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urdepressedslut · 11 months

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Lovesick

♡ Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Platonic!Sam Wilson x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky is so in love with you it hurts, and he doesn’t know if he can keep his feelings locked away from you anymore.

♡ Warnings: light angst, hints to past suicide attempt, mentions of imprisonment, fluff, bucky being oblivious and adorable

“You’re staring again… Kinda creepy.” Sam mutters to Bucky, snapping him from his thoughts. Which were all of you of course.

Bucky glanced to Sam, smiling with red cheeks at being caught gazing upon you. But he couldn’t help himself. He was so in love with you, it hurt. He was lovesick, his thoughts consumed longing for you. The lack of emotionally and physically connecting with you eating away at him.

Sam smirked at Bucky getting lost in his thoughts again, glancing from him to you with a knowing look. Bucky wasn’t one to express how he felt, but he’d confessed, and Sam knew he was falling apart.

You had come from a rough past, growing and adapting slower than most. You were kept trapped away from any human interaction for five years, which resulted in you becoming a whole different person.

Fact was you didn’t remember who you were before, you had remembered the basics, your name, parents. But that was about it. You felt like you had started over in life, but along with a fresh start you had issues that lingered.

You had been given a second chance at life some would say, but it was a life that would be tainted, haunted with ghosts from your previous one. So was it really a fresh start?

You didn’t know.

You met Sam and Bucky soon after you’d been freed of isolation. They were shocked to find out you had used to be a well respected agent, before everything happened. Feeling terrible that all your training, hard work was thrown away, now having to start all over again. Some was muscle memory, an instinct that never left you. But you found yourself re-training with the two. You found yourself healing slowly in the company of them. Of course you’d grown attached, and so did they. The three of you stuck together, a deep bond having formed.

While you and Sam had more of a sibling bond, there was something extensive about you and Bucky. He was able to empathize with you, knowing full well how badly you’d suffered, and that was something you’d grown to appreciate. Having someone able to relate, was reliving in a weird way, made you feel less alone.

Bucky had immediately liked you, admiring your strength, finding your kindness infectious. You were a rare pure soul, that didn’t deserve the suffering you’d endured. At first glance he was protective, his mother-like instinct kicking in at the sight of your skittish form.

Months had gone by, and you were doing much better. You were still a little slow, and you became overwhelmed quicker. You were to be treated with a little more care than most. Nevertheless, Sam and Bucky were proud of how far you’ve come.

“You should tell her.” Sam startled Bucky from his thoughts once again, looking over at him with a hesitant expression.

“I don’t know man… I don’t wanna pressure her. She’s been doing so well, I don’t wanna jump the gun and freak her out.” Bucky rambled on, anxiety clouding his mind.

“You aren’t going to freak her out, she loves you Buck. I can tell.” Sam assured him, no teasing tone lingering.

“You can’t know that. Have you talked to her?” Bucky wondered.

“No, but it’s hard not to think otherwise with the way she looks at you.” Sam pointed out.

“How— how does she look at me?” Bucky pushed, not believing he could be that oblivious.

Sam on the other hand, thought he was completely oblivious.

“Seriously Buck? Are you missing your eyes too?” Sam asked incredulously, “She looks at you like you’re her whole world.”

Bucky thought back to the days he’d caught you glancing at him and Sam.

“She looks at you like that too.” Bucky argued.

“It’s different… I’m like a big brother she’s never had,” Sam stated, “Then you… It’s different.”

Bucky took in Sam’s words, and he couldn’t deny that yes, you and Bucky had an amazing friendship. But he was afraid that’s all it was. His chest ached at the thought that you wouldn’t want to be something more with him.

Bucky was about to respond, when Sam interrupted him, grabbing him by his shoulder.

“Your girl is looking this way.” Sam told him, motioning his head to you.

Bucky glanced to you, his eyes meeting with yours. You were holding his gaze, your eyes warm and glowing. It’s like he had never seen it before, but now that he was gazing into your orbs, he felt like your eyes were saying a million words. It was giving him hope, that you might feel the same way.

Bucky excused himself from Sam, heading towards you. Getting closer he was careful not to interrupt the little girl talking with you, the sight making Bucky watch with fondness.

“My friend is being mean to me!” The little girl whined, crossing her arms with a huff.

“Oh, well that’s not okay. Where’s your friend?” You asked, ready to scold a kid for being rude to this sweet girl.

“She’s standing right next to you.” The little girl said as if it was obvious.

Your eyes widened slightly in horror, and glanced to either side of you, furrowing your brows in confusion when you saw no one.

“She is?” You asked her, receiving a nod, “Uh… I don’t see her.”

The little girl started laughing and you faked a smile, scratching the back of your neck.

“No one can see her, she’s invisible.” She told you with a wide grin.

You understood immediately what she was saying, and felt embarrassed that you hadn’t caught on. You weren’t used to hanging around kids, and you weren’t really good at talking to them.

“Of course, how could I forget?” You asked the girl playfully, trying to will your cheeks back to normal color.

Luckily for you, the little girl’s attention span had her running away to a group of kids, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Why did that interaction stress you out so much?

Bucky’s face hurt from how much he was smiling, but he couldn’t help it watching you talk with the little girl. Something about seeing you with kids had his stomach full of butterflies. You made him feel like a nervous school boy with a crush.

“Hey doll, making some friends?” Bucky teased you, and you met his gaze, smiling warmly at him.

“I think so, the kids are adorable.” You told him, the kids even though they were difficult sometimes, they were precious.

“You seem good with kids.” Bucky acknowledged.

“Oh not at all, I was actually very nervous. I feel like I talk to kids like they’re dumb sometimes… And I don’t mean it— Of course not, I just don’t have like any experience with kids.” You rambled on, while Bucky thought you were adorable.

“Well, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re better with kids then I am.” He admitted, though the kids he’d seen today had taking a liking to him, which warmed his heart.

It was quiet for a moment, the two of you taking in each other’s company. Then you thought of a random question.

“Have you ever wanted kids of your own?” You asked him, your question taking him by surprise.

Bucky hadn’t always thought of the idea, but he found his mind wandering towards the idea more, ever since he’d gotten close with you. Though he assumed it was impossible, maybe back in the 40’s. But after everything that had happened with HYDRA, he wasn’t sure if his body was physically able to.

“Never really thought about it.” He lied, “You?”

“I’ve never really gave it much thought either, but it would be cool to have a mini-me running around.” You admitted, though the overall idea of kids terrified you.

Bucky smiled at the idea of a miniature you, the idea warming his heart.

“Uh, so actually… I wanted to talk to you doll.” Bucky started, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“We are talking Buck.” You said with a giggle, the sound giving Bucky butterflies.

“No no,” He chuckled, “I mean about something kinda serious. Something that I need to get off my chest.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at the word serious, watching his playful expression slowly fade.

“Oh? Is everything okay?” You asked him, growing concerned.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine. I just wanna talk.” He assured you, calming you with his genuine expression. "Come on, let's go on Sam's boat."

Bucky grabbed your hand, helping you stand. The two of you walked onto the boat.

You immediately started fiddling around with the helm of the boat, pretending to be at sea. Bucky watched with heart eyes, leaning against the doorway.

“You know…” He started, getting your attention, “I’m super proud of you. For how far you’ve come.”

You smiled at his praise.

“Wouldn’t be here without you.” You told him truthfully, he was your rock. Sam too of course. But Bucky was special.

“I’m always gonna be here to help ya, but you gotta give yourself some credit.” He stated.

“I do…” You started to argue.

“(Y/n)…”

“No I do,” You trailed off, getting serious all of a sudden, “But sometimes I think back when things were pretty bad and… Well you were there. I really do mean it— I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Bucky immediately knew what you were talking about, and he cursed his mind for remembering the haunting image so vividly. You had been at a very low point in your recovery, and you tried taking yourself out of this world. His world. His hands clinging onto your crimson covered wrists was an eye opener, that he didn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist. The very thought horrifying him to his core, his body frozen with dread.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bring it up I just—”

“No no, don’t apologize doll,” His voice wavered, “Just hate that you ever felt that way is all.”

Despite rehashing over rough memories, you couldn’t help your chest from feeling warm, seeing Bucky care so much about you, had you feeling fuzzy. He had been so protective over you since that day, and some would call it overbearing, but you found yourself feeling safe. You knew Bucky would stop anyone from even blowing a breath of air your way if that meant you’d be in danger.

Bucky recognized that warm glow in your eyes again, as you gazed into his. He took a deep breath, seeing as this was his best chance.

“(Y/n), I like you… A lot.“ He rushed out, and you were still smiling, no shock shown on your face.

“I like you a lot too Buck.” You shot back, stepping away from the helm and closer to him.

“You— Really?” He wondered if this was all his imagination.

Sam was right? Psh, no way.

“Really Buck. I’m not good at expressing emotions— feelings, or any of that stuff. But I do know that I always want to be with you, I always want you around, even if we aren’t talking to each other. Just knowing you’re near is enough.” You confessed, hoping that what you said made sense.

By the look on Bucky’s face, you assumed you said just the right thing.

“Doll, I’m crazy about you. You’ve got me wrapped around your tiny little finger, I’m yours.” He told you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

“Buck?” You whispered, cupping his face with your small hands, feeling him lean into your touch.

“Yes doll?” He whispered back, looking at you like you were his entire world.

Well, because you were.

“I think I love you.” You told him shyly, your cheeks reddening.

Bucky’s heart nearly gave out at your words, but he couldn’t help the overwhelming rush of joy that your confession had given him.

“I think I love you too doll.”

A/N: my ideas come to me at the most random times, this one came to me a couple days ago while I was eating cereal 🥴🤷🏻‍♀️

#reader insert #marvel imagines #buckybarnes #oneshot #imagine #light angst #fluff #marvel cinematic universe #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction

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angelltheninth · 8 months

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Romance Tropes with Marvel Characters

Pairing: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Thor, Loki, Tony Stark, Kate Bishop, Peter Parker x Reader

Tags: fluff, enemies to lovers, kissing, sleeping around, doubt, confession, teasing

A/N: Back with my favorite romance tropes. God there are a lot of these.

STEVE ROGERS + LAST TO KNOW

You and everyone around you know that there's feelings between the two of you, everyone but Steve himself. He's not dumb, far from it but when it comes to romance you need to be really direct with him because subtlety has been getting you nowhere really fast and you needed to fix that. You need clear, blatant flirting, you need to wink at him, you need to tell him you like the things he does, that you like him point blank. Once he gets that he will take the gentleman route and ask you on a date.

BUCKY BARES + NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Bucky feels like there's flaws in everything he does with you, that somehow he will end up messing things up no matter how well he plans them out. His whole life has been a series of mistakes and accidents. While he knows for a fact that you're not that for him he wants to work extra hard to make sure you're not making a mistake by dating him. If only he knew that who he was was already good enough, that he is already your perfect someone. And all his imperfections are also part of why you love him.

SAM WILSON + SECRET ADMIERER

Pines over you for a good long while. Sam really wants to make sure you like him before he makes his real move so he does things like live flowers and little cute gifts in your locker. It has so be someone from the team but you don't figure out who until you catch him on his way from the flower shop, with the exact flowers appearing in your locker for the past month. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. And since you already did and seemed t be happy with his gifts he might as well confess right now, with flowers in hand.

NATASHA ROMANOFF + BEST FRIEND'S SIBLING

Natasha is always there when you go to visit Yelena and she's always teasing you. This is much to Yelena's annoyance because she knows you like Natasha too. You never get too flirty when you're in the company of others but over the phone is a different story. When you become a couple Natasha jokes about you becoming Yelena's new sibling, something which Yelena is jokingly appalled by. Natasha is the type of person to make kissy noises at you just to annoy her little sister.

CLINT BARTON + AFRAID TO COMMIT

You and Clint have had a casual on and off relationship for years. When things are about to get serious he breaks it off, saying he needs time to think about it but you never seem to move on from this one spot. While frustrating you know why that is, he's already lost his family once, he doesn't want to risk losing someone he's grown to care so much about. He would rather that he didn't start to care, that it was casual but it's not and he does care, and that's why he's scared of opening up to you further.

THOR + PROTECTOR

For such a big guy Thor can be real cagey with his romantic feelings. He will flirt for sure, he'll even try to sleep with you but he will always maintain his status as your protective best friend. In fact he will even go so far as to say that the reason he's so flirty is because he's protecting you from other people who have bothered you before. While you can appreciate that he could do all of that too if he admitted to himself that he wanted to be your boyfriend. Was it really that easy? Was he really overthinking things for once?

LOKI + OLD ENEMIES

You and Loki go way back as enemies, even the most petty things you had to argue about and see who will come out on top. That attitude eventually transferred over to the bedroom but you never stopped being enemies. You're always at each other's throats when you see each other and then pretend like you don't think about each other when you're not fighting. There's never a confession that happens between you two because there's nothing to confess, you already know that you love to hate each other.

TONY STARK + SLEEPS WITH EVERYONE BUT YOU

Being the playboy that caught feelings for you of course Tony isn't gonna make it worse by sleeping with you. He wants to so bad but once he does there would be no running from his feelings anymore. So he sleeps with other people, however he doesn't brag about it like usual, not to you anyway, but you know. Eventually it stops working, he can't stay away from you anymore. But he doesn't want to sleep with you and then confess, he has to take you out on a date, kiss you, confess and then if you still want him, sleep with you.

KATE BISHOP + FRIENDS TO LOVERS

No amount of superhero work can rip Kate away from her best friend. You bet she tells you who she is from the simple fact that she knows you'll keep it a secret and because you're used to people being after her because of her money. Sleepovers are a regular thing with the two of you, as are cuddles, kisses though... those are a bit new. She panicked when she kissed you, said it was an accident. How could it be though when you wanted it to happen too? And what if you'd like for it to happen again?

PETER PARKER + OBLIVIOUS TO LOVE

As much as he is a genius, Peter can be a little oblivious to romance. Okay, very oblivious. He's an awkward guy and he rarely makes the first move. But if you can show him that you're really into him... no he won't get it. You need to be the one to ask him out on a date. Then he will put his best foot forward and make sure you are swept off your feet. He might have been oblivious at first but not anymore, he's starting to pick up on your little cute flirting, and more importantly he's starting to flirt back.

#mcu x reader #mcu fluff #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x reader #thor x reader #loki x reader #tony stark x reader #kate bishop x reader #peter parker x reader #mcu imagine #mcu headcanons #marvel x reader #marvel fluff #marvel imagine #marvel headcanons #x reader

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crazyunsexycool · 2 months

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My Little Love

Chapter 32

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Word count: 5.7K

Warning: Some tears, little bit of angst, Sad Henry, Some seperation anxiety, some fluff

A/N: Our favorite family is back. Also it's the first official introduction to Steve's Honey. Although it's only for a brief moment. This also happens before all of the holiday one shots for this series.

Series Masterlist

There was fire in your veins. It traveled from the top of your head to your toes. The burning sensation wouldn’t stop even as you begged for some mercy. Leather straps dug into your flesh, cutting your skin and drawing blood. The more you struggled the worse it got.

A voice, familiar, cold and harsh made impossible demands. You begged some more. The only response you received was that same voice, mocking you and a stinging sensation across your cheek.

You couldn’t place the voice no matter how much you tried to remember. Where had you heard it before? A choked sob escapes you as the group of people around you move to ‘work’ on you.

****

Shallow ragged breaths fill the otherwise quiet room. Slowly a voice calls out to you. Dripping with love and innocence and concern. It pulled you out of the deep dark memories that were weighing you down.

“Mama, is kay now. No cwy.” Charlotte’s reassurance was spoken in a calming manner.

“It’s just a nightmare.” You heard Henry say as you finally opened your eyes.

Your body ached, your muscles were tense and sore but you realized that you weren’t in the living room anymore. At some point someone, most likely Bucky, moved you to the master bedroom. Immediately your mind went back to the nightmare, a memory really. You couldn’t shake that feeling of knowing who that voice belonged to.

“Mowning mama.” Lottie’s sweet sleepy voice pulls your attention as she gently caresses your cheek. She wipes away the tears that had fallen.

“Morning sweet Angel. Morning my sweet boy.”

It was a delight for them to hear those nicknames. They sat at either side of you and when you opened your arms they didn’t hesitate to snuggle up to you. You kissed the tops of their heads and just enjoyed being with them again. It was obvious by the sleepy looks in their eyes that you had woken them up. The door opens slowly and you manage to look over to see Bucky pop his head in. His smile is breathtakingly soft as he watches the three of you all cuddled up in bed.

“Daddy come on.” Henry patted the empty space beside him.

Bucky’s smile widened as he walked in and closed the door. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants which meant that he had just woken up too. He had no problem taking up the empty spot next to his son. Instinctively Bucky’s hand finds yours, your fingers intertwine with his. Soon enough Henry starts telling you about the video games he and uncle Sam and uncle Josh played. Lottie tells you about her sleepovers with Olivia. You listen and ask all kinds of questions and for those few minutes you forget about the hell you lived through and the three months you had been separated. The four of you joke and laugh, share cuddles and kisses. Your heart feels light and it erases any memory of your nightmare.

There’s a knock on the door and when it opens it’s your dad. He informs you that your siblings are here. Reluctantly you let the kids go and got up, sitting at the edge of the bed. Henry took Charlotte’s hand and led her out to the living room, you could immediately hear your siblings greeting them.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked. He knew from experience that asking if someone was ok after a traumatic experience wasn’t the best way to get them to talk.

“Tired.” You murmured. “I had a nightmare, a memory really. I hate remembering.”

He shuffled around and sat next to you. Bucky’s arm moved behind you until it settled around your waist.

“I know Sugar. I hate to say it but it won’t always be easy. But I’m right here with you. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

You gave him a sad smile before resting your head on his shoulder. The two of you stay like that for a few minutes before you get up and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

****

Bucky had already joined your family in the living room. He’d advised them that you had woken up from a nightmare, that from the events that happened the day before you were probably still on edge and that it would be better to not get too excited or loud around you just yet.

“Hey.” You said as you stood at the edge of the living room. Unsure of what to do next.

“Y/N.”

Luke got up first and he made his way towards you. It was slow and cautious, almost as if he was afraid to scare a wild animal.

“Can I hug you?” He asked, although he kept his hands in his pockets instead of holding his arms out and not really giving you a choice.

“Yeah, that would be ok.”

Gently Luke pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head. You clung to him. The moment felt all too familiar. It brought you back to your childhood when you would get in trouble way before you had been alienated from your siblings. You realized you were crying harder than you meant to because Luke was swaying side to side and reassuring you that you were safe.

Next came Josh and Sofia, followed by Molly. All of them telling you how happy they were that you were safe. Olivia was the last to come up to you. Still shy around you but you couldn’t blame her, you had barely spent any time together.

“Hi auntie Y/N.” She says shyly, halfway hidden behind Molly’s legs.

“Hi Oli. Lottie told me you had a lot of sleepovers.” You had gone down to her level and she loosened her grip on Molly’s leg and shifted a tad bit closer.

“Yeah, she was sad a lot because she missed you.”

“I missed her too, but thank you because you kept her company.”

“I missed you too.” She reveals as she walks even closer to you. “You’re fun.”

“Yeah? I missed you too.”

Olivia is finally standing in front of you, her hands behind her back and she squirms around a bit. You play with her curls and smile at her.

“Can I hug you too?”

“I would really love a hug from you.”

She gives you a toothy grin and then her small arms wrap loosely around your neck. You pull her in and pick her up.

“Thank you for helping Charlotte and Henry while I was gone. You are the best cousin ever.” You whisper in her ear and she giggles. With a kiss to her temple you set her down.

There’s an awkward silence. You knew that they wanted to ask you about what you went through. There was no way you’d tell them. Some of it you didn’t even really remember.

“What do you need from us?” Luke asks as everyone settles down.

You blinked at him, confused at his question.

“We don’t want to overwhelm you.” Molly adds. “So whatever you need us for, we're here, just let us know.”

You nodded but you were at a loss for words. It was a lot to take in, in the last few hours. It hadn’t even been a full 24 since you were found so suddenly having so much control of yourself and freedom you didn’t know what to do.

“Shouldn’t you be meeting with Shuri?” Ed offered.

“Yeah we should. Are you ok with waiting here?”

“Of course, whatever you need.”

The information Shuri had for you was worse than you thought. There were several microchips implanted in your brain. Those along with a chemical component were being used to control you. Half of the issue was resolved when Yelena sprayed the antidote in your face a few hours ago. The other half was going to be complicated. You were going to need literal brain surgery to be completely free of hydra’s hold.

Bucky took you aside and for a while he just held you. It was overwhelming. The decisions you’d both have to make were difficult.

“Look at me Sugar.” Bucky murmurs as he pulls back. Your red rimmed eyes meet his bright blue ones. “I know it’s a lot more to ask of you. You’ve been through hell, I get it. But we have to do this. We have to go back to Wakanda and make sure those things are out of your head. I promise I’ll be right there with you. Then this will all be over.”

“What about the kids?”

Bucky sighs.

“But you just got back, you can’t leave mama.” Henry argues, he’s on the verge of tears.

“I know, sweet boy. I don’t want to go but the bad men hurt me and I have to go to Wakanda to get better like you, daddy and Lottie did.”

“But we were gone for so long.”

“Shuri thinks that it will take less time, bubs.” You tried to soothe him and run your hand up and down his arm but he pulled away.

“Why can’t we go with you? You went with us last time?”

“Bubba, mama needs to get bettuh.” Lottie speaks up for the first time. You had noticed she had been lost in thought, you’re sure she was having a vision.

“But daddy is going.”

“I’m going to be there to watch over mama during and after her treatments.” Bucky added.

Henry threw his arms around your neck and cried. He pleaded with you to take him but in reality you weren’t sure if your memory would be affected after the surgery or worse if you’d die because of it. You didn’t want either of them to see that and Bucky wouldn’t be able to watch them and take care of you at the same time. That’s what you tried to explain to Henry but he wouldn’t accept it. After going back and forth he just stepped away from you.

“Fine leave again then. I don’t care.” He all but yelled before running away, turning invisible as he did.

His reaction had you crying. He had been anxious while you were gone and now that he had you back you were leaving again. Henry’s reaction was completely understandable but it still hurt you. Lottie stood in front of you and offered you a smile. Her hair was much longer and she had it swept over her shoulder to one side as she played with the ends.

“Is kay mama. Bubba just scared. I make him not scared.”

“You’re gonna take care of him while we’re gone?”

“Mmhmm.” She nods as she places her arms and crosses them over your legs propping her chin on one of her free hands. “No be scared mama.” She taps her temple. “Mama be kay. I see it.”

You make a sound between a laugh and a sob before you pick her up. Lottie smiled at you and leaned into your chest. Leaving them again wasn’t going to be easy. In fact you were sure that the tightness in your chest had everything to do with being away from them.

****

Shuri and the Dora Milaje that stayed to protect her were already on their jet. You and Bucky would be leaving with them. There was not a lot of time from when you told the kids to when you’d actually leaving so you weren’t able to talk to Henry again. You didn’t want to leave things like that with him but the clock was ticking and you weren’t sure what hydra would be able to do to you. After you said goodbye to your family you and Bucky were at Bruce’s lab, getting some last minute information.

“This is a very awkward conversation to be having.” Bruce sighed.

“Is something wrong with Y/N?”

“No, not exactly.” Bruce cleared his throat but was going slightly red at the mere thought of having to discuss this. “I think you should um not- do certain things for the next three weeks.”

“What things Bruce?” You look at him confused. “No training or using guns?”

“No. I mean you shouldn’t do those things either.”

“Then what?” Bucky was getting irritated.

“Don’t have sex.”

You and Bucky turn to see a woman walking up to you.

“I’m sorry what? Who are you?”

“I’m Dr. Banner’s new assistant.” She offers you and Bucky her name. “I started a few weeks ago. Anyways, while running some tests on your blood samples we found high doses of medication used for fertility treatments.”

The reality of what this meant sat heavy in the air. They were preparing to use you for another winter soldier child and who knows what they would have done to you once you gave birth.

“She’s right. I’ll have Shuri monitor your levels but from now until you get back it’s best if you abstain from those activities. Unless of course you’re ready for more kids.”

“Bruce, just tell us not to have sex.” Bucky shakes his head and holds back a chuckle.

“Fine, don’t have sex. Now get out of my lab.” He chuckles. “I know you’re in very capable hands but good luck.”

“Thanks Bruce.” You also thank his assistant before heading out.

****

“So brain surgery, upset kid and now no sex. Things can only go up from here.” You tell Bucky as you sit back in the jet.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head.

“They will. They have to.”

“I haven’t had the chance to say it but I’m glad you’ve let your hair grow out. I always wanted to play with your hair when you had it long like this.”

“You’re welcome to play with my hair as much as you want.”

You sigh and lay your head against his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Sugar?”

You take a moment and tell him what’s bothering you. That voice in your dream and how you felt that you were supposed to recognize it. That there were things that you didn’t remember but that it was more than that, it felt that there was a wall blocking those memories. Bucky takes your hand and reassures you that everything will be ok. That most likely you just need to remove those microchips in your brain and everything will fall back into place. You can only hope that he’s right.

For days Shuri worked tirelessly to undo what hydra had done. It was difficult the first time you woke up to find out that the surgery was being done in sections. After two weeks of going between surgery and recovery, Shuri was finally done. It was complicated to say the least but it had been successful. You took one week to fully recover thanks to the serum.

****

It was a brisk night in Wakanda. The nightgown you had on did little to keep you warm but with all of the memories coming back to you it was a welcomed change. Some peace and quiet was exactly what you needed as you thought about how you would tell Bucky who had been hurting you and what you had learned and remembered.

“Sugar? Everything alright?” Bucky’s gravelly voice cuts the silence.

“Yeah, just another nightmare.”

“Mmm.” Bucky walks up and places his hands on your hips. You can feel his body warmth against your back. “Want to talk about it?”

Turning around you look up into his concerned blue eyes. You knew you had to tell him but you were scared at his reaction. Bucky pulls you into his chest, his hand running up and down your back in a soothing manner.

“I remember everything.” You mumble while blinking back tears. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“It’s ok Sugar. I know this part is difficult, remembering any part of it. Just tell me what you want, if you want too.”

“I remember the voice.” You start by saying. “I remember everything she told me, it was horrible.”

“She?” Bucky racked his brain trying to remember any high ranking female hydra officers but he couldn’t.

You pulled back to look at him, the truth was on the tip of your tongue but the weight of it kept you from talking. Bucky cupped your face and tilted your head so that you would look at him again. Your gaze was starting to unfocus and he called your name softly. One warm and one cold hand grounding you in reality. You weren’t strapped to that table anymore. There wasn’t a room full of men ripping you apart and figuring out the best way to put you back together. No, you are safe now. In the arms of the man that loved you and who might despise you in a moment.

“You’ll hate me.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed in confusion. There was a chance you weren’t coherent due to the surgery and medications.

“I could never hate you, Sugar.”

You blinked up at him owlishly while studying Bucky’s face. It might be the last time that he looked at you with so much love. With your hands wrapped around his wrists you take a deep breath. It was now or never.

“My mom.” Bucky tilts his head but waits for you to continue talking. “She’s the voice. She was the one in charge.”

You felt him stiffen.

“Your mother is hydra? Is your father? Your siblings?” A bit of panic in his tone.

You shook your head as he pulled away. He paced back and forth on the balcony.

“How? Why? I don’t understand.”

“Apparently all of the family on her side was hydra. But that’s not all.” You started crying then. Bucky stopped and looked at you.

“My great grandfather and grandfather they were both-“ you struggled to get the words out. It hurt to think that two of the people you loved the most were created at the hands of your family members.

“They what?”

You flinched slightly at the sharpness of his tone.

“They were both part of the winter soldier program and of developing the program for Henry, Charlotte and the boys.”

Bucky stared at you with slight horror. He takes a step away from you and then another.

“She was horrible. The things she told me.” You start to sob. “What she did to me as a kid was nothing compared to what she did this time.” You turn away from him and lean on the railing again. “The plans she had for me were evil. Having me hurt Charlotte and Henry was a fail safe plan. She knew it would kill me if they were hurt.” You hide your face in your hands and continue to cry over everything.

The sight of you crying over the things your family has done breaks Bucky’s heart. You flinch when you feel his hand on your back.

“Sugar, it’s over.”

“It’s not.” You shake your head. “She’s still out there. It’s not over until she’s dead.” You turn to look at him again with a pained expression. “As long as she’s alive we’ll never have peace.”

“We will. I promise you we will.”

Bucky pulls you into his chest and lets you cry until you can’t anymore. He had to put his feelings aside for the moment, this wasn’t about him and it wasn’t your fault. Deep down he knows you aren’t like the monster that your mother is, and neither is your family.

From the moment you told Henry you had to go to Wakanda he had been anxiously awaiting your return. He felt bad for not saying goodbye. It didn’t help that Charlotte called him out on ‘being mean to mama’ when you were already scared. All he wanted now was for you to come back so he could tell you that he didn’t mean it. He was scared too.

It also happened that he was sad at the thought that you would miss his first official birthday. It’s not that a party was the most important thing to him but Henry wanted to spend it together as a family.

So on the actual day no one could coax him out of his room. Not Eddie, Luke, Molly or Steve and Sam. Not even Lottie could convince him to go up to his party.

“But bubba is so nice. You habe fun.” Lottie rubbed his back in a comforting manner as he lay facing the wall.

“I don’t want to have a birthday party. You go and have fun baby.”

Lottie huffs in annoyance. “Kay.” She says as she walks out and closes the door.

A few minutes later there’s another knock and the door opens.

“I said I don’t want to go to the party.” Henry’s tone is stern.

“That’s ok sweet boy. What if we do something else, just the four of us?”

Henry sits up, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open as he turns towards the door.

“Mama, you’re back.” He says between choked sobs. Henry hops off the bed and runs into your waiting arms. “I’m sorry mama, I didn’t wanna be mean.”

“I know bubs. We were both scared.”

“I love you mama.”

“I love you too.” You kiss the top of his head and hug him for as long as he needs too. Pulling back, you cup his face with both of your hands. “Happy birthday.”

Soon he pulls away and moves to hug Bucky.

“Happy birthday bubs.”

“Thanks. Did you know they were coming back today?” Henry turns to look at Lottie who is giving him a mischievous smile.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Is a suwpwise. Duh.” Lottie rolled her eyes.

“When did she learn how to do that?” You whisper to Bucky.

“She spent way too much time with Nat and Sofia.”

“Oh great.” You mutter. “So what do you say sweet boy, party or family hang out?”

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you rest?”

“I had all the rest I needed for now. Besides your dad and I made sure to pick a good theme for your birthday. Are you sure you don’t want to go see it at least?”

“You picked it?” Henry asks while looking at both of you wide eyed.

“Of course. Well it was your dad’s idea. I wish I would have been able to plan it though.” You gave Henry a sad smile.

“I wanna go to the party.” He says excitedly.

“Let’s go then.”

****

As always Tony out did himself. The largest of the shared living rooms had been turned into a fully functioning arcade. All types of retro arcade games were set up around the room, one of the bars had been turned into a prize booth and even the lighting was perfect. Anything you could find in an arcade you found here and there were even some of Henry’s favorite things available too.

There were banners hanging up that said ‘gamers don’t age, they level up’. Henry was wide eyed as he looked around and found that all of his favorite people were there including Sam’s nephews and Clint’s older son. Still it wasn’t packed with people which you greatly appreciated.

“Can I go play?” Henry looked up at you and Bucky.

“Of course bubs, it’s your birthday.” Bucky nods.

“I’ll find you later. C’mon baby let’s go.”

Bucky slips a hand around your waist as you watch the kids run further into the room. He leads you a bit further in but you stop him and nod in the direction of the bar.

“What in the world is going on there?” You were referring to Steve talking with Bruce’s new assistant.

They looked like complete opposites. Steve was animated and smiling while she was a bit more guarded, a bored expression on her face. Still there was a bit of lightness in her eyes as she looked at Steve. You wondered how it started and what it was in the first place.

“Don’t worry Sugar, we’ll find out soon enough.”

“You can’t tease him about it.”

“I won’t make a promise I don’t intend to keep.” Bucky says with a chuckle.

Just then Steve turns around just to take in the room and his whole face lights up when he sees you. You watch as he excuses himself and walks over to you.

“When did you get back?” He asks as he gives you both hugs.

“A few minutes ago. We wanted to surprise Henry.”

“So I’m assuming everything went well.”

“Yeah. I remembered everything. There’s-“ you sigh, your features darkening for a moment. “There’s someone from hydra still out there.”

“You sure? We haven’t gone through all of the files yet.”

“Trust me, there’s someone missing on the list of detainees.” Bucky adds. “But we’ll worry about that tomorrow. Right now we are here to celebrate.”

You smile up at him. Although the serum had healed all of the surgical incisions your body was still exhausted from the three months of hell you lived through, the surgery and the emotional rollercoaster too. So you decided on taking it easy. You walked through the room, finding your family or the team and talking. Sitting and just enjoying being back home.

****

“I’m going to win you a prize Sugar. Pick whatever teddy bear you want.” Bucky says with a smirk.

“I want that teddy that looks like you.” You point at the stuffie that had a black and gold arm.

“You got it.”

Bucky heads to the basketball game and shoots nothing but net. He ends up getting so many tickets he can get you the bear.

“Is this how you used to woo the girls you dated back in the 30s?” You asked as you hugged the bear to your chest.

“Maybe.”

You smile and kiss his cheek. “Thanks for my new sleeping buddy. I’m sure he’ll keep me safe.”

“What? There’s no way a stuffed bear is replacing me.”

“But he’s so cute and cuddly.”

“Sugar.” He gave you a halfhearted glare.

You kiss his cheek, laughing before you disappear between some of the arcade games with Bucky grumbling behind you. Charlotte and Olivia run past you, each of them holding some cotton candy and giggling. Henry is sitting at a racing game with Sam in the seat next to him, both of them competing for first place.

“You can’t use your own hammer, Point Break.” Tony tells Thor.

“But the objective is to hit these creatures.”

“You’re supposed to wack, not obliterate.”

You chuckle and shake your head as you walk past them and find your dad hanging out in the lounge area with a drink in hand. He pats the empty seat beside him and you take it, immediately resting your head on his shoulder. After making sure you’re ok, Bucky leaves to find Steve and challenge him in a game of pool.

“How are you feeling, kitten? Do you need to go up and rest? I’m sure Henry wouldn’t mind if you went and had a nap.” Eddie said.

“No, I'm ok. As long as I’m not pushing myself physically I’ll be fine. I’ve already missed so much.”

The two of you sit there for a while just watching everyone enjoy the party. Eddie just says something once in a while but mostly you sit in silence. It was nice but it felt surreal. Now you had a better understanding of why Bucky hated crowds. The space felt suffocating, as if all eyes were on you and every whispered conversation was about you. Maybe they were waiting for you to break. But it wouldn’t happen tonight. This night was reserved for Henry and he deserved a good birthday.

****

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.” Everyone stood around the birthday cake which was made to look like a huge video game controller, singing.

Bucky held Lottie while you had your hands resting on Henry’s shoulders.

“Happy birthday dear Henry, happy birthday to you.”

“Blow out your candles and make a wish.” You whisper.

Henry looks back at you with a smile. An innocence you’d barely seen in him since he was rescued. There was pure joy on his face as he turned to look at his dad and sister. He turns back to the cake and blows the candles out. Everyone cheers and you kiss the top of his head. You pull him back as Molly and Wanda begin to cut the cake. Soon enough everyone has a piece.

****

“You have a mess on your face sweet angel.” You say while trying to wipe Lottie’s face clean with a napkin.

“No mama.” Lottie pulls away, sticking her tongue out to try and lick away the frosting around her lips. Then she takes another spoonful of cake and shovels it in her mouth. “Habe some, mama.” She takes another spoonful and holds it up for you.

“No thank you, baby. I already had some.”

“Is kay mama. Habe some, is so yummy.”

You huff a laugh and accept the spoonful Lottie had offered you. She smiles before turning her attention back to her slice. This was very reminiscent of the night she called you mama for the first time. She was sitting on your lap yet again with a huge mess on her face. Everyone sat around talking and having a good time. This time though, Henry sat next to you and your family was here. Memories like this is what you would cling to in order to keep the nightmares at bay.

After a while the party calmed down. People were still playing video games but the atmosphere was more relaxed. You couldn’t fight the exhaustion anymore so you went to find Henry. He was waiting his turn to play dance, dance revolution.

“Hey birthday boy.” You tousled his hair to get his attention.

“Hey mama. Do you want to play this?”

“No it’s ok. I am going to go upstairs and lay down. I’m tired.”

Henry looked at the game and back at you unsure of what to do.

“I’m not saying you have to leave the party, baby. I’m just letting you know so you don’t think I left you, ok?” You caress his cheek and smile.

“Are daddy and baby going with you?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I’m just going to lay down for a little bit. Your dad and Lottie will still be running around. I’ll try to come back down later.”

“It’s ok mama.” Henry gives you a hug. “Thank you for coming back for my birthday.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” You kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you later.”

“Ok mama.”

You watch as Henry gets up to select what he wanted to dance to before looking for Bucky. You find him with Luke, Olivia and Charlotte on the balcony. The girls were admiring the twinkling lights of the city as night fell while Bucky and Luke had a conversation. You go up to them and let them know you’re going to be leaving the party. Bucky takes your hand and gives your knuckles a quick kiss before watching you walk away.

At some point after you had fallen asleep Bucky joined you in bed. The weight of his arm around your waist and the soft rise and fall of his chest against your back brought you comfort. You couldn’t, however, fall back asleep. As quietly and quickly as you could you slid out of bed and out of the room. You needed some fresh air so you slid the door to the balcony open and stepped outside.

“Mama?” Henry asks from the door.

You turn, surprised to see him awake at whatever time it was. He walks towards you, rubbing the sleep out of his eye with the back of his hand. You open your arms for him.

“I was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” He asks as he leans into your warm embrace.

“I’m sorry sweet boy, I guess I was just thinking too much.”

“It’s ok. Why are you out here? Aren’t you cold?” Henry presses himself closer to you.

“Not really but let's go inside.”

You head to the living room and get comfortable on the couch. Henry lays down and rests his head on your lap. Immediately you start playing with his hair while he holds your free hand.

“When do you know if a birthday wish worked, mama?”

“Well I think it depends on what you wished for. If it was something big then it could take some time.” You look down at him. “Why?”

“I just want my wish to work fast.”

“What did you wish for, sweet boy?”

Henry sits up and faces you. “I wished for you to not feel scared like I was when I got here.”

“Oh baby, you didn’t have to use your wish on that. I’ll get better little by little I promise.” Henry’s revelation made you tear up just a bit.

“I know. I just wanted to help you like you and daddy and baby always help me.”

You smile at him then pull him in for a hug.

“You are helping me, sweet boy. Just by being here with me right now and giving me some cuddles.”

“I can do that.”

“I know you can. I love you so much my sweet, sweet boy.” You kiss the top of his head before getting comfortable on the couch.

“I love you too mama. I missed you so much.” Henry whispers.

“I missed you too.”

Henry ends up cuddled up on your lap. His face is buried in the crook of your neck. Soft snores fill the quiet room. Your hold on him is strong and you struggle to not think about the things he must have gone through now that you have experienced some of them.

The two of you stay on the couch until the morning when you’re woken up. Charlotte, wanting to be included in some cuddles, hopped up on the couch and found a spot on your lap before practically falling asleep again. For the next few weeks it’s the same routine. You wake up due to the nightmares and someone always finds you. The kids comfort you by cuddling on the couch, Bucky by letting you cry on his shoulder.

It was true what Bucky had said, it wouldn’t be easy but you would manage. Your life would be slightly different now but you had a reason to keep pushing forward. You had good days and you had bad days but you pushed through it all. There was lost time you needed to make up with the kids and you intended to do just that.

Ch. 33

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sebsgirl71479 · 1 year

Text

I'm with you

Bucky Barnes x Plus Sized Reader

Warnings: none just absolute fluff.

AN/: I had a dream the other night, and this is the result of it. Most of my dreams consist of some kind of music. The song that this story follows is one of my all-time favorites. Hope you enjoy it purely self-indulgent as you will read. Typed on my phone, so sorry for any mistakes. The picture above is courtesy of nix on Instagram. I'm dedicating this to @christycurlswrites @povlvr

Bucky barnes was a man who loved music. Listened to it whenever he had free time. It was a way of escapism from the life he used to have. Lately, he has had a melody in his head that he can't seem to figure out. It sounds like a song from this time, but not now. So when he goes to the bar that is down the block from his apartment, spends about a good 30 mins going through the jukebox playing songs, hoping he will find it.

Y/N loved music as well. She thinks every type of emotion can be traced to music. Y/N grew up around music, with siblings and parents who constantly had it playing. Weather in their own rooms or out in the backyard while gardening or cooking on the grill. One day, she was fliting around her Brooklyn apartment, putting a few books that she had bought away. When suddenly she had the urge to hum a melody. She sort of recognized the tune, but she kept singing it anyway.

After tidying up her apartment y/n decided to head to her local bar and have a drink or two and talk with the sweet lady that tended the bar sometimes. Making sure she looked presentable y/n grabbed her leather jacket and headed out into the early autumn night.

Tonight was just another night for bucky. After having a quick debrief with Sam and going home to shower and refresh, he headed to his regular bar for another night of figuring out this song in his head. So far, it's been 2 weeks since he started this search. He didn't mind it so much. The bar was good, and the older lady bartender sometimes tried flirting with him, but she only did it because her husband got a kick out of it.

You were sitting at the bar nursing your drink and losing yourself in the music that was being played on the jukebox near you. You look up and a very handsome brunette walks up to the bar top and greets Eleanor, your sweet bartender lady. He orders a beer and goes over to the jukebox and starts entering money and pressing a fee buttons for several songs. You think to yourself 'hm this guy must like music as much as I do.' He heads back over to the middle of the bar where he left beer and sits back and waits for a new song to play.

"Pist Eleanor, who is that man?"

"Oh honey, that's James. Such a sweet but quiet man. I think he loves music more than you dear."

"Oh, I doubt that, but it is nice to know a fellow music lover."

"He's been coming her for a while now, but lately, he said he's had a tune in his head where he can't figure out what the song is. So he comes here plays the jukebox for a bit, hoping he will find the song."

"Well, I hope he finds it. I've had a song in my head all day today, and I'm trying to remember it."

As soon as your conversation ends, you hear a familiar cello playing the beginning of one of your favorite songs. So you start to sing along with it.

Bucky is on his 2nd beer when that same melody he has been humming finally comes through the speakers. When the chorus starts, he hears the woman to his left start singing at the same time. She has the most beautiful voice and even more beautiful face. He can't stop staring at her and Eleanor can see this.

"James, I see you staring. Why do you go and ask her to dance? It's a beautiful song."

"Eleanor, this is the song that's been stuck in my head. When I finally hear it, this woman is singing it as well. Who is she, she's beautiful? "

"That's y/n, she's a music lover like yourself. Go, ask her to dance."

Bucky takes another sip of his beer and finds the courage to walk up to you. As he walks up to her, she gets more beautiful.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you, but you have a beautiful voice. I know this is strange but would you like to dance with me?"

You look up at the brunette and can't stop staring at his stunning blur eyes. Something in you is compelling you to agree.

"This is one of my favorite songs. I would love to."

You take his hand, and he leads you a bit away from the bar. He brings his right arm around your waist while you hold his left hand to the side. You both can stop staring at the other. So entranced with each other.

"My name is James, but you can call me Bucky. What's your name?"

"I'm y/n. It's nice to meet you Bucky."

After a few moments, you let go of his left hand and bring it up to the back of his neck. While he holds you closer by the waist. Still staring each other in the eyes.

"They remind me us, don't you think henry?"

"Yes, they do, darling. I hope these two have what we have."

Henry gives his wife a kiss on the forehead has they continue to watch the two of you dance.

The two of you are in your own world while dancing, the outside world doesn't exist.

"I've had this songs melody in my head for the past few weeks, and I never knew what it was until tonight. Then you started to sing along with it, and I feel like I was meant to meet you because of this song."

"I loved this song when I was younger and have always loved singing it."

"I know we just met y/n, but I feel this pull towards you that I've never felt before."

"I feel it too."

"I want to kiss you so bad."

"Then what's stopping you? "

Bucky leans down and captures your lips in a delicate, sweet kiss. His lips are so soft, and you can taste the bit a beer on his tongue and mint as well. You both feel like you need this is like oxygen to live. You both pull away after a few minutes and press your foreheads together.

"You know, it's not too late. Want to grab some dinner at the diner down the street? They make a great apple pie."

"I'd love dinner. Anything to stay in your presence."

You take each other's hand and walk back towards the bar to close out your tabs.

"Don't worry about your bill kids, its on us. Go have fun."

Eleanor and Henry can't keep the smiles off their faces. Bucky walks over to your seat and grabs your jacket, and helps you into it.

As the two of you walk towards the door, you hear Henry shout back to you.

"Don't forget to invite us to the wedding!"

And with that, you and bucky head onto the streets of Brooklyn. Hopefully, it will be towards a lifetime of love, dancing, and music.

#bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #spotify #Spotify

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starrybxcky · 10 months

Text

And then there were two. - Ch. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F! Reader

Summary: Its been three months since Bucky goes dark for a deep undercover mission and when he returns you can't help but sense that something isn't quite right.

A/N: This fic will get darker as it progresses. Relevant warnings will be placed at the beginning of each chapter. Minors DNI. Please share your thoughts and theories with me!! I'm excited to get back into writing and look forward to hearing from you! Reblogs and comments are immensely appreciated xx Enjoy~

Word count: 2K

Warnings: None

GIF by unearthlydust

Its just past ten thirty when you crawl into bed, breathing out a deep sigh relief. You mindlessly stare at the ceiling as the day washes over you, finally allowing your muscles to relax and your mind to quiet down. You glance to your left and your heart starts to thump a little faster at the framed picture of you and Bucky. It was snapped by Sam on Bucky's birthday- the two of you laughing, Bucky's arm curled around your waist as you picked cake off his face. A sober smile graces your lips as you recall that day- It was a surprise party that you threw for Bucky. At the time the two of you were still dancing around each other with your feelings- worried about the other not reciprocating, not wanting to ruin the strong friendship you'd built over the past two years. But that night, when it was just the two of you on the balcony, Bucky had kissed you and quite literally swept you off your feet.

Your fingers softly brush your lips as you recall how soft and warm his lips fell. You could never forget the sparks you felt as his lips molded with yours, the feeling is ingrained into your skin.

Grabbing the frame, your fingers brush across Bucky's figure.

Now that you look back at the photo, you and Bucky already looked like a couple. The love was there, silent and buried in each other's eyes as you looked at each other.

Your heart sinks.

You miss him.

You bite back a sigh and call out to FRIDAY.

"Any updates from Bucky yet?" You ask, hopeful.

"Not yet, I'm afraid." FRIDAY replies quietly, matching your mood.

It's been three months since Bucky left for an uncover mission and given its nature, all communication was cut off from the moment he jumped off that plane. Thankfully he wasn't alone, Sam was with. Despite the way they bicker like two siblings who can't stand each other, you knew they had each other's back. They'd come a long way since their first encounter.

Despite knowing that these types of missions never have a fixed timeline, you wish you had some idea of when they they'd be back. It could be another day, two weeks or two months. You'll never know until Bucky walks through that door.

You wondered how he looked now, if he kept his stubble or grew his hair out. You clicked your tongue. The last thing he would be worrying about on a mission is a hair cut but for some reason you couldn't picture him growing his hair out again- not a for a while at least.

Sparing the picture one last longing glance, you place it onto the pillow beside you and welcome the sweet lull of sleep, hoping to see Bucky in your dreams.

Tiny prickles run along your neck and your eyes snap open, breath hitching as you find silhouette looming at the end of your bed.

A familiar a pair of ocean blues gleam under the moonlight through the cracked curtains. The room is still, like time has frozen. You're afraid to move a muscle. Your ears are ringing and your heart is racing, unable to tell if this is some sick dream or reality. Your eyes sting, begging for reprieve but you refuse to blink, scared that if you do, he'll vanish into thin air.

At first glance one might mistake his gaze to fall on you, but upon closer inspection, his attention is beyond you, settled on the silver frame resting beside you. You're confused and unable to see or think clearly since you woke up abruptly- your eyes must be playing tricks on you because you think you catch him glaring at the picture. But its gone in the blink of an eye- damn eyes.

Blinking away the sleep provides you with more clarity to see Bucky gazing down at you, expression unreadable. The rush of excitement coursing through your veins quickly dissipates. Somethings wrong. Your hand reaches as you're about to speak but Bucky beats you to it.

"Security's been breached. We need to leave. Now." His voice isn't exactly harsh, but there's an edge to it that leaves you uneasy.

Your forehead creases as you look up at Bucky.

Where's the 'Hey, Doll. Missed me?' and a sweet kiss?

You're suddenly aware of how heavy and dry your tongue feels in your mouth. You swallow harshly as you look at Bucky's outstretched hand before looking up at him. He's closer to you now, and for the first time you can clearly make out every inch of his face. His signature stubble is present and to your surprise he had grown out his hair. His eyebrows are pinched together and the corners of his lips are turned downwards every so slightly. He doesn't look upset. Based on what he'd just said, his expression leans closer to serious but there's something about the air around him that has your stomach twisting with nerves. His tongue darts out, running over his lower lip as you meet his gaze and your heart jumps because he's been drinking you in just as you were a second ago. There's something dark that flashes in his eyes but its gone as fast as it came and you don't have time to dwell on it because the silent urgency in his eyes springs you into action, having you take his head to help you up.

Your rooms spins in every direction as you're pulled to your feet and loose your balance but Buckys quick to catch you, pulling you to his warm chest . A wave of embarrassment washes over you, sobering you up real quick.

Gosh- what was wrong with you? Sure, it had been a few hours since you went to sleep, but you've pulled through much worse with less so why is your body acting up now of times when there's a major threat present?

"Hey," Bucky calls out to you softly, drawing you from your thoughts. "You okay, Sweetheart?" He looks at with you concern.

All you manage to do is nob dumbly.

You work quickly to slip on your work uniform in dark noting the electricity has been cut and call out for FRIDAY.

Nothing.

Anxious nerves creep up your spine. This isn't a good sign. In the rare occurrence of an electrical outage FRIDAY would still run, having its own isolated source of energy. Only a handful of people knew this. So whoever was behind this meant meant business. And they must have inside information, knowing that you were the only one present at the compound tonight- minus Bucky's sudden appearance. It was too convenient to be a coincidence.

You cursed under your breath. Now wasn't the time to dwell on the why or how; it was to eliminate the threat. As you follow Bucky out of your room pause as does Bucky.

"Wait- where's Sam?" You ask with the tilt of your head.

Bucky tenses but plays it off as he looks back, tongue poking out to wet his lips, "He's on his way back, tying up loose ends. I came back as soon as I could." Too see you. He says, turning back to meet your gaze.

Bucky watches you closely.

A moment passes and you nod, accepting his answer without a second thought, turning to fix your tactical belt while Bucky's shoulders visibly relax.

"We should split up," you begin "I'll-" Bucky's eyes widen.

"-No!" He calls out, panicked.

You shoot him a puzzled look. That's the standard protocol for situations like these. You silently wait for him to explain himself.

Bucky clicks his tongue and looks back and fourth, accessing the situation.

"Okay, you take the left and I'll go right, secure the entrance and I'll meet you in five."

You agree and take off down the pitch black hallway, headed towards the electrical room. Your steps are light and smooth, blending in with the silence that lurks around the compound. Your muscles tense and ready to attack. Another dizzy spell hits you, stopping you in your tracks. After taking a moment to steady yourself, you pull out one of your ribbed knives from your tactical belt. Given your body's sudden unreliable condition, having a weapon on hand didn't hurt to make your job easier.

Your steps halt upon approaching the electrical room when you notice the door wide open, grip firming around your knife as you cautiously approach. You peak in to find.....nothing. Your body goes lax and you look around the room dumbfounded.

Nothing seems to be amiss. There's no wires ripped out, machines damaged or sabotaged...nothing. You frown, biting on your lower lip as the gears in your head try to make sense of your confusion.

You momentarily stare at the ceiling and groan out in frustration. Nothing about this night is making sense. As you're about step out and rejoin Bucky, a familiar voices calling out your name stops you.

Your do a quick 360, a bit too quick which your head reprimands you for.

"...FRIDAY...?" You call out cautiously.

"I'm here. Please practice caution as the intruder is close and fast approaching." You stiffen, turning your attention at the door. "Please avoid communicating with me in their presence, they believe that I'm offline and I think that's the only reason they have not harmed you as yet. I have already alerted Mr. Stark and the rest of the team. They should be here soon. Please wait a little longer."

Confusion floods your mind as FRIDAY speaks. "Wait a sec-" Before you can voice your concerns, a sudden movement catches your attention from the corner of your eye.

You charge forward, knife ready when a metal arm comes out of nowhere grabbing your wrist and pins your arm behind your back. A grunt leaves your lips as as you're pinned against the wall by a firm chest.

"Bucky! Ugh- get off me." You groan, attempting to wiggle free.

Immediately, your feel a wave of cool air hit your back as he withdraws and releases you.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Reflex." Bucky says sheepishly, awkwardly scratching his cheek.

You huff and eye him with faux suspicion as you dust yourself off and he grins in return.

"You're back quick. Everything fine your side?" You ask.

"Who were you talking to?" Bucky asks in the same breath. "- Just now, who were you talking to?" He repeats, his tone light. An awkward smile on his face.

You pause and blink. "Oh, it was FRIDAY." You say as you begin to make your way back to the front, Bucky trailing behind you.

"FRIDAY?" Bucky echoes and there's something about his tone that sounds weird. "Hmm....." Bucky thinks aloud. "I thought our friend was offline."

"Yeah, me too. But apparently he didn't want to alert the intruders so...." You draw to a stop when you no longer hear Bucky's light footsteps behind you and turn to look back. "Bucky? What's wrong?"

Bucky wordlessly stares at you, unmoving and you feel that twisting in your gut again- Before you can react, Bucky's eyes widen with surprise and he reaches out to you- yelling your name as a bright light flashes behind you, effectively blinding you. You feel the impact of something hard hitting your back and before you realize it, you're sent flying across the hallway, crashing through a wall.

Your body weighs you down like an anchor, preventing you from moving an inch. Your heavy eyes blink slowly, fighting with every ounce of strength you have left to stay conscious but its a loosing battle. The last thing you see is Bucky's panicked face. His mouth is moving but you can't hear anything or make out a word-

and then, nothing.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #winter soldier #starry.writes

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ltbarnes · 9 months

Text

I Still Worship the Flame

[Stark U #5]

Summary: Everyone but you are at the cinema watching dumb movie marathons. You lay home in a sea of tissues, drowning in schoolwork with a pathetic fever. But what they don’t know can’t hurt them, right?

Pairing: college!Steve Rogers x reader, college!Bucky Barnes x reader, college!Sam Wilson x reader, college!Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: sickness? just a really bad cold really nothing graphic, Steve and Bucky being a little overbearing, schoolwork (the biggest warning), angry reader

A/N: haven’t posted any of my writing since March 🤠 forgive me please and enjoy!! I have another one-shot coming soon though so you’ll get a little more of me than usual

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

As the hundredth whine from your lips sounds out today, you are glad that no one else is home. You would be scolded for being more dramatic than Sam during that week after his concussion while simultaneously yelled at for doing too much when you should be resting.

The words have since long started to blur together and the pen is clutched tightly in your hand without even touching the paper for half an hour. You can't remember comprehending the change from afternoon sun to complete darkness outside of your window, but you do know that you have piled on three layers of clothes only to tear them off of your overheated body in the last hour.

Fucking fevers. It's incredible how you forget how absolutely horrible they are between each time, but battling this one seems especially miserable when you have a test in four days. Your roommates had begged you to come with them to this god awful long Lord of The Rings marathon at the local cinema, but you were stressed out about the test enough without losing a full day of studying.

You have gotten some things done. It's just that your room is drowning in tissues, and the pills you've taken haven't done shit and your back hurts from sitting for so long. What you really want to do is take your comforter out to the couch and open all the windows with the AC on full blast. No—what you actually want is to be rid of this fucking cold and sit lodged between Steve and Bucky at the cinema, warm hands on your thighs with an obscene amount of chocolate in your lap. You know that Bucky would whisper random facts about the movies in your ear during the entirety of it, and that Steve would give him angry glares for speaking in the theater.

God, if it weren't for your body's excessive temperature, you would kill for them to hold you. It would suck in reality, because both of them run hot and that is the last thing you need right now. But you miss them. You miss them all the time lately and it frustrates you, because six months ago things weren't like this. Steve and Bucky were two of your annoying, though very sweet, roommates who bickered like siblings constantly at ungodly hours in the morning and left dirty dishes out in the living room (thank fucking god Bucky has stopped doing that).

Now, you dream weird dreams about them at night and shiver everytime they touch you. Calling you by name has suddenly turned into 'sweetheart' and 'bug' (still can't quite figure that one out), while merely the sight of Steve unintentionally flexing his bicep and Bucky moving his metal fingers makes you want to escape into your room. It's hard, because they are pretty much doing that everyday.

Worst of all is your resentment towards Natasha—she caught on so quickly that you barely managed to slip out of Steve's room the night you slept over before she confronted you about your feelings. She very conveniently left out the bet she and Sam had set up, but Bucky found out about that two weeks later and pushed Sam into some bushes. The latter complained about how Bucky didn't cater to his 'bush-related trauma' for much too long after that.

But at the same time, she reinforces your delusions about them liking you back. They are very protective of you, sure, but so are Sam and Natasha. Actually, that might have something to do with your constant knack of getting into the trouble rather than harboring secret, unconditional love for you. Natasha says they look at you with puppy dog eyes, but you think they just always look like that. And the constant touching and pet names are just—it's just who they are. You think.

Another onslaught of heat crashes over your tired body, and you give up completely. There comes a point where even you can't force yourself to work anymore. It's too draining. Instead you gulp down another pill, turn off the lights and throw yourself onto your bed. You groan out of pleasure, but know that it will soon disappear only to be replaced by torturous discomfort.

Yeah, it's good that they aren't here. Gathering the energy to deal with a smug Sam and overbearing Natasha is not in your capacity.

Besides, facing them in this state feels embarrassing. You'll pull yourself together by the time they come home. Just a short nap, and you'll fix your hair. Just twenty minutes of sleep, and you'll put on something presentable. Just some rest, and you'll look good for them.

"Ah, shit—why's it fucking pitch black in here?" Sam seethes as he now limps on his newly stubbed toe, reaching for the hallway light.

The living room is empty and so is the kitchen, they notice that pretty quickly. Usually when you're home alone you cook something elaborate with music blasting in the background, or rewatch that show for the thousandth time. Bucky always gives you a hard time for it, but he usually ends up watching it with you anyways.

"Y/n?" Steve calls out, taking off his jacket before hanging it up on the rack placed by the door.

"Hey, bug—we're home!" Bucky says, walking further into the apartment while searching with his eyes.

The lack of answer gives them anxiety, even though it's probably nothing. Might've gone out. It's Saturday night after all. But you don't really have many close friends outside of them. Unless you're on a date, which quite frantically makes Bucky want to throw up. Yeah, he chooses not to believe that for his own sake.

Natasha bites off another section of her snickers, the one she made everyone stop at the gas station for, while toeing off her shoes. Shoe-free household since you moved in, but exceptions are allowed in emergencies. If you knew that both Bucky and Steve have on theirs right now, you would be mad. But Natasha isn't about to nag about that—she's more focused on getting a huge glass of water for herself. She knows those idiots will take care of whatever's going on.

Steve knocks on your door, waits for too many seconds before calling out for you again.

"Y/n? You okay?" he asks, leaning against the wall.

And because Steve is a considerate man, he doesn't open the door without an answer. But the same can't be said for Bucky—he shoulders past the former and pushes down the door handle without even so much as a sound. He is met with resistance as soon as he steps over the threshold, but all of it comes from the guy behind him.

"Buck—no," Steve seethes through a whisper, trying to pull him back by his shirt unsuccessfully.

Your room is as dark as the rest of the apartment was. Warm and stuffy, rid of any fresh air from outside of the four walls. You've been in here for a long time.

The small strip of light coming into your room reveals your figure splayed out over the unruly covers, a sign of tossing and turning in your sleep.

"Let her sleep, Buck," Steve sighs, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand while leaning against the doorway.

It would be near goddamn foolish to ever expect him to listen. Steve isn't surprised when Bucky steps towards your bed anyway. He lowers down into a crouch, reaching his right hand out for your face.

"Christ, she's burning up," Bucky sighs, pushing himself up to his feet again.

"Shit," Steve answers, passing the threshold into your room while forgetting the previous reservations he held. And as if Bucky's judgement isn't enough, he presses the back of his hand to your forehead. Steve's hand is normally warm, but your skin is a hot furnace against the lines and creases of his palm.

"Fuck, we just left her here all alone." Bucky shakes his head. "We watched fucking Lord of the Rings that we've seen a million fucking times and she laid here suffering with a fucking fever."

"Tone it down with the 'fucks', will you?" Steve tells him.

He turns on the small lamp standing on your bedside table, soft light revealing the dozen tissues spilling out of your trash can. There's not much doubt about your sickness now.

"What do we do? Oh god, what do we do?" The brunette starts pacing as if he has never been more stressed in his life.

"Calm down, Buck. It's a cold, not a heart attack." Steve raises his brows, turns around to glare at his friend. "You've taken care of me dozens of times when I was like this as a child. Go get a glass of water and a few Tylenols."

It seems like it takes a few seconds for Bucky to register Steve's words. Even then he looks anxious, as if he doesn't want to leave. This makes Steve nervous, because Bucky never acts like this, but then again he feels the same way. That's why he told his friend to get you medicine instead of himself.

But Steve could never deny Bucky anything, even if it costs him time watching over the girl he almost certainly cares for more than a friend should. He ignores that part though, and pushes himself up to a stand.

"I'll go," he sighs, gesturing for Bucky to replace him by your side.

The short trek towards the kitchen is filled with anxiety. Why does his heart beat so fast when it's probably just a cold? He just told Bucky to calm down despite feeling anything but calm himself. Just gotten very good at hiding it through the years, he supposes.

Steve has never been the caretaker. He so desperately wanted to be that person during his childhood—the fierce protector, the strong hero, the one bullies cowered away from instead of running towards. Maybe he has been overcompensating for his lack of heroism in his early years now with his friends. The guilt is always eating him up if even the slightest thing happens, because most of the time he can stop those things now. Steve is tall and muscular, fast too, and he's not afraid to speak up anymore.

But things like these—sicknesses—he cannot help except for pouring water down your throat and make sure you're comfortable. Because he wants you to be comfortable so badly, as the slightest sight of pain in any shape or form makes him as gloomy as Sam on days where his favorite football team loses. Steve has known for a while now that you—the girl living on the other end of the hallway who curls up at his side on movie nights and bakes him cookies after each test he's had—is much more than just a roommate. God, he waits by the door for you to come home like a puppy, for goodness's sake. Gets a hard on at least once a day no matter what you are wearing.

And Steve really likes this thing he and Bucky has going on with you. That caretaking thing that he never has gotten a chance to do is now so natural. He and Bucky has adapted this protector-role in your life that makes Steve feel so good. He likes making you happy, making sure you're safe. Like he has a purpose.

"She alright?" Sam speaks up as Steve passes by his room, changing out of his thick sweatshirt to a thinner t-shirt.

"Not really. She has a fever," Steve answers, both hands filled with water, pills and more tissues.

"Oh, shit. How bad? Dr. Wilson bad?"

"No." Steve rolls his eyes. One time Sam helped patch you up and now he has been calling himself Dr. Wilson ever since. "We're taking care of it. She hasn't woken up yet."

"Well, just call for me if she gets tired of your needy asses and wants some Sammy loving instead."

Steve raises his eyebrows, shakes his head like he always does, and moves on. He purposefully quiets his steps down while walking past the occupied bathroom—a fuzzing Natasha is not what you need right now. You already got two overbearing people in your room.

The door is shouldered open by Steve as he returns, realizing as soon as he steps inside that your eyes are open, tiredly nodding along to whatever recap Bucky is giving you of the movies. Steve stays silent, setting down his gifts beside you before crouching down. Soon enough you have him staring up at you, that ever present frown in between his brows.

"Now, will you tell us why in the goddamn hell you did not call or text any of us to say that you were sick?" Steve asks sternly, though his hand is gentle on your head. "Excuse the language."

You let a chuckle slip despite his lecture, because of course he needs to apologize for the very tame curse words inserted into his sentences. Of course Steve scolds you before even saying hello. Such a dad.

"You were at the cinema..." you croak out, glancing down at your intertwined fingers.

"So?" Bucky says with a look on his face that reveals he has no idea what you are talking about.

"I thought you wouldn't notice if I just—didn't think it would get this bad." You pout visibly. A bead of sweat has formed in your hairline, steadily making its trek down your forehead.

"Wait a minute, Y/n—you thought we just wouldn't notice you holing yourself up in your room for days until you were fine again?" Bucky raises his eyebrows, nearly rolling his eyes on you. It sounds dumb now that he says it out loud.

"Yes..."

"For god's sake, bug." He lets his palms scrub over his face while Steve sighs, balancing on the scale between amused and concerned.

"I didn't want to bother you! Besides I'm—this is not my finest moment. Kind of disgusting right now," you say.

"Now, c'mon," Steve tells you with a pointed gaze. "You know we don't care about that."

"You look fucking adorable right now. Just a little shiny, that's all." Bucky pokes you in the forehead, earning an offended gasp from your lips.

"Hey! I have a fever, asshole. I can't help it." The expression on your face is offended, but inside it's all warm and fuzzy because he called you adorable. Bucky fucking called you adorable.

But the playful grin on your lips soon turns into rumbling coughs, hiding your face into your elbow to avoid spreading saliva all over the two men beside you.

"Hey, hey. Take some water, Y/n. Here." Steve's hand flies to your back, rubbing gently, while reaching out the glass towards your lips.

Your throat is all scratchy and sore, and coughing up half of your lungs does not help in the least. But gulping down the cold liquid soothes the pain for the moment, even though most of the water drops down your chin.

"Should I...uh—"

Bucky reaches his hand out towards the box of tissues on your nightstand. Calloused fingers brush over your skin as he rids it of the stray drops, a metal hand tilting your chin up.

It's entirely too silent as you sit and let your face be dried like a toddler. Steve puffs up the pillow behind you, readjusts it until your face is getting enough support.

You don't say anything. Nobody says anything. The two of them work in tandem as they usually do, and have done since they were little boys, while making sure you're as comfortable as you possibly can be.

Soon enough there is a fan dragged in from someone else's room (you think there might be an angry Samuel barging in here any minute to demand it back), three boxes of napkins on your bedside table (you did not know there were that many napkins in your apartment) and four blankets on your bed in case you start shivering again (you do not own four blankets).

You get up to go to the bathroom and end up being carried instead. Being left alone is something you have to literally beg for, because you might, in their words, "pass out". The door remains unlocked as a compromise.

It's sometime around 12 am that you switch off the lights, still feverish and so tired of the sickness already. Mostly you're tired of the babying. But you don't say anything about the fact that both Steve and Bucky remain in your room, sitting on the goddamn floor even though you've told them several times that you have a desk chair and a bean bag. Actually, they have their own beds right on the other side of the hallway. Stupid boys.

They fall asleep pretty quickly, if judging by their snores. Both of them will deny their obnoxious sounds in the morning when you tell them. It makes you happy in one way, because Bucky usually has trouble not staying awake for hours on end grumbling over everything under the sun. Steve is sometimes found in the kitchen at 3 am when you go up for a glass of water, staring blankly out of the window as if he has the entire world resting on his shoulders. On the other hand, you're now the only one awake with your misery and overthinking.

Steve and Bucky definitely cares about you. For you. That much is clear from the past few hours. But to which extent? Is this what they would do for any of their friends? You would like to think so. It feels self-centered to not believe that. But they have been so adamant on making sure you're safe and alright and comfortable today—telling funny stories to distract you and getting caught up in those meaningless, petty fights they know you enjoy so much. Stroking your cheek, calling you sweet names and constantly making you drink water. College boys don't act that way towards their friends, or anyone at all really. You don't know why they are like this.

At the same time, the sweet things have become almost too much. You didn't think it was possible. But it frustrates you that this has become a whole savior-situation for them. Maybe you should want that now. Many girls do—not having to lift a finger while two men come at your every beck and call, and you usually do too. But the thing is that they are not listening to you. They are deciding things for themselves about you.

There comes a point where being helpful and taking care of someone transcends into being condescending. You absolutely can dry away water from your chin yourself. You can go to the fucking bathroom by yourself too, and would actually prefer it that way if you had a say in it.

