i am so so so so so tempted to write a oneshot where reader brings zemo home to their parents. just because it would be so unrealistic and so absurd. like can you imagine???? "this is my boyfriend helmut. he was royalty and is now on the run from multiple countries but he's rich and treats me really well"
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Baron Zemo, le Petit Homme ?
Every time there is an old-timey song in the Captain America MCU franchise, the lyrics have a deeper meaning.
In Captain America: The First Avenger, with There Is a Tavern in the Town, the lyrics refer to both Steve leaving Bucky to pursue Peggy (“And there my true love sits him down, sits him down, / And drinks his wine as merry as can be, / And never, never thinks of me”, as well as foreshadow Bucky’s fall off the train at the end of the movie (“Fare thee well, for I must leave thee, / Do not let this parting grieve thee, / And remember that the best of friends / Must part, must part”).
In Captain America: The Winter Soldier, with It’s Been a Long, Long Time, the lyrics are a nod to Steve having Bucky appear in his life again after a long, long time away (“You'll never know how many dreams / I've dreamed about you / Or just how empty they all seemed without you/ So kiss me once, then kiss me twice / Then kiss me once again / It's been a long, long time”). Later, in Captain America: Endgame, after Marvel decided that Stucky was too gay for Disney, the same lyrics play when Steve and Peggy have their dance together, again a reference to having been away from each other for a long time (“Never thought that you would be / Standing here so close to me / there's so much I feel that I should say / but words can wait until some other day / Kiss me once, then kiss me twice / Then kiss me once again / It's been a long, long time”).
Because of this, it’s hard for me to believe that Édith Piaf’s Le Petit Homme, which plays in episode 3, Power Broker, of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, wasn’t a deliberate choice on the creative team’s part.
The question is, who is le petit homme? Who is the little man? Bucky? Sam? Zemo? All three?
I don’t have an answer, and if you have a contrasting theory, by all means reblog me. My best guess is that Zemo is the little man. The song is about a shabby looking man is “going away on short notice.” The man spends the money he has on his mistress—gives her flowers, spends many happy days and nights with her—until she rejects him, hence why he goes away. The street below is filled with ordinary sounds of life: music playing in restaurants, boys singing, girls laughing, and in the midst of it all is the little man who cries alone.
Obviously the lyrics can’t be taken literally for any of the possible men; it’s not like any of them had a secret mistress they paid a visit to. However, Zemo did have a wife, and child, and country that he loved dearly, until the Avengers and Ultron took it away from him, and now he is a man who mourns that alone. It could also reference his storyline in Captain America: Civil War, with his mistress being his own schemes to destroy super soldiers, the very things that he feels tore his country apart under Hydra and under the Avengers. He’s so in love with his own plan, takes great pleasure in it, but at the end the super soldiers don’t destroy each other like he planned (his “lover” rejecting him). Moreover, Black Panther prevents him from killing himself to stay with his “lover” forever and so he is forced to be parted from his schemes by being places in prison, where he is just a little man, mourning his family, his country, and even his plans for revenge which fell apart on him. He is a small man, a shadow of himself.
Of course, Bucky or Sam could also be the little man; the mistress could be Steve rejecting the both of them and so they mourn that loss as the world goes on. That said, the point of the show is to build both of them up and let them grow as characters a people, and find their way without Steve. Zemo, on the other hand, while he gets to show a different side of himself (rich, partying Baron), is still stuck on his same goal of destroying super soldiers because they destroyed his world first.
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Y/N: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Zemo: Killed without hesitation.
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Thor and Bucky being desperate for help.....
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Helmut Zemo x F!Reader
Summary: inspired by the gif below, Zemo’s needs get the best of him in a Madripoor club, and he takes you off to the bathroom to deal with them
Word Count: 1.1k~
Warnings: 18+, smut, fucking in a bathroom stall, fingering, cock warming (if you squint?)
A/N: I saw this gif earlier and I know he’s beating that guard up and whatnot, but all I could think about was Zemo shoving you into a bathroom stall to fuck you, and then this happened! Still not entirely confident with smut, but I guess the more I write, the better I’ll get?
The instant that you felt Zemo’s touch at the base of your spine, you barely even registered what was happening around you, you were so focused on how nice his hand felt against your bare back. You weren’t particularly happy with the dress choice from Zemo earlier in the night, but you sure were now. He was guiding you through the crowd effortlessly, and before you knew it, you were being pushed into the bathroom.
If any other guy had dragged you into a seedy bathroom stall of a club with the intention of fucking you, you’d have probably kicked him in the balls. But this was Zemo. And fuck, you’d let him do sinful things to you. And it seems you’re about to.
