He was as magical as he was sad, that boy. I saw him, clinging to that bottle for dear life, and drinking from it, as if he could drown every burden and all his pain in the burning sensation of the liquid going down his throat and into his stomach, sending him into a blissful state of forgetfulness and numbness.
But I saw it. I saw it, deep into his eyes as he held my wrists and locked his eyes with mine. I saw the sadness and the loneliness he tried so hard to hide. And it was so heartbreaking. He was so young. No one that age should be allowed to feel such sorrow.
However, in that moment, in which he looked at me and time stopped, I realized that he was the spitting image of me when I was his age. Drunk, confused, lonely, and so, so lost. I felt such a strong urge to hold him in my arms and let him cry his pain away until he felt whole again.
He had to leave, though. And, although he left the house that day, he hasn't left my mind since. Something in those big, melancholic eyes told me that I've got to offer him what nobody offered me: a hand to reach out to and a shoulder to cry on. I've got to offer him company, even at the bottom of the pit. Keep him company, be it in heaven, be it in hell.
I have got to help him heal his wounds until they become scars, and then I've got to teach him to love them.
I've got to be, to that boy, what I wish I'd had the most. I've got to be the someone who he knows will always be there for him, no matter who he is or how broken he is.
The drunken boy, gripping that goddamn bottle, his knuckles white, told me all of that, just staring into my eyes. It was just for a moment, but it was enough for me to see. Enough for me to recognize him as someone who once had been me.
(excluding Neil's choices) what do you think would have to happen, or what do you think it would take for Meeks to go on a bender with the explicit intent of getting blackout drunk?
That is SUCH an interesting question, and it’s incredibly ironic that the first thing that popped into my head was The Day The Music Died lmao??
Honestly, when it comes to the Poets drinking for fun in general, I can see them being somewhat evenly split on “the usual suspects” (those who usually drink for fun) and the ones who get a kick out of watching their friends being idiots. I feel like Meeks (and Pitts too honestly) would usually fall under the latter option but they’ll indulge now and again with them because it’s fun
(or, alternatively, Meeks is like one of my friends and has a “once a year” policy that someone Charlie widdled down to “once twice a semester”, because it’s hilarious to see Meeks drunk and it’s an enjoyable enough feeling for him)
But blackout drunk? That’s tough. With the other Poets, I think I can safely say “Todd’s more a lay-down-and-be-numb-to-the-world type of guy like me” or “I can definitely see Charlie, Neil, Knox, and even Pitts trying to get blackout to wash away their feelings.”
Meeks seems pretty in tune with his feelings from what I’ve gathered? He doesn’t hide from it or others, as we’ve seen with his grieving. So he’s very emotionally intelligent as well as practically intelligent. I think if anything would make him want to get blackout drunk, it’s something he can’t talk about with anyone sober, something he can’t hide from but that he doesn’t want to necessarily confront.
I mean, it’s something I’ve seen with a friend of mine, to a certain extent. Like something just… happens that hits him especially hard, and it doesn’t really matter if the Poets would be understanding (because of course they would) — he has a hard enough time wrapping his head around it himself. And hey, pushing those ugly feelings down to chase a much more pleasant feeling that can take him out of that moment for a night sounds pretty nice
i drank too much today
and thought too much
and as the light slips away
into the darkness of the night
i find myself folding
on top and over myself
until i'm a jumbled mess
that used to be a person
The foretold abandonment of my inner circle child still clinging to your leg
My loneliness is an infection of your last kiss
A drug slid into my drink and all I can think is all the times you said you loved me
Like the last time, with your hands on my hips, my lips were chapped but you swore I still tasted like how I did in our first kiss fondled In your memories
Im singing Ella Fitzgerald
My tears slide, I weep over the deep wound of losing you
This pain feels eternal but if I’m lucky, I’ll black out and live presently with you
Maybe to a memory of us singing frank Sinatra
When we were high, when you loved me just right
I don’t drink but I’m guilty to an act of defiance
I’ll get drunk every night if it means I’m sleeping with you infinitely through every finite
my little rat brain reallllllly wants to write a series/project of dps oneshots all inspired by Noah Kahan’s album Stick Season but I just know I’ll never finish it. but then again....