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#lonliness
cozycoochie · 9 hours ago
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i HATE being ignored
when i was in high school i dated this guy for like years... all the way until undergrad and he would just randomly ignore me to cheat. he would stop talking to me for weeks. i would call him and text him and he would never respond. i would go on his social media page and he would just keep ignoring me and it sucked. i would feel sick and afraid and then he would randomly hit me up like nothing happened and would pop up at my place. it was awful.
when i was little i had hella siblings and i’m not very loud when i talk so i got drowned out a lot. even in adulthood sometimes i’m talking to people but i’m so softspoken that many times people don’t hear me. of course my parents ignore me they’ve always done that. today i was talking to my twin sister and i was so excited and she just was responding back to herself. being ignored makes me feel sick tbh. sometimes i get scared because i think the person is trying to secretly harm me if they know me well. other times i feel like the person is finding entertainment out of me reaching out trying to understand why they are ignoring me. 
sometimes i’m very afraid of people. i’m afraid that everyone will turn on me or that i trust people too often. sometimes i get exhausted thinking like this. i feel like many people don’t care about me and I want to get away from everything and everyone. 
this weekend was awful. i felt really sad and anxious and i keep dipping in and out of depression. i kept feeling like for most of my life i’ve been looking for love, nurturing and care from people since my parents didn’t do it. I felt scared. I felt like my inner child was terrified to realize that I didn’t receive these gifts as a child. i didn’t know these were gifts i thought they were rewards for if you did somethings right or made someone happy. 
tomorrow i figure out some health issues and i feel afraid in my head i keep telling myself i want my mom. i keep thinking about this situation with an old friend ignoring me and want to talk to my dad. i want someone to listen to me and give me that safety that everything is ok but i don’t even know what that feels like. i’ve never experienced that. i’ve nurtured myself through out my life with music and poetry and i just feel so tired now, like who is going to do it back ? 
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lioninsunheart · 9 hours ago
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“There must be different kinds of loneliness, or at least different degrees of loneliness, but the most terrifying loneliness is not experienced by everyone and can be understood by only a few. 
I compare the panic in this kind of loneliness to the dog we see running frantically down the road pursuing the family car. He is not really being left behind, for the family knows it is to return, but for that moment in his limited understanding, he is being left alone forever, and he has to run and run to survive. 
It is no wonder that we make terrible choices in our lives to avoid loneliness.”
― Charles M. Schulz, You Don't Look 35, Charlie Brown!-
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scheffelella · 10 hours ago
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I have PTSD, since you guys didn’t know...
...I guess you can tell i’ve been through some breakups, which were traumatic on their own, adding to my already ill condition.  I have really hard days, because I hate them, but I miss them too.
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laini-caine · 11 hours ago
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[Today] Smile
Isn’t it great when you can’t remember what it feels like to smile but you can still make others smile? There’s no better satisfaction than giving someone else satisfaction when you’ve forgotten how it feels. At least you can fake it so that they don’t have to forget too. They can smile and laugh and be happy, despite the emotions you feel. Despite you being dead inside.
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laini-caine · 11 hours ago
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[Today] Pulse of pain
How come the pain feels so bad… I swear it feels loud enough to wake the whole world but in reality no one heard a sound? Sometimes I honestly expect people to realize when I’m in pain. The pain is so large. So big. So loud in my mind. But no one hears. No one knows. Everyone needs to be told. Needs you to ask them for help. There’s no shame in it but still it feels shameful. It fills like your…
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laini-caine · 11 hours ago
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[Today] painful
Here’s something that’s painful… When the people who talked to you about your depression… They start having a good life. Getting married. Having children. You can never talk to them again in the same way. You don’t want your darkness to affect their light. And so you’re left alone again. Wanting to be their friend still but not being to connect in the same way. And it’s no fault of either…
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laini-caine · 12 hours ago
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[Today] Headspace
There’s a Headspace you get into when you’re high. I’m there. I mixed some medication with alcohol and planned my time to lose my shit. I’ve already told my boss, via message, that I may not be 8n woke tomorrow. So I can loss it comfortably. And if I die one day from mixing things, no one will realize for a while so I can die in peace. I can’t finally have my second best dream. Besides finding…
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laini-caine · 14 hours ago
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[Today] Quietest
Here’s something that you can learn from me. I said many times on this blog that my only hope is that exposing my self like this constantly, can help someone somewhere else in the world. After my last post I’m feeling the depression coming on. I want everyone here, who knows someone with depression or anxiety, to know this. It’s when we are the quietest that the depression is the worst. It…
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laini-caine · 18 hours ago
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[Today] The Head Hug
Isn’t there just something deeply, psychologically satisfying about when a guy hugs you and cups the back of your head? Especially when he’s taller and can cup the top of it rather than the lower part. Automatically, that says something to me. To my insides. I wouldn’t know how it actually feels because I’ve never had anyone do that to me. It just looks divine though. To me that kind of hug means…
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iiwannttskinyy · a day ago
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i hate not having irl friends it’s literally so hot outside and everyone’s out having fun etch while i’m here with a mf jacket alone drinking a 40kcal drink with no friends and i have school tomorrow , i didn’t even have fun . hate my life sm
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neverlandeyes53 · a day ago
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Why do you keep me close enough to love you but far enough to let me go?
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mrs-storm-andrews · a day ago
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The amount of self descipline it takes to keep me from texting you is absurd. -Jack Ray
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Loneliness- Tips for combatting isolation
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This last year has been very difficult. We’ve had our world turned upside down by Covid 19. I can imagine quite a few of us have struggled with enforced isolation. We’re creatures of habit so it’s been extremely hard to adjust. While we might be seeing light at the end of the tunnel, that tunnel is long. There are lots of ways to deal with loneliness and isolation so here are some ideas courtesy of the HSE that might help deal with any loneliness you may be feeling
Get busy
Keeping yourself busy is a very effective way of dealing with loneliness.
If you're bored or can't find a job, volunteer with an organisation you care about or an event you might be interested in. Feeling needed and useful is important sometimes. I have volunteered these last two years and it’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve done. Really grounds you, but you get great mental satisfaction from it too.
Know you're not alone
Feeling lonely doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. For example, leaving secondary school or college to do something new, can be a scary time for everyone.Being unemployed is also stressful. Life feels very different and the future is uncertain. You wonder if you’ll ever get a job again. Remember that everyone goes through lonely periods in life.
Boost your self-esteem
A lack of confidence can hold you back in social situations. Meeting new people can be stressful when you don't feel good about yourself. Think of one thing about yourself that others admire, and build on that.
Explore your interests
Taking up a hobby you've always wanted to get into can help you fight loneliness and isolation.If you're on your own in a new place, a hobby can be a great way of meeting new people and making new friends.If you're feeling lonely for no obvious reason, taking up an evening class or sport can help take your mind off it.
Enjoy your own company
This might feel strange at first if you're used to being around other people. But, spending time alone can be liberating.
The freedom to be alone with your thoughts can be a great way of winding down. Try and feel comfortable with just yourself for company.
Think of people you want to be around. Generally, they are people who are very comfortable in themselves. That quality is attractive to others. Learning to be on your own and like your own company is a step towards this kind of confidence.
Try not to worry
Feelings of loneliness often come and go during life. Sometimes the best thing to do is accept your feelings. Remember, you'll probably feel better after a while.
If you're lonely because you're homesick, think about when you'll be back with your friends and family. Try to enjoy the new experiences you're having away from home.
If you're constantly lonely for no obvious reason, it could be a sign of depression. This is something you should talk about to family, friends or a counsellor.
Mind yourself & Don't become too online dependent
When you're lonely, you may place too much weight on new friendships and relationships. Build trust gradually, take it slow and accept your new friends as they are. Take your time with new relationships.
What people put on social media can make you feel worse if you're feeling low. Remember, people publish the best of themselves online. Try not to get jealous looking at other people's photos and posts.
While online communities can be a great social outlet, don't rely on them too much. Make sure you balance your social life and make the effort to talk to people in person.
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httpssstufff · 2 days ago
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"It's gonna hurt because it matters."
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- John Green, Looking for Alaska (2005)
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simplytegwin · 3 days ago
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I think that there’s a lot of things you do because you’re lonely
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softpurpledreams · 3 days ago
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Love drunk.
She walked into class, the sticky mascara from the day before still lingered on her lashes like he lingered in her mind. While she takes notes her eyes are focused somewhere else. She daydreams about being along with him and talking. It's always the highlight of her week when they do talk.
To those that see her she may look tired. She is not. She is wide awake and excited at the thought of seeing him, today was the day that they could hang out. She is love drunk for him. She is dazed and dreamy and smiling as if she had been warmed by a good, sweet wine. But the hangover of this sweet sweet wine is always so severe. As is the hangover of all sugars. When she is hungover she feels a deep pain in her heart and in her mind and she wishes so hard that she was in her shoes. The girl between her and him. His girl.
It hurt her to think about it. But she wasn't like that. She would not get between them. She wouldn't. It was wrong. Her feelings were absolutely wrong. She would have to settle for sitting from afar and cherishing the moments they had together in her love drunk haze.
She knew that one day the drunkenness and the hangovers would fade. She would just have to wait for those days.
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