Maybe you're just sick to the point of extreme irritability. You're probably overreacting to their sweetness because of everything happening in your life right now—this comes at the worst possible time with your final exam for the year in just three days. The final grades for most of your classes come anytime now as well, and you're not sure you did so well in all of them. You haven't even gotten a job for the summer either because no one wants to hire you. It's all pretty shit at the moment.

Barely anything is in your control right now. Not even your own health and how you choose to deal with it, because there are two men hovering over you every second since they came home. This is the first breather you've gotten in way too many hours. You're actually surprised they fell asleep before making sure that you did too, but happy that they did.

Another hour passes before you give up. It's too hot in here, despite cracking the window open half an hour ago, and the fan doesn't do you any wonders. The air is too thick from the small space being occupied by two giants and a sick girl for hours on end, and your bed is too soft.

You silence your coughs as you sneak out of your room out onto the living room couch. It's colder out here. Quiet.

You fall asleep within two minutes.

"Sweetheart, wake up."

"C'mon, Y/n."

"Let her sleep, you assholes."

"She's burning up, for fuck's sake! We gotta do something!"

"Throw cold water on her."

"What the fuck, Sam?"

You groan, stirring awake while your eyes reluctantly flutter open. It feels like they have been glued shut. The fever-aches hit you instantly, distracting you from the mumbled voices right beside you as they try to gain contact.

"She's alive, at least," Sam says right before leaving the room. You barely notice.

"Y/n, hey, can you hear us?" Bucky asks, on his knees in front of the couch.

"Yes," you croak out, rubbing your eye while squinting. It's still early judging by the dimmed morning light coming into the apartment. "Wha—“

"Why did you leave? You have a 103 degree fever, baby. We have to cool you down."

You simply shake your head, letting out a distant hum while sinking down into the pillow once more, letting your eyelids close.

"C'mon. Sit up," Steve tells you, sneaking his hands around your back to push you upwards before you even have a chance to react to his words.

There's too many sounds around you, too many voices and hands prying your body around. You want quiet, like how it was when you went out here a few hours ago. What you sought after from the beginning.

"I want to be alone."

"Well, we're not going to fucking leave you alone right now, Y/n," Bucky says, stress practically seeping out of his pores.

Steve returns from the kitchen. You didn't notice him leaving. He reaches a cold, wet rag out to Bucky who immediately presses it to your burning forehead.

"I can do that myself."

"Nonsense. Just rest," Steve tells you.

"I'm serious. Guys, it's fin—"

"Can you get me the pills on her nightstand?"

He turns his head over his shoulder, nodding for Natasha who disappears into your room without so much as a blink to confirm. Your frustration grows with each second—Steve just entirely ignored you to speak over your words. He doesn't usually do that.

Red hair comes into view again, at least as much as you can see of her from underneath the rag covering half of your eyesight. She tosses the bottle, and you're lucid enough to try and catch it. Bucky grabs it instead.

But when he pours out a pill and begins prodding at your lips you push him away. It's too much.

"Bucky, stop!"

This is the thing with the two of them—you love being cared for like they watch over you, but right now it just feels demeaning. As if they believe you can't do anything by yourself, as if you will fall and break your bones each time you stand or confront someone who has done you wrong without bodyguards crowding your space. Their intentions are good, so good, but right now it feels like unnecessary babying. You are a grown woman who just happens to have very bad luck, but that doesn't mean you can't handle yourself at all.

As your yelling echoes through the now quiet room, their expressions fall, even though they did not look too chipper to begin with. Bucky inches back just slightly. Your tone was harsh enough to know that something is wrong.

"I get that the two of you are trying to help me right now, but I can lift my own fucking fingers!" Your face is hidden beneath your hands, head tilted back with a groan.

You can almost feel how their faces change right in front of you, postures tense up. It's not what you wanted—that is their reaction when being confronted, and this is not a scolding. At least you didn't intend it to be from the beginning.

"I just want to sleep right now, okay? I'm not going to die." Your voice softens into a whisper, a large contrast from the previous yelling that has the room quiet as a mouse.

Another three seconds of silence pass after your statement. Now they won't say anything? Steve runs a hand over his mouth, looking away from your gaze. Nervous.

"Uh...okay." He nods, despite looking like he doesn't want to agree. "Just—just take the Tylenol. If it gets worse you'll tell us, right?"

You don't really answer in the way he wants you to, which is not at all. You can tell by the way he purses his lips. Bucky just looks scarily neutral, as if he's schooling his face with every ounce of willpower in his body.

"Alright, boys. Scatter," Natasha says, waving her hands towards their rooms like she's directing an airplane. You guess that's about the organization you need to coordinate the three of them.

Before you can catch Steve and Bucky's conflicted glances, and Sam's slightly shocked expression, you roll around to face the back of the couch. As peace falls over the room, so does sleep once again.

Steve and Bucky take turns tiptoeing into the living room to watch over you each hour.

Natasha sits in the living room chair reading from her iPad when you wake up. It's dark outside—you've been asleep the entire day. She has a cup of tea and half a cookie left on her plate sitting on the table, and does not even stir when you speak up from out of nowhere. Damn her spy skills.

"What time is it?" you croak out, so unbelievably hoarse that you can't even believe words are coming out of your mouth. You kind of regret speaking at all.

"7:32," she tells you while pushing a glass of water your way. The glass is devoured immediately.

While drying away the stray drops of water from your skin, you put the back of your hand against your forehead to realize your fever has gone down significantly. Not gone entirely, you think, but so much better. The only thing worse is the lack of anyone else in this room besides you and Nat.

"Where is everyone?" you ask her, pushing yourself up slightly until you sit up in the couch.

Natasha must instantly clock your hesitant tone, the slight trace of regret in your voice that manages to seep out through your cold-affected throat. She turns your way, leaning forward slightly.

"Hiding in their rooms."

Your face soon gets buried in your hands, leaning back with a groan from your lips.

"I was too harsh on them, wasn't I?" you say suddenly, letting her decipher your muffled words. "Fuck, I upset them. I was too mean."

"No, no. Hey, no," Natasha interjects, clasping her hand around your wrist to reveal your face again. "Babe, you are allowed to have boundaries, and they're not allowed to be bitchy about that."

"But I—they were just trying to help and I went off on them," you whine. "They haven't even talked to me since this morning. I feel like shit about that, Nat."

"They didn't talk to you 'cause you've been fucking asleep, that's why," she says. "And just because their intentions are good doesn't mean they have the right to be around you."

Natasha raises her perfect eyebrow, glancing over her shoulder towards the empty apartment behind her. Her words hit you like a fucking truck no matter how cliche that sounds, regardless of the fact that you have never taken any sort of advice of this sort to heart before. They never used to apply to you earlier.

"You decide that. And I'm sorry that their egos were bruised, but they need to learn how to respect people's wishes even when they believe they are doing the right thing by disregarding them," she tells you.

"Yeah," you breathe out. "Yeah, you're right."

"Sure as fuck I am," Natasha agrees. "Now go tell them that."

"I don't want to," you whine.

"But you have to. They're not gonna learn if you ignore them. And I know they're dying to check up on you."

"They haven't been in here?" you ask, trying to sound more curious than disappointed. Why are you disappointed? You were the one who wanted space.

"I banished them after they kept checking your temperature as you slept seven times within an hour."

Your eyebrows shoot to the roof. Actually, that makes you annoyed. It's cute, but you were sleeping! You had just yelled at them for invading your space and privacy! Goddamn men who worry too fucking much!

She smirks as you struggle your way up from the couch, angrily making your way towards the end of the hallway to your best ability in this state. The knocks on their doors are loud. Both doors open almost at the same time.

"Get in Rogers' goddamn room, Barnes," you mutter, before shouldering your way past the blonde wall of muscle looking entirely too confused for your liking. He's way too cute like that, and you're supposed to be angry.

The two men follow you like obedient puppies, sitting down on Steve's bed when you gesture towards it. You sway slightly after closing the door, resulting in someone shooting up from their position, but quickly falls back when you shoot the brown-haired guy a glare.

For what must be at least five seconds, you stare at the two young men now sitting on Steve's bed, staring up at you nervously as if you are the principal and they've been called into the office for disobedience. It's kind of fun, but you tire quickly of the staring contest, and instead run the back of your hand across your forehead with a sigh.

"I do just fine by myself," you say all of a sudden. No warning, no explanation. "And yes, it's really sweet that you two want to help, but you've completely ignored me and what I want since I got sick. That's not okay."

What started off strong and confident has now turned into looking anywhere but their eyes as you speak. Why are they making you nervous?

"I have boundaries when I'm sick too, you know? And it doesn't exactly feel like you actually care about me when you just push and prod at me like I'm some doll instead of a person who told you repeatedly that I didn't want your help."

You can't really see their reactions, since you're...not looking at them. Instead you have your arms engulfing themselves, fingers picking on your skin and the hem of your shirt nervously. You're not used to confrontation. Almost no training in scolding people at all. Especially not when it comes to people you care about so deeply. But it has to be done, according to Natasha. And maybe you know that she's right.

"And I'm mad at you. But I know that your intentions are good, and this doesn't have to be a big thing...but I just wanted you to know how I felt."

Too many seconds of silence passes after your little speech is done. The only sound in the room is your collective breathing. You're still looking down to the floor, watching your toes wiggle as a distraction.

"You can speak now, if you want to," you add timidly after what must have been half a minute.

The sound of Bucky letting out a long pent up breath almost makes you laugh, but you school your expression as you finally look him in the eyes. He almost burst watching you so fidgety, refusing to look at either of them.

"I'm sorry, babe," Bucky says, volume nearing on a whisper. He didn't mean to say that last word. "I just—I get kind of panicky when people get sick. You know, Steve—"

"I know about Steve's sickness, Buck," you tell him.

"Yeah, but...sometimes when he was like this it would be a life or death situation. Y/n, I've been the one to call 911 several times when I didn't think Steve would make it."

"I didn't know that," you say. "That it was that bad."

"He would start off exactly like you." Bucky pauses for too many seconds, scrunching his nose before shaking his head. "This fucking cough that would never disappear, and then the high fever. But I guess you have a better set of lungs and heart than he did back then."

"Oh, I—I don't know..."

"You're not about to go into heart failure because of a stupid cold," he says, but you think it's more of a reminder for himself. Steve looks at him funnily, as if he's almost sad by Bucky's words. Maybe he didn't know how much his friend saw during their childhood.

"We're sorry we ignored you, Y/n," Steve speaks up. "Now after, I...I can see that we were too overbearing. And you're right, that's not okay. But I don't want you to think we don't view you as a person. That's not true."

His blue eyes do that soft, concerned thing only Steve can pull off. It kind of pisses you off. You're supposed to be mad, but it's hard. Okay, you actually forgave them before you even entered the room, but they don't know that yet.

"Well, it kind of felt like you didn't," you mutter, looking away.

"I know. You don't deserve that," he answers. "I'm really sorry, sweetheart. I promise I'll do better."

You can't help but let the tiniest of smiles grace your lips. They barely notice it, you think.

"Okay. I guess I accept your apologies. But, this doesn't mean that I don't want to be helped at all—it just means that it will happen on my own terms. No more extreme coddling and babying."

Bucky gives you an amused smirk, rubbing his chin with his fingers. God, he would fit in perfectly in a douchy frat house. Idiot.

"You're kinda cute when you're yelling at us, you know?" he tells you. You think both you and Steve share the exact same reaction—Bucky gets a slap to the back of his head from the latter while you just scowl at him.

"You're such a jerk. That is not what you should take with you from this situation," you seethe, even though heat is traveling to your cheeks in an almost unhealthy pace. Goddamn him and his charm. You blame it on the fever.

"Punk," Steve mutters, shaking his head in disapproval while Bucky just ducks away from any further violence. There's still that smug grin on his face though.

"Bucky is a lot more likeable when he's shy and quiet, don't you think?" You turn to Steve, ignoring the brown-haired man now pouting at you. You've already forgotten why you're in this room in the first place. And damn it, you're starting to feel that you're not exactly top condition right now, and you know you have to sit down soon.

"Uh-huh. Is a lot easier to keep in line, at least."

"Hey! I'm right fucking here, you know? Don't talk shit about—"

Bucky doesn't get to finish his sentence before your seemingly healthier state turns critical in just a few seconds. The standing up for too long with a fever and no source of energy for two whole days finally takes it toll, and the clear focus you had on your boys turns into a big blur. A thud sounds through the room as your side crashes into Steve's drawer, balance lost completely before you could even notice you were dizzy in the first place. Within a second you're on the floor with a throbbing pain in the back of your head.

"Ow."

"Fuck," Bucky breathes out as he gets to his feet with Steve right on his heel, crossing the few feet's distance between you. "I know you just said we shouldn't coddle you...but—"

"It's fine. I'll give you a pass," you manage to get out while rubbing the back of your head, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

Strong hands pull you up to your feet, embracing your unsteady body so your head rests against Bucky's chiseled chest. Steve has his palm on your back, searching for any kind of contact.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he asks while Bucky leads you to the bed, forcing you to lie down.

"I don't think it was such a good idea to stand for that long," you say with a tired smile.

"Well, I tried to tell—" Bucky stops himself in the middle of the sentence, catching himself doing exactly what he promised he wouldn't. You grin at him, patting his thigh the best you can from your position.

"Good boy. Already learning."

The man blushes like a grown man has not done ever. You don't notice though, of course you don't, and his momentary weakness remains harmless. Steve doesn't point it out, because he's too engrossed by looking at the now sore spot at the back of your head. But you never notice, and Steve almost begins to think you're avoiding the signs on purpose. You should have noticed by now. Sam and Natasha certainly have—they can't give either of them a break when it comes to teasing about you.

"Fuck, this is the last thing I needed," you groan, putting your hands up to cover your face while leaning back into what now feels like Steve's thighs. When did he move you?

"Know it sucks, bad timing and all that, but maybe a sign to take it easier?" Bucky says, though he has to clear his throat first to rid it of the thickness he gained from your little comment earlier.

"What d'ya mean?" you mumble, eyes closed.

Maybe you were overreacting earlier. Now, with their hands in your hair and stroking your legs soothingly, you feel great. As if they really do care about you. But it's different now, you guess.

"Sweetheart, you've been stressing yourself to death this past month. You have this irrational fear, which is completely wrong, that you will fail all of your classes when you absolutely are not going to," Steve tells you.

"Maybe..." you mutter.

"Yeah, lay it down, will you? 'M only taking it easy on you with the scolding now 'cause you're sick, but it's actually worrying. Don't know why you think so low of yourself when it comes to school. You've done great the entire time."

"I can't help it," you whisper. "But I really don't want to study anymore. I'm tired."

Steve chuckles at you, shaking his head. "You don't have to. If you're good to do the test in two days—and I really mean if—you're already perfectly prepared. Been studying for a month. God knows I ain't ever studied that long for an exam."

"I know..."

"But even without me and Steve...helping, I, uh—are you gonna be fine 'till then?" Bucky asks, a new concerned frown in between his eyebrows appearing.

"You are allowed to help me, Buck. I never said that you couldn't," you tell him. Your eyes are closed, deep breaths being taken to rid yourself of the nausea. Despite this, you notice his restlessness over the thought.

"Yeah. I guess. Just don't want you...don't want you to be sick anymore," he mutters under his breath, as if though he wishes you could not really hear it.

This is the Bucky you usually see. The one who's a little shy and has trouble expressing his feelings, except if it's anger. Then he has all the willpower in the world to act on it. The guy who cares very deeply about his friends and becomes closed off when he can't help them.

"Not super excited about this either, Barnes," you whisper, arm thrown over your face to shield you from the rest of the world.

"We're on last name basis now, huh?" Steve says. You can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Uh-huh." You nod to your best ability. "You deserve that."

"She's just practicing her future last name, Stevie," Bucky speaks up, wearing a grin that falls just as quickly as it appeared. A dreaded, wide-eyed expression dawns upon his face as he stares at the two of you. The realization is painful.

"What? What did you just say?" You lift your head up from Steve's lap, staring at Bucky who's now beet red.

"Buck..."

"Oh, shit."

#Stark U #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #sam wilson x reader #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction #college steve rogers au #college au #college!bucky

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malereader-inserts · 2 years

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Fake It Till You Make It

Fandom: Avengers Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male!Reader Summary: You're like an old married couple, without the marriage or the couple. Word Count: 903

"I can't believe you've roped me into this."

You send Bucky a tight smile, not that you were happy with the arrangement either - it wasn't the best plan you had in mind and frankly, you wouldn't touch the ex hydra solider with a ten-foot pole. But, all the other ideas were completely useless or everyone would see through it.

So, here you were attending one of Stark's gala with Bucky on your arm, pretending to be boyfriends. Bucky and you weren't good friends, you wouldn't even describe your relationship with him as friends either - you were just two people who get on each other's nerves and somehow always gravitate back to each other.

"It wasn't my idea," You grumbled, inhaling sharply before letting out a heavy exhale, "It was your idea, James, so you can get Steve off your back about relationships."

"Natasha is going to be there, our break up-"

"Yeah, yeah," You waved him off, "It was messy, but, dude, come on... it's been a year now since that happened."

"We're still friends," Bucky shrugged his shoulder, as you moaned, standing next to him in the elevator.

"Then, we shouldn't be doing this," You glared at him, fixing your suit, "This plan to make her jealous, not going to work and Steve is just going to ask you about me."

"Which is why we did a whole ass run down yesterday," Bucky reminded you as you rolled your eyes, "We're almost there, put your pretty smile on."

"Shut up."

The elevator doors open, and you plastered a fake smile as you see the whole floor packed with people. You can quickly scan the room to see the Avengers scattered about.

"I don't get why we're doing this, James," You crossed your arm, all you wanted to do was relax on your break, and yet, there was Bucky sitting in front of you as you eat.

"Because the gala is tomorrow and I need to know more about you, you can just search me on the internet, they won't interrogate you about me."

You huffed as you take another bite into your food, Bucky gives you pleading eyes before your shoulders deflated and nodded for him to continue.

"Okay, first, how many siblings do you have and what are their names."

You proceed to answer all his questions as he was writing them down, you would take your time replying as you're gulping down the food. At times, Bucky could see a teasing glint in your eyes when he was getting annoyed with your slow chewing.

You finished your meal as you looked at your new fake boyfriend expecting him to continue his rambling.

"And lastly, stop calling me James."

"No."

"(Y/n) is very handsome!"

Bucky turned to look at Sam, who had a smirk plastered on his face, and then turn to look at Steve, who looked a little baffled.

"What?"

"Well, I didn't know you swung that way," Steve shrugs his shoulders as Bucky looked offended.

Sam shakes his head, patting Bucky on the shoulder before tipping his drink slightly in Bucky's direction, "He's a real catch, where did you find him?"

"Well," Bucky smiles to himself, "He hit me with his car."

Steve chokes on his drink as Sam started to howl with laughter, causing you to turn to look in their direction as Bucky gives you a sheepish smile. You looked almost confused and borderline disgusted before turning away to engage back in your conversation with Wanda.

"Well, I think you two make a real cute couple, you also act like a married couple."

"I feel like it," Bucky responded sully, though he noticed that Sam's smile was growing by the minute - resulting in Bucky rolling his eyes, "Oh, fuck off will you, it's still early days between me and him. I don't want to mess things up."

"Well, good for you, Bucks," Steve says honestly, giving his best pal a tight smile, Bucky can't read him like he usually does - doesn't know whether Steve was jealous or something else, "You two make a handsome couple."

"James!" You greeted upon your arrival, "Sorry to cut your conversation, but I really need to head home - early shift at the cafe, you know how it is."

"I'll take you back home."

Bucky placed a tender hand on the lower of your back, guiding you towards the elevator as the door shut, you dropped your smile and your shoulders deflate.

"Well, that went well, you made the wrong person jealous."

"So, you saw that as well!" Bucky exclaimed, thanking whatever Gods there is that he wasn't losing his mind, "I thought it was crazy that Steve got jealous."

You shrugged your shoulders, not caring much, "Glad I don't have to do this again."

"(Y/n)," Bucky sounded, as you turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow, "Well, have to pretend for a few more weeks, you know? Keep them believing, I know for the fact Natasha doesn't believe us."

"I don't blame her."

"Please?"

You looked at his pleading eyes before sighing in defeat.

"Alright, James, you're lucky this experience was...fun."

Bucky smiles at you as he gives you the biggest hug he could muster without hurting you, as you pulled away you give him a stern look.

"A month, okay? No more after that."

"A month, I promise."

Bucky didn't keep that promise in the end.

#bucky barnes x male reader #bucky barnes imagine #avengers x male reader #x male reader #avenger imagines #avengers imagine

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theconstantsidekick · 1 year

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Captain America: Civil War ft. Static (6) | s.r

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader (future)

Genre: Angsty city babyy!

Summary: Steve and Y/n try to hash out their different stances on the Accord, in a small car, with Sam and Bucky right there in the backseat. It goes as well as you would expect.

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Past Trauma, Mentions of Traumatic Political Events (Bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, The Chernobyl Disaster), Mentions of Gory Deaths, Mentions of Violence Against Animals.

a/n: this was gonna be a lighthearted chapter to act as an interlude from all the angst... that is not what it ended up becoming. If anyone wants to correct me on something, hit me up. If I have said something cruel or hurtful, let's talk it out. I assure you that was never my intension.

“You can ask,” she says calmly.

The sound of the old yet sturdy Volkswagen hums calmly in the background. It’s not harmonious or anything but it does provide a sense of comfort, he thinks.

And you best believe he does need a whole lotta comforting right about now.

“Ask what?” Steve asks, playing dumb and failing at it.

“Whatever it is that you want to,” she answers simply. She’s looking out the window of the passenger seat. Steve can’t see her face to be able to read it… Well, that’s not completely fair. Even if he could see her face, he’s almost certain he wouldn’t be able to read it.

Ever since Ultron, ever since she opened up about her past, he’s noticed her change. She’s different now… or maybe, he thinks, maybe she’s more herself than she has ever been before. This isn’t to say Steve was great at reading her before but she seemed easier to grasp, closer in a way. That’s not all, though. He always knew she was a competent fighter, but now he’s entranced by her every move. It’s a dance. He used to be awed by her skill before, the motions were quick and effective but now? Now watching her fight, he can see the fluidity and ease. No one on the team has that. No one Steve has ever fought has that. There is a sense of comfort in the way she handles herself in battle. The movements are precise and practiced, like she’s done it countless times before… she probably has.

All this sucks for Steve because ever since Tony suggested the accords be signed, every single conversation with her feels like a battle. And he’s not ashamed to admit it, the woman he loves is a better fighter than him.

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Just ask what you wanna ask, Steven,” she cuts him off swiftly.

See?

Better than he’s gonna get any time soon.

Sighing he asks, “Why are you here? With us I mean? I thought you didn’t agree with us.”

“Common man! Don’t drag us into this!” Sam protests from the back seat. “We’re very happy to have you here,” he adds politely while looking at Y/n. “The Frosty Fighter agrees, doesn’t he?” He looks over to Bucky next to him, urging him to agree. When there is no response, Sam elbows him in the chest.

“Ouch!” Bucky exclaims. “What?”

“We’re glad Y/n is with us, aren’t we?” Sam prompts.

In the rearview mirror, Steve can see Bucky sit up awkwardly, every move a sign of his discomfort over the situation.

