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#bucky time stone fic
fanfictionera · 4 months
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My Queen (BuckyxReader) Smut
A/N: I have always wanted to write a Sex Pollen fic but every time I tried to write one it didn't feel right. Finally I started writing and the vibes started flowing. I wanted filthy smut but with emotion and feeling and I hope that I achieved that. Either way I am super proud of this and I hope readers enjoy!
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Synopsys: The reader and Bucky are sent on a mission where they are exposed to what is referred to as Sex Pollen. Their feelings for each other are forced to be faced.
Word Count: 6,218
Warnings: Sex Pollon, Friends to Lovers, forced sex (due to drugs), sprinkle of Angst, Bucky, SMUT, SMUT SMUT SMUT. SO LITTLE PLOT.
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My Queen
Bucky stood in the back of the Quinjet, checking over his person. It was like a ritual for him, starting from the top he would check every strap and belt, double check each gun and knife blade. His body swayed, compensating for the slight lurch of the Quinjet before it leveled out.
“And we have touched down,” Y/N said from the pilot's seat, with a press of a button her chair spun around. She came up behind Bucky gently tugging on his back harness. The back of the Quinjet dropped down, revealing several structures in a clearing, surrounded by trees. They began to make their way to the larger building in the center. The clearing was shrouded in a dark gray filter as the misty fog creeped its way through the trees, under a sky blanketed by cloud cover, reclaimed by nature. A scan showed no signs of human life, which was little in the way of relief.
They silently approached the front door before stepping into the building. A home. The remnants of one anyway. They entered the kitchen, with a table still made. Flowers in a porcelain milk jug left dead, wilted and dried in the center. A plate sat next to a folded newspaper. Y/N could feel the shift in the air as soon as they walked in. The weight of the secrets of the house, hidden behind the semblance of a quiet life, mixed with the pure evil that seeped from its walls in tendrils made Y/N uneasy. 
They progressed through the first and second level of the home. Although every surface was covered in a thick layer of dust each room sat pristine, frozen in time as if the owner just ceased to exist. One of many of Hydra’s calling cards.
They made their way back outside and to the side of the house. Y/N turned scanning the tree line as Bucky yanked and cleared away brush that covered the storm doors nestled against the house. Nature revealed the chained and padlocked metal doors.
Bucky pulled the chain, breaking it in his metal hands. The parts slipped through his fingers like sand. The doors opened with a gut dropping creek revealing a set of stairs leading down into a dirt floor cellar. 
“Ladies First.” He waved his hand as he motioned his hand forward, his eyes scanning behind Y/N. 
She walked forward, “What a gentleman.”
The cellar was packed hard, the air was stale and stagnant. The wooden shelves that lined the stone wall held glass jars full of canned food. 
Bucky walked to the corner, moving a basket out of the way, revealing a hatch. 
The ladder led down to a concrete room, with the only doorway being a gated elevator shaft. An electrical box was mounted on the wall. Bucky opened it and began to check it over before pulling the large handle down. It made a large metallic thunk as Bucky forced the handle down. A soft wiring noise began to buzz.
Bucky pulled the metal gate to the side, ushering Y/N into the car, he closed the gate after he stepped on and reached for the hand crank on the side. Slowly the metal gears began to move and creak as the elevator descended. “Why does every Hydra base have a creepy elevator?” Y/N asked as she took in the rust-streaked walls of the shaft illuminated by dingy yellowing lights that flickered as they warmed up. 
“Günter did suggest rainbows and butterflies, but as you can see, he was outvoted.” Y/N tried to hide her smile as she rolled her eyes.
The elevator came to a stop as it reached the bottom of the shaft, pulling the gate aside again, they found themselves in a storm of destruction “What is this place?”
“It's a lab, was a lab.” Bucky looked around, “I don't believe I was ever here, but it's where they developed all kinds of fun.”
They began to clear the room, flashlight in hand. Tables sat disheveled and tipped over, their contents scattered. Papers littered every surface like confetti. Various medical equipment and hardware mixed and mingled with the papers, while every box of a computer was shattered or broken. As if someone punched every screen. Several lighting fixtures hung from the ceiling, attached by a few wires, while others found their way to the floor. Bucky held a dangling light to the side, letting Y/N walk through before following.
She scanned the room as she took another step, a loud popping crunch noise made her jump, she looked down, lifting her foot, to see the glass shards sprayed across the floor. 
Bucky laughed as he pushed past her. “You’ve been playing to many zombie games,”
“Shut up.” She walked behind him.
Bucky laughed again as he held his arms out, doing his best zombie impression, ‘Brainsss.” He turned to grab her head. “No brainsssss”
Y/N shoved him playfully, "Can we just do this and get the hell out of here?" Bucky chuckled as he clicked on his flashlight and continued sweeping the lab with a smug smile on his face. Y/N wasn't going to lie, nothing about this place made her feel good. She wasn't sure if it was because of its history or its current state, either way she was very much looking forward to leaving. 
As they continued into the next room, Y/N eyes came to rest on Bucky’s back. They trailed across his harness, how it spanned across his wide shoulders. The dim lights still highlighted the muscular lines built into the metal of his arm. Bucky paused for a moment, pivoting on his heel to double check a dark corner. His face was concentrated, eyes trained. She couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have them trained on her. 
She shook her head, focus, she mouthed to herself. With the room cleared they were moving forward again; her eyes came to the back of his head and down his back. They slowly trailed down to his ass, framed perfectly in his tactical pants, the seams accentuating his curve. 
Suddenly Bucky stopped, looking up at a mess of chains, “Let’s see what's behind door number one.” He put his flashlight between his teeth as he began to roll his sleeve up his flesh arm. 
Y/N watched, entranced by the simple action, she glanced up to see Bucky watching her. He smiled around the flashlight; he reached up with this metal hand taking the source of light. He took several steps toward her before bringing his hand up to her jaw.
“That’s what does it for you?” he swiped his thumb against her bottom lip before swiping his thumb down, pulling her lip with it. “Is it my arm?”
She nodded.
“Or is it my fingers?” Her eyes dilated as Bucky chuckled leaning forward, “Do you want my fingers?” She could feel his breath against her skin as he walked behind her, his flesh hand reaching around, grasping the toggle of her zipper. She could hear each tooth unzip as he pulled the zipper down its full length. The coolness of the metal left a tingling sensation as he followed in the zipper wake, his palm slid down her stomach, closer to her aching core. Her breathing became heavy as her head began to spin.
“Hey,” Bucky’s voice sounded firm, the look of concern evident “Are you okay?”
The world came crashing back in a blink of her eye. Her eyes snapped open to find Bucky standing in front of her, still messing with the chains. She shook her head trying to shake off the ghost feeling of his touch. Y/N took a deep breath, her brow began to pull together, "Do you smell that?” She takes another deep breath through her nose, “It's almost sweet, floral, its faint.”
Bucky looked at her puzzled, the air around them smelled musty and old. Then the realization hit him. "Shit.” With the chains forgotten, Bucky grabbed her arm and pulled her back down where they came, “Where is that vile you stepped on?”
His touch was distracting, “Over, over there, I think?" He let go of her, "What's going on?” Y/N asked as Bucky began searching the ground.
He turned still looking, “Just, please, we need to find it.”
She walked back over a row and kicked a pile of papers, a cracked vile rolled out, “It's right here.” The end was still intact, the label holding the shards together.
Copulation Stimulant 
Y/N’s eyes read over the label, “Is this?” She looked back down again hoping she read it wrong, “This is, oh my god--no-no-no-no.” She dropped the vile again, the realization setting in, her hands coming to her face as she rambled, “I can't do this, this has to be some cruel joke. Yeah? It’s labeled wrong? I can’t actually fuck my best friend…I can't--”
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“Oh, come on now,” As Y/N began to spiral Bucky knelt down to confirm his suspicion, "Best Friend!?" He tried to joke, to keep Y/N with him. "Nat might fight me for that title."
"Stop. I'm serious. You don't understand," She began shaking slightly, overwhelmed as the tears began to fall down her cheek. 
Bucky's smug smile dropped from his face as he took in Y/N’s state, his eyebrows knitted together.
Y/N's chest tightened as she looked up at him. “I can’t fuck my best friend because I’m in love with my best friend."
"Sweetheart" The word came out of Bucky’s mouth like an exhale as he took in her words. 
“Oh my god, am I going to fuck my best friend, who I’m in love with, for the first time in a dingy old Hydra base." Y/N's mind was moving a million miles a second. A heat began to spread from her core, she took a deep breath. 
“Come on,” Bucky gently grabbed her arm, "Not here, let's get back to the Quinjet, okay?”
Y/N shook her head as she let Bucky lead her out of the bunker. She could feel the heat spreading throughout her body, like water slowly trickling down through the soil, saturating each grain as it was pulled down by gravity. It felt invasive. 
The Quinjet bay door began to close as Bucky climbed into the pilot's chair. Y/N sat in the back, her breath becoming heavy. "I'm getting really hot." 
“Like little pin pricks of heat all over your skin?" The Quinjet shook slightly as it rose into the sky.
"Yeah-h" Y/N said as a sheen of sweat began to cover her face. 
"It's hitting you faster." He quickly flipped some switches before getting up out of the chair, he grabbed a med kit duffle bag out of the closet before kneeling in front of her.
Y/N's brow slowly pulled together, "Why?"
"It's designed for super soldiers." Bucky began as he pulled out and cracked a jelly ice pack, instantly making it cold before placing it on her neck. "Which means it's stronger for you."
Y/N felt the sting of the cold radiate, "Okay, okay…okay. What's going to happen?" Her head swirled as she placed her hand over his that held the ice pack, grounding herself. “Be honest.”
Bucky took a deep breath, unable to pull his gaze from her pleading one. "Your adrenaline will slowly rise, until your heart feels like it's going to burst and every cell in your body is vibrating." He flipped the ice pack to the other side of her neck. "It's going to alter chemicals in your brain, driving up your sex drive and arousal." His chest began to heave as he began to feel the effects. “At the same time, it will lower your inhibitions and block all sense of self control.”
Y/N took a deep breath through her nose. "And sex is the only way?"
"No, we can ride this out." Bucky said as he also breathed deep. "It will be torture, an ache of a pain that will thunder through your existence. Every second you resist will feel like one second closer to death, but it won't kill you."
Y/N fought through another wave of heat before responding, "I don't know what to do. It's getting hard to think."
"Yeah." Bucky knew what was to come. How many hours they would have to endure if they waited it out. He dropped the ice pack, now warm, before bringing his hands up to the sides of Y/N's face, pulling her focus back. "Listen to me," He took a moment, “Never in a million years would I have wanted this to be our first time." He let out another grunt as he fought another wave, a smirk appeared through it. "I planned on asking you out, on a real date, before I led you to my bed. To treat you like a queen. My queen.” Tears threatened the corners of Y/N's eyes. Her heart was beating in her ears, and it felt like years as they leaned forward, their foreheads resting against each other. “If we do this now, it won't be like that, you need to know once I start, I will not be able to stop. You will not be able to stop."
Her fingers came up dragging down the edge of his scruff-covered jaw line. “I understand. I trust you, please, I trust you.”
The moment his lips touched hers everything stopped. Bucky physically felt Y/N's body relax as her lips began to move against his. She snaked her hands up his chest and behind his neck before pulling herself off the back of the chair and as close to him as she could. 
Y/N got lost in the intense high created, everything slowed down and hazed over. A dull, mind numbing, wave of emotions swirled in her brain as all sense of time was lost till eventually it wound itself into a ball and exploded against the back of her eyelids. The heat began to fade, leaving a chill across her skin. Her head felt empty and tired. Mentally she couldn't string two coherent thoughts together. Her body felt loose, and her eyes watered as a tear slid down. 
"Hey, it's over." Bucky was catching his breath as he held her head in his hand, looking into her eyes, "it's over," her gaze was distant. 
"Shit." Bucky held onto her, held her close as he began rummaging through the duffle bag, "Come on, there you are." Bucky returned to Y/N, "Y/N, doll, I need you to take this. It will help, can you do that?"
Y/N Glanced down at the small syringe in his hand, "What is it?" The words slurred and tired.
"It will let you sleep till we get back and Bruce can help." Bucky replied softly. 
The tears began to stream down her face, "I'm feeling everything. At once."
“I know. It’s the drug, a side effect.” Bucky took her hand, “Sleep will help.”
“Okay,” Y/N shook her head as she sniffled. Within moments of the liquid entering her blood stream, Y/N's eyes became heavy, and her body relaxed as she drifted off. Bucky gently maneuvered her, placing her on her side across several seats. He fixed her suit, now ripped wide open from navel down to her exposed thighs, her breasts out on display. He pulled the sides of the fabric, covering her the best he could before he grabbed one of the packs of the on-board pillows and blankets, ripping it out of its packaging. He positioned the small pillow under her head and draped the blanket over her body before cleaning himself up and making his way to the cockpit. 
Bucky listened and waited for her to fall into a deep sleep before grabbing the headset. "Friday, please connect me with Steve and Bruce."
"Right away," Friday responded as two small transparent screens appeared in front of Bucky's face. 
Steve's face was scrunched as he slowly woke up, "Hey, what time is it?"
"Two." Bruce replied as he did a double take, pulling on his glasses, "In the morning."
"There's been a situation," Bucky's voice was low, Steve's attention was immediately caught, and he finally took in Bucky's appearance, "We came into contact…with a substance," Bucky looked back again making sure Y/N was still out, "It was developed by Hydra for their breeding program, they called it copulation stimulant, but everyone referred to it as sex pollen." As the Quinet silently made the trek back to the compound, Bucky filled them in.
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Bucky tossed and turned in bed, he rolled over, sheets tangled around his legs and stared up at the ceiling. Taking a deep breath he reached over for his phone, the screen turned on showing it was only mid-morning. 
He rubbed his face before kicking his sheets off and sitting up on the edge of the bed. He stared down at his floor, his mind taking over sucking him back into that moment. Flashes of Y/N's face, filled with fear, overwhelmed with emotions and emptiness played on repeat. 
He blinked away the images as he made his way out of his room. Bucky walked down the hall towards Steve's room. 
Steve sat at his table; papers strewn about as he caught up on his paperwork. He heard the knock before Bucky walked in. 
"How are you feelin'?" Steve asked as Bucky slumped into a chair, aimlessly picking up a piece of paper, setting it back down, not interested. 
"How is she?" Is all Bucky asked. 
Steve pushed a tablet towards him, "Medically speaking, she's okay, nothing more than a few bruises."
Bucky looked down at the screen, a mission report, currently on the recorded incidents page. His eyes instantly skimmed and settled on Y/N's list of injuries before swiping through the rest of the report.
"I decided not to include the details." Steve continued as Bucky sat the tablet down with an exhale. Steve slowly set down the pen as he leaned back in his chair slightly. "Buck, how are you?"
"Angry." Bucky shook his head. "For me to go through it again, fine. But not her."
"Did Hydra use this stuff often?" Steve's brow pulled up softly. 
Bucky's lips flashed a sad smile with a huff of a laugh, "It cycled through. They called it a compliance tool." He looked at his friend, "Sometimes they would call it a reward." 
"Jesus." Steve let out under his breath. 
“They had an endless supply of compliance tools and rewards.” Bucky shrugged slightly, "I'm okay Steve, honestly.”
"I was going to go check on her in a bit.” Steve leaned forward and picked up his pen again as he glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Bruce gave her something to help her sleep more, rest is probably the best for her right now, so she probably won't be stirring for another hour or two." Bucky nodded his head slightly as Steve spoke.
Steve watched as Bucky began to slip back into his thoughts. "Hey," His voice pulled Bucky's eyes to him. "You guys will be dancing around each other again soon enough."
"I told her." Bucky's confession came out softly. "How I feel, right before I railed her brains out in a fit of uncontrollable horny rage." 
“I’m sorry, what?” Steve sat staring at his friend, “You thought, that after being exposed to a chemical weapon used to sexually exploit their victims, yeah this is a good time to confess my feelings to the woman I’ve been absolutely obsessed with since the first day I saw her?”
"Yup," Bucky popped the p, "In my defense she confessed first.”
“Unbelievable,” Steve pinched, “Why are you two like this?”
“In love? Or Insane?” Bucky asked back with a shrug,
Steve crossed his arms as he leaned back, “Go talk to her you jerk."
Y/N’s room was dark, every curtain pulled tight and not a single light was on. She had woken up several times only to roll over and fall back asleep, not wanting or ready to face the world yet. She lay on her belly, letting herself lay there, her head spiraling with thoughts. She grabbed for her phone, the brightness from the screen making her recoil, it was already close to two in the afternoon. She rolled back over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. 
“What's wrong with me?” She asked quietly to herself. 
She never wanted to experience sex pollen again, it scared her to her core to have her own free will taken away. Her heartbeat picked up as she thought about it, a panic slowly bubbling. She took a deep breath, “We can ride this out.” His words echoed in her head. “I wanted to take you out on a date. Treat you like a queen. My queen.” Her heart stuttered a moment as she took another deep breath. 
A knock at her door drew her attention. Slowly she rose from her bed, just as she approached the door another soft knock came. She reached for the handle and opened it to find Bucky standing with a paper bag in hand.
She stared at him, her words stuck in her throat, “Team ordered out, I got your favorite.” Bucky held the paper bag up. “I, um, I wanted to check in and.."  He paused as he shrugged.
Y/N could see the anxiety and pain behind his eyes. She stepped closer to him, her hands coming to the sides of his torso and sliding back, as she hugged him. 
As if on que Y/N stomach growled and she let out a small laugh. She pulled back, taking the bag from Bucky. “Thank you, I don't think I ate anything in the med bay when we got back.” She turned into the room, “Wanna come in?"
As Y/N walked back in, she flicked on a few lamps, creating a soft glow. Bucky closed the door behind him, unsure of what to do. Her desk was sitting just far away to be awkward but the only other place to sit would be her bed, somewhere he had never thought twice about before as he would just sit down or jump in. Now? He was acutely aware of his actions, and it created a ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach.
“Bucky, you're welcome to sit on my bed.” Y/N noticed his hesitation.
He shrugged. “I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.” 
“You aren't” Y/N said as she pulled a plate down from a cabinet in her Kitchenette. 
Bucky paused for a moment before taking a deep breath, "What's going through your head?" Y/N stopped what she was doing, food forgotten as he continued. "Be honest."
Y/N turned, leaning against the counter, to face him. She crossed her arms as she took a moment to bring her words forward, "Did you mean what you said?" her question was soft and quiet. "Your queen." She blinked her gaze up to his.
Bucky let out a huff of a laugh, the corner of his mouth pulling up, “I remember the day you arrived at the compound.” He continued. “That morning Steve and I were set to leave to go on a recon mission. We were going back to the Siberian Hydra base; I hadn't been back since the airport incident. I was an absolute mess leading up to it.” Bucky looked down at his hands as he absentmindedly followed the lines and seams of his metal finger with this flesh. “I probably shouldn't have gone.” He paused again. “I had come so far, the words out of my head, a family around me and I had finally thought I found peace. Yet the moment I stepped back into that room, I looked upon that pit with that monstrosity of a machine still sitting there. I lost it. It instantly triggered a spiral of anger and I felt pushed right back down to my lowest existence.” Bucky kept his eyes trained on the floor. “Steve watched as I destroyed the machine, before helping me calm down. We got the answers we needed, well Steve got the answers we needed. When we got back, I was so far stuck in my head, but then I heard this laughter, it was light and contagious.” Bucky looked up at Y/N who was giving him her full attention. “Your laughter.”
“I followed that sound, until I saw you. Sitting at the counter, a smile on your face and I swear I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life. For the first time since I could remember I could feel this spark of a flame ignite inside of me.” Bucky continued. “This spark that created light and hope and feeling. It only grew. Day after day. It grew with your kindness and confidence. Your strength and your intelligence. That day you took Steve down, he played it off, but I knew that you had genuinely taken him by surprise, I could see it in his eyes. So, I let myself fall in love, I let that light grow into a raging blaze. Until I found myself trying to muster up the courage to tell you while simultaneously trying not to take you where you stood. Ask me again, ask me if I meant what I said.”
Tears were building up in Y/N’s eyes, “Did you mean it?”
"Every word." There was no hesitation in his response as he didn't look away. "I would worship every inch of your mind and body, if you'd let me."
The world began to fade away as Y/N's heart began to beat faster. Bucky's words swirled in her head as she tried to comprehend their meaning as if she couldn't believe them. Bucky sat patiently watching as Y/N slowly walked up to him. Her gaze uncertain, he could feel the tension in the air, as the line they both were hesitant to cross was quickly approaching.
Y/N tentatively stepped between his legs. She could feel the tug of war between her anxiety and adrenaline as she reached to touch his face. She moved her thumb across his jaw, Bucky could see her mind taking off.
He brought his hands up to rest on her hips, "Look at me." Y/N stood quiet for a moment as she took in his unwavering gaze. "What do you need?”
Y/N took a deep breath, "To be your queen.”
He gently pulled her closer. His lips pressed against hers, a tingling sensation ran through her body. Y/N felt Bucky’s hands gently slide down to the crook of her knees. He pulled her up onto his lap, sliding his hands over her thighs following the curve of her ass, before pulling her flush as he deepened the kiss. His lips moved against hers with a gentle urgency as they began to get lost in each other. In that moment, nothing else mattered - no worries or fears, no past or future. There was only the heat of the moment, the electricity between them.
Y/N let her fingers sink back into his hair, tugging slightly, as a low moan tumbled from Bucky’s mouth. “I need more.” Y/N said as Bucky kissed down to the nape of her neck.
He slid his hands up under the hem on her shirt, letting them slowly trail up her sides. Her chest heaved as his thumbs ghosted the underside of her breasts. 
She pulled herself off him, sliding herself back to stand between his legs again, slowly she pulled her shirt up and over her head. He reached up and pulled his own shirt over his head, discarding it. He leaned back, picking up his hips as he pulled his pants down, kicking them off. His length sprung up to full attention and Y/N’s eyes dilated. She stood back admiring Bucky, taking in his sheer size, she bit her lip as her core began to pulse. 
“Come here,” Bucky’s words pulled her in like a lure.
As she climbed back on his lap her hands came to the side of his face and pulled him into her lips. A breathy sigh of a moan escaped Y/N. She lifted herself up on her knees, pushing him slightly back to get to the right angle. She could feel his tip resting at her entrance.
Bucky nudged her nose with his, getting her to look at him. She held eye contact as she slowly slid down, feeling herself stretch around him until she bottomed out. A broken gasp fell from Y/N as the feeling of fullness made her body shutter, Bucky’s stomach twitched in response. She slowly began to roll her hips. His hands squeezed her thighs as he let out a swallowed moan. Her pace quickened until her hips began to fall out of rhythm as she desperately chased her release. 
"That's it sweetheart," His words of encouragement doused in an aroused tone. He felt her sides flutter. He could feel her pressing down on him. He kissed the edge of her jaw as his other hand cupped the back of her head before slowly sliding his lips down her neck. Grazing over her nipples. Another flutter. Her hand slid up into his hair and gently pulled him closer, pressing her nipple to his lips.  The way she took what she wanted made him feral. "Fuck" Bucky whispered. The sound was low and guttural, skittering over her skin like wildfire. 
With every heavy breath a moan escaped. With the last roll of her hips her orgasm exploded through her. Y/N's let out a choked moan as her knees clenched together on either side of Bucky. She felt his metal fingers splayed across her back and his flesh held onto her waist. 
Still fully seated, She let her head fall onto his shoulder as she attempted to catch her breath. Bucky pressed his lips to the other side of her neck before tipping her head back up to see her face. She felt like she was floating in euphoria.
"Feeling good?" Bucky's hand cradled her head. 
A smile spread on her face as she nodded into his hand. "I need more."
Bucky pulled her face to his, guiding her to his lips. Kissing her slowly as he reached his hands behind her, sliding them down her back. He began kissing down her neck and chest as she leaned back slightly. He sucked a nipple into his mouth, feeling Y/N pulse around his sheathed member. He let it fall from his mouth watching the soft skin bounce slightly before latching on again. Y/N squirmed, grinding down, desperate for any movement. 
Bucky gripped her hips and pressed her down further as he worshipped her chest. "James," His name came out as a broken whine. 
"Say that again." Bucky instructed, "Say my name."
"Ja-ahhhh-mes" He sucked her nipple again as she spoke. 
He smirked slightly as he slid his hands under her ass and stood up, Y/N held on as Bucky turned them around and dropped her on the bed. Y/N rubbed her thighs together from the loss of friction. Bucky watched for a moment before Y/N let her legs fall open. Splayed fully open for him, Bucky instantly crawled over, his breath against her sex making her shutter. His lips trailed kisses up her stomach. 
“How many nights have you imagined me like this?” A low chuckle came from Bucky, “Not just nights, and not just this.” He sucked her nipple between his teeth, making her gasp, before he soothed the shock away with his tongue. Y/N’s fingers ghosted over his hairline as she slid them back into his hair, he looked up at her and his eyes darkened as he sunk down and ran his tongue flat against her core. 
Her fingers curled, pulling his hair as her back arched off the bed. Electricity buzzed and exploded up over her body. His hands gripped her hips, keeping her from going too far.
Y/N fell further into bliss as Bucky explored her folds with his tongue. Soft moans spilled between her breaths. She gasped as he slowly inserted a finger, moving it in and out, then two, he felt her walls constrict as he slowly moved and curled his fingers. Y/N began to rock her hips against his face. His lips captured her clit sucking softly before pulling back, letting it fall from his lips. Y/N’s mouth fell open as the filthiest moan fell from her lips. 
He began rubbing his lips and tongue against her in a smooth pattern that felt like a love letter. Her hands gripped his, slipping back to his wrists as she writhed with him, completely letting him guide her over the edge. 
A choked moan came as Y/N’s legs squeezed Bucky’s head. She involuntarily curled up. Bucky wiped his mouth as he sat back on his knees, bringing his fingers up, sucking them clean.
He reached down and grasped her thighs, pulling them up and over his. He leaned back down, letting his hands slide up her torso, up and under her breasts, as his lips found hers once more. 
Y/N could feel his tip at her entrance, and it sent a shiver down her spine. 
She clung to his shoulders, nails dragging across his skin as he slowly pushed himself to his base. She felt the stretch as Bucky began to roll his hips, slowly dragging himself in and out. He began to pick up his pace, to read her body and follow her needs. Y/N hand snaked back around Bucky’s neck, as he sat back up on his knees, she clung to him as he continued his relentless pace. Y/N gripped onto the back of his neck with one hand as she found his knee with her other hand, propping herself up. There was no need however, as Bucky held her up, with his metal hand firmly on her ass and his flesh arm wrapped around the small of her back. He watched as her eyes rolled back into her head, his lips catch and dragged up her neck before sucking on her pulse.
Y/N’s body trembled as she fought to hold back, selfishly wanting more yet not knowing if she could take it. 
She felt her core wound as tight as it would go, unable to hold on to it any longer, she let go. Her body shuttered and Bucky could feel her orgasm pulse around him, squeeze him. He continued, fucking her through, dragging her out as far as he could. He was close and couldn't take it anymore. He let Y/N fall back onto the bed, as he pulled out and finished on her stomach. 
Their breathing was heavy as Bucky leaned over once more, bringing his hand up to Y/N face, her eyes glossed over in euphoria. “Are you okay?’
“Yeah,” She shook her head as she let out a sigh, “More than,”
A smile spread across Bucky’s face as he kissed her, “I am going to go get the shower ready for you, is that okay?”
Y/N Shook her head again before gently pressing her lips to his. “I need to lay here for a moment.”
“You just lay here and look pretty,” Bucky pulled himself off the bed.
Bucky walked into the bathroom, turning the water on to let it warm up. He quickly washed himself and cleaned up before setting up the bathroom for Y/N. He pulled a fresh towel out, placing it in the warmer next to the shower. A purchase that at first, he thought was ridiculous but has since rescinded that opinion. 
He heard Y/N soft pitter pats as she walked in, the steam beginning to form and build. “All set, towel is in the warmer.”
“Thank you,” Y/N said as she made her way to the shower.
“Don't be too long, your food will get cold.” Bucky kissed her forehead before he left Y/N to clean up as he went back out and continued to reheat the food, he had gotten for her. While the microwave hummed, he stripped the bed and stretched new sheets from corner to corner. Laid out the blankets and pulled them back slightly ready for Y/N to crawl in. 
He pulled down another plate for himself before playing up the food. Just as he finished cleaning up Y/N walked out. “Smells good.” She came up to Bucky’s side, wrapping a hand around his arm, leaning against his shoulder. “I am so hungry,” a laugh escaped Y/N, her head moved slightly as Bucky moved his arm. “Go eat, I’ll be right there with some water.”
“Thank you,” Y/N grabbed the plate and took a deep smell through her nose and smiled. “You really did get my favorite.” She said as she settled in on the bed and took a bite.
Bucky sat a cup of water down on her side table before crawling in to join her, “I know. I know all your favorites.”
“Oh?” Y/N asked as she took another bite. 
“And I have the rest of the night to figure out the ones I don't know.” A blush spread across Y/N’s cheeks. 
“I am looking forward to it.” She smiled as she glanced over at Bucky. “I could get use to this queen shit.”
“Oh, you just wait Doll,” Bucky replied. “I am just getting started.”
-End-
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innerslumber · 4 months
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Me imagining Deadpool abusing the TVA in his third movie to pop in on Steve Rogers during Endgame:
Wade: Hey so, I know you got this plan to go back to the past and stay there because the writers are hacks and they can't even keep their own lore intact but LISTEN, how about you hand me those stones and I'll take care of them for ya.
Steve: *staring bewilderedly at the man in Red and Black who just materialized out of thin air* Uh...do I know you?
Wade: Wade Wilson. HUGE fan. I can do this all day. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Til the end of the line. Although that last one isn't gonna be real honest if we let the writers ruin a decade of character development, right? *wriggling fingers* Now let me at them sparkly Josh Brolin Space Kidney Stones.
Steve: Look, I really shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point but this is really important and I can't just hand over-
Wade: You know what else is important? Making sure we keep giving Disney the middle finger despite our inability to stop sucking their tits for content because at the end of the day, we're all victims of capitalism. So just give me the fucking stones, Captain Sexy Ass and not ruin my motivation to finish writing the 300k slow burn best friend soul mate AU Stucky fic that I've been working on for two years. Capiche?
Steve: Uhh...
Wade: *picks up the case with the stones and gives finger guns at a confused Bucky* Buckaroo, just a reminder that the serum shortens refractory periods and Wakanda is reallll nice this time of the year for honeymoon destinations. *Large Obvious Wink*
Bucky: Uhh...
Wade: *random beeping from his toolbelt* Oh gotta go! Have fun! *disappears*
Sam: *giving Steve and Bucky the Stink Eye* How short is your refractory period?
Steve and Bucky: *redfaced*
Bruce: *sighs and walks off to go make a sandwich*
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sansaorgana · 2 months
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it's a part of the loooong message sent to me by @rougegenshin with the ideas for Reader x Buck x Bucky 👀 I chose this one out of a few she sent me (thank you so much, sweetheart! 💘). I'm usually not into poly but I have a tiiiiiny experience with writing for relationships like that so I promised to give it a try 😏 it's not a full smut because I chickened out in the end 🤣
🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞
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Gale didn’t like to dance. You were sitting with his arm around you and watched Bucky dancing with a friend you had brought for him to meet. He was with her but his eyes lingered on you all the time.
You didn’t know why you felt this way. You loved Gale Cleven, you would die for him, in fact. And your whole life you had been thinking you were a one man’s woman. But now, when you were in an actual relationship with a man of every woman’s dreams… You were jealous to watch his best friend dancing with another woman.
Bucky was into you, it was obvious. In a way he would always stare at you with puppy eyes, tease you with his comments that were making Gale roll his eyes. There were also things that he was doing that your boyfriend did not know about – the way Bucky would stare at your chest and bite his lip, the way he would touch your hand in the dark sometimes and you allowed him. Last few months – throughout your whole relationship with Gale Cleven – Bucky’s attention was focused on you. And now he was dancing with another woman and he might have been staring at you but you hated that his hands were on her hips and that it was her being so close to him.
“Everything alright?” Gale’s deep voice made you blink a few times and look at his face. God, he was so perfect. Why couldn’t you just be loyal like other women were?
Was it possible that you were one of the harlots? All your life you had been thinking you were a good girl; nothing special, born to become some nice man’s housewife. And now you felt like a jezebel.
You cupped Gale’s face, driven by guilt.
“I’m just worried about him. He’s leaving tomorrow,” you confessed in a whisper and Gale shook his head with a chuckle. “He’s your best friend and mine, too, now. He’s everywhere we go. You can’t expect me not to care about him.”
“I’m glad that you care about him,” Gale held your wrist and caressed it before placing a soft kiss upon it. He was so innocent, he had no idea about the nature of your feelings towards his friend.
“I just wanted to explain… I know that some men would be jealous,” you took a breath deep in.
“I’m not jealous,” he assured you but he looked deep into your eyes in a way that made a knot form in your stomach.
He didn’t look angry but there was some suspicion and curiosity in his beautiful blue eyes.
“Can I dance with your girl now?” Bucky interrupted you with a smile.
You were scared to dance with him in public. You were terrified of your body language revealing a little too much. Those things were not easy to control.
“In fact, we are leaving. It’s getting late and I have to walk my girl home,” Gale answered and you sighed with relief. “You have fun, Bucky, it’s your last night,” he stood up and you followed.
Your friend walked away to buy a drink so you were left alone with the two men.
“Are you going to stay at (Y/N)’s place for the night?” Bucky lowered his voice.
“Yes,” Gale answered with a nod.
“Can I join you later?” Bucky asked and your heart started to pound in your chest as you took Gale’s hand to squeeze it. “For the one last drink,” Bucky added.
“I don’t mind,” Gale told him and then he laid his eyes on you.
“Sure, Bucky, come by!” You smiled at him and he winked at you. “Throw a stone at my window so I know it’s you.”
“See you later then,” he patted Gale’s arm. “Don’t start without me,” he teased and you felt your cheeks heating up.
Gale only shook his head with an embarrassed chuckle and he walked you out of the bar to walk you to your place.
You were renting a room in an old house and your landlady only rented it to women. In fact, she didn’t want any male visitors at all – even by day. But she left the town for a week now because of her sister’s illness. Nearly all your flatmates were taking full advantage of this temporary situation.
You went upstairs and opened the door to your room quietly, letting Gale inside and then closing the door behind you. He took his cap off and put it on the armchair before sitting down on the couch and you put some jazz music on quietly and lit a few candles. With a soft smile you sat on your boyfriend’s lap and put your arms around his neck.
“I love you,” you assured him with a thought of Bucky still in the back of your head. You wanted to shake it off.
“I love you, too, angel,” he pulled you even closer and gave you an open mouth devouring kiss that made you breathless. You tugged on his golden hair and moaned into his mouth.
“Gale,” you giggled and he raised an eyebrow at you. “Don’t start anything now, we don’t know when Bucky might come,” you whispered.
“Do you think I don’t know how you’re looking at him?” He asked, suddenly and you froze as your heart pounded in your chest.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” You stuttered out. “Gale, I love you…”
“I know you do, sweetheart,” Gale nodded. “I haven’t said anything about it.”
“Then what do you mean?” You batted your eyelashes.
“I mean that I’m so close with John that I don’t mind sharing with him,” Gale’s face was serious and your jaw dropped at his words.
“I thought you were a conservative man, Gale Cleven,” you furrowed your brow.
“I thought that, too. But I see how he’s looking at you and I see how you’re looking at him. And all I want is for both of you to be happy,” Gale’s hands started to caress your thighs and arm with his fingertips, causing the shivers go down your spine. “You’re two people I love the most and I want nothing but your happiness.”
“And what about you?” You asked.
“Well, it’s not like you’re going to leave me for him, is it?” He chuckled but there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
“Oh, no! No, no, of course not!” You shook your head.
“Then your happiness won’t cost me my own,” Gale pointed out when a wild thought appeared in your mind.
“You love him, too, don’t you?” You bit on your lower lip. Gale blushed and looked around, uncomfortably avoiding your eyes. “Oh… Yes, you do,” you chuckled at him. “I don’t mind sharing you either… only if it’s with Bucky,” you assured him and caressed his cheek.
He looked up, surprised, but before he could answer, a stone hit your window softly.
You left Gale’s lap and took the key to leave your room and walk downstairs and let Bucky in.
“You’re quick,” you told him.
“I was impatient and your friend was a bore,” he shrugged his arms. You shushed him by putting a finger over your mouth and you led him upstairs.
When he walked inside your room, you locked the door behind him and put the key away. Gale was sitting on the couch with his legs spread open in a lazy manner, watching you two with a shadow of a smirk. He nodded at you and you took a deep breath in before grabbing Bucky’s face almost aggressively and joining your lips together. He was petrified out of shock at first and did not react but then he pulled you closer with a smile. His moustache tickled your upper lip and made you chuckle.
“What the hell…?” He breathed out when you broke the kiss. “Buck, you okay with that?” He turned around to look at his friend.
“It’s your last night, Major Egan. Enjoy,” Gale nodded.
“And what about you?”
“I will watch,” your boyfriend assured you but you felt bad for him. He deserved his fun, too. He was such a good man, willing to share you like that. So understanding…
“I can make you both happy,” you offered with a shy smile.
After a short moment of hesitation, they both agreed. You pushed Bucky to sit down on the couch next to Gale. Your heart was pounding as fast as never before when you realised what you were about to do. This night would never be undone, it would forever stay in your memory and it could possibly ruin everything between Gale and you – and between him and his best friend. But it could also make everything even better. And you didn’t want to regret not trying.
To the rhythm of a soft jazz song playing in the background, you began unbuttoning your dress as you stood in front of them. The movements of your fingers were slow, you let the fabric slide down your body at its own pace, revealing your bra, panties and stockings kept in place by a garter belt. You had planned tonight to be special for your boyfriend so you had made sure to doll yourself up earlier. You hadn’t expected tonight to take such a wild turn.
Your cheeks were hot to the touch but your boys’ faces were in a light shade of pink as well. Both a little shy and excited about the show you were giving them. Bucky’s mouth opened slightly and Gale was looking you up and down as if you were a snack on a plate placed in front of him.
Instead of immediately reaching up to your bra’s clasp to undo it, you allowed your hands to roam freely all around your body, caressing the curves that Gale loved to explore and kiss all over, hoping that Bucky would enjoy them, too.
“Come ‘ere, baby,” your boyfriend beckoned you over, his voice darker than usual. You walked up to him and sat astride him, letting his big, slim hands be the ones to undo the clasp of your bra.
You threw it away and Bucky gasped at the sight he had craved to see for the past few months. You gave Gale a big, loving kiss, before moving onto his friend’s lap and kissing him, too, as his hands grabbed both of your breasts to squeeze them. Bucky moaned into your mouth and you smiled.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart,” he whispered when you broke the kiss. It turned you on how he was staring at you, like you were a piece of art, a goddess to worship.
“Better not,” you teased him, “because I need both of my Majors to come back to me.”
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MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST
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imyourbratzdoll · 1 year
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hiii
I would love if you could write something like this:
Steve went to the past after putting back the stones bc he wanted to stay with Peggy…so he did, but after 5 hours with her he realised that Peggy is not the love of his life but it’s actually reader.
Like they were engaged and had been together for long long time (since 2012 idk) and reader was gonna tell him she was pregnant after he came back from putting the stone…
But bc of time travelling 5 hours in the past are 5 years for the rest (like reader, Bucky Sam etc.) which means that Steve has been gone for 5 years, so when he comes back he is shocked and confused but then he finds readers house (which is similar to Tony’s and pepper yk cute in the woods near a lake bla bla bla) and he rings the bell and she opens and is whole like tf???
And then her their son come up behind her and ist like “mommy who’s this?”
Also Bucky and Sam and all the others have helped her with the baby and now son.
Idk you can decide if she if a single mom or if she is with in a relationship with Bucky or if she is with someone else yk
I love you and your fics!!!
Besos 💕
hi honey! I hope you like this and thank you, I love you too!
summary - steve left you for peggy, only to realise five hours in that she was no longer the woman he loved. when he came back, five years had passed. will you ever forgive him for the sake of your son? or is your future with him no more?
warning - angst, so much angst, swearing.
the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips
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Five years ago today, you had watched the love of your life disappear to the past and not return. You had suspected something was going to go wrong that day, and it was also the day you had found out you were pregnant. You could remember when Steve had first gone to the past, and when he came back… He was… Distant. He couldn’t even look at you, wouldn’t hug or kiss you, and those days were the hardest. You had felt so alone and unloved. 
Right now, you’re decorating a bunch of biscuits that have been cooling since they came out of the oven. You find yourself zoned out as you stare out the kitchen window and at the swing tied to a huge tree. You hadn’t thought of Steve for a very long time, sure. There were times that your son reminded you of him. Of course, he would. He was the spitting image of his father, just cuter and tinier. 
“Mumma?” You blink, clearing your throat before you turn and look down at your son. “Can I have a biscuit now?” You smile softly, cupping his cheek, your thumb stroking his face. 
“Sure, baby. Which colour do you want?” He points to the sparkly green one, mentioning that it reminds him of Rex. The dinosaur he’s currently clutching. “Here you go, baby. But that’s the only one, okay? We don’t want to spoil your dinner.” 
“Okay, mumma! Thank you!” He gives you a wide, toothless smile before stuffing the biscuit into his mouth and walking away, probably to continue watching his cartoons.
You sigh, sadly watching him walk away. You had been engaged to Steve and thought he was happy with you. You were ready to marry him, buy a house in the woods and have many kids, but he left you for her. He left, and you were alone to pick up the pieces. Sure, you could’ve gone to Bucky, Sam, or any of the remaining avengers. But they were all grieving themselves, so you packed up. You bought that house in the woods and ended up raising your child alone. You remember during your pregnancy, you didn’t want to live, but you didn’t want to do that to everyone else. When the team found out you were pregnant and trying to do it alone, they nagged you until you let them help.
You could remember clear as day when Bucky and Sam knocked on your door, bringing you food daily, staying up with you, and getting you your cravings. They were there when your son was born, and they were there to change his diaper and feed him whilst you slept. They were there, and yet, he wasn’t. Of course, he wasn’t. The man decided to be selfish when you needed him the most. What hurt most was the fact that he couldn’t be selfish with you. He had to be with another for that. You wish he had told you so that you could say goodbye. 
You were so in your head that you didn’t hear the familiar rumble of a motorbike pull up. It just blended with old memories of Steve. The bell rang throughout the house, followed by some knocking. Your brows furrow as you wonder what asshole is ringing and knocking at your door. Couldn’t they decide which one? You put down the biscuit you were decorating, brushing your hands against your apron before you head over. Your hand wrapped tightly around the handle, and you swung it open.
“What the–” Your eyes widen when they connect with those beautiful blue ones you fell in love with. Your lips curl in a sneer, an angry expression crossing your face. “What do you want? Shouldn’t you be fucking some old whore right now?” 
Steve winces, his eyes dragging up and down your body as he takes you in. He can feel his heart nearly beating out of his chest at the sight of you in front of him. “Listen… I know–”
“No, you listen. You piece of shit!” You whisper-yell, teeth clenched as you don’t want your son to hear. Your finger presses against Steve’s chest as you poke. “You left me. You left us. For someone who had already moved on, for someone who was in your past. You asked me to marry you, we had these plans for our future, and you threw them away for someone else.” You rapidly blink away the tears, not wanting to show him any sign of weakness. “You plunged your hand into my chest and ripped it out, taking it with you. You don’t get to come back here and think all is forgiven. It’s been five fucking years, Steven, five. Why’d you even come back, huh? You get sick of her already?” Your hands rest on your hips as you glare up at him. 
He gulps, feeling tears fill his eyes as he realises the amount of pain you’ve gone through these past years. “I didn’t know it was going to be five years… I was only there for five hours, but I came back for you! I realised you are the one I love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He stops as your glare hardens.
“Steven Grant Rogers, are you telling me you had to leave without a goodbye, leave me for another woman for you to realise I was the one? Is that what your telling me right now?! You’re telling me the many years we spent together weren’t enough for you to know. But possibly sticking your dick in another made you realise?” 
Steve’s mouth opens as he’s about to argue, but a much smaller voice cuts him off. “Mummy? Who’s this?” Your eyes fall down to your son’s, watching as he glares at Steve. Steve’s brows are furrowed as he takes in the child, noticing how similar he looks. His breath hitches as the pieces of the puzzle begin to connect.
He looks at you, tears now rolling down his face. “Is he…” You reluctantly nod, causing sobs to escape Steve. “Oh my god, I have a son? Why didn’t you tell me? I missed so much….” 
You glare, “why didn’t I tell you? Why didn’t I tell you?!” You hear a small whimper and quickly look down at your son. “It’s okay, baby. Why don’t you go and watch more of your cartoons? Mummy will be there soon.” He nods, casting one last glance at Steve before wandering off, hesitating to leave his mum with a man who is obviously upsetting her. “I was going to tell you that day, Steve. But you decided that leaving for someone in the past was more important than staying with the people you had in the present.” 
He takes a shaky breath, staring at you. “What can I do to make it up to you? What can I do to make us a family?” His fingers itch, wanting to reach out and touch you, but he knows you’d rip his limbs off if he did.
“There’s nothing you can do, Steve. I may let you see your son, but anything between us is over. I don’t want to be with someone I can’t trust, but the first sign of you becoming distant, I will ban all interaction with my son. Understood?” He nods, feeling his heartbreak at your decision, wondering if there’s someone else.
“I–Is there someone else?” Steve gulps, watching your jaw clench. “I wouldn’t blame you if you moved on… But.”
“But what? Do you really think you have a say in anything? You left me, Steve. Remember that, before you ask personal questions, you have no right to know.” You move back, and just as you are about to close the door. You look at him. “But, no. There’s no one else because you ruined that for me. So I hope she was worth it.” And with that, you close the door, sliding down it as you try and catch your breath. Your head goes into your hands, trying not to break down because you still have your son to think about. 
“Mummy?” You quickly blink the tears away, lifting your head, your eyes meeting his bright blue ones. He comes closer and crawls into your lap, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into your neck. “I love you, mummy. Will always be here.” 
And with those words, you break down. You have no idea of the man on the other side listening to everything, on the verge of his own tears. You only care about the sweet angel hugging you. You hold him tightly against you as you cry into his hair. “I love you too, baby boy. Mummy will always love you.”
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thank you for reading!
feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.
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lunarbuck · 1 year
Text
In Our Element (College!Stucky x f!reader)
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pairing: college!stucky x f!reader (any race)
wc: 3.4k
summary: A camping trip with your friends leads to more than you bargained for
warnings: friends to lovers, oral (f and m receiving), smut (p in v, p in a), threesome, polyamory, MMF relationship
a/n: thank you @flordeamatista for hyping this fic up and for daydreaming with me <3 i hope you guys enjoy!!
my masterlist
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You practically moan as you toss your backpack to the ground at the top of the bluff. Bucky laughs, following your lead. The camping trip was Steve’s idea, so of course, he didn’t have any trouble with the hike up the bluff or with the heavy backpack. He practically skipped the whole way here.
He gives you a bright smile as he unclips the tent from the bottom of his pack. “You two gonna help me or am I on my own here?” He asks, spreading out the tarp. Bucky rolls his eyes but helps out his friend.
In an effort to be somewhat helpful, you decide to start gathering wood for the fire. Even though your legs feel noodly and it’s way hotter than you thought it would be, you’re still happy to be here. The three of you will start your 4th and final year of college in just a few weeks; it feels surreal. 
You’ve known Steve and Bucky since freshman year and it’s crazy to think that at the end of this school year, the three of you won’t necessarily be in the same place anymore. Both the boys will probably get shipped out after graduation and you haven’t quite decided what’s next for you. 
It’s not very easy to force yourself to stop thinking about it, but when you haul back your arm full of firewood and see Bucky and Steve bickering about the tent, it all seems to fade away. You dump the wood and dig out a fire pit, trying to remember your firemaking skills from girl scouts.
It takes you a few tries and way more matches than Troupe Leader Nicols would have approved of, but eventually, you have a fire. The boys manage to get the tent up without killing each other, and this place is starting to come together. 
 “Look at you go, angel.” Bucky starts pulling the food out of his pack, laying it out so he can start cooking. Even though you’ve known him for three years, you haven’t quite gotten used to how tall Bucky is. Steve too, honestly. They’re both built like goddamned brick walls and even when Bucky is sitting beside you, he isn’t even eye level.
Now you won’t beat around the bush. Bucky is incredibly easy on the eyes. Especially with the firelight flickering in his deep blue eyes. His brown hair is swept up off his forehead in a carelessly sexy way that makes you want to scream, but you keep it contained. It’s never been like that between the two of you. He’s always kept his conquests out of your friendship, opting to give you bare-bone details about his casual hookups. 
It’s the same with Steve. You watch him as he walks toward the fire, a soft smile on his lips. He’s beautiful, you’ve thought so since the moment you laid eyes on him. He’s always watching out for you, making sure you’re doing okay, checking in. He makes butterflies burst in your heart every time he comes around.
“Thanks for doing this,” Steve says, sitting beside you. Bucky arranges the little tin foil packets on the hot stones, a pleasant smile on his face. “I’m happy the three of us could finally get out here. We’ve been wanting to show you this place for a while.” 
Your heart warms at his words. Steve and Bucky are your best friends, they’ve been there for you through all the ups and down college has thrown at you. You’re not sure you would’ve survived without them. Part of you feels guilty for developing feelings for them, for the fact that you want more when they’ve already given you everything.
“I’m glad you invited me,” you reply, nudging Steve with your shoulder. “This is perfect.” The glow from the fire softens his usual sharp, classically charming features, and you feel yourself melt at the sight of them. Behind him, the sun is setting, painting the sky with bright oranges and pinks, and everything feels so… right. 
Once the food is warmed up, Bucky passes everything out and you all dig in. Conversation flows easily between the three of you, reminiscing and laughing about the past, and before you know it, the stars are shining in the sky. 
“It’s so clear up here,” Bucky mumbles, tilting his chin to stare at the constellations. “Can never see this many stars in the city.” You follow his line of sight and find his eyes tracing the outline of Hercules. 
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many,” you whisper. “It’s beautiful.” Bucky turns, grinning down at you. Suddenly, it feels like there’s no air. The way he’s looking at you sends shivers down your spine.
“You’re beautiful, angel.” Your lips part on a gasp, mind spinning.
“Bucky.” You can barely hear your voice when you speak. He just smirks and flicks his eyes behind you to where Steve is watching silently. You quickly turn to him, heat flooding your body.
“S’mores?” He asks, not appearing fazed by the moment between you and Bucky. You watch him arrange the s’mores materials and hand out sticks to roast marshmallows as if nothing happened.
“Steve, I–” He just smiles and shakes his head a little as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. You shake it off, taking the stick from Steve and roasting a marshmallow. You stare at the flames, feeling off-kilter from the heated moment with Bucky. You don’t want to hurt Steve, you care so much about him. You couldn’t ever pick between the two of them, your feelings equally strong for both men. You don’t want him to feel like you’ve chosen Bucky over him.
Before your marshmallow has a chance to light on fire, you pull it away from the flames and make your s’more. The chocolate melts in your mouth and you grin; s’mores could probably solve all your problems. 
You feel fingers turning your chin and suddenly you’re back face-to-face with Bucky. “You’ve got a little somethin’ here, angel,” he whispers. His thumb gently rubs against the corner of your mouth as he slowly leans toward you. When he’s just inches away, his lips tip up into his signature smirk, before closing the distance and pressing a kiss to your lips. He’s kissing you softly, but there’s so much passion in it. Bucky’s hand cups your face while his metal fingers rest on your waist, holding you steady. 
You lean into his kiss, head buzzing. You’ve wanted this for years, since the first time you met him, and now it’s happening. But you can’t forget that Steve is beside you, watching. Watching his best friend kiss you right in front of him. That’s what makes you pull away.
“So fuckin’ sweet,” Bucky says, thumb tracing over your lips. 
“Language.” Steve’s scolding tone is also a teasing one, and you turn to find him watching you and Bucky with hooded eyes. He reaches out, placing a hand on your leg. His palm is warm against your skin but you still shiver at that contact.
“Stevie,” you whisper. He nods, shifting closer until he can lean his forehead against yours. 
“You’re beautiful, angel.” When he kisses you, he tastes sweet like the s’more and smells smokey from the fire. His hand rests on your hip opposite from where Bucky’s is, and the feeling of both of them touching you at the same time sends you spinning. Never, in any of the scenarios you’d thought up did they both want you, let alone at the same time. Sure, you’ve fantasized about it, dreamed about it, but you didn’t think it’d ever happen. 
Bucky’s hands find your shoulders, grazing your neck. You feel him lean down and press his lips to the sensitive spot beneath your jaw and you groan into Steve’s kiss. Heat builds between the three of you, a sense of urgency you’ve never felt before.
“You’re perfect,” Bucky says into your skin, sucking gentle marks in places that make you see stars. “Our perfect little angel.” Steve pulls away, placing a gentle kiss on your nose, and you look between the two men, stunned.
“I never thought…” your voice fades as you lose yourself in both of them. 
“Never thought what?” Steve prompts, trailing across your face.
“Never thought that you two would feel this way for me.” Bucky chuckles, still pouring his attention into your neck.
“We’ve never met a girl like you, angel,” Bucky tells you, and you truly believe it. “You’ve been ours since you met us, we’ve just been waiting for you to realize it.” Your heart slams in your chest so hard you swear it’s going to burst right out.
“How do you feel?” Steve asks, holding your face in his big, warm hands. “Is this okay?” You nod quickly, earning you a laugh from both men.
“I feel like I’m floating,” you reply. Four hands move over your body, feeling every inch of you. Two sets of lips kiss you, taste you, and unravel you. Bucky adjusts you so you’re able to lean back against him and Steve moves with you, not letting you go for even a moment. Sandwiched between the two mountain-like men, you’ve never felt safer, never felt better.
When they pull away, both men help you stand. You have to crane your neck to keep eye contact, but it’s worth it to see them both smiling happily at you.
“Angel,” Bucky says, turning your head with two fingers. You love that nickname. You don’t remember where it came from, you used to roll your eyes at it, but you’ve always loved it. Especially when Bucky says it like that. “We can stop if you want to, we don’t want you to feel pressure to do anything you don’t want to. Okay?”
“What if I want it all?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at him. 
“Then we’ll give it to you,” Steve answers. He guides you toward him, hooking his fingers in the hem of your shirt before tugging it off you. You shiver in the night air, but Bucky is quick to warm you up, his lips finding your shoulder. 
Steve works your shorts off next, helping you step out of them. In just your panties and bra, you should feel exposed, but you don’t. Steve and Bucky make you feel beautiful, they make you feel strong. Steve admires you for a moment, bright blue eyes trailing over your body appreciatively. Then, he turns you to face Bucky.
“I’ve been waiting so long for this, angel,” he whispers, leaning in and kissing you. His metal fingers are cold against your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. 
Behind you, Steve steps in close, tracing his fingers along your back. The shapes he draws are followed by his lips. It takes you a moment, but you realize he’s drawing the constellations on your back, kissing the stars into your skin. 
Both of the men kneel and Steve unclasps your bra. Bucky instantly wraps his lips around one of your nipples, taking your other breast into his hand. Steve watches from over your shoulder, breathing heavily as he takes in the sight of Bucky worshiping you. His hands trace down your torso, finding the waistband of your panties and dragging them down your legs. You gasp, one hand burying itself in Bucky’s hair, the other reaching back to hold onto Steve.
Steve’s fingers slide up your legs before his right hand reaches the crux of your thighs. His other hand anchors in Bucky’s hair, tugging it lightly. You’re desperate for him; for them, and you know he can feel it. His fingers slide against you, knocking your clit with each pass. “You’re so wet,” he tells you, sliding a finger inside of you. “So wet for us, angel.”
Bucky groans against your nipple before pulling away to watch Steve finger you. “Fuck, Steve,” he grumbles, resing his forehead against your sternum. “I know, language.” Steve chuckles by your ear, adding a second finger. He picks up his pace, hitting a spot inside of you that makes your head go fuzzy. Your knees wobble, and Bucky holds them, not letting you fall.
“Why don’t we take this to the tent, Buck,” Steve suggests. The other man nods, and a second later, he scoops you into his arms. Steve helps the two of you settle the tent after putting out the fire, and once you’re laying down between the two of them, they’re back on you.
Bucky slides down between your legs, tongue running over your pussy like he’s starving, while Steve’s tongue laves your breasts. Bucky works you back to the point Steve had gotten you to, the band in your belly ready to snap. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging him to where you want him, and as he works tight circles over your clit, you come apart, shaking in his and Steve’s arms. 
“So perfect, angel, so perfect,” Bucky whispers against your clit. “Gimme another one, come on.” He slides two fingers inside of you, stretching you while he tastes you. You’re sensitive since you just came, but Bucky is quick to soothe any ache you feel. Steve sucks marks across your breasts and neck, ones that you’re so happy to wear, and you come again just thinking about it.
“Please, please,” you moan, gently guiding Bucky’s face away from your pussy. 
“Tell us what you want,” Steve tells you, kissing your cheek. You glance between him and Bucky, who is still resting between your thighs, and feel a renewed heat in your belly.
“I want both of you.” Bucky raises an eyebrow, urging you to continue. “I want both of you at the same time.” Steve and Bucky exchange a glance, and for a moment, you worry you’ve suggested the wrong thing. “Or, or not, I’m sorry I didn’t mean–”
“Angel,” Bucky says, nipping at your inner thigh. “That was the perfect suggestion.”
“Really?” You look at Steve for confirmation, unable to wipe the grin from your face.
“Really,” he replies. “We’ve been wanting that since we both realized we had feelings for you. We talk about it all the time, what we’d do to you, what you’d sound like.” Your mind floods with downright pornographic images of those conversations until Steve and Bucky pull you back to the real world.
“If you’re gonna take us we’re gonna have to get you ready,” Bucky says, shifting onto his knees. He slides his hands over your legs, but his eyes are on Steve. “You just gonna stare, Stevie? Or are you gonna do something?” Steve does his best to maneuver over to Bucky, and when he’s between your legs too, he strips Bucky out of his shirt and works his pants down too. Bucky strips Steve next, and before you know it, they’re both naked. You can’t take your eyes off of them, off of their perfectly sculpted bodies.
Bucky tugs Steve into a bruising kiss, both men melting into each other. They fit perfectly together, feeding off one another in a way you’ve never seen before. It’s beautiful. When they pull apart, they’re both panting. They turn to you next, lust filling their eyes. 
Steve sinks lower and Bucky slides two fingers inside of you. Bucky moans as Steve takes his dick into his mouth. You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can watch. You’ve never had voyeuristic tendencies before, but these men bring out a new side of you. 
Bucky smirks, one hand working you, the other hand cupping Steve’s head. He looks completely in his element. Bucky’s fingers scissor inside of you, stretching you out, but seeing how big he and Steve are, you aren’t sure any amount of preparation will be enough. 
When Bucky decides you’re ready, he moves, pulling Steve off of him. Steve’s face is flushed, but he grins as he positions himself between your legs. He lines himself up with your pussy and notches the head of his dick at your entrance. You press your lips to his, moaning into the kiss as he presses inside of you. He’s stretching you more than Bucky’s fingers, but it feels so incredible.
“Oh my god, angel,” he moans, wrapping his arms around you. ”You’re so tight, squeezing me so good.” Bucky lays down beside you, hand sliding down to where Steve is fucking you. He circles your clit slowly in contrast to the pace Steve is setting. 
“Doesn’t he feel good?” Bucky whispers into your ear, sliding his fingers lower, slipping one inside of you with Steve’s dick. You jolt at the feeling, but Steve kisses you sweetly, nipping at your lower lip. “His cock is perfect, isn’t it, angel? Hitting all the right spots, huh?”
“Shit, yes,” you moan, your head lolling back as Steve fucks you. “It feels so good.” Steve and Bucky seem to be communicating telepathically, because they keep moving in sync. Steve will shift, Bucky will move with him. They play your body like a fiddle, like they know you better than you know yourself. 
Eventually, they manage to get Steve below you with you on top, riding him. He’s even deeper this way, hitting spots inside of you that you didn’t know existed. Bucky sits behind you, sliding his hands all over you, kissing you everywhere. 
“You ready for the next step?” Bucky asks, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. 
“Yes, yes, please,” you whimper. You’ve been on edge for a while, everytime you get close to coming Steve slows down, not letting you finish. Bucky rustles through a bag and you hear a click before you feel one of his fingers, slick and warm, pass over your ass. You shiver at the feeling but keep grinding against Steve. 
Bucky works his finger inside of you, and even just the feeling of his finger in your ass coupled with Steve’s dick makes the band in your belly snap. You come on a groan, leaning back against Bucky’s chest. Once you’re relaxed, he adds a second finger. You feel like you’re going to explode. Bucky keeps working you, keeps stretching you, all the while whispering in your ear.
“So perfect for us, angel, so good. You squeezin’ my fingers so tight, squeezing Stevie so good.” After he feels you’re ready, you feel him pull away. Next, his lubed cock presses against your ass and you stifle a groan. Bucky runs his hands over you soothingly before he presses inside of you.
Steve moans loudly from below you, gripping your hips tightly. “Oh my god, Bucky, she’s so much tighter now.” You whimper as they start to move in tandem, stretching you to your limit. 
“Come on, Stevie, show her how much you want her,” Bucky goads as he tweaks your nipples. Steve bucks below you, fucking into you faster. Your eyes roll back, your head falls onto Bucky’s shoulder, and all you can do is take it. Bucky presses in deeper, fucking you at an agonizing pace. 
“God, angel, you feel so good. You’re perfect, so beautiful.” He whimpers the words, and you can tell he’s getting close. You run your hands along his chest, scraping him lightly with your nails, and he comes on a loud moan. Bucky keeps thrusting into you, making a sensitive Steve whine, but he comes soon after, filling you.
The three of you lay in an exhausted, sexed-out heap, breathing heavily. You’re blissed out between the two of them, loving how even though they’re about to pass out, they’re still caressing you; still holding you. 
“I should go get something to clean us up,” Steve says, moving to sit up, but you grab him and pull him back down, tugging him into your chest. 
“Not yet,” you whisper. Bucky joins your cuddle heap despite the heat coming off everyone’s bodies. “Just stay here with me.”
When setting up the tent, Bucky and Steve had opted to keep the rain fly off since it’s not supposed to rain, so you can see the stars through the mesh top of the tent. After a few moments of sated silence, you speak again. “Is this real?”
“Of course it’s real, angel,” Bucky replies, squeezing one of your hands. “Our feelings for you are real. This is real.”
“Your feelings for us are real, right?” Steve asks, lacing his fingers with your other hand.
“Of course.”
“Then it’s real,” Steve says. “We care about you so much, angel, and we want this to work out. Real.”
Eventually, you let Steve get you cleaned up. The three of you fall asleep in a tangled mess, but you couldn’t be happier. Tonight was perfect, this trip, these men, everything. Absolutely perfect.
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scmoobly · 7 months
Text
Wanna Be Yours | Bucky Barnes
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: Even months after Bucky had rescued you from HYDRA, you still had a separation anxiety that made you paranoid when he wasn't around. And so did Bucky.
Content: [bucky being unable to stay away from you] [Comforting] [minor pining for each other] [alluding to s³x]
Warning: Mild mature themes
A/N: first buck fic😍✋️That I'm posting anyways. Not saying my draft isn't full of horndog shit BUT PLEASE PAY ATTENTION THIS PART IS IMPORTANT. Please watch this bucky edit before reading. It'll give you a visual of this fic. I'll leave the link in the comments as well so it's easier to copy. Okay, enjoy ♡ https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNMdKCFQ/
Not proofread, Sorr :)
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"Bucky."
"Hmm." A low grumble echoed from the other end of the call, the familiar rattle of his metal arm easing the anxiety in your chest.
"I miss you."
"I'm working." He responded with the same monotonous effect. He'd been dispatched on a mission nearby, along with Natasha Romanoff only about 20 minutes ago.
She was a glorified babysitter that Steve had assigned to accompany Bucky just in case he got himself in trouble.
As grateful as you were that they'd helped Bucky save you from HYDRA, you weren't that well acquainted with the avengers to know their relationship with each other so the fact that you were left at the tower alone while Bucky was out with someone else just didn't sit well in your stomach.
"I miss you." You repeated mechanically into the phone. It was a habit hard to kill even though it had been months since you'd been freed from the shackles Pierce constricted you in. You were no longer a soldier, but it wasn't like you could just turn off or forget years of torture.
When there was no response, you opted to repeat yourself another time before he interrupted you. "I miss y-" "I know."
You heard a soft sigh from the other line, a few minutes of silence passing before it disconnected with a distorted click.
10 minutes later
The door to Buckys bedroom swung open, revealing you sitting in front of it with your legs curled up to your chest, the same inexpressive look in your eyes as they looked up at him.
"How long have you been sitting here?" His brows knotted, and his forehead creased revealing a hint of worry. "Since you left." You answered to which he could only respond with a deep exhale.
Bucky walked closer to you, crouching down to your level before gently sliding a few strands of hair behind your ear, his thumb caressing the skin of your cheek with caution.
Leaning into his touch came much easier to you than most things. Having Bucky close was your only source of comfort after he'd rescued you. His presence grounded you in a whole new world that felt like it was caving in around you.
A world where no one knew who you were but him, and you depended on him to not forget yourself.
"Let's get you to bed." Before you could say anything, Bucky had already hooked his arms around your body, lifting you up with almost zero effort. Your own found their way around his shoulder, eyes glued to his stone cold expression as he moved you nimbly over to the bed and set you down.
"Are you hungry?" He questioned further while reaching for the covers to which you'd responded with a light shake of your head.
"Just missed you." A low hum erupted from the depth of his chest.
Pulling the covers over your legs Bucky sat himself down beside you on the edge of the bed, leaning his back against the headrest before stretching his hand out in your direction, lacing his fingers through your hair.
Forget the Avengers. Your own relationship with Bucky was a mystery, if not anything else. One thing was clear, though. You were definitely not friends. At least you didn't want to be.
The years you'd spent being tortured and trained at HYDRA's base was something only he had the capability to understand. Naturally, your heart ran to him to seek any kind of empathy or comfort, but you'd both been wrung so tight that any sense of emotional sensitivity had been drained from you almost completely.
It took him a long a while, but he'd warmed up to the Avengers, finding his old best friend in Steve, a good companion in Sam, and a supportive team in everyone else.
However, it wasn't so easy for you. Bucky was all you had, and you'd worried your dependence on him in trying to fit back into society would someday become too much of a burden. The vehemence of your affection for him seemed to be concealed by the expressionless look on your face and the thought that he would someday choose to want someone who showered him with love unlike you.
Little to your knowledge, Bucky had his own apprehensions when it came to you. He'd thought being around the Avengers who'd protect you at any cost would make you feel more comfortable and safe. That it would help you open up.
That was the reason he had insisted for you to stay at the tower after the rescue mission. Well. Half of it anyway.
He couldn't stand the thought of you being alone the way he was, holeing up within the dark confines of his room. As hypocritical as it was, he cared too much to see you turn into the version of himself that he'd barely managed to escape.
You deserve to feel the warm flutter of happiness in your body. You, more than him. More than anyone.
That's why he'd rushed back to the tower halfway through his mission after you'd called, leaving Natasha to deal with the aftermath.
He could almost still feel the wind on his face from how harshly he'd revved the engine of the Harley Davidson Street 750.
"Bucky?"
You whisper softly while looking up at him, your doe eyes making him take in a deep breath. "Y-yeah?" He didn't realise how long he'd been staring or how close you'd gotten, your breaths mingling with each other, caressing the others' skin and sending shivers up and down his spine.
Close. Too close.
Too close not to do anything about it.
His metal arm that had been stroking your hair slid down to hook around the back of your neck, the cold vibranium thumb tracing circles on your jaw, and you couldn't help leaning into the touch, sucking in a breath, you closed your eyes in contentment.
"Bucky.." You purred, your cheeks filled with unfamiliar heat. Blushing? Bucky was making you blush.
Meanwhile, Bucky seemed to be awestruck as he blinked in disbelief. "You.. smiled." It was brief, a very small one, but he definitely caught it, and suddenly he couldn't think of anything more beautiful than the sight of it.
He wondered what it would take to see your lips tug upwards just a little more. To hear you laugh if he was lucky enough.
Buckys mind was clouded. Filled with the image of heaven that you'd graced him with, and suddenly he was closer, his lips hovering dangerously close to your own.
"Smile for me, doll."
Your eyes widen when his lips finally pressed against yours, knocking the wind out of you. However, it only took a few seconds for you to melt into the sensation. You had been craving it after all.
Your body began to curl up in an effort to be as close to him as possible, fingers grazing the outline of his stubble. A muffled whine slipped from your lips, causing Bucky to chuckle into the kiss before parting only slightly, an adoring look in his eyes. One you couldn't fathom was meant for you.
"Somehow, that was even better." He cooed, sliding his hand down your arm, the side of your body before resting on your hips, giving it a little squeeze.
"Come here, babydoll." He murmured with a feverish look in his eyes, using both hands to hold onto your hips and move you to straddle his lap. The pet names only served to make your ears burn hotter.
As soon as he'd settled you on top of him, you could feel how tight his pants had grown around him. Your chest heaved up and down as the alien feeling of arousal bubbled in your stomach and in between your thighs, making you squirm and let out little mewls.
"Shh, shh.. calm down, sweets. I have you." It felt like his lips had been taped into a smile. He wanted to ingraine the faces you were making in the deepest part of his thoughts. "I'm right here." He continued, leaning close to leave a trail of wet kisses down your neck, pausing at your shoulder to breathe in your scent before continuing down your collarbone, your arm all the way down to the back of your hand.
"You smell intoxicating. And you taste even better." Your breathe hitches for the millionth time. There was nothing you could think to say in response to his sweet words. Your silence was fine with him, though, because you displayed your innermost feelings on your face, and it was all he needed.
With both hands, he pressed your hips down onto him, eliciting a gasp from you. "Mm. And those delicious sounds you make. You must be an angel given human form because you make me feel like I'm in seventh heaven-" Bucky huffed out the last bit, his own chest heaving in anticipation.
You'd already showed him more emotions in that very second than you had the last few months you'd spent with him, and he was more than eager to explore what more he could pull out of you..
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stylespresleyhearted · 2 months
Text
MASTERLIST
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When I am bored or obsessed (or avoiding doing my homework which is always) I make fake IG edits for celebrities I like or bombard my favorite fic authors (who I am lucky enough to call friends) with thots & blurbs.
austin butler (coffee girl universe)
the start of it all
soft launching the relationship
five times she posted him and the one time he did
THE PRESS RUN
happy birthday ccg!
luci’s 3rd birthday
austin butler x reader
sticks & stones
austin butler in love
Callum Turner x reader
dating callum (x) (x)
callum turner, soon to be dad
pub w/ callum headcanons
—���
illicit affairs ✨
secret project 🤫
illicit affairs headcanons
Masters of the Air
john egan (acorn universe) blurb
bucky egan x innocent! reader snippet
The Major’s Wife
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fandoms-writings · 9 months
Note
How about Vampire!Bucky with “Keep your pretty eyes on me.” and “You shouldn’t be out here by yourself.”?
But like, the classic vampires of Anne Rice, not the sparkly bastards from twilight? Perhaps soft!dark too?
Love Bites
Pairing: Dark!Vampire!Bucky x Human!Reader
Word Count: 3.4K (i just can't not write long fics)
Warnings: 18+ ONLY, HEAVY DUBCON , smut, p in v sex, oral (fem receiving), blood, vampire feeding, it's kinda dark tbh, use of mind control (if i miss any please let me know so i can add it <;3)
A/N: I hope you enjoy love! this was tons of fun to write <3 thank you big time to @aquariusbarnes for beta reading for me! all mistakes are my own though.
Masterpost || Bucky Masterlist
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You sniffled as you walked, watching the stone of the old road pass under your feet. You wished you could appreciate the history of the place, really take it in like you wanted to. You wished you could enjoy this trip like you intended to. You worked so hard to get the time off, to pay for it. It was your anniversary trip, you were supposed to be having fun.
This was anything but. You'd gone to the bar with John, your piece of shit husband, and he'd excused himself to the bathroom, but when you noticed he'd been gone awhile, you went looking for him. Just to find the bathroom door locked, moans flowing out from the crack at the bottom. The bar had a strict 'no sex in the bathroom' rule, so the bouncer kicked in the door, and there was John, balls deep in a girl you recognized from the booth next to the one you'd been waiting at. 
You'd removed your ring, threw it on the ground, and stormed out, which was a shame. You loved that ring, the ruby was just gorgeous in it. But John hadn't even chased after you, it was like he was a different person. 
You thought about the way he looked at you when the bouncer kicked in the door. His pupils were blown wide and it was like he wasn't even there anymore. You did take notice of the white dust around the edge of his nose though, so maybe he wasn't there. But that's no excuse, especially because you'd never even seen him do drugs. 
"You shouldn't be out here by yourself," said a voice from behind you. It was low and soft, smooth like honey. You turned around, wiping the tears from your face before looking at your observer. "It's dangerous at night." 
You gave him a tight lipped smile, "Thanks for the warning." He stepped out from the shadow, and you couldn't help the nerves that lit on fire in your belly. He was tall, built but not too muscular, his hair was cropped short, almost like a military cut. His sharp jaw was clean shaven, and he had gentle blue eyes. 
"You alright?" He asked, gesturing to your disheveled state. You sighed, pursing your lips for a moment debating on if you should really tell a stranger your life, but you'd probably never see him again, so what's the harm? 
"I'm supposed to be here on my anniversary trip," You muttered, "but I found him cheating not even two days into our trip, so. . ." You crossed your arms, shrinking in on yourself as he approached you. 
"Well, he sounds like an idiot," He said, stopping in front of you, "He'd have to be a moron to be able to even take his eyes off of you." He held his hand out, "I'm Bucky." 
You introduced yourself, placing your hand in his and let out a small gasp when he raised your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss to your knuckles. 
"It's a pleasure to meet you, even if it was something terrible that brought you out this way." He smiled, releasing your hand. "Can I walk with you? Just make sure you get to wherever you're going safely, if nothing else." 
You hesitated. This was a stranger, in an unfamiliar city, asking to walk with you to where you were staying. It sounded like a terrible disaster just waiting to happen. You shouldn't let him come with you to the hotel. 
Before you could process what was happening, you heard your voice agree, telling him he could join you, but you didn't remember giving your mouth permission to say those things. 
He fell into step beside you, keeping his hands shoved in his pockets, only bumping your elbow with his if he was trying to show you something. He told you about the city as you walked, distracting you from the events of earlier. He stopped at an old ice cream place, buying you a small cup of your favorite flavor, and taking you to a small park bench where he sat with you while you ate. 
"Thank you," You said when you finished your cup. He took it and threw it away before coming back and sitting next to you. "You really don't have to stick with me all night. I'm sure you have places to be." 
"This is the only place I want to be right now," He looked over at you with a small smile. 
"With a stranger?" You ask, wrapping your arms around yourself. The ice cream was good, but that mixed with the small night breeze, you can't stop the chills running up your spine. Bucky took notice and stood, pulling his sweater off and offering it to you as he sat back down. 
"I'd say you're just a little more than a stranger now," He chuckled. 
"I guess you're right," You smiled. 
"Are you planning on going back to your hotel?" He asked, "Would your husband be there?" 
Fuck, he's right. Your smile falls as you think about it. Where else would John go except back to the hotel? You didn't want to stay there if he was going to be there. He had a key so he could be there already, and you weren't ready for that. You didn't want to face him right now. 
You hang your head with a sigh, the tears beginning to well in your eyes again. "I don't know. I don't want to see him, but I have nowhere else to go. And neither does he, so he would definitely be there." You wiped at your face with your hands and let out a groan. 
Bucky didn't respond immediately, but when you looked over at him to apologize for all the drama going on in your life, he looked like he was debating on telling you something. 
"What is it?" You prompted, watching as he sighed. 
"I know you just met me," he started, "and by no means do you have to accept, but I have a spare room that you are more than welcome to stay in. At least for the night, and then in the morning you can sort your hotel stuff out and go stay wherever you want." 
You went to decline, this wasn't something you would accept from a stranger for multiple reasons. You didn't know him that well, you didn't want to impose, and he could be dangerous. But it was like when he asked to walk with you earlier - it felt like your body had a mind of its own as you heard yourself agreeing to stay with him, and before you knew it, you were following him to a lavish apartment building in the middle of the city. 
"You live here?" You asked as you eyed the building in wonder, the towering skyrise seemingly reaching into the heavens. 
"I do," He smirked down at you as he held the door open for you, leading the way to the elevator. You watched as he pressed the very top floor button.
"Top floor, huh?" 
"Best view of the city, you'll see," He smiled down at you before looking forward again. You eyed him a bit - you could've swore you saw a hint of a different color in his eyes, but you couldn't get another good look to confirm. 
The elevator stopped and you pulled the sweater tighter around you, nerves beginning to set you more on edge then before as you waited for the doors to open. 
The doors opened, and he was right, the view was spectacular. 
The place was lined with floor to ceiling windows where you could see the expanse of almost the entire city below you. There were only a few lights on here and there, the place mostly lit up by the moon right out the windows. 
His decor screamed money in a dark modern luxury type of way. The furniture was all dark wood with even darker cushions. You kept him in your peripheral as you walked around the room. If you had to guess, he was probably working for the mafia, or he was a CEO of some huge company you'd never heard of. No one his age could afford this place without being famous for something. 
"You want anything to drink? Or eat?" He asked as he led the way to the kitchen, turning on lights as he went.
"Just some water would be lovely," You said, following a bit behind him. Something about this place made you uneasy, you weren't sure what it was - if it was him, or how high up you were, or the fact that for some reason you had agreed to this - but you were attempting to keep your distance just in case. 
You watched as he filled your glass and slid it across the counter in front of you, adding nothing strange to your drink in the process. 
That's good at least, you thought. He started talking about where the shower was, where you could find towels, and that he'd get you a spare change of clothes so you didn't have to smell like the bar anymore. You took him up on the offer, grabbing everything you needed before locking yourself in the grand guest bathroom. 
~~~
"This is the guest room, and I'm down the hall," Bucky stated as you followed him through the hall. You noticed none of the bedrooms had windows and you thought it was odd, but at least the sun wouldn't wake you the second it rose. 
"Thank you, for letting me stay," You said, fiddling with the edge of the shirt he gave you, your legs warmed by the fleece pants. "I really appreciate it. I owe you." 
"Of course," He smiled down at you. "You don't owe me anything," he reached forward, picking a piece of lint from your shoulder, "all I want to do is help you forget about your husband." 
Your brows scrunched together, "What?" 
"After the night you've had, don't you think you deserve to have some fun?" He suggested, reaching to cup your cheek. His hand was oddly cold, but you did just take a hot shower so you didn't think too much about it. "Say the word, and I'll make you forget about your moron of a husband. Or I'll leave you to your room." 
It was like all the air was sucked out of your lungs as you stared up at him. He wore this look of sincerity and. . . hunger? How long had it been since you'd been on the receiving end of that stare? John hadn't really cared the past few months, you'd hoped this trip would spark something in him again. He'd run off with some woman from the bar, not even 50 feet from you, so what harm would sleeping with Bucky do? 
He'd been nothing but nice to you, catering really. He'd taken care of you, though you did have those two moments where your body betrayed you in favor of his wishes. But, maybe that was your body telling you something. If anything, you'd just slip out in the morning the second the sun came up. 
Reaching up to grab his hand, you nodded, "Make me forget about him." You whispered it, but the second it left your lips, his eyes darkened, darker than you've ever seen anyone's eyes go. 
He nodded, moving to lace your fingers with his as he led you down the hall to the master bedroom. It was just as lavish as the rest of the apartment, maybe even more so. The bed was massive, lined with a deep rich red comforter and sheets that looked as soft as clouds. He pulled you to the edge of it before cupping your cheeks, pulling you in till you were just a breath away. 
"Are you sure?" He asked, looking to you for confirmation before he moved. 
"Yes," You muttered, gasping when his lips met yours. It was slow at first, the way his lips moved with yours, like he was learning how you kissed, how you liked to be kissed, before he deepened it. His tongue slipped past your lips, taking a quick taste at your mouth before retreating, like he was asking for permission - permission which you granted. 
He tasted the entirety of your mouth as he hands moved under the shirt to paw at your skin, gripping and pulling you flush against him as he groaned into your mouth. He guided you towards the bed, pulling away to let you lay across the comforter, which was as soft as you imagined. 
Laying himself above you, he slotted his knee between your legs, pushing his thigh into your warm core, smirking at the small whine you let out as your hips grinded down on his thigh. "Eager are you?" He mumbled against your lips, "Did your lousy husband never satisfy you?" 
"He used to, but not lately," it ignited a bit of shame, admitting how unfulfilled you were in your marriage, but all Bucky did was smile as his hands moved to the waistband of your pants. 
"I'll fix that," he pulled your pants gently down your legs, admiring your skin as he went. "Don't you worry." He winked at you before grabbing one of your legs and starting a trail of wet kisses up from your ankle. Suddenly, it was like all of your nerves fizzled out. You were almost completely comfortable laying there, like you belonged. 
He ran his nose up your calf and your thigh, stopping at your hip to place another wet kiss, sucking a bit on your skin and sending shivers of excitement up your spine. Pushing the shirt up over your chest, he followed it with his lips and his tongue, inhaling your skin, savoring it as long as he could. You'd never had someone be so attentive, so infatuated with you that they took their time like this. He helped you out of the shirt before settling between your thighs.
"I've barely even started and you're already dripping," He slowly said, his voice starting the butterflies in your stomach. He leaned down, placing a gentle peck to your clit, smirking when your hips jolted, trying to get more pressure. "You are eager." 
"Please," You whispered, watching with half lidded eyes, "please, Bucky." 
"Mm," he hummed, reaching up to grab your breast, gently tugging on your hardened nipple, "only because you asked so sweetly." 
He flattened his tongue along your folds before dragging it up and circling his lips around your clit, groaning into you when you let out a wanton moan. Your hands dove down, trying to grip his short cropped hair, tugging him closer with what you could grab, settling for just gripping his head. 
He ate you like he'd done this a thousand times before. He knew exactly when to speed up, and when to slow to keep you teetering on the edge, the band that quickly grew in your stomach just ready to snap. 
He pulled his tongue off of you, cooing at you when you whined at the loss, trying to pull him back. He pulled his hand from your breast, using his thumb to circle your clit, pushing on it every so slightly. 
"Now," He started, his voice raspy as he sunk a finger into your cunt, "I need just one thing from you, before I give you what you want - what you need." 
You looked down at him, swallowing the sudden nerves in your throat as you nodded. 
He smirked, his eyes going red, "I need you to stay still, and keep your pretty eyes on me." 
Your body froze and your eyes went wide. His suddenly red eyes sent a spark of fear through you, but your body wouldn't move out from under him, no matter how much you tried.  It was just like before, where your body followed his exact commands.
"Good girl," He growled as he curled his finger, brushing at that spongy spot, "I'll only take a little, I promise." His mouth opened in a hungry pant and you watched as his canines lengthened themselves into points. 
You wanted to run, to put as much distance between you and him as possible, but your body wouldn't move. He pulled at the skin of your thigh before gently sinking his fangs into you, the sharp pain only lasting a second before it went numb. You could feel him lapping at your skin, the blood flowing into his mouth.
He looked up at you for a split second before his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he moaned, the vibration running through your muscles. You shouldn't be turned on by this, you know you shouldn't, but the way he looked at you after, like you hung the sky itself, it was intoxicating. 
He pulled away gently, licking up the bit that escaped his lips before turning his attention back to you. "You taste even better than you smell." He wiped at the corner of his mouth with his free hand, licking the blood off of it before climbing up your body, curling his fingers again. 
"Now," He said, pulling his finger free from your pussy's grip on it, and pulling his cock free from his trousers, "Your turn." 
He lined himself up with your entrance after coating himself in your slick, and pushed in slowly to the hilt, filling you in a way you never knew before. He groaned once he was seated all the way in and he reached to grab your legs, holding them as he slowly started to rock into you. 
"I've been watching you since you got here," He stated, relishing in the tears that were starting in your eyes, "Your dumbass of a husband following you like a bored teenage boy. You deserve better. Then," He slammed his hips into yours, closing his eyes at the feeling of being so deep in you, "then I got a whiff of you, of your blood when you got that paper cut opening the welcoming card from your hotel. I knew I had to have you." 
He dropped one of your legs, placing his hand over your stomach, pushing down on the bulge he was creating with every thrust, the band in your stomach starting to grow tight again. "It was easy, getting him to listen to me. I found him in the bathroom, told him to fuck the girl who was gonna join him, and sent her in there." He smiled deviously down at you, an eerie hint of obsession tinting his eyes.  
"Then it was just a matter of waiting till you were far enough away from him that I could approach you," He leaned down till his nose was brushing against yours, "And fuck you're perfect. Make some noise for me, will you baby?" 
A loud moan tore itself from your throat and you couldn't stop the series of curses that left your lips as he sped up his hips, slamming into you, hitting that spongy spot over and over and over, quickly bringing you over the edge. But he stopped before you could topple over, and he gripped your cheeks, making you look at him again. 
"You'll forget about him," he ordered, "you belong to me, now." 
You couldn't remember who he was talking about, or what had happened. All you knew was that you were his, and he was yours. And he was fucking you so good. 
"That's it," He smiled when he noticed that familiar look in your eyes. His hand left your face, and his thumb circled your clit as he pounded into you again, tossing you quickly over the edge. Your orgasm washed over you in waves, your walls gripping him as he kept pumping in and out of you, quickly pushing you towards another one. 
The second one took you just a fast, your blood roaring in your ears. The smell of your blood rushing through your veins pushed him to his climax and you watched his hips stutter before painting your walls with his spend. 
"That's my girl," He panted. Once you caught your breath, he smiled down at you, "I have something for you." 
You smiled, "For me?" 
He reached for his pants without pulling out of you, and his hand dove into the pocket, pulling out a gorgeous ring. It had a silver band, with a ruby surrounded by small square cut diamonds. 
"Bucky," You gasped, "That's gorgeous, but why?" 
"My girl deserves pretty things, don't you think?" He slid it over your finger, smirking as it fit perfectly. "Look, it's like it was made for you." 
You smiled bright up at him with a laugh. "It's perfect," you muttered before reaching up to pull him down to you, slotting your lips over his, "Thank you." 
"Anything for my girl." 
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As always, thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated!
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371 notes · View notes
sambuckylibrary · 30 days
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All TFATWS Anniversary Event 2024 Fills
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Thank you to all who participated in this event! here are all the fills you created!
Week 5: No Powers AU by @funsized-loser | SamBucky Fic Rec List | Rated: N/A-E | 13 Fics + 7 Fic Writers Generally Recced |
[podfic] I Could Never Hold Your Heart In My Hand (my darling you already do) by @funsized-loser with original fic by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: T | Length: 1.5-2 Hrs | Snow White Fusion, Fantasy AU, Curse Breaking | AO3 |
Week 5: Ghost/Zombie AU by @funsized-loser | SamBucky Fic Rec List | Rated: T-E | 7 Fics + 1 Fanart |
The Romanian by @six2vii | Rated: T | WC: 5.4K | No Powers AU, Western AU, Fluff and Humor | AO3 |
Upon Faith by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: E | WC: 26.8K | Skrulls, Divorce Arc, Better Thunderbolts Ideas, Better Captain America 4 Ideas | AO3 |
Week 6: Didn't Know They Were Dating/Friends With Benefits | SamBucky Fic Rec List | Rated: G-E | 10 Fics + 1 Podfic |
Off Mission by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: T | WC: 2K | Hurt/Comfort, Better Thunderbolts Ideas, Bucky Takes Care of Sam | Off Mission |
Cheesecakes at Kitchen Tables by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: G | WC: 2.9K | Didn't Know They Were Dating, Matchmaking, POV Original Character | AO3 |
Hanging In There by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: G | WC: 3.4K | No Powers AU, Meet-Ugly, Fluff | AO3 |
Untitled by @onesmolangel | Art | Hurt/Comfort, TFATWS Episode 6 "One World, One People", Hug |
sixteen carriages driving away by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: M | WC: 3.2K | Western AU, Technically Better Thunderbolts Ideas Inspired, Hurt/Comfort | AO3 |
Very Casual by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: E | WC: 2.4K | Didn't Know They Were Dating, Friends with Benefits, Post-CATWS | AO3 |
Let Me Just Walk You Through a Hypothetical by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: G | WC: 1.5K | “Let Me Just Walk You Through a Hypothetical”, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together | AO3 |
You’re Just Gonna Set Me Up Like That, Huh? by @funsized-loser | Rated: T | WC: 986 | “You’re Just Gonnaa Set Me Up Like That, Huh?”, TW: Blood/Injury, Cute |
You’re Just Gonna Set Me Up Like That, Huh? by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: E | WC: 1.8K | “You’re Just Gonna Set Me Up Like That, Huh?”, Gay Chicken (Sort of), Actions Do Indeed Have Consequences | AO3 |
A thousand times yes by noe3489 | Rated: G | WC: 591 | Meanwhile… On the Boat, First Kiss, Love Confessions | AO3 |
Untitled by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: N/A | WC: 511 | “Let Me Just Walk You Through a Hypothetical”, Fluff, Established Relationship |
What We Want by noe3489 | Rated: G | WC: 1.6K | Divorce Arc, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed | AO3 |
“Fixing the Boat” by @thatmexisaurusrex | Art | Meanwhile… On the Boat, Gif, Domestic Fluff |
“Sam Finds the Note” and “Bucky Has Regrets” by @thatmexisaurusrex | Art | Divorce Arc, Angst, Thunderbolts Era |
Untitled by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: N/A | WC: 2.9K | “You’re Just Gonna Set Me Up Like That, Huh?”, POV Annalise (Darlene’s Friend), Tooth-Rotting Fluff |
Another Natasha by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: T | WC: 2.8K | Skrulls, Fostering, Established Relationship | AO3 |
Third Time’s The Charm by @exbex | Rated: G | WC: 3.6K | Reunite in Wakanda, Speculation for Thunderbolts, Temporary Character Death | AO3 |
Want to Live in Your Personal Space by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: E | WC: 4.4K | Laying Low, Getting Together, Bucky Barnes Takes Care of Sam Wilson | AO3 |
Soul Stone Fic Recs by @funsized-loser | Rated: T-M | SamBucky Fic Reclist | Five Fics |
Victory Party by @funsized-loser | Rated: T | WC: 1.3K | Victory Party, Bittersweet, Let Sam Grieve His Lost Friend |
and if you go chasing rabbits by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: T | WC: 4.5K | Soul Stone, Getting Together (Sort of), Bittersweet | AO3 |
Acting Weird by noe3489 | Rated: N/A | WC: 1.4K | “Can you move your seat up?”, Preslash, Idiots in Love | AO3 |
Never Hit Send, Never Called Again by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: N/A | WC: 3.2K | 6 Months of Ghosting, Post-Endgame, Texting |
Sam Gets Ghosted for Six Months / Bucky Loses His Nerve for Six Months by @thatmexisaurusrex | SamBucky Fanart | 6 Months of Ghosting, Bittersweet, Gifs |
“I don’t think he’s the kind you save.” by @thatmexisaurusrex | art | SamBucky Edit, “I don’t think he’s the kind you save”, enemies to lovers.
The Exact Kind of Guy You Save (And Who Saves You) by noe3489 | Rated: G | WC: 523 | “I don’t think he’s the kind you save”, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Relationship | AO3 |
Sam Searches for Bucky by @funsized-loser | Rated: M | WC: 1.1K | Sleeping Together, Sam Searches For Bucky, Fluff But a Little Bittersweet |
Right moment by noe3489 | Rated: T | WC: 1.3K | Sam Searches for Bucky, Past Sam Wilson/Riley, Hurt/Comfort | AO3 |
The Kind You Save by @abarbaricyalp | Rated: N/A | WC: 1.2K | “I don’t think he’s the kind you save”, this one’s angsty y'all, “You’re the one who gets saved.” hits you like a ton of bricks |
Distraction Tactics by @thatmexisaurusrex | Rated: T | WC: 1.1K | “Can you move your seat up?”, crack treated seriously, fluff with light angst | AO3 |
Acting Weird by noe3489 | Rated: N/A | WC: 803 | “Can you move your seat up?”, Pre-Slash, Idiots in Love | AO3 |
Won’t Let You Fall by @exbex | Rated: T | WC: 776 | Team Up at the Airport, Feelings Realization, Getting Together | AO3 |
At the airport by noe3489 | Rated: G | WC: 1K | Team up at the Airport, Pre-Slash, POV Steve Rogers | AO3 |
Post-WS/Sam-Finds-Bucky fics by @abarbaricyalp | SamBucky Fic Reclist | Rated: G-E | Seven Fics |
65 notes · View notes
oopspeter · 8 months
Text
We'll never have sex
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SUMMARY: Returning from a year long mission should be a relief, but the terrors from those hard months have followed you back home. Struggling to find comfort in your old ways, a certain co-worker introduces you to his own salvation-- distraction.
WARNINGS: 16+ rating for mature themes, blood, allusions to torture, foul language, minor to medium injury descriptions, weapons and violence.
WC: 3.6K
NOTES: First fic! Please let me know what you think-- it hasn't been proofread very well.
"Are you taller than the last time I saw you?" You tease, in awe of his largely built physique.
"I guess everything finally loosened after being off of the ice for so long," Bucky says rather non-chalant.
"Has the giant stick finally fallen out of your ass then?" You quip with a cheeky grin.
"Never," he shakes his head with an equally matched smile.
"And decided to evolve from that 'lord and saviour' haircut?" You motion to his new trim.
"I've decided that look only suits the holiest of men, which of course I don't qualify for," he instinctively runs his fingers through the chopped locks.
The sound of a heavy heel echoes on the polished concrete, a grand entrance for the one and only Tony Stark.
"Hermit and the recluse!" His hands spread out like an awful gesture of welcome.
"I thought you were too old for modern hip-hop references, Anthony," you push your lips into a thin line, refusing to give him the satisfaction.
"Puh-lease, as if gramps here even knows what I'm yapping about," Tony points his thumb over his shoulder at Bucky as he walks past.
Even though he was totally right, Bucky also refrained from producing any sort of a reaction.
"Here to spread anything useful or are you just trying to be a dick?" Your current distaste for the playboy was evident in your tone, but it was nothing new. Deep down inside you did feel a sense of protectiveness towards him, as did he to you.
Opening the large, stainless steel refrigerator that looked like it could hold at least six months worth of food at a single time, he snatched a bottle of lemon water before slamming the door shut again.
"Since you're back, Banner wants to do a few procedural run throughs just to check up on your health," he flicks the cap off of the bottle which goes flying into the bin. "Oh, and the Star Spangled Banner would like to see you as well-- not the Bruce Banner, but the Star Spangled one."
"You can just say Steve, you know that right?" You squint at him as he daintily sips from the mouthpiece of the bottle.
"Just proving my vocabulary has extended further than the most generic white-man name in America," he shrugs coolly, and you kinda' wanna punch him in his smug face.
The ex-soldier stands as still as stone beside you during your exchange with Tony, if you couldn't see the gentle rise and fall of his chest you'd think he was dead with the lack of noise emitting. Choosing to ignore him, the man takes the cue to leave the room, still feverishly sipping the bottle of lemony water. Once the sound of his heavy heels disappeared out of the kitchen and down the hallway, you noticed how Bucky's shoulders relax.
"Bet you're dreading being back, huh?" You allow to corner of your mouth to turn upwards slightly.
"I could say the same thing to you."
There's an unspoken tension in the air, something far from awkward but not any nearer to comfortable either. Had it been a year and a half since you last saw him? On his six month mission to Angola, at the fourth month you had been sent off on a mission of your own in the Pacific islands to track down an old HYDRA associate who had formulated a plan to obliterate the entire planet from his tiny laboratory in the middle of bum-fuck no where.. no biggie, right?
The seemingly short mission of yours turned into a solo, twelve month exhibition trying to chase a man who was half the size of yourself and almost as clever. Eventually when you caught up to him and the few friends he had made along the way, the year job was over in thirty seconds. Underwhelming.
Sure, you’d escaped death a few times, but not by the man who you’d been hunting. Turns out there were a few other undesirables along your path that you just couldn’t miss the opportunity to lock up. Maybe that was a bit of a roadblock, too.
“I don’t want to keep Bruce waiting, I’ll uh.. see you later?” It was a hopeful question.
“Certainly,” he nods his head in reply, and your heart skips a beat or two.
You blame the heart issues on being so emotionally disconnected from anyone for the past twelve months.
The appointment with Bruce was swift, you chat for more of the time than you did actually doing the check up. He prescribed you with a few pain meds, re-dressed some wounds you’d brought back with you and altered your fitness plan to better accommodate your new injuries. Bruce had a way when it came to making people feel safe, despite the fact any moment a big green monster could jump out and crush you.
There were the usual questions like, how has your diet been-- have you been getting enough sleep-- are the night terrors still occurring-- any unusual pains-- are you sexually active?
The answer has always been something along the lines of nutritious, not at all, all of the time, plenty and no.
It's hard to maintain a sex life being away all the time and locking yourself in your room when you are around, even harder trying to manage a relationship. Sure, you've dated before, dabbled in a love life or two before inevitably deciding it wasn't for you. It never will be for you.
It's far past nightfall by the time you actually decide to leave your room, walking barefoot through the long, cold halls of the tower before finding yourself in the kitchen. Your stomach growls to protest your hunger, throat scratchy and dry as symptoms of your thirst. The automatic lights flicker on the moment you walk through the threshold into the kitchen. A pristine, clean kitchen soon to become the next victim of your horrific cooking skills.
First of all you grab a glass from it's respective cabinet, running the water from the tap to fill it up. Your lips meet the mouth of the glass and you drink, quenching your thirst with a relieved sigh. The water here is refreshing, hygienic, in great contrast to what you've been drinking for the past year. Feeling the coolness in your palms you go to take another sip.
It's metallic, tastes like you've drunk straight from a muddy puddle. The water they have just thrown on your face definitely mixed with the blood dripping from your nose and clinging to your lips. Coughing up a mix of flehm and mucky water, you thrash around in the flimsy wooden chair you've been restrained to.
The room smells of mildew, wet dog fur, and something that is heavily rotting. You can blame the stink of decomposition on whatever is beneath that blue tarp tucked away in the far corner of the room. There's no light aside from a single bulb eerily hanging above your head like some old, cliché horror movie.
Your wrists hurt more than usual and this time you can't blame it on early on-set arthritis, but instead the finger-marks imprinted in a purplish green and the thick rope that rubs against them. The silhouette hiding in the dark approaches you in the light, the indistinguishable appearance morphing into that of a tall man with a mask that hid his face and resembled a smiling monkey. It would be the least menacing thing in the room if he wasn't wielding a knife as large as your forearm.
It's silent aside from the obnoxious drip from the ceiling on the tarp. Drip. Drip. Drip. The face of the knife shines in your eye, reflecting from the light of the bulb hanging from the ceiling. His feet drag along the crusty floor, it's evident he has a limp by the way he carries himself towards you. If you had a free leg or two you'd drive your foot straight into his knee to completely eliminate that problem for him, forever; but how tightly they had bound you prevented even a nudge of movement.
The masked man is close enough for your knees to touch, taking the tip of the sharp knife and dragging it across your cheek to leave a light mark that brings blood in it's wake. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of even a slight whimper which evidentially leaves him unsatisfied, because the knife leaves your face and dives into your--
"Hey, are you okay?"
The glass in your hand shatters completely, hundreds of shards diving and piercing the skin on your palm, the water that was left now drenching your socks. Were you holding it so tightly that the sudden fright made it break?
Swinging around with a crimson hand you find an equally shocked Bucky, lips slightly ajar as a physical indication of his surprise. Not even a moment later he's rushing over with a dishtowel to wrap around your bleeding hand, the white terry cloth quickly becoming stained. You can tell he's panicked by the rise and fall of his shoulders, yet you are struggling to even breathe.
The rotting and mildew is replaced by lemon disinfectant and lingering cooked onion. A dark, dank room now replaced by a pristine, white kitchen. The man in front of you is not a man who wears the mask of a monkey, but instead the one and only Bucky Barnes.
"Fuck, fuck," he has the towel wrapped so tightly around your palm. "We need Banner--"
"No!" You interrupt him, finally finding your own voice. "I don't want to wake him, please don't disturb him."
"Then what do I do?" You can tell he is trying his best to keep his composure and not snap at you for being so stubborn like he has so many times before.
"Get the kit from under the sink, wait for the bleeding to calm and I can take the remaining shards out of my hand," you instruct.
"I will take the remaining shards out of your hand," he corrects. "Keep pressure on it please."
His callous hand places your other hand on top of the towel, pushing the back of it down to apply the same pressure he was before. He's rushing to grab the kit from beneath the kitchen sink, taking his hand to shove all of the bleach bottles aside instead of carefully rummaging through.
You've already made your way to the island, taking a seat at the bar stool and leaning your elbow against the marble. It fucking stings. You have no idea how you transported all the way back into the room after shoving the memory so far down to the depths where you thought it could never recover.
You take in his evening look, those baggy grey sweatpants a signature at-home look of his. The creased t-shirt a dark navy and border lining a compression tee from the way it hugs his torso and biceps so tightly. There are bags under his eyes like there always is, and his brows are pulled tightly together in deep concern.
Your heart does that concerning thing again. Perhaps the bloodloss?
He stands beside you at the end of the counter, the fine marble a slight barrier between your bodies. He unzips the kit with such force you're surprised the entire thing hasn't ripped. He's panicked, you can tell.
"Hey," your uninjured hand reaches out to lightly touch your wrist. "Breathe, it's okay, I'm not dying."
Bucky pauses, and he isn't breathing-- until he does. His tense shoulders drop and his face finally relaxes, then he moves your hand back to apply pressure to the towel.
The silence between you is intense and lasts for what feels like forever. You can tell there's a question on the tip of his tongue that he's too afraid to ask, and you've got a feeling you're not quite sure how to answer it either why. You're not sure why you broke the glass, or why you became absent for so long, or why you were back in that room again.
"Why are you awake?" He interrupts your escape into your own head.
"I couldn't sleep," you answer honestly. "Neither could you?"
Bucky shakes his head in reply. "No, I couldn't."
"Never can." You both say in unison.
There's a pause.
"I'm sorry for scaring you," he doesn't look you in the eyes, instead stares at the red cloth covering your hand.
"You didn't mean to," you shake your head with reassurance, offering a small smile to show that you aren't upset with him at all.
"What if I did?" The corner of his lip upturns.
"Then we'd have a bit of a problem, wouldn't we?" Your tone is playful.
"How about we leave the sparring for after, when all of the glass is out of your hand y'know," he shrugs jokingly.
"Right," you nod your head in agreeance, pulling the towel back to reveal the palm of your hand.
It's definitely not the prettiest thing you've ever seen, but not the worst either. There's only one significantly deep cut but the rest just brushed the surface few layers of skin. Bucky is quick to get to work with the tweezers, disinfectant and plasters.
As he works on mending your hand you can't help but look at his face.
Compared to the last time you saw him there's a scar or two more on his right cheekbone, a significant healed slash across the bridge of his nose, a few extra wrinkles in the corner of his eyes. The stubble on his jaw, chin and upper lip is well maintained and lacks intensity on his neck. The cropped look suits him, hints of grey coming through as a reminder of his aging body now that he has been off the all the chemicals and the ice.
Your eyes trace his side profile, from his hairline to his forehead, eyebrows to the tip of his nose, nose to his lips, lips to his chin and then back to his lips. They're pursed as a habit of concentration, blue eyes trained on the task at hand (literally).
Though it stings, it's practically painless with the way he leans into the counter to reach you. Your heart is skipping again, but this time you think you know why.
"Done," he claps his hands together. "I definitely recommend seeing Banner tomorrow though, even though I spend my weekends fixing myself up I sure as hell ain't a doctor."
"You did a mighty fine job anyways, Mr Barnes," you admire his handy work, though you definitely need that deeper cut a proper look at tomorrow. It'll definitely stop the bleeding and keep it all together for the meantime.
The tension resumes it's place between you, it's palpable.
Your stomach growls in the quiet room.
"Are you hungry?" He quirks a brow.
"Yeah, I was initially in here to cook," you nod your head and rub your forearm with your uninjured hand sheepishly. "Kinda' foiled now." You wave your now bandaged hand.
"Can I take you somewhere?" He's polite, and looks at you like an expectant puppy. You can't help but grin.
"Sure."
It’s a stones throw, or two, from the tower before you finally arrive at your destination. The roaring of his motorbike falls to silence as he uses his heel to push out the kickstand, leaning the bike on it and throwing his leg over to hop off. Reaching his hand out he offers to help you down, which you gracefully accept, placing your hand in the palm of his own and jumping out of your seat.
Dinner was gorgeous. Some little, family owned, Thai place hidden in Brooklyn, where the women knew Bucky’s name and the men shook his hand. They presented you both with a free entrée. It sure as hell made you forget about that little episode in the kitchen. The second the food met your tongue you practically melted into your seat, and Bucky laughed as if to say ‘I know, right!’
Conversation flowed easily, any moment of silent was just a cause of food being stuffed into your mouths. He didn’t ask why you couldn’t sleep, or why you were in such a state and broke the glass. Bucky knew you’d tell him when you were ready.
A shared plate of Khao Niew Ma Maung and a more than generous tip later, you find yourself standing outside of the door to your room. Laughter echoes down the empty, dimly lit hall as you keep at least a foot between you— not daring to even brush arms. His strong featured are illuminated by the shadows, and that funny feeling rests heavily in your chest.
There’s a blanket of silence that falls between you two, not wanting this quiet moment to end. You can see the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and if the super soldier hearing was true he’d definitely be able to hear the heavy beat of your heart.
“Thank you,” you break the silence. “I— tonight was lovely.”
Bucky hums. “It was.”
Neither of you move a muscle, an invitation lingering on the tip of your tongue.
You open your mouth to speak. “Do you—”
“Yes, please.”
Inside your room is sweet, the bed is made with the cosiest of sheets, books stack shelves accompanied by little trinkets you display proudly. Flicking a match you ignite your pumpkin-scented candle for a source of light, the blinds already automatically pulled down on the floor-to-ceiling windows. If the crisp, untouched sheets were not enough of a sign that you couldn’t find rest, perhaps the growing bags under your eyes were.
Respectfully he kicks his shoes off at the door before stepping on your plush carpet, shrugging off his own jacket and neatly placing it on the back of your desk chair. He’s never been in your room, no one has besides Banner who stumbled in panicked to find you a shaking mess on the floor. That’s a story for another time.
You lay on top the bedspread and rest your head on the plush pillow, hands intertwining on your stomach as you stare at the ceiling. Letting out a gentle sigh you feel the mattress dip to the right of your feet.
“You can lay with me, don’t be shy.”
He’s hesitant to do so, but you can feel the warmth of his body as he lays parallel to yourself. You can smell his cologne and it’s much nicer than your expensive candle.
“I like what you’ve done with the place,” he motions with his hand that you can see in your peripherals.
“You thought I’d be happy with the Stark furniture they so kindly gifted us all when we first moved in?” You put a certain emphasis on the word, which causes him to chuckle. The bed shakes under his weight, and the butterflies flutter.
“I think I broke the bed frame on the third day,” he shuffles beside you, you can tell there’s a smile on his face that matches yours.
“Holy shit, who did you do?”
“No— no— not from that!” He’s quick to jump in and defend himself, evidently flustered. “Turns out the billionaire couldn’t spare the few extra dollars to buy something that could hold 260lbs.”
“So what, you were just sleeping and it collapsed beneath you?” You turn your head slightly to glance at his face.
“I mean I kinda’ face planted on it after I got home from a frustrating mission, and it just splintered beneath me.”
“Oh god,” you cover your mouth with your hand to stifle a giggle. “I would’ve paid to see that.”
“I was pissed,” he shakes his head, turning it slightly to look into your eyes. “I stormed through the complex and kicked open Stark’s door.”
“Did you get a new bed frame?”
“No, my mattress is still on the floor.”
“I think you need to make another complaint to head office then.”
“You bet,” he shakes his head with a heavy sigh, but the upturn of his mouth tells you that it’s the least of his worries right now.
There’s a certain tension in the air as his cerulean eyes drown in your own, nothing but the crackling of the candle wick and your combined breaths filling the void.
“Thank you, for taking me out tonight,” your eyes trace his jaw to his lips before flicking back to his own. “I—I wasn’t doing too well.”
“I know,” he nods his head in understanding. “I should be thanking you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mrs Nguyen so happy to see me walk through that door with someone other than myself.”
“Is that why she’d check on our table every five minutes despite the fact we were the only people dining there?”
He chuckles, running his hand through his chopped hair. “Seems so.”
For the first time in a very long time, you feel your lids getting heavy as your body sinks further into the mattress. There’s a warmth rather than that awful cool you feel so often, and it’s starting to become a challenge to keep your eyes open.
After what feels like an eternity of struggle you lift your head slightly to notice how Bucky’s lashes now rest on his cheeks, lips parted to let out quiet breaths. And suddenly in this moment you are safe, and everything is okay.
Your lips meet his forehead in a soft, gentle kiss. “Thank you.” Before you rest your head a little closer to his own and fall into a sleep you’d been praying for.
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lavenderpanic · 9 months
Text
Steve should have died on Vormir. I know it would've sucked to not see him in the final fight scene and you'd have to reconfigure a lot of the rest of the movie but I DON'T CARE nothing sucks as much as the ending he got. I can think of three ways that this could have gone.
1) Steve and Natasha go to Vormir and have a very similar fight as Natasha and Clint in canon. Natasha believes she doesn't deserve to survive and Steve is this perfect hero so obviously he has to survive but he manages to sacrifice himself. Then I think she should actually go on to have Steve's ending and go back in time to stop the red room from forming. I also think that this option provides some extra angsty potential, like Steve says he doesn't want to go on living when he's lost Bucky, etc. etc. Something like that. Plus the thought of Natasha being the one to give Sam the shield on Steve's behalf makes me tear up.
2) Steve and Tony go to Vormir and it acts as a post-Civil War reconciliation kind of thing and they get closure before Steve sacrifices himself. Then Tony could carry that guilt and grief through the rest of the movie and that could be why he's so willing to sacrifice himself at the end of the movie. I think Natasha would also get Steve's ending if this is what happened.
3) My personal favorite, Steve and Bucky go to Vormir. I know that this would require that Bucky wouldn't be dusted, but THINK ABOUT THE ANGST. THINK ABOUT THE PARALLELS. Steve falling to his death the same way Bucky did, Bucky living with that guilt afterwards, Bucky arguing that he's a horrible person and he deserves to die, I'M GONNA CRY. I need to write a fic about this. And think about Bucky being the one to give Sam the shield I'M GONNA SOB. Plus, the fact that RED SKULL is on Vormir?? What a perfect ending. AND THINK ABOUT THE NATASHA/BUCKY POSSIBILITIES. Natasha promising to free that timeline's Winter Soldier when she goes back in time to return the stone/stop the red room from forming so that, at least in another universe, Bucky and Steve can live the life they deserved??? I'm actually starting to cry.
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nicoline1998enilocin · 4 months
Note
Hi Nicoline😌❤️ I wonder if your any fandom fluff is open to requests?👀
If so, I want to ask for a neighbor(or roommate) Steve and reader. Maybe they had a small fight over something (something like Steve's date screamed too loud when he brought her home?) and neither of them apologized to the other.
reader: "you listen to me-"
Steve: "NO YOU LISTEN TO ME. I'm done with your attitude and your bullshit. I fuck whoever I please whenever I please. It's not like you haven't made any noise when you're fucking yourself over some toy. So zip it up because you are not any better"
And the next thing you know, you are competing who can make the other one moan louder and you end up fucking👀🤭
Listen
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PAIRING | Steve Rogers x Avenger!Fem!Reader
WORD COUNT | 3.4K
SUMMARY | Working together with your ex is already difficult enough, but the fact that you're sleeping in the bedroom next to him isn't much better. Since the two of you have broken up, Steve has brought home many women, and you are starting to lose sleep because they keep making too much noise. When you try to get Steve to stop, the conversation takes an unexpected turn, and you end up in his bed again.
RATING | Explicit (E)
WARNINGS/TAGS | Natasha being a good friend, Steve is an asshole in this
ANGST | Swearing, lots of fighting between Steve and Reader
SMUT | Exes hooking up, hate/revenge sex, dirty talk, heavy degradation, daddy kink, nipple play, hair pulling, spanking, choking, Steve has no refractory period, oral (M receiving), face/throat fucking, deepthroating, facial/cumming on face, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), belly bulge, squirting, implied aftercare.
A/N | @jamneuromain I cannot thank you enough for the amazing request for this square! This is my first time writing a fic like this, but it was a lot of fun, and I look forward to doing it again. I want to thank @late-to-the-party-81 for beta-reading this story; without your help, it wouldn't have gotten to what it is now. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing this! 💚
EVENTS Masterlist | @anyfandomfluffbingo | I3: "No, you listen to me." Masterlist | @fandom-free-bingo | B5: Exes Hook Up Masterlist | @sweetspicybingo Sweethearts | My Bed Now
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Banners: Yours truly | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Source
Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist
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Lately, you've been losing more sleep than you can afford, especially with the number of missions you've been going on. Every night, Steve has a different woman over, which is fine in and of itself if it weren't for the fact that they are never quiet. It's like he wants to rub it in your face that he is getting laid on the regular, and you're making good use of your trusty vibrator.
You have always been warned about getting together with colleagues, but when you met Steve, he was a gentleman, taking care of everything you could desire until the flame between you fizzled out. The moment you two parted ways was sad for you both, but it was clear then that your relationship had run its course.
However, tonight has been especially brutal on you, and you even tried wearing earplugs to bed without success. Their combined moans and groans, the spanking and her screaming carried through everything, and you ended up with less than three hours of sleep. You managed to drag yourself out of bed and into the kitchen, but as soon as you saw Steve all lovey-dovey with his latest 'prize,' a stone dropped into your stomach, and you suddenly weren't hungry anymore.
Bucky, Tony, Sam, and Natasha were all eating their breakfast in peace, but as soon as Nat saw the look on your face, she picked up her food, ready to lead you out of the room.
"C'mon, let's go somewhere else," she says before hooking your arm through hers and leading you to her bedroom. Tears start gathering in the corners of your eyes as you reach it; however, they're not because of jealousy but because of pure anger.
"Jesus, does he have to rub it in our faces like that?! It's fucking unbelievable that he’s moved on within the blink of an eye; it's disgusting, actually," you tell Natasha as you're pacing in her room.
"You do realize he never moved on, right?" she asks, and you stop in your tracks before looking at her with narrow eyes.
"What do you mean? He has a new girl over there every day," you tell her, but she shakes her head.
"It's just his way of hiding his pain. He feels like he's made a huge mistake by leaving you. I know your relationship didn't work anymore, but he feels he could have - should have - done more. Bucky told me about it a few weeks ago," and with those words, you let yourself sink onto the couch, wondering what could have been.
"You know, I honestly couldn't care less about the fact that he's fucking everything that moves, but they don't have to rub it in my face like that; it's starting to get to me that they're so loud, I barely sleep anymore because of them... It's like he forgets that not everyone is a super soldier like him."
Natasha looks at you with understanding, and she puts her plate to the side before standing up and grabbing your hand, guiding you to her bed.
"Why don't you sleep here for a while? I'll cover for you with Tony, and you can take the day off today to recover a bit," she tells you, and you happily agree. As soon as your head hits the pillow, you're asleep, and Nat goes to have an important talk with Steve.
"You, out of here. I need to speak with Steve," she says with a pointed tone to his latest conquest as she returns to the kitchen, and she looks offended at the redhead in front of her. With a raised brow, Nat silently threatens her, not needing to say a single word before the other woman scrambles away without saying anything.
"Was that really necessary, Nat?" Steve asks curtly, clearly unhappy with her rudeness. However, she isn't fazed and instead cuts straight to the point, not worrying about who else can hear.
"Why are you fucking everything with a pulse?" she asks, and Bucky almost chokes on his breakfast as he hears it. Sam and Tony go wide-eyed at her question and are suddenly very interested in each other, not wanting to be on the receiving end of Natasha's words right now.
"Since when is that any of your business, Romanoff?"
"It wasn't until I almost got killed during our last mission because of it. Y/N is barely sleeping because of you and your ''ladies'', and we're risking our lives out there because of you!" she spits out at him, and for a second, Steve's heart hurts at the mention of your name. However, the feeling is gone almost as soon as it comes up.
''It's not my fault she can't sleep; I'm just having fun, and what I do in my spare time shouldn't matter to anyone. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some important business to tend to," Steve says as he gets up, but Natasha is not letting him go anywhere as she grabs his arm, squeezing her long nails into his bicep.
"Just talk to her, for Christ's sake; that's all I'm asking! And keep it down during the night; she's not the only one losing sleep over the dying cats you seem to find every night," Natasha tells him, and with that, he rips his arm away, stomping out of the living room and heading to the gym, needing to let his frustrations out.
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Things have improved in the first few days after Natasha talked to Steve. Even though he has brought some more women back (because 'every woman wants a chance with Captain America' as Steve says it), he has managed to keep it down, and you have gotten a solid six to seven hours of sleep, which instantly brightens your mood. It's not where you want it to be, but it's better than nearly no sleep.
"Mornin' everyone!" you say happily as you walk into the kitchen again, but your mood instantly sinks when you find Steve standing at the counter, his latest conquest sitting upon it with her arms wrapped around his neck as they make out.
"Can't you two get a room or something? Not everyone wants to see this in the morning," you tell Steve, the venom dripping from your voice. He promptly pulls away before turning to you, leaving the girl you couldn't care less about alone.
"What the fuck is your problem, Y/L/N? As far as I know, you ended things between us because you didn't feel anything for me. And now you suddenly care about every single thing I do? Seems a bit odd if you ask me," Steve scoffs, and you're starting to see red at the edges of your vision.
"You're such an ass, you know that?! You act perfect and gentleman-like, but nothing could be further from the truth. You couldn't care any fucking less about anything or anyone around you, and you're a disgusting piece of crap. Sleeping with everything that moves every single night, moaning the wrong name during sex almost every night? I'm not deaf, you know," you throw back in his face. The response he gives, however, has your blood boiling.
"Really? You never heard me complain when you moaned Bucky when we had sex!" he tells you, which makes you lose every last bit of control. As soon as Bucky hears his name, he turns a deep shade of red, not wanting to be involved in whatever is happening between you.
"You're so... ugh! I fucking hate you, Rogers!" you scream in his face before turning around and running away, not wanting to be near him any longer. Tears are streaming down your face, and Natasha is running after you, feeling horrible for everything that has just gone down. It's not like he didn't deserve it, but it was still a low blow for him to expose something so private.
"Hey, let's just breathe for a bit, okay? I know he hurt you, but if we calm you down, you won't go down that same spiral again, alright?" Nat says as she pulls you into her arms. You and Steve rarely fight, but when it does happen, you tend to go down a problematic spiral. Natasha desperately wants that not to happen again - she doesn’t want to lose you.
"It's okay, Detka, I'm here with you; just let it all out," she reassures and calms you. The sobs wreaking havoc on your body are heart-wrenching, and the screams are cutting right through everything, but it's precisely what you need right now. After what seems like forever, you calm down, though you're tired beyond belief. It has drained every last bit of energy from you, so you can barely stand on your legs.
"Here, let's get you on the bed, okay? I'm not going anywhere; I'll be here the entire time," Natasha tells you as she sits against your bed's headboard, and you crawl under the covers. You rest your head in her lap, and her long fingers rake through your hair, and soon, you're lulled into a deep, dreamless sleep.
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Steve has been gone for an extended undercover mission, meaning you’ve finally gotten some proper sleep, and the few weeks he’s been gone have been nothing short of heaven. You did expect him to bring another woman along when he returned, but he didn't, much to your surprise.
That morning, you both come out of your bedrooms simultaneously. You are dressed in a sports outfit, ready for the gym, and Steve is only wearing a pair of tight sweatpants that show off how his muscles bulge in the most delicious manner. It's almost as if he’s doing it on purpose.
"Can we talk?" Steve asks you, and even though you're not in the mood, you give in anyway.
"Sure," you sigh before turning around and heading to Steve's room. You're secretly hoping he will apologize, although you also know that's not at all likely to happen. When you're in his room, the door slams shut behind you, and you're all alone with him. Everything inside looks so familiar, yet so strange at the same time. Some things were items you’d picked out for him, and others were new,  added after you broke up.
"Steve, I need you to listen to me-"
"No, you listen to me! I'm done with your attitude and your bullshit, Y/N. I fuck whoever I please, whenever I please! It's not like you haven't made any noise when you're fucking yourself over some lousy toy! So zip it up because you're not any better," Steve tells you as he's pointing his finger in your face.
What you do next is something you never would have expected in a million years. Your hand reaches out for his as you pull him closer, your lips crashing together in a bruising kiss that leaves you both breathless. All the pent-up anger and resentment is finally coming out, though not in the way you had thought. 
Steve's hands quickly move to the zipper of your sports bra, revealing your breasts and perked nipples to the room as the fabric falls away, his large hands enveloping them with kneading motions, making you moan into his mouth.
"God, listen to you, already moaning like a pathetic slut for me, and I haven't even touched you properly yet," Steve tells you, but all you know is how good he can make you feel with just his hands. The way he tugs and squeezes your nipples between rolling them has you moaning loudly and arousal flooding your panties. In this moment, all of the hurt between you disappears, and you become the woman who used to welcome him into your bed gladly.
"Y-yes!" you whine, your brows knitted together and your mouth slack.
"What are you?"
"A-a pathetic s-slut! Just for you, Daddy, 'm y-your p-pathetic slut," you tell him, and you feel his cock jump against your thigh as you call him Daddy, a name reserved solely for him. You don’t know why you called him that the first time you were together, but both of you quickly discovered that you liked it, and it became a staple part of your dynamic until the end. His sweatpants are straining against his cock, and before you can think about what's happening, he pushes you down on your knees and lowers his sweatpants.
"Suck my dick, you slut; it's the only fucking thing your mouth is good for anyways," he says as he grabs your head, your mouth already opening on instinct. The feeling of his cock on your tongue is instantly calming, and your lips wrap around him immediately, sucking him down without him needing to say anything else.
"That's it, put that mouth of yours to some good use for Daddy," he groans before he slowly starts to fuck your mouth, sliding deeper and deeper into your throat until you can feel his balls slapping against your chin and his pubic bone makes contact with your nose.
Loud moans escape from his chest, and you can't help but feel proud at the way you're making him feel, that it's you pulling these sounds from him.
Steve grabs a tighter hold of your head, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes as he sets an almost brutal pace, fucking your throat in earnest, only concerned with chasing his high. Your thighs are clenching to give yourself some relief, and your nails are digging deeply into his thighs to the point of almost drawing blood, but Steve doesn't care.
"That's it, take it! Doing so good for Daddy," he praises you, and you can't help but feel a little warmth bloom inside you. The tears you had are now streaming down your face in a rapid motion, but all you can do is breathe through your nose as Steve keeps up his pace, his orgasm building quickly.
"Almost there; are you going to let Daddy cum all over this face of yours? Will you be a perfect little cumslut and let Daddy cum all over your face?" he asks as he pulls out of your mouth, leaving you feeling empty. Despite this, you nod in response as you open your mouth and stick out your tongue.
"Such an obedient slut for me today," he praises, and you preen under his words. His fist wraps around his cock before jerking it quickly, the ragged breaths and groans coming from him increasing with every move until the first drops of his cum squirt out, landing on your tongue. His orgasm seems to be never-ending, more and more of his cum shooting all over your face, making a mess that only serves to arouse you further.
"Look at you, such a dirty fucking slut, but you love that, don't you? To be used as Daddy's cumdump? Yeah, you do,'' Steve says with a wicked grin, and he scoops some of his cum from your cheek before shoving his fingers in your mouth, and you lick them clean for him.
"My bed, now," he orders, and you scramble up; despite the soreness in your knees, you manage to get there relatively quickly.
"Take off your pants, and get on your hands and knees," he says, and you do as he asks, the fabric quickly discarded before you present yourself before him. You know he’s looking at your pussy, able to see how wet you are for him
"Look at you, all ready to take Daddy's fat cock! That's all you've wanted, right? To be railed by my fat cock inside your pussy? Bet you only think about me when you're with someone else or when you're fucking yourself on that pathetic toy of yours," Steve spits out, the degradation only making you hornier.
"Y-yes Daddy! Need your cock," you tell him, and he takes his place behind you before sliding in with one single thrust. He hasn’t taken any time to prepare you, so the intrusion initially burns, but the discomfort quickly subsides as he thrusts in with an unrelenting pace.
You can't keep your moans and whines in even if you want to, and when Steve lands a hard spank on your ass, you scream his name loudly. At this point, you don't care who can hear you, all you know is how good Steve is making you feel as he fucks you nearly into oblivion.
"Let everyone know who’s making you feel this good, you dirty fucking slut! You want the entire Compound to know who's fucking you like this, hmm?" he asks, and all you can do is nod.
"Well, let them hear it!” he demands. “Who's making you feel this good?"
"Y-you, Daddy! Daddy m-makes me feel t-this good!" is all you can manage between his violent thrusts. Your ass is getting sore from the brutal pace Steve has set, as well as the brief spanking he gave you. Your arms gave out a while ago, your face mushed into the covers, and your pussy throbbed, but you don't want to let Steve win; you're determined not to let him get to you.
"Pussy feels like heaven, missed your pussy so much, you know that? Nothing ever came close to how perfect yours is! Such a sweet pussy, letting me in whenever I want," Steve groans before leaning forward and grabbing your throat and pulling you back against his chest.
"Daddy!" you scream out at the change of positions, and he squeezes your throat, constricting your airflow enough to have you feeling lightheaded and floaty but not so much to risk you passing out. His other arm is wrapped around your belly where he can feel himself.
"Fuck! I'm so deep in your sweet cunt I can feel myself in your belly!" Steve exclaims with a grin, picking up the pace as he shifts his angle slightly. You let out a strangled scream at the way he hits your sweet spot like this, your legs shaking uncontrollably.
You know that if it weren't for Steve holding you up, you would have collapsed by now, and the position he has you in has your nerve endings feel like they're on fire. All you need now is just a little stimulation on your clit to be sent head-first into your orgasm, a fact that Steve is well aware of..
"What's wrong? Does my slut need to cum?" he coos as you nod, but instead of giving you what you want, he constricts your airflow entirely and sets an even harsher pace, all while groaning loudly. As the edges of your vision go white, Steve suddenly lets go. You inhale deeply, and a mind-bending orgasm works through your body.
"Jesus, fuck! Look at you, squirting all over the fucking bed like a filthy slut!" Steve says as he rides out his orgasm, which had been triggered by the strength of yours. You hadn’t even noticed at first. When he lets you go, you collapse onto the bed, completely tired. ”T-thank you, Daddy," you manage to murmur before falling asleep, exhaustion having taken you over completely.
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While you sleep, Steve cleans you up and dresses you in a pair of his boxers and a T-shirt.
When he's dressed, only pulling his sweats back on, he goes to the kitchen to grab some water for the pair of you, a thin layer of sweat still adorning his body as he walks around proud as a peacock.
Nobody says anything as they look at Steve, horrified, and he knows everyone heard exactly what the two of you did just now. What the two of you said to each other.
"What? Someone had to make sure the message would get across," he says with a wink before heading back to his bedroom and closing the door. The water bottle he grabbed for you is put on the nightstand with some Advil, which he’s sure you’ll need when you wake up.
He takes his place in the large armchair in his room, his sketchpad and pencil lying on the armrest as he decides what to draw. He grabs it before flipping through the pages, every page having a beautiful drawing of you. He has drawn everything he could imagine, from close-ups of your face to your silhouette in his favorite outfits.
As he starts on the next one, he can't help but think about what things would be like if you were his again. He has missed you too much and vows to try his hardest to win back your affection. Today was the first step. Now, all he has to do is wait. And if there's one thing Steve is, it's a patient man, especially regarding you.
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earlgraytay · 2 years
Text
The Author's Darling
So I follow a lot of people who post a lot about OC/self-insert positivity. And that's genuinely great. I love people's OCs and self-inserts. But occasionally, I will see someone, in an attempt to Defend The Honour of OCs and self-inserts, defend a particular kind of writing mistake. And that pisses me off, because it does everyone a disservice.
There are plenty of people who write OCs and self-inserts who do not make this writing mistake, and equating the two is unfair to every OC writer who works hard at their craft. There are also plenty of people who write canon-character-only fanfic or original fic who do make this mistake-- and that hurts both them and their potential readers.
The mistake I'm talking about? Writing a sort of character I'm going to call an Author's Darling.
I'm going to talk about what Author's Darlings are, why they're bad, how you can avoid writing one, and what an Author's Darling isn't. I put a cut in this post, because it's long.
What is an Author's Darling?
An Author's Darling is a character who cannot fail at anything that matters to the author of their story.
What this looks like in practice depends on the author-- different authors prioritize different things. Some authors think their Darling should be stone-cold badasses and never lose a fight. other authors are fine with their Darlings getting knocked out every time they try to throw a punch, but would be very upset if their Darling got rejected romantically.
Plenty of characters succeed at most things they try. Superman wins most of the fights he takes on, but he's not necessarily a Darling. But if you look at a character and you can say, "oh, this character would never lose a fight", or "everyone loves this character and would never get mad at them"? You've got an Author's Darling on your hands.
And- especially in fandom- a character can be a Darling in the hands of one author and a perfectly fine character in the hands of another. Steve Rogers/Captain America is an example of a character who gets Darling-ified a lot. Captain America is supposed to be a shining example of The Best that humanity has to offer- he's virtuous, strong, brave, and oh so pretty. It's easy to fall into the trap of making him incapable of failing at whatever you want him to do, whether that's "punching a lot of Nazis" or "supporting Bucky in his recovery". But a lot of writers manage to thread the needle and write Cap as the lovable, flawed person he's supposed to be.
Why are Author's Darlings bad?
Well, two reasons:
Writing an Author's Darling is a really good way to give yourself writer's block, especially when it comes to the plot. If your character can't fail at anything important, this means that it's really hard to build tension. If your character is going to automatically succeed at anything that's important to the plot, all you're writing is "and then they win, and then they win, and then they win". It can get pretty monotonous pretty quickly, especially if you're writing genre fiction. You can run out of ideas, or your inner critic can go "this isn't how stories work???? the FUCK???" and block your creative flow. If your character can't fail at anything- important or not- it's hard to come up with a good story for them at all. You know how sometimes you get a character rattling around your head but you can't get a plot for them at all? One of the first steps in fixing that is making sure you're not writing an Author's Darling.
Writing an Author's Darling makes people not want to read your work. Now, look. I know everyone says "you should write for yourself, and screw anyone who says otherwise!" But let's be honest here: it sucks to spend hours working on a piece of writing, post it, and then get, like, 2 hits and no kudos, or 1 tumblr like from your friend who likes everything that crosses their dash. It's incredibly demoralizing. Author's Darlings are one of the big factors that make people stop reading a story. As soon as a reader gets the sense that the protagonist can't screw up- that they're "too perfect"- the tension in the story is gone. There's no reason for them to keep reading, because they know the character's just going to Press The Win Button And Win. So they'll click out without saying anything, and you'll wonder why no one's reading your fic.
What isn't an Author's Darling?
This section is haunted by the ghost of Mary Sue. If you're reading this list and you're new to fandom/young, you might wonder why I'm calling out certain specific things; this is a fandom war you missed, don't worry about it.
An Author's Darling is not a character of any specific gender. Male, female, and nonbinary characters can all be Author's Darlings.
An Author's Darling is not necessarily an OC. In the current fandom climate, it's way more likely that a Darling will be a 35-year-old canon male character the writer calls "babygirl".
An Author's Darling is not necessarily a self-insert, but it's really easy to make a self-insert into a Darling. There's a reason people recommend that newbie writers avoid self-inserts- it can be really hard to write a character based on yourself that screws up something important. It takes a lot of vulnerability and courage to write, and it's not something you want to show everyone.
An Author's Darling is not an "overpowered" character or a "cool" character. Your character can have sixteen katanas and do air dashes and still not be a Darling- and your character can be a powerless human in a superhero setting and be the biggest Darling to ever Darling. Having "too many" powers or standing out "too much" in the setting is often a symptom of a Darling- if you don't want your character to fail at anything important, and being The Coolest Person In The Room is important to you, you're going to make your Darling overpowered and good at everything. But it's not the thing that makes an Author's Darling bad.
An Author's Darling is not a 'perfect' character, or a character without flaws. There's a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram, don't get me wrong... but you can load up a character with "flaws" that don't matter to you. A lot of dudebro male writers, for example, will make their Darlings emotionally constipated, mean, and Bad At Relationships. These genuinely are character flaws... but these writers don't give a flying fuck about the character's relationships. They're happy to let their Darling fail at this stuff to prove he's FLAWED!!!- but try and make them write a fight scene their Darling loses, and they'll break out in hives.
Why should I care? Writing is supposed to be fun, and writing characters failing is not fun for me.
Writing is a craft. It is no different from knitting a sweater, making a stop-motion film, or trimming a bonsai. There are ways to do it well, and there are ways to do it poorly.
It can be fun and rewarding to knit a shitty sock with holes in the heel where you forgot how the pattern works and weird lumps in the calf. It is more fun and rewarding to get good enough at knitting that you knit socks you can wear.
Similarly, it can be fun and rewarding to deliberately write stories about overpowered Author's Darlings that are boring to read for anyone who isn't you. But it is more fun and rewarding to get good enough at writing that you write stories other people will want to read.
And you know, maybe you don't care about that. Everyone needs a hobby that they're bad at and have no interest in getting better at; it keeps you humble. Maybe writing is yours.
But plenty of writers do care. And tarring every writer who writes OCs and self-inserts with the same brush- the brush of "this is supposed to be fun! we're writing deliberately bad things! yay!"- is an insult to anyone who writes OCs and cares about their craft.
If you want to write well, you should be aware of what an Author's Darling is, and if possible, you should try to avoid writing them. If you don't care about writing well, that's fine- but please avoid implying that every OC or self-insert character is badly written in this particular way.
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winterdadandspiderson · 5 months
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WINTERDAD AU #1
(part one because this got way too long. this is essentially the plot of an old fic i started back in 2020 and what would've happened of i'd continued it. i might try and write it again one day, perhaps, if i don't give up after 2 chapters. anyway here we go)
- mary parker was a shield agent when she met the winter soldier, both were on a mission. they fought, but never got as far as mortally wounding each other. mary would always slip away. it was like a game. bucky had been kept out the ice for a few weeks at that point, running a long job. but the longer he's out, the more he starts to remember little pieces, who he used to be.
- mary feels pity for him, seeing through the stone cold image hydra forged for him, to the person within. they fight. but then they also talk. they keep seeing each other while bucky scouts. eventually one thing leads to another and they develop a relationship of sorts. 
- mary later discovers she's pregnant but bucky never finds out. he's taken back, wiped and put under the ice once more. mary quits her job at shield so she can provide for her kid and keep them safe. knowing full well if anyone in shield or hydra caught wind that she was carrying the winter soldiers child, they'd never be safe.
- she's sad that bucky disappeared again, she knows hydra likely had him wiped and iced again. but she moves on, meeting richard soon after who she tells she's expecting a son, that the father disappeared without a word (technically not a lie) he tells her he'll love him like he's his regardless.
- when her son is born she names him peter james parker (during the few weeks they met, the last time they talked, bucky ended up remembering his first name, mary wanted peter to have at least a piece of him)
- peter ends up looking a LOT like bucky. he has the same shade of dark brown hair, facial structure which shows as he grows. but he has mary's eyes)
- the plane crash was really just an unfortunate incident. peter still goes to live with aunt may and uncle ben when he's seven. and then things go as they usually do in canon. the avengers form, yada yada all that stuff, you know the drill.
- when he's 14 peter is bitten by the radioactive spider. BUT. an important detail here is that due to the expiermentation bucky was subjected to by hydra and the enhancements which altered his genes, some of that, though remaining dormant, passed onto peter. but it didn't really do anything, it was just there. but it did keep him alive after the spider bite. without those enhancements in his blood peter would've died. instead, he gained his powers.
- uncle ben still gets shot, which as usual influences peter to become spider-man. and months after tony still comes along and recruits him to fight in germany. peter does.
- when he briefly faces bucky ("you have a metal arm? that is AWESOME, dude!") neither know so that also goes as normal. bucky is bewhildered by the kid who managed to block a hit with so much force behind it, while also shocked to know that he was just that, a kid.
- now one vastly different thing here is that while the avengers do split for a good year, steve and tony eventually talk and make amends. the avengers reassemble, deciding that they need to put the world before their feud. they're not on super good terms, but they tolerate each other. tony still refuses to forgive bucky.
- homecoming happens during the time where things are still rocky between the avengers so peter still deals with vulture alone. but he does see tony more often, stopping by for lab days to work on his suit among other things, to keep up the "internship" charade. tony grows fond of him, though he doesn't admit it.
its post homecoming where things start to go wrong.
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heyitsme1040 · 6 months
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The Ring of Time [s.r]
summary : Steve comes back to you after returning the infinity stones. He made a stop in the forties, and brought back something important for the both of you. 
pairings : Steve Rogers x Reader
warnings : None (if I missed anything let me know!)
word count : 530
AO3 (x)
a/n : Day seventeen of Comfortember is here! The prompt was ‘heirloom’.
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“Be careful,” you whisper to Steve as you hug him before he goes to return the infinity stones. 
“I will,” he promised. “See you in a few minutes.”
You stepped away from the hug and stood next to Bucky. You watched as he stepped onto the pad, checking his watch. Between one breath and the next Steve disappeared. You shifted closer to Bucky, waiting on Steve to return. 
“Be honest with me?” You turned to face Bucky. 
“What’s up?” Bucky keeps his eyes focused on the pad. 
“Is he coming back?”
Bucky opens his mouth to respond, but before he can Bruce says, “Here he comes. He’s back in three…two…one…now.”
He presses some keys at the control panel, but nothing happens. Your heart sinks, your biggest fear feeling real. Steve left you. You turn away from the pad, wiping at the tears that are starting to gather. You begin to walk away. 
“Wait,” Bucky places his hands on your shoulder. “He’s coming back.”
You try to force your way out of Bucky’s hold, “He’s not! He went back to the past, Bucky. He had the chance to live the life he missed out on. Why would he come back?” You shouted.
“Because you’re here,” you heard Steve’s voice. 
You turn around, surprised to see Steve stepping off of the pad. He takes long strides toward you, gently tugging you against him from Bucky’s hold. He tucks your head beneath his chin, wrapping his arms around you securely. You cry harder, holding onto him.
“I promised you it’d be a few minutes,” Steve comforted you. 
“Bruce was timing you. You didn’t come back when he calculated,” you rambled. 
“I had to make an extra stop before coming back.”
“Peggy?” 
“No,” Steve moved to look you in the eye. “Not Peggy.”
Steve’s tone alone let you know how serious he was being. 
You furrowed your brows, “Where did you go then?”  
Steve removed one hand from around you and reached into his pocket. “I had to get something I left in the forties.” Steve pulled out a beautiful set of rings, holding them out to you. “These were my parents’ rings. I wanted to get them back, so I could do this.”
Steve dropped to one knee in front of you and held your hands. You smiled, nodding as he spoke. 
“You’re it for me, sweetheart. I used to think I knew what I wanted out of life. Then I was frozen and awoke in a world I couldn’t recognize. Everything was different and I didn’t fit in this world anymore. I had no idea what I wanted out of life anymore. Then I met you, and everything made sense. The world didn’t look so foreign anymore, and I knew you were the one. So, would you do me the honor of becoming your husband?” Steve proposed.
“Yes,” you cupped his cheeks. “Absolutely yes!”
Steve leaned forward, connecting your lips. You wrapped your arms around him, kissing him back. You were faintly aware of the team clapping and whistling coming from where you left Bucky. All of that didn’t matter to you, your focus remaining solely on Steve. 
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Author’s Note : Reblogs are appreciated, likes are welcome, and if you want to read more of my fics then maybe follow.
©heyitsme1040 If you find this post on any platform under a username different than heyitsme1040 it is not their work.
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You Drew Stars Around My Scars | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hi. This is some heavy shit, so please proceed with caution. Do not read this fic if you are made uncomfortable by any of the warnings.
Thanks <3
❌Warnings❌ Scars, blood, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal ideation / attempt
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“And what about this one?” Bucky asked, dragging his lips across one of your scars. It rested along your ribcage, drawing a sharp line into your skin. It wasn’t sensitive anymore, didn’t hurt like it used to. But Bucky’s lips assuaged any lingering discomfort.
You ran a finger over the raised tissue and let out a laugh.  “Oh, that was a huge misunderstanding, actually. Have you ever met that guy in the red suit? With the katanas?”
Bucky’s gaze left your scar and drifted up to your face. “Katanas? As in more than one katana?”
“Yeah! His name’s Wade… something,” you paused, struggling for the eccentric stranger’s name. “Wade Williams… or something like that. Anyway, yeah, he got me with one of his multiple katanas. But it was really just a communication issue- Hill sent me after him. SHIELD had basically no intel on the guy and it was assumed that he was a threat- but he’s on our side.”
Over the course of his life, Bucky had seen some strange things. Red Skull. Infinity Stones. A talking raccoon. But never a guy running around with a couple of katanas and bright red suit. “So, katana guy is a friend of ours?” 
“Yeah! And he’s actually pretty cool. A little weird. Very funny. Kind of a sarcastic asshole,” you laughed. “I think you’d like him.”
Bucky rolled his eyes and brushed his lips over your scar once more. “I don’t know about that- he stabbed my best girl-”
“He didn’t stab me, per se…”
Bucky made a mental note to look into this Wade guy, see if he could be trusted. 
“Okay," you said, "it's your turn…” Another round of the game began.
For almost an hour, the two of you had laid in bed, asking about the other’s scars. You never dared ask Bucky about his scars or how he got them; their origins were too terrible to describe. If he decided to open up about them one day, that was his business. And you were more than happy to give him all the time and space he needed.
But it was Bucky who started the game. After you both came down from your post-sex euphoria, you decided to stay in bed. Kissing. Touching. Talking. Bucky ran his hand along a scar near your shoulder, the one he always noticed but knew nothing about. And though he didn’t want to hear tales of you getting hurt, he still held a curiosity about your life before him. He wanted every detail, every story. And so, he’d asked about the scar. And to his relief, it didn’t come from a knife or a gun- just a childhood game of tag that got out of hand. 
But his question opened the door. He promised he didn’t mind speaking about his scars- not to you. He argued that it was only fair. He asked you about yours- why shouldn’t you be allowed to ask about his? He wanted to share every detail of his life with you. The details he could remember, anyway. And so, the two of you went back and forth, asking the other for the stories behind your scars. 
Bucky learned more about you, and you him. But you didn’t bring up the massive ridge of twisted tissue on Bucky’s left side- you knew that story. And hearing it again would’ve gutted you. 
“Hmm…" your eyes drifted over Bucky's body, "how about…” 
There were too many to choose from. You hated how many options lay scattered across Bucky’s skin; each reminder of his past life spelled trauma, pain, abuse. But a new light seemed to flash in Bucky’s eyes each time he told you a story. He’d never let anyone tour his body like this. Had never opened up about all the vile things Hydra did to him. Each story unburdened him a bit more, helped him release the pain he’d been holding on to for so long. And you were more than happy to help shoulder the weight.
Your fingers ghosted along a jagged scar near his hip, “Okay, how about this one?”
“That one- that one is…” Bucky thought for a long, quiet moment. The holes in his memory acted like a sieve, draining most of his past life from his mind. You watched as he struggled, fought to remember this exact wound. His brow furrowed as he searched through the catalogue of his trauma. He flipped through page after mental page, reliving every instant of pain. And then, the light returned to his eyes. 
“Oh- I remember now. I got shot- and one of my handlers cut the bullet out while I was still in the field. Sewed it up- albeit, poorly.” He ran a finger along the uneven line of scar tissue, “And then they sent me after my target again. If I remember right, which I probably don’t…” He gave a sad laugh, “I’m pretty sure the stitches ripped almost instantly. I mean, maybe sixty seconds after he finished. So I just kinda bled until I took down my mark.”
“Jesus, baby…” Every story he told pulled you closer to his side. You wanted to cover him, to protect him from things that already happened. Things you couldn’t help or prevent. Every mention of his misery, every recollection of the abuse made you wish you’d met him sooner. Maybe you could’ve helped. Maybe you could’ve saved him.
You rested your head against his chest, willing the thoughts of Bucky’s pain to dissipate. But they refused to comply. And Bucky, always more concerned about your pain than his, took notice.
“Hey, I’m okay now,” Bucky curled a finger under your chin and tilted your face up toward his. “Don’t get sad on me, alright?” He shot you his biggest smile, ‘I’m just fine. And I’m here- with you.”
You gave him a solemn nod. “No, I know. I’m just… you didn’t deserve it, Buck. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
He took your face in his hands and gazed into your big, sad eyes. He never thought he’d find someone like you- never thought he’d find someone, period. But you had a big heart, and you loved him with everything you had. You showed him how much you cared. Made him feel like he mattered. 
“I know that now. You helped me with that.”
A small smile pricked at the corners of your lips. You wanted to fix everything for him. Take away his pain, remedy his problems, shoulder the weight of his nightmarish past. But you couldn’t. And the helplessness it planted in you made your chest ache. But knowing you’d at least helped Bucky see himself differently eased a fraction of the pain.
“Alright, my turn!” Before you had a chance to think, Bucky was on top of you. He tickled and poked at your sides, shunning the sadness from your eyes. And when he was satisfied with your improved mood, he rested a hand on your thigh. The scar he selected rested above your knee, its border faded. “This one?”
“That’s from a burn,” you told him. “Explosion at a Hydra base- I got a lot of burns that day, actually.” As the memory of that day resurfaced, you ran a hand over where the searing pain used smolder under your skin, “All the others healed, this is the only one that scarred.”
Bucky swept his thumb over it a few times, as though trying to ease your past pain. 
You sat up, coming face to face with Bucky. The scar you had your eye on was something you wondered about often. And now that you had permission to ask, you ran you lips over the mark. “What about this one?” The long scar ran along the side of his neck, beginning a few inches above his clavicle. It traveled horizontally, nearly reaching the back of his neck. “And this one?” And identical scar rested just on the other side, the two marks mirror images of one another.
After so many rounds of this game, Bucky didn’t seem to mind telling these stories. But when your attention landed on these particular scars, he didn’t want to play anymore. He wanted you to know everything about him- just not this. But what choice did he have? He could lie to you. He could make up a story. He could refuse to tell you the truth. But whatever he decided, he knew he’d regret it. 
It wasn’t fair to keep things from you. Bucky swore from day one to always be honest with you- and you did the same. But this truth only served to hurt you. The pain in your eyes when he told you about his gunshot wound and the resulting torn stitches cut him deep. But that story was nothing compared to the source of the scars on his neck. He knew how crushed you’d be when he gave you the real story. And though he never wanted to lie to you, he found himself pulling an explanation out of thin air.
“They’re from, um…” he cleared his throat, already regretting his lie. “They’re from restraints. They put me in this, I don’t know what you’d call it- I guess a… collar-type thing. Made of metal. Really tight. It dug into my skin. They used it to, uh, to chain me to a wall.” Part of Bucky believed his own lie. He thought for a silent moment- did this really happen? Was his attempt at a fabricated story actually a buried memory? For Hydra, such a punishment sounded plausible. But after several seconds, he determined it false.
Your mind went blank, only to suddenly overflow with images of Bucky in chains. Sharp metal cutting into his skin. His blood pouring down his body and pooling on the floor. The sound of rattling chains mixed with his screams and echoed inside your skull. 
“I don’t wanna play this game anymore…” was all you could manage to say through the sudden tears and tightness in your chest. You hid your face in the crook of Bucky’s neck, your breath fanning the very scar about which you regretted inquiring. 
Bucky’s arms wrapped around you in an instant, pulling you as close as he could. Your shallow, shaky breaths rattled against his hand as he smoothed it along the length of your back. He saw the effect his lie had on you, the way it ripped chunks out of your heart. But the real story was worse- far worse- and as he held your shaking form against his chest, he swore to never tell you the truth.
“Just breathe for me, doll. Big deep breaths, okay?” He soothed you, helped free you from the crushing sadness. But when it cleared, a wave of guilt took you out at the knees. This wasn’t right. 
“Wait, no-” you pulled your face from his neck. “This is so fucked up, oh my god. I’m so sorry, Buck. You shouldn’t be comforting me- it should be the other way around. I didn’t mean to-”
How did Bucky ever find someone like you? Someone who cared for him so deeply, loved him more than he ever thought possible? He hated that he’d upset you, that he’d started this stupid game. But part of him liked knowing how much you cared. 
“Sweetheart, please don’t apologize. You’re just... you're reacting to new information. That memory is something I’ve gotten used to, it’s part of my past, so… it doesn’t bother me anymore.” Bucky knew damn well it didn’t bother him because it simply wasn’t true. The real source of his scar bit at him every day. But you didn’t have to know that. “Hey, you love me- which is unbelievable, by the way- and so hearing stories like that upsets you. Being sad about it is totally normal.”
You wiped at your eyes with the backs of your hands, “feels selfish.”
“It’s not.” A sudden laugh rumbled out of his chest, “if you weren’t upset, I think we’d have more to worry about.”
His joke was met with an eye roll and a small laugh. He wasn’t wrong. You cared so deeply for him that even imagining his past pain brought you to tears. Never had you loved someone the way you loved him. And though you dealt with your own pain and traumatic memories, you wanted more than anything to take all of Bucky’s. You wanted to steal any ounce of residual pain and every nightmare inducing memory, leaving him only with peace.
“I love you a lot,” you said. “And I’m so- I’m so sorry for everything you went through. You never should’ve suffered like that.”
Bucky’s forehead met yours in a moment of quiet. No one ever acknowledged his pain, his trauma. They talked about his kills, the blood on his hands. They talked about his pardon- the pardon that, according to you, he “never should’ve needed”. Because nothing he did as the Winter Soldier was by choice. He was a victim, a prisoner of war. But everyone conveniently left that part out. They regarded him as either “the winter soldier” or the “pardoned war criminal”, never the hero, the abused, the broken.
“Thank you,” he whispered. And he meant it.
The two of you sat there for a few long moments, reveling in the other’s presence. But Bucky’s growling stomach broke the silence. He locked eyes with you in an apologetic glance that quickly devolved into a storm of laughter.
“I’m guessing you want dinner?”
“You could say that…” Bucky shrugged. “But I made you cry, so I want you to pick.”
“Buuuuck-”
He crossed his arms over his chest and refused to listen to your protests. “From this moment on, the rule in this house is: whoever who caused the other to cry must let the crier choose dinner, and must deal with the cuisine consequences.”
“Cuisine consequences? Did you just make that up?”
Bucky gave a proud nod, “yup”. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and grabbed your laptop from the nightstand, offering it to you. “Pick a place, doll. Whatever you want.”
Nearly an hour later, the two of you sat camped out on the couch. A spread of take-out lay strewn across the coffee table, half demolished. And while it was Bucky whose hunger signaled dinner, he didn’t eat much. You’d decided on take out from your favorite barbecue place, knowing Bucky loved their brisket almost as much as he loved you. But his mood seemed to deflate as he pushed his food around his plate.
He wasn’t devouring his brisket like usual. And his side dishes went almost untouched. 
“Hey, is something wrong?” You paused the tv and turned to Bucky, “You’ve been quiet- you barely touched your food. Is everything alright?”
Bucky gave a small nod.
Guilt grabbed you by the throat. He wasn’t okay- and you knew it stemmed from the memory he recalled for you. The restraints, the collar. The thought of it made you shudder. 
“Buck, if this is about earlier- about the story you told me- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t know where the scars came from, I never would’ve asked if I…” you took a deep breath, easing the shaky quality in your voice. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no-” he set his plate on the table and turned to you, “it’s not like that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
It was just like Bucky to swear you were perfect, that you never did anything wrong. But you knew better. You knew he’d been forced to dig up some deep, soul-crushing trauma when you asked about the scars on his neck. You knew he was hurting- and it was your fault.
“Buck, if I upset you, you can tell me-”
“You didn’t. I swear.” He took your hands in his and dropped his gaze. “But I lied to you. About the scars on my neck. And I feel really bad about it.”
It certainly wasn’t what you expected. “Oh… okay.”
In a panic, Bucky dragged his eyes back to yours, “I know that we always tell each other everything, but I just didn’t-”
“Buck, that’s not a rule. You aren’t required to tell me every single thing that’s ever happened to you or every thought you’ve ever had. You’re entitled to your privacy." You gave his hand a squeeze, "I just want you to know that you can tell me everything- nothing’s off limits- but you don’t have to. I know you’ve been through a lot of really dark shit. And if you wanna tell me every detail, I’m all ears. But if you’re not ready, that’s more than okay. It’s okay if you’re never ready- you don't ever have to tell me if you don't want to. I just want you to be comfortable.”
“Oh…” Bucky took a moment to think about what you said. He liked the way you phrased it, the way you were open to everything he had to say without demanding he say anything at all. If he wanted to talk, you’d listen. And if he didn’t, you’d be there, regardless.
“Whatever happened- however you got those scars- you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s all your choice.”
He considered skipping out on the entire venture. He could tell you the collar was a lie without giving you the real story, and everything would be fine. You’d respect his boundaries- he knew that. But the source of those scars was such a turning point in his life, such a defining moment. And to skip out on sharing it with you felt wrong. It was a pivotal time in his life that changed his path- and inadvertently led him to you. 
“I want to tell you…” he said after a long, quiet moment. “It’s a pretty significant part of my story, and I want you to know everything about me, you know? I just- I don’t want to upset you again.”
“Buck, it’s okay-”
Bucky gave a sad shake of his head. “I made you cry earlier, doll. And that story wasn’t that bad, it wasn't even true-”
You took his face in your hands, silencing him. “If you wanna tell me, I wanna listen. I mean, I obviously hate that these things happened to you- that you suffered so much. But if it’s part of your story, I wanna know.”
Bucky let his eyes fall shut as he thought it over. Memories of the darkest time in his life rushed forward, nearly drowning him. But your touch kept him afloat. It kept him safe, warm. With you by his side, he found the strength to wade back into the depths of his memory.
“It was after I escaped…” he finally said. He took your hands from his face and held them tight, anchoring himself to the present. “I didn’t know what to do, you know? I didn’t know who or where I was. I was lost.” A faraway look left his eyes hollow, lifeless. “I had to figure out how to reclaim my mind and my body. I spent days holed up, hiding, reading about the things I’d done. And it made me sick.” He shifted in his seat. A familiar sense of dread and nausea sat like a rock in his stomach. 
“I was disgusted. I hated the serum. I hated the Winter Soldier- I hated myself. I didn’t wanna be this anymore, you know? I was given the same serum as Steve, but I wasn’t good Like Steve. I turned into a monster.” He paused. It took far too much effort to pull air into his lungs. He knew the suffocating sensation well, the feeling of choking on his own agony. 
“And for a while I thought it corrupted me, that it changed who I was. I blamed the serum. But then I had this epiphany one day…” He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the ground. He couldn’t look at you. “The serum just amplifies who and what you are, you know? They gave it to Steve because he was a good person, because he had a good heart. And he became a hero. But I…” 
The shame threatened to eat him alive. He’d worked so hard to change the way he viewed himself. And with your help, he no longer saw a monster in the mirror. But taking a trip down memory lane reminded him of his capacity for evil. “I became a killer. And it made me think- maybe I always had that darkness in me. Maybe my soul wasn’t pure enough.”
You curled a finger under his chin and lifted his head, bringing his eyes to yours. “Baby, you were brainwashed. Tortured. They wiped your mind- all your memories. They took away your sense of self and rebuilt you in their image. The things you did weren’t because of an impure soul or deep-seeded evil. And they had nothing to do with the the serum. If the roles were reversed, Steve just as easily could’ve become the Winter Soldier.”
That sounded almost blasphemous to Bucky.
“You’re a product of circumstance, Buck.”
He wasn’t sure he could digest your words. Only a few hours ago, he would’ve known without a doubt that you were right. He would’ve agreed and easily shrugged himself out of the darkness. But sinking back into the headspace from the days after his escape left him shaken.
He pulled his eyes down to the floor once again, unblinking. Unfocused. And though he felt lost in a different time, he refused to submit to the pain. He traced the same pattern on the back of your hand over and over, searched for peace in the sound of your breathing. Anything to keep him anchored in the present.
A deep need to diffuse the situation rattled inside you. You wanted to tell him that he could stop, that the two of you could return to this conversation after he ate. Or after a good night’s sleep. Or that he could abandon the story all together and never speak about it again. But just as you decided to speak up, words tumbled out of his mouth.
“I wanted the serum out of my body.” He finally met your gaze. Something in his eyes semmed frantic, helpless. “I thought that getting rid of it would turn me back to my old self- I know that’s stupid. But I was desperate. So, I started, um…” 
He couldn’t believe he was telling you this story. It was dark, shameful. Revealing his lowest moment to the person he cared about most- the person whose opinion mattered more than anyone else’s- suddenly seemed like terrible idea. It felt like a surefire way to scare you away, to convince you that he was far more damaged than you could ever repair.
But didn’t you deserve the truth? Didn’t you deserve to know who you slept next to at night, who you committed your life to? Bucky respected you more than anyone. And keeping secrets didn’t feel right. He needed to give you his authentic self, offer himself to you without hiding his darkness. Only then could he know that you loved all of him.
He screwed his eyes shut and yanked his shoulders up to his ears as though bracing for impact. And then, he set the truth free. “I started making myself bleed- I thought I could bleed the serum out of my body.” The admission lifted a weight from his chest he didn’t know he was carrying. Air rushed into his lungs and granted him his first deep breath of the evening.
He opened his eyes slowly, fearing your reaction. But you simply nodded and allowed him to continue. You provided him with a safe place to land as he jumped off the proverbial cliff. “I started making cuts into my skin every day, but the serum was…” he sighed, “the serum healed them too quickly- they’d always vanish.”
He eyed you again, waiting for a look of disgust or disapproval. But no such look came. You just stroked your fingers over his knuckles. Gave his hand a squeeze. You gave him the time and the space he needed to breathe. To think.
“And one day- I don’t know, I got fed up. The desperation and the anxiety and the fear- it was too much. It all got to me at once. And I wanted the serum out.” His grip on your hand tightened as the flashbacks pulled him under. “I dug my knife into my neck. I ripped the skin open on both sides- I wanted to sever every blood vessel I could. I figured that the more blood I lost, the faster the serum would leave my body. The sooner I'd return to who I was before.”
You nodded. An almost violent sadness vibrated in your chest, but you wouldn’t dare set it free. Not yet anyway. You kept it caged, allowing it to tear and thrash and bite at your insides. Bucky was sure to clam up if he saw just how gutted you were. How heartbroken. And so, you kept your composure. You remained calm. This was his time. 
And when he'd said everything he needed to say and purged every dark memory of those scars, you’d let yourself fall apart. But only then.
“And then things got all fuzzy. Hazy. From the blood loss. And I collapsed. I laid on the floor, watching the red pool around me. And I realized…” He took a deep breath. Why was this so hard to admit? Why did he hesitate? He knew you wouldn’t perceive him as weak or cowardly. Would never see him as pathetic. He knew he could trust you with his heart. But showing just how much he’d struggled ripped off yet another layer of protection. It left him raw. Open. His breathing hitched.
“Realized what, baby?” you spoke as softly as you could manage, easing his words out of hiding.
“I um, I realized it was never about the serum.” He stared at you expectantly, like he wanted you to connect the dots. Wanted you to save him from saying the words. But after a long moment, he forced them out.
“I wanted to die- I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”
You knew he survived. You knew that he was okay. Still, his words gutted you. A burning sensation tingled inside your nose- but you refused to allow the tears to form. You swallowed every ounce of emotion. Forbade your heartbreak from making an appearance. But Bucky clocked your shaking hand. The slight tremors and twitches vibrated against his vibranium palm.
Sure, you could fight the tears and keep yourself composed- but you couldn’t force your hands to steady. 
He let a sad smile pull his lips upward, “Did you know that everyone who’s attempted suicide off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived immediately regretted jumping? The instant they began falling, they realized they didn’t actually want to die…” A deep breath filled his chest, “And that’s exactly what happened to me.”
A strange relief eased through your body, coating your rigid muscles. Somehow, knowing he instantly regretted his attempt made you feel better- made you feel as though the urge didn’t still lurk in the back of his mind.
“I knew my life was fucked. I was lost, alone, confused. I was homeless. Scared.” A particular darkness overshadowed him as he reflected. He remembered the fear. The isolation. The constant, overwhelming sense of impending doom. He lived in a never-ending state of fight or flight back then, his body always prepared for death. 
But a sudden light banished the sadness, “And then I realized that I had a second chance at life, you know? I was free- from the military, from Hydra. And I told myself that if I survived, I’d figure my shit out. That I’d try to make something of my life- that I owed it to myself to make this work.”
You nodded. It didn't feel like enough of a response. You wanted to tell him you were proud of him, that you loved him. But your mind was blank, save for the image of Bucky bleeding out by his own hand.
“And I’m so glad I made it through, cause- I never imagined I’d find happiness like this. I look back on that time every now and then, and it’s… I mean, it’s horrible. It’s scary. And it’s sad. And I wish I’d never experienced any of it.” A warm, genuine smile broke out across his face. It lifted his features and cleared the storm clouds from his eyes. He stared at you like you were his salvation, “But then I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could tell myself that it gets better. That I won’t be alone forever. That one day, someone will actually care about me.”
The two of you sat in silence, staring at each other. Bucky couldn’t get the look of adoration off his face. When you entered his life, it was like he swallowed the sun. You warmed him from the inside out, filled his life with light. He looked at you, convinced you were heaven-sent.
The dam holding your tears wouldn’t last much longer- you knew it would collapse any second. But you fought to reinforce it. What if Bucky had more to say? What if he needed more time to purge the details of his darkest days? You weren’t going to let your emotions rob him of that- you couldn’t. So, you remained quiet, waiting.
“Anyway…” Bucky said when he finally spoke again. “That’s um, that's where the scars came from. Thank you for listening- I know that was probably hard to hear. And that it wasn’t what you were expecting. But I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. Do you-”
With a guttural sob, you scrambled into his lap. You flung your arms around his neck and secured your body to his- desperate to hold him. To assure yourself that he was real. That he was there. Everything you felt over course of his story came flooding forward, destroying your hard-built dam. The heartbreak and the pain and the utter despair drained from your body in streams of tears. 
But Bucky expected this. He knew how much you loved him, how deeply you cared- not that he ever expected anyone to feel such things for him. He knew his story ripped your heart out. Hearing something so soul crushing about the love of your life- something so dark and painful and scary- broke you. It cut you open and left you bleeding. He knew he’d react the same way if the situation were reversed. 
And so, he simply held you tight and let you cry. He smoothed a hand up and down your back. Left kisses against your cheek. Whispered assurances and soothing words. He whispered your name over and over again to convince you he was alive. He was patient and sweet, giving you the time you needed to process what he’d said. He knew exactly what you needed.
“I love you…” you finally whispered against his neck. 
A quiet, contented hum left Bucky’s chest. “And I love you. I just thought you should know… But now that I’m thinking about it, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe it was too much." The longer you cried, the more regret pooled in Bucky’s chest. It solidified and turned to concrete, sitting heavy on his heart. “I’m sorry for upsetting you-"
You pulled your tear-stained face from the crook of his neck and stared at him with a nearly frightening intensity. “No, don’t apologize. This is your life we’re talking about…” You paused for a moment, only to wipe the tears from your cheeks. 
“Everything that’s happened to you- all the good and all the bad- made you who you are. That moment-” Flashes of Bucky, bleeding and alone, swarmed your brain. The images robbed you of air and sent fresh tears trailing down your face. Bucky gave you as much time as you needed to compose yourself, to remember how to breathe.
“That moment is important. It’s part of your story. A big part. And it’s awful- it's really fucking sad. And it wasn’t easy to hear…” You forced a deep inhale and steadied your voice, “but it’s important. You chose to live. To stay. You made yourself a promise, and you’ve kept it. And I’m really- I'm so proud of you.”
Bucky pulled you back into his body. He basked in your love, in your support and your understanding. And he silently thanked the version of himself who fought to survive. He didn’t choose life all those years ago because he hoped one day he’d find love- but it certainly made his decision far more worth while.
Muffled words vibrated against Bucky’s neck, and he let out a soft laugh. “Can you say that again doll?”
With a dramatic groan, you once again pulled your head from Bucky’s neck. “I’m said… I’m glad- for a lot of reasons- that you took advantage of your second chance. The world would be a much shittier place without you in it.” You untangled your arms from around his neck and rested your palms against his stubbled cheeks. “And if I’m being selfish, I’m glad that you stuck around… cause I can’t imagine my life without you. That whole thing- all that dark shit- it brought you to me.”
Bucky’s lips met yours in an instant. He poured every ounce of his love for you into the kiss. All his devotion. He couldn’t find the words to describe how much you meant to him. How special you were. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to express feelings that strong.
The two of you laid on the couch, enveloped in one another. You held Bucky tight enough to ensure he wouldn’t spontaneously disappear. His head rested on your sternum; your hands tangled in his hair. You breathed together like one being, no seams or sutures to be found.
“I’m glad I finally told you,” he said after a while. “I wanted to get it off my chest, but I just didn’t know how. And the longer I waited, the guiltier I felt for keeping it from you.”
“You don’t have to feel guilty, baby. Not with me.” 
Things quieted again. It was so peaceful and calm that you thought Bucky might’ve fallen asleep. You couldn’t imagine the emotional toll it took to recount his darkest days- hell, you were exhausted from just listening to his story. If he needed to sleep off the turmoil, then so be it.
But a familiar sound broke the silence. Bucky’s stomach rumbled, once again disrupting a peaceful moment.
“Hungry?” you asked with a laugh.
Bucky nodded emphatically against your chest.
“I bet. You barely touched your food.” You removed your hands from his hair, freeing him, “Go heat up some leftovers, Babe.”
He hesitated. His eyes drifted from the containers of brisket, macaroni and cheese, and cornbread before returning to your face. He feared leaving your side, like he thought maybe you’d fall apart if he left you alone. You had to be fragile, still reeling from the awful things he’d said. And he needed to be there for you- his hunger could wait.
But you read his mind. “Buck, I’m okay,” you laughed, “I swear. You can make a trip to the microwave- I’ll be alright.”
With a deep kiss, Bucky leapt into action he snagged his plate off the table and piled it high with everything in sight. It was such a sharp contrast to the old days, the time he spent lost and alone without even a sliver of hope. Some days, he felt like he still sat in square one. Like he hadn’t made much progress or done enough work on himself. But it was moments like these that proved to him- and to you- just how far he’d come. Never again would he wish for death or seek to end his pain forever. He had to live- he wanted to live. For himself. For you.
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