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#sorry for all the rants I’m on my period and I have pms

existentialbogwitch · 2 months

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What is wrong with me:

1. I’m autistic. Not officially diagnosed or anything. But it is something I am pursuing. It is very likely. There are many reasons why.

a. I had sensory issues as a child that were very disruptive and insistent.

I. I refused to wear jeans until like 3rd grade probably, only because I didn’t want to just wear dresses all the time. My preferred item of clothing will always be sweatpants and sweatpants adjacent materials. Also things that look like you could wear them to dance class. Cozy, soft, non-restrictive (unless its extremely stretchy/compression fabric - and sometimes I can’t do that, it varies widely)

II. Sound sensitivity. I have better hearing than most people, but I struggle with human voices and too many of them in the same space talking at the same time is extremely overwhelming for me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to listen to or focus on and I become extremely anxious about missing out on something important. I have a very low tolerance for loud noises and I prefer to constantly have background white/brown noise because silence aggravates my tinnitus and I find the white noise soothing. I feel instantly more safe when I am wearing headphones and listening to dark grey (spaceship) white noise specifically. I’ve started wearing earplugs again as an adult. My mom would put cotton balls in my ears when I was a kid because I always complained about everything being too loud (she didn’t believe me). I don’t know why it never occurred to her to take me to a doctor.

b. I had frequent night terrors and anxiety from a young age. Vivid nightmares I can still remember.

c. I struggled with balance and could not dance as well as my peers because I was somewhat lacking in coordination.

d. I struggled socially and was very shy and reserved, unless I was performing and had a specific script to follow with words to say. I could read really well and was good at projecting my voice because I was taught how to sing at an early age, so people assumed I was capable of communicating normally. I still spoke very softly and people asked me to repeat myself all the time. I have trouble modulating the volume of my voice sometimes when I get too excited.

e. I could memorize information and recite it back, but it did not mean I understood it and people really don’t bother to look into this too much.

f. I am one of those people who are naturally very good at music in a way that is frequently very annoying to other people and I absolutely get it.

g. I have a tendency to get obsessed with things in not good ways.

h. Family history of drug use and addiction

I. I am frequently referred to as annoying or “a lot”

2. I have experienced a LOT of trauma. I am realizing that most people experience a good amount of traumatic things happening to them throughout their lives, and to an extent this is “normal.”

Simply because many people have experienced pain though, does not in any way detract from your experience of your personal pain. Sometimes we are led to believe that we are not allowed to feel our feelings. My feelings matter, and I have a lot of very big feelings. I have had debilitating anxiety since I was a child.

Being autistic and not being diagnosed earlier in my life has led me down a really frustrating mental health “journey” that I’m sure I am not alone in experiencing.

I have heard that CPTSD is a common occurrence among autistic individuals. I need to find some sources to back this up, I haven’t been keeping track of sources for this stuff, and I need to start doing that.

I have severe social anxiety and I have for as long as I can remember and I have to actively fight a battle that everyday looms closer to full blown agoraphobia and it is something I feel (not surprisingly) a lot of anxiety about. I have anxiety about my anxiety? I believe these are just panic attacks. Thus the cptsd.

My family has never really accepted me and I am working up the strength to start seeking my own chosen family and I’m terrified.

I want so badly to be able to express myself as I genuinely want to be, not as a reflection of societies expectations of me.

I want to be able to say that I’m non-binary and not feel weird about it.

I want to be able to tell people that just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean that I don’t care about children.

I don’t have kids because it would be irresponsible of me to have children.

I’m trying to get back on birth control so I can feel better about being sexually active in a state with terrifyingly backwards opinions on abortion.

I am afraid to be myself in most places in real life because I do not know who might be judging me.

I wish I had a place I could just be myself.

(Affordable housing is mental health care. Thank you)

I need to go back and finish my design degree so that I can make slightly more money and move out of my parents house. If I live here for the rest of my life I will lose my mind.

I am trying my best to make positive changes in my life, but it is very slow progress because I seem to routinely make terrible impulsive choices due to poorly managed adhd probably.

My therapist is very good and I’m so glad I have that resource at least. I need to find group therapy as well though and I’ve had less luck on that front because of my “unique” work schedule. Also the fact that none of the groups I’ve tried contacting so far have responded yet, but it’s only been a few days. I still need to do more research. I’m scared of any groups that meet in a church because I have a history with religious trauma and a lot of my depression is existential and I don’t want to go into a group setting and upset more people with my worries and questions.

I really want to make sure I find a good, safe place I can share - so I feel less inclined to pour my soul out to the void maybe.

I feel really narcissistic making posts like this because I know no one else “really” cares, but there’s always that little light in the back of my head that goes “remember how much it meant to you to read the things that other people post about their lives” and that encourages me a bit.

I plan to do some historical research on human development because I’m having a lot of weird existential questions about the nature of ego and reality and what “I” really means and who “I” am. And when I’m setting something like a goal, what are the most important factors to consider? When I’m making a decision, who is the most important factor in the equation? Is it my own personal happiness? (Which is of itself an incredibly complicated question, because happiness is extremely subjective).

Needs of the many vs. needs of the few becomes complicated when the many is comprised of an oppressive group. suddenly needs become bullets. Needs are used to subjugate and control.

I really, really wish more people would watch Star Trek.

And talk about their feelings openly.

But that’s a big ask.

I will be adding to this post as I feel like it with no discernible goal. Vaguely I am eventually trying to get an autism diagnosis, but I’m in no particular hurry as I’m self employed and would get no real benefit from it unless I lose my teaching job and have to seek unemployment.

#late night rant #delete later #what is wrong with me #things to tell my therapist when she gets back in town next week #sorry for all the rants I’m on my period and I have pms #I’m also sick #on spring break #I have watched 2 seasons of Star Trek discovery so it is not all terrible #this post is sponsored by Vicks vapor rub #screaming into the void

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wrenhyperfixates · 3 years

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Queen of the Night

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Loki takes you to the rooftop greenhouse to show you his favorite flower, the queen of the night. Your evening ends with a confession of love. Warnings: the tiniest bit of angst but also excessively fluffy A/N: The reader is gender neutral; queen in the title refers only to the flower. Enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @thelokiimaginechroniclesficrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord

Disclaimer! Gif not mine

You looked up from your game of solitaire as Loki flopped down on the sofa next to you. He looked exhausted, even more so than he usually did after a training session with Thor. Loki sighed, and you set your cards aside, turning your body to give him your full attention.

“Are you ok?” you asked as he shook his head no. You hugged his head to your chest and scratched his back lightly. He was practically purring at your gentle touch. “Want to talk about it?”

“Yes, darling, I do,” he began. “Thor uses brute strength, and not to mention Mjolnir, when we train. Yet I am unable to use my magic, for it is against the rules that he set for our sessions. Just like back home. He doesn’t even seem to have a strategy; just punch. It is so unfair!”

“Extremely so,” you agreed. “Have you tried talking to him? Or not training with him anymore.”

“I have, but he just makes those pathetic puppy-dog eyes. Says it reminds him of Asgard. I, on the other hand, was hoping this would be one of the things I could escape by moving to Midgard, these wretched training sessions.” He sighed again. “It makes me think I preferred my cell.”

“You don’t mean that!” you said in a panic. It broke your heart to hear him say such a thing.

“You are right, I do not,” he calmed you. He pulled back from your embrace a little so he could cup your cheeks. “It is just very frustrating.”

“Well, if you ever need to rant, I’m here.”

“I know, darling. Thank you.”

He leaned in as if he was going to kiss you. You tried not to get your hopes up. Heaven knows how many times you’d been in this same situation, one of you leaning in towards the other before thinking better of it. Everyone else in the Tower seemed to be over the unspoken thing between you and Loki. Quite frankly, you were pretty exasperated with it, too. Still, that voice in your mind kept wondering if maybe you were wrong, if there was no unspoken thing. Then you’d look like an absolute fool, and maybe even lose your best friend. Or, at very least, make things uncomfortable between you for a while. Regardless, the pattern continued, and he broke away.

“Darling?” he said after a minute of silence spent sitting in such a close proximity without actually doing anything, that it was bordering more on awkward than adorable. “I was wondering if you would like to join me tonight in the greenhouse on the roof? There is something I wish to show you.”

“I would love to, Loki,” you replied with a shy smile.

“Well then,” he grinned, placing a small kiss to your knuckles, “I shall see you there, 8 pm sharp.”

As he left you on the couch, smiling and giggling to yourself, a simultaneously thrilling and terrifying idea suddenly raced through your mind. Wait, you thought. Did he just ask me out on a date? You supposed there was nothing left to do but wait and see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You found yourself wishing you’d worn a heavier coat as you stepped out onto the roof in the cold night air, shivering in your lightweight clothes. You chose to wear your favorite top, which just so happened to be the same shade of green that Loki had claimed as his own over a millennium ago. It was purely coincidental, you told yourself; it definitely hadn’t become your favorite top when you noticed the way he looked at you when you wore it. That was preposterous, of course.

As you stepped into the greenhouse, you found that your choice of clothes wasn’t so terrible, after all. The glass room was temperature controlled and dimly lit. It was so warm, in fact, you wondered if you might have to take your hoodie off. You wouldn’t mind, of course. You’d be able to show off your shirt even more. You quickly shook your head before you got started on that train of thought again. It’s not like he specifically said it was a date, so you shouldn’t get too far ahead of yourself. Though, if anything was going to convince you this was one, it would be the romantic atmosphere, and the way Loki was sitting on a blanket with a picnic basket, pillows and fallen petals surrounding him.

“Darling,” he said upon spotting you. “There you are. Right on time.”

“Yup. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. But, uh, what exactly is this?”

“The Epiphyllum oxypetalum.”

“I’m sorry, what?” you asked, looking at him like he had six heads. You had been hoping his answer would be more along the lines of ‘this is a date’ or ‘we’re just hanging out’. But nope, he’s speaking Latin or something.

“Epiphyllum oxypetalum. More commonly known as the queen of the night,” he explained, patting the spot next to him on the blanket. “It is my favorite flower.”

You hesitated a second before going to sit beside him. “May I ask why?”

“You may, indeed,” he replied, eyes lighting up. “See, when I was younger—one hundred, maybe two hundred years old—my mother grew this flower in her garden, but I could never see it bloom. I would watch it all day, but then when I went to sleep and came back in the morning, I just found out more had wilted without ever having bloomed! It was infuriating. Well, I went to my mother about it, and she explained that it only bloomed once. At night. So, we stayed up all night to watch them. It was, in a word, magical. Something about the way they will only bare themselves to those patient enough to wait, to look carefully. I can not explain it, but it is wonderful.”

“I think I can explain it.” You looked at him with a soft gaze and took his hand, swiping your thumb over his knuckles. “The flower and you are kind of one and the same, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps.”

“Like the way you let yourself be true to who you are around me,” you continued. “It’s like the blooming thing. I think it’s sweet.”

“Well, of course you would. Somehow you seem to think I have never done any wrong,” he said, a nearly imperceptible tear rolling down his cheek. Nearly. You leaned in and kissed the wet drop away. He looked startled as you pulled back, and he held you an arms length away. “Darling.”

“Sorry,” you said, silently cursing yourself. “I hope that was alright. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I can go, if you want.”

“No, please do not mistake this as me wanting you to leave,” he quickly pleaded. “I want you closer, even. It is just that you compare me to this flower, though it is beautiful. But me? I am a monster.”

“Hey, it’s ok. You’re not. Look at me? Please?” you asked, cupping his cheek as he stared at the ground. “You are not, I repeat, are not a monster. Loki, you are good, kind. Those who have hurt you do not dictate who you are. I love you, Loki, and I don’t think I could love a monster.”

His face said nothing, but a million thoughts flashed behind his eyes. You? Love him? By all accounts, it made no sense. Could he be dreaming? He must be.

“You should not love me. I do not deserve it. What if I hurt you?”

“Well, I’m surprisingly resilient,” you joked, trying to cheer him up. “But that doesn’t matter because you’re not going to hurt me. So whether I should or should not—and really, who’s to say?—I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you a thousand times, to the moon and back. With all my heart, every fiber of my being. I love you.”

Loki didn’t even think, he just kissed you. He kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you forgot everything else you ever knew. It was just him now, in this moment. His scent, his touch, his lips. Him. Perfect and loving and gentle and tender. Neither of you moved, besides to wrap your arms around each other, to hold each other even closer, to deepen the kiss even more. Other than that, you just sat there, lips locked, affirming everything your words said and didn’t say. Nothing else mattered. Just him, king of the night. King of your heart.

“I love you, too, darling,” he said. He had pulled away just enough to speak what was on his mind, and his lips brushed yours as he spoke. “I am still dangerous. I still fear I will hurt you, ruin you. But I cannot go on without you. If I am to allow myself one thing, it must be this. Oh darling, I love you as I never have anything or anyone before. No throne could compare, no crown could better. All the gold and riches in the Nine Realms could not even dream of competing with your kiss, your embrace. I love you so wholly and completely, I do not know how I ever lived without you.”

“Loki,” you whispered. He was looking in your eyes so intently it made goosebumps erupt on your skin. “You’re more beautiful than every flower, more precious than their delicate petals. I don’t think words will ever be enough to tell you how I feel.”

“I agree, words will never suffice.”