But Sam’s insistence is inescapable, so softly he replies. “Yes.”

And somehow that makes Y/n chuckle.

Huh, he thinks.

“Fine,” Steve concedes. “Why are you here? With me?” He asks again.

“Because you can’t handle Sergeant Barnes alone,” she replies.

Uhh, what?

“I was able to contain him back at the headquarters.” Steve might not have had as many hours on the field as her but he’s not incapable of taking care of his friend!

She, to his surprise, chuckles again. “It wasn’t a comment on your capabilities, handsome… You just have a habit of letting your emotions take charge when it comes to the Frosty Fighter.”

“And you don’t?” Steve challenges abrasively.

She finally takes her eyes off the passing scenery outside the window to look at him with what he, with his poor reading skills, determines to be controlled rage. His challenge is met with a daunting stare.

“I do too,” she answers. “That’s why you’re here.” She looks away again.

Okay, maybe he needs to reassess his approach. He adjusts uncomfortably in the driver’s seat, bracing himself to come at the situation from a different angle; a more tactical one.

Before he can though—

“But you don’t think Tony’s right either?” Sam asks.

“Nope,” she replies.

Bucky beats Steve to the punch, asking, “Then who is?”

“Me.”

“We should all just give up?” Steve questions, incredulous. “Stand by and watch while people need our help? When we can do good?”

“No…I suggest you look away, Steven. Take a vacation maybe, somewhere warm—considering your history and all,” her replies are so painfully nonchalant, it puts Steve on edge.

“Damn it Y/n, I’m being serious!” He explodes.

“So am I.” Her seeming lack of interest in the conversation irks him unfathomably. “Didn’t you hear what Vision said?”

“You believe we’re the reason behind all this?” Steve’s beyond incredulous at this point.

“I believe in escalation,” she counters. “If there is someone out there who wants revenge, who wants to stop us—like this psycho fake doctor we’re currently dealing with—they can’t just use the usual methods.” She turns to him then, “You have to understand putting down any of us isn’t easy. If someone wants to stop you, it’s not gonna be as easy as a knife to your gut. You’re a superhuman, my guy. Tony is packing a fucking arsenal on his chest. And Wanda??? Do you even know the extent of what she can do with her powers?”

“No, but—”

She cuts him off, “Neither do I, but from what little I understand, she’s as close to unstoppable as it gets. Same for Vision. And that’s to say nothing of Hulk or Thor! I mean he’s a God, can he even DIE??” She sounds almost as if she’s about to explode.

But at some level, he does understand where she’s coming from. The Avengers are dangerous… but only to their enemies.

Exhaling loudly, he tries to gather his patience to respond with some sense of consideration. “So what? We just give up because someone out there is waiting to be instigated? Have you thought that maybe that is inevitable? If there are people like us, itching to become heroes, the inverse must be true as well. There have to be people out there ready to exploit the system through whatever means necessary. Correlation does not equal causation. Not always.” He looks at her then, “If we all take a collective vacation and stop helping people is there a guarantee that the violence dies down?”

“I am not saying we quit helping. I am not inclined to think in extremes like you or my brother,” she answers, her voice calm once again. “I just think we should pick and choose our battles.”

“That is all the more reason for us to oppose the Accords—”

She cuts him off again, “Yes, yes. That’s why I didn’t sign them!” Her head falls back, she closes her eyes and adds, “But when I say we pick and choose I mean threats that cannot be handled by humans… I mean that the Avengers should stop shoving their noses in political matters—human matters. If another giant hole opens up in the sky, I’ll come running, till then? Avengers are better off taking a vacation.” She looks out the window again. “Maybe Tahiti? I’ve heard it’s a magical place.”

“How is that fair? Why should people who are suffering because of their governments or insurgents, or terrorists be excluded? Why don’t they deserve our protection?” Steve challenges.

“You’re oversimplifying again,” she says calmly. “It’s not about them, it’s about us.”

“How?” Sam asks. Belatedly he realizes, for a minute there Steve completely forgot Sam and Bucky were in the car with them.

“The Avengers, as a team, predominantly comprises of American citizens… And even the ones who aren’t Americans are led by a man who wears star-spangled tights and goes by the name Captain America. Do you seriously not see the issue in that?” She looks back at him.

“You think our actions reflect on our country?” He questions.

“You don’t?” She throws back. “You seriously don’t see how us, flying around different nations, doing whatever we want without giving a shit about their laws and their needs isn’t going to seem like an act of showcasing dominance by a nation that is a global superpower?”

“I’m not blind to the implications, Y/n. I understand what it looks like at a cursory glance. But there’s a lot more to it. We are not just agents of our country; we surpassed that title a long time ago. We are so much more than that. Countless humanitarian missions, assisting during natural calamities, providing aid to refugees, all of that cannot simply be overlooked in favor of what it says on our passports. As a team, the Avengers are a symbol of hope,” Steve argues.

“You cannot be that naive, man. You wear the American flag like a costume, you don’t think the other countries might see your actions in their land as interference from a foreign nation? You think they care about the semantics? You think any common person would?”

“I’ll ditch the uniform.”

“Sure, Captain America”

“I’ll ditch the name too.”

“Are you acting dense to piss me off, or did the Frosty Fighter get a good hit in there somewhere?”

He rolls his eyes. “I want to help people. I don’t need a title or a suit to do it. I just want the freedom to help the ones in need.”

“That sounds sweet and all, but it’s as ignorant as it gets.”

“You’re confusing ambition with ignorance.”

“You think if you change your name, and pick a new outfit, it will stop? You think that’s all it’ll take? You’re a fucking weapon, Steve. We’re all weapons. That’s the cold hard cocksucking truth. People might see us as heroes but at the end of the day, they all know that is what the fuck we are. I am not saying that’s a bad thing… or a good thing either. I am just saying that when other nations see you, going around, breaking bones with a light punch, they will also want one of you, all for themselves. You’re Mattel’s best selling Barbie, Stevie boy; everyone wants one for themselves to dress up, play house with and command armies with. There will always be a dumb fucker out there trying to recreate whatever the fuck you are.”

“It’s not my fault you are the way you are, Y/n,” he bites back, just as fierce as her. “You’re an alien, you could’ve been set off sooner or later even if Hydra hadn’t gotten around to it.”

He can hear her jaw clench. “Yeah, maybe,” she says dismissively. It’s an act, a defense, he knows it. It’s gonna be followed by a punch in the gut, an offense. “But can you say the same thing about Frosty Fighter back there?”

The car screeches to a halt on the empty backroad they’d been sailing through. Steve can smell the burnt rubber on the road, but it’s hard to care about it right now.

Slamming the door upon exiting, Steve walks over to the sidewalk. Pacing a little, he waits for her to follow suit.

The moment she does, “You know Y/n, sometimes you say shit to be right, to win an argument without weighing the consequences of your words.” His words are fuming, just like him.

“Is that a threat?” She asks, almost jovially.

His steps halt with his back to her. “You’re crossing a line, Y/f/n.”

Despite all his claims of not being able to read her, in this moment, he knows exactly how she’s reacting despite not looking at her. While his eyes are set on the patch of sparse greens, he can almost feel her provocation leaving her body.

“You’re right,” she relents. “I’m sorry.” He knows she means it. “I went too far with the last two, I shouldn’t have,” she says calmly, so he turns to look at her. She kicks the ground, looking surprisingly similar to a kid caught with an orange tongue when explicitly told no more juice pops. “It’s frustrating. I never thought there would come a day where Tony would ask me to sign away my freedom.”

“I think,” he looks up at the sky, “I think he’s just trying to make amends somehow. It’s not the best way to go about it but he’s trying. I can’t blame him.”

“I can,” she counters. “He knows what it would mean for me. He’s still proposing it. I blame him completely.”

“And yet, you keep insisting you’re not on our—”

She promptly cuts him off, “Before you start your shitty little spiel about how that is why I should stand with you, I’d like to let you know, you are only doubling my said frustration. It is beyond me how you cannot see how much damage the Avengers have caused—are capable of causing still!”

Hands on his hip, her frustration mirrored on his face, he says, “Why did you even join the team if you think so?”

“Because of Tony.”

“That’s all? That’s all it ever was? You never, not even for a second, believed in us? In what we do?” He’s desperate right now.

She shrugs. “I know we are capable of good, Steve. I am not saying we aren’t. But you cannot overlook the impact. The Superhero game is a hair’s breadth away from privatization and if that happens, we are all doomed.”

Exhaling loudly, his head falls.

The sun’s too bright, he thinks.

“I don’t think heroes, real heroes can be bought off,” he counters. “If there even came a point where there could be heroes for hire, they wouldn’t be heroes, not really. They’d be—” he can’t think of a word.

“Soldiers?”

Somehow, the challenge in her eyes is brighter still.

Before either of them can say anything to that, Sam gets out of the car and comes to stand in front of them. “Did you guys forget we’re wanted fugitives? Or having this couple’s tiff in broad daylight is just like a death wish I wasn’t told about?”

Couple’s tiff?

“This is not a couple’s tiff.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “This is a discussion about Y/n’s fundamental lack of faith in us as heroes,” he accuses.

“No,” she counters. “First of all,” she looks at Sam, “This is a blind spot, Steve might be naive but he’s not an idiot. And second of all,” turning to him she adds, “this is not a discussion, this is an intervention for Steve, the jerkface who supports capitalism.”

“What?!” Steve’ completely lost by this point.

With carefree steps, Y/n walks over to a boulder and sets herself atop it. Slowly then, she begins to stretch. “Do you know about the Nuclear-Proliferation Treaty?”

Completely confounded by the change of topic, all Steve can do right now is respond, “Yes. Signed on 1st July 1968, the treaty was negotiated to prevent the spread of nuclear weapons and weapons technology, to promote cooperation in the peaceful uses of nuclear energy.”

She nods in acknowledgement. “Do you know why it was signed?”

“I just told you why.” It’s been a long, long day and it’s barely the afternoon. So yeah, Steve relaxes, leans back on the car. He lets his body fall loose. He isn’t entirely relaxed, not really. He’s just a little too tired to keep his guard up in front of his friends and his girlfriend, despite knowing for sure whatever comes next will be just as hurtful as any enemy attack .

“No, you told me what the treaty’s function was supposed to be… or tried to be. I’m asking you why it was signed. Do you know why?”

“I’m guessing you’ll tell me.”

And that, out of all the things, makes her chuckle, “Fear.” Their eyes meet. “When The Manhattan Project started, it scared the shit out of every nation that was aware of its existence. Then on 6 and 9 August 1945, when the 509th Composite Group of the United States Army Air Forces dropped those newly minted bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, respectively, everyone and their mothers collectively shat their pants. Which, I mean, can you really blame them?”

“What’s your point?” Sam chimes in.

She looks up at the sky. “The point, Samuel, is that any weapon that strong will instill so much fear in the hearts of men, that it will either result in an all-out relinquishment of the weapon or—”

“Everyone’s gonna want a weapon of their own,” Sam surmises.

Sam receives a wink and finger guns for his correct answer

Then she looks at Steve. “Those bombs were so fucking scary that the only defense these fucked in the head politicians could come up with was creating one of their own. Which obviously led to multiple countries testing and developing a nuclear arsenal of their personal collection. It got bad enough that they needed to come together and be like, ‘Yeah ok. We fucked up. These are way too many weapons and if they get in the wrong hands we’ll end up never needing a sequel for Planet of the Apes cause we’ll be living it.’” She sits up straighter. “We’re just like these weapons, Steve; that’s what I mean when I say we’re nuclear. We’re incomprehensibly powerful weapons and the accords are like a (not so) pre-emptive NPT.” Shaking her head she adds, “Now, I’m not trying to negate or diminish Japan’s war crimes from that period. I never will. It was a war. There were crimes. Not much logic to it than that. All’s I’m saying is that the justification for the use of such weapons, of us will always be shaky and terrifying.”

His jaw clenches.

He understands. He isn’t so naive that he cannot see where she’s going with all this but, if he doesn’t believe that people like Sam, Natasha, Tony—if people like them weren’t going to fight for they believed in, if they didn’t fight for people who can’t fight for themselves the world would be a much worse place for it. The Avengers are capable of a lot of bad but he knows they are capable of a lot more good. They haven’t been able to save everyone but they have always given their all, on every single mission. They have always been ready to lay down their lives for what they believed in, and that kind of faith cannot be bad. That kind of pure devotion cannot be evil.

He knows it.

“Just because you are not capable of seeing the potential we have to do good, doesn’t make us weapons. Just because you don’t believe in us, doesn’t mean we’ll forsake our promise to help people, Y/n.” He stands up straight. “We aren’t that easily swayed.”

She nods halfheartedly. “You know about Chernobyl?”

“Another history lesson?” Sam chides.

She smiles again. “Something like that.” She looks at him, “Do you?”

He nods. “Yea, I read up on it.”

“I was there,” she says easily, as if she’s talking about some concert she attended back in the day.

“You were at Chernobyl?” Bucky’s question comes as a surprise to both Sam and him who were otherwise too focused on Y/n. However, she seems to have been expecting it almost. Walking over, Bucky comes to stand right opposite her, an arm’s length away from him.

She shrugs just as easily and says, “Howard, Peggy and I thought it would be wise. Someone with…my ‘set of skills’ was ideal to assess the damage, understand the situation, and help if necessary. It wasn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission or anything, we were just worried. If it had been a mission, there would’ve been motives, and we didn’t want that to be the case for a situation that sensitive.” She pauses for a second. Despite the heavy subject matter, there is a hint of a smile on her face. She’s reminiscing, Steve realizes. It makes his stomach churn. “But yeah, I was there. I saw all of it. I saw the people that were affected, the children that were born, the first responders who were brought into the hospitals for radiation poisoning because the officials didn’t have the guts or common sense to admit to their fuck up.” Closing her eyes, she sighs. She is done reminiscing. “They were rotting away. Not slowly, not graciously; they were rotting away from the inside out in the most painful way imaginable. It was the most gruesome thing I had ever seen, and it wasn’t even an act of war. It was a mistake, an error, something that was overlooked due to lack of resources.”

The moment is too heavy for anyone except her to be able to break it.

“Did you read about the units sent out for clean ups, to minimize damage?” She asked.

“The units to clean up the spill—”

She shakes her head. “There were units sent out to the neighboring areas around Pripyat. These were soldiers who were ordered to exterminate any and all living accelerants.”

“Living accelerants?” Steve asks.

“Their job was to hunt down all the wildlife in the area. Whether it was farm animals, stray cats or pet dogs; they were all collected and… put down,” Bucky is the one who answers, surprising the group.

“Ten points to Frosty Fighter,” Y/n comments, still seeming a little astounded. “It was nowhere close to being the worst tragedy to come out of the incident, but it was the most unassuming one. They were in the blast radius and were suffering from radiation poisoning as well, but it’s not like they could do anything about it.” Sighing once again, she pauses for a second, before continuing, “The impact the Avengers tend to have is similarly severe, it too leads to completely unassuming tragedies.”

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Sam speaks up. “Chernobyl was built in secret, hidden away from the U.S. as well as their neighboring nations which is why their Government refused to ask for aid. If they had been open about it, countless lives could have been saved but they were too busy trying to save their own asses.” He crosses his arms and levels her with a look, “Whatever we do, we do it to save people. We do it to make things a little easier, more manageable. It’s not the same”

“No, it isn’t,” she admits. She seems… he doesn’t even have a word for it—worn down? That’s the closest Steve can get to describing her right now. “But the reactor blew up because of negligence… human error. The devastation was a result of hubris… we know a little something about that, don’t we?”

“We made one mistake,” Steve contends. “I am not trying to diminish it, but we slipped up once. And we rectified it immediately. Shouldn’t we at least be given a second chance?”

“Why?” She argues. “And honestly, that one mistake was more than enough. The repercussions of that one mistake will be felt for decades.” Exhaling audibly, she shakes her head. “Look, we live in a carefully crafted system. Human society as a whole is a result of ages and ages and ages of strife and discord and compromise. It’s a delicate structure, disrupting which doesn’t take a lot. The mistake we made… It sure was disruptive, seeing as multiple nations came together to impose the Accords onto us.”

He feels a distant desperation now, to prove to her that he’s right. “We cannot overlook the destruction we caused. We have to be held accountable for it, of course. But we have done a lot to protect this society as well; we fought off Loki and his aliens, we are still dismantling HYDRA but bringing their existence to the light wasn’t exactly a small task. We are capable of helping this system flourish,” he tries. “We just need another chance.”

“Despite our extraordinary powers, at our core, we are just human…ish. We are more than capable of repeating our same mistakes,” she says easily, calmly, almost as if she knows there is very little point to this debate. Why is she fighting me then?

“But we are also capable of learning from them,” he states with full faith. “This can be an opportunity for us to step back, reassess, and get better.”

And that somehow seems to be the last straw.

“Listen to me, okay?” She’s instantly on her feet. Her tone has changed all of a sudden, to something more urgent, more earnest. “The system that we currently have isn’t the best… There are flaws in it, fundamental ones, but it works. It works well enough that we’re not inciting a nuclear war. It’s functional, not perfect but functional; and people had to fight for it to become what it is today. It took countless revolutions, inventions, wars, civil disobedience movements and about a million protests to get where we are right now… And people did that. They did it all by their lonesome, without any help from us. What I’m trying to say, what none of you seem to want to listen is that people will always, always keep fighting for what they believe in. They will succeed in making things better.” She’s vibrating with sheer confidence. “Utopia might not be achieved by next week, but people will keep at it till the day they do… Isn’t that enough?”

Now what you have to understand about Steve is that even though he is technically a hundred years old, he hasn’t lived for a hundred years. Everyone knows that but not a lot of people understand it. He hasn’t lived through every decade leading to this one. He was stuck on ice. When he went in, the world functioned a lot differently than when he came out. And that is where he and Y/n are complete opposites.

While she is, for all intents and purposes, younger than him, she has lived a lot longer than him. It makes him feel a sense of disconnect to her… maybe he always will.

“It feels fairly insincere for us to have the power to help them speed up the process but choose instead to sit back and watch, don’t you think?”

“No! No, I don’t think so.”

Steve’s at the end of his rope. “Come on, Y/n! Do you have so little faith in us that you cannot even imagine that we might be able to make the world a better place? Do you believe in us at all?”

She chuckles then. It’s followed by a pause. Her hands are on her hips while she looks down at the ground. “You know about a week after the reactor blew up at Chernobyl, they realized that the nuclear material was melting through the concrete and was about to make contact with a pool of water underneath. The water was supposed to act as coolant but in this case would cause a fucking radiation-contaminated steam explosion upon contact. So what’s the plan, right? How to stop it? They needed people to dive into 20 million liters of poison water and turn a couple valves to drain it.” She looks at the three men then. “And before I could even think of breaking my cover to volunteer, three men—three normal, everyday men stepped up.” She’s smiling. She looks… proud? “Funny thing is, these were men who knew exactly what could happen to them. Of the danger this mission posed to them. Going in there was like inviting Death over for dinner and they did it without a single ounce of hesitance. They weren’t superhuman or of alien origin, trust me. I checked. They were just… people. Normal people who knew what needed to be done and decided to do it.” She clicks her tongue. “It’s not that I don’t believe in us, Steve. I do. I just believe a lot more in them.”

The words hang in the air. They stay there with nothing but the sound of the cars whizzing past them on the road.

Their silence is only broken when Steve's phone chimes.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he looks down at it. “It’s Sharon. She gave us a location, it’s 15 minutes from here.”

“We should head out,” Sam suggests.

“Yeah. Yeah, we should do that,” Y/n agrees, already getting back in the car. But before she can—

“You know, Steve’s just like them, right?” Bucky speaks up from where he stands behind her.

“What?” She asks, a little lost.

He meets her eye to eye. It’s the first time he’s had the courage to do so. “The scrawny little kid from Brooklyn—he’s just like the people you say you believe in so much.”

She nods. “He was… And most of his fundamentals still are… But power changes you. It changes where you stand. He has a good amount of it now,” she looks over at Steve, “unlike the kid from Brooklyn.” Her eyes fly back over to Bucky before she adds, “I believe in him more than he believes in himself, I just don’t think he understands the fact that his stance has to change with him.” Pointing back at Sam, “Now that one’s a whole different story. If he were the one opposing me, I would’ve lost by now.” With that she gets in the car.

Read the next part here. Find the series masterlist here. Find other Static Verse works here.

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ay0nha · 2 years

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Pain in My Heart | Bucky Barnes

Warnings: angst, fluff, Bucky back in therapy, mentions of blood, dancing to Otis Redding, Bucky being touch starved, domestic fluff etc.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x femme!reader (POC friendly)

Word Count: 2.2K

A/N: Idk what this is or where it came from and idk who is going to read this but it is what it is. All I have to say is Bucky deserves the world and a warm hug. Enjoy.

There was a moment of brevity, but it didn't last long enough for him to feel too much of a difference; he had turned quiet again.

"So, who is she?"

Bucky's eyes snapped up to Dr. Raynor, "What?"

"I've asked you two questions and this one finally brought you back," Dr. Raynor couldn't help but hide her smile as she hit the nail on the head. Although his nightmares still persisted, she finally uncovered what he saw as the light at the end of a very dark tunnel, "Who's the girl on your mind?"

He adjusted in the suddenly cramped feeling sofa chair before lying straight through his teeth, "There is no girl."

As the topic shifted, the spacious room felt like it was suddenly collapsing in on him. He kept his breathing even, but his doctor's scrutinizing gaze could see through whatever facade he felt he needed to put up.

"Then who is she to you?"

"No one."

His answer was quick and defensive like his doctor had exposed a secret he wanted to keep for himself. He wished to keep her buried away, far from his world even though he interrupted hers.

"'No one'...right," Bucky's doctor mocked him. Sometimes he appreciated how she could see through him easily, able to push his buttons just enough to get past his exterior. However, the topic was making him squirm.

She eyed him as she pressed further, "And no one is what caused you to come back to D.C.?"

Bucky gave her a sarcastic smile as if to confirm what she was saying. He wanted to talk about it, but his instinct was to deflect, "What's rule number two again, Doc?"

"You mean the one you always conveniently forget?" The doctor tapped her notepad out of habit; a warning to Bucky to not waste her time, "What'd you do?"

His eyes were trained ahead contemplating how to respond. The news had covered what had happened. There was truth to some of the reports as was there lies within others. Regardless people got hurt and the fighting never stopped even when the battle was over. It was the nature of it all.

"Bucky, what happened?"

Dr. Raynor would take anything he offered her. Especially if it was enough to cause him to clear his throat like telling the tears that prick his waterline to stop, "She's afraid of me."

"Sarah, you've got to stop taking in strays."

Her eyes were dead set on Bucky the minute he stepped foot into the house. Seeing her now, Bucky connected the dots of who was the third child from the array of photos on the boat was. She had to be the youngest of the three. Looking at her now he could tell she was the wild card and her siblings reactions confirmed it.

Sam was the first to respond, exasperation throughout his tone, "And when did you get back?"

"Good to see you too, Sammy," She frowned in response to his question. Their relationship was always the rockiest and she reminded him as she continued, "...At least pretend like you're happy to see me."

Once Sarah placed her keys and bags down from the day, she enveloped her sister in a much-needed hug. The two sisters were jovial in their embrace, clearly representing a reunion long coming.

Family was something far and distant for Bucky, something he hadn't witnessed in decades. He felt even more like a stranger in the home, his presence feeling awkward as the siblings started to bicker amongst themselves.

"What are you doing here?" Sam cut to the chase. Bucky had seen him annoyed, usually, the frustration directed towards him, but this was new.

"Little birdie told me you're selling the boat."

"You shouldn't be here." Sam all but grunted, not buying a word she was saying while glaring at his other sister for involving her.

"Come on, Sammy," She smiled lightly, but it was really to cover any tension she held, "When are you going to forgive me for-

"Did you hurt her?" Dr. Raynor's voice brought him back from the memory that felt like ages ago. She was confident that Bucky's violence was tamed with Bucky in complete control thanks to the Wakandan women. However, she would never dismiss what he was capable of.

Bucky had been in Louisiana for a handful of weeks, saying he'd stay just long enough for the dust to settle. But the more time he'd spent with her, the longer it seemed to take for the dust to settle. Their interactions were far and few. They could be chalked up to glances and good mornings, but they were the highlight of Bucky's days.

"No- God, no," Bucky shook his head while sitting up straight, "I would never-No. I didn't-

"Then what happened?" The doctor attempted to stop his rambling, a habit she'd never seen him form.

"I-I didn't mean to."

Bucky was soft spoken, but rarely shy. She seemed to pull that feeling from him, one he didn't know he was still capable of. It's what rendered him quiet while he watched from the couch, his make-shift bed, as she dug through an old box just beneath the TV.

"I heard you like to dance."

She was becoming more forward with him. It felt like for days she was circling him like a shark, trying to understand the best way to interact with him. Then once she learned he wasn't the type to spook off easily, she waited for the perfect time to strike.

"Really from who?" Bucky accepted the conversation more eagerly than he wished he had. Sam's words echoed in the back of his mind, reminding him how he wished Bucky wouldn't flirt with his sisters.

"A little birdie told me."

"There seems to be a lot of those these days."

He wasn't sure if he could consider it flirting, but the conversation rolled off his tongue smoothly. It felt natural to have a back and forth with her and she recognized it as well.

"Come on, the parents aren't home," She jested further, trying to get him to join the make-shift fun, "It's time to let loose."

Bucky shook his head gently in protest to which she respected. She knew who sat in front of her, got the gist of what he had done and could do. The last she wanted to do was upset the peace he had seemed to find in her Louisiana family home.

It was the first time the two were left to their own devices. There was a mention of a school orientation, one that would last a couple of hours. Like kids themselves, they were told by the older siblings to be on their best behavior.

"My parents should have-" Her voice was lost as she continued to rummage. One record had ended and she was onto the next.

She sat comfortably on her knees with records she pulled out splayed in front of her in a contemplative arch. She was looking for the perfect choice, something soft to match the night and have the possibility to lure the man to join her.

Bucky's arm was settled across the back of the couch while the other rested on his thigh nervously. He ran it up and down debating on getting up to join in the search of the right album. But he stayed put, watching her.

He thought she was beautiful.

"Otis Redding?" She looked back at him, causing him to blink hard and adjust the way he sat in front of her. He had been caught. She had felt his eyes on her and she reveled in the fact.

"I think I missed him," Bucky attempted to cover the way his tone dropped. He was preoccupied during the sixties, preoccupied with things she had let him forget for just a moment, "Put him on..."

She smiled brightly, happy to pull the vinyl out of its sleeve, careful to keep her fingertips on the edge. Once it was placed on the turntable, she checked that the wires were all connected before stepping back to hear the crackle of the first spin.

The music was soft at first, needing to be turned up a few dials to fill the space of the living room. Though once it had, her smile only widen at Otis Redding's Pain in My Heart.

The trumpets were first to cause her head to roll back to the beat. She stalked towards Bucky on beat, causing the smile he was trying to supress harder to hide. She spun slightly, miming along to the romantic words that were being sung. Her dance was dramatic to match with her facial expressions which were too comically on display.

Once she had made it to him, she knocked his knee with her leg lightly, "C'mon."

Her fingertips were warm as Bucky grasped them softly. Any hesitation had left his body as she led them both to the middle of the living room, closer to the music to be closer together. He hadn't felt touch like that in a very long time. She was delicate in the way she pulled him into her chest to lead their soft swaying.

Bucky was appreciative that she led as he wasn't sure if he would float away or not. His skin pricked. It was like her touch tickled him, but he leaned into it fully. He was used to touch hurting or leading to something that hurt. His body, despite it's abilities, was sore and worn. It needed the brevity she was currently providing.

"For a moment there things felt..." Bucky was afraid to finish his sentence like he would jinx what he was about to say, "...normal."

Dr. Raynor knew he would lead her back to what she needed to know, but first things needed to be off his chest. It was her turn to stay quiet.

"I never wanted kids," Bucky added, shaking his head slightly at the thought, "Not even in the forties...They're just not for me...But coming home to a full house like theirs...I just-There's just something about coming home to someone who wants to see you..."

"Was that her?"

"I-" He'd cut himself off, looking out the window as if the right response would be found there, before turning back to be candid, "I thought so...until-

"Until you hurt her." The doctor noted how he struggled to talk about it. Through all their time together she'd enver seen him hold such emotion, at least in this capacity. Sure, he struggled to talk about everything, but this was a new way he'd hurt someone, far more severe than breaking bones.

"I usually go to sleep once everyone else has," Bucky explained the routine he'd set for himself, "Sam is always the first to fall asleep. Then it's Sarah once the boys have...but her...She'll stay in her room."

Usually, he'd wait until he stopped hearing her feet shuffle in her room before closing his eyes. While he waited for her to settle, he'd glance around the house double and triple checking everything is locked and all the windows are closed. He knew Sam had done it before he'd gone to bed, but it helped give him peace of mind before he'd stretch back on the couch just big enough to fit him.

"She never comes out of her room," He shook his head, bringing a hand to his stubble, "...But then she did."

The grip wasn't tight enough to bruise her, but it was enough to show her first hand what would happen if she wasn't who she was. Her eyes blew wide and her breath inhaled sharply. She froze in her place as her hand was quick to grasp his wrist with utter desperation, dropping the glass in her hand.

The shattered glass was what brought him back.

Bucky's chest rose and fell trying to use the air he sucked in as solice. He could feel how the sweat coated his forehead from the nightmare he had just experienced. He couldn't remember the year he just witnessed, but it was one of the bloodiest mission he'd been on. No one but him survived.

It was the only mission that he was lucky to leave with his life with. He had thought he'd finally met the one challenge he couldn't beat. Now the memory would not only burn the blood curdling screams in his mind but also with the fearful eyes of her.

When she had come down the stairs, she could already hear how he rustled. Since her brother worked with veterans she wasn't unfamiliar in the way they were haunted, but she knew Bucky was haunted like no other.

Her intentions were to head to the kitchen for water, to walk past him and walk back to her room. However, on her journey back she noted how his breath was tight. She struggled to leave him be. In hindsight, she knew better than try to bring him back, but the distraught on his face pulled at her heart.

His grip softened, his hand coming back to him, and guilt taking over his entire being.

"I'm sorry," She squeaked out, recoiling from him instantly, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-

"She apologized to me like it was her fault," Bucky's voice was steady as if he was giving his doctor a mission report. Yet again his voice wavered, "I thought I was doing better."

"You are." Dr. Raynor cut in, needing him to understand her veracity, "But you shouldn't expect yourself to have resolution overnight. Things like this take time."

"The glass chewed up her leg, there was blood all over the carpet and I just.." Bucky said grimacing at how easily that rolled off his tongue, "Left."

#q #pain in my heart #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x poc!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #tfatws #after tfatws #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #Spotify #marvel

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avengerscompound · 6 months

Text

The Tower - Loki

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2612

Warnings: smut (MF, vaginal sex)

Synopsis: Elly reminisces about Loki’s first introductions to each of the groups children, then the god of mischief gives her some needed alone time with Thor.

Author’s Note: Requested by RoyaWitch on Wattpad and JamieBarnes on AO3. You can send in your requests too.

Takes place after Happily Ever After but references the past a lot.

Loki

It was a quiet day on Asgard. The weather was mild, warm without being too hot, and had clear skies. Thor was taking one of his unusual days off the throne, and Sam and Steve were taking his place. Thor and I had taken Thour and Nova to the courtyard to play with the Vulparev. They were toddling around, using their familiars to steady themselves as they explored the garden, and Thor and I sat on a rug watching them, me leaning up against Thor as he played with my hair. We had a little picnic set up, with snacks and drinks for us and the kids, plus some treats for the Vulparev.

We hadn’t been outside very long when both the children squealed loudly and ran to the other side of the atrium. Thor and I sat up to see what was happening just in time to see the twins slam into Loki’s legs.

“Yes, hello. It is good to see you too,” he said, crouching down and holding his arms out. The twins both clambered up on him like he was a tree and he stood, holding them both on his hips.

“Brother!” Thor boomed. “It is good to see you on this fine day. Where are you headed?”

Loki carried the babies over to us, the vulparev flanking him on either side. When he saw us laying on the grass he shook his head and gave a small roll of his eyes. “Oh good, my favorite people,” he snarked.

“I hear the sarcasm, Loki, and I wonder who you’re trying to convince,” I teased.

He smirked and took a seat, plopping the two toddlers into his lap. “I’m not really going anywhere, brother,” he said. “I was just walking. Are you slacking today?”

Thor chuckled, refusing to take the bait. “Steven and Samuel are on the throne today. They are more than capable of running the kingdom.”

Loki tsked and rolled his eyes, but as he did Nova started to climb up onto him again and cuddled against his side. Loki’s eyes softened and he gazed down at the little boy. “Well, aren’t you a sweet little thing?”

I smiled as I gazed at them. Loki had always been so good with the children. Back when Riley and Pietro had been born, I’d been a little nervous about Loki meeting them. I liked Loki back then, though I didn’t know them very well. I knew Thor adored his sibling but I also knew that Loki had long-held resentments due to Odin’s treatment of them. It had manifested into a fight for the throne that kept repeating itself, Thor being the chosen child to rule despite not wanting to, and Loki believing that Thor was a bad choice. I’d worried that with Riley’s birth, that resentment would come to a head again because now Loki wouldn’t even be the next in line to rule after Thor.

When Loki had come to meet the twins it was the first time I’d ever seen her presenting as a woman. She was so beautiful dressed in a green and gold gown and when Thor placed Pietro into her arms, all concerns that she’d ever be a risk to those children melted away immediately. She looked so maternal with him in her arms. Almost as if motherhood was part of her divinity.

“Hello, child,” she cooed. “I’m your aunt. You’re not always going to have an easy life. Your sister is heir to a throne and she’s likely to be very powerful. But don’t worry. I’ll always be here for you. I know what it’s like to have a sibling that is difficult to stand in the shadow of. Perhaps I can teach you magic someday. Would you like that?”

She flicked her fingers over Pietro’s head and green light danced on her fingertips. Pietro cooed and reached for them, completely mesmerized by the light.

While Pietro was her favorite, she’d loved Riley just as strongly, and even though the twins didn’t get to see Loki constantly, it was enough that they soon learned that their aunt was often their uncle, and they were always excited when they visited. Often when Thor returned home to us, after the twins had gotten their cuddles from their father, the first thing they asked was ‘Where’s Loki?”

Loki met Rebecca, Sarah, Rose, and Eddie at the same time. This time he came and stayed with us at the tower for a few months. He was so excited to meet the new clan, though Pietro was still the favored one. We’d been a little worried about Loki staying for so long. He did get bored easily and not everyone had fully forgiven Thor’s brother for his past transgressions. Clint’s grudge in particular ran very deep. I understood that - Loki had made Clint kill friends. People who he knew. People who had family.

We had once again been proven wrong. Not that Loki didn’t get bored and cause trouble. He did. A god of mischief has to mischief. His pranks were all on the harmless side and mostly he was a blessing to have around. He helped change diapers. He would take Riley and Pietro to and from school. The thing is, Loki is also the god of stories, and each night during that visit he would weave these amazing tales for Riley and Pietro that would even keep many of us adults enthralled.

I think by the time Billy was born, Loki was starting to think we were maybe breeding a little much. He didn’t come down to visit right away, and in fact, he didn’t meet Billy until we brought the kids to Asgard when he was six months old.

Loki had met us on the Rainbow Bridge and after being set upon by Riley and Pietro, he came over to Wanda who was trying to soothe Billy after the trip through the Bifrost.

“Where is the new addition to the family?” he asked.

“He’s here,” Wanda said, showing Loki the little crying bundle in her arms. Loki looked down at Riley and rolled his eyes. “Your parents like making new Midgardians, don’t they?”

She giggled and nodded. “I got so many brothers and sisters,” she said.

“I thought having one brother was too many,” Loki said, making her break down into hysterical laughter.

He moved in closer to Billy and caressed a finger down his cheek. “Oh, I know. It’s a big scary universe and you’re just learning how big and scary it can be.”

He raised an eyebrow and looked up at Wanda. “He’s full of magic. Do you feel that?”

She smiled and nodded. “I can. I might need your help teaching him.”

The corner of Loki’s lips twitched up for a moment and he tickled Billy’s tummy. “Well, little one, it sounds like we will be working together. That will be fun won’t it?”

Loki was there when Tommy was born. We had so many kids by that point that even with the nannies, we wanted to have a backup on delivery day. She came down while Natasha was sleeping and was the first person who was not a part of the polycule. She sat for so long just gazing down into Tommy’s eyes, and when Tommy’s tiny little hand closed around her finger, for a split second I was sure I saw her eyes prick with tears.

When we decided to have Mar, I think Loki thought we were all done. He came to see us when Mar was just a few weeks old. Looking back on it now, I wonder if Loki could sense something in them even back then. Loki never referred to Mar as a girl or used the pronouns she or her. It was always child and they/them. Maybe there was something deep in Loki’s magic and identity that like recognized like. Or maybe that’s just how Loki addressed all the children and I just didn’t notice with the others. Either way, he was smitten once again, and once again, he had a nibbling that adored him.

Thor poured Loki a glass of wine and offered it to him. “It is a rare day when we are both off.”

“It has been a while,” Loki agreed, waving away the glass. I could see why. His hands were full and there was no way he’d put down one of the children before they were ready. “But do not think I plan to spend the day reminiscing with you about the good old days.”

“I would never dare,” Thor joked.

“God, how is it that all our children just adore you?” I asked as I watched the twins both start to settle and lay in against their uncle, looking like they were about to fall asleep.

“They do have good taste,” he said.

“So people that like you have good taste?” I asked.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Nice try, Elise,” he teased. “But I said that people that adore me have good taste. Do you adore me, Elise? Are you completely infatuated with me?”

I started giggling. “Maybe?”

“Oh, do you hear that brother? Your dear wife is completely smitten. How hard it will be for me not to steal her away from you,” he teased.

Thor laughed loudly. “That will be a shame. But - at least she will be staying within the family.”

I lost it completely, leaning into Thor as I hid my face. “Oh no, she seeks comfort in my brother for I have scorned her. A tale worthy of the ages,” Loki teased, making me laugh even louder, my sides hurting.

“Do not worry, brother. As soon as I bed her, I’ll have her forgetting all about you,” Thor joked.

Loki grimaced and shook his head. “I did not need to hear that,” Loki said. “Be away with you both.”

“Hey! We were here first!” I argued.

“Yes, but I am currently covered in small sleeping children and you are not,” he said. “So you’ll need to leave.”

We didn’t move, obviously assuming it was part of the joke but Loki waved us away. “I mean it. I have these two. I’ll bring them back when they wake. Go and bed your wife.”

Thor titled his head. “Are you sure? We don’t mind keeping you company.”

He shook his head. “You know how I feel about company. Go. I’ll bring them back to you when they wake.”

I leaned over and kissed both Nova and Thour on the forehead. “Thank you, Loki.”

“You can owe me a favor,” he teased.

“Oh gods,” I laughed as I stood with Thor, making Loki laugh as well.

I collected up Sanguine as Thor picked up Mjolnir and the two of us headed back into the palace.

“It feels a little strange to bed you at the whim of my brother,” Thor said as we strolled back to our living quarters.

“Is that going to stop you from doing it?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Oh norns, no,” he said. “We should take advantage of the moment while we have it.”

I laughed and leaned up and kissed him, and he took the opportunity to scoop me up into his arms. I squealed and laughed as he carried me straight to our bedroom, climbing the stairs to our oversized bed and laying me down on the mattress. Thor started to slowly undress as he looked down at me, pulling on different drawstrings and unclasping buckles. I simply pulled on one tie and my gown fell open, the fabric spilling out around me.

He licked his lips as he threw his tunic aside, exposing his muscular chest. I met his eyes and slowly ran my palm down my body and between my legs, fingering my clit as I looked up at him. “Mmm that’s it, my life,” he purred. “Just like that. Show me how you pleasure yourself.”

I moaned and my head dropped back as I focused on the warm tingle that was slowly spreading through me from my cunt. “Look at me, my queen.”

I opened my eyes. He stood above me, watching me through darkened eyes. He opened his pants and pushed them down. His cock sprung up, thick and hard, pressing straight up against his belly. He wrapped his hand around his shaft and slowly started pumping it. A bead of precome formed on the head and I licked my lips, picturing how it must taste.

He sank to his knees and crawled up over me. I spread my legs, welcoming him between them, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down into a kiss.

He slid the head of his cock up and down my slit. It pulsed against my clit sending shivers through time, and I arched my back, trying to angle my hips so he’d push into me.

Thor was in no hurry. If the tip of his cock caught at my entrance he would pull back and slide past it, teasing my clit once more. I whined needing, squirming under him.

He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine. “My poor needy lover. Am I taking too long?”

“Yes,” I whined. “I want you inside me.”

He changed the angle of his hips and with one smooth stroke, he entered me. I moaned as my cunt stretched to take him, and I lifted my knees so he could go as deep as possible.

He didn’t give me time to adjust but he also didn’t rush things. Each roll of his hips was slow and measured, so his cock dragged down the ridges of my cunt, and the base rubbed against my clit. I kept trying to angle my hips so he would hit my g-spot, but he was just too big, it brushed past it, which sent shivers through me and was punctuated with a sting as he hit my cervix.

I wrapped myself around him and raked my nails down his back. I couldn’t get enough of him. I wanted him to touch all of me. For our bodies to meld together. I pulled him into another kiss. It was deep and slow, matching the pace of Thor’s hips. We were making love, even with the sting with each thrust, it was love-making at its best.

Pleasure spread through me like an electric current, making my skin prickle and my hair stand on end. It felt like the current was passing between us, merging us into one.

I rolled my hips to meet his, arching my back, and moaning into his lips. My orgasm built, coiling through me like a snake, starting at my toes and winding right up to the top of my head. It tightened all at once and I seized up under him as my orgasm came crashing through me.

Thor continued to thrust, fucking me through my orgasm, and when his hit, he shoved in deep and pulled back, roaring as he released inside me.

He rolled, pulling me on top of him so he could stay inside me longer. “How long do you think we have?” I asked.

He smiled up at me and ran his fingers through my hair. “I think he will give us just exactly as much time as we need. And then he’ll come in and make it seem as if he hated every second of it and that we owe him.”

I chuckled. “I mean, we kind of do.”

Thor laughed with me and rested his forehead against mine. “Don’t let him know we know,” he whispered and we both collapsed, laughing together.

~ END ~

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awkwardauthorwrites · 1 year

Text

TLC

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Previously on awkward-author. Little angst, lots of fluff

To say that your day had been one massive shitstorm would be an understatement. Nothing had gone right from the moment you got up. You had had a particularly bad nightmare the night before, leaving you sleepless hours after it had slunk back into the corners of your mind. Because of this, you had slept through your alarm and missed your mandatory training session with Steve, who looked like he was in a particularly foul mood himself for one reason or another because he decided to chastise you like a toddler in front of a large group of agents.

The lack of sleep and the public embarrassment clouded your mind, meaning you didn’t pay as much attention as you should have in your makeup training session, which resulted in a painful blow to your chest that was still throbbing hours later. You had hoped that would be the end of it, but by the time you got to the kitchen the coffee was finished and the jar was empty. The breakfast you had tried to make for yourself was completely inedible unless you wanted a severe case of food poisoning, and Sam had finished the last bits of your favourite cereal.

To top to all off, your least favourite sibling had called you. Normally, you could stand the bullshit that they came out with, but everything just struck a nerve with you today. You were used to being single, you enjoyed it, but your sibling had just gone on and on about how you needed to find someone or you’d be alone forever, and maybe you could stand to drop a couple of pounds and stop eating so much to attract someone’s attention. There was only so much you could take before you snapped at them to fuck off, which resulted in some particularly horrible texts from them.

Today was not going well at all, which is what resulted in your decision to skip out on the rest of your duties and go back to bed. No doubt Steve would have something to say about this, but a quick command to FRIDAY to keep everyone out of your room would hopefully fix that.

“(Y/N)?” Wanda’s soft voice drifted towards you as you made your way down the corridor slowly. “Are you okay?” she held onto your elbow gently and pulled you to a stop.

“I think you know the answer to that already,” you grumbled, shaking her off. “I’m going back to bed. If Steve comes yelling, tell him I’ll incinerate him if he even thinks about disturbing me.” She had to have sensed how utterly defeated you were, because she didn’t push you, and instead, gave you a small smile and let you get on your way. You had only just managed to pull on your favourite oversized shirt – which you had definitely not stolen from laundry – when a hesitant knock came from your door.

“Miss (Y/L/N), Mr Barnes is here to see you. I informed him that you wanted to be left undisturbed, but he is insisting,” FRIDAY said softly.

“Doll, come on, let me in,” he said from the other side of the door. “I know you can hear me.”

“Leave me alone, Barnes.”

“(Y/N) –”

“Seriously, Buck. I don’t need to see you to burn you to ashes. Leave me alone. I’m in pain, hungry, tired and pissed off.” He fell silent on the other side of the door, making you assume he had walked away. With a sigh, you pulled your duvet over your head and buried your face in the pillow. Realising you had been such a bitch to Bucky when all he wanted to do was help made you feel worst, and soon, the stress from the rest of the day finally caught up to you. You cried silently, your pillow slowly becoming soaked as you tried to get a grip on yourself. Another knock on the door made you freeze, and you sniffed and tried to stay as quiet as possible in hopes that you would be left alone.

“Doll, I know you’re awake in there,” Bucky’s voice sounded quiet and muffled through the door. “Let me in, please? Wanda told me how bad your day is going. Let me help.” You heard him sigh a few minutes later when you didn’t reply, and heard him shuffle around. “I’m just gonna sit right here until you let me in, then. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why won’t you just go?” you croaked out, pulling your head away from the pillow.

“Because I want to help you. Can you let me do that?”

“Why? Why bother?” you moved over to the door slowly, your blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you want to help me? I’m –”

“(Y/N), if you try to degrade yourself by saying you’re worthless or helpless or useless, I will break down this door.”

“But I feel like it,” you said quietly, your head resting against the door in defeat as a new wave of tears cascaded down your face.

