he heard you giggle for the very time because of the flamingo floaties he had around his arms.

The team saw a huge improvement. They saw how you clinged to Bucky and watched him intently as he made a couple of sandwiches and some tea for the two of you to watch with a Disney movie.

And it was just under a month when he heard you speak for the very first time.

"Thank you." Even though it came out in a hushed whisper, he would take it over the deafening silence anyday.

"For what doll?" Of course he already knew, but he wanted to hear more from you. He wanted to hear your voice.

"For helping me."

Bucky nodded slowly, a smile gradually grew on his lips and he pushed just a little bit further.

That evening, you almost talked his ear off. You opened up about your feelings, what kind of envisions lived in your head and how much happier they were than real life. Bucky shared some of his too, comparing the two it was apparent he knew exactly how you were feeling and he understood just how scary it really is. For you, it felt like this huge boulder had been lifted off your chest. A chance to finally let everything out and breathe again.

"How did I help?"

"You made me realise that there is something worth sticking around for, something worth coming back to." You told him with tears in your eyes.

His hands rubbed your back soothingly, "You know doll, sometimes in life, we hit a crossroads. We don't know where we are going or what's on the other side of the road. And if you pick a path, you're going on new adventures everyday and I am right here with you." Tears shamelessly rolled down your cheeks from his words. You've never felt so safe in the whole time you've been here.

The morning after, the team were seated around the dining table eating breakfast and talking about an upcoming mission when you strolled through the doors with a grin on your face and Bucky right behind you, just like he had been throughout this ordeal.

"Holy shit. He did it!" Tony slapped a hand over his mouth, overjoyed with so much emotion. Steve nodded to his friend, proud of him that he stuck with it when it couldn't have been easy.

"Oh my god, you actually have teeth!" Sam joked which earned laughs from both you and the team.

"I do!" You giggled, your eyes squeezed shut as you laughed. It felt good to laugh. "I um, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the distance and the silence and-"

"Listen, don't you worry!" Tony told you as he walked towards you to throw an arm over your shoulder. "We are just glad to have you here and it's a new day, we can start afresh!" Tony walked you towards an empty chair at the table and made Sam move seats so Bucky could sit down next to you. He squeezed your thigh in reassurance that he was here for you and he wouldn't be going anywhere.

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pennylanefics · 3 years

Text

Soft Alphabet v. 2 - Isaac Lahey

a/n: i’ve had this done for so long but have been lazy to transfer it over 🤣

A - Attention (how much attention they give you/when they do/what they do)

if you’re alone, you’re his main focus. he just loves you so much that when you spend time together, he wants to spend time with you. sure, he can come over and do homework and sit in silence together, but he can do that at home, or scott’s. he won’t ask for much, watching a film would be just fine as long as he can just have you in his arms. if you are dealing with supernatural stuff, though, he tends to focus more on that, if it’s not at home. if you’re doing research together for the pack at your place or scott’s, he can’t help but kiss you every few minutes just to let you know that he’s thinking of you and is happy to be with you.

B - Baby (do they want a family/how are they as a father)

isaac definitely wants a family in the future. he didn’t want to end up like his dad, and he wanted to make sure his life was better than the way it was before he met you. he only ever wanted two kids, and that’s what happened. you gave birth to a boy, and then a girl. he is such an amazing father, and with his werewolf abilities, is able to take their pain when they get hurt or aren’t feeling well. he wonders if they’re going to be wolves as well, and is more than prepared to teach them everything they need to know.

C - Certain (when did they realize they wanted to be with you)

when he realizes you are his anchor. he struggled to find his anchor for the longest time, but as soon as you came around, he noticed he was able to calm down easier and control himself quicker than before. he just figured it was something in the back of his mind, he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. until one day, when he flipped out on derek, did he realize. derek shouted at him to focus on you: what you smell like, what your touch feels like, the feeling he gets when you’re with him. it instantly turns him back to human and derek just smiles. that night, he asked you to be his girlfriend.

D - Doubt (what happens when you or him doubt your relationship/being together)

you both doubt it at different times. after a couple months of dating, isaac was dealing with being a werewolf, school, a relationship, and just his mental health. he is beyond tired of juggling everything and asked for you to take a small break. since he was important to you and you cared for him, you agreed to it. later on, when you get back together after a few weeks, he starts focusing more on the pack and supernatural world, resulting in you feeling neglected. he was of course upset with this and it resulted in a long night of talking your problems out so you wouldn’t break up again.

E - Emergency (how do they react to you being hurt/in danger, vice versa)

he panics terribly. if something happens to you or involves you, he is not okay. one time, while fighting ethan and aiden, you got caught in between him and aiden, which resulted in you getting clawed and thrown against the wall. scott took over handling aiden so isaac could get you. he takes you to the hospital and as you are taken in for surgery, he doesn’t stop pacing. he’s biting his nails, tugging at his hair, refusing to sit down. when you’re out and awake, he is in your room within seconds, crying into your hands and whispering how much he loves you and how he was so scared you were gone. he also takes your pain away too much for his own good.

F - Family (introducing each other to your families)

you were quick to introduce isaac to your family. he was more than happy to meet them and allow them to see that he’s not like what the town says. he got along with your parents very well, and your little sister had taken a liking to him, specifically. after dinner, your mother invited him to stay for the family movie night. he of course was glad to, and during the film, your sister fell asleep against his left side, you cuddled up to his right. in that moment, he feels at home for the first time in a long time, and he can’t wait to spend more time with them.

G - Grief (comforting one another in rough times)

being in a supernatural hotspot, you were bound to see death and sadness within the pack. when allison was killed, you and isaac took it the hardest next to scott. you and allison had been friends since she moved to beacon hills high. you two had a couple classes together and grew very close. when she started dating scott, she ended up introducing you to isaac. so it was her to thank that you were with the one you love. that night, the three of you talked and stayed up all night in scott’s living room, talking about memories, what you loved about her, what you’ll miss. isaac held you in his arms the entire time, his head resting on yours. his grip tightened every time you sobbed out, wanting to take your pain away more than anything.

H - Hold (holding each other/holding others/holding pets)

with how much trauma isaac has endured, holding him in your arms to calm him down from nightmares or just general flashbacks was normal. and it’s not something you minded one bit, but it did break your heart. you could feel every shake of his body, every cry, every whimper, the tears pooling on your skin or shirt. it was a horrible sight to witness, but you stayed strong for him and rubbed his back, underneath his shirt. your touch against his skin was calming, and his fingers were always attached to you while holding him, no matter what.

I - Insomnia (what you/they do when either of you can’t sleep)

when he can’t sleep, he tries to keep it from you. he doesn’t like waking you up, bothering you, as he puts it, to talk with him and ease his mind, so he tries some ways to calm down that you told him to do so. he tries reading, that doesn’t help. he tries writing his thoughts down, but that just makes things worse. he attempts to watch tv or listen to music, but still, nothing. finally, after going through everything, he wakes you up, apologizing and cuddling you close to him. he feels awful, but you let him know that it’s okay to wake you up if he’s having trouble sleeping and just needs someone to talk to.

J - Jewelry (gifts they give you, fancy or not)

he gets you certain gifts for anniversaries. like for your sixth month, he got you a big bouquet of flowers and took you out for a nice dinner. on your year anniversary, he got you a beautiful necklace. one on occasion he got you a simple ring, not for anything more than to show his love for you. he usually doesn’t know what kind of gifts to get you, so he doesn’t get you anything at all.

K - Kryptonite (their weaknesses)

isaac’s weakness is definitely your touch. it’s also his anchor. so when he’s raging on a full moon and close to losing control, you are always there to grab his face and make him look at you, instantly calming him. it’s something you do when he’s also close to wolfing out anytime. one touch to his cheek and his eyes are back to normal and his fangs are retracting back into his gums. it’s also a way to get him in the mood. if you’re feeling worked up, all you have to do is cup his chin to give him a kiss, maybe run your finger across his cheek, and he is putty in your hands.