He kissed you again, trying to express everything he didn’t know how to say, everything he didn’t understand about how this could be real. And you responded, reassuring him that it was real, that he did deserve it. That what you felt for him in this moment would never go away. It would only get more intense, more powerful. Loki wasn’t sure what magic you were working exactly, but he started to believe. He supposed that was just the power of love.

Eventually, you broke apart and laid down next to each other. You chatted a little, but fell into periods where you just held each other. The picnic basket he’d brought was filled with your favorite foods, and you snacked on them a bit, holding small bites to the other’s lips. You watched the flowers, too. A few of them bloomed as you looked on, and it brought a smile to your lips. The smile that bloomed on Loki’s face was even more breathtaking than the opening petals, in your opinion.

“Loki,” you said, and he turned to look at you, gently caressing your cheek. “Thank you so much for sharing this with me.”

“Of course, darling. It is like I said,” he replied, a light, happy sound in the tone of his voice. “I love you. I am glad you like it.”

“And like I said, I love you, too. I really do like it. It’s beautiful, just like you.”

Again, the two of you met in a kiss. Whether or not he had intended for this to be a date, it had sure turned into one. And something more, too. A new beginning, a perfect start to something that would last long beyond just one night. You’d planted the flower of your love, and you knew its petals wouldn’t wilt in the light of day; they’d last forever.

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fandomscombine · 4 years

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Period Cravings

BG: Periods can be a pain. Food cravings are usually the easiest to handle. But with Hogwarts under curfew and not willing risk it all for the blood quill what could you do? Looks like someone had go above and beyond to help.

A/N: Why did I decide to write something about food in the middle of the night, it’s like I wanted to make myself crave on purpose!

This is an entry to @blisfvll ‘s 1.5 celebration writing challenge! With the following prompts:

14. “I swear to God I’ll punch you.” “You can’t even reach my shoulder.”

15. “I don’t know if I wanna kill you or kiss you.”

WC:1223.

>>MASTERLIST<<

>>JOIN MY WRITING CHALLENGE!<<

You don’t normally get period cramps you are very thankful for, but of course when it does come, it hurts like hell. Luckily Madam Pomfrey has a supply of menstrual pain-relieving potions available for those in need. Which you had taken after dinner. Although now sitting in front the common room fire, you had another problem. Cravings. Which magic unlikely could not fix. Oh what you would do for a plate of a hot chocolate lava cake topped with cold vanilla ice cream! A glance to the clock- 9:55 pm- had killed whatever small hope of getting that sweet treat from the kitchens. It was almost curfew.

The last of the students were arriving back, deflated like always after Umbridge had become High Inquisitor and held Hogwarts with an iron grip.

‘If you keep making that face y/n, your brows are gonna be permanently sewn together.’ Fred remarked.

Which only made you scowled further.

‘Sorry Sorry!’ Fred raised his arms in surrender. ‘I bet you would still look cute even when your face ultimately stays mad.’

Did he just called you cute?- Well no exactly but also could he be? You thought but before your brain could process if his teasing had something behind it, your body reacted first. Next thing you know, you had hit his arm.

‘Ouch woman! You hit hard!’

‘Well these chaser arms do pay off even outside of quidditch.’ You knew Fred only tried to cheer you up. He always does, when he sees you down or anyone for that matter and would crack jokes to brighten the day.

Placing your hand on his arm as to lessen the pain you begin, ‘I’m sorry. You were just trying to make me feel better and I released all this crap onto you.’

‘Heyyy heyy it’s okay.’ Fred said, pulling you for an embrace, ‘Take it out on me all you want, I can take it. Anything for you.’

Breaking away he continues, ‘What’s got you bitter anyway?’ Genuine concern in his eyes.

You looked away. ‘Ahh it’s so stupid- It’s nothing really.’

‘I am Fred fucking Weasley, I do stupid things all the time. Try me.’

‘I want a hot plate of lava cake with ice cream.’

‘Say what now?’ Fred stated, a bit confused.

‘I would die for some lava cake and ice cream right now.’ You stated with a deadpanned face.

‘This craving is driving me insane!’ You explained. ‘Normally I would just sneak out to the kitchens but now with the threat of getting my hand scarred with the blood quill, it is a no go. No way am I risking that just for a period craving. I wouldn’t even wish the blood quill to a bully.’

‘yeah yeh….’ Fred mumbled, lost in his own thought.

Waving a hand in front of his face ‘Freddie are you even lis—’

Fred abruptly stood up. ‘I—I got to go y/n. I forgot something in the—’ Running out of the common room, the rest of his sentence cut off by the closing of the door.

An hour later, right before you were getting ready for bed. Your roommate had come in giggling, ‘Y/n! Good you’re still up. Fred is downstairs waiting for you by the way.’

Waiting for me? What could this boy be up to now??

But you nod anyway. ‘Thanks y/f/n. I’ll be right down.’ You put on your fluffy slippers and make your way down to the common room.

You first caught sight of Fred pacing, making your way closer to the communal study tables you then saw it. ‘WHAT THE-‘you exclaimed.

‘Surprise!’ Fred said with handing presenting the table full of desserts- Chocolate frogs, cauldron cakes, hot butterbeer and the showstopper plate of a hot chocolate lava cake topped with cold vanilla ice cream!

‘As you can see, I have also added a couple more stuff, which I noticed Ginny and Mum eat during you know the time of the month, been told that those help ease the pain and cravings. And Ohh! I also have these…’ Fred handed you more stuff from the chair. ‘Heating pads and a couple of potions from Madam Pomfrey- though she was a bit annoyed and worried that I asked her for them so close to curfew…and’ His cheeks blushed. ‘after all that she calmed down cause she said that I was being the most caring boyfriend and knew that we would make a great couple…’ Fred chuckled nervously.

Seeing that you haven’t said anything, yet he continued hoping to salvage anything after that boyfriend/girlfriend comment, ‘apparently quite a number of teachers are shipping us together, some even have bets!’ He tried to sound nonchalant but failed. ‘Can you believe?’

Alternating from him, the food on the table and the heating pad and potions in your hand. You brain is going a hundred miles an hour.

On one hand, this is just wow, never had you felt so taken cared of before- and securely this surpasses best friend territory, right? Fred had gone above and beyond. This was some boyfriend material stuff right here. But what if you’re just overthinking and reading too between the lines y/n? What if you just want to see what you want to see. But your thoughts keep going back to the boyfriend quality worry, the going above and beyond. And he did mention that relationship comment right? He didn’t seem to take offence at the idea….

On the other hand, your own worry had taken over. What he had done for you was so risky, he could have been caught. If he had he would have suffered and have scars on his hand, all because of you and you could live with that. How could he be so reckless? – Wait why are you even still saying this to yourself…

You broke off your internal monologue. ‘WHAT THE FUCK FRED?!??? YES FREDDIE THIS IS ALL SO SWEET AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD BEEN CAUGHT?? YOU WOULD HAVE SUFFERED AND BE PUNISHED BY THE BLOOD QUILL!! HOW COULD YOU BE SO RECKLESS?!?’ Your anger from worry had slowed now, you looked up to him with soft eyes. ‘You did this all for me. If something bad had happen to you, it would because of me, and I don’t think I could live with that Freddie.’

Fred had always been able to see through you, and to see you so anxious for his safety warms his heart. He tucks the hair that had fallen out during you rant. ‘But you see love, I wasn’t caught. Reckless- Yes. But caught? Nope. Maybe I should try that again….to test my skills.’ He teased.

You glared at him. ‘You. Will. Not. Or else, I swear to God I’ll punch you.’

‘You can’t even reach my shoulder.’ Fred resorted. ‘You know… you are so cute when you’re frustrated.’

‘Ughh!’ Rolling your eyes. ‘I don’t know if I wanna kill you or kiss you.’

‘Rather kiss me more, I hope.’ He smirked. Then got serious., he held your waist. ‘But I wanna do it properly and take you out on a date first.’

You brought your hands up to the nape of his neck and started to play with his hair. ‘Well then let’s us consider this as our first date!’

---

Taglist [All/General]: @gruffle1

(omg I just noticed that tumblr tagged a different account 😳that have a similar username, just a letter off😳 this is why sometimes I don't trust tumblr's automatic tagging system! @blisfvll my bad😅)

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #blisfvllswritingchallenge #fred weasley fluff #weasley x reader #harry potter x reader #weasley twins #fred and george #fred and george weasley #fandomscombine writes

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serendipityseulgi · 4 years

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8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find.

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between.

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.”

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs.

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body.

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox.

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you.

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life.

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed.

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!”

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?”

Of course you do.

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.”

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you.

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh.

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?”

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod.

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend.

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time.

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :(

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way.

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics.

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong.

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving.

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him.

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before.

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell.

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss.

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips.

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust.

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy.

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you.

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you.

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him.

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another.

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates.

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his.

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry.

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement.

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half.

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture.

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.”

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement.

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly.

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him.

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules.

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much.

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him.

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly.

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her.

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation.

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too.

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees.

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it.

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another.

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?”

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another.

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you.

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused.

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home.

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you.

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...”

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly.

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table.

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories.

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup.

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving.

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia.

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.”

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home.

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire.

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you.

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time.

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly.

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit.

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips.

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.”

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.”

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember.

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?”

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another.

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time.

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

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1-800-hellraiser · 3 years

Text

The Other Side Of Paradise

Requested by: No one

Words: 1,841

Aged up: Nope

Song: The Other Side Of Paradise- Glass Animals

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Pairing: David x Counselor!Reader

!TWS!: A small bit of swearing and mentions of suicide and manslaughter at the end.

(A/n: This chapter is kind of an alternate ending to The Order Of The Sparrow (s1ep12). Essentially what I think would happen if another counselor (aka Y/n) was there with David and Max. Also sorry if Max is a bit ooc, I can't write him well.)

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

"I know you don't but I, I know you don't but I still try. My thunder shook him down. My thunder came and shook him down."

When things couldn't get any worse, it started down pouring. "David, just let it go." Gwen says, standing beside you. "No no no! I can still light it, You'll see!" David says, as he goes back to trying to light the bonfire. The kids just stare at David with bewilderment. You hear Neil say "I can't belive I frenched a platypus for this!" Gwen sighs and starts herding the kids into the mess hall. "Come on kids...you coming, Y/n?" She asked, you shook your head. "I'll call for you if anything happens." You say as Gwen nods.

"Y/n! You understand, right?" David asks you with a desperate tone. "I do David, but-" you cut yourself off with a sigh, not knowing how to word the next sentence. You crouch down next to David, as he still tries to light the fire. You're about to speak but a certain jaded ten-year-old cuts you off. "Well David, you were right! This is amazing." You glare at Max, standing across from where David is crouching. "Max, you should be in the mess hall with Gwen," you say to the child. "If I could just, show you." David says, with a hurt look on his face.

"Do you really think a big fire and an outdated and honestly racist tradition is going to make anyone care about anything?" Max questions sarcastically. "Max..." you warn the small Indian boy. You stand up from your crouching position and kneel in front of Max. "If you don't go to the mess hall this instant, you will have double chores for a week and no pudding cups for the rest of the month. Got it?" You explain in a stern, yet calm voice. Max rolls his eyes and makes his way to the mess hall. You sigh and go back to David.

"I just wish people understood." David mumbles after an extended period of silence. "I may not understand what you're going though, but I understand what you're doing for the kids. It's admiring that you put in one hundred percent every day for these kids." You say, putting your s/t hand on David's shoulder. You feel his shoulders sag under your touch, your heart sinks to your feet. "It's just...times have changed. Whether I like it or not. The campers don't care, Gwen doesn't care, even the founder of this place has better things to do. That's why I'll never stop trying. Because somebody fucking has to." David says, you stare at him in disbelief.

"Davey, please...why don't we do this tomorrow? The wood won't be wet and you need a break from the kids." David sighs and nods his head. You two both get up and you walk David to the cabin. It wasn't exactly the end of the day just yet so Gwen was still in the mess hall with the kids. After you drop David off at the counselors cabin, you tell him you'll be right back. You open the doors to the mess hall and walk over to Gwen. Gwen was ranting to the kids about how they should respect David and everything he does to keep them safe and happy.

"Hey Gwen, just wanted to let you know David is at the counselor's cabin and he's taking a break from the camp tomorrow." You say, Gwen nods in agreement and continues to talk to the kids. You duck out of the mess hall and make your way back to the cabin. You open the cabin and notice that David is sitting in his bed, running a lanky hand through his hair. You gently close the door and sit next to him. Putting your hand on his back, you rub comforting circles into his back. David lets out a shakey sigh, "I just wanted to show them something cool, and they don't even care...what's the point anymore?" You almost stopped rubbing David's back when he says that.

"I mean, the kids don't care, Gwen doesn't care, Mr. Campbell doesn't care, you don't care, what's the point?" David sighs out, tears welling in his eyes. "David look at me." You say, putting a finger under his chin and gently moving his head to make eye contact with you. "I couldn't care more about you and everything you do for this god forsaken camp and these kids." You say, wiping a tear from David's eye. Without warning, David envelops you in a hug, sobbing uncontrollably into your shoulder. You continue to rub his back with one hand and you start to run tour hands through his hair with the other. You whisper sweet nothings into his ear, trying to get him to calm down.

After an hour of consoling him, David falls asleep in your arms. You gently move him onto his bed and pull his blanket over him. Gwen came into the counselor's cabin about a half hour ago. You tell her you'll be right back, as you forgot something in the mess hall. You exit the cabin and see Max, leaning on the right side of the door. "Max, what are you doing up past eight? You've been here long enough to know no-one can roam around past eight pm." You question, Max sighs.