“You’re far from any of those things, (Y/N).” You could hear him stand up quickly, and his voice suddenly sounded clearer, as if he had his head pressed against your door as well.

“Don’t lie to me and tell me what you think will make me feel better,” you scoffed. “Not today. I don’t think I can handle it today.”

“You mean everything to all of us. So don’t you dare tell me you’re worthless. Natasha tore into Steve when she found out how he belittled you this morning, and he felt so bad afterwards. Bruce went and had a bit of a chat with the agent that hurt you during training, and even though we all know it was an accident the man still looks shook up. Clint was beyond concerned for you during target practice, but you just zoned him and Sam out and didn’t hear a word of what they were saying as you went through the motions. Wanda just came to me looking devastated because she said you were hurting and she didn’t know how to help. Tony is restocking a whole damn cupboard with your favourite kind of coffee so you never run out again. We all love you here. So don’t tell me you’re worthless.”

“But –”

“As for useless and helpless?” he paused to laugh sarcastically. “Doll, you’re terrifying. It’s probably not want you want to hear at the moment, but when you’re in the zone on a mission, nothing gets in your way. You kick ass and get out of it all without a scratch. I’ve seen you take down five guys twice your size all at once and you didn’t even bat an eye. You’re far from helpless.” He took a deep breath and his voice lowered considerably. “You’re not useless either. You make me better – you make us all better. You literally picked us up and brought us back together, doll. After everything with the Accords, after Tony found out what the soldier did to his parents…I didn’t think any of us would speak again. Of course, Natasha and Clint didn’t let it get in between them, but the rest of us? We didn’t speak for weeks. I killed Tony’s mom and dad. He never wanted to see me again. But you dragged me back out of cryo. You got us all together in one room. You fixed us all up again.”

“You and Sam still hate each other.”

“Baby steps, doll, baby steps.” You couldn’t see it, but he visibly relaxed when he heard you chuckle quietly. “You’ve been there for me through so much recently. Let me be there for you. Please.” He felt defeated when you didn’t reply to him for a few minutes, and moved away from the door to sit back on the floor, determined to wait for you. He was just about to start counting the tiles on the ceiling when your door opened quietly. You looked and felt so vulnerable at that moment. Your face was a mess with dried and wet tears and your eyes were rimmed red and puffy from all of your crying. “Oh, (Y/N).”

He stood back up quickly and wrapped you in my arms tightly. Settling you back down in bed, he left you for two seconds to bring a tray into the room before he asked Friday to lock the door once more. It broke his heart to see you feel so downtrodden and weak, but he simply held onto you and let you get all of your pent up emotions out with the occasional kiss on the head. He didn’t let go once you had literally cried yourself to sleep, and made sure to keep one arm around you at all times. You woke up a little while later, mouth dry and head pounding as you blinked at the soft light coming from our bedside table.

“Buck?” your voice was hoarse and you tilted your head up to see he was reading a book while running his hands through your hair.

“Hey there, doll. How you feeling?” he put the book down and gave you an apprehensive smile.

“Tired,” you yawned to prove you point. “My head hurts.”

“Here, I’ve got just the thing for that.” He sat you up carefully and handed you a bottle of water with a couple of painkillers. Gratefully, you took the pills and down the water before handing him back the empty bottle. “Are you hungry? I got you some pizza earlier, it’s probably cold by now but I know you prefer cold pizza.” You couldn’t help but smile as he pushed the plate towards you and picked the book back up. He started to read to you, his voice soothing as you took small bites of the food he had grabbed you. Eventually, your stomach was full, your headache was subsiding and you were curled up in his arms, just listening to him read out loud from your worn out copy of The Hobbit.

“Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah?” he looked down at you, a small smile playing on his face.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, doll. Anytime.”

#winter soldier angst #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #marvel fanfiction #clint barton #wanda maximoff #awkwardauthormasterlist #awkwardauthorwrites #awkwardauthor

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sublimecatgalaxy · 1 year

Text

♥️ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ♥️

This is strictly my Bucky Barnes Masterlist.

Before requesting, take a look at my Masterpost to gain more insight into my DNI and requesting guideline lists. Take a look at my Prompt List for some ideas regarding request too!

Three Nights:

Summary/Request: "During a mission, Bucky and reader are forced to share a room that Sam not so subtly arranged for them."

Old Man:

Summary/Request: "Bucky Barnes x reader comforting him after a nightmare"

Sweetheart:

Summary/Request: "Bucky Barnes x reader where he’s away on a mission and she’s needy ifykyk"

Extremely Necessary:

Summary/Request: "Can you do a bucky x reader? With the 'I really don't like you.' - 'And I really don't believe you.' prompt? … Maybe some Enemies to Lovers?"

Won't Break:

Summary/Request: "Prompt: “Promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up.”"

Wait for Me:

Summary/Request: "Scenario: Enemies to lovers"

Listen to Tony:

Summary/Request: "hi baby <3 I’d love to see bucky taking care of reader whether it be emotional or physical, you can do whatever gives you the most comfort <3"

Drama Queen:

Summary/Request: "hi baby <3 just feeling really down today + I’d love to see some comfort with bucky or another character of your choice. Please do not rush to do this or feel obligated to do it at all, just figured I’d ask. Love you so much."

Mean:

Summary/Request: "“You’re being mean” and “did I stutter” in an angst/fluff mix with my personal fav bucky barnes 💗 Ily!"

Puppy Dog Eyes:

Summary/Request: "I was wondering if I could please write a Bucky Barnes one-shot, that’s fluffy and these things from your prompt list"

Alone Together:

Summary/Request: "With Bucky Barnes 🥺 maybe they're trapped in a small space together during a mission that Bucky adamantly didn't want to pair up with the reader for because of a big ol' crush he has on them? 💚"

Almost A Century:

Summary/Request: ""You're being mean.";"Why are you such a tease?"

Sergeant:

Summary/Request: "“You’re being mean” with bucky <3 angst/spice mix!! Ily :)

Blushing:

Summary/Request: "“Are you blushing” with bucky ❤️‍🔥"

Catch Up:

Summary/Request: "Hey! Could I please request a Bucky Barnes request with the trope mutual pining and prompt 13: "All I could think about was you.""

Retired:

Summary/Request: "Bucky Barnes x assassin!reader? But current Bucky who's sort of retired and not killing people anymore but he's a target of hers and she's sort of flirty with him and after a conversation with him, she realizes that he doesn't deserve what her employer claims he deserves (cuz he's a changed man, duh)."

How Cute:

Summary/Request: "So I don't know a lot of other creators on here who actually write 'x sibling!reader' but I think you've done it a few times so I was wondering if you'd write a Bucky Barnes x wilson!reader?"

Your Time:

Summary/Request: "Hey can I request Bucky + prompts 2 and 21? 💞💞"

#bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel fic

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crazyunsexycool · 2 years

Text

Is it a crime?

Chapter 4

Pairing: Mob boss Bucky Barnes x Mob boss Reader

word count: 5.9k

Warning: gun shots, blood, physical assault, reader is a bad bitch and very overprotective, Bucky!!!!!!!, Dot, mentions of domestic abuse, cheating, death threats, implied smut if I forgot to add something please let me know.

A/N: It's hereeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope you enjoy this chapter as we get to see a glimpse of reader's relationship with Winnie and Becca Barnes!

Series Masterlist

Ch. 3

“So what is happening with you and Bucky?” Sarah asks as she hugs you, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Nice to see you too Sarah.” you ignore her question, instead you focus on the warehouse in front of you.

“You know we are going to talk about it. I don’t care that you’re some big scary mob boss now, we’re having a girls night.”

You laugh as the door opens and Sam steps out.

“Hey trouble come on in.” He calls out.

Sarah throws her arm around your shoulder as you head in while Roque and Aisha inspect the area and Peter stays by the car. The warehouse looks like any other warehouse if you don’t know what you’re looking for. It looks smaller on the inside due to the hidden rooms. Some of them are even soundproofed. Sam shows you around and tells you everything you need to know. After a few minutes you finish working out a deal with Sam.

“So what was going on with you and Bucky yesterday?”

“You’ll have to be specific Sam.”

“Oh you know the whole sitting on the desk makeout session you had going on.” he grins as you roll your eyes.

“I knew it!”

“I’m going to kick Steve’s ass.” you mutter. “Nothing happened I swear. If anything Steve interrupted.”

The siblings had a knowing look in their eyes as you spoke. You had become friends with the pair a few months after you and Bucky started dating so they had seen your relationship grow. When you were forced out of New York you begged them to keep Bucky safe and they did as much as they could.

“You know he still doesn’t know.” Sam says with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“And he’s never going to Sammy you promised, remember?”

“I remember.” He said as you started heading toward the door. “It’s just that for a long time he was so heart broken and he wasn’t the Bucky we knew. We haven’t seen that Bucky until you came back and even then it’s just little moments. If he would have known-”

“He would have come looking for me.” you cut him off. “We know what would have happened if Bucky had come after me.”

“What about now? What are you going to do about him being engaged, he’s still in love with you and you’re still in love with him.” Sarah asks.

“My priority is Pierce. I can't focus on anything else right now. He’ll just use it against me and I can’t have that.”

“Well you better get rid of Pierce soon because that wedding is in a few months and by then it might be too late.”

“If anyone deserves happiness it’s you and Bucky, you’ve already gone through too much. But whatever it is you decide we’ve got your back.” Sam says.

“Thank you, I owe you so much.”

“It’s what family is for.” Sarah says as she wraps you in a hug, followed by Sam.

“Oh what was the emergency yesterday at Barnes’ house?”

Sam and Sarah look at each other, concerned before they look at you.

“Y/N, Winnie and Becca are missing.”

18 years old

Prom was a few short weeks away and you weren’t sure if you would even go. By now you and Bucky had been together almost three years but you had also started to get involved in your father’s business dealings and so was Bucky. With all the work you had outside of school neither of you talked about it but then Steve, Sam and Sarah all insisted you go. So here you were alone at a dress shop trying to find a dress. You kept playing with the pendant of your necklace, a habit you had since you got it and something you did when you missed your mom, while the shop attendants showed you what felt like a dozen dresses. None of them were what you wanted and you were about ready to give up and tell Bucky you weren’t going.

“Y/N is that you?” you turn upon hearing your name to see Mrs. Barnes and Becca walk towards you and they each give you a hug. “What are you doing here sweetheart?”

“Hi Winnie, I was looking for a dress for prom but I can’t find anything I like.”

“Oh, have you tried any other stores yet?”

You nod. “I think I might tell Bucky I’m not going.”

“Oh nonsense, we’ll help you out right Becs?”

“Yeah, I’m here to get a dress too, we can do it together.”

You smile at the youngest Barnes, who was practically Bucky’s twin, same dark hair and bright blue eyes. Except hers still held the innocence you both had lost by being involved in the mob. Both you and Bucky had promised to keep her away from all of that for as long as you could.

“What do you need a dress for Becs?” You ask as an attendant comes to talk with Winnie.

“My friend is throwing a masquerade ball for her birthday. I already know what I want. How about you?”

“I have no idea. I just want to feel pretty like a…”

“Princess?” Winnie says as she returns to the conversation.

You look at the floor but nod.

“Oh sweetheart there is nothing to be embarrassed about wanting to look pretty for your prom. I know we’ll find something for you here. Now go into the dressing rooms, both of you, I’ve already asked for some dresses to be pulled.” She said as she made herself comfortable on the couch and waited for you and Becca to come out with the first dress. That was how the morning was spent until you found the dress. The Barnes women invited you to lunch and the three of you made plans to go to the hairdresser and get your makeup done on the day of prom.

“Thank you for everything Winnie, I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.” you said before hugging her, the action causing her to hiss. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you.” you pulled back to look at the pained expression on her face.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t hurt me.”

You looked down to see that your arms were just about her waist and resting over her ribcage. “How did you get hurt?”

“It’s nothing you have to worry about sweetheart.” Winnie looked between you and Becca who was on the phone with a friend.

“Was it him? Was it Mr. Barnes?”

She looked away, but you saw the sadness in her eyes. She grabbed your hands and squeezed.

“This is something you don’t have to worry about ok?”

“If Bucky knew he would-”

“His father would hurt him worse, we both know that. Let me handle this ok? He promised he would stop.”

“Just remember I’m more than willing to at least chop off his hands if he touches you again.” you said with a scowl, Winnie, along with Rosie, were the only mother figures in your life and you were willing to go to hell and back to protect them.

She laughs as she holds your face softly in her hands, her thumbs caressing your cheeks. “You are so much like your mother.” She places a kiss on your forehead. “Never forget how strong you are.”

When prom night came you felt beautiful. Winnie had spent the day with you getting ready. With her there you didn’t feel the absence of your own mother as much. When Bucky came to pick you up she made sure to take pictures and fawn over both of you, and all though Bucky was slightly embarrassed by her antics you were still grateful.

The phone went unanswered again as you tried to find out any more information on Winnie and Becca. You already had Jake trying to track their phones or find anything on them but there was nothing. Although everyone thought they had been kidnapped you thought that maybe, just maybe, they had finally got the courage to leave George Barnes. If that were the case you would offer them the help they needed. But at the moment Jake couldn’t find anything and Bucky and Steve weren’t answering their phones. If it wasn’t because you had another appointment and Clay was waiting you would have shown up at the Barnes’ residence to get answers.

Clay opened the passenger’s side door so that you could get out. It was still early in the afternoon when you arrived at the closed down club. Your first possible business, although it seemed like a small step it was an important one. It’s where your business would be worked out of and it was just on the edge of Hydra territory. This was a message to Pierce that you were coming for him.

One of the double doors opens revealing a tall and muscular man. He had on black sunglasses on as well as an all black outfit. Silently he motioned for you to come in. Clay entered first with Roque following close behind.

“Well, will you look at this?” a voice with an Italian accent cuts through the silence of the club, Tommy. He was still as short as you remember him, lost some more hair and he now had a scar running up his neck toward his left cheek. There were a few more wrinkles and he smelled like an ashtray and aqua velva. Somehow the tracksuit he wore was wrinkled and the gold chain he wore was tangled in the small patch of chest hair peeking out from under the barely zipped up jacket. “Little Y/L/N is really back in the big apple and here to start some trouble.” he laughs.

“Tommy, I’ve seen you’ve gotten more disgusting with age.”

He chuckles as he points at you, a cigarette between his fingers. “I like to think of it as my charm, but enough about me, look at you. Just as beautiful as your mother may she rest in peace. Come on, I'll show you around.”

You raise your eyebrows in Clay and Roque’s direction as they try to hide their amusement. The entrance of the club is simple, a coat room with a counter to the left, a small table and chair to the right. Through a short hallway you make it further into the building and the space opens to the main area. The decor is outdated and you’ll definitely have to complete some renovations but overall the layout is pleasing. The dance floor is right at the center of the room and the DJ booth is at the opposite end of where you’re standing. To the right is a bar that runs all along the wall. On either side of the entrance to the room there are some booths, the tables scratched and seats needing to be replaced. On the left hand side are a few high tables where people can either stand or sit on stools. On either side of the DJ booth are two sets of stairs leading up to the second floor.

“That right there is the VIP area.” Tommy points out to the second floor.

“What’s that room?” you point to the area right above the DJ booth, it’s completely closed off with floor to ceiling glass, although you can’t see into it from here you’re sure you would be able to see down to the main floor if you were in there.

“That is a private room. You can use it for private parties but mostly I use it for myself and my business. Come I’ll show you how to get up there.”

You walk a few steps down to the dance floor and cross it. Following Tommy towards the left staircase. There is a space between the stairs and the wall which leads back to the bathrooms and you’re sure the other side mirrors this one. Once you’re up the stairs you see the path that leads to the VIP area on the second floor but Tommy heads to a section of the wall with a card reader and swipes a keycard. A door opens and he pushes it open before allowing you to walk in first. Just as you had suspected there is a full view of the club from this area. There are a few couches and armchairs arranged toward the glass and a bar that sits against the wall.

“What do you think little Y/L/N?”

“I’m impressed.”

“This isn’t even the best part, come look I even have a surprise for you.”

He walks behind the bar and opens the door to reveal another hallway. This one side has brighter lighting and looks dull, the business side of the club. There are a few doors on either side big enough to be offices. You continue to walk behind Tommy as Clay and Roque stay close behind. There is another set of stairs that lead to a darker area and that has both men with their hands on their weapons ready to draw when they see two of Tommy’s men.

“Now this is my pride and joy, for when the real business gets too… loud. This is a soundproof room.”

“Is this the surprise Tommy? No wonder your wifes left you.” you mutter.

He laughs again. “No little Y/L/N, this is your surprise.”

He opens the door and your stomach drops. Sitting in the middle of the room are Winnie and Becca, their arms and feet bound so that they can’t try to escape and tape over their mouths. You see the wave of relief wash over Winnie but Becca is still completely terrified and fighting against the ropes. While Winnie had a cut to her cheek, you could see that Becca’s shirt had been ripped and the thought of someone having tried to touch her makes your blood boil. There is some bruising both old and new as well as a split lip. You clench and unclench your fist as you look over your shoulder at Roque. Quietly letting him know things could go sideways quickly.

Tommy, oblivious to why you’re so angry, claps his hand once as he makes his way into the room. He circles the women and stops behind Becca.

“What do you think? Great surprise yeah?” He grabs Becca’s chin and forces her to look up at you. His mouth on the shell of her ear. “I think we would be great business partners and as my first gift to you, I will let you do whatever you want to the Barnes’ women. You know as payback for turning their backs on you.”

“You really shouldn’t have done this Tommy.”

“What can I say? I am a thoughtful man. And if you don’t want this one I already have a buyer lined up. I’m sure that sweet pussy of hers could make a lot of money.” he laughs as Becca tries to pull away from his touch.

“That won’t be necessary. I have a plan for both of them.”

“Good, good. Just as ruthless as big Y/L/N. I like it.”

“So is this place really soundproof?”

“Of course, how about we stay in here and your own men can stand outside to test it.”

“Great idea, Tommy.” you turn around, Roque and Clay already standing in the hallway. Silent communication between you and them as you close the door.

“This is like a welcome home gift for you.” Tommy says as he moves around the women again, keeping his eyes on Becca. You definitely don’t like the way he’s looking at her. “Who should we make scream first? I’ll let you pick first since it’s your gift.”

“Like I said Tommy, you really shouldn’t have done this.” you pull your gun from the holster you keep hidden under your jacket and shoot him in both knees. He screams a slew of curses in Italian. You’re blinded by rage as you walk over and grab him by the front of his shirt connecting your fist with his face several times before he’s unconscious. Just as quickly you turn again to both women and you take out the small knife you keep on you and cut them free of their bindings.

“I am so glad to see you sweetheart.” Winnie says as she hugs you.

“I want you to know that I had nothing to do with this. I would never hurt either of you.”

“We know. Could you take us home? Bucky has to be so worried.” she says with teary eyes.

Becca clings to you when you move to hug her. Her silent sobs make you want to kill Tommy on the spot but you know you can’t do that, you have to question him first and get him to sign the papers for the club and then you’ll offer him up to Bucky.

You open the door to see Clay and Roque leaning against the wall and both of Tommy’s men lying at their feet.

“At least we know it’s soundproof.” Clay says as he looks into the room, seeing the blood pooling around Tommy’s legs.

“We’re going to the Barnes residence. Get him to sign the club over and then tie him up and leave him in here.” you nod toward the room. “And get rid of them. I’ll send Peter in, Roque, I want you with me.”

You lead both women back outside and to the waiting car, you go to the back as they get in and grab the small first aid kit Mantis had insisted you keep in all of the cars. You tell Peter to go help Clay as Roque offers Becca his jacket before taking the wheel with Aisha in the front passenger’s seat. In the back seat you start to tend to the cut on Winnie’s cheek and making sure there were no other injuries. She had been calming Becca down when you took her hand to check the marks left behind by the restraints. You pull up her sleeves and notice the faded bruises on her arms, realizing what you’ve seen Winnie pulls her arm away and she won’t meet your gaze but Becca does.

“He still hurts her.” she says on a shaky breath.

“Does he hurt you?” She nods.

“Y/N, it’s nothing to worry about, I can handle it. He said…”

“That he would stop? Not the first time I’ve heard that Winnie. And now he’s hurting Becca, which means that Bucky still has no idea because I know he wouldn’t let this happen.”

“Yeah well this isn’t your problem.” She snaps, you sit up straighter, studying her face as she tries to look away.

“Ma, it’s not her fault dad is a piece of shit.”

“I know I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that.”

“It’s ok Winnie, I just want to know you’re safe.”

There were extra men on the grounds of the Barnes’ residence as you finally pulled in. Roque parked the car near the front entrance and you exited the vehicle with Winnie and Becca leading the way. It had been ten years since you’ve been in this house, when the last part of your life fell apart and crumbled. Not much had changed, just some of the decor but most of the home was untouched, everything was in its perfect place. Bucky’s voice could be heard shouting out orders that no one would rest until his mother and sister were brought back.

“James.” Winnie calls out as she gets closer to the living room.

The whole room went quiet as they heard her. Bucky turned in time to see both women walk in. He rushed to embrace his mother and sister before checking them for any injuries just like you had.

“We’re fine, really.”

You had been looking around the room, noticing the absence of George Barnes. Of course he wouldn’t be there. It was obvious he didn’t care for his wife and daughter. You did notice that Nat and Yelena were there with some of their own people trying to help Bucky.

“Where did you find them?” Bucky had turned to look at you.

“I think it would be better if we talked in private.” You say before movement on the doorway caught your attention.

George Barnes stood at the door, scowl etched on his face as he looked at the women of his family with disgust. His eyes moved around the room until they landed on you. You could see how he shifted from surprise to anger. He opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him before he could.

“George a word, in private.” You didn’t wait for him to respond, instead you walked past him. Aisha discreetly handed you some brass knuckles and you headed toward his study. He could be heard yelling both at his men and his family something along the lines of getting out of his sight. When George finally walked back into his office and closed the door behind it he found you leaning against his desk. Your expression is unreadable as you sized him up. It was obvious he was older but seeing him in person let you know that he hasn't aged well. He walked with a slight limp and his overall movements were slower. When you were younger George was pure strength but he had let himself go and his stern gaze provoked fear but it did nothing now. Maybe you just weren’t scared anymore and saw him for who he truly was. A coward.

“What do you want?” he spat.

“I’m here to make it clear to you that if you put your hands on Winnie or Becca again I will kill you.”

He laughed as he walked closer to you. “You think I’m scared of some pathetic little bitch wanna be? You don’t scare me and if you threaten me again I’ll show what I can really do.”

You smirked, “The only reason you are still breathing is because Bucky doesn’t know about it and I’m pretty sure you want to keep it that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you get away with it anymore. I’ll be keeping an eye on you. If I know that they are hurt in any way I will end you.”

The older man caged you in, his hand on either side of you on the desk. He towered over you but it was a tactic to try and intimidate you. One that you had seen multiple times but you weren’t scared by it. Quite the opposite you had expected it because as soon as he was close enough for you to smell the alcohol on his breath you punched him right in his ribcage. He doubled over as he lost his breath for a moment before trying to reach for the gun he kept holstered under his suit, before he could you punched him again. The brass knuckles Aisha had given you helping to deliver another powerful blow. You only stopped when you heard the unmistakable noise of bone breaking, George now was on his knees panting and groaning due to the pain.