L - Lingerie (their reactions to seeing you in fancy lingerie)

isaac is stunned silent. he didn’t know how to react, so he just stood there, staring, heavily breathing. as you stepped forward, he gulps nervously and you tenderly place his hands on your waist. he feels the lace against your skin, the color of the lingerie complimenting your skin tone perfectly. he couldn’t stop staring every second, and when you tried kissing him, he pulled away to finally compliment you, awkwardly giggling and pulling you back in for a sweet kiss.

M - Marriage (what a wedding is like with them/what married life is like)

i feel like getting married to isaac would just make him ten times softer. like dating is great, but marriage is a forever commitment, technically speaking. that means he has to ‘up’ his game to keep you, as he sees it. he’s much more loving and cuddly, so happy that you two made it to this point. every night before bed, he pulls you close to him and just gives you kisses all over your face and neck. after you two settle, he expresses how happy he is that you’re married and promises to make you happy for the rest of your life. the sincerity and love in his voice makes you cry every single time.

N - Nervous (were they nervous for any first times in your relationship: first meeting, first kiss, first time)

everything, basically. he’s nervous to kiss you, nervous to have sex, nervous to spend the night with you for the first time. he’s never felt this way about someone so he didn’t know what was right or wrong when it came to some things. he had to ask scott and derek, though the latter wasn’t much help, about how to go about these things. what should he do if he wants to kiss you? what should be the proper way to ask you to spend the night with him? all of these things, he was supposed to have learned from his dad, but he was happy that scott was willing to help.

O - Overreact (how often do you/they overreact and how bad does it get)

you sometimes overreact to him dealing with the supernatural world. obviously, you don’t know everything and oftentimes, you do your own research. so when you go to isaac and tell him he needs to be careful or to not mess with a certain creature, he tells you it’s fine. you’ll go on a big rant about how you hate that he is so careless with this stuff and he doesn’t really care about his own safety or even yours, but he is quick to silence you with a kiss. he assures you he knows what he’s doing, as scott and derek are pretty well trained with the supernatural and wouldn’t approach or attack something that they don’t have the power for.

P - Past (how does their/your past affect your relationship)

isaac’s past definitely makes some things hard in the beginning of your relationship. he has trust issues, problems with being in closed spaces, being spoken to in a different tone than usual, things you wouldn’t think are a problem. but when he flips out because you dragged him into a closet to steal a few minutes of a makeout session, you feel horrible. later that night, he cries in your arms and tells you everything about his past, things with his dad, how he was treated, and it made you be more careful with your words and actions around him.

Q - Quarrel (fighting with each other)

fighting with isaac is never a good time. he picks at the littlest of things in the beginning of your relationship, which is also when he’s still trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s a wolf. things like you not being able to hang out because of homework, hanging out with scott instead of him, making comments about the supernatural world. usually, they don’t last that long because you tell him he’s being ridiculous, when he is. when fights get more serious later on, though, you can spend days not talking to one another.

R - Romance (how your relationship has progressed over time)

at first, your relationship progresses slowly. he’s never been in a real relationship so everything is new to him. he’s scared of making the wrong move or saying the wrong thing, so he’s wary of taking things too far right off the bat. but when you get more and more comfortable with one another, things take off, and you fall in love very quickly. isaac is a great boyfriend, so it was easy to progress your relationship when the time came and feel at ease with each other.

S - Sorry (what happens after fights)

you let him calm down after fights. he’s usually close to wolfing out most times, so when you see his eyes begin to glow, you walk away, telling him to anchor himself and come back when he’s ready to talk things out as a human. it doesn’t take long before he’s trudging to wherever you are in the house/apartment and crying uncontrollably in your arms, whimpering that he’s sorry and he doesn’t want to lose you over a stupid fight. sometimes fights can last days. well, the silent treatment from both of you. but either you, him, or someone in the pack forces you to reconcile and resolve things.

T - Tender (how sweet they can be in different moments)

isaac has never had a loving family, so when you showed him what love is, he wanted to reciprocate. he is tender all the damn time. cuddling? he’s rubbing your back or shoulder soothingly, pressing kisses to your forehead and whispering how much he cares for you. the only time he’s not really affectionate is in public. he loves you and all, but he’s not one for much pda. holding hands, yeah, kissing, not really. unless he’s jealous and trying to prove a point.

U - Upset (what you do that upsets them/vice versa and how they react to it)

when you talk shit about certain pack members. you understand that they are practically his family, but some of them, in the beginning, didn’t treat him so well, including derek. sure, you didn’t know everything that went on behind the scenes, but you knew general things. at times, derek was taking advantage of isaac and his trauma, which is what you spoke out about. this led to a small fight with isaac defending his pack.

V - Violence (what you do when they turn to violence)

isaac can’t help but turn to violence, due to his werewolf nature. sometimes, you’re okay with it, knowing that he has to fight against other supernatural creatures and use his werewolf abilities. but when it comes to just randomly getting into fights because he was jealous or angry at one of the pack members just because, you anchor him to get him to stop. you don’t like seeing or hearing that he fought with someone. you know he’s used to using violence as a response to anger, but you don’t like seeing him so angry.

W - Wait (how long they wait to make a move or do something)

after allison introduced the two of you, he didn’t make a move for a while. you became friends first, and he got advice from scott, derek, boyd, and even stiles on how to make a move. he wanted to make it right, he wanted to make sure it was a memorable experience for both of you and an important moment. when he finally asks you out on a date, or to be his girlfriend, he explains why he waited so long. you admit that he could have asked you to be his girlfriend in a janitor’s closet and you would’ve been happy.

X - X-Rated (are they dirty in inappropriate times)

he usually prefers to keep dirty things for the bedroom. as mentioned, he’s not one for pda, so if you’re at a pack meeting, or at school, or even shopping, he doesn’t like whispering dirty things in your ear or being inappropriate. you’ve done it a couple times, but he voiced his opinion on it, so you stopped right away. he also is slightly embarrassed about the idea of sex, not having much experience, so it wasn’t something he wanted everyone to know.

Y - Year (what you do to celebrate one-year celebrations)

he takes you to paris, which is the main reason you end up moving there together after allison’s death. he surprised you with tickets the night before, and you spent the early hours of the morning packing excitedly and talking about what you wanted to do there. he got you two a very special, nice hotel room, equipped with a hot tub in the bathroom and everything. it was a very romantic week and it was nice to just take time away from the supernatural and focus on each other.

Z - Zzz (what it’s like to sleep with them, just sleep)

isaac is a cuddler. like he has to hold you in his arms otherwise he can’t sleep. you don’t mind one bit. you love cuddling close to him, nuzzling your face in his neck or sweater. there are times where he sleeps shirtless and you love it because you get to be really close to him, his warm skin keeping you cozy and comfortable. before he nods off, whether you’re awake or not, he always has to press a kiss to your forehead or cheek, whichever is easiest for him to reach; most times it’s your forehead. it’s such a sweet and intimate gesture that he started early on and continued to do for the rest of your relationship.

#isaac lahey #isaac lahey imagines #isaac lahey imagine #isaac lahey x reader #daniel sharman #teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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bohica160 · 3 years

Text

Chris helping you with a bad day

(Little bit of angst with comfort from boulder punching man)

It definitely was one of those days where little things that you'd normally brush off, just got under your skin. Small problems kept popping up here and there. People seemed to have lacked common courtesy. It felt like those who you talked to were only listening to half the stuff you were saying and misunderstanding. You were just done with the day. Done with interacting with people.

The moment you got into your car, sat in the silence, just staring ahead focusing on nothing, your eyes began to sting. Your vision got blurry, feeling a large bubble rise from your chest, expanding your throat. Warm droplets rolled down your cheek. Before more tears started to form, you quickly wiped your face, making sure you didn't look like you were just crying before heading home.

You always got home before Chris, he liked to stay back at work and use the gym/training rooms they had at BSAA. Normally when you get home you like to put on a show or music to have on in the background while you make dinner for the two of you. Do a couple chores before dinner, then relax the rest of the night with your boyfriend on the couch. But when you walked into the shared apartment, you just kicked your shoes off and unceremoniously placed your things on the entryway bench. You put together a quick meal and wrapped it up for Chris when. He got home.

You made your way to the bedroom. You removed your work clothes and threw them in the direction of the hamper. You went into one of Chris's drawers for a t-shirt. The oversized shirt draped over you like a dress. Heaving a big sigh, you crawled into bed, pulling the covers over your head and pulled your legs into your body. You laid there in the darkness focusing on the silence. You pulled the collar of the shirt up to your face, taking an inhale of Chris's scent. You felt your eyes begin to sting once more as they teared up. You closed your eyes hoping maybe some sleep will help you feel better.

After a couple hours, Chris made it back home. When he walked in, it was mostly dark besides the kitchen light leaking into the hallway. He thought it was odd, normally most of the place would be lit with something playing in the background. Nor did he hear any footsteps running towards him when he opened the door. He walked into the kitchen, but there was no sight of you. He thought maybe you fell asleep on the couch. He peeked into the living room, but no luck.

Maybe you went out and forgot to text him? Nah, you've always been good with letting him know if you go somewhere. He pushed open the bedroom door, and as the hall light hit the bed, he noticed a human size lump on your side of the bed under the covers. "Y/n?", he called out into the room. There was no response, only a little movement under the blankets.

He walked over to his side of the bed and sat on the edge. He called out your name again as he placed a hand on what he hoped was your shoulder. A very soft whimper came out from under the blankets. He slowly removed the blankets over your head, only to be met with a tear stained face. It looked like you cried yourself to sleep. He furrowed his brows as his chest tightened. He wiped away the remaining tears on your face with his calloused hands.

You leaned into his touch instinctively. He always tried his best to make sure you were happy. Always trying to protect you from whatever harm. But not knowing what caused such affliction to you, only made his heart break more. He carefully picked you up, trying not to wake you and cradled you against his chest. Pressing soft kisses into your crown. You clutched onto his shirt and nuzzled into him. Any time you made a noise he would give you a little reassuring squeeze and whisper sweet nothings against your head. Eventually resting his head against yours, listening to your breathing and closing his eyes.

As you were slowly coming out of your sleepy state, you realized you were pressed against something warm and sturdy and felt 2 arms give you a small little squeeze. Your eyes fluttered open, taking a couple seconds to adjust. Chris, feeling you move, looked down at you with a worried smile, giving your forehead a light kiss. "When did you get home?", you asked just above a whisper. "About an hour or so. You okay?", he replied in a gravely tone.

You feel selfish when you vent to your boyfriend sometimes. Feeling like a burden and not wanting to worry him. So you push things down and try to forget about them. There was a pregnant silence. "A lot of stuff?", he asked as he nuzzled his nose into the side of your head. You hummed in agreement. "Why did you come to bed?" Not sure why he'd choose to sit in the darkness with you sleeping on him. "I wanted to spend some time with you," he responded.

"Sorry you had to sit here for that long doing nothing". He shook his head. "Don't", he blurted out with a little sternness. "Dont?" You parroted. "Don't ever feel bad for feeling like this. Sometimes we have no control over things or people are just being inconsiderate. You have every right to feel the way you do. Your feelings will never be a burden. I want you to rely on me. I know I'm not great at sharing my feelings, but I don't want you to feel like you can't share yours. Let me be your rock like you are to me."

You didn't realize you had been crying until he cupped your cheek and brushed away the tears. You buried your head into his chest and nodded. Chris continued to hold you against him, even after you had calmed down. He littered your face with kisses. Each one with just as much love as the first one. Eventually you both made it out of bed and into the kitchen for some much needed food. You told him about everything that was bothering you, and never once did he look away from you. Looking into your eyes as you unloaded all the weight that was dragging you down. After it all he pulled you into a hug, and thanked you for trusting him so much with your heart.

#chris redfield x reader #chris redfield #resident evil #reader #headcanon #drabble #im not good at writing #resident evil x reader #resident evil fluff #i love this man #sorry if this sucks

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yeongwvnhi · 3 years

Text

ᴸᵒᵛᵉ ᴬᵍᵃⁱⁿ

Pairing - Baekhyun x fem reader -> exes to lovers | Genre - Angst, fluff | warnings - none | taglist - @twancingyunhoe @trashlord-007 @tiddy-boys | synopsis - when Baekhyun and you broke things off a year ago, it felt alright, but you came to the painful realization that nobody could ever replace him or love you like he did | word count - 2.1k | thanks to @tiddy-boys for beta-reading ♡

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It's days like these, rain hitting the window in harsh taps and angry wind blowing, when the nostalgia hits the hardest. After all, you were always one to dwell on the past. It's just what you do.

Every day felt the same after the two of you broke things off. You don't even remember why exactly you even ended it in the first place. The pain still sits deep, coming to haunt you when you least expect it.

Rainy days like those just trigger the nostalgia, the memories and bygone feelings.

It's 12pm when you check your phone, yet you're still laying in bed. The lack of motivation due to this sudden wave of sadness is something you're not experiencing for the first time.

And it's killing you slowly. These feelings are eating you up from the inside out.

Without even realizing, tears are running down your cheeks in even, salty streams.

"Why am I even crying…" You mumble and lift your arm to cover your face, trying to make it stop. "God, I'm so pathetic"

You try to manage to stop your tears, wrist harshly rubbing your eyes. After a minute or so, you succeed in stopping them.

instead pick up your phone, unlocking it and opening Instagram.

One peek won't hurt, right…?

His name at the top of your searches seems to be mocking you as you hover your finger above it. Should you really do it? What if he found someone new and his profile is filled with couple pictures? Or what if he feels nothing and is glad to be alone? What if, what if, what if…

"Fuck it" you hiss and tap on his username, his profile popping up after a brief second of loading the page.

He… hasn't posted anything for a few months, his last post being from October last year.

Oh for fucks sake… is this a good sign or not? It could mean he's been seeing someone new, but it could also mean he's just been living his life like usual.

So many possibilities, yet no resolution seems to be in sight.

"This is so annoying, oh my gooood" You groan and smack your head into your pillow, laying sprawled out like a star with an annoyed pout on your face.

"It's been a god damn year," You grumble, "why do I still feel like this?"

The sound of your fist hitting the mattress of your bed is dull, not the way you wanted it to sound. "I hate this, UGHH" The frustration in your voice is for sure loud and clear, accentuated well by the 'ugh'.

This whole situation is stressing you out. "I need a shower.." You mumble, absent-minded, as you fling the covers back and swing your legs over the edge of your bed.

—

Despite the gloomy weather, you decided to take a walk outside. The rain still hasn't let up, droplets of it occasionally hitting your face.

"Why is it so cold today? It's already spring…" You mumble quietly to yourself, eyes strictly trained on the path in front of your feet and head held low.

You're so lost in your thoughts, you don't see the person headed your way.

And apparently, the person doesn't seem to notice you as well. So your shoulders collide and you stumble, umbrella falling out of your hand and fast quick steps to regain your balance.

"I'm so sorry! Are you al-" The man rushes to apologize, but his words get stuck in his throat as he takes in who he just, quite literally, stumbled into.

Rain has hit you mercilessly, soaking you from head to toe within seconds as you stand there, paralyzed. "Baek…Baekhyun?"

His eyes are wide and mouth slightly open in shock as he doesn't know what to say or do.

He hasn't seen or talked to you in at least nine or ten months for sure. What is he even supposed to say? "Yeah… it's- it's surely been a while" he dumbly answers. "Ah! Your umbrella!" Baekhyun rushes to pick it up and hold it over your figure.

But the damage is already done.

You're shivering, dripping with water but still you've a tiny smile on your lips at the sight of him.

You delicately take hold of the handle, fingers gently enclosing around the man's hand.

He doesn't move to let go, just standing there and staring into your eyes. "I-"

You cut him off by mistake with a sneeze, the cold creeping in deep. It feels like your bones might freeze, grasp around both Baekhyun's hand and the handle of your umbrella tightening, muscles contracting to desperately stay warm. "S-Sorry for interrupting you" You say, teeth clattering and eyes averting.

"No no don't worry about it!" He insists, "but we should get you home, your hand is cold as ice, Y/N"

"Ah… you're right" You nod and he flashes you a warm smile.

"Do you still live in the same apartment or did you move?" Baekhyun asks, back to being concerned about your wellbeing now.

"I- I still live in the same place" You reply, your free hand holding onto your jacket for warmth, but in vain.

"That's too far away, my place is way closer" He objects and gently pulls you along, "come on, let's get you freshened up before you really get sick"

You only manage an awkward nod and let him lead you along, a surprisingly pleasant silence engulfing you two.

—

Baekhyun unlocks the door to his apartment and firstly puts both of your umbrellas away, taking off his wet shoes in the process and you follow along.

"Come on, I'll show you the bathroom" He says and you tag after him.

He opens the door, turns on the light and quickly pulls out two towels for you. "You can just use my shampoo, I don't have anything suitable here for you, sor-"

"Thank you" you break his rambling. "You wouldn't need to do this, so thank you"

Baekhyun smiles softly, although his eyes tell a different story. "I'll bring you some clothes in a bit, okay?"

"Mhm" you nod and give him a curt bow before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

You waste no time in stepping out of your soaked clothes and into the shower.

You set the water to a nice warm temperature and rinse off the cold first, feeling relieved.

Then there's a knock. "Hey Y/N, I'm putting some clothes on top of the washing machine for you now" he announces before opening the door, doing as he said and then leaving just as quickly as he came.

"Still the considerate guy he always was…" You mumble with a sad smile, old memories coming back to haunt your mind with sweet images of the two of you. Him always knocking before he'd enter a room you would be in to announce himself.

You loved that about him, he was always mindful of others and you're happy to see it hasn't changed at all.

—

You finished quickly and put on the clothes he gave you. Some boxers and a way too big on you, black shirt. You dried your hair as best as you could with the towel he gave you and made sure you don't look like a lion by patting down your hair a bit.

"Baekhyun?" You timidly call out after opening the door a bit.

"Yeah?" He replies and you hear his footsteps approach. "What is it?"

"Uhm- Where to put my wet clothes?" You ask.

"Oh- Hold on, I'll put them in the washing machine" He says with big eyes and opens the machine for you to put them in. "I'll dry them after they're washed so you can change back, alright?"

You nod quickly and thank him quietly. He opens the machine and you put your clothes inside, him doing the rest.

"So, uh-"

"Do you want some water?" He quickly asks, ears flaring red as he avoids your eyes.

"Sure" you squeak back and follow him into the kitchen. He gets a glass out of a cupboard and fills it with water before handing it to you.

You nip at the liquid as Baekhyun leans against the countertop adjacent to you, eyes taking in your figure.

He missed seeing you in his clothes, you always looked so good in them. He just missed you in general.

The reason why the two of you broke up a year ago?

Baekhyun remembers it all too well.

It was a work related thing actually. The two of you worked in different shifts and barely saw each other, yet alone had time for any couple stuff.

Free days? Spent alone or arguing about never seeing each other.

And at one point you had said to just break up. In that moment Baekhyun felt like he was hit by lightning, body stiff and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he heard. Baekhyun felt anxiety cursing through his veins as his brain processed your words.

You had told him that you wouldn't hate him, but that your situation at that time just didn't allow any dating. The two of you never had hard feelings about the outcome, but it was hard to suddenly go back to being alone.

And now you're here, in his apartment, wearing his clothes and smelling just like him. He can't believe this is happening.

"Uhm, so" You speak up after setting the glass down on the other counter behind you. Your hands come up to grab the surface besides your waist and you avoid the man's eyes.

"Yes?" Baekhyun can't help the hopeful hint in his voice as he urges you to continue your thoughts.

"How has life been for you?"

A chuckle escaped his lips at your question, shoulders jumping up and down in the process before he answered. "It's been rather boring but nice, if you get what I mean? I found a different job and work from home now"

You nod quietly, "I've also found a new job and my shifts are less hectic"

"Have you… found someone new?"

You halt at his inquiry, gears in your mind temporarily stopping and he seems to take the lacking answer the wrong way. A frown pulls at his normally friendly and soft expression, making him look grumpy and bothered. "I see"

"No, no! I- I haven't found anyone!" You quickly say, "I just… I couldn't move on"

His expression changes to a sad smile, although he's kind of glad you're still somehow his. "Me neither"

You scoff lightly, a cheeky smirk suddenly on your face. "No wonder, nobody could put up with your annoying ass anyway"

"Hey!" He exclaims in shock.

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" You insist, holding your stomach and laughing. "You're bearable most of the time"

"That doesn't make it any better!" Baekhyun whines and you laugh out loud, hand flying up to cover your mouth.

"Still the cocky little girl you've always been" He fires back and you snort.

"Like you're one to talk" You roll your eyes at him and he exhales through his nose.

His hands grab you by the collar of his shirt you're wearing and unexpectedly pull you into him. You squeal, hands shooting up to brace against his broad chest and you look up to be met by his cocky smile. "You never knew when to stop, no change at all there" he playfully nags.

"Shut up" You weakly fight back.

Baekhyun chuckles and you feel the rumble drumming against the palms of your hands. "How come you haven't moved on?"

You lower your head, hands fumbling with his shirt. "Well… I came to the conclusion that just nobody could replace you. Nobody could love me like you did…" You mumble against his chest and Baekhyun feels a smile creeping up on his face.

"I felt the same" He whispers back and his arms move to pull you into him more by your waist.

After hearing that, you look back up at him with big eyes. "Really?"

He nods and flashes you a bright smile. "Even though we fought a lot and barely had time for each other, I never stopped loving you"

"Shut up" You almost whimper and move your hands to pull him closer by the back of his neck, lips meeting in the middle.

Baekhyun's eyes almost fell out of their sockets before he came to his senses.

One of his hands found its place on the back of your head as he moved his lips against yours with fervor. He greedily breathes you in, not wanting this to end as moves his mouth against yours.

You shiver when his tongue meets yours and that's when you draw the line… for now.

He chases after you for a second and you chuckle, dazed eyes meeting yours. "Slow down tiger" you say and peck the corner of his mouth.

"Okay, okay" He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, "will you let me love you again?"

"You bet"

#yuki writes #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #prism.nw #lsn.works #supermwritersnet #wkcnet #theBBHday #exo fluff #exo angst #exo imagines #exo scenarios #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #baekhyun imagines #baekhyun scenarios #yeongwvnhi.txt

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alltooreid · 3 years

Text

Clean

As Spencer struggles to overcome his dilaudid addiction, Y/N is dealing with an addiction of her own, to her toxic, manipulative boyfriend. This is an account of a full year, following their joint journeys to sobriety and new love.

A/N: Hi!! I have another Taylor Swift inspired Spencer Reid one shot (but of course you do not need to know the song to understand the one shot). Although originally I was going to write something more fluffy, I switched to this song to write something more angsty and interesting. However, to change pace from my last one shot, this one has a much happier, hopeful ending. However, it is very triggering so please read the trigger warnings before you start. Also, if you have any songs you want to read please let me know!! Also, if you just have a general request please send it my way! Thank you so much for the love on my All Too Well one shot, I never thought my first fanfic on here would be so well received!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Type: Angst, but hopeful angst

Word Count: 7.6K

Content Warnings: Cursing, mentally and physically abusive relationship, relationship cheating (ie, reader is being cheated on), blood and cuts description, drug addiction (these parts are kept short purposefully), lots of fighting and yelling both in reader’s relationship and between Spencer and reader, however, there is a happy and hopeful ending. Reader is struggling to get out of her toxic relationship, please no comments about her being stupid. If you are in a situation like Y/N, please don’t use this fic as a guide. Get help immediately. https://www.thehotline.org/

Things to Know: Italics and bold are flashback moments, the time and date headers serve as time skips :) let me know what you think! Please request any songs you would like to see be made one shots!

“You're still all over me Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore Hung my head as I lost the war And the sky turned black like a perfect storm”

3:27 AM, April 16th, 2007.

You have known Spencer for a long time. In fact, you’ve known him longer than you’ve known Randall, and you’ve felt like you’ve known Randall your entire life.

Maybe that’s because you let him become your entire life.

Still, although you had known Spencer for 7 years, 2 years longer than the entirety of your on again, off again relationship with Randall. You still felt weird calling him. He was going through a lot right now, not that he wasn’t normally. Spencer had one of the most difficult jobs you could think of. You know Spencer has shot and killed people before, and you know every time he did it ate him up inside.

And every time he did he called you.

You also knew that Spencer is one of the kindest people you have ever met, you struggle to imagine him wielding a gun on a daily basis. He just seems too sweet, too perfect.

Yet there was a lot you didn’t know about the young genius.

You have no idea that as you stand in the street, contemplating whether you should call Spencer to come and get you, Spencer is making a difficult decision of his own. As you worry about the possibility of waking Spencer up this early in the morning, Spencer sits wide awake and ponders if he has enough time to get high before he has to leave for work in 3 hours.

As you sit on the side of the road, debating between your very few options, Spencer leads up against the side of his bathtub tears pouring down his cheeks, tears that he doesn’t even register as being there.

Fortunately for the both of you, at the same time Spencer reaches into his bag to search for that tiny glass bottle, his phone begins to ring.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You sigh, “He kicked me out again Spencer, is there anyway you can come get me?”

Spencer looks around his apartment, frantically hiding the belt and the needles he had gotten out for the events he was anticipating. “Yeah, of course I can come get you, um, just give me a couple minutes and send me your location.”

3:52 AM, April 16th, 2007.

You’re in the passenger’s seat of Spencer’s car, both of you sitting in silence. This situation isn’t new to either of you, Spencer has picked you up plenty of times before, in fact he’s done it for years now. One time, about 3 years into your relationship with Randall, you were permitted to go out by yourself with Spencer’s team, they wanted to meet you, apparently Spencer talked about you all the time. While you were at dinner with them, Morgan asked you if you had a car of your own. You explained that you did, but that your boyfriend had it a majority of the time, and that when he didn’t he hated you using it because you always had to mess with everything. He hates you touching his stuff. Morgan made a weird face about that answer, so you quickly followed up, explaining that you didn’t mind.

You do mind though. You hate how he never lets you touch anything or go anywhere, and you hate how much he despises your only form of transportation.

Spencer.

Randall hates everything about Spencer Reid, and he especially hates seeing his car pull into your driveway. That’s why after the 8th time he kicked you out, you started walking half a mile to the nearest gas station before calling Spencer.

The first time Spencer came to get you Randall came out to talk to you before you left.

“What are you doing? Who is this?”

“It’s Spencer, he’s gonna take me to his apartment.” you explained, confused why Randall was so angry you were leaving when he was the one who had kicked you out.

“Oh so just because I don’t want to look at your bitchass all night that means you can go sleep with another man? I knew you were a whore Y/N. You know him and his stupid fucking car aren’t going to be able to deal with you the way I can. How old is that thing anyway?”

“Randall, calm down, I’m not sleeping with Spencer. I love you, I don’t want to sleep with anyone else. But I’m not gonna sit out here all night, where else should I go?”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so quick to whore yourself out to the easiest man you could find I would invite you back inside,” he said before slamming the door in your face.

So you got in Spencer’s car, the one Randall would grow to hate so much.

“Are you okay Y/N? He didn’t hit you did he? You know you can come live with me, you should really get out of that house, I can get Morgan tomorrow and we can go get your belongings. I have plenty of-”

You snapped at him, “No Spencer he’s not hitting me! Why do you always jump to that conclusion, Randall is a great guy! I would’ve never called you if you were going to jump to conclusions like this. You’re supposed to be a genius, yet you’re acting like such a dumb ass right now.”

Spencer looked at you, and immediately you regretted your words. You knew Spencer was just worried about you and with his line of work he had reason to be. However before you could apologize he spoke again.

“I’m sorry Y/N, forget I said anything.”

You both sat in silence for a few moments before you even knew what to say, and yet all you could think of was, “Hey Spence, what kind of car do you drive?”

He smiled, “It’s a 1965 Volvo Amazon P130 122S, it’s horizon blue, that’s the color they refer to it as. Did you know they’re known as so reliable that the 4 door models are still used as police vehicles in some places. This one’s a two door, but still runs great. . . “

You smiled, how fitting a man as reliable as Spencer Reid had the perfect car to match.

When you get to Spencer’s apartment something seems off. Spencer has always lived in organized chaos, but this just feels different. Unlike his normal mess, this one feels like a blatant disregard for his things, even some of his most prized possessions. His books are strewn across the floors, his clothes overflowing from his laundry basket, which was a mix of both folded, clean, yet to be put away things and worn items. Weirdly, the one place that looks untouched is his kitchen, as if he hasn’t used it in months. And you mean that in the most literal interpretation, his counters are covered in visible, undisturbed dust.

“Thank you so much Spencer, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He smiles, but his eyes look so tired. “Don’t worry about it Y/N.”

And at 4:47, you finally fall asleep in Spencer’s bedroom, which he insists you take, and he stays awake until he leaves for work just a few hours later.

9:33 PM, April 17th, 2007.

You leave Spencer’s apartment the following night, after an unfortunate screaming match with him. You have never seen him so angry, so easily ticked off. Yet as soon as Randall called you Spencer became aggressive.

“Yeah babe, I’ll be home as soon as I can. I’ll take a cab and be home within the hour. Of course I’m not mad at you sweetheart, I know you didn’t mean it. I love you, see you soon.”

Spencer exitted his kitchen in a huff, and opened his mouth to start talking before you spoke up.

“I’m sure you’ve overheard already, but Randall’s letting me back in the house. Thank you so much Spence. I really appreciate everything you do to help me. Call me soon please, I definitely owe you lunch,” you said, grabbing your coat and your phone, the only things you had managed to grab from your home before your unplanned eviction.

“Why do you even stay with him Y/N? Why do you keep going back there?” Spencer yelled. You had never seen him like this before, so livid and irritable.

“I love him Spence, and he loves me,” you explained, and you were telling the truth. You do love Randall, and you know that in his heart he loves you too, even if he got a little angry sometimes.

“If he loved you he wouldn’t treat you like this Y/N! Don’t you think I would know? I see this everyday! It’s my job! And yet my best friend is too stupid to realize she’s been in an abusive relationship for almost 6 years!”

You were just as angry now, “You’re wrong Spencer, I don’t wanna hear this okay? I love Randall and he loves me. We deserve each other.”

Spencer’s face softened before growing angry once more, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Fuck you Spencer, I’m going home. I don’t need you and I don't need your help,” you said, grabbing your things and slamming the door open. You were lying, you need Spencer and you need his help more than anything, but you didn’t want to admit that while he was being such a dick.

“Fine!” he yelled, “Go run back to him then, but you better not call me when he kicks you out again. I don’t care anymore!”

And so you left, Spencer slammed the door behind you as you stormed out of his apartment. You didn’t stop to think about the fact that Spencer never acts like this. He has never lashed out at you, never questioned your relationship with Randall to your face, let alone scream at you and insult you because of it. You didn’t stop and think about what Spencer was on, or not on, that was making his act like this.

But you thought about it now.

You want to get home before Randall starts to get upset and suspicious, but now after your fight with Spencer you have to walk home. You couldn’t ask him to borrow cash for a cab, let alone ask him to drive you there. You were stuck walking, which also meant you were stuck with Randall’s wrath when you returned.

You already feel terrible about the way you treated Spencer. You think about going to apologize, and stand in front of the door for a second, weighing the pros and cons of doing so. Eventually, you go to turn away, ultimately deciding that you both needed to calm down before speaking to each other again.

Yet as you turn, the door opens. Spencer stands right there, strangely calm, seemingly out of it. All fury and anger you had seen just minutes before gone. In this moment he resembles Randall, and it's the first time you’ve ever been able to draw any comparison to the two.

It’s scary.

“Spencer I-” but you get cut off, not by words, but by an object. Before you can even register what was just thrown in your face the door is closed again. You duck down to grab what was thrown.

Twenty dollars.

For the cab ride home.

1:34 AM, April 23rd, 2007.

You light the final candle on your dining room table, before stepping back to admire your work. Randall always came home so late from work, so you rarely ate dinner together. But today was your anniversary, so you stayed up late, prepared his favorite meal and set up all of your fancy dinnerware so that you could have a very late dinner together before he goes to bed and you go to work. He should be home any minute now.

Yet 3 hours later Randall is not back. You’re just about to cut your losses and call it a night, and start to clean up the melted down candles and cold steak dinner as you hear your front door open.

“Y/N! What are you doing still awake?”

“Do you know what day it is Randall? Because I do.”

He looks down at his watch, checks the time, and looks back up at you, “Well it is now 3:57 AM, meaning it is now Monday. Which is why I’m curious as to what you’re still doing up sweetheart, you have to be at work in 3 hours.” “There’s something special about THIS Monday Randall,” you sigh, you’re disappointed but not surprised, this has happened for the past 3 years.

“Do you have a project going on at work baby? You know I can’t keep track of all that crap, your job is so silly and easy to lose track of. You have to remind me of these things if you actually want me to care about them.”

“It’s our anniversary Randall.”

He stops, but instead of looking guilty or remorseful (like you secretly hoped), he gets livid, “No it’s not, are you stupid or something?”

“Randall, baby it’s okay, it’s not a big deal.”

“No! You stupid fucking bitch, are you trying to make me look bad, cooking this stupid fancy dinner and staying up late. Trying to lie and act like I forgot our five year anniversary?! Stop playing the victim Y/N. So tell me, are you lying to make me feel bad, or is your brain really that fucking empty?”

“It’s our six year anniversary,” you whisper.

“What did you just say?”

“I said I was just being stupid Randall. You’re right baby, I forgot the date of our anniversary.”

He snarls. “I don’t think so Y/N, I think, actually I know that not only are you stupid, but that you’re a liar. I know that you just want to make me look bad by preparing our anniversary dinner a week early. And you have to push it by claiming we’ve been together for six years. I know it’s five. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m sorry, babe,” you cry.

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” he yells, pushing his plate of steak and mashed potatoes, letting your parent’s wedding china shatter on the ground. You cry harder. “You’re a stupid, waste of my time Y/N. Five wasted years I’ve spent on you. Do you know why I do it, huh. Do you know why I stay with you when I could have one of the beautiful, rich, successful, truthful women I’m fucking?”

You shake your head.

“It’s because I feel pity for you. No other man would want you. I’m the only one that will ever love you. You know that right Y/N?” He picks up a piece of your hair, gently tucking it behind your ear. “Tell me that I’m the only one who will love you, you know it’s the truth right?” You nod your head. In a swift motion Randall turns, grabs a glass full of red wine and chucks it at the wall, narrowly avoiding your left ear.

“I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT.”

“You’re the only one who will ever love me Randall,” you croak out in between sobs.

He closes the distance between you two once more, gripping your chin and jerking your face so that your eyes meant his. It hurts, and makes you cry more, but you don’t say anything.

“Don’t you know it sweetness,” he lets go, delivers a sharp slap to your check and grips your wrist. “Now clean your mess up, and then I think it’s best if you get out of the house for a little bit, don’t you agree?”

You nod quickly. He smiles.

“Good girl, now I would normally be worried about you going to hook up with that string bean you’re always all over, but according to the last time I went through your phone, he isn’t in your recent calls. Glad to know he’s finally done with your bullshit. I’m sure a nice long walk alone will do you good. You can think about what led you to lying tonight, and then maybe you can come back in time for our real anniversary.”

He slips upstairs, so you clean up the rest of the uneaten meal and the broken wine class, cutting up your hands severely in the process. You spend at least an hour in a futile attempt to get red wine stains off of your wallpaper, before grabbing your phone and purse and running out the door.

Even after what Randall says, you still think about calling Spencer. Your thumb hovers over the call button for a minute until you switch the contact, phoning your boss instead. You inform her you need a personal day, and that it’s a family emergency.

You check the time, 6:53. Spencer is almost definitely on his way to work right now. You want to call him so bad, but the things he said you ring through your mind. You can’t ask for his help anymore.

For the first time, you are truly on your own.

Until a familiar horizon blue Volvo pulls up next to the curb you’re sitting on, and Spencer Reid sticks his head out the window.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? Get it the car, come on I’ll drive you to work with me.”

Confused as you are, this is your best option right now. So you climb into the passenger seat of his car, refusing to make eye contact with him, instead looking at your bleeding hands. “Oh my god, Y/N. You’re bleeding. Did Randall do this to you? Why didn’t you call me?”

“No, Spencer, Randall didn’t do this to me. He dropped a wine glass and I helped him pick it up. Now just drive.” And he does, drive that is. But you can feel his stares, on your cut up hands, and you forming bruises. You can feel him profiling the signs of abuse on your body.

But more than that you hate that you can feel he’s upset with you. Upset because you didn’t call him. Does he not remember screaming at you not too?

He pulls into the parking lot, parks the car and finally turns to make eye contact with you. He has tears in his, “I really wish you would’ve called me Y/N. If it’s getting this bad I want you to stay with me.”

“Spencer am I going insane?”

“Of course not, what do you mean?” he looks so gentle, so kind and you’re so confused.

“Do you remember what day me and Randall started dating?”

“Yes, it was April 23rd, 2001. 6 years ago today actually. Is that why he did this to you? Does it have anything to do with that?”

“How can you remember that but not our screaming match a week ago?” you laughed, your hands burned now, there’s definitely glass in there, you swear you can feel the tiny little shards in your blood.

“What do you mean, Y/N? We didn’t scream at each other? I haven’t even seen you in weeks. How long has he been hitting you? Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“Spencer, on the 16th you picked me up and took me back to your apartment because Randall kicked me out. On the evening of the 17th I went to leave because Randall told me I could come home. You said I was being abused and called me stupid for going back to him. When we fought about it I stormed out and you told me not to call you if he kicked me out again because you didn’t care anymore. That’s why I didn’t call you.”

You look up at Spencer, and nearly start crying yourself when you see his crumpled face. Tears are freely spilling down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I don’t remember that,” he pushes his long hair out of his face, clearly frazzled, “I- I can’t believe I don’t remember that.”

Before you can say anything, Spencer pulls out his phone. “Hey Hotch, it’s me. I can’t come in today. I need to use a personal day. . . I’ll tell you later. Okay, thank you” He angrily pulls out of the parking lot, and you can tell he’s headed back to his apartment.

“Spencer it’s okay, I’m not upset with you.”

“No Y/N, it’s not okay. I said all those terrible things to you, of course you were scared to call me after them. The worst part is I was too high to even remember it all. I- I just can’t believe I helped him do this to you,” tears still freely flowing down his face.

“Spencer what are you talking about? I was with you all day, you weren’t high. You don’t even drink, how could you be high?”

He sighs, “do you remember when I was kidnapped by that unsub, Tobias Hankel? About 2 months ago?” You nod, encouraging him to continue. “Well, I told you about his multiple personalities, how one beat me to death and then Tobias resurrected me, how I had to kill Tobias in order to survive, even though Tobias himself did nothing to me. Well when I was in the barn, Tobias would give me drugs, dilaudid, in order to cut the pain of his other personalities’ abuse. When I killed him, I took the drugs he had one him with me, and I can’t stop Y/N. It’s affecting my life, my work, and now it’s affecting you.” He parks his car in his apartment complex’s lot and turns to look at you. “Hotch has never said anything about it, so even though the team knows I have no reason to quit, I think I do now. Y/N, I think we need to get clean together.”

Suddenly that night made sense, Spencer was irritable and strange, he wasn’t high, he was going through withdrawal. But when he threw the money at you, so loopy and out of it, he was on it. He was so high he didn’t remember the moments before.

“Spencer, I don't know what to say. I want to help you get sober, I want that more than anything, but I’m not addicted to drugs, I rarely even drink.”

“I know Y/N, you don’t have a drug problem like me, but you are an addict. You need to leave Randall. You know it, I know it, but you can’t.” You open your mouth to defend yourself, but Spencer continues to speak, “It’s okay, I understand why. But we both need to quit, and I think it’s best if we do it together.”

“Well how are we supposed to do that,” you whisper.

“Come on, let’s get started,” you and Spencer exit his car, he loops your hands together, leading you up to his apartment. When you get there, he digs through his messenger bag and grabs a couple of tiny glass bottles and a syringe. He throws them into his garbage can, and turns to look at you.

“Pull out your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“We’re going to block Randall’s number.”

You want to fight him on it, but you know he’s right. You need to leave Randall, and now’s as good of a time as any. Yet, you can’t forget the things he’s said to you. “I can’t Spencer, he’s my boyfriend, he loves me.”