"Yeah I know the stupid rules, I just wanted to talk real quick." You cross your arms and raise a brow at him. "Okay, walk and talk with me, I forgot something at the mess hall." You say as you proceed towards the mess hall. "I know how hypocritical this sounds coming from me, but I feel...bad. Bad about what I said to David earlier. And I want to make it up to him." Max says hesitantly. "Go on..." you say, pushing him to continue. "I want to do the dumb 'Order Of The Sparrow' thing." You smile, and ruffle Max's hair. He grumbles and sho's your hand away from his hair.

"Wait, Max, how are we going to do this if the other campers don't know?" You ask, looking down at the ten year old boy. "After Gwen left, I talked them into doing it. We'll wake up at the ass-crack of dawn and Preston will make the outfits and I already taped the staff back together. You just have to let Gwen know about the plan and wake David up at around five thirty am. Got it?" Max finishes, you nod. "Yes I got it, now get to bed kiddo, we have a big day tomorrow." You say, walking into the mess hall. You return back to the cabin, Gwen is awake and writing in her journal, and David is still passed out. Perfect. You let Gwen know about the suprise and ask her if she'd be willing to do it. She agrees and you both head to bed.

"Wake up Davey." You whisper, gently shaking his shoulder. His eyes flutter open "wh- Y/n? Why are you up? It's five thirty, we don't get up until six. " You blush at how deep David's morning voice is "I know today's you're day off, but I have a suprise for you!" You whisper excitedly. David rolls out of bed and you take a black piece of fabric put it across Davids eyes. "Y-y/n?" "It's a pretty big suprise, don't worry, I'll guide you there." You say as you take Davids hand and lead him out of the counselors cabin and back to the bonfire pit from last night.

As you and David make it too the spot, you quietly motion for everyone to get into position. Nikki shoots and arrow past David as you're taking his blindfold off. "Nikki! No. More. Arrows!" Gwen yells, "You can't control me, white devil!" Nikki yells before running off. David looks around at the campers and Gwen stunned. "...you're all dressed up as-" "Indians, like you said!" Neil cut David off. "We designed zie outfits ourselves!" Dolf added. "Do you love them?! I love them!" Preston interjects. "But, why..?" David asks.

"Alright I fixed it, everybody hurry up and...oh shit he's awake." Max says, holding the taped up staff. "Y/n, Max, did you-" "DO NOT LOOK TO DEEPLY INTO THIS!" Max says, pointing the staff at David. "You suck, this world sucks, and one day, we're all going to die and none of it will matter. But if we didn't do this, I'm pretty sure you'd kill yourself or something." Max finishes, David sniffs and wipes away a tear. "Oh you two..." "Or shoot up the camp, I don't know it was a possibility." Max says, shrugging. "Max!" You scold the boy.

"Thank you." David says looking at you and Max. "Whatever, just take your stupid stick." Max scoff as he tries to hand David the staff. The staff breaks in half for the third time. David pushes the staff back to Max with a heart-melting smile on his face. "Awww....lucky." Space kid says next to Max. Max smacks Space kid in the face with the staff, making him fall backwards. You stifle a laugh. You and David walk over to the raging bonfire. "Y'know, this is kinda nice." Neil says, staring at the fire. You hear the strum of a guitar and look over to Quartermaster and Gwen.

"There's a place I know that's tucked away, where we can go to laugh an play."

You look around at the smiling campers and they all crowd next to the bonfire. You and David glance back at Max. He rolls his eyes and smiles as we walks over to the fire as well.

"And have adventures everyday. I know it sounds hard to believe, but guys and gals it's true..."

"Hey Max, how'd you start a fire with wet wood anyway." You ask, looking down at the boy. "I'm not an idiot Y/n, I used gasoline." He says, your and David's face drops. "Wait what?" you both say in unison as the campfire literally fucking explodes. "WHOOO! DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN!" Nikki cheers, you chuckle and wrap your arm around David's shoulders. "So, do you like it?" You ask. "Like it? I love it. Thank you, Y/n." He says, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Camp Campbell is the place for me and you."

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pebblemacaroon · 3 years

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Genshin Impact Husbando Tier List Because I Have No Life

My Genshin Impact Husbando Tierlist. I may as well out explanations under the cut because why the hell not. Also this is just my opinion, I’m not trying to shame anyone who like these guys. I would also like to say that I pretty much adore all of these characters to some extent (besides Scaramouche and Razor since I their just...I don’t like them and Albedo since I don’t know a thing about him).

Albedo: I don’t know a thing about him other than he’s some genius alchemist. So I went off of looks here, and he’s just a meh for me. Not a big fan of the hair mostly. He does have an elevator though, so that’s a nice bonus.

Aether: Like Albedo I judged him off of his looks since he doesn’t really have much of a personality, and said personality changes whether you picked him as your traveler or not. He’s a meh, but I think Albedo looks better.

Baizhu/Baishu: Well ok, I don’t know much about this guy other than he’s the boss of Bubu pharmacy and that he potentially overprices his medicine. I’m only AR 31 so I am a long ways away from any story quests that might include him. Anyway, he seems like a decent guy... but also a little weird. Doesn’t help that he’s got a talking snake around his neck.

Bennett: Oh poor Bennett. This boy needs a hug. Unfortunately he only ends up in meh tier. Remember, this is a tier list for a romantic relationship, not people I’d like to be friends with. Although Bennett would rank highly on that tierlist. While I do like his spirit, I find that people that are super optimistic can be a little annoying at times. Don’t get me wrong, its impressive and I admire people who can be optimistic about everything (especially Bennett), but it can be tiring to deal with all the time. That and also his bad luck. But like I said, this boy needs a hug and should stop being bullied by Lady Luck. He deserves better.

Childe/Tartaglia: Do I really need to explain? But I will. First off, Childe is a Fatui Harbinger. That already prevents him from being in the decent tier. Sure, he might not be the worst Fatui Harbinger, but it doesn‘t change the fact that he works with the Fatui, who likely commit unspeakable atrocities on a daily basis. And Childe is a Harbinger in said organization, meaning he orders at least some of it to be done in the name of the Tsaritsa, unpaid debt, etc. And from what I’ve learned, he’s extremely bloodthirsty. That really turns me off, knowing that he‘s always itching for a fight. I haven’t even touched on his personality. He’s charming sure, but he gives me the sense that he’s never really genuine. A faker essentially. Oh did I mention he also wants to take over the world? No. Thanks. The only reason I didn’t immediately put him in ‘What the hell’ is because I have yet to play his story quest and that he is at least a family guy, so it does show he has at least SOME morals to an extent. My opinion probably won’t change, unless his story quest proves to be really good.

Chongyun: He’s cool. But I really don’t know much about his personality, but he just seems aloof. And he has a popsicle animation and...ok I don’t have much to say about him. He’s a really good exorcist that tries to suppress his yang power. Ok. He doesn’t seem like that bad a dude so I wouldn’t put him in No Thanks. He’s the meh-est in the tierliet for me.

Diluc: Oh boy oh boy, this man needs a hug. But like I’ve been doing, I have to say I’m not the hugest fan. Ofc he’s one of the better ones on the tier lis, but he doesn’t do much for me. Admittedly, part of it has to do with the fact that he’s the owner of the Dawn Winery. I don’t really like the idea of being in a relationship with anyone in some sort of position of power in general. Still, I’ll admit that if I were judging in terms of how good a partner they’d be for this list, I’d put him in the pretty good tierlist. But I dunno, there’s just this...thing to Diluc that makes me scared to even get involved with him, yet I wouldn’t mind being in some sort of relationship with him. I guess it boils down to how I see Diluc. He’s a really sad guy, and he really needs a hug and emotional support. I guess it’s the fact that I’m not really willing to do a lot for a relationship (but I dunno. Haven’t been in a romantic relationship yet, and I don’t see that changing any time soon). Anyway, let’s stop being sappy here for now.

Kaeya: I’d say it’s self explanatory, but I have multiple friends who are Kaeya simps, so let’s go on a rant. So, Kaeya. Charming guy on the surface, but a manipulative man with a silver tongue. Like Childe, he always puts on some sort of act, or at least is the kind of guy who you’d describe as ‘they always smile, but it never reaches their eyes...’ and I actually would never want to get involved with a person like that period. At the end of the day, he’s the type of cunning man I would try my best to avoid at all costs. At the very least, he does have morals. Also I don’t like that him getting drunk is somewhat of commonplace. Sorry, but I don’t like drunkards.

Razor: I think it’s pretty self explanatory on why he’s in ‘What the hell’. The reason is plain and simple: he’s a furry. A wolf boy to be exact. Like...no thank you. I wasn’t really a big fan of him when playing through his story quest. I can kind of see why Razor can be a candidate for best boy (that goes to Bennett or Xingqiu imo), but not as a husbando. Sorry to say this, but why the hell am I going to date a wolf boy?

Scaramouche: Also self explanatory. He’s a pompous asshole, and a cruel and powerful one at that. The kind of guy I would never want to even lay eyes upon.

Venti: Ok ok I know people are probably going to be a little triggered but let me explain. So, Venti. Fun guy to be around. Around. I personally like the idea of being a friend with Venti but nothing more. He just doesn’t really click with me. I know he’s in the No Thanks tier, but like I said, he doesn’t click with me in that way. If anything, I don’t want to enter a romantic relationship with Venti. Mostly because he’s a drunkard with no money, and why must be have a tendency to get into trouble all the time?! Venti get into crime BY YOURSELF, DON’T DRAG ME INTO YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-

Anemo Archon with wisdom he may be, but it ain’t change the fact that he can get his n my nerves too easily sometimes :)

Xiao: I just don’t like that he’s an edgy boy really. Also like, Xiao is an adepti at the end of the day. While him being in a relationship makes for some excellent angst, I really wouldn’t want to do that to him if I somehow end up liking him. I don’t like edgy boys much in general in terms of husbandos, but then him being an adepti? That’s the deciding factor. He’s not What The Hell because he’s not really that bad. At the end of the day like many of these characters, he needs a hug and some emotional support.

Xingqiu: Fine. I have some bias with Xingqiu. He was my first 4-star and I use him all the time unless he truly is useless in a boss fight or domain. I actually do like his personality. He has a really refined way of speaking, but he just says some of the most goofy things. More or less, I just like his speech really. He’s all chivalrous too. I would’ve put him in pretty good, but like with many things, I mostly just find him to be really goofy and fun to be around. Although I will admit he’s probably my favorite on the list.

Zhongli: He’s pretty cool and funny. At first, I thought I was going to hate Zhongli even as a character, but he turned out to be really awesome. So why isn’t he in the Pretty Good tier? Well for one, he’s an Archon. Like I said, the thought of being in a relationship with an Archon or Adeptus or anyone in a position of some power doesn’t really appeal to me all too much. Although unlike with Xiao who is an adeptus, Zhongli can turn people into adepti. So at the very least, if he did take up a human lover, he could prevent heartbreak since humans die in a blink of an eye for him. So hey! I can save him some heartbreak :) But, he’s still an Archon...so yeah. I think what really sets him back is his oh so traditional mindset. While I don’t mind doing things traditionally, some traditions are just...they don’t sit well with me. There’s also his lack of MORA. Zhongli, for the love of all that is holy, bring your own wallet and not poor Childe. Over all, I find Zhongli to be pretty decent for me, but there are things that keep him from really clicking with me.

Anyway, thank you for reading this husbando tier list I made and wrote at 12 am with 1 braincell intact and postponed posting this until 4 pm.

....

...

Holy shit.

I’ll need to add a read more to this.

#Genshin Impact #Diluc #kaeya #xiao #albedo #zhongli #razor #baizhu #Baishu #xingqiu #chongyun #bennett #Scaramouche #Venti #childe #Tartaglia #aether #a very diverse tier list I know #Pls give me someone I can simp for hard tho mihoyo #Although some of these guys are good for yandere...especially kaeya and childe. They are terrifying #But this is for a normal and healthy relationship #And none of these guys do it for me #But if it were basing this off of a yandere tier list they would all be in what the hell #Seriously being in a relationship with a yandere is not cool #I mean I guess it’s because I find yandere to be a horror genre #I find the idea of someone obsessed with you horrifying #but if their obsession is out of genuine love? That’s terrifying #Oh god I typed a whole essay in the tags #Anyway pls give me someone I could genuinely simp for Mihoyo #Or any game dev

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masqueradeball · 3 years

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How about number 3? Like, tell us all about it if you want :)

Oh my gosh 🥺 thank you so much for giving me my first ask! 💖 I'm eternally grateful I get to spill all my pheels out.

3. What is my favorite Phantom tv/film adaptation?

My absolute favorite Phantom is the 1925 Lon Chaney silent film. He just embodies everything that I like about Gaston Leroux's Erik for me and he is both horrifying and pitiable. I dislike the ending but I can live with it given it's what test audiences wanted at the time. I truly love his Red Death costume. You can find it on Youtube and the Tubi app for free.

My first runner up would be Claude Raines in the 1943 because his Erique so soft and tragic in that film I cannot help but love him. This was one was my grandma's favorite 'classic monster' movies that she loved, so I have a special place in my heart for this one. I love his hair and appreciate that he was one fine silver fox before the revenge and jealousy issues set in. The opera parts are a little boring, but the costumes and the sassy diva rival to Christine are worth the watch. We get 2 handsome Raouls who end up going to dinner together at the end of the movie and a Christine who gets to bask in the limelight of her career while not choosing any suitor, which is the best possible outcome for her. Double play for the win in my book! You can watch it for free on the Peacock app.

My next runner up is a 3 way tie between Robert Englund, Gerard Butler, and Charles Dance.

I honestly enjoy all their performances because they each bring something unique to the role.

I cannot stress enough how violent the Robert Englund version is if you want to give it a go, but Erik Destler is insane, twisted, and fabulously murdertastic in this. I love the creepy, evil vibes the man gives off. Think of this film as a time travel AU of the original novel. I feel like he nailed Leroux Erik's darker, snarky personality that some people tend to forget he had and the gothic horror parts of the original novel are there. Bonus: they keep the Faust parallels like in the novel!

I'm gonna say it: I love the Charles Dance miniseries. I know it's not the best, but damn, he is so dry and sarcastic I cannot help but enjoy his performance. I want to pinch his cheeks and smother Cherik with the love his father never gave him everytime I see him. Again, this one focuses on the operas a lot, and for me it's a bit boring. But the backgrounds, settings, and props in this thing are fantastic and the costumes are wonderful too.

That leaves Gerard Butler in the 2004 movie. No he is not the world's greatest singing Phantom, but I don't care. I absolutely love his facial expressions and body language. The Phantom is an emotional, expressive dude and the Red Death costume scene is pretty good. I love how kind and sincere Emmy feels in this film and I appreciate she's not overracting and doesn't feel fake compared to some other Christines *coughSierracough* Being the film version of the ALW musical, this Phantom story focuses on the romance and Gerard excels at that. When he and Christine are singing Past the Point of no Return, I FEEL THEIR PASSION! And that's what counts more so than hitting the same notes we've all heard a million times before.

Now for the versions in the 'I will eternally like this' category 😊 :

The Phantom of the Paradise from 1974. This is also a very violent and dark film so fair warning if you haven't seen it. It's a bizarre rock musical, but if you're weird like me and enjoy Rock & Rule or the Rocky Horror Picture Show, this might be a film you'd like too. I don't want to spoil it too much but the Faust/devil parallels are here too, as is various pop culture references. His teeth and mask are terrifyingly cool, and so is the electronic voice box he uses. It makes sense Daft Punk was inspired by this film. Maybe G1 Soundwave was inspired by this film too, but that's a debate for another day 😉

Next is the animated 1988 film. This one features animation on par with other 80s tv cartoons of the time. I love that they kept the Persian and the torture chamber from the novel. The Phantom's death scene is pretty damn epic. Christine is kind of a flake, but animated Leroux Erik is hilariously insane and terribly charming, especially when he calls himself a Don Juan. It's worth watching just for his antics and his dialouge.

You might not expect a Goosebumps episode to do a Phantom story any justice, but here we are: 1995, The Phantom of the Auditorium is a spooky fun take on the story and honestly, I'd like to see the full play the kids at that school are putting on cause it looks better than some of the live Phantom stage scenes I've seen. Both young boys playing the Phantom are fantastic actors and the plot twist at the end is great.

I absolutely have to give a shout out to Wishbone's Pantin at the Opera. He is the best, cutest, most adorable Raoul de Chagney ever and I will fight you if you dare talk smack about this version. I'm not even a Raoul stan by any means but like, this dog is precious and I enjoy this episode so much.

Also in the animated category and cute dog category is Scooby Doo Stage Fright made back in 2013. This movie is one of my fave Scooby Doo films (yes I own almost all of them on dvd) and there are multiple Phantoms, a reality tv show contest, and Fred and Daphne finally kiss each other! Lots and lots of hidden Phantom references in the background and lots of voice acting talent for those of us who appreciate that.

Now for the versions I intensely dislike 😏

The 1962 Herbert Lom version. UGH where to start. The sets are so small and everything looks dirty and of the wrong time period. The color in the film looks washed out. The clothes look too modern somehow (maybe it's their hairstyles?) and it bothers me. It feels low budget in a bad way and it shows. This phantom is not likeable or pitiable even though his backstory is similar to the Claude Raines version. He has no romantic interest in Christine, so it feels off. This guy is such an old a$$ piece of sh*t, he literally slaps Christine as she's singing for him for no damn reason. His paper mache mask looks like a Kindergartener's botched art class project. His personality is like somebody locked up cranky grandpa in the basement and he's PMS-ing because y'all forgot to give him his daily prune juice. This squatter's lair lacks creepiness, and his bizarre sidekick is annoying and yet somehow more interesting than the Phantom. The pervert manager trying to bang Christine aggravated me and simultaneously made me want to vomit. Raoul is the only likeable character in the whole damn movie. The Joan of Arc opera scene makes up for some of the film, but it's still terrible.

Next on my meh list is the 1983 made for tv movie starring Micheal York and Jane Seymour. Now, this one has some likeable and applaudable scenes: the various murders and general creepiness of the Phantom, and the lair scene when she wakes up in his bed and the Phantom gets all up in her face is so intense and so Leroux I absolutely love it. The rest of the film is a jumbled hot mess at best, but Jane Seymour is 🔥 and she gets some damn good sex, so hell yeah to that!

And lastly, I do not like the Royal Albert Hall 25th anniversary recording. I should preface this by saying it is Sierra I don't like. I like Ramin, I love Hadley, everyone else is wonderful but I cannot stand Sierra. She tries too hard to make Christine a Disney Princess- and that doesn't fly with me. It comes off as insincere or mocking the source material at best, and at worst it makes Christine look like an airheaded ditz. Apparently Sierra played Ariel at one point which is hilarious because of all the Disney princesses, I dislike her the most. But that's a different rant for another day.

And finally, the one I hate most of all:

The 1998 Argento film. This is the worst Phantom adaptation I've ever seen. It is a whole lotta nope for me. Between the rats, the unecessary and pointless telepathy, the r*pe scene, and the unfunny weird vibe from the murder going on in this film it's a disaster from start to finish. Honestly, it's the rats and his hair that bother me from a visual standpoint alone and it's beyond disgusting the way this a$$🤡 treats Christine. I don't like any of the characters in here and for good reason. It's not worth watching and if you do, be ready to bleach your brain afterwards.

💖 Sorry if this was a long read! Thanks again for giving me an ask and I will cherish it forver!!!! 💖

#phantom of the opera #poto film adaptations

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smutty-ki113r · 2 years

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anon check in

so my head’s been a FUCKING ASSHOLE since yesterday.

like, im talking mild headache escalating to damn well,,, rlly huge headache. so yesterday i slept at 8 fucking pm and its 1 pm now. it kind of hurts still??

this hasnt happened before but the headaches have tho. you know the nausea that comes with headaches? in previous episodes of mine all i had to do was wait until i was nauseous enough to throw up and then the headache just *poofed*

but yesterday was different, and GOD i hate headaches sm.

sorry for the rant-ish thing,,,

🤍 anon

Omg never be sorry!! I understand your pain, on my period my stomach hurts so bad I can’t eat the first day! I’m in excruciating pain until it hurts so much I have to sleep and even then sometimes it dosent work :/

I hope you feel better now! I love u so much! DRINK SOME SOUP!

#💬

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goldenchan-fx2thepeacock · 3 years

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Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 2

So, I have no clue what a publishing schedule is. So here, have more of this dumb fic at 11 pm. FUCK SLEEP! SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!

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Chapter 2

Danny and Jazz managed to finish just in time to put everything away before their parents got home. He’d actually managed to have a ghost free night. But the peace wasn’t going to last. And this wasn’t about ghosts. He got slammed into his locker. “Hey look, it’s Fenturd. What’s with the dumb picture of Phantom? You’ll never be on his level,” Dash said and laughter broke out. Danny groaned. At least they didn’t know he was trans. He’d be beaten twice as much if they knew. The locker door closed and locked. “Seriously Dash? I have to get to class!” He yelled through the metal. “Whatever Fentina. No one cares! Oh hey, it’s fresh meat!” Dash went away from Danny’s locker. Danny had found out a way to make it so he could open his locker from the inside without it being outerwardly compromised. He jumped out. It was those kids from last night. “Leave them alone Dash. They haven’t even been here for a day yet. The rules are that newbies get a probation period,” Danny crossed his arms. “I don’t know Fentoenail. Would you like to take their beating?” Dash mocked him. Danny sighed. He’d have to do this. “Any day,”

Danny regretted everything. Dash had hit him twice as hard as normal and his locker trick wasn’t working. Everything hurt. He was going to miss Lancer’s class. At least his ghost sense wasn’t going off or something. Lancer wouldn’t miss him. Suddenly, his locker opened and he tumbled out. He yelped. “Are you okay?” The girl twin said. “No worse than what I’m used to,” Danny brushed himself off. “You didn’t have to do that,” The boy twin told Danny. “Yeah, I kinda did. The probation period is sacred. Dash knows that,” “Probation period?” The boy said. “A rule we made up last year. If Dash really wants to break it, I take the beating instead. Fenton gets to take the beating so the new kids don’t have to,” “That’s not fair. You should report him,” “Nah, he threw like four perfect throws last night and is exempt from punishment,” “Football?” The boy gave Danny a knowing look. “Danielle- I mean Daniel Fenton to the main office,” The loud speaker said. “Oh come on! At least it was probably just a misread,” Danny was fuming. The beating plus being deadnamed was getting on his nerves. “We have to head there too,” The girl said. Danny shrugged and let them follow him.

Lancer called them all in at once. “Sup Lancer. Can I help you?” Danny leaned against the wall. “Mr Fenton. You and I both know that you need to show me more respect. W-what happened to you?” Lancer looked up from his papers. “Just a certain football star. Nothing I can’t handle. He broke the probation period,” “That’s a rule between students. I have no need to enforce it,” Lancer sighed. “I have no clue why you of all people were chosen for this, but you are too be Mr and Ms Pines guide around the school,” “Jazz not good enough for you? Had to pick the ‘slacker’ Fenton?” “Daniel, mind your tone. Jazz is our top student,” “We all know I’m destined to fail in life. Can I get their timetables?” “Yes of course. Listen Danny, both you and I know you’re capable of better grades. I don’t understand why you don’t try,” Danny wasn’t in the mood for Lancer’s pep talks. “I’ve got more important things to worry about,” Danny grabbed the papers and stalked off with the Pines Twins on his heels. “Why didn’t he do anything about Dash?” the boy asked. “He has no reason to. Not like I’m about to ask,” Danny handed them their timetables. He’d seen that the girl was named Mabel and the boy Mason. “We’ll start with your classes Mason,” “I prefer Dipper,” “I’m not calling you by a dumb nickname. Let’s go,” Danny growled.

Just as he was about to lead Mason to his first class, a royal pain in his ass showed up. “Daniel! I require your assistance, little badger,” “It’s bound to be another plan to get in my mom’s pants. Go away,” “Now, don’t be like that. I’m the mayor after all. You should be honored,” “Plasmius, shut your goddamn mouth. I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck,” Danny said so that only Vlad could hear. “Well, something’s got you in a tizzy. I’ll ask later. I should tell you though, it’s about Danielle,” “What did you do to Dani?” Fury. Wait, he had to get the kids to class. “Nothing. It wasn’t me. You should ask your ghost hunter girlfriend,” Vlad grinned. Fucking Valerie. “Come on kids. You’ve got to get to class,” Danny ignored Plasmius. Valerie was going to die.

At lunch, he purposefully turned into Phantom and waited for Valerie on top of the school. She took no time at all. “What. Did. You. Do. To. Dani,” He glared at her. “I didn’t do anything to her! You’re going down ghost!” “Am I really?” Danny was pissed. She wasn’t getting any mercy today. He teleported behind her. “What the... HOW?” “Where is she?!” He growled. “What do you care? She’s always off on her own,” “Does it look like I care Valerie?!” “How did you know?!” “I know more than you seem to think. Tell me where Dani is. NOW!” He froze her feet. She looked terrified. “What’s wrong with you!? Why do you care so much about her? Ghosts don’t have feelings,” Danny lost it at that point. The laughter was dark. Hollow. Horrible. Val’s terror was visible. “Don’t have feelings? DON’T HAVE FEELINGS? FUCK YOU! I’M SO TIRED OF ALL THIS!” “Phantom, calm down,” Val was terrified. Danny wasn’t done. The rings were threatening to come down and expose him to her. “So you admit this is real? Would you like to know how it feels to die Val? How it feels to live on the line between life and death? Wait, I can’t do that! You don’t have a deactivated portal in your basement that I can make you turn on while your inside. I don’t have a stupid jumpsuit with your dad’s face on it so I can take off the that sticker. You don’t have parents that threaten to rip you apart molecule by molecule for just exsisting! You don’t have to see a future where you become evil because you cheated on one test and your family all died! Can you even begin to comprehend what I go through? Ever been cloned? And forced to do something incredibly painful so that one clone can get fixed and watch another get lied too? And that’s just the brunt of it Valerie. Keep telling me how I don’t feel. How I’m nothing!” Danny screamed at ice engulfed their feet. Val’s eyes went wide. “D-Danny?” She said quietly. “Congratulations! You aren’t as niave as the rest of Amity Park! How does it feel?” He’d snapped. “Calm down! I’ll tell you where Dani is!” She shrieked. That hollow laugh came back. But instead of an angry rant afterwards, he just sunk to his knees and screamed. It wasn’t a wail. It was a scream of pain. Of being done with the world. “I can’t do this anymore,” He sobbed and the rings went down. All that was left now was a beaten, broken Danny Fenton. “You should change back. I’ll take you to Dani,” Danny nodded and followed her. “Sorry I broke down. I’m just sick of people telling me that I can’t feel. That all ghosts can’t feel. You don’t even bother talking to us, ya know?” “Ghosts lie,” “And so do people! I’ve talked to the ghosts. Listened to them. Heard their stories. I protect people, but I protect them too!” “How do you know those aren’t just acts?” “Cause they make sense. I’d have the same response if it was me. If my parents burned down the place I was in because I got caught being gay,” “I’m confused,” “Ember. I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone. But you need to know that they all have reasons for being the way they are. Skulker’s family was hunted, so now he hunts to prove his strength,” “Maybe we should talk to you more,” “Maybe you should. No one asks to die,” “But your parents say that ghosts don’t remember their lives. They’re the leading experts,” “That’s like putting a ten year old in a room of babies. They’re the expert by default in that situation, but an adult would be the expert the moment they walked in,” “Why don’t we know about that,” “Dying is traumatizing. Even half dying is traumatizing. It’s taboo to mention it unless you’re told. No one explains it until they’re ready. And talking about a life before that is almost wrong,” “How did you learn?” “Skulker told me during the Christmas Truce. Ember told me one day when she just wanted to be left alone, but I did too. I guess things end up working out in weird ways,” “The Christmas Truce?” “On Christmas Eve and Christmas, ghosts have a truce. No one is allowed to fight anyone that day. The Ghost Writer broke the truce and Walker got to haul him off in just means,” “We really know nothing about ghosts, do we?” “No, you don’t. They even have a party. I got invited last year. Skulker let me make the star! It took me weeks to get it right,” Danny smiled at the memory. He’d made a scale model of a blue giant that went through it’s life stages. “So there’s a whole society?” “A government. Systems. Main rules. Taboos. Just cause we’re ghosts, doesn’t mean we don’t have a system,” “I’m sorry,” “What?” Danny nearly froze. “I’m sorry that I made so many assumptions. I never should’ve chased you or any ghost like that,” “Keep them out of Amity Park and send them back to the Zone. Most ghosts forget that living is dangerous, so they just rampage. I keep trying to talk sense into them, but they’re pretty stubborn,” “What about the dog?” “Dog? You mean Cujo? I was trying to stop him from trashing Axiom. He was trying to get a toy. I’m sorry that recked your life Val,” “My life? Wrecked? When compared to you, my life is a dream. It’s not like I died,” “I guess you’ve got a point,”

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Thanks for reading. I just like fics where Val finds out, and this one seemed like an okay place to stick it. Dani is fine. I’ll fill you in on that next chapter, but I should get some sleep.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #trans!danny #trans!dipper #danielle (dani) phantom #valerie gray #mr lancer #red huntress #cujo #skulker #ember #ghost writer #christmas truce #gravity falls #dipper pines #mabel pines #I know Dipper's real name because I learned about the series through journal three #ocs

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jtsfavslut · 4 years

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Stages[2/6]

Description: In which a girl goes through six stages to realize and accept the fact that her marriage is going downhill.

Stage Two: Anger

- Stages 1

- Stages 3

Description: Yeimy is upset, but only at herself. All she’s feeling is anger for being blind, and letting Grayson step all over her.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k+

You clenched your fists as you looked at time that was displayed on the stainless steel stove in your kitchen. He was three hours late, yet you hadn’t received a single phone call during the entire day. Usually, if he was staying late he would’ve called you to let you know, but he didn’t so you busted your ass in the kitchen to make him dinner only to have it placed in a tupperware container and placed in the fridge until he decided to come home.

You’ve been feeling like that all day. After getting woken up by his loud voice because he couldn’t find his belt, you wondered why he was going to work almost two hours early and coming home three hours late.

The thoughts and questions angered you. Maybe because you knew the answer, but that wasn’t the answer you were looking for so you decided to push it away. It angered you that you’ve been feeling sick and throwing up all day, yet you pushed through and made him his favorite dinner only for him to not come home on time.

It angered you that the only thing you could think about was Grayson being unfaithful to you.

And it angered you that you knew he was staying loyal to her. He won’t kiss you on the lips anymore, he’ll sometimes kiss you cheek before he goes to work, or on the forehead when he comes back. Or when he says an ‘I love you’ that you know doesn’t mean shit to him anymore.

You slammed the fridge’s door and made your way to the couch where you watched TV until you heard the gates unlock and the sound of his Tesla make its way inside the garage.

“Hi angel,” he said, walking inside and throwing his keys on a smile table next to the front door.

“Hi, dinner is on the table. I think you know how to heat it up don't you?” you spat turning off the tv and making your way upstairs to your room.

You noticed how cold and strange the room felt. The bed was perfectly made from the morning, and your night stand was dust free. Your wedding picture catches your eye. It was your favorite out of all the pictures. Grayson’s hands were tightly wrapped around your waist, while yours were wrapped around his shoulder, and you looked into eachothers eyes. It was taken right before you threw your bouquet into the air, which Karina managed to catch.

“Angel are you ok?” Grayson said standing on the doorway. His voice caught you by surprise making you drop the frame on the floor and the glass to shatter all over the floor.

“I’m fine, just a tad sick. Now if you excuse me, I have to clean this up,” you said signaling to the broken picture frame. You angrily pushed past him and made your way to the kitsch to get the broom.

You angrily sweep the glass up, taking out the picture and placing it on your nightstand, until you could find another frame. That was if it was even worth it putting it up.

“Hey angel, have you seen my black louis shoes? I can’t find them anywhere.” Grayson asked standing infront of you while you were laying on the couch watching How To Get Away With Murder, the only thing you’ve been doing for the past two hours or so.

“I haven’t seen them ever since you went on that weekend business trip last month,” you carelessly replied emphasizing on the business trip part. Mainly because you knew it was yet another lie.

“Are you upset? Did I do something?” he asked you, making you roll your eyes and scoff.

“The question is what haven’t you done Grayson.” You spat and rolled your eyes yet again at his confused state.

“You go to work two hours early but then come back home three hours late, which I don’t understand how but then again who the fuck knows what you do in that office. I stay here, como una puta idiota, waiting for you to come home, I cook, I clean, I do everything and lately I’ve been by myself. You’re constantly telling me lies but when I say something you pull the ‘are you questioning me card’ and I'm sick and tired of it,” you said getting p from the couch and walking towards the kitchen while he stood in the living room like an idiot.

“You forgot our anniversary last week, Grayson. And honestly I don’t know what’s going on with you or what you’re going through, but I hope you can get your shit straight and not waist my fucking time.” You added while aggressively opening the kitchen cabinets looking for your coffee cup.

“And don’t bother waiting for me tonight, I’ll be with Karina and Ethan. Maybe you can hang out with the boys since you haven’t done that in a while,” you sarcastically said before giving up on looking for your cup and going to your room to get ready.

If you weren’t mad before, then Grayson not replying and letting you go like that was sending you through the roof. Did he not care anymore? Or was he just letting you get space?

Whatever it was you couldn’t continue to think about it because Karina snapped her fingers in your face multiple times.

“Nena, we’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes,” she said while Ethan nodded his head in agreement.

“Are you ok? You seem too deep in your brain, and you look extremely upset.” Ethan pointed out, making you sigh.

“I’m fine trust, Grayson’s acting weird but I guess it’s because he’s under a lot of pressure.” You sighed as Ethan sent you a confused look.

“Yeah, he said you guys are really busy with the new projects and launches, and that there’s a lot of meetings he has to go to which stresses him out,” you said making Ethan’s heart ache for you. He knew there weren’t any launches for his and his brother’s company, and they definitely haven’t attended any meetings in the past few weeks.

“Oh yeah. The meetings he always gets stressed out by those. Always wanting to impress everyone, you know how he is.” he said, trying to sound as honest as possible, yet something felt a bit weird to you, but you decided to let that slide.

“This one is like that too. Always trying to please everyone, when he knows he can’t” Karina replied while playfully smacking the back of his head making you laugh.

Karina always found a way to make you laugh, that’s just one of the reasons why you’re best friends. And the fact that she’s also hispanic and you can talk shit about others without them understanding.

You decided to go back home around ten pm, since you were feeling a bit calmed down and you were starting to get tired. But that moment was caught short once you entered the house and Grayson started questioning you.

“You do the same thing tho, so I don’t get how it bothers you,” you shrugged, getting a bottle of water and sipping on it.

“But I-,” he began saying before you cut him off.

“But I, nothing. I’m going to bed, this conversation is done. Bye.” you replied deciding to be the bigger adult and left the kitchen, took a shower and went to bed.

The next morning you woke up in the same mood as yesterday, if not worse, Grayson asked if you were on your period, which you weren’t since you had it two weeks ago.

Honestly, you didn’t know what was getting you so upset. In the back of your head you did know tho, you simply did not want to accept it, so you just let it go, and that was starting to bother you.

On the other hand, you were angry at yourself for being so stupid and for putting Grayson in a pedestal letting him step all over you.

But you had enough of that. You decided that you needed a day for yourself so you went to the hair salon, cutting your long black hair up to your shoulders, you went to the nail salon and your nails and toes done, you went shopping and spent an unnecessarily amount of money on clothes you did not need, but who gives a fuck? You certainly did not.

After you did whatever that was, you went back home and put everything away, cleaned around the house a bit and decided to meet Karina and another friend of yours for dinner.

“Alright Yeimy, what’s going on with you?” Ambar your other friend asked you, you mentally rolled your eyes getting annoyed but trying to not be rude.

“I’m ok, Grayson’s just acting a tad weird,” you sighed and she nodded her head while Karina sent you a ‘what’s wrong’ look.

“Is he cheating on you?” she asked, making you snap.

“I don’t fucking know Ambar. I don’t. I think he is. But I don’t know. And I’m upset because deep inside my heart I know he is, and I know he doesn’t love me anymore. And what’s even more fucked up is that I can’t confront him because I don’t have fucking prove.” You slightly shouted, dragging attention to your table.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I just, I-,” you apologized feeling bad for letting out your anger on her, when she didn’t do anything wrong. “I just don’t what to do, and I feel like a fucking pendeja,” you added while they’re faces showed they felt sad for you.

“Mami, is ok. Relax you’re going to get through this. Vos es fuerte y averiguaras todo. Por ahora, olvídate de eso y sigue actuando como si vos no supieras nada hasta que encuentres algo,” (You’re strong and you’ll find everything out. But for now, keep acting clueless until you find something) Karina spoke in her colombian accent making you smile. Everytime she spoke spanish her accent always made you feel better, or just her in general. (A/N is it just me or is speaking in accents that are not yours fun. One second I’m british and the second I’m Columbian)

“Whatever she said. Just make sure you confront him when you’re certain and have proof, because he’s going to deny it, even tho he is babe,” Ambar replied and you nodded your head smiling.

“What would I do without you white ass and Colombian ass,” you replied, making them laugh.

“Probably die, who knows?” Karina jokingly shrugged making you laugh.

“I guess so,” you shrugged with a smile. Your mood completely changes after ranting to your best friends. “What do we do now?” you asked. You didn’t want to go home yet, and it was early anyways.

“How about we go to the beach, and blast music?” Ambar asked and you nodded your head.

“Yes, just like when we were 18, listening to Yeimy’s indie playlist,” Karina said, making you playfully smack her arm.

“Shut up. You know you like it,” you joked leaving a $20 bill on the table as tips and leaving the restaurant. (Y'all always tip your waiters well, they get paid shit)

“I do love my baby Clairo,” she laughed causing all of you to laugh.

You spent the rest of the day at the beach with your old playlist on shuffle, thank god the area you were at was empty allowing all three of you to sing your hearts out until Ambar left, even if your voices would have probably gotten Simon Cowell pretty upset.

“Remember, after we both got that internship at WakeHeart we came here and celebrated with Ambar?” Karina asked, making you nod your head with a smile.

“Yeah, we were 18 right? Just starting college.” You replied and she nodded her head.

“Those were some good times. Now 24 and boring as fuck,” you sighed and you nodded your head agreeing.

“I guess that’s what happens when you get married young,” you replied, laying down on your car’s roof. You were sitting on the roof of your Jeep just looking at the ocean while music softly plaid in the background.

“I just realized, I rushed my entire life for what? I started dating Grayson six months into knowing him, he was what 22? Got married 2 years later when I was 21, Graduated college and started working for him. Stopped working at the office last year, and now I stay at home while he’s out putting his dick inside who knows,” you sighed looking at the stars above you while your mind raced at twenty five thoughts per second.

“Everything happens for a reason Yeimy. And you’ll figure everything out, just take it easy on your mental health. And I can’t really give you any other piece of advice because I’m not going through that,” she reassured said, grabbing your hand.

“I hope what you’re saying is true, otherwise I don’t know what to do.” You sighed squeezing her hand back.

“Everything happens for reason babe. Everything,” she said, you nodded your head and continued looking out into space.

