i was wondering if u can come up with ‘a trust issue who needs reassurance all the time’ reader and ‘i dont know how to communicate my feelings’ bucky. basically a miscommunication trope.
i will accept however storyline and ending you make because i love you and i love ur writing💕❤️❤️
hi babe!! i really really hope i did your wonderful request at least some justice because i got too carried away-- i hope you like it! thank you for existing ♡
Out Of Mind
bucky barnes x reader
"Falling in love with you terrified Bucky, enough to push you away. He was sure that it's better this way. But merely a week later, when you disappear without a trace, Bucky realized that he couldn't handle being without you."
[5.2k] | angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, arguing, bucky being an asshole at first but he has his reasons, natasha being protective, sassy tony, canon level violence, fighting, reader getting minor injuries, clint is the loml, bucky is an idiot in love my dudes, they're so cute god help me
reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.
Bucky used to be a simple man, Steve had told you long ago. After all those years of torture, he developed… Complexity.
And you couldn't agree more.
He was a tender lover to begin with, the one to always make sure that you were alright, the one to put your wellbeing above his. He wasn't good with words- wasn't the most expressive man out there, but you understood him. You understood why he never included cards in the flowers he sent to you, or sometimes didn't say anything back to your love declarations other than a bashful smile; you understood that for him, these things worked in different ways now.
And that's why he loved you so much. That's why he was terrified.
Because the deeper he fell for you, the more intense his feelings got. The harder his separation anxiety hit, the more mushed his brain became.
And in any other scenario, that would be lovely. Those butterflies that one would feel in their stomach, or the sweet little dumbification that came hand to hand with love. In another life, he'd bask in the feeling. He'd see the world around him under a different light, a light that you cast on his life.
But in this life? It was nothing but dangerous. Nothing but absolutely horrendous.
Because he was supposed to focus. He was supposed to be alert. His fight or flight response had to be on at all times and no matter what, he was supposed to prioritize his life to save the others.
He couldn't do that when you were involved, not anymore. The paranoia got too much- he was terrified of seeing you get hurt, of losing you in any way. That fear brought out the worst in him, causing fights to break out whenever you willingly got yourself in trouble, distracting him, making you drift apart further.
You didn't want that. He didn't want that. But life for you wasn't always just movie nights at the compound, breakfasts on bed, long nights of talking about the future.
He had to let the chips fall where they may.
You needed reassurance, he knew that. But suddenly, after the last mission you went on with the team including Bucky, he suddenly… Stopped doing that. That bashful grin was nowhere to be seen when you told him you loved him, when you held his hand it just didn't last as long as it usually did, he… He didn't even look at you properly. And that went on for days, each day worse than the one before, until he barely even talked to you.
And the dread you felt on your chest was unbearable.
The night-time fell quicker than any other day that one evening, as you prepared yourself a warm tea to accompany your book. Carrying the mug up to your shared room with Bucky, you slowly got under the sheets, holding the book open with one hand, mug with the other.
The plot was barely interesting to you with all the thoughts running through your mind, snatching your attention from the words, making you have to go back and reread the same paragraphs over and over. It wasn't anything new, this type of distraction, but more often than not, it was the aftermath of the latest mission plaguing your mind. Not your boyfriend being excessively restrained towards you, as if your sole existence was a problem for him.
Speaking of, maybe it was. Maybe you were too high-maintenance for him, maybe you weren't giving him enough space, maybe he was just going through something. Or maybe, he was done with you. He didn't need you anymore, now that he got rid of the vivid nightmares and dissociations-
How cruel of you to think that. How cruel of him to leave that open as a possibility.
With your tea half-drank, you set the mug back on the nightstand, pinning the bookmark between the pages before leaving it by the mug. You didn't feel like laying down- didn't think you could fall asleep with your mind on overdrive like this anyway. Getting up from where you were laid across, you slowly made your way over to the window, arms crossed on your chest as you heaved a sigh. The view was nice, moonlight illuminated enough of the surrounding trees, and if you were to squint, you could see the grass shine wetly, with a layer of dew upon them.
You couldn't help the way your shoulders tensed a bit when the door knob twisted open, hearing the heavy steps of your lover and a sigh leaving his lips. Your back was facing him still, and you didn't dare to look at him, figuring he was busy changing his clothes judging by the shuffling sound of fabric.
