#actuallyautistic

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

disabled people who are lifelong, permanent dependents, i love you. you are my friends and my lovers and my siblings and you are me and i am you and i love you.

i'm really despondent sometimes over the ways society sees us. how conservatives see us as burdens and drains on society, yes, and also how liberals mock our lives, how the idea of being an adult dependent is seen solely as the result of poor life choices, how everyone all across the political spectrum sees things like "getting an allowance from your spouse" and "relying on one person for housing" as cause for mockery, jokes to make, nothing but a conceptual stick with which to beat people into performing well in work and school. still others see us as childish, as pitiable, perhaps not as worthy of mockery but definitely not as worthy of being treated as a social equal, never someone you could invite into your social spheres and make an effort to include--they're just not independent, no offense to them, it just makes them so childish, i can't have an adult friendship with them.

but we persist anyway. we're here. i'm lucky to love the people i'm dependent on, i'm lucky that they respect me as a person and would never leverage their power over me, i'm lucky that they're willing to constantly self-check to make sure they're not accidentally using that power. i hope to g-d you're lucky in the same ways, because i love you. and if you're not, i love you. i'm holding your hand and i'm standing with you and i'm going to try to make a better world for both of us.

#dyspunktional #cripplepunk #cripple punk #actually disabled #actuallyautistic #actually autistic

[chroniccoolness]

autism is a spectrum and people present differently this is true but I just saw a video of a woman going "Hey if you are wondering if youre autistic but have no social skill issues and have never had any social skill issues, you might not be!" and half the comments were calling her a gatekeeper when like. she's right.

and yes there's the complicated issue of "masking and/or obliviousness might make someone think they have no social issues!" but that's why, like, extended lists/explanations of how social issues can present exist. and that's why consulting your friends and family exists. idk. it's not helpful to "nuh uh" the criteria because some people might not realize they apply to that criteria, we need to just... show them how they do/don't and what counts??

#autism #actuallyautistic

[theconcealedweapon]

When you're autistic, it's impossible to miss how much society normalizes child abuse.

I could dedicate my entire life to studying how to interact with people and I'd still never master the social skills that young children are expected to have on command.

Say the wrong thing? That's disrespectful and you're punished. And you don't even have to actually say anything wrong. Pretty much anything you say can be considered "giving lip" if your parent wants some excuse to punish you. But if you say nothing, then you get punished for ignoring. You also have to calculate your response to their mind game quickly because taking too long to respond is considered ignoring. Also, if you're being wrongly accused of something, saying nothing is considered a confession. And even if you somehow manage to say exactly what your parent wants in exactly the correct tone, they'll still punish you for "sarcasm" or "not really meaning it".

#autism #actuallyautistic #child abuse

[autismaccount]

I've reached 35 responses! They're very interesting, but the sample size is still small, and I don't think it's at all representative of the Tumblr autism community. If I can't reach at least 100 responses, I don't think I'll be able to analyze Tumblr community views on support needs in depth. I'll still post descriptive statistics for the overall sample, but I won't have the statistical power to do anything else.

I'd really appreciate if everyone could help by taking the survey and reblogging this post to their followers!

As a reminder, the survey is meant to understand how people use support needs labels. For example, what makes someone low support needs and not moderate support needs? The survey also helps show what the community is like in general in terms of demographics and experiences!

A summary of the current survey results are under the Read More. Again, especially if a community that you're in is under-represented, please help by spreading the survey link! I'd especially love to hear from more people AMAB, racial/ethnic minorities, people who are not yet diagnosed or were diagnosed as adults, and higher support needs individuals!

Age: Most participants are young; 60% are under age 25%, and 20% are under 18.

Gender: Over half of the sample is AFAB nonbinary, almost 1/3 is trans men, and almost all of the remainder (14%) is cis women. Only 2 people who are AMAB have taken the survey.

Race/Ethnicity: Non-Hispanic White people are very over-represented, making up 82% of the sample.

Diagnosis: 57% are professionally diagnosed, 20% are informally or soft-diagnosed, and 14% are seeking a diagnosis. Only 9% are neither diagnosed nor seeking a diagnosis.

The most common diagnoses are ASD with no level (33%), level 1 ASD (25%), and "mild autism" (13%).

16% were diagnosed before age 8, 24% between ages 9 and 15, 32% between ages 16 and 18, 12% between ages 19 and 25, and 16% over age 25.

Autism Support Needs: The most common self-identified support needs label is "low-moderate" (43%), followed by low (23%) and moderate (14%). Most would benefit from but do not need weekly support (31%), only need accommodations and mental health support (17%), or rarely need any support (6%).

Autism Symptoms: On a severity scale of 0 (not applicable) to 3 (severe), the average is 1.7 overall, 1.8 socially, and 1.7 for restricted-repetitive behaviors. The most severe symptom is sensory issues (2.1), and the least severe are nonverbal communication and stimming (both 1.5).

83% are fully verbal, and 97% have no intellectual disability.

38% can mask well enough to seem "off" but not necessarily autistic. 21% can't mask well or for long.

Most experience shutdowns (94%), difficulties with interoception (80%), meltdowns (71%), alexithymia (71%), echolalia (69%), and autistic mutism (66%). Very few experience psychosis (14%) or catatonia (11%).

Self-Diagnosis: 20% think it's always fine to self-diagnose autism, 29% think it's almost always fine, 31% think it's only okay if an assessment is inaccessible, 71% think it needs to be done carefully, and 11% think it's okay to suspect but not self-diagnose.

15% think it's always fine to self-diagnose autism DSM-5 levels (including if the person has been told they don't have autism), 15% think it's fine as long as autism hasn't been ruled out, 21% think it's almost always fine, 18% think it's only okay if an assessment is inaccessible, 36% think it needs to be done carefully, and 36% think it's okay to suspect but not self-diagnose.

26% think it's always fine to self-diagnose autism support needs labels (including if the person has been told they don't have autism), 29% think it's fine as long as autism hasn't been ruled out, 37% think it's almost always fine, 29% think it's only okay if an assessment is inaccessible, 43% think it needs to be done carefully, and 6% think it's okay to suspect but not self-diagnose.

Disability: 71% feel disabled by autism, 17% feel disabled by another condition but not autism, and 11% are unsure.

Comorbidities: The most common mental health comorbidities are anxiety (68%), ADHD (62%), and depression (56%).

The least common mental health disorders are schizophrenia spectrum disorders (0%), bipolar disorders (3%), tic disorders (6%), substance use disorders (6%), personality disorder (9%), and OCD (9%).

The most common physical health comorbidities are gastrointestinal issues (29%), connective tissue disorders (29%), autoimmune disorders (24%), neurological disorders or injuries (24%), and hearing/vision loss (24%). All others are below 20%.

Overall Support Needs: When considering comorbidities, the most common self-identified support needs label is moderate (37%), followed by low-moderate (31%) and low (17%).

#autism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #level 1 autism #level 2 autism #level 3 autism #low support needs #moderate support needs #medium support needs #high support needs

[acertainmoshke]

Hey guyyyyys…

If all goes well, I should be able to publish 7 Days for Fae in the next month or two!! This is my figuring things out book so I am still working on people knowing it exists, which currently means (1) hoping the local bookstore approves my request to order it, (2) letting my therapist recommend it to parents she knows, and (3) posting about it here.

I haven’t talked about it much on tumblr because I was done with the first few drafts before I found writeblr, so if you don’t remember it’s this one:

A middle grade book about a 10-year-old autistic girl (who also has a neurological disability) navigating life as she struggles in school, makes a new friend, tests her own limits, and has to find a way to communicate with her well-meaning but ignorant aunt. Featuring supportive parents and a b-plot about her nonbinary parent and the adults who are weird about that.

Most of my writing buddies on here are more in the adult genre of interests, but I would really appreciate people sharing this post so that parents or teachers or anyone interested might see it. (Follow me for updates or if you don’t want to be following me feel free to send me a message/ask to be told when it is available)

#writeblr #book release #middle grade #lgbt #queer #nonbinary #Trans #actuallyautistic #7 days for Fae #moshke writes

[represent-and-free]

#top male reader #actuallyautistic #noel fielding #spidersona #gay butt #halloween ends #isteri orang #faggot sissy #ai artwork #tumblr memes #classic

[autie-j]

Something to be said for how sometimes it can feel isolating to be autistic. Like how peers are able to do things that you'll never be able to do on your own or much later than them, like drive, move into your own place, work, advocate for yourself in things like doctors appointments, etc. And just like connecting and making friends with other people being very hard

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #just some rambling #i guess i feel lonely sometimes

[pumpkin-padparadscha]

I read a social cue once. I mean, I read it wrong,,, but I did read it.

#textpost #joke #im being hyperbolic about my struggles im case that wasnt clear #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #hopefully this post gets a giggle we are on the neurodivergent webbed site

[eye-hard-your]

#ramadan #kinnporsche #pusheen #top male reader #owl #actuallyautistic #tilda swinton #noel fielding #top surgery #skating #the infernal devices #dakota james #gothic lolita #genosai #scott mccall

[defectivegembrain]

It can also be really hard to make and keep friends while being aware of your limitations and energy levels. Like you turn down an invitation and explain that it was just too short notice for you to handle, and then you don't get invited again. You say you're not good at phone calls because that's true, and you say can we text instead and they never do (and why is an avid gamer around your age so into phone calls anyway?) And the best guess you can come up with is that while you meant "these are the accommodations I need to socialise with you", maybe what they heard was "I don't want to socialise with you". Or maybe they thought this is weird or too much work or I don't know I don't know how allistic minds work I'm just guessing.

Or maybe they tell you to your face that they can't hang out with you because their other friends think you're too weird, or you keep in touch but it's always so stilted and you don't know how to get beyond the superficial how are you fine script, and the one time it seems like you're getting somewhere you misunderstand something, not even in a way that causes offence, but they just stop replying after that. Or they're your childhood friend who tried but did not understand, and you didn't understand like half of what was going on for most of your childhood anyway, and the last time you saw them you cried in front of a bunch of people at a party because you couldn't interact properly and felt like you didn't exist.

And then you're sitting with the very specific worry that maybe if you manage to move into uni halls for the first time at the bright young age of 30, maybe your new dorm mates will want to have a social gathering that night, and it feels very plausible because it happened in the Choices phone game story The Freshman, and of course things in reality always perfectly mimic the specific fictional situations you're familiar with! And you will have to decline because you won't be up for socialising just after moving in, but then they'll think you're not interested in being friends at all, or in them as people.

Like just hypothetically

#actuallyautistic #social shit

[punkeropercyjackson]

It is beyond dumb and annoying as fuck when people look at characters who're in intergenerational friendships and immediately jump to pedopjacking the older character even if their dynamic is healthy because it blatantly overlooks WHY kids and adults being close friends can be bad.It's not a problem on it's own,the problem is a lot adults don't actually care about kids or are fucking ped0s and the solution isn't not let them interact except relatives fullstop,it's to teach younger how to identify predators so they can stay away from them and pretty much nobody who's insistent on the thing i'm talking about does it!In latino cultures like mine,it's normalized for children and older folks to be close even with no blood relations to form a stronger and safer community and it's also normalized to tell kids that it's wrong for adults to view them sexually(admitedly,this is sadly not universal but there's tons of latino regions where pedophiles are considered not people)

Kids and adults CAN have real friendships but it's important for the adults in them to establish proper boundries and not use the younger person as a therapist and in fact,it should be the other way around because it's the job of older people to be positive figures in younger ones lives they can count on and since i'm an eldest sibling who's always gotten along with their little siblings,i enjoy hanging out with and taking care of younger people and not expecting adult behavior from them because that's what my s/os and adult friends are for!It's also a personal thing for me because i got bullied growing up and had absolute ass adults all around me so this is my way of breaking the cycle of abuse by being the person for my bio siblings and my intergenerational friends i wished i'd had and i see the latter as my siblings too(and vice versa)since it's a culture thing i was raised in to see your friends as the same as family

'Why would an adult be close friends with a kid?That's weird!'Because kids are people with feelings and personalities of their own and not 'puritans' or 'stupid' or 'losers' or 'taking up space' or 'should know better even if they weren't taught better' and some of us reacted to experiencing child abuse by growing up to care about kids because we were once them too and the fact that you'd rather believe nobody could ever love a child in a familial way without abusive intentions says a lot about you with how you treat them in general,hope this fucking helps bitch!!!!

#children's rights #was i a troubled kid?yeah you could say that #child abuse cw #pedophillia tw #grooming cw #child molestation cw #antiproship #siblings tag #me willy and wilmari #me and sammy #eldest daughter syndrome #intergenerational trauma #agere flip #actuallyautistic #actuallymentallyill #blackness #black femme #trans #transgender #xenogender #catkin #dragonkin #ghostkin #plantkin #kidcore #actuallyptsd #pastel punk tag #anarchism #💌 #summerposting

[aw-tysm]

"the autism diagnostic criteria is based on deficits and it shouldn't be"

"the diagnostic criteria should also be based on things we're good at"

you guys do know how disorders work right? and why they're diagnosed via deficits/impairments/difficulties in functioning?

#autism #actually autistic #autistic #actuallyautistic #asd #vent #should we be applying that logic to all disorders/conditions?

[pigeon-cave]

Diagrams are helpful to me

#autism #actually autistic #pigeon thoughts #asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism spectrum disorder #disability #actually autism #adhd

[theconcealedweapon]

Neurotypicals seem to never realize that playing along when someone initiates an interaction with you is orders of magnitude easier than initiating an interaction. And it's not just because of the typical reasons like "fear of rejection" or "fear of embarrassment".

You have no social life and you want to get invited places. Someone invites you somewhere. That's easy (well, in comparison, because it may still be difficult for other reasons). All you have to do then is just play along.

But if you're initiating the interactions, there are many more calculations that have to be done. You have to figure out what to say to them. You have to figure out in what situations it's okay to approach them. You have to figure out how to read signs of interest. You have to figure out how often to approach them, because too little is disinterested and too much is clingy. And even if you do everything right, you probably still won't be invited anywhere because they may like you enough to interact with you if they happen to be near you but not enough to invite you anywhere.

And when you try to open up about struggling to socialize, you're met with "that's not true, you got invited to this one place this one time, you're just being negative".

#autism #ableism #actuallyautistic

[she-waves-at-cats]

I think it needs to become common knowledge that "inability to read social cues" can show up as overcompensating.

You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.

You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.

You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.

"Hardworking and quiet" should be as much of an autism red flag as "ignores rules and doesn't know when to stop talking". Or why don't we just start using words to communicate so i can stop tracking everybody's eyebrow twitches, that would be great.

#actuallyautistic

[disabledprincesses]

Non-autistics living with autistics:

They keep eating the same freaking food and it frustrates me so much! We can't have the "big scary light" on just lamps everywhere! Even when I try to find peace by doing stuff with them they just ignore me and do whatever they want. They can't even do the simplest of things like go with me to the grocery store every week! How do people expect them to survive in society??

Autistics living together:

So as long as we get my 10 packets of this really specific food, and some snacks, I'll be okay. Also is it cool if you go to the grocery store? I can clean the bathroom since thats bad sensory for you and the store is bad sensory for me. Can you turn on the lamp instead of the big light? It gives me a headache. Thanks man. Yea I'll unplug the TV for you since you can hear the high pitched noise. Do you want to do two separate things in the same room as bonding again this evening? Thats my favorite part of the day too.

#disability #disabled #autism #actuallyautistic #mental health #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity #tw yelling #actually audhd