Stages 3

Tags: @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @333dolans @vinylhazza @foxglovedolan @dolanissues @mercurygrant @persistence-ofmemories @dolansficsandpics @blindedbythelightt @kinkygrays @pineappledols @the-evolution-of-stupidity @evergreendolan

#grayson #grayson x reader #grayson bailey #grayson dolan #graysonbailey #grayson dolan imagine #dolan #dolan twins #ethan dolan #Ethangrant #ethan dolan x reader #bad bitchikins

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awed-frog · 4 years

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Do you have any advice for someone who’s really struggling to study? I’m really stressed and demotivated, and I can’t seem to sit down and just study. In my country we only have virtual classes so maybe It has something to do with that, it’s really sad that it’s my first college year and I haven’t attended one single face to face class. Anyway, If you have any kind words I would really appreciate it. Love your blog btw <3

Hey! Thank you for this! And I’m very sorry you feel that way...just know you’re not alone, I think we’re all a bit ‘what’s the point’ rn, and for students (and teachers) this period must suck especially hard. I don’t know exactly what can work for you, but here are a few things that come to mind. I hope you can find something useful!

Have habits and routines. Our days are all over the place, which is not good for motivation or mental health. Instead of procrastinating, feeling guilty, working in a hurry and then feeling even worse, decide on a schedule that works for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself - give it as much time as you need to do the work well, and devote the rest of your day to stuff that makes you feel accomplished and serene (maybe learn or practice a non-screen skill, such as cooking or painting?).

And: at risk of sounding like a yoga mom, don’t forget about your body. Very often stuff like bad mood or exhaustion has physical, not mental, causes. Try to make time for sport - dancing in your underwear, running outside, walking the dog, online pilates, a 7-minute app - and, if you can, a few minutes of meditation, singing or breathing exercises every day. I’d recommend the ‘cardiac coherence’ stuff - lasts about 3 minutes, makes you feel really great. And: remember to stretch, smile and drink water throughout the day. If possible, go outside or have plants and flowers around you.

When it comes to habit, try to understand what kind of person you are and react accordingly. Some people work best when they change cold turkey (new day, new me), while for others it’s better to adjust things more slowly (for instance by moving the alarm clock forward five minutes every week or two). If you’re the second type, a method like Pomodoro could work well to organize your work schedule.

Have pretty things. Try switching to ink or coloured pens, have nice stationery, organize your Word documents so they’re neat and tidy, use candles, plants, ‘good mood’ incense - whatever makes you feel your work has meaning and worth.

Try background music. Some people work better with noise, and you can find all kind of noises online, from stations to coffee shops to purring cats. Others like classical music. For me, what works is video game music, which is designed to keep you alert and focused while being unobtrusive.

Try to keep your workspace as similar as possible to a ‘real’ workspace. No stack of dirty mugs and plates, no abandoned pajama bottoms. If you can manage it, start your day as if you were actually going outside - dress for actual human company, put on make-up if you like to - and remember to prepare your desk the night before: textbooks, charged laptop, notebooks, water bottle, possibly a diary or a motivational quote or anything you find useful.

If it helps, study with friends or classmates. Have video meetings, chats or shared Google docs and work together. Rant with people who’re going through the same thing, but also find a way to help one another. If you live with flatmates or family members, maybe you can find a moment to work together on your separate things? Dad does admin, mom prepares a work presentation, you do your homework and that’s ‘work time’ for everyone?

Divide your tasks. Make clear lists of what you have to do - as detailed as possible (not: shakespeare essay, but: 1. read book, 2. write essay, 2b. introduction and so on) and pay attention to when the stuff is due, either writing it down in agendas or post-its or creating alerts on your phone. Some people also like the square of doom (you know, that ‘important + urgent’, ‘important + non urgent’ thingy).

Keep track of what you’re doing if you find it helps you. There are good apps for this, or you can use a nice journal or an Excel sheet. Track whatever you want - minutes of study, words learned, tasks accomplished...a favourite of mine is ‘a time logger’, which can track your entire day. When I was in uni, it made me realize I was working a lot more than I thought, and reaching daily goals kept me motivated.

Rethink your internet consumption, especially news, TV shows and social media. Try having periods where you go off-screen whenever you need a break. Stuff like, ‘no TV before 6 pm’ or ‘no tumblr on weekdays’ can automatically make you a lot less stressed and a lot more productive.

You can also decide to modify the way you engage with these things. For instance, if your studies involve a language, you could watch only TV shows in [language], or turn on [language] subtitles, or you could switch to Buzzfeed [country]. If you like IG, pinterest or tumblr, try having a separate ‘weekday’ account which is about healthy escapism and/or accountability: landscapes and poetry instead of fandom content, or a personal blog about your day - use the right tags and connect with others who’re going through the same thing.

Imagine you’re teaching someone. I’m guessing you’re passionate about your subject, so turn your study sessions into imaginary conversations. Teaching a lesson (or making a speech) is often the best way to see what you understand, what you need to work on, and what you’re interested in learning more about.

Websites like b-ok can help you find books about your subject (or not) - possibly stuff you’re not actually compelled to read, but which sounds interesting nonetheless. Broaden your horizon, discover different stuff, and sooner or later you’ll find yourself making connections between the exciting stuff you’re basically reading for fun and the actual subject you’re studying.

And: remember why you’re studying this. What are you passionate about? Why did you fall in love with your subject? Why are you studying it? Sometimes we have to endure a few boring classes to get to the good part, and that’s okay.

And finally: visualize the future. The world will get better, and at some point you’ll be glad you’ve spent a few (or many) hard and boring hours getting your degree. What are you going to do after this? Make a ‘future’ board, write a fake Wikipedia article about yourself, give a Nobel or graduation speech, give a pep talk to your (imaginary) future children about the hardships you faced on Zoom and how you overcame them to become the mom they know and love. Whatever works, no matter how ridiculous or narcissistic or far-fetched is a good thing!

I hope this helps! Remember to remain calm and positive, and talk to yourself as if you were talking to a child or a best friend. Less You suck and the world is going to end and more Yes, you didn’t do great today, but we can always do better tomorrow, it’s okay to have an off day! Uni is hard enough under any circumstances, and right now...do your best and resist the bait of dark thoughts: we will get through this, and everything will be alright. It’s how it works.

#ask #studying #students problems #life tips #life advice #motivation #anxiety #mental help #singing about the dark times #you can do this <3

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buckysbitch107 · 4 years

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Blobs and Shadows | Steve Rogers x Blind!Reader

Summary: It originally started out as just some fuzzy spots in your line of vision, but by the time you were 10, both of your retinas had completely detached. After multiple surgeries and piles of medical bills all before your 13th birthday, you stopped trying to fix it. You never had a friend who stuck with you the whole way, that is, until you met your best friend Clint. You were friends until he ran away to join the circus, but eventually reconnected at S.H.I.E.L.D. While Clint got married and settled his family down while also juggling this job, you simply stayed single. The fact that Steve hadn’t noticed your obvious infatuation with him, or your visual impairment, confused you. But when Bucky tries to set you two up, Steve voices his concerns, not noticing you standing right behind him.

Requested by: Anonymous (I lost the original request, so this is the best I could do!)

Warnings: Swearing, Sarcasm, Angst I Guess?

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I wanted to do extra research so I didn’t get anything wrong, and this was also just a challenging request in general. I focused on retinal detachment, specifically my cousin’s experiences (I’m aware every blind person is different, that’s why I simply focused on him.) I also did change Clint’s storyline a little bit, mainly saying that he was orphaned at the end of high school instead of earlier, and I did write Comic Clint. I made him younger to fit the storyline, and I based his hearing loss on one of my good friends, so not everything will be like the comics. I really hope you enjoy this one, and another one should be out soon. Just a reminder that I will be starting school again on August 18th, so the time it takes to write a fic will extend a little more. Also sorry for the song I use in this fic, I watched Rio last night and it’s stuck in my head.

You sit quietly in your fourth period English class, waiting for the teacher to introduce herself as they all did on the first day of school. A book sits open in front of you, your fingers running over the raised dots as you wait for the teacher to start, well, teaching. You hear other students file in, and soon enough, the teacher clears her throat and begins introducing herself.

“Hello, class! My name is Mrs. Luken, and welcome to 8th grade English. Now, my number one policy is that at all times, I need watching eyes and listening ears!” A look of confusion crosses your face, and you slowly raise your hand, not realizing you’re the only one doing so.

“Yes, Clint?” She asks, pointing to the other person in the room with their hand up. He lets out a loud sigh before responding, his speech slightly slurred.

“I’m deaf.” Mrs. Luken lets out a small “oh” as she tries to think of a response.

“Are there any accommodations you would like me to make?”

“Just annunciate and write things down and I should be good.”

“Got it! And yes, (Y/N)?”

“I’m blind.”

“Oh, dear.”

~~~

“May I sit here?” A voice asks, one you immediately recognize from fourth and fifth period. You nod and feel the table shift as someone sits down, the sound of a lunch tray clattering against the table ringing out amongst the chaos that is 6th-period lunch.

“How could you understand the teacher?” You ask, honestly curious about the exchange that happened earlier in the classroom.

“I can lip read pretty well, it’s also how I can understand you.”

“Huh. I’m (Y/N).”

“Clint.”

~~~

“Tony, what is this?” You question, rolling the unusual object around in your hand.

“(Y/N), meet Athena. Couldn’t come up with an acronym, so I just settled on a catchy name.” A small string of silence rings between the two of you as you continue feeling the object, now slightly recognizing it.

“Is this an upgraded guide? Does it still have F.R.I.D.A.Y in here? I like her.”

“Upgraded? Oh honey please, that doesn’t even begin to describe it! And yes, F.R.I.D.A.Y is still your guide. Go ahead, put it on!” You sigh before eventually complying, placing the small little earpiece in it’s designated place. A small beep signals that it’s on and something immediately seems different.

“What the? Why are the blobs clearer?” Tony lets out a short laugh as you still stand there in confusion, wondering how in the hell your “vision” cleared up a bit and you can see the tiniest fragment of anything other than shades of gray.

“Athena is emitting a high-tech neuro frequency towards your retinas. It can’t repair them yet, but it provides a little bit of aid.”

“Is this what Instagram filters look like?”

~~~

“Athena, help me out here. I need to get to the kitchen.” You whisper, stepping out of your room, completely alone with her for the first time.

“Of course!” She replies, pausing for a second before continuing. “Go ahead and take about 10 steps to your right. You’ll feel the floor tiles shift from carpet to a smoother texture. Once you do, take another right and you’ll be standing in front of the elevator.” You nod to no one but yourself and follow her instructions, walking confidently to be in front of the elevator. You hear the doors slide open and you step in, the doors closing behind you before the lift begins to move on its own. “ Don’t worry.” Athena reassures, most likely feeling your heart rate shift. “I communicate with the building’s mainframe to make mobility and everyday life easier for you.”

“Got it.” The elevator stops and you step out, the light from the windows brightening up your vision. Athena guides you to the counter, allowing you to grab an apple and a knife before you begin to carefully cut it. The familiar beep rings in your ear, and you listen for whatever Athena has to say.

“James Barnes is entering the kitchen and dining area from the main elevator.”

“Okay thank you.” You whisper to her, receiving a small beep in response before you lift your head and turn it so you’re not shouting into a cabinet. “Hey Buck! Want an apple?”

“Um sure? I didn’t know you heard me come in.”

“Tony gave me a new guide. Name’s Athena.”

“Oh cool. Also, I’m gonna have to cancel our sparring session today. Sam’s taking me and Steve to the new sushi place downtown.” Your cheeks immediately flare up at the mention of America’s Golden Boy, also the man you’ve had an infatuation with since you got here. Bucky notices and laughs, quickly shutting up as you hit him on the arm before retorting an answer.

“Are you sure about that? Or do you just not want to get your ass kicked by a blind girl?”

“A little bit of both.” He admits, taking a slice of apple off the cutting board. You turn your head to glare at him, his body creating a large shadow in your viewpoint.

“Thought you didn’t want an apple.”

“I didn’t. I just wanted one piece.” You roll your eyes as you finish cutting your snack, taking a bite out of the delicious fruit after setting the knife down. “Also when are you going to tell him?” You nearly choke on your bite, calmly swallowing before turning your head to face the man, or at least you think (You really couldn’t tell if you tried).

“Tell who what?”

“We’re not dumb, (Y/N). Well, I’m not. I honestly don’t know about Steve ‘cause he hasn’t noticed your obsess-”

“It’s not really a-”

“It’s an obsession (Y/N). Don’t even try to deny it.” You huff out a sigh before Bucky lets out a short gasp, immediately drawing your attention.

“What?” You can’t see him, but you can practically sense the grin on his face.

“I have an idea.”

“I’m scared.”

“You have reason to be,” Athena comments, making you giggle to yourself. Bucky somehow hears it, as he lets out a loud sigh before explaining his plan.

“Just wear something nice, okay. And meet me in the living room at-” He pauses, thinking of an appropriate time. “7 pm, got it?”

“Sure, and what’s your definition of nice?”

“Not a ballgown, but good enough for a date.”

“Bucky no, you are not-”

“Yes I am, now go get ready.”

~~~

“Athena, who’s in the living room?” You ask, rubbing your sweaty palms on the edge of your skirt as you walk down the hallway, your feet making a small pitter-patter noise on the tile.

“James Barnes and Steven Rogers.” You let out a small sigh before walking further down the hall, just barely entering the room when you hear the two men arguing, causing you to take a step back into the shadows.

“Where are they?” You whisper, holding your arms to your body and trying to make yourself as small possible.

“Standing in the middle of the room. Mr. Barnes is facing you, and Mr. Rogers is facing away from you.” You nod and peek out from behind the wall, Athena alerting you that Bucky had noticed you, but Steve hadn’t.

“I don’t get why you’re getting upset Steve! You like (Y/N), don’t you?!” Bucky yells, trying not to keep his eyes on you for too long as to not alert Steve of your presence.

“I do, but you know that I don’t date anyone!”

“You told me she was different!”

“She is! And I don’t know if it’s in a good way. She seems to kind of, I don’t know, look past me? And she does these little things that I don’t know if it was how she was raised or something, like stopping before entering a room, or staring in the completely wrong direction. I don’t get it, Buck! I don’t! And even if she is different, I still don’t date! She’ll be like the rest. She’ll see me like this famous piece of muscle, not the small guy from Brooklyn. Thanks for the offer, but I’m declining. Tell (Y/N) I said sorry.” Steve rants, walking out the other entrance to the living room as you start to step forward.

“(Y/N), I-”

“This is why I didn’t tell him.” You whisper, stopping in front of him when Athena tells you to. Bucky tries to speak again, possibly apologize, but you’ve already turned around and started heading out of the room. Athena leads you to your favorite spot in the building, the balcony facing the river. You carefully climb on the railing and sit, balancing yourself as not to fall, but still feeling nearly weightless in the evening breeze.

“James Barnes is walking onto the balcony.” You sigh before turning your head, hearing the other man gulp before eventually walking closer.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that.” He whispers, receiving a short grunt from you. Bucky places something on the railing, the sound of crinkling paper piquing your interest. “I brought you some bread, its fresh from the oven. I know that carbs comfort you so…”

“Thanks Buck.” You sigh, taking a piece of bread from his hands and holding it in your own. He steps a little closer, resting his arms against the metal railing, standing next to you as the light slowly fades from the sky.

“I’m gonna go, I know you like being alone so-”

“Thank you.” You whisper, turning your head towards the last place you heard his voice. He leaves the bread with you before heading back inside. You listen to the crickets starting to chirp, but also the sound of New York City starting to come alive.“Hey Athena?”

“Yes (Y/N)?”

“What was that song I was singing yesterday? The very offkey one?”

“You’ll have to be more specific.” You mutter a short “ouch” before racking your brain again, trying to specify what you wanted.

“From that movie. Rio, I think.”

“I believe the one you are looking for is ‘Fly Love’ by Jamie Foxx.”

“Yes, can you play it on the speakers out here?”

“Of course. Anything else?”

“You can turn off for a bit, I just want to listen to music and eat the delicious demons they call carbs.”

“Understood.” A small beep signals the AI turning off, leaving you to the sounds of the city before the music softly turns on. You start humming along to the melody, your feet swaying along. You begin to sing along, not noticing the sliding glass door opening quietly behind you. Since you told Athena she could turn off, you’re not aware of the blonde supersoldier stepping onto the balcony.

“Um, (Y/N)?” You screech in surprise, your hands grabbing onto the railing. Your body slightly tilts forward, causing your bread to tumble off your lap and down onto the ground below.

“My bread.” You whine, staring at the direction you think it went. You feel Steve move up to stand beside you and you turn your head towards where you feel his presence.

“Sorry about that. Listen-”

“Look at my eyes.”

“What?”

“Look at my eyes and tell me what you see.” You explain, turning your head fully towards him so he could see your face. He stays quiet for a few seconds before responding.

“Your eyes are glazed over?”

“And what does that mean?” He stays silent before gasping, realization hitting his brain like a bullet.

“You’re blind?!” He exclaims, making you roll your eyes.

“Wow! Sherlock finally solved the fucking mystery!” You speak, a horrible British accent coming out alongside the words.

“Wait so-”

“So I can’t see the ‘famous piece of muscle’. All I see is a blob. A very handsome blob, I’ll give you that, but still a blob. I fell in love with you for your personality. I fell in love with that little guy from Brooklyn. And the reason I seem to look past you or stare in the wrong direction, is because I rely on hearing, dumbass.”

“You heard all that?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh.” He pauses. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head. “Wait, you love me?”

“What?”

“You said you fell in love with me for my personality.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Yes you did! You love me!”

“Not anymore I don’t.” He fakes a hurt gasp and you laugh, flipping your legs over to rest on the balcony side of the railing.

“What if I said your love is requited?”

“Then I’d be so overjoyed I’d faint.”

“Okay, so I’m not telling you that.” You laugh again, Steve joining you this time. “Dance with me.”

“What?”

“You were listening to music. Dance with me.”

“I don’t know how to dance. The last time I could see while dancing was square-dancing in fifth grade.” Steve lets out a short laugh at that, before carefully grabbing your hands, placing one on his shoulder, and holding the other in his.

“I’ll guide you.” So the two of you sway to the music, Steve having the speaker play the song over. You rest your head on his shoulder, the whole situation quite calming. As the song ends, Steve places one of his hands on your cheek, the other going to sit behind your neck. “Is this okay with you?” He whispers, his voice severely closer than it was last time he spoke.

“Yeah.” You reply, nearly feeling lightheaded from imagining what’s to happen next. Steve presses his lips to yours, and you nearly faint right there. He smiles into the kiss, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours.

“I love you. A lot.” He whispers, a short chuckle following his sentence.

“I love you too, even if you are just an attractive blob.”

Permanent Tags: @wintersoldierslut @breakmy-bedbarnes@stuckys-hot-dogs @andreasworlsboring101@yaxamarvel @donutloverxo

Just a reminder that all requests are open! My masterlist is in my bio, so you guys know who I specialize in, but really I do anyone y’all request. As I’ve mentioned, nothing is too fluffy, angsty, smutty, or gorey for me. I mainly write Marvel and its characters/actors. I can also write some characters from other things, you just have to ask! Also please let me know if you want to be a part of the Permanent Tags! But please, for now,

Call me Emily

#Steve Rogers #Steven Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot #captain america #Marvel Captain America #captain america fic #captain america one shot #captain america x reader #marvel #Marvel Comics #captain america imagine #comics #angst #fluff

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triptuckers · 5 years

Text

Nicknames - Tom Holland

Request: No Pairing: Tom Holland x reader Summary: A number of times you and Tom call each other nicknames :) Warnings: A ridiculous amount of fluff but that’s all Word count: 2K A/N: I got this idea a couple days ago and my heart literally melted, wow. I hope I wrote it kind of like that :) This is written in a similar format as the Harvard Hoodie Shawn Mendes x reader and the She Does Care Rosa Diaz x reader. Reader is an actress!! One last thing; I wrote this before Tom got his haircut lol. I miss his curls already. As always, enjoy reading!!

Tom calls you “Darlin’” for the first time.

Your relationship with Tom is still fairly new. You met because you’re both starring in the same movie. Tom’s role was a bit bigger than yours, given that he is more famous than you are. You’re a very talented actress but have yet to break through.

Despite not having the biggest role, you give your everything each day. You’ve learned if you work hard, it’s all worth it. Most of the days, you waited for Tom to finish filming his scenes so you could go home together. Since Tom’s place was closer by, you’d end up at his apartment nearly 6 days a week.

Today is another day you’re waiting for Tom. You’ve had to film the same scene over and over again. The director just wasn’t satisfied and kept changing details. It was exhausting, really. Right after, you made your way over to Tom’s trailer to crash on his couch and you haven’t moved since.

You wake up when you hear the sound of the door opening. Someone enters the trailer but suddenly stops walking. You slowly open one of your eyes and see it’s Tom. He looks tired, with messy hair and the sweater he’s wearing. He smiles when he sees you’re awake.

‘Hey.’ he says softly. You smile at him as he walks over to the couch. He lifts you a bit before laying down as well, pulling you in his arms. You smile even brighter and cuddle closer to him. ‘Sorry I woke you.’ he whispers and he kisses your forehead. ‘S okay.’ you say softly, your voice barely louder than a whisper as you feel sleep getting to you again. You close your eyes and bury your face in Tom’s neck.

‘You worked hard today. Get some sleep, darlin’.’ says Tom. You open your eyes and lift your head to look up to him. ‘What’d you say?’ you ask sleepily. Tom gives you a confused look. ‘Darlin?’ he says. You smile and kiss his jaw. ‘I like when you call me that.’ you say and Tom chuckles. ‘Well, darlin’, like I said, go get some sleep. You deserve it.’ says Tom. You bury your face back in his neck as Tom wraps his arms closer around you. The smile is still on your face as sleep gets to you again and you drift off.

You call him “Tommy” for the first time

It’s early, but the sun’s up already. You let your eyes get used to the light as you look around the room. A soft snoring gets your attention. You turn your head and see Tom. His eyes are closed, and his hair is messy. One of his arms is still loosely swung across your stomach. You smile and move closer to him. You wrap your arm around him and lay your head on his chest.

Just as you’re about to fall asleep again, Tom starts to wake up. He lets out a sigh and he instinctively wraps his arm tighter around you. You let out a soft giggle and move your head to look at him. His hair is curlier than usual and you love it. You raise one of your hands to softly tangle your fingers in the curls.

Tom opens his eyes and look at you. The way he looks at you makes your heart melt. He has such a loving and soft look full of affection in his eyes. You smile at him and lean in to kiss him, one hand still playing with his hair. When you pull away, Tom rests his forehead against yours. ‘Morning.’ he says. His morning voice is a lot deeper than his usual voice. And yet again, you find yourself loving it. ‘Good morning.’ you whisper. Tom closes his eyes again. He sighs deeply again and buries his face in your neck.

You continue to play with his curls for several minutes. After a while, soft snores are heard, coming from Tom. You hum approvingly as you hold the sleeping man in your arms. You don’t know how much time has passed when he wakes up again. The snores stop and he kisses the skin on your neck. He mumbles something against your skin you can’t hear.

You chuckle and try to get Tom to look at you, but he refuses to remove his head from the comfortable spot in your neck. ‘What’d you say?’ you ask him. He mumbles again. ‘Can’t hear you.’ you say. Tom finally removes his face from your neck and looks at you. ‘Why are you playing with my hair?’ he asks. ‘Because it looks cute in the morning. Fluffier, a little messy, and not to mention those adorable curls.’ you say. Tom rolls his eyes. ‘It’s not cute, it’s a mess.’ he says. ‘Hmm I still love it.’ you hum and you twist even more of his curls around your fingers.

‘Stop.’ mumbles Tom. ‘Why? It’s so relaxing, and your hair is so fluffy.’ you say and you giggle softly. ‘You’re making it greasy.’ says Tom and you laugh. ‘That’s the reason you don’t want me to play with your hair?’ you laugh again. ‘Because I’m making it greasy?’

‘Yeah and I don’t feel like washing it now.’ says Tom and you laugh yet again. You press a kiss to his nose. ‘What if I would want to join you for that shower?’ you say teasingly. Tom shakes his head. ‘Nu-uh. If you make my hair greasy, you can’t join me.’ he says and you pout. Tom grabs your wrist and tries to remove your hands from his hair. As a response, you only tangle your fingers deeper into the curls.

Tom lets go of your wrists. For a moment, you think he gave up. But then his fingers attack your sides. Tom knows very well that you’re ticklish, and he is not afraid to use it against you. You burst out in laughter and try to push his hands away from you, but he is stronger. ‘Tom! Stop! Come on, stop! Tom!’ you yell in between laughter. Of course, Tom doesn’t stop. He grins as he continues to tickle you. ‘That’s what you get, darlin’.’ he says smiling. ‘Tom! Stop, Tommy, stop!’ you say. Surprisingly, he stops tickling you. He looks at you with eyes slightly widened, and his lips are parted. ‘What did you call me?’ he asks you softly. You swallow hard. Harrison is the only one who occasionally calls him Tommy. You always thought it sounded adorable, but you thought that nickname belonged to his best friend.

‘What did you call me?’ asks Tom again. ‘Uh, Tommy.’ you say softly. Tom smiles and leans in to kiss you. When he pulls back, he lets his lips brush against yours. ‘That sounds so fucking good when you say it darlin’.’ he whispers and he kisses you again. ‘Are you still going to take that shower to wash your hair? If yes, I would like to join you, Tommy. If you will let me, of course.’ you say teasingly. ‘Fuck, baby, you know how to get anything out of me.’ says Tom and he gets up and pulls you to the bathroom with him.

Tom calls you “little one” for the first time.

Another cramp kicks in and you groan. You don’t want to leave the comfort of the bed but nevertheless you throw the blankets off of you and get up. You really are jealous of women who don’t feel any pain when they’re on their period. As a little girl, you obviously knew you could get painful cramps on your period. But it wasn’t until you got your period for the first time that you understood how painful they could be.

When you were on your period, you would usually just lay in bed all day, unable to do anything else. You hated it. Some girls could just pop some painkillers and get on with the day, but not you. Even after you took some painkillers, the cramps could still be felt.

You walk to the kitchen to get some painkillers, hoping they will take away some of the pain. Your footsteps echo through the house. Tom is out having lunch with some of his friends. He asked you to come as well, but you thought it would be nice for him to be with his fellow cast members. And also, you knew you would be on your period. You didn’t want to be the moody one surrounded by happy and energetic people.

You stand on your toes as you try to reach the upper cabinet in the kitchen. You sigh annoyingly as you stretch your arm as high as you can. You’re still trying to get the painkillers when you hear the door to your apartment opening and closing. Footsteps approach and you turn to see Tom looking at you. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter with a smirk on his face.

‘Need help, little one?’ he says. ‘Little one, my ass.’ you say with an annoyed voice. ‘You’re only a few centimeters taller than me, Holland.’ ‘I was kidding.’ says Tom. He walks up to you, stands on his toes and gets your painkillers. ‘Sorry.’ you say. ‘That wasn’t nice. You know I get moody when I’m on my period.’ Tom kisses your forehead. ‘S okay, I get it.’ he says. He turns around to leave the kitchen. ‘By the way, I am keeping that nickname. I like it.’ he says over his shoulder. You chuckle and roll your eyes before finally taking a few painkillers.

You call yourself “Holland”, instead of your own last name.

You keep wandering around the apartment, looking for anything that could take your mind off your phone. A couple weeks ago, you had auditioned for a big role in a movie. The director was one of the best and most famous ones and on the day of the audition you had been a nervous wreck. But you realize it is nothing compared to the state you are in right now.

The director can call you any moment now, telling you whether you got the role or not. Given that this could be the break trough of your career, the word “nervousness” is an understatement.

Tom had been watching you all day. He listened to you as you rant about it all and think out loud. He didn’t say much, just occasionally a “yes” or a hum, or a nod of the head. He knew better than to try to reason with you. It would be best if he just let you be in your own world.

You play with the engagement ringer around your finger. It has become a habit of yours to do when you’re nervous. Around 4 pm, your phone rings. You answer it in mere seconds. Tom watches you as you’re on the phone. He doesn’t get what the other person is saying, but as you keep talking your face lights up and you smile brightly. Tom looks at you as you say goodbye and hang up the phone.

‘Well?’ he says. ‘What did he say?’ You smile gets even bigger as you nod happily. ‘I got the part!’ you say excitedly. ‘I knew it!’ says Tom. You laugh as he hugs you tightly and spins you around. ‘I am so proud of you.’ says Tom and he leans in to kiss you. ‘Well, I’ll better tell the world to get ready because Y/N Holland is going to take over the world with her new movie!’ you say happily.

Tom’s jaw drops slightly as he looks at you. ‘What did you just say?’ he says. ‘Uh, I’m going to take over the world with my new movie?’ you say confused. Tom shakes his head. ‘No, before that. What did you say?’ he says. ‘Y/N Holland?’ you say questionably. Tom’s face softens as he looks at you. ‘You want to take my name?’ he says. ‘Well, yeah? Unless you don’t want to, of course, I mean I could always-‘ Tom cuts you off by pulling you in for a kiss. ‘I am going to be the luckiest husband in the world.’ he says and you smile. ‘I love you.’ whispers Tom. ‘I love you too.’ you say softly.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Jo

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fic #tom holland blurb #tom holland one shot #tom holland fluff #carliehansonwya

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marvinswriting · 4 years

Text

tiny swap part one: damian and aaron

"This is stupid." Janis huffed. "I don't wanna go with Gretchen."

"Hey!"

Damian laughed at the girl in his hands. "It's only for a week. Besides, we all have pretty similar schedules. I'll be there."

"Who am I supposed to talk to while I'm in art?"

"Uh, Gretchen?"

Janis shook her head. "It's not the same."

Damian clicked his tongue. "Just don't be too reckless okay? No jumping off tables or climbing on arms. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Nu-uh. If I have to be miserable, I'll make it fun."

"Janis."

"Yes?"

Damian gave her a pointed look and the artist caved. "Fine. No fun. Totally boring week. Got it."

"That's not what I said."

"Sure sounds like it."

"Are you guys ready?" Karen called out. Each tiny and their giant were talking a bit before a swap. Damian wanted to laugh at how dramatic this whole 'event' was being made out to be. They're still gonna see each other. He'll just be holding Aaron in the halls and making sure Aaron doesn't dive of tables. Not that Aaron would do that.

"Yeah," Cady said, Aaron gave a thumbs up.

Regina mumbled something and Gretchen just shook her head with a smile. "We're all good."

"Same here." Damian pulled Janis close to his chest as everyone met in the center of the empty classroom.

"It's Monday, seven am, before the official school day." Karen reminded them. "You will all be 'swapping'." She did air quotes. "The giants are in charge of making sure their new tiny gets to everywhere they need to be safely, whether that's around school or rides to and from school. Tinies need to make sure not to drive their temporary giant insane."

Janis laughed nervously as Karen pointed to her.

"This is mainly so Damian and Gretchen will stop arguing over who has more bullshit to deal with."

"Hey! Wait a second-" Regina made a noise of offense.

"Everyone will swap back, Friday at lunch." Karen continues. "Obviously if something bad happens, we can switch back, but let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Damian nodded. There have been plenty of times where Janis would get so worked up over something and only Damian could calm her down. It comes with being friends with her for so long. He knew Gretchen and Regina were the same.

But let's hope it doesn't come to that.

"Everything clear?" Karen asked. After receiving a chorus of 'yeahs' she grinned. "Then lets swap!"

Monday, 7:10 AM

Damian walked down the hall, Gretchen to his left and Cady and Karen on his right.

Aaron sat closest to Cady and talked with her, Regina, and Karen.

"So, Janis." He grinned to her girl on Gretchen's shoulder.

The artist crossed her arms. "Sorry, I don't talk to traitors."

"Okay, Jan." Damian rolled his eyes at his best friend's antics.

She blew a raspberry in retaliation.

She'll get over it in ten minutes.

The group made their way to period one. A class they all had together.

Gretchen sat in the front row with Cady behind her and Karen next to her, while Damian sat a couple of rows back. Typically Janis would be with him, probably trying not to fall asleep and it was easier to hide her from the teacher form the back of the classroom.

But not this time.

"Bye, you guys!" Damian said, waving to the group.

Aaron threw up a peace sign as everyone sat down.

Damian watched as Janis let Gretchen place her on the table instead of slipping down herself. He smiled to himself knowing Janis was paying attention to what he said at least a little bit.

Monday, 2 pm

"You sure?" Damian asked.

"Yeah, I take the tiny bus all the time." Aaron said waving his hand.

They stood at the tiny pick up zone.

"We both know Cady isn't the best driver. I just take the bus to and from school, it's no biggie."

Damian grinned. "Do I even want to tell Cady you said that?"

"Oh, she knows."

"Alright then. Get home safe Aaron."

Tuesday, 12 pm

"Lunchtime!" Regina cheered as Damian sat down, lowering Aaron to the table.

"So," Karen grinned. "Everyone is here. Who's been dropped yet?"

"Almost." Janis wiggled her eyebrows.

"It was her fault!" Gretchen raised her hands in defense.

"I believe it." Damian teased. "Just be glad you only have her for a week."

"You love me." Janis huffed.

"I do." Damian agreed.

Aaron walked over, sitting next to Janis and Regina.

It was during lunch when things felt normal. Janis and Regina would bicker, everyone would ignore them until Regina threatened violence and shoving people off tables. Gretchen and Karen would carry the conversation for the most part, while Cady, Aaron, and Damian join in whenever.

"It sucks not to be able to just-" Janis made vague motions with her hands. "Take a nap whenever! I'm so fucking tired all the time."

Damian laughed. "Miss me?"

"Just your jacket."

Wednesday, 8:56 am

"Damian."

The boy looked up from his classwork. Aaron was sneakily texting on his phone.

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna stay after today, do you think you could give me a ride home? I might not be done before the tiny bus, it's unclear."

"Of course." Damian nodded. "What are you staying after for?"

"English afterschool help."

Well, Damian knew what that meant.

Wednesday, 3:15

"They haven't had any of their secret rant meeting in months," Cady said, standing at the tiny pick up zone. "Do you know how crazy we must be driving them for them want to have English help again?"

Damian laughed. "Speak for yourself, I'm having a great time with Aaron. He doesn't jump off my shoulder while I'm walking."

"Janis is a nightmare," Gretchen said, sipping coffee at three pm.

"Damian tried telling you." Karen points out.

"I'm gonna be so grateful to get Regina back. She can yell at me for a month and I won't complain oh my god."

Damian laughed. Yeah, he was nervous with the idea of Gretchen carrying Janis around. It wasn't a big secret that Gretchen wasn't the best at not dropping tinies. Add that onto Janis's overall reckless behavior and somebody's gonna get hurt.

Probably Janis.

"I will say though," Gretchen pauses to sip her coffee. "She isn't nearly as bad to me. Like yeah, Janis has no regard for her safety, but it's clear she doesn't trust me as she trusts you. For good reason, too."

Damian smiled softly. "For still seeing Janis all the time, I'm sure miss her a lot this week."

"I don't." Gretchen sighs. "You got the easy tiny, Damian."

"Yeah," Cady nods. "Regina is a nightmare. She's no Janis but I'm so used to Aaron that this is wild."

Karen laughs. "I have to deal with them whenever one of you is sick from school."

"A true wildcard." Cady grins.

"If this week is teaching me anything, its to respect Karen a hell lot more." Gretchen said.

Thursday, 12 pm

"I would like to take a moment to point out that Gretchen hasn't dropped me yet." Janis says from her perch on Damian's shoulder. The gang agreed lunchtime could be a free pass since the tinies typically sat with anyone regardless of whos giant was whos anyway.

So naturally, Janis didn't hesitate to scale Damian's arm.

Just when he was starting to get used to this whole, not having a reckless tiny thing.

"Thank you, Gretchen." He laughed.

"It's not easy." She grumbled.

"Trust me, he knows." Janis grinned, leaning into Damian's neck.

"I would like to say right here right now that Aaron no longer gets tiny support group rights. Cady's an angel." Regina said from her spot at the table, leaning against Karen's water bottle.

"If we're playing that game, Damian isn't half bad when you aren't jumping off high points every thirty seconds," Aaron said from his vantage point in Cady's shoulder.

"That's just because he's with you," Janis said shaking her head. "Damian would worry if I was in his pocket all day."

"It's true, I won't deny it," Damian said with a grin.

"But I also think maybe Regina is more reckless than we thought. Because Gretchen drops her a lot more than she drops me." Janis said.

Thursday, 5 pm

"The final day is tomorrow." Damian said, Aaron's face filling his phone screen.

"Yeah. This week wasn't bad, actually. For any of the tinies. I though Janis would go through it, but we all had fun."

Damian would never get over how tinies sounded on call or camera. Their voices were louder, more clear. And slightly lower.

Aaron was no exception.

Wild.

"It was nice to have a tiny who wasn't trying to jump off me at all times."

Aaron laughed. "I do try and prioritize health."

Damian smiled. "Seriously, thank you, for making this week easy. I have a hunch Janis wasn't on her best behavior, intentionally."

Aaron just laughed. "You know Janis. Did you ask Cady how Regina's been? When I asked Regina she told me to mind my own business."

Damian shook his head. "Cady had been oddly quiet about her experience. Gretchen and I won't shut up and she just sits there. I hope everything went okay for them."

Friday, 12 pm

Damian weaved his way through the halls, heading to the cafeteria with Aaron on his shoulder.

"You excited to be with Cady again?" He asked.

"You and Cady aren't too different, Damian," Aaron says. "This week wasn't a drastic change. I had fun."

"I did too." Damian smiled, entering the cafeteria.

There was an excited buzz in the room-

-and a crowd around their lunch table.

"Oh, that's not good." Damian pushes passed people, mindful of the tiny friend on his shoulder.

He reached the center of the crowd as gasped filled the cafeteria.

Everyone fell silent.

well shit @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt @sourishlemons

#g/t mean girls #tss #tiny aaron #giant damian #ft #tiny janis #tiny regina #giant gretchen #giant cady #giant karen

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alchemist-shizun · 4 years

Text

Anyway I just want to say

It's deplorable how the true colors of my teachers came out in this pandemic.

Like they literally don't care about your mental health and they never will! They only care about getting the right amount of marks and about how ridiculous the final exam will be this year, like it's so important

None of them made things easier for us, especially tests, they lowered all of our marks because "what if you were cheating", they gave us marks when it was established that it was not pertinent to grade people online, they exaggerated with oral and written tests making us do them EVEN in the afternoon, taking away most of our studying time because afternoon tests would take place at 3 or even 4 pm and last an hour

I had issues and a teacher reached out but only cared for about 3 days, never checked on me again, I was trying to get better but I obviously spiraled back into the problem and obviously since he didn't check on me again I kept on my counterproductive behavior

I felt sick today so I'm skipping this morning's classes and I've been told by my friends that he's "concerned about a work we have to do for the exam" instead. Like thank you for the nonexistent get well soon wishes.

Honestly I can't wait to do this exam and finally exit this hs and NEVER come back, this last school period was the worst I've ever experienced in my entire life.

I wish there was some more mental health awareness in school. So much more, like teachers encouraging people to go to therapy, giving students information so they can make personal reflections and realize they should get diagnosed, just generally helping all of us that seem to struggle and don't know why.

Like for fuck's sake, did I have to realize I could have ADHD by finding out a bazillion of posts on Tumblr that I relate to a lot?

Why do I understand and learn so much more about mental illnesses on social media rather than in a place where I should be educated for a good part of my life?

Why did school never give me the sensitivity, the awareness and the acceptance I wouldn't have found by myself otherwise?

Yeah sorry about this rant I'm just tired to deal with this type of people anymore and then my thoughts spiraled

#long post #purp pls stop #coronavirus #school #mental illness #swearing tw #illness tw #ventish

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