He shoves you roughly into the small stall, slamming the door closed with his free arm. As soon as the door was closed and latched, he was all over you. His hands roaming the expanse of your back and his lips pressed to yours aggressively, and you’re sure you felt him smirk into the kiss as you groaned.
He’s crowding you, pressing you against the wall, his body flush against yours, and all you can do is stand there and moan as he moves his lips to your neck, wrapping your arms around him in an attempt to keep yourself upright. He’s grinding against you, and you can feel how hard he is through your dress and his trousers.
“Driving me crazy, the way you were dancing out there, schatzi.” He growls against the skin of your neck, biting down on the skin there softly.
His hands roam down your sides until they reach the hem of your dress, sliding it up until he sees the small scrap of lace you’re wearing underneath, “Mein Gott... you’re so perfect.”
He pushes your panties aside and slides a finger through your soaked folds, “Already so wet, kitten?” He practically purrs against your lips and the look in his lust-blown eyes only fuels your desire more. He slips two fingers in easily, thumb finding your clit and rubbing it tortuously as he grinds himself against your hip.
Your hands find their way to his belt and you fumble to unbuckle it, “Need you now, Helmut.”
He wastes no time in pulling his fingers out of you and slipping them into his mouth while you pull his trousers and boxers down, freeing his cock. It’s hard and leaking, and if you weren’t feeling so needy, you probably would’ve dropped to your knees and sucked him off then and there. But you needed to be fucked right now.
He grabbed one of your legs and brought it up round his waist to put you at a better angle. He ran the head of his cock through your folds and you whined at the feeling, jerking your hips forward slightly to chase him as he pulls away with a smirk, “Desperate, my love?”
You huff, “Fuck me now or I’m gonna let the next guy who walks in here fuck me instead.” And that was all it took for him to line himself up and push into you. You drop your head to his shoulder and sigh in relief, your name escaping his lips breathlessly once he was flush against you.
He paused once he was fully inside you, just breathing in deeply while his face was shoved in the crook of your neck, and you moved your own hips in frustration, “Please, Helmut.”
He started moving slowly, but soon picked up the pace after he felt your fingers grasping at his back and heard your small mewls of pleasure.
“So good, schatzi. You’re so good for me,” he grunts as he thrusts into you harshly, “So perfect.”
You’re rambling as he hits the most perfect spot inside you, and he can just about make out a ‘feels so good’ and a ‘don’t stop’ somewhere in the nonsense escaping your mouth. He sucks a bruise into the skin of your neck before he bites across your jaw, smirking against your skin at the wanton moans that escape from the back of your throat.
You hear someone else come into the bathroom, but you’re too blissed out to even care, and Zemo slants his mouth against yours, smothering the delicious sounds you’re making. Those noises are for him, and him only. His pace is starting to falter and he brings a hand down to your clit to push you over the edge before he finishes, swallowing your moans as they grow louder.
Your orgasm washes over you, and your knees buckle as he lowers your leg down to the ground, holding onto Zemo to stop yourself from sliding down the wall. He’s not far behind, resting his head on your neck and spilling inside you and leaning against you, both to relax himself and to keep you upright.
You’re both panting as you come down from your highs, and you’re shocked when he lifts his head from your neck and presses his lips to yours so softly, which you immediately reciprocate. He makes no move to pull out yet, and you’re content to just let him stay there for now too, the feeling of him just there inside you almost comforting. He brings a hand up to cup your jaw gently, smiling softly down at you and your heart melts at the soft gesture.
“Thank you, schatz.” He whispers as he finally pulls himself out of you and tucks himself back into his trousers.
“Thank you, Helmut.” You smile shyly at him as he helps put your panties back in place and pull your dress down. He also brings a hand up to put your hair back in place, where it’d been messed up a little, and you feel butterflies in your stomach at the loving look on his face.
He holds his hands out for you and you take them, taking a shaky step away from the wall of the bathroom stall. There’s a smug smile on his face now and you can’t help but smile back at him.
He opens the door to the stall and pokes his head out, checking if the coast is clear, before pulling you out of the bathroom slowly, keeping a firm hand on your lower back as you walk back to the bar.
“I hope I’m not overstepping, but I’d very much like for this to happen again, schatz.” He murmurs into your ear once you reach the bar.
“I was hoping you’d ask.” you reply, and his face lights up.
“I’d like to take you out for dinner too, if we can find a moment to get away for it.” Despite all the coloured lights in the club, you can see the blush panting his cheeks as he speaks.
“I’d like that too, Helmut.”
His hand lingers on your back as you stand at the bar, drawing patterns on your skin with his fingertips, and you make mindless conversation until Sam and Bucky reappear from the crowd and join you at the bar. The rest of the evening, you’re stealing glances at one another whenever you can, and you can’t help the way your heart flutters at the way he looks at you.
Permanent taglist: @castieltrash1
Zemo taglist (please comment/message/ask if you want to be added/removed):
@noavengers @let-me-read-fanfiction-in-peace @zemodaddy @lulu-yuming @ichigomiluku @multiyfandomgirl40 @gwenebear @aisling1985 @booklover2929 @myeternalsin @moongirl1313 @angiekurosaki @lieutenantn @hibiscusgardenia @plantpottt @whatiswrongwithpeople @writeroutoftime @maldita-insonia @fandomxreaders @loudbluepancake @montypythonsholysnail @bel-13 @ayuoudro @leblubbles @marvelsvision @there-will-be-p-e-a-c-e @and-claudia @multifandombtch @sinister-sleep @moonstuffsteve @endorpuff @thanoshadtosnaptwiceforyou @cryinggarbagebag @eristudytime @grifffins @reichelhache @whoreforsamwilson @booksarekindaneat @ajeff855 @sapphiredreamer26 @marvel-trash-bin @tendertales73 @nocturnal-world @buckys-sugardoll @galaxypox @valeskasgf @mochminnie @cheekybluefox @ashamed23 @lonely-ghost-daddy @miranda-paige @itslilithsstuff @incansas
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I haven't wrote a fic in years but I'm going to write some for fatws, starting with Zemo.
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let's imagine this situation in one of the Madripoor clubs 🤫
(I practice drawing in realism 😋)
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Could I have a letter from Zemo to his partner-in-crime/lover? She managed to escape from being captured because of Zemo, but He couldn't.
Love you 👀💜🥺💜
I'm sitting here hoping all is well with you. I want to start by saying I am proud of you. Do not worry about me, I can handle my situation. I just worry you'll be lonely without me.
I you reached the safe-house with no trouble. It would be best if you remain there for a while. Let things cool down again before you make a move. I want you safe and sound for when I get out.
I wonder, will you wait for me? I did get you into all that trouble, so I wouldn't blame you if you never looked back. If you choose to stay, I'll be with you again soon, you can count on that.
I'll be thinking of you every day.
Be patient for me, my darling.
I'll see you soon.
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I am shattered I would very much like Daniel Brühl to cuddle me right now whilst whispering in whatever language he wants as he lulls me to sleep 🛌
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I have a few chapters written for my Robin Hood AU, but am going to get some more written so it's not just small stuff. Also so no one is left hanging before our favorite Baron is introduced. BUT that also means I have time to decide how dark I want to go with it.
(Cause I'm reading @mypoisonedvine stuff and dark!Bucky and dark!Zemo just seem so good right now.)
Here’s chapter four of my truth serum fic. Aka the smut chapter 🤣
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Hey love ur zemo x reader so much ❤️❤️
Can u write imagine with zemo where reader doesn't mind anything he's done bc she agrees with what avengers done even if she is one.
Love all ur work xxxx
Aww, thank you so much anon! That’s sweet of you to say :)
Here’s a short little piece where the reader (with telekinetic powers) grapples with the skewed morality of the world and tries to help Zemo escape Sam, Bucky and the Dora Milaje. (no warnings, just a flirty moment at the end)
Zemo is intrigued by you. It’s plain enough to see in his lingering stares. He tries to pass off his curiosity as cold, analytical disdain, but your keen instincts tell you otherwise. He likes you. What he doesn’t like are your mystical, superhuman abilities and unwavering allegiance to the Avengers. Which is a shame because… well- to be honest- you find the Baron oddly and unexpectedly charming. He adds a refreshing edge to your little group of misfit do-gooders. Zemo’s insight and assistance have been completely invaluable in locating the flagsmashers. You recognize that, even if your friends are too afraid to acknowledge it aloud.
At this point though, it’s only a matter of hours before the Dora Milaje show up to take the Baron away. The idea of sending Zemo straight back to prison doesn’t sit right with you. He’s a criminal, yes. But… are his crimes truly so unforgivable in this post-Thanos climate? You’d witnessed a great deal of death and destruction since joining the Avengers and frankly… Zemo has a point. The fallout produced by superhuman beings is often brushed under the rug as a necessary evil in the fight for the greater good while the sins of those struggling to make their voices heard are punished in the harshest, most unforgiving manner. Who’s to say that one man should get a second chance while another does not?
So when the opportunity arises and you find yourself alone with Zemo as John Walker storms in to intercept Sam and Karli- you decide to bend the rules and follow your instincts for once. Focusing quietly, you let your eyes fall shut and twist your wrist- willing the handcuffs that restrain your sole companion fall free. Zemo looks down at the cuffs and then up to you- a confused expression crossing his face. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t run. Instead, he rubs at his wrist and seems to await your explanation.
“Go,” you instruct simply, canting your head toward the open doorway.
A deeply furrowed brow is the only response you get.
“You heard me. Go on- get out of here!” you encourage hastily.
But Zemo does just the opposite- approaching you instead- clearly intrigued and perhaps even a bit wary of your intentions. You shift your weight from foot to foot, unsettled by his stare.
“The Dora are on their way. If you don’t leave now, I fear you’ll be back in a cell by the end of the day.” Your voice is weaker than usual as you realize just how much your friends would disapprove of your actions. And the fact that Zemo himself is questioning them does little to help quell your doubts.
“And you suddenly see fit to help me escape that fate?” the Baron queries. “Why is that?” His eyes bore into you with a familiar intensity but also a newfound softness.
“Because...” you mutter, glancing side to side in order to ensure that no one is around to hear. “I don’t think you’re so bad.” The confession comes out as little more than a sheepish whisper.
Zemo’s thin lips turn upward just barely as you regain composure.
“Look,” you continue. “I know you don’t like what I am, and I’m not sure there’s anything I can do about that. But I’m grateful for your cooperation in all of this. Truly, we couldn’t have done it without you. I’m trying to repay you with your freedom, but our window is limited,” you acknowledge urgently.
Still, Zemo remains. Hands clasped in front of his body casually, the man saunters forward until the two of you are face to face. “A life on the run is not so different from a life in a cell,” he remarks dryly. “I’m not going anywhere,” the Baron announces with eerie composure. The moment of silence that passes between you is charged with an energy you don’t fully recognize, or at least can’t quite bring yourself to acknowledge. Swallowing thickly, you cast your eyes down, uncertain how to reply.
“But it’s nice to know where your allegiances lie, schatzi,” Zemo whispers playfully in your ear as he leans in to remove your gun from its holster. You flinch but ultimately find yourself too flustered to react. With a wink, the man disappears, making his way toward the action. And suddenly you’re left alone, wondering what the hell had just happened and what you hope might happen going forward.
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100% more of Daniel Brühl's freckles in all Zemo fics thanks
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Just finished! ✨
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We Are Forever (Zemo x Reader)
"Baroness . . ."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
The coffin was too small. You cast your gaze to Helmut but he was eerily silent. The coffin was too small.
Your gloved hands ran along the wood. Took in the little flowers. There were a few people off to the side, weeping. Maybe they were paid. It certainly seems stupid to think that anyone could care about a little backwater family who were just trying to make their way in the world when they had been kicked out.
"My little star," you whispered, resting your head on the coffin. "Forgive your mother now."
"(Y/N) . . ."
"I won't leave you alone." Helmut reaches for your arm but you shut him off. "We'll be together soon."
"What are you doing here?" You spit. "Get out."
Rocking that stupid cup of cherry blossom tea. Hans isn't coming back. Your second boy, Daniel is almost six. It still sickens you that people said you'd lost Hans but still had one spare.
"You've known me all your life yet you still think you can tell me when to come and go."
""I . . ."
"How is our son?"
Part of you yells that Daniel is not his son. He was gone. A victim of his own blind hate, of his own blind rage and you. You could not stop yourself going over the rails, let aione him as well.
"Daniel is well," you murmur, gasping as you realise he's stood and began to walk towards you. "He's happy. Don't touch me, don't . . ."
He brushes a tear from your face as you turn from him. "Won't you say my name anymore?"
You wipe your eyes. "You name is on the divorce papers."
"I'm not leaving you."
"No. I'm leaving you."
"So that's what we come to is it?" He sneers. "We've kept every promise we ever made to each other. After I've killed for you, and worshiped you, and made love to you . . ."
"Didn't you hear?" You growl. "The depot in Munich got destroyed. You have nothing on me anymore. Nothing on my family anymore. No reason for me to stay your wife. I'm free of you. Now pick up the divorce papers, grab your junk, and get out of my house."
Your heart was waiting for his counter. And not long after he's taken the papers and his hand is on the door knob does he speak.
"You wake up every day at 7am, from your apartment in Manhattan. You wash and dress and have toast and orange juice for breakfast. At 8am, you take the route past the barber shop to take Daniel to Longheath where he meets a private tutor. You pick him up at 3 . . ."
"What's the point?" You manage to say.
"You forget me (Y/N). You forget what I used to do. I don't need a depot to have anything on you. You push the divorce and Daniel's in the wind. I told you we are forever."
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Headcanon about Zemo cuz yes.
Zemo used to dance classical dances (mostly ballet) and has a great flexibility and control over the balance of his movements, which makes him very careful unconsciously when fighting or doing activities that involve certain actions on kicks, turns and hand handling (we all saw him serving tea in the most delicate way).
I also totally believe that he always maintains a straight posture whether walking, sitting or at all times, because for him body language is something that speaks too much about oneself, so Zemo is usually always in a position that demands attention, respect and that demands you to understand that he is at all times in control of the situation, if something baffles him or causes him an unconscious reflex (e.g., when Bucky broke the glass cup and he reflexively jumped at the burst) these emotions are visible for just a second before he again shows himself inimitated by his surroundings, which I think he learned from behavioral lessons he had to undergo either in the army or in his own home.
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Guarding Your Heart (Helmut Zemo x Reader)
Request: THE ENDING WAS PURRRRRFECT i'm gonna miss tfatws sm. I don't know if on the raft they allow inmates to be visited but let's imagine it: you visiting zemo for the first time since he was sent there, a little angst cuz you can't have skin-to-skin contact anymore but you two talk about some things and how life is going, if everything is okay 🥺🥺🥺 (by anonymous), [Marvel-Masterlist]
Summary: Inmate: Helmut Zemo. Accommodation: The Raft. Visitors: Generally prohibited. Exceptions: Maintaining a friendly relationship with an Avenger.
Warnings: angst, jail (is that a warning?), fluff, feels, my emotions, I didn’t use any pronouns!, TFATWS spoilers, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
Countless attempts from your side had been ignored. You were an average citizen. No superpower, no higher-up. Ordinary. It appeared that the Raft did not think highly of such people. Not when they proposed to visit an inmate. And definitely not when said inmate was the same Baron who broke out of a high security jail in Germany. But he was yours. His imprisonment in Europe had not been as restricted. For his sake, you had moved to the other end of the world. Simply so you could spend a bit of time together every day. Your old life had been completely abandoned. And for almost ten years, Germany had been your home. Until Sam & Bucky entered your lives once again. Though you started off on the wrong foot, this time around, you were more than grateful for their presence. Without them, especially without the former Winter Soldier, Helmut would still rot away in that tiny prison cell. Your time together had been adventurous. Often hazardous. Life threatening. In the end, you made it out alive. Coming back stronger than ever before.
It could have been a fairy tale. A long awaited fulfillment of a seemingly impossible dream. Were it not for the Wakandans crushing your reverie at the worst place imaginable. The Sokovian memorial. Where you held one of his clothed hands in both of yours. Shedding tears, remembering his old life. His wife. His son. You would never replace them. At the same time, you did not even intend to. His past was part of him & made him to the man you loved endlessly. Bucky did not receive your blame. Were you mad at him for handing Helmut over to the Wakandans? Absolutely. Then again, the super soldier was the reason why he was out of jail in the first place. It was a fine line between resentment & gratitude.
Luckily, throughout the various missions you had been a part of, you gained Sam’s trust. He took a liking in you & when he saw you struggling, he was eager to help. Obviously, the Raft yielded when the Captain America himself transmitted an inquiry. Only a few hours passed & you were on your way to Helmut’s current accommodation. A small jet that had been arranged just for you. In this instant, you did not feel average anymore. For a second, you experienced what it would feel like to live this kind of lifestyle. The one of a Baron. Why you were still unfamiliar with that even though your boyfriend was rich? Truthfully, you did not touch his money at all. It was his & when he did not have access to it while imprisoned, you did not dare using it either. Loyalty. Of course Zemo suggested utilization for you but you declined politely. After reasoning enough, he swore he fell even harder for you. The staunchness of you was remarkable.
It was bizarre. Entering the Raft with multiple workers circling you. You were told that these were the security measures that had to be met if someone wanted to visit an inmate. To you, it sounded like a poor excuse but you would not speak that thought out loud. Prisoners needed social contact. Physical contact could not be provided, that much you understood. But one would go insane without having the opportunity to see another human being that was not a guard working here.
Your body was a mess. Heart hammering at your chest with such a force, you believed it would burst any second. Irregular breaths left your lips. Trembling hands fiddled with each other in order to prevent others from noticing. Weak knees that threatened to no longer stabilize your body weight with each step you took forward. To bystanders, you probably appeared as a put-together person. On the inside, there was chaos. Nothing but chaos. How would you react? How would he react? Would you have privacy? An audience? Observers? Innumerable questions flooded your mind. Seemingly, having only one purpose. To drown you. To drown every bit of you. But you would not succumb that easily. You were so close to where you wanted to be. The fight could not end now. Disappointment would cloud you. More importantly, it would cloud him.
Four guards. It took four guards to guide you through the facility. To your surprise, the insides radiated a calm, almost content atmosphere. The walk lasted an eternity. At least, that was what it felt like. Your Helmut occupied a cell at the very end of the building. No explanation had been given to you as to why they decided to accommodate him there. Maybe, with Sam’s assistance, you could change his quarters & move it further up to the entrance. That way, if you visited again, you would not have to waltz through every narrow hallway. Listening to the whimpers of some inmates. The screams. The bashing. The…pain. There was only one person here who you were familiar with. Helmut. The others? You had no idea what crimes they implemented to end up at a place as dark as this.
“He’s at the end of that corridor.” one of the guards motioned for the others to leave you alone. His hand gestured to a tall white door that had a small built-in window. Your sight was obstructed by the frosted glass of it.
“Will you join me?” you questioned, wanting to prepare for it if he had to accompany you.
“Generally, yes.” he breathed out, putting his hands in the pockets of his uniform. Then, he sighed quietly & eyed you once more. “But since it was requested you speak to him alone, I’ll leave you be.”
“Whose request was that?” your eyebrows furrowed. The Raft was not an institution for exceptions. At first, the mere thought of getting to see Helmut again was an impossibility.
“Captain America’s.” he stated monotonously. The way his face scrunched up made it obvious that he was less than pleased about this decision. As soon as you were out of here, you had to call Sam & thank him for making this feasible.
“Oh.” it was all you could muster at the moment. There was an overwhelming feeling you had to handle. And it was not exactly one of your specialties.
“The door is unlocked. Walk down the hallway & the cell will come into view. If something happens, there’s an emergency button that should be operated whe-“ you stopped him during his speech.
“Thanks for your concern but I’ll be just fine.” a genuine smile formed on your face. The guard nodded at you, still slightly uncertain, & turned around without another word. Letting the uncomfortable silence envelop you. Your legs were frozen in place, preventing you from running to him. Maybe it was the thought of having to say goodbye again. As wonderful as it was that you were allowed to visit him, the concept of abandoning him broke your heart. The difference between the jail in Germany & this one was that you could not linger close by. The trip lasted for a while. Daily visitations were out of the question.
Slow but steady steps moved you over to the door. A hand raised to the doorknob. The coldness of it grounded you the slightest bit. You had to take a few deep breaths, just like he had instructed you multiple times before, in order to reduce the fast, almost unhealthy pace of your beating heart. Your hand twisted the doorknob to one side & when you heard the lock click, you pushed the door open with your entire body weight. Otherwise, you would have been too weak to do so. Bright lights had you squint your eyes. A hand was used as a shield to block most of the luminosity. When your eyes adjusted to the different setting, you straightened your back & brushed non-existent dust from your clothes. This motion gave you something to do with your hands. It was a much needed distraction. You held your head high, looking straight forward to the very end of the corridor. At the sides, the walls were painted bright white. Almost too bright for your liking. It resembled a hospital & you had never enjoyed them. The consistency of it was broken with the glass wall you were staring at. The one which was straight ahead. His cell, you figured. But there was no silhouette you could make out. Considering the size, you should have noticed him already. But he was not there. So you no longer moved in slow motion but jogged over to the pane.
Fast footsteps echoed in Helmut’s ears. Time was fluid in a jail like that. But it had not been long since a guard brought him breakfast. Whoever visited him now, it seemed to be urgent on the basis of the fast pace they approached. He scooted closer to the frigid wall behind his bed. Something he did to mess with the employees here. At least it gave him something to do. Besides reading tons of books & listening to the radio that had been prepared for him. That was luxurious enough for an inmate. All of a sudden, it was silent. Too quiet for his liking. The next thing he heard was music to his ears.
“Helmut?” your broken voice whispered & filled the room. Was he turning hallucinational? Nobody would blame him in a place like this. But not even his imagination could recall your softness so perfectly. He stood up, carefully, & widened his eyes at the sight of you. There you were, on the other side of the transparent wall. Separating the outside world from the box he found himself in.
“(Y/N)? You’re here.” no time was wasted. Helmut dragged his body as close to yours as his cell allowed him to. One of his hands touched the smooth surface & you mimicked his actions. There were tears threatening to escape but you tried everything to keep them locked inside. “Don’t cry.” the volume of his voice had lowered. Nobody could listen to you in here but it almost felt illicit to talk at a normal volume.
“I’m sorry.” you chuckled shortly, your free hand coming to your face to wipe at your cheeks. How he wanted to be the one to touch your tender skin. To have you lean into his palm.
“What are you sorry for?” the proximity was given yet unattainable. Your gaze averted, staring at the pavement floor.
“I don’t know…For everything?” you shrugged your shoulders, laughing at how incomprehensible you sounded. Helmut shook his head. That was how he knew you. Always being the one to carry everyone’s burden on your own. Though you did not need to.
“Stop that.” it was an order but not a forceful one. One that eased the tension immediately.
“Okay.” you mouthed.
The floor was everything but comfortable but you made do. Sitting cross legged opposite of Helmut was dreamlike. In your dreams, you had skin-to-skin contact but that delight had been denied. Simply having him next to you was enough for now. Helmut had his elbows on his knees, watching your every move. Reminiscing every small detail he could get a glimpse of. But there was nothing new he came across. He remembered you like the back of his hand. Sometimes even more precisely than you did yourself. And yet, his observation resembled the first time when his warm, chocolate brown eyes fell onto your frame. Usually, you handled his stares well but something inside of you told you to inquire.
“What?” you asked with a playful, teasing tone. His eyes locked onto yours. You giggled at his confused state.
“Is there a problem?” Helmut turned insecure for a second. And people who knew him were aware that he was barely ever uncertain.
“No, not at all.” you shook your head to emphasize your words. “Just…you’re staring.” you called him out. It made him laugh, his head falling back briefly.
“Is it forbidden to stare?” one of his eyebrows perked up. “I believe most people are flattered by the attention.” though he played the serious act quite well, you could tell that he was joking.
“You’re awful.” you laughed at his antics.
“I am aware.” he saw you opening your mouth to disagree with him but Helmut was faster. “(Y/N)?”
“What is it?” you rested your intertwined hands in your lap. But he had noticed the trembles. He had noticed you struggling. And he realized that it was because of the position you were currently in.
“How is it like? Outside, I mean.” he skillfully changed the topic before the atmosphere between you two could shift in a negative way.
“You have a radio.” your finger pointed to the one sitting on a small table inside the cell right next to a stack of read-through books. “I’m sure you have an idea of what it’s like.”
“But I would love to hear it from you.” there was an encouraging smile on his lips that you could not resist, no matter what.
“Well, Karli’s dead. Sharon took care of her.” you began & watched him nodding approvingly. “Bucky finished his amends & it really looks like he’s doing much better. He’s taking baby steps but he’s doing well.” you could not suppress the small smile when you spoke about the super soldier. Helmut was not jealous. Bucky & you had become fast friends over time.
“Could you deliver a message from me?” he continued after a hum from you. “Tell James that I am happy for him. And thank him from me.” that warmed your heart. All of the previous disputes aside, they had started tolerating each other. You would not go as far as calling them friends but what was not could still be.
“I will.” you promised with certainty. “Right, um…Sam is Captain America. This job is made for him. I truly believe, with him, we’ll achieve great things.” you quieted down, not exactly knowing how to continue.
“So you established Sam’s & James’ success. But what about you?” he read you too easily. No other person saw through you like he did. That affirmed the close bond you two shared even further.
“What about me?” a phony dumfounded expression was plastered on your face.
“How have you been doing?” it was a question with so much emotion & care hidden beneath, it brought tears to the corners of your eyes instantly. Your attempts to blink them away were gratuitous. They started rolling down over your cheeks. So fast, in fact, you could not even wipe them away with your sleeves in time. Helmut’s heart broke at this sight of you. It was clear as day that you experienced a rough patch. The cause of it was him being imprisoned, that much he knew. “Talk to me.” he whispered & cursed the guards for not granting his partner access inside his cell. But they thought he would plan another escape. At the same time, they were unaware that he would not take the risk to jeopardize your safety with a second try.
“It’s…” you took a deep breath to steady your voice & avoid the wavering & cracking. “It’s been hard.” you admitted quietly. “Without you.” you finished. Your eyes flickered up to his face. His look brought you the tiniest bit of contentment. The way his body language could comfort you in such a way was prodigious.
“Love.” the nickname gained your entire attention. It was like all of your worries melted away by the simple sound of it rolling from his lips. The tears did not stop but they were mixed with happiness now. Gratitude that you shared this moment with him. You were here. Helmut was here. Similar to how it used to be. Yet, entirely different. “Please look at me when I tell you this.” & you obeyed without a second thought. “You are my world. If I could change this situation, trust me that I would instantly. I understand your struggles. And I abominate that I cannot dispose of your demons. Or make them part of my own. Your pain causes me aching ten times worse. It is painful seeing you like this. My love, you must promise me one thing.” it was hard for him to get through this speech without his voice fading at the emotions he was experiencing. But he had to stay strong for you. It would only cause you more distress if you noticed him showing how affected he truly was.
“Anything, Helmut.” your reply followed straight after. If he asked you for something, you would do your very best to make him proud of you.
“Promise me to take care of yourself. I would hate to watch you disappear because of me.” the sincerity assured you how important it was to him.
“Helmut, I don’t think I coul-“ he shushed you when he spotted what you were intending to do.
“Promise me, my love.” he repeated & you closed your eyes briefly, releasing another wave of tears.
“I promise.” your eyelids slowly opened & you could detect the relief in his at your words.
“How did you persuade them into visiting an inmate?” the atmosphere had shifted to a relaxing feel once again. And his attempt to start another conversation was welcomed.
“I didn’t do anything. Though I’ve tried multiple times…Sam came to my aid.” you chuckled at the memory & the excitement you emitted after his call. The news had been the best in a very long time.
“Ah, of course, if Captain America requests a visitation…” Helmut started.
“The chiefs are on board in an instant.” you finished his sentence & the both of you laughed at the tomfoolery.
“Means that Sam is the reason for your stay.” you confirmed his thought process quietly. “Please express my gratitude for him as well.”
“Will do.” you wanted to maintain the dialogue with him but a loud noise from behind you caught you by surprise. The same guard who had instructed your appropriate behavior inside these hallways was back. There was a look on his face you could not quite identify but it left you uneasy.
“Time’s over.” the statement felt like someone stabbed you with a knife. Not once, not twice. Multiple times to cause as much damage as possible. Helmut then stood up from the floor, gesturing for you to do the same. The moment you were on your feet again, your knees were close to giving out. Digging deep inside, you mustered all the strength you had left & fixed your posture. You did that to avoid radiating a fragile appearance. “Bid your goodbyes, I’ll wait by the door.” the guard took his place in the doorway, waiting for you to approach him. Your body faced Helmut’s & you rested both of your hands on the glass in front of you. He mimicked you & if it were not for the transparent border, you would have touched.
“I’ll miss you.” you whispered as you pressed your forehead against the boundary.
“I will miss you more.” he followed right after. “But you are always here with me.” one hand rested above his heart. Goodbyes were difficult. Especially with the ulterior motive of not returning the following day. It would most likely take a while until you would face him again. Secretly, so nobody could discern what you were doing, you pulled a small paper out of your pocket & pushed it through one of the many, tiny holes in the glass wall. It dropped to the floor on the other side. Helmut sent you a questioning glance which you retuned with a soft, gentle smile. Coughing behind you brought you back to reality. You had to leave. As much as it hurt, you turned your back to Helmut & distanced yourself from his cell. Arriving at the exit, you looked over shoulder one last time. One last time, your eyes locked. One last time, you let your tender features speak. One last time. While you walked away from him, he picked the small paper up from the ground. Unfolding it with much care, his eyes got stuck on three little words that were neatly curved in your handwriting. So when your eyes met, he returned that favor without anyone realizing it. His lips moved & you saw him mouthing that same phrase back. Your smile grew wider, as did his. And then you were gone. Of course, you would come back. And with Sam’s help, it would probably be sooner rather than later. He stared at the door where you just walked through. His gaze then turned to the paper in his hands. Never would he let go of it again. He would treat it like it was made out of gold. To him, it was. And it was worth so much more. The feeling it triggered inside of him could not be purchased. It could only be provided by a special someone. That special someone was you. Reading through the note one more time, he sat down on the uncomfortable mattress. The displeasure was ignored for now. For a minute, he bathed in the loving emotions you brought to him.
“I love you. -xo(Y/N)”
Published (05/09/2021) by Cathy
✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨
Tags: @there-will-be-p-e-a-c-e, @simply-skeletons, @weareironmanbitches, @yallgotkik, @noavengers, @lieutenantn, @birdieofloxley, @aisling1985, @trelaney, @bibliophilewednesday, @msmarvelsmain, @takacsgram, @ya-boi-is-dead, @deamus-liv, @therenlover (thanks for your support <3)
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(Inspo came from a fic on Ao3 called “The Baron” by stopmysinfulhand, thank you greatly for that) (also sorry if it doesnt look exactly like daniel bruhl i tried man)
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why do they look so much like a boy band
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