The slight squeak of the mattress brought a bitter grin to your lips as you spoke up. "Not even gonna talk to me?"
He was quiet for a full minute. "Sorry. I'm tired, sweetheart."
"Of me?"
"What?" he sounded surprised. "Wha- why would I be tired of you?"
"I don't know." you sighed. "You've been acting incredibly distant for the past week. Figured I was tiring you out."
Another squeak, he was on his feet now. Slowly walking towards you, he rested a hand on the small of your back, but you still didn't look at him. You wouldn't admit that to yourself but you really didn't want to know the truth.
"Don't be ridiculous," he spoke, tone quiet. "It's just that… The missions, you know how they-"
"We went through rougher missions back then," you chuckled. "On the verge of death, covered in blood. Missions that went on for months. You didn't treat me like this then."
"How am I treating you?"
"Like I'm a fucking nuisance!" you finally snapped, pushing his hand away from your body before turning towards him. Your eyes were wide with anger, chest heaving. "You're treating me like you don't even want to see me!"
"You're my girlfriend!" he was bewildered, albeit a bit guilty. "Of course I want to see you, what the fuck are you even talking about?!"
A scoff left your lips. "Fuck that! You used to treat me better when we were barely friends," you watched him look away, annoyed. "I've been trying to give you some space but you- you just won't tell me shit! You're barely talking to me, anyway! How the hell am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you won't even talk to me, Bucky?!"
Bucky felt his heart getting heavier. "Stop assuming that you did something wrong-"
"Then what else?! What else can I assume? For fuck's sake, am I supposed to assume that there's someone else, or you're just- you're just sick of me. That you don't need me anymore, is that what I'm supposed to think?" you could feel the tears building up by your waterline. "Fucking hell, it'd hurt way less if I was sure that it's all my fault! Or- even if you were- I just- just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, please?"
"Nothing!" he was loud, suddenly. The sudden outburst had you taking a step back in instinct, and he panicked so hard for a moment that he almost took a step towards you.
He knew he shouldn't.
"Nothing, okay? Just one of those weeks. Leave it alone."
"Fine." you sighed. "Fine, I'll leave it alone. I'll leave you alone, Bucky, to figure your shit out and- please, for the love of God, don't talk to me until you do. I'm done being treated like garbage." and with a final shove to his chest, you walked out of the door.
Bucky knew that he deserved that.
Hell, he deserved a solid punch for the way he was treating you but he didn't know how else to act. He didn't know what else to do. He was so sick of worrying, being in a constant state of paranoia because of you, so sick of his heart hurting like someone reached right into his chest and severed it off whenever you got hurt.
Was he protecting himself, or you?
"Hey," Sam swiftly sat by Bucky's side with a bowl of cereal on his palms, not giving the other a chance to walk away before speaking up again. "You good? You look like… Hell, I can't sugarcoat this. You look like absolute shit."
Bucky felt like absolute shit.
"I'm fine." he muttered, eyes trained on the big TV screen in front of them. The compound had been pretty quiet for the past few weeks, with the main troublemakers scattered around the globe for a mission.
Sam saw right through his bullshit, though. "Your girl ain't talking to you?"
"None of your business."
"She looks like absolute shit too."
Bucky took a moment to process that.
"Did you guys fight?"
"Again, none of your business, Sam." heaving a sigh, Bucky slowly pushed himself up to his feet, leaving Sam sitting on the couch all alone. Natasha, who was busy making herself something to eat to get through lunch, decided to chime in after Bucky managed to take a few steps away.
"You push her away the second things get hard and then wonder why she hates you."
If looks could kill, Bucky's would murder everyone in that room under three seconds. "She doesn't hate me."
"You want her to hate you."
"Bullshit."
"Because you hate yourself. Isn't that it?"
Sam's eyes were wide when he looked at Natasha. She was the one to deliver a hard kick on the shin when one needed it, tough-loving and relentless with her words- not to hurt the other, but to give them a chance to see things from a different perspective.
When Bucky didn't say anything, Natasha decided to continue. "I don't know how you're justifying this in that 'cyborg' brain but you don't have one single right to punish her. For absolutely no reason, too."
"Natasha-"
"Shut it, Sam." she shook her head. "We get it, you don't like fights. But I never took you for a coward, James, and you're not being anything else but that with the way you're refusing to fight for her."
Nobody said anything else for a solid minute, while Natasha kept glaring at Bucky. His eyes were on the ground now, the harsh nature of Natasha's words hitting him right across the chest- and it hurt. It hurt bad, because he knew that he was hurting you on purpose. "How do I make it right?"
"In my opinion? Leave her the fuck alone-"
"No, no. Natasha, calm your horses," Sam got up from where he was seated, approaching the two with a relaxed expression to calm them both down. "Just tell her how you feel, man. Be real with her. Be completely honest- if you don't love her anymore, just say so. If that's not the case, then-"
"I love her, Sam."
A soft sigh left Sam's lips. "I know. Just talk to her. She'll understand."
Bucky shook his head in a nod. The idea of talking to you was nerve-wracking, to say the least. You hadn't talked to him in a week, despite living in the same compound. Didn't even dare to step into your shared room when he was there, instead deciding to take on a vacant room for a while and get your work done in silence.
You were afraid of continuing that argument, honestly. Because you and Bucky- you two weren't the type to argue. Problems would be solved in peace at all times, with both parties admitting to their faults. So when that dynamic changed, it freaked you out. Just like how falling in love with you freaked out Bucky.
"FRIDAY," Bucky called out. "Where's Y/N?"
An automated voice answered immediately. "I'm afraid that information is classified." Bucky tensed up quicker than he'd like to admit.
"What?" Sam muttered under his breath, gaze finding Natasha's confused one. Natasha spoke up not too long afterwards. "What do you mean by classified?"
"Mr. Stark specifically requested that I keep Mrs. Y/L/N's current location confidential."
"Fucking hell," Bucky heaved a sigh. "Have any of you seen her today?"
"Nah," with a shrug, Sam walked towards the counter to set down his bowl of cereal, suddenly not interested in the food but rather, your whereabouts. "Last I saw her… Yesterday evening, yeah. She was leaving Tony's office, didn't say anything."
"Where did she go after that?"
"Man, how would I know? I'm not keepin' tabs on your girlfriend, that's your job."
"FRIDAY, where's Tony?" Natasha ignored the two, focusing on the matter at hand. For all she knew, you weren't the one to keep secrets from the team. Even on solo missions, you would always keep your tracker on just in case.
"In his office. Shall I inform Mr. Stark of your visit?"
"Nope." lips pressed into a thin line, and a not-so-apologetic shrug. Typical Tony Stark nature. "Just because you live here doesn't mean you have to know everything."
"But she's my girlfriend."
"Just because she made that mistake doesn't mean you have to know everything, Barnes." Tony quipped. "If anyone else in this room was on her position and I were to give away your location, which she specifically made sure that I wouldn't tell, I would be murdered horrendously."
"It's not like her to do that." Natasha's tone was way softer than Bucky's, understandably. She was mad at Bucky and worried about you at the same time but still, keeping her cool was an art form and she was doing it beautifully. "We're just worried, that's all."
"You don't seem like her parents to me."
"Would you tell us if we were her parents?"
"Wilson, use your head. Of course I wouldn't." plopping down on his seat with a huff, Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'd beg to differ but I'm a very virtuous and excruciatingly handsome man, and I made a promise, so… The door is right behind you. I got a lot of stuff to do."
The sound of Bucky's palm meeting the desk separating him from Tony caused everyone's eyes to find his, including Tony. "You have to give me something."
"I don't owe you anything." Tony's words were like venom as they dripped from his tongue, his challenging gaze on Bucky's rampageous one. "But if you really, really want her to hate all of you, fine. She's on a solo mission."
"A solo mission?! You sent her on a solo mission?!" Sam was quick to grab Bucky by the arm, pulling him back a little.
"Man, calm down-"
"Last time I checked, she was perfectly capable of handling a mission and taking care of herself." Tony spoke, calm despite the furious man standing in front of him. "She wanted to go. Why the hell would I say no?"
"Bucky, he's right." Natasha pushed herself up from the wall she was leaning on. Signaling for Sam to possibly take Bucky out of the office with her eyes, she approached the desk. "I'm sure she's fine and she only did that just so you wouldn't go after her."
"Yeah," Sam continued. "Let's just- let's get you out of here. She'll be back before you know it."
Tony didn't miss the glare Bucky sent his way when he left the office with Sam.
Feeling Natasha's judgmental eyes on him, he looked up at her, leaning back on his seat comfortably. "Do you need anything?"
"What are you hiding?"
"Nothing, except for her location."
"No," Natasha shook her head. "It's obvious you didn't tell us everything. I'm not expecting you to, but I've known you for a long time, Tony. I can see it when you're leaving a crucial part out."
A sigh left Tony's lips.
"She's indeed on a solo mission. A mission that I know absolutely nothing about, and she disabled her own tracker."
"Are you sure nobody knows you're here?"
"God, Clint, what's with all the secrecy?" you weren't even sure your hushed whisper was heard by Clint, crowded streets of Hong Kong were noisy enough to usher a headache within you. You hadn't seen him in a while, with him retiring again, and God he retired a lot, but after receiving a message with 'emergency, don't tell anybody.' and coordinates, you rushed to his aid rather immediately.
You owed him a lot.
Following him to a small apartment building as he pushed the door open, you looked behind to see if anybody was following, before climbing up the stairs with him. "What's going on?"
"Extraction." he whispered. "Kind of a sensitive one. Tony didn't want anyone involved."
"I really think Laura should lock you up sometimes."
"So do I, kid."
Your time spent in his small hideout apartment was filled with intel and planning. It was supposed to be a very quiet mission, a sensitive one like he mentioned earlier- a swift infiltration to save a former SHIELD agent from where he was held prisoner, just so he could return to his research.
You didn't quite understand why Tony wouldn't want anyone to be involved and to save the agent, but you weren't going to ask. You trusted Clint, sometimes more than you did Tony, and if Clint told you that what he's doing was right, then you'd believe him.
The next day, with both of you suited up, his arrows ready and your secret knives hidden beneath layers of fabric all around your body; the quiet approach to the building went pretty smoothly. He kept telling you to keep your cool and to keep it quiet. This was a stealth op, and made sure to assure you that you were excellent at those.
Except, for all the stealth operations, your partner was Bucky. He was the one who knew exactly what you were going to do without needing you to tell him, he was the one who fought by your side, in so much sync with you that it felt like you two were one mind split to two bodies. You felt safer when he was by your side, calm enough to perform better.
You didn't tell Clint that. You didn't tell him that you felt way too insecure without Bucky by your side to perform well.
He was expecting your help, and you were going to deliver.
Except, things took a turn for the worse far too quickly. You got into the room in which the agent was kept, with Clint following from far behind to keep you safe; and saved the agent from his restraints. Before you could lead him out, though, you heard Clint telling you to stop taking your time because apparently, a swarm of people were coming your way, and he had to hide.
You helped the agent all the way down to the ground from the first floor, through the piping by the outer side of the wall and informed Clint of your current location, before spotting a few men running your way.
Pushing the agent away towards the woods where he could hide and protect himself, you pulled your gun out and managed to down at least two of the five men. You noticed one of them following the agent as the two attacked you; landing a harsh kick by one's neck before sliding out your knife and swinging it at the other's direction, but the distraction that they needed came quickly when through your in-ear, you heard Clint's voice again.
"Shit, abort. Get the hell out of there, get away from the building."
And a loud explosion right to your left followed.
Natasha was torn.
Tony's words kept replaying themselves on her head as she paced around the room, unable to decide between telling Bucky and keeping it to herself. She didn't know what she would be risking if she told him, but at the same time, you could get yourself in a much bigger situation and a supporting pair of eyes at solo missions were always required.
She couldn't bear the worry and uncertainty anymore.
Pushing the back door that led to the living room open with a loud thud, she found Bucky by the kitchen area, and Sam by the couch, watching the afternoon news. "I need to tell you guys something."
Bucky perked up at that, pulling himself away from his moping state to get back up on his feet, and walk towards the couch where Natasha approached. "She disabled her own tracker. Tony has no idea where she is, or what she's doing."
"Shit, how are we supposed to find her, then?" Sam slowly got up from where he was seated in worry. But before any of them could say anything else, a loud explosion sound snatched their attention and brought it to the screen.
"Earlier this morning, a lab explosion took place in a Hong Kong biochemistry lab, for reasons unknown. Public CCTV footage shows two unidentified individuals breaking into the building only ten minutes before the blast."
"Isn't that-"
"Damn it," Natasha whispered. "God fucking damn it, Barton."
No matter how fast the Quinjet was, Bucky felt like they couldn't get there quick enough. His heart was basically beating through his ribs, brain pumping adrenaline into every single bit of his veins as he watched the jet decrease altitude. The news didn't even provide the number of casualties, and the fact that he wasn't sure if you made it out of there alive or not was eating him alive.
The fact that he didn't get to make things right with you beforehand was outright torture.
The jet landed on a clearing by the woods, pretty close to the remote building in which the explosion took place. Bucky's strut seemed like it was made out of steel, as if nothing in this world could even attempt to stop him as he walked in front, Natasha and Sam following close behind. It had been at least twenty hours since the blast, and if you were dead, you'd be identified, right?
The news of your passing would be all over the world by now, right?
"I know where they might be hiding," Natasha spoke up, a bit breathless from having to catch up with Bucky's fast steps. "Clint has a hideout apartment, not too far from here."
"Fuck!" your loud cry was enough to land a grimace on Clint's face, as he let out soft shushes, trying his best to wrap your injuries up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he mumbled, taping down the bandage wrapped around your thigh before giving it a slight pat. "Just a contusion. I know it hurts but you could have it much worse."
"I know, but it still hurts, you idiot!"
"And whose fault is that? Not mine!"
Letting your head fall back on the cushion with a thud, you let out a slight groan. "How's the agent?"
"Called somebody to pick him up," he sighed, pulling himself up from the floor to sit next to your laid out figure. "I genuinely didn't know that they had explosives laid out through the building. Some sort of eradication. Must've been big, whatever they were hiding."
"Couldn't really keep it quiet, huh?"
"Unfortunately," he chuckled. "But we saved him, at least. Probably going to get an earful from Tony when he finds out… But you did a good job. Thanks for coming."
"Didn't have anything better to do," a grin made its way to your lips. "Don't even wanna go back, if I'm being honest."
A frown took over his features. "Did something happen?" and he continued, when your only response was a slight nod. "Bucky?"
"That easy to guess, huh?"
"Nothing else has an impact on you," a soft chuckle followed. "It'll be fine. You two- you shouldn't lose each other. Not over anything."
"I don't know if I can make sure of that anymore, Clint."
"Look, I'm saying this from a man's point of view," he repositioned himself on where he was seated, now completely facing you. "And I don't ever want you to think that I'm sexist or something, but, um… We're different. In a bad way- we're not… Complicated like your kind."
"My kind? Okay, now that's-"
"No, shut up, you know what I mean," he laughed. "Every single woman that I had the pleasure of meeting knew what they wanted. Maybe it was a bit rough around the edges, maybe it was just a scaffolding but there was a plan. There was an… expectation of how things are supposed to go, you know?"
A short silence followed. "And because of that scaffolding, you folks don't freak out as much as we do. And when you do, you still make sense. We don't. We freak out over the smallest inconvenience and everything goes shit because we don't know how to restructure our own plans that quickly. We take longer to adapt. Because we're a bit more primitive, does that make sense?"
You smiled at him, earnestly. "That's… vague, but it makes perfect sense. Thanks."
His hand found yours then, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about it."
That night, Clint woke up to footsteps across the apartment. He was sleeping on the armchair by the side of the bedroom, making sure that you were safe on his bed since you had to take a pill or two to manage the pain and fall asleep quicker.
Quickly getting up to his feet, he grabbed the pistol he placed on your nightstand earlier, slowly pulling the door open- only to find Natasha, with a gun in her hand, seemingly relieved to see Clint.
Clint brought his finger up to his lips, signaling the room as to let her know that you were asleep. "What are you doing here?" he whispered.
"That was a sloppy op, don't you think?" Natasha whispered back, teasing. "Gotta warn you, Barnes will be here in a couple of minutes and he's going to be mad, Clint."
"Let him be," he sighed. "She's-"
Before he could finish his sentence, the front door got pushed open, revealing a worried and seething Bucky and an apologetic Sam following suit, shutting the door slowly after the other. "Where is she?"
"She's in the bedroom-" Clint stepped in front of the door, shutting and guarding it. "She's exhausted. Be quiet."
"Why the fuck is she with you?"
"Hey, not like I kidnapped her, alright?" Clint rolled his eyes, still speaking as quietly as he could. "I needed her help and I couldn't call anybody else. I'm sorry I kept your girlfriend away from you for literally two days, Barnes."
Bucky took a step back, heaving a deep sigh. He was angry, angry at you, angry at Clint, angry at himself… Yet he didn't know where to direct that anger. He didn't know how to calm this feeling down. "Why didn't she tell anybody? Not even Tony- what the hell did you make her do that she felt like she needed to hide from everyone?"
A scoff left Natasha. "Bucky, stop making assumptions."
"No- you know what?" Bucky was getting louder by the second, and nobody in the room had the guts to shush him down. "My girl doesn't hide anything from me, ever. I need to know what was so important that she had to turn her tracker off and you had to lead her into a building full of explosives."
"How the hell was I supposed to know that the lab would explode?!"
"You were supposed to make sure that it's-"
"Bucky?" your frowning, sleepy figure appeared by the door that everyone was too busy watching the argument to notice opening. Bucky's gaze visibly softened when he saw you, tense shoulders relaxing before Clint stepped out of the way and with a few steps, he approached you to pull you into his embrace.
You didn't hug him back at first- instead sending a confused look to the rest, to which Sam shrugged as a response. "Are you okay?"
"No, are you okay?" he asked, pulling away to get a good look at your figure. A few cuts and the bandage by your thigh was visible as you were just wearing one of Clint's old shirts and underwear. "Are you okay?" he asked again, tone more stern this time.
"I'm fine," you pushed his hands off of you. "Why the fuck were you yelling at Clint?"
"Yeah, alright, have that conversation without us," Clint sighed, pushing the two of you into the bedroom gently before offering you a small wave and shutting the door, to give you some privacy.
Bucky sighed before looking at you again, wanting so bad to just cup your cheeks and leave kisses all over your face- but he knew he fucked up, and you were mad. "I was worried about you. You left without a word, and when I heard that your tracker was off-"
"I don't owe anyone any explanation." your tone was harsh. "And I'm sorry if I thought that you wouldn't give a shit, Bucky. You made it pretty obvious that you wanted me to leave you alone."
"I never said that," he ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to stay calm and work this out- but you were almost as stubborn as him, if not more. "I never- I care about you, alright? You're my girlfriend, and you should've told me where you were going."
You shook your head to both sides in disbelief. "You're not entitled to that."
"Y/N-"
"No, you're seriously not entitled to knowing anything about me. Not when you have the audacity to treat me like I'm nothing more than an absolute stranger, and then to not even make an effort to talk to me for a whole week."
"I freaked out, alright?!" he sighed. "I was fucking terrified because- because of you!"
"How the hell is that my fault?!"
"It's your fault! You're the one who made me fall in love with you!" he was loud, and you got cryptically quiet.
He never dropped the L-word before.
"It's your fucking fault because I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop worrying about you, I can't stop making everything about you and it's putting everyone in danger!" you were biting back a smile now, as he kept ranting. "Including you! I can't- do you have any idea how hard it is to look at you and not just burst into tears because oh my fucking God, you're the love of my life and-"
You cut him off with a kiss to his lips, your hands cupping his face. He was shocked at first, unable to comprehend the sudden switch from arguing to kissing, but he wasn't going to complain. Wrapping his arms around your body delicately, he deepened the kiss, exhaling softly against your mouth when your fingers massaged the nape of his neck.
"You're such a fucking idiot," you whispered against his lips. "You're like, the dumbest person I've ever met. Your IQ is so low that-"
"Okay, okay. I get it." he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I genuinely am. I'm sorry for making you feel like I don't love you- because I do, I love you so much that it's physically painful."
"I thought you were tougher than that, Bucky."
"I'm just a coward, honey." with a shrug, he pulled you closer to his embrace. "I'm just a fucking coward, nothing more. But you know what? Seeing you so angry at me, telling me that I don't deserve to know anything about you- that hurt more. I guess I- I really can't be without you."
"I can't be without you either," you sighed. "I've been so cranky, just ask Clint."
"Oh, I'm still kicking his ass."
"No, Buck," a soft giggle left your lips. "He actually plays a grand part in me forgiving you. And he's one of my favorite people in this whole world, so, I won't hesitate to punch you if you ever yell at him again."
"In that case, I'm thanking him. And kicking his ass in my head."
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You call Bucky when in danger headcannons:
Not my image.
It happened because you were in trouble
Your apartment was being broken into
You lived in an old building with a history for broken doors, and even though many of your friends recommended extra locks and precautions, you had never really got around to it
You were fully regretting that now, clad in just your fluffy robe and slippers
Heart pumping at an alarming speed, you realized just how helpless the situation was
Who were you kidding? You’re no avenger. Barely trained in the most basic of combat.
You needed help. And you needed it *now*
You didn’t know why. You couldn’t explain the thought process if someone tried to torture it out of you. But for some reason instead of dialing 911 you typed out “Bucky Barnes New Number Personal” and hit call
You met Bucky under difficult circumstances, and you knew Sam by proxy
Besides, you see the both of them on the news daily
Bucky had an actual personal cellphone, as opposed to the burner he used only around Sam and his shitty shrink
Your call went to voicemail
No no no no no no
You carefully slid into the bathroom and locked the door, aware of the loud creaking of your main lock
Any second now, they would break in, and find you
You dial Bucky again, the police wouldn’t get here this fast anyway
At least if something happened to you, the former Winter Soldier would take your revenge
“Doll?” Bucky’s tired voice sounded through your phone
“Bucky” you gasp immediately “someone’s here”
You hear Bucky jolt up in alarm, sheets rustling
“Who’s there, Doll?” he urges you “tell me everything you can hear.”
His tone turned into one you only recognized from stories told by Sam, and anyone alive from Bucky’s Winter Soldier days
Stone cold. Calculated. Focused.
So you did- you told him everything up until that moment, when your front door lock finally gave in.
“Bucky” you whispered through tears, pressing your palm to your face to keep yourself quiet
“I’m on my way. Stay where you are. Grab something to defend yourself.” Bucky ordered in a deadly calm manner much like the Sergeant he is.
Loud footsteps echoed throughout your apartment, the creaky floorboards giving away where exactly the intruders were
You approximated that there were two, and they were rummaging through your bedroom, which was at the far corner of the apartment.
“What’s going on, Doll?” Bucky spoke through the phone, and you could hear the sound of his engine. “Stay on the line. I’m almost there- you hear me?”
You didn’t dare to reply, knowing how thin the walls are.
Adrenaline coursed through you as you made a split second decision.
“Meet me by the stairs.” You whispered hurriedly.
“Doll, no-” You hung up the phone.
In a split second, you had unlocked the bathroom door and bolted down the hallway, away from the bedroom, and out the front door
You could hear yelling behind you, but nothing was going to stop you before you reached those stairs.
You made it 2 flights down before you crashed into a broad, leather-clad chest.
You screamed, thrashing in the arms of the man who caught you, clawing at his clothes.
“It’s me” He seethed, “Doll, its me”
Bucky
Bucky is here
Immediately, relief flooded you and you jumped into his embrace again, unable to control your tears
Bucky held you momentarily, and you were vaguely aware of him breathing you in and kissing the top of your head
But the night was not over, and Bucky snapped back to deal with the task at hand
“Are they still here?” He questioned calmly
“I don’t- I don’t know.” You said through shudders
Bucky clenched his jaw, torn between wanting to catch the bastards that scared you like this and staying with you.
But Bucky was here, so all your survival instincts were turned off- instinctively trusting him with yourself.
In a flash, Bucky had called the cops to deal with the mess of the break-in and began to lead you out of the building
The burglars were long gone when the cops arrived, and you were so appreciative of Bucky for dealing with all their questions and reports
Bucky had thrown his leather jacket over your shoulders as you waited, and you cuddled into it to ease the shaking that took over you
You didn’t even notice Bucky escorting the police out, and taking a seat next to you on the sofa
“Doll” he said softly, deep blue eyes trying to catch your own
“I don’t know why I’m so shaken up” you whispered, admitting the truth “nothing even happened.”
Bucky gently grazed his knuckles against your cheek and forced you to look at him
“Plenty happened” he assured you
A beat of silence passed you, and your eyes could not seem to focus on Bucky’s
“You’re in shock” he sighed. “C’mon, let’s pack a few things, you’re staying with me for a bit.”
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