“Y/N, please, please do this with me.” You shake your head, he sighs. “Okay, I get it, this is going to take time. Just, um, stay with me for a couple days. Please. We can go get your stuff tomorrow night.”

You think about rejecting Spencer’s offer, but you really don’t want to go back there. More than anything, you want to stay right here. You try to tell yourself it’s because you’re worried about Spencer, but deep down you know it’s more than that. So you nod, and Spencer wraps you in a hug, burying his head into your shoulder.

“Thank you, Y/N. Now let’s go get your hands wrapped up.”

9:21 PM, May 2nd, 2007.

You’ve been staying at Spencer’s for just over a week now. You haven’t seen Randall since your anniversary, and Spencer hasn’t taken dilaudid while you’ve been here. Things are going well. You’re watching a lot of bad reality TV, and Spencer has gone through about 7 packs of Gatorade, but you’re both doing okay.

Now you were just waiting for him to come back from his case in Idaho, you knew this one was pretty bad. They were searching for a woman in the middle of a huge forest, as she was being hunted and chased down. Spencer called you right before getting on the jet, and told you he would be home soon, so now you were just waiting for him.

While doing so however, you found something. A lump on Spencer’s side of the mattress. Under it, were two small glass bottles and a syringe. The same ones you had seen Spencer throw into the garbage days prior.

Now you need to talk to Spencer, so you sit on his couch, and wait for him to come home. When he comes through the door, he immediately sees you and smiles. “Y/N! I’ve missed you.” He hugs you, and for a second you forget why you’re even mad at him in the first place.

“Spencer, I need to talk to you. I found your bottles.” The mood in the room instantly shifts, but you don’t care, you need to get your words out. “You told me you were quitting, I watched you throw them away.”

He brushes his hairs through his hair, and begins to mess with his hands. “I am quitting Y/N, I haven't taken any, but. . . I just need them to be there.”

“Spencer, please, throw them away. I’m trying to help you here.” Suddenly he grows very angry, and you can tell you said the wrong thing.

“Well I’m trying too. To me it seems the only one not trying is you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, you still haven’t blocked Randall, he still calls all the time! Why do I have to throw my addiction away if you can’t even do the same to yours?”

“That's not fair.”

“How so?” he yells. “How is it that you can’t block your abusive, no good piece of shit boyfriend but I have to throw away the things I enjoy? That doesn’t feel like trying to me.”

“I’m not addicted to Randall Spencer, I just love him. I don’t want or need to quit him.”

“Oh really? Then why are you even still here? Why haven’t you answered his calls? Or gone to see him? I think you know exactly why.”

And you do. You don’t want to go back there, but what Randall says is true. He is the only one who will love you, and you’re not ready to lose that yet. You’re not ready to cut off all contact with him.

“I can leave if that’s what you want Spencer.”

His face softened, “no, that’s not what I want. That’s the last thing I want.” He stops and thinks for a moment. “If you block Randall I’ll throw away my dilaudid.”

You ponder it, “Okay.”

He breaks into a wide smile. “Really? You’ll do it?”

You smile at him.

“Yeah, I promise. I’ll block Randall.”

6:56 PM, May 30th, 2007.

You did not block Randall.

Even after watching Spencer pour out his bottles, breaking up the glass and tossing it away for a second time, you couldn’t. Even after seeing him snap his syringes in half, and feeling him kiss your forehead, after seeing how happy and excited he was for your fresh start together, you just couldn’t do it.

Spencer thought you did, and it was easy to hide the truth from him. Randall hadn’t called since then, so you and Spencer continue to spend time together, last week you celebrated one month of sobriety. You got an ice cream cake and little, silly party hats and exchanged gifts.

And it made you feel like shit.

Spencer was so happy, so proud that you had both been clean for a month, but you still couldn’t decide if you wanted to be clean at all.

You still can’t decide if you should block Randall’s number.

You try not to think about it, instead focusing the energy into making you and Spencer virgin pina coladas, he was currently out picking up burgers from your favorite restaurant. When he returns, you were going to watch one of your crappy reality TV reruns, and then an episode of Doctor Who. It was Spencer’s idea a couple days ago, and quickly it became a regular occurrence.

Faintly over the loud whir of the blender you can hear your phone ringing. You run quickly to go grab it, just in case Spencer needed your help with something, but your heart drops when you see the caller ID. It’s Randall, trying once again to contact you.

Your thumb hovers over the accept button, but before you can make a decision, the call times out and sends Randall to voicemail. You let out a breath and set your phone down.

But then something possesses you, and you snatch your phone and dial Randall’s number. He picks up on the 3rd ring.

“Baby, oh my god baby is that really you?”

He sounds so excited to hear from you, how could you have stayed mad at him for so long?

“Yes baby, it’s me. I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls at all. I’ve been busy.”

“Don’t worry sweetness, I’m so so sorry for the things I said to you, I need you to come home. You missed our anniversary you know? But it’s okay! We can celebrate now! I got you a really beautiful gift, one we can definitely experiment with tonight.” You could hear his smirk over the phone.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to come back right now, maybe later baby, but not right now.”

You hear his breathing pick up, and tense. You can tell he’s getting agitated. He wasn’t expecting you to answer like that, you always come home as soon as he tells you you can come back. “What do you mean? You’re being ridiculous, I want to see my girlfriend. I’m sure you want to get off of the streets too, you’ve been squatting for over a month now.”

“I’m not squatting Randall, I’m living with Spencer.”

“What!?” he yells. “I thought I told you not to stay with him. I hate that guy, you know that.”

“Would you rather me be on the streets Randall? Spencer’s a great guy, and I want to stay here.”

“Frankly, yes I would. But don’t worry, you can still come home. Just send me the prick’s address and I’ll come pick you up. We can enjoy tonight together.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I’m not going to send you Spencer’s address. I’m staying here. I don’t want to see you anymore. Leave me alone Randall. I’m done.”

Before he could say anything, you hung up. As you did so you heard the front door open, and Spencer made his way to the bedroom.

“Hey! I got burgers! Ready to eat?” he looks down to see your phone still resting in your hand, stuck on the phone app. “Who were you talking to?”

“Just an old friend,” you say.

“Think you’ll be talking to them again anytime soon?” you can tell he knows, and you’re surprised he isn’t lashing out at you. You’re so used to how Randall reacts when you go against his wishes, Spencer’s calm, understanding presence is like a breath of fresh air.

“No, I think I’m ready to leave them behind,” you smile at each other. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a sec okay?”

He nods, and goes to set up the food and TV.

It takes you seven seconds to block Randall.

1:12 AM, June 10th, 2007.

You haven’t gone out with your coworkers in months, you forgot how good it feels to just be present with people. You didn’t even drink tonight, wanting to remember every second of this time out with friends. You were beaming when you unlocked the front door.

Yet your smile slips when you enter what had become you and Spencer’s shared bedroom.

He isn’t there.

You pull out your phone to call him when you hear a thud coming from the bathroom door. You hesitate, scared of what you know you’ll likely find. When you finally throw the door open you’re already teary eyed, and these sobs escalate as soon as you see Spencer, tipped over, lying on the bathroom floor, the needle still sticking out of his arm.

You’re sobbing as you rip it out, hastily undoing the belt wrapped around his upper forearm. He looks up, even in his groggy haze you can see the guilty look in his eyes when they made contact with yours.

“Y/N. . . I- I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me but I just couldn’t stop myself . . . I-”

“Shhh, It’s okay, just breathe,” you whisper through your tears. “It’s going to be okay Spencer, I’m here, and it’s going to be okay. I’m staying right here.” You pull his head into your lap, stroking your shaking hands through his hair.

His head begins to shake, and you can feel his tears on your dress. You rest your head on his, and for a few seconds you just sit there, crying together.

“You’re going to be okay Spencer.”

8:09 AM, June 11th, 2007.

Your head is buried in his chest, you need to be able to hear him breathe. You need to hear his heart beating. You need to be as close to him as possible right now. He stirs as he wakes up, and wraps his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“Don’t apologize Spencer, this is a part of recovery okay? You’re still in recovery, just because you relapsed doesn’t mean we have to start over. You’re so much stronger than you were before. So much braver. So much better. You can do this.”

He smiles at you, “thank you, thank you so much.”

“Of course, now withdrawal is going to be even harder this time. I’m going to the store. We’re going to need plenty of Gatorade and water. We have to flush everything out of your system. Do you mind if I take your car to the store?”

He beams, even in his groggy state he manages to look so perfect, “You know my car is always yours to use Y/N.”

“I’ll be back soon okay? Don’t move a muscle,” you grab his keys and head out the door. And you really do mean it, you fully intend this to be the shortest grocery trip of your life. You’re terrified of leaving Spencer alone long enough to get high again, even though you spent all day yesterday searching for drugs and throwing anything you found in the garbage, taking it out the main apartment dumpster that night.

You get to the store, grab everything you need, 3 packs of blue Gatorade, 6 cases of water bottles, and the store’s entire stock of Jell-O and rush back to Spencer’s car. You were only in the store for 17 minutes, the majority of which was just check-out time. You smile, thinking of how excited Spencer will be when he sees all the Jell-O in the fridge, but feel your stomach drop when you see a familiar face examining Spencer’s car.

Randall.

Before you can decide what to do, he turns and sees you.

“Y/N! I was expecting Spencer, but this is even sweeter. I knew I recognized this hunk of junk. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been around, I’m kind of on a tight schedule here. I really need to get going,” you say as you load up your groceries into Spencer’s trunk.

“That’s a lot of Jell-O sweetheart, you hate Jell-O.” That’s not even true. You hate pudding, you love Jell-O.

As much as you wanted to yell at him for calling you sweetheart, you couldn’t deny that it felt good. You still missed him. Blocking him helped, but you still felt strong urges to call him sometimes. “It’s not for me, it’s for Spencer.”

“I thought I told you not to stay with him anymore.”

“What part of that conversation would make you think I would listen to you?” you say.

“You should always listen to me Y/N, I’m your boyfriend.”

“I haven’t seen you in months, we’re not dating anymore. I’m done.”

“You don’t mean that you’re just being irrational. Are you on your period? I bet that’s it. Come get breakfast with me. You probably just need chocolate, and the place down the block has incredible chocolate waffles.”

You open your mouth to reject him, but you can’t. Part of it is because you know if you do then he’ll follow you back to your apartment and the last thing you want is for him to know where you’re living right now. But the other part is much worse. A big part of you wants to let him try again. You can’t explain why, but you really want for him to redeem himself as your first love.

“Ok, you have 20 minutes, let’s go get breakfast.”

The walk there is silent and awkward. Randall grabs your hand, too tight for you to do anything about it, and keeps this grip until you sit down in your booth.

You don’t get chocolate waffles. You really don’t even like chocolate all that much. Randall knows that, or at least you thought he did. Instead you get cinnamon french toast, and within minutes it’s at the table.

“You know baby, Spencer doesn’t love you.” He says halfway through your french toast.

“We aren’t dating Randall.”

“Doesn’t matter, you’ve been with him in that apartment for a while now. I’m surprised he hasn’t given you the boot.”

You sit in silence, Randall takes this as a sign to continue. “We’ve been together for five years, sweetness. No one can love you the way I do. That’s just a fact. Spencer fucking Reid can not replace me, no one can replace me.”

“I hate that you’re right. I hate that I can’t breathe when I’m not with you Randall. I hate that you’re stuck to me. You’re this god awful stain on my life. I hate looking at it but no matter what I do I can’t wash it off.”

He smirks. “You’re not gonna get rid of me Y/N.” He pays the check, and gets up from the table. You go to get up too, but notice he didn’t tip your waitress, so you leave another five bucks on the table.

When you get outside he grasps your shoulders. “I knew you would come around Y/N, I knew you would get it. Now come on, we can go collect your stuff from that prick’s apartment and get you home. I know exactly how you can make it up to me.”

You pause, “I don’t think so Randall. I’m not ready quite yet, but I promise I’ll call you.” You meant it, you had already unblocked him from your phone.

“Oh absolutely not, you’re going home with me now.”

“No I’m not.” As you were yelling at each other you notice a strangely familiar face standing nearby, just in ear shot. You can’t place him, but you know you’ve met before.

“Yes you are! We’re happy together and you’re coming to live with me again!”

“We don’t love each other, Randall! Not right now at least!”

He’s livid, and once again you feel that scared, indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach. “That’s not true! I’ll prove it to you.” He grabs your chin and pulls your face to his.

You feel as if water is filling your lungs, you’re drowning and no one is around to save you. Randall is physically stronger than you, you’re stuck in his grasp. It’s like you’re screaming and no one can hear you.

And yet, this flood of emotions you’re feeling is the first time you realize something.

You’re addicted to Randall.

You need to get out.

You need to get back to Spencer.

After what feels like minutes (but is actually about 3 seconds) of being unseen and vulnerable, you discover you’ve been protected the whole time. The man you can't place rips Randall off of you, “What’s wrong with you? Get off of her!”

It’s his voice that lets you place him. Derek Morgan, Spencer’s closest friend and coworker, punches Randall in the face. “Get out of here!”

“What the fuck is wrong with YOU? That’s my girlfriend! Sweetheart, tell him to leave us alone!”

They both turn and look at you, with tears in your eyes you look at Morgan and shake your head. “Please, get him to leave.”

And Morgan does just that, with a little yelling and a flash of his FBI badge, Randall is running for the hills.

“Come on baby girl, let’s get you back home. Did you walk here?”

You shake your head, “No, I drove Spencer’s car here.”

“Well, how bout I drive you home, and then afterwards I swing back and get Spencer’s car and drop it off?”

So you do just that. After profusely thanking Morgan, and him insisting that it was nothing, and also insisting to carry your groceries in from the car, you and Spencer are together once again.

“I’m so sorry Spencer, I didn’t believe you before. I was going to go back to him. How could I be so stupid?”

“Don’t talk like that Y/N, you said it best yourself. Just because you relapse doesn’t mean you aren’t trying, and it most certainly doesn’t mean you’re stupid.”

“I think it’s time we get clean Spencer. Both of us, once and for all.”

“I think so too Y/N.”

He pulls you into a hug and in between sniffles you manage to choke out what you’ve been wanting to say since you got into Morgan’s car. “I love you.”

He looks at you, and the look in his eyes almost makes you cry out of pure joy. He looks so happy, as if he’s been waiting for you to say that for years.

Maybe he has.

“I love you too.”

7:29 AM, April 16th, 2008.

You press your lips to Spencer’s, you know he has just woken up, but you know it’s a big day for him.

You both have been sober for over ten months now. Today is the day of his first group meeting. He found Beltway Clean Cops recently, and has been so excited to go. You’re excited for him. You know how proud he is of you, and you want to show him in every way possible that you’re proud of him.

He opens his eyes and smiles up at you. “What did I deserve to get a wake up like that?”

“What kind of question is that? You’re incredible, and an incredible boyfriend deserves an incredible morning. Do you know what else he deserves?”

He hums and waits for the answer.

“An incredible breakfast! That’s why I made blueberry pancakes. Now hurry up and come eat. You should leave soon if you want to make it to your meeting on time. Have I told you yet how incredibly proud I am of you?”

He smiles, “Only an average of 15.6 times a day since I told you I was going.”

“Well that’s not nearly enough, now come on, get up. It’s pancake time,” you say. “Oh, and Spencer?”

“Yes flower?”

“I’m so proud of you.”

He smiles, “I love you flower.”

“I love you more.”

You ate breakfast together and then forced Spencer out the door, making sure he had plenty of time to get to his meeting. You knew he would regret it if he was late.

You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you still thought about Randall a lot. You still missed him. You still love him in a way. But now that you had Spencer, now that you were clean together, you would never risk going back to him.

That day where you agreed to go to breakfast with him, Derek asked you if you wanted to press charges. You didn’t, you don’t regret that either.

You’re even more proud of yourself this way, because you know he’s still there, still accessible and available to you, and still didn’t run to him. You know that any trace of Randall in your future is gone.

You know you and Spencer are finally clean.

“Ten months sober, I must admit Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it Ten months older I won't give in Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it”

- Thank you for reading! Please reblog and let me know what you think :))

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