“You little fucking cunt, I’m going to kill you!”

You grab him by his hair and yank his head back so that he’s looking at you.

“I would like to see you try. Take this as your only warning Georgie, if you ever hurt them again I will do far worse.”

“Please, you’re a little girl in a world made for men, you won’t last and when I get my hands on you, you’ll wish I turned you into Pierce back then.”

“I’m not the girl that fled New York 10 years ago. I’m not scared of Pierce and I’m not scared of you. I’ve done things far worse than what your little brain could ever comprehend. So I’ll tell you one last time, if Winnie or Becca are ever hurt because of you or an order you gave I will have you begging for death, understood?”

He glared up at you without saying a word. You took a deep breath before sucker punching him in the stomach and pulling on his hair again so that he had no choice but to look at you again.

“I asked you a question.”

“Yes,” he said through gritted teeth.

You let go of his hair and fixed it, tugged on the lapels of the jacket and smoothed out some wrinkles before patting his cheek harshly twice. “Good. I’m glad we could come to an understanding.”

A smirk appears on your lips as you walk out and head back towards the living room. Aisha is still in the hallway, she smiles when you hand her the brass knuckles back.

“Where were your bodyguards Ma? You know that you shouldn’t go anywhere without them?” You heard Bucky questioning as you got closer to the sitting area.

“She doesn’t have them anymore.” Dot supplied. You rolled your eyes when you heard her voice.

“And why wouldn’t she have her bodyguards that I assigned to her and Becca?”

“Well they were moved to be my security by your father. I’m going to be your wife soon and you don’t even care if someone took me.” she finished as you entered the room. Dot sees you and glares. “What is she doing here?”

“None of your business. Can we talk Buck?” you nod toward the entrance of the house and he moves to get up from his spot next to his mother. Dot puts her arm around his shoulder and holds him down.

“I’m sure that whatever you have to say you can say it in front of me. I mean I am his fiancee. Right honey?”

“Actually it’s business so your presence isn’t needed or wanted.”

Bucky shrugs off her arm and gets up before helping Winnie to stand. He tells her to go get cleaned up and that he’ll make sure to get her new guards. Winnie walks towards you giving you one final hug.

“Thank you.” she whispers.

“I’ll always look out for both of you.”

She gives you a small smile as she fights back the tears before disappearing up the stairs. You look over at Bucky who was watching the interaction with a smile of his own. He heads towards the entrance and you look at Dot one more time winking at her while she glares at you with her arms crossed over her chest.

“What the fuck is going on Y/N?” he asks once you step outside. “First the warehouse and now my ma and my sister?”

“I’m handling the warehouse situation, I have two of my best guys tracking that idiot down. As for Winnie and Becs I can explain.”

A car door slams shut and Steve walks over to you both. His eyes bounce from Bucky to you and back.

“You found them?” He asked when he finally stopped in front of you.

“Something like that. You remember Tommy right?” you ask them both.

“Dreykov’s associate?”

You nod.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“He took them as a welcome home gift for me. Thought that I would use them to get revenge on you for turning your back on me back then. Someone must have told him that I went to your house first.”

You could see Bucky clenched his jaw at what you just told him and Steve’s eyes darken. The need to exact revenge was mutual.

“What did you do with him?” Bucky asked.

“Thought you might want to deal with him yourself so I’m holding him.”

“Where is he?”

“My new club. Why don’t you follow us.”

Both men nod their heads before climbing into Steve’s car. Just as you got into the back seat and told Roque to head back to the club you received a text.

Cougar: Found him.

You: Good follow him for tonight and let me know if he meets up with anyone. I want him in the warehouse tomorrow morning.

Cougar: You got it boss.

Clay stood at the door to the club with a manila folder in his hands. Roque pulled up to the front to drop you off while Steve parked his car close by.

“Did he sign?” You asked as you walked up to him.

“Had to persuade him a little bit but yeah he did.” He hands you the folder and a pen, “this is the contract Walters wrote up for you.”

You hummed in response as you looked it over before holding it against the wall and signing it. By the time you were handing it back Steve and Bucky had approached you both. Bucky’s jaw was clenched as he waited to get inside and deal with Tommy.

“You must be the infamous Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Clay stuck out his hand, shaking Steve’s first and moving toward Bucky who reluctantly greeted him. “I’m Clay, nice to finally meet you.”

“Wish I could say the same.” Bucky mutters which earns a smirk from Clay. He opens the door to let you in before following in and closing the door.

“So you bought Tommy’s old place, very close to hydra territory isn’t it?” Steve asks as you make it to the main room.

“I was going to buy it but then he did what he did and so I just took it. As for it being close to hydra territory, it was done on purpose Stevie.”

“You’re gonna get yourself into some trouble.”

“No, I’m going to cause it.” You smile at him as you walk up the stairs. “I’ll make sure you get an invite to the grand opening, just make sure you save me a dance.”

“Absolutely, I’ll even save you two.”

“Just like prom.”

Clay hands you the card so that you could swipe it and the door would open. Quietly you lead the men down the hall and toward the soundproof room Tommy was being held in, being met first with Peter in the hallway dancing along to whatever song he was listening to on his phone. He jumps when he turns and sees the four of you standing there and quickly takes off his headphones.

“Hey boss. Didn’t see you there.”

“Obviously. We’ve talked about this before.”

“Yeah I know. No dancing on the job.”

You hum and nod towards the door and he hurries to open it. Tommy was strapped to a chair in the middle of the room, there was a table that wasn’t there before with a few tools for you to use on him if needed. Though with the anger Bucky was feeling you doubted any of it was necessary. You heard Clay tell you to let him know if you needed anything before he took Peter to look at the club and start making a plan for repairs. That left you with Steve and Bucky staring down at the unconscious man before you. It was obvious that blood loss played a part but you were sure Clay had gotten a few hits.

Bucky wastes no time as he walks over and puts pressure on one of Tommy’s knees. The pain starts to make him stir until he’s screaming and trying to move his leg away.

“Wha-what the fuck?” He looks around, finding you standing in front of him. “You stupid bitch, I’m going to kill you.” A fists connects to his jaw.

“How are you gonna do that Tommy, you’re not gonna have any hands.”

The injured man looks to the side to find Bucky and Steve looking down on him. He panics and tries to move away only for the chair to tip over. Steve pulls him back up before delivering a hit of his own.

“Who told you to take the Barnes women?” You asked as you leaned against the closed door.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Punch to the face.

“Who told you?”

“I’m not saying anything you stupid cunt.”

Punch to the ribs.

“I hope you’re comfortable Tommy, it’s going to be a long night for you.”

George Barnes sat in his study looking down at his already bruised skin. Seething at the thought of you. He was so lost in thought he didn’t hear the door open until a gasp filled the silence.

“What happened to you?”

“Dot you know the rules. You can’t be in my study while-“

“Your wife and daughter are upstairs and Bucky left with that bitch.” She says as locks the door and she walks further into the room.

“He what?”

“Who did this to you?”

She ignored his question as she reached out and lightly grazed one of the bruises. He hissed, any type of contact hurt.

“Y/N. I should have her killed.”

“You really should, maybe as a wedding gift for me.”

“I can do that, It won’t be easy though.” He says as he catches Dot’s wrist as she moves away from him. “Enough about her for now. Why don’t you make me feel better baby.”

She smiles as she kneels down between his spread legs and reaches for his belt.

Hours had passed before Tommy cracked and told you what you wanted to know.

“So Rumlow apparently has a bigger role in Pierce’s organization than I thought.” You said as you wiped your hands clean. “Shit, I loved these shoes.” You added when you noticed the blood on your favorite pair of boots.

“I’ll get you new ones.” Bucky says as he cleans his own hands, focusing on his left hand. He looks up to find you looking at it before your eyes find his. “I-Um I did a lot of stupid shit when you were gone.”

You nod in acknowledgment, of course you knew everything that had happened. Jake had set alerts so that if Bucky, Steve, Sam or Sarah’s names were ever mentioned in certain databases you would know. The night you received the one about him being in the hospital your world stopped.

“Y/N?” Bucky called your name with slight concern.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I asked if you’re ok after what happened in there.”

“Yeah I am. It’s what we do right?” You get up and walk towards Bucky. Standing between his legs, you look into his eyes finding the same adoration he used to look at you with when you were teenagers. Bringing your hand up to his cheek, the stubble of his beard pricks your hand as you study his face. Somehow he’s still your Bucky but at the same time so different. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders as he walks the delicate line between still being the son of a mob boss and taking over. Neither of you have talked about the engagement yet but you’ve heard through the grapevine that George Barnes won’t step down and give him full control until he marries Dot. For now he does all the work and barely sees the benefits.

You sit on his lap and Bucky’s arms wrap around you while you rest your head on his shoulder. He places a kiss on your forehead as his left hand squeezes your thigh. For a few minutes you enjoy the silence and the closeness. It was reminiscent of how you spent a lot of your time when you were younger after starting to get involved more with the mob side of things. It was comforting not needing to explain how you were feeling to someone because Bucky understood it.

“I want in. We’ll bring Pierce down together.”

Ch. 5

@pono-pura-vida

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luna-lunera-morada · 1 year

Text

Holding History

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Mexican!Female!reader

Summary: Prank wars between the reader and Bucky are all fun and games until one prank goes too far.

Warnings: Angst, reader and Bucky being assholes, mentions of family death, language, fluff

Word count: 3.1k

a/n: A good chunk of Spanish is used but the words in bold are the translation :)

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Growing up with a bunch of siblings and cousins made you used to the constant bickering, playing, fighting, and especially the pranks. You were a master at it even though Bucky would say that the mantle belongs to him. Ever since you joined the Avengers not far back the connection between you and the ex Winter Soldier was rocky, rigid, and how Wanda likes to call it, childlike. These pranks have been going on for about a month now and everyone in the compound was done with it. Whenever either one of you had a chance to do something you would strike. It didn’t matter the occasion or the time of day. Parker has been the only one keeping track of points and so far you were winning and there was no way you were gonna let that change. The last prank was on Bucky and it was the best one you’ve pulled yet.

His beard had started to grow longer than he liked so it was about time that he would want to shave. This gave you the perfect idea.

Bucky was really private about his personal space, especially his room. It was his safe space, the main thing he had that made him feel in control of himself. You waited till he left on a mission with Steve and Sam to make your move. Making you glad that you wouldn’t have them berating and scolding you about ending this war. But they would be back the next day leaving you with a small window to get the job done.

3 am.

Everyone was sound asleep and the hallways clear. You touched your back pocket to make sure you had everything you needed. A bent nail, superglue, dental floss, and a bobby pin. The first three items were for the prank. You walked up to Bucky’s bedroom door and turned the handle. Locked. This is where the bobby pin comes in handy. You quietly pick the lock, making sure no one saw, you go in.

You’ve never been in his room but this is certainly not what you were expecting. You had thought that a shaken mind would lead to a shaken living space but it was the opposite. His room looked like a modern hotel room. It was so clean not one thing was out of place. Yet again he didn’t have that many things decorating this space. Except for a lamp and one framed picture on his nightstand. You turned on the lamp and picked up the frame. It was a picture of everyone at Bucky’s welcome back party. The day he returned from Wakanda everyone was waiting for him with open arms especially Steve and Sam. This was the first day you met him and it didn’t really go well. You accidentally spilled your drink on his metal arm causing it to malfunction. The first thing you did was laugh, you didn’t mean it in a bad way it was just a habit of yours. When something went wrong you would laugh first and then comfort. He didn’t take it likely though. That’s where the war began. Since you were relatively new to the team you stood on the edge for the picture next to Wanda. But you weren't there. It looked like he tore you out of it. Damn you didn’t know he hated you that much.

You put down the picture, turned off the lamp, and made your way into the bathroom. After a couple of minutes searching you had finally found his bottle of shaving cream. You take the cap off and plunge the nail into the nozzle and covered the tip in superglue. After it dried you tied the floss from the nozzle to the cap. That way when he goes to open the bottle he’ll activate a shaving cream grenade.

You could just imagine the outcome, the scene plays in your mind causing you to giggle. You put the bottle back where you found it and look in the mirror. There’s a piece of paper stuck to it, you step closer to get a better look in the dark room.

Is that you?

The torn picture is taped to his bathroom mirror. Before you could muster up another thought the sound of muffled conversations and keys jingling behind the door pulls you into a panic. Hide, hide, you need to hide. Bucky would fume if he found you in his room. You can't go out the way you came in without getting caught so you pull the shower curtain to the side and jump in.

This wasn’t good. He just got back from a mission, what if he wanted to take a shower first? Oh you should’ve thought this through. You hear the door open.

“All I need is water on my face and sleep. I’ll see you guys in training, goodnight.”

The sound of heavy tactical gear and footsteps grow closer to the bathroom. The light turns on letting you see a faint outline of his body. He starts to strip from his tactical gear and- oh. You thank Thor and any other God for keeping Bucky in his boxers but wow. He bends down over the sink to rinse his face. He takes a deep breath and dries his face with a towel. He reaches to run his finger over the picture taped to the mirror. Your heart hammers in your chest loud enough that Bucky might hear it. He opens a cabinet and pulls out… here we go.

He pulls off the cap and a boom sounds through the space. His face looks like he took a mordida out of a birthday cake and someone else shoved his head farther into the icing. White foam drips from the ceiling and onto his head. His face is in shock and confusion.

“What the hell?”

You try your best to hold in your laugh but it was no use. Bucky hears the muffled gasps for air and yanks open the shower curtain.

“You little shit!”

He reaches for you but you duck under his arms and race out of the room into the hallway. Bucky’s not that far behind you running and leaving a trail of shaving cream behind him. You get to your room and lock your door.

The harsh pounds of a vibranium fist makes your room shake. “Open the door Y/N.” You stand in front of the door with the biggest grin.

“Or what? You know, I think you have bigger problems on your hands.” You lean to whisper to the crack in the door. “You made a little mess.”

Bucky turns to see the white foam that has turned the compound into a slip n slide. Down the hall a tired Sam comes out of his room rubbing his eyes. “Can you guys shut up everyones trying to sleep.” He looks at Bucky, “Why do you look like Santa?”

Bucky sighs, “What?” Sam motions to the foam beard of Bucky’s face but he’s still met with a confused look.

“You know what, cut the bullshit and clean up, Tony’s gonna be pissed when he sees this.”

The man himself appears in the hallway. “Barnes why the fuck does my compound look like a winter wonderland?!”

Sam chuckles while retreating to his room, “Told you Santa.”

Bucky sends one more pound to your door. “You better watch your back Y/N.”

“Buena suerte Barnes.” Good Luck Barnes.

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It’s been a week since the shaving cream prank and Bucky still hasn’t retaliated. Usually he would get you back the next day and you weren't gonna lie, this scared you a little. How bad was this next prank gonna be? He’s taking too long and the urge to pull another prank is eating you alive. But the stupid rules state that you can’t prank the other person twice in a row. So that meant you had to wait for the bisabuelo with the metal arm to pick up his steps.

The team had decided to go out and have a small bonfire near the trees outlining the compound to have a relaxing night. Tony had made a traditional campfire with logs for seats and had a built-in s'mores tray full of gram crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows. The logs seated up to three people leaving you to sit with Wanda and Peter, Wanda in the middle while you and Peter sat on the edges. Across from the bonfire sat Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

You haven’t sat at a bonfire since you were a little girl taking trips south of the border to go visit family. Memories started to come back from your childhood making you teary eyed.

Wanda noticed, “Y/N, are you okay?”

You look up to the stars hoping the cool air would dry your eyes but more memories come flooding in. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m just… remembering.”

She lifts a hand to hover above your forehead. “Can I?” You nod as a stray tear falls down your cheek. A red glow emits from the palm of her hand as your mind is pushed back several years to a place you once called home.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The clear starry night of your abuelas rancho has always been one of your favorite things. Your absolute favorite however was the life that those stars shine on. Your cousins are running around in the backyard playing with a ball and your abuelo is setting up a small campfire as you watch closely next to him. One of your cousins kicks the ball too hard in the wrong direction and knocks over a flower vase causing it to break. Abuela comes out of the house, “Ya me quebraron la maceta! Ya a dormir!” You broke my pot! Now to sleep!

Everyone walks inside like a dog with its tail in between its legs. You leave your abuelos side and start walking towards the door, towards abuela.

“Usted no. Quiero hablar contigo, ve y siéntate al lado de la lumbre.” Not you. I want to talk to you, go and sit next to the fire.

As you make your way back to the fire your grandfather bends down to kiss your head. “Buenas noches mija.” Goodnight. You look up at him and hug his waist. “Buenas noches abuelo.” He retreats into the small house for the night leaving you to sit in the warm dirt. The ends of your hair brush the earth with its length, reaching below your hips when you would stand.

She finally came out holding half a lemon, a cup of water, and a comb. You knew this meant she was going to comb your hair so you sat up straight and waited for her to sit behind you. She places the items on the ground and gathers your hair in her hands, slowly running her fingers through the long strands.

“Que largo tu pelo, que bonito.” How long your hair is, how pretty.

You squeeze the lemon into the cup of water and mix it. This mixture was like nature's perfume for hair. You hand her the cup, soon you feel the liquid running down your hair and down your neck. You stare up at the stars as she divides your hair into three sections and starts to braid.

“Tu cabello tiene tanta historia y tanto significado. Cada hembra representa a nuestros antepasados y nuestro orgullo.” Your hair has so much history and so much meaning. Each strand represents each of our ancestors and our pride.

She ties off the braid with a rubber band and pulls you to sit on her lap facing the fire.

“¿Me puedes prometer algo?” Can you promise me something?

You pull the long braid over your shoulder and run your fingers over the groves. “Si abuela.” Yes grandma.

She kisses your head, “Sé que no estaré aquí por mucho más tiempo y serás libre de tomar cualquier decisión cuando seas mayor, pero por favor no te cortes el cabello. Representa más de lo que sabes.” I know I won't be around for much longer and you will be free to make any decision when you're older but please don't cut your hair. It represents more than you know.

You don’t ever want to imagine a life without her but one day a strand will belong to her, meaning she’ll never leave you.

“Te lo prometo.” I promise.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your hair has been in a braid ever since, long enough now that its ends fall beneath your lower half. Wanda removes her hand and hugs you. “She seems like a beautiful woman.”

You smile at the memories, “She was.”

You look around at the people gathered around the fire making s’mores. This is your family now, in some way. You hear a soft thud on the ground and look over to Peter. “Oh noooooo, my s’moreeee…” You finish the last line with him, “...it’s brokeeennnn.” You two giggle with each other over your stupid humor and go back to eating the warm treat.

Thor speaks up from the circle. “Is it possible to have pop tarts instead of gram crackers?” Clint gives a concerned look, “How do you not have diabetes?” Before Thor could respond Bucky shoots up from his seat. “Yeah, I’ll go get some.” You watch him as he walks back to the compound then turn your attention to Natasha as she starts telling ghost stories.

It’s been a couple of minutes and Bucky should have been back by now. You look towards the compound and he’s nowhere to be seen. Across the fire, Steve smiles at you but his expression quickly changes. Before you can ask what’s wrong you feel someone pull your hair from behind, almost pulling you off the log, and in a second the weight is gone. You turn to look behind you to find no one there.

Turning back to the fire Bucky takes his seat and raises what looks like a long rope with scissors. “I think you’re missing something.”

Wanda looks at you and gasps, quickly turning to Bucky with eyes fuming red. Everyone's attention switches from you to the item Bucky’s holding and small gasps are heard from all around. You take a closer look at the rope he’s holding, confused at the statement said before. But it's not a rope, it’s your braid.

No.

You reach behind your head to gather the long thick hair in your hand, but there’s nothing there. You freeze. A breeze brushes past and you feel the ends of your hair touching just above your shoulder. Mumblings from the group and yellings from Wanda ignite all around, but you can't hear anything, can’t feel anything.

“¿Me puedes prometer algo?” Can you promise me something?

You can’t breathe.

“Te lo prometo.” I promise.

You look through the fire to see Bucky confused at your reaction, there's a hint of worry behind his eyes. That’s when the tears start to fall, and they don’t stop. You can feel a panic attack coming to the surface. Hiccups and sudden gasps for air shock your body while hot tears fall onto your chest.

Wanda grabs your shoulders and brings you to stand. “Let’s head inside honey.”

You don't respond, it’s like your body has no control or urge to move. As both of you pass Bucky, Wanda snatches your braid from his hands. “You cold-hearted, insensitive man.”

Bucky makes a move to stand as you two walk off but Steve places a hand on his shoulder holding him down. “Just stop, Buck. You’ve done enough.”

The walk to your room feels like a year's journey. How could he do this to you? Yeah, you never actually told him how much your hair meant to you but you didn’t know he was going to chop it off. The prank wars went far but never this far. But how can someone justify this as a prank? This wasn’t a prank, this was pure cruelty. Wanda opens your bedroom door and ushers you inside to sit on the bed. You stare at the ground with teary eyes and feel a dip in the bed behind you. Wanda gathers your short hair in her hands and a sob finally breaks through you.

She leans to speak softly in your ear. “Shh, don’t worry honey. Don’t you remember?” She holds her hand in front of your face. “Some people don't call me a witch for nothing.”

She holds the long chopped braid under the new shorter tips of your hair. A red glow gleams behind your head and the familiar weight is brought back to your scalp. Your head whips around to face her while the braid follows the movement onto your shoulder.

“Wanda, how did you-?”

You hug her with such a force almost making both of you fall off the bed.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, Wanda.”

She laughs and steadies your bodies, “Your welcome.”

A knock turns your attention to the door. You wipe your tears away, “Who is it?”

“It’s Bucky can I come in?”

You start to push yourself off of the bed when Wanda puts an arm on your shoulder. “Are you sure? You smile and nod. Bucky has his head down when you open the door. Wanda shoots him a glare as she walks out leaving both of you alone. Bucky walks in looking at the floor and lifts his head as you close the door.

He catches sight of the long beautiful braid reattached as if nothing ever cut the strands. He lets out a relieved sigh. You walk around him to sit on the bed and pat the spot next to you signaling him to take a seat, he does.

“Y/N I-”

“I made a promise to someone that was very dear to me. I planned to never break that promise until I was six feet under.”

His eyes stare into yours with regret and sadness.

“What you did out there made me feel like I was already six feet under. Even further than that.”

A tear rolls down his face. “I’m so sorry Y/N I- I never would have done what I did if I had known. Please forgive me.”

Your hand rises to cup his cheek, wiping away his tears with your thumb. “I forgive you. Truce?”

He takes your hand in his. “Truce.”

He hugs you. Hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Your chin rests on his head as you run your fingers through his hair. “Bucky?” His hum is muffled through your hair.

“Why am I on your bathroom mirror?”

“Shit.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: Yay! This is my second post and I’m so excited to do more. Any suggestions are extremely appreciated! My request box is open so feel free to leave a little something :)

#Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #prank #prank war #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barns x y/n #Bucky Barnes mexican reader #campfire #marvel #imagine #family death /#family death #mexican reader #Female reader #wanda maximoff

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