#i cannot pull together the words to express my gratitude but you can have my rib cage while this man holds my heart captive
Haha Whoops Uh Oh! (UPDATED 6/11/23)
so this isn't the type of post I normally like to make, but! uh! hey! I just got ambushed by a HUGE tuition bill I wasn't expecting, and I'm out of options to pay it - they've already applied my scholarship and loans, I'm already working multiple jobs that are basically just barely paying for rent + groceries, and I only have enough on my credit card to pay for One of the three payments they're requiring, which only gets me through till July (with, again, no options that get me that amount of money by that time).
further full disclosure, this bill came at like, the worst possible time - they've given me four days to make at minimum the first payment (which, again, I can only do by maxing out my credit card), and on top of juggling multiple jobs I'm also in the middle of two classes, including one which involves upcoming travel (that is already paid for, thank god). Hence, me Scrambling a li'l bit!!
as such, I've set a new goal on my ko-fi!! it is, of course, HUGE, but genuinely any small amount people are able to contribute goes a huge way to giving me SOME way to pay it off. note that 3-coffee doodle requests are still A Thing, commissions are still a thