#vulnerable narcissist

[poetrybyonur]

True friendship is reciprocal. Though one should never give to get something in return, real friends give and are given reciprocity naturally and get to know each other deeply and equally. But when only one side is giving whilst the other is taking, when only one side is getting to know a person deep down whist the other is too busy taking to truly want to or care to know the giver’s soul, then that’s not friendship. That’s simply talking to a stranger.

#poets on tumblr #love quotes #love poetry #romantic poetry #love poem #romantic writer #onurtaskiran poetry #poets and writers #gentleman poet #love #poetrybyonur #spilled ink #writers on tumblr #true friendship #fake friends #self absorbed #friendship quotes #quote of the day #vulnerable narcissist #covert narcissists

[selfhealingmoments]

#lol #toxic people #toxic person #narcissist #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissim #covert narcissist #covert narcissism #vulnerable narcissist #hoovering #energy vampires #toxic partner #toxic traits #manipulation #manipulative #narcissists #psychotherapy #psychology #trauma bond #ghosting #VICTIM MEnTALITY #mental health #healing #self improvement #therapy

[britts-galaxy-brain]

i cant say who i am out of fear of job retaliation but dont feel bad for lilys mental breakdown. she needs to be deplatformed before she gets people hurt like shane dawson or onision did.

^^^^

#lily orchard #lily peet #peet post #she brings this on herself #vulnerable narcissist

[jettman1970]

This is the first post here. I don't really know where to begin. So much has happened and it's all a little overwhelming at the moment. My narcissist discarded me just a couple of days ago. It's still pretty raw at the moment. This discarding is normal for our relationship. We had been together almost 3 years. And in that time, we have broken up and gotten back together so many times I've lost count. She was always the one that did the discard. I was always the one that reinitiated the relationship. That is the nature of this type of abusive relationship. I'll expand more on how it all works as I continue to post and learn more myself about the nuances and dynamics of such a relationship.

This last discard a couple of days ago feels different than all the others. In retrospect, I think I felt that she wanted me to come back after every discard. And I did. This one feels like it is the last one. And it is for me for sure. You see, about a month and a half ago I stumbled onto a video on YouTube that literally changed my life. It was only 10 or 12 minutes long but in that time, it opened my eyes so wide. Total game changer. I could now see everything wrong and bad in the relationship where I couldn't before. I now know what she truly is.

As such, I pretty much stopped the flow of supply to my narcissist. I went Grey Rock as much as I could. I think she knows I know. The energy I felt from this final discard was definitely different than all the others. I'm done. And I think she is as well seeing that there is no more supply to be had here and therefore I'm of no use to her anymore.

I still love her like I have no other. This is extremely painful. It's going to take a while before I'm able to stop thinking about her. 

Knowing that I poured so much into the relationship thinking that my efforts was being matched, only to learn in the end that it was all just a facade. To know that she told me how much she loved me only to realize that narcissistic people can't really feel love for anyone else, at least not in the same sense that I do.

That's all for now. Stay tuned.......

#covert narcissist #covert abuse #vulnerable #Vulnerable Narcissist #narcissistic abuse #relationship

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[earlgodwin]

"It’s interesting that Juan’s attempt at relieving pain is through closeness and hugging and love. When he forgives Cesare at the end saying how they’re brothers and wants to be together, I think that’s genuine. That’s the first time you realize what he’s always wanted." (x)

#“I glimpse us cesare. two brothers in harmony. walking together.” #francois saying cesare refused to listen to juan because he *knows* he can change his mind about killing him still living in my mind #something about cesare humilating juan and making fun of him and even set him up to die at forli by not warning him about ludovico's army #and yet juan still loves him anyway because his jealousy of cesare is unserious unlike cesare's jealousy of juan which is a deadly hatred #ngl juan is so funny because he'd rather die than being sappy. he's too narcissistic and prideful to reach out for cesare or his family #but he only reached out to him in his final moment when he was vulnerable and going through it. it was too late rip #confessing to cesare that he's a fuck-up and he's always been in pain etc i missed you we should love each other wah wah type of speech #juan borgia #cesare borgia #the borgias #juan and cesare #david oakes #francois arnaud #theborgiasedit #periodedits #perioddramaedit #tvedit #cinemapix #tvarchive #by jen

[thementalshawty]

My New Beginning (My way out)

(Mentions of disabilities, mental, emotional, physical abuse, S*x abuse, bullying, self harm, suicidal ideation, Domestic violence, be wary before reading).

So where to begin……. This is about familial abuse, so this has been something happening my whole life!!! My “mother” is a narcissist. She bullied me and my sister our whole lives, I am the third of 5 kids, she would pit us against each other and watch us fight to laugh and make fun, most of my insecurities stem from her clowning me in front of my brothers, funny enough she is NEVER ALONE, my father he abused us including her but he left and I thought we were better off for it, I wasn’t wrong but little did I know the monsters she’d allow into our lives after, I was getting molested by older brother and my mothers boyfriend before I even got to elementary school, my brother started when I was insanely young, and I still protected him as I didn’t know what tf was happening, her boyfriend started when I was in 4th grade, he wasn’t a drunk or anything just a pedophile, she knew he was because he got caught cheating on her with teenage girls and yet she still kept him around for a decade so wherever we moved he was there and I started to become angry, rage grew inside my soul like a fire that had no intention of burning out, on top of that he was abusive hitting and bruising me and my siblings who all have disabilities, you know my sister as she’s a tarot reader on here so I’m not going into specifics about them, but she would sit and watch and do nothing, she would hide food with him, have us stand in the corner for hours on end while they are food in front of our faces “mmmm that’s good”. She even forced to drink her breast milk in front of him, she despised us having friends, soo when I would have a friend she wouldn’t let me see them or go out or we would move, I’ve never stayed more than 2-3 years in any place my whole entire fuccin life! I don’t know anything but toxicity when it came to relationships, I tried to kill myself multiple times but they failed so I decided to be a burner, I just burned myself, the fire it was the rage inside me felt outside, I decided to tell my mother about the molester from her boyfriend when I was 15, because I told someone in school he told me I had to tell her or he would so I wrote her a letter, he had a gun in the house and put it to his head and said he was going to kill himself (gaslighting), she kicked him out for a day, brought him back then told me that I had to share her with him, so at 15 and with her knowledge of him molesting me, we all moved to California, we drove there, and that was awful, we all fought and he screams how he didn’t care about what he did to me and he was laughing in front of her, i ended up just sweeping that under the rug because i went to focus on my career I had acting classes so my mind was focused but I met a guy from school and he automatically hated him (the boyfriend) he told my mother and automatically I was told to stay away from him, I didn’t I had got arrested the year before so I had community service and he was helping me with that, I told him what happened I thought we were meant to be but he cheated on me with his sister and I found myself in her another Jerry springer bind but I found that out months after we broke up, but he stood up for me and he was the only one on the outside that actually came and defended my honor as sick as he is I will give him credit for that. A year later we’re moving bacc to NYC, before we did though, they got Into a fight (my mother and the boyfriend), pretending to break up, he went to the gas station filled a gas canister wit gas came back to the front door and poured gasoline on himself, obviously not lighting himself on fire because it was an act, he went to jail a week or two later she invited him back into her life, I already knew that it was going to happen because the shit was predictable at that point, Skipping ahead to 17, we moved back to NYC, we came separately, I came on a plane with my mother and the rest of my siblings drove back with him, because obviously she trusted him with children why wouldn’t she? She already knew what he was capable of, she didn’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️, when we got back to NyC she

Promises me that he’s not coming back into our lives that it’s over this time, I told her he’s going to gaslight her she says not gonna work, fast forward to when they all made it to the apartment, she approached me with the sob story I said he would come in with so she said she is letting him stay, I was going to just walk away, but my sister told me that she fought with him on the drive here, she stood up for me, he yelled at my older brothers and her that he did What he did to me cos he truly wanted to and he’s unapologetic for it, the flame it was uncontrollable and I blacked out I went into the room and I kicked him out myself. He yelled bullshit but he left, she hated me for that, so she started to sneak him in secretly then they started hiding food again, leaving us to literally shake, starve and feel sick, we learned how to improvise with what little we had. I was going to school so I didn’t care, speaking of school I was supposed to be on my last year of school, and I couldn’t graduate because my principal explained because I moved so much my credits were all over the place, so she told me I had to repeat a year that was devasting to me because in California I only had a few credits before I could graduate, I got two jobs because I just wanted to save up money to leave, she told my grandma lies oh she has a whole bunch of recruits that she tells constant lies too about us and what we do never the truth because they already feel she’s sick but they do nothing about it, family tho right? My grandma called me and so again we told her the truth and she helped us kick him out for good, (so that’s the end of boyfriend 1…. For now) I was finally 18!! So again I have no friendships nothing ever stuck, but I had two jobs and I was saving up for an apartment, I shouldn’t have done this but I was so proud of myself! I told her (my mother) that I was going to move out, get my own apartment and live on my own, she didn’t like that, she was saying that it was disloyal and what was she going to do without me and she needed help because most of my siblings have a disability, so I stayed, I couldn’t be disloyal when she needed me, that was a big mistake. A year later we are moving BACC to California because she has found A NEW BOYFRIEND, some guy she met over the phone, guess who helped her move back to California though (boyfriend #1), my brother who molested me left to go into the army, don’t worry he’s not in it any longer dishonorable discharge (it was fitting). So anyways the new boyfriend was some white guy who I felt meant no harm the fuccin dude was quiet and softspoken so I paid it no mind, but I was wrong, he was a drunk, not only was a he a drunk, he was a RACIST DRUNK! Did she care???? NOOOOOOO! Everytime I tried to leave she stopped me, til we fought then she would say to leave knowing I had nowhere to go, if I had a friend to go too she would hate that friend, funny thing is most friends that want to take me away from this be friends she introduced me too, she wanted to be friends with them but they wanted to be my friend yes they are younger people, I don’t have those friends anymore because they were very similar to her go figure right ? I thought I should call the cops, call for help, but everyone I reached out too did nothing INCLUDING COPS! So I felt backed into a corner, well I had my sister my little sister my rock, funny fun fact though, her new boyfriend ALSO LIKES LITTLE GIRLS oh and BOYS! He got arrested and she stood up for him, while he was doing that in her home, she would run away and leave us all my siblings in the house with him drunk calling us the N word, kicking doors down and causing mess, I couldn’t leave my siblings who couldn’t understand what was happening behind all I knew is that they were scared and their mother wasn’t there all she did was make excuses for him she told me I should kill myself, that I was a cunt that didn’t deserve her name, ( I don’t have it, I have my dads last name), that I was going to be nothing more than a whore, by this time………………

She knows about what my brother did to me I didn’t mention that confession because she just skipped right over it. She literally didn’t care and she told me to my face she believed he was only playing with me and I am confusing it all and that I know nothing about it because it happened to her and she the only one who knows pain and my pain doesn’t matter she tried to assault me and again tried to tell family but she already took the narrative so they weren’t trying to hear me out or help, in august of this year, me and my sister left, we went to stay in a motel for a week or two, with the help of my booking agent we didn’t have enough money to stay and the homeless shelters were all full and we’re not answering back, so we had no choice but to go back, we are back and nothing even a week later back to the drunk racist, not eating, starving routine, I wanted to die and I felt like a failure! I couldn’t even get out of bed I felt like I deserved this I got my sister out to end up right back 2 WEEKS LATER?!?!! I fuccin hated myself! He was drunk and again causing ruckus, she came back a morning later and was telling him to leave, he was going to hit her, my brother (diagnosed with MR) was out there with my younger brother (autism) and they were scared and standing up for her and the boyfriend was in their faces what was I supposed to do???? Me and my sister tried to help and she tried to tell us to leave for helping her!!!!! Me and my sister decided to just call the police, they started to fight, and he tried to kill her, the police got him out, and they told her that she was lucky to have her kids here, we cleaned up her room after he broke her whole house apart, I mean EVERYTHING IS TORN APART RN!!!! she decided that she was going to move down to Texas with the molesting brother because he has kids, (oh yeah other fun fact she kept forcing me to have kids she even wanted me to give her my eggs so she can have kids with both of those boyfriends she approached me TWICE ABOUT IT, one she wanted my eggs and the other she wanted me to be pregnant for her!) So now my brother has kids she was like saying she knows I’ll never have kids and I’ll be forever alone, that no one will ever love me, anyways skipping to now my birthday came and left I’m 27 now! The housing program that me and my sister signed up for began to pend and we found a place! We didn’t tell her we found a place and that we were in a program we didn’t even tell her that we went down the city. We ended up getting a random woman come into the house and serve us she was evicting us (my mother) even on the eviction notice it says no fault just cause, she didn’t even tell me, so we have 60 days to leave and vacate her premises! Funny enough yesterday my sister got her APPROVAL NOTICE!!! Mine is still pending but I know that I’m getting approved and if all goes well we will be in our transitional home on SATURDAY! We finally did it, dug our way out, I didn’t think that I could and that I would, I would’ve been opened up to someone if I didn’t believe that it was against the family or that no one would love me like she did, she painted the world as such a unloving place and that this toxicity was normal and for the longest I believed it, but I am waking up now! And I am looking forward to beginning my life AWAY FROM HER! Just me and my rock @silvershiningtarot I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY STORY, I’m only ashamed I kept quiet for so long, I allowed them to get away with everything and they took control of the narrative but I’m taking my power back! This is the first chapter of my success story! I’m not looking for claps or sympathy or for yky to actually care or anything I just wanted to put my story out there because this shit shouldn’t be in the dark anymore, mothers can be demons, family can be a dark and scary word for people and they’re not family, only relation! And I wanted to make that clear! RELATION DOESN’T MEAN FAMILY

I feel more familial love from you guys on here than I ever did anywhere! My music gave me hope and tarot gave me community

You deserve to know your reader through and through!

Thank you!!! For listening and taking the time for hearing this sad ass story, I hope I didn’t drag your day down! 💋

#my success story #successmindset #new chapter #new beginnings #tarot reading #tarot #tarot community #tarotblr #psychic #opening up #peek inside #vulnerability #personal rant #rant post #emotional rant #narcissistic abuse #abuse survivor #abuse survivors #normalize this #raw truth #my truth #child abuse #tarot saved me #music saved my life #healing

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

vulnerable npd culture is feeling inadequate and inferior when someone else talks about how awful their life is cause you look like a joke in comparison (despite being traumatised as well or whatever)

-🐢

.

#npd culture is #vulnerable npd culture is #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #-🐢

[writingskaska]

After being raised by narcissistic parents, one of my coping mechanisms became „being easy“. To always be convenient, to never worry anyone or challenge the people around me so they would have me.

Being a people pleaser is lonely and realizing the damage that has been done is dreadful.

But healing is a process. So this poem was my attempt at stepping out of my little cage.

#healing journey #psychology #vulnerability #narcissistic parents #narcissistic abuse #coping #writing

[queenmabsblog]

#abuse survival #narcissism #narcissistic ex #covert narcissism #mental abuse #romance quotes #relationship quotes #inspiring quotes #self care #I'll never be the same #ill never be the same #healing journey #self reflection #healing #self awareness #emotions #feelings #failure #heartbreak #emotional #fear #overwhelmed #regrets #people pleaser #boundaries #vulnerability #grief #anger #betrayal #i feel empty

[poetrybyonur]

It’s about the emotional void that they so desperately try to fill with another’s soul. They will often seek supply online or elsewhere in the guise of making “soul connections,” to satiate the emotional emptiness they contain and to satisfy their constant hunger that is needed to feed their egos.

#poets on tumblr #love quotes #love poetry #romantic poetry #love poem #romantic writer #onurtaskiran poetry #poets and writers #gentleman poet #love #relationships #friendships #vulnerable narcissist #covert narcissism #empty soul #writers on tumblr #poetrybyonur #spilled ink #sad quotes

[thewaitisogre]

i wish we got to see this team up at least once. it’s so funny when tom gets jealous of kendall. that’s his cousin, tom! what do you think is gonna happen?

#i know that tom is a vulnerable narcissist and has abandonment issues but still #succession #tom wambsgans #kendall roy #greg hirsch #tomgreg

[discountdyke]

sorry but i dont know how anyone can take dr ramani seriously why do so many ppl think shes credible just bc she has a youtube and a doctorate. i regret to inform you that even educated ppl can record themselves saying a bunch of bullshit and post it online for clout. she literally uses narcissism to describe any sort of behavior on earth. i can hardly get thru 5 minutes of her videos bc she is literally just saying "narcissists narcissism grandiose narcissist" over and over. if you made up a drinking game of this you would die within minutes. that is not information that is word salad

#talking tag #we're watching her fucking. succession analysis. which is unbelievably bad #roman who is a vulnerable narcissist who narcissists his way through the episode with his vulnerable narcissist wound is - #wait she just said hes grandiose what is the fucking TRUTH #anyways please dont let youtube experts take the place of like. credible sources such as books and studies #just bc a person presents themselves as an expert doesnt mean everything they say is true #and its sad bc shes taking advantage of such a vulnerable group of ppl #anyways. mostly shes just so fucking annoying #i hate seeing her name pop up in more and more spaces like girl please just read pete walker cptsd from surviving to thriving

[kindnessoverperfection]

wild how the more i'm working on recovery. the more i realize how fucking bad i miss her.

#which still feels kind of insane and embarrassing since i didn't technically know her myself #(my alter did. i however barely interacted with her.) #but she knew me. she fucking knew me and saw me. i've talked about this in earlier posts but that's still the main thing that hits me. #i feel like nobody else has ever ever known me like she has. i've never felt that seen. and she loved me. she cared about me. she knew what #was underlying my outwards appearance and behaviors. she saw it and loved and cared for it. and because she knew it so well she didn't take #anything personally. (again. not douchey behaviors. just like... bragging for example. or being guarded. idk) #also there's so many things we relate on? felt like i could connect with her better. i think she and i would have been friends. #i dont know it's just #with everyone else it feels like a fucking obligatory social game i need to navigate #say the right things. act in the right ways. present yourself in ways they'll understand and interpret well. blah blah #i'm not even going anywhere with this i just miss her so bad and i'm fucking lonely and want to be seen like that again but i don't think #it can ever happen. because i got to be 100% myself but it was in a safe way and that's how she grew to know and love me #but it wasn't ME who made that decision to be vulnerable. and it was through a specific way that can't be done again because i'm here now a #an alter so it's guarded. and i can't be selfish and demanding and fully myself here because system morals are too strong for that. #even if the aforementioned thing COULD happen again. i haven't seen anyone who cares and understands and sees so deeply like she does. #it's just #i don't know #i just want to be myself and loved and seen for who i am. #but instead it always just feels like i'm having to navigate and manage social expectations and That's It. #maybe i just need to be friends with another narcissist. so i dont have to fucking mask anymore. only concern is if i'm actually being #myself - i have a high pitched voice and talk fast and talk a lot and am kinda obnoxious and high energy and #attention-seeking and dislike being alone and. yeah. that's annoying to the majority of people. which is why i am Not myself around anyone

[vizthedatum]

I look back to the first year of that cursed relationship.

We were so in love.

My brother said we talked so similarly.

But really, who even talks like me?

Did you mirror me because you loved me?

Or did you just want me.

I thought it was real. I really did.

I tried to speak up when things seemed nonsensical.

I blamed myself for my meltdowns.

I self-soothed when I needed soothing from you, my partner.

It seems like a lifetime ago - our love.

And now I wonder… what does love feel like?

When I talk to my lovers now, they listen but don’t mirror me.

They talk very differently even if they match my energy.

They all tell me I don’t have to apologize or inhibit myself from doing my things.

They can speak up when I’m overtaking a conversation and not make me feel bad.

I’m so scared. I’m scared of falling head over heels even though I already have.

With every passing day, I’m more in love with the world again… and so jaded.

With every involuntary pang of joy comes relief and… absolute fear.

I am now vulnerable to love… but what if I’m disrespected, dissected, unheard, yelled at, and discarded again without any plan of repair?

What if it hurts so much more because I… love so much more?

What if I learn how to hate myself again in the name of love?

I must tell myself I won’t… I can always be in charge of my destiny. Even when it seems impossible.

#healing #trauma #neurodivergence #love #queer #self love #heartbreak #prose #new love #old love #being in love #vulnerable #recovering codependent #narcissistic abuse survivor

[mellodiies]

mello

#he is very dependent on people when he lets himself be vulnerable. i think its one thing that hasn't changed since he was a boy #you might say but he was never vulnerable with near and he was around near often #yeah. he used near as a catalyst for his emotions pay attention #i want soup #. [ ○ ] 𝙾𝚄𝚃 . homosexual narcissistic tension. ━━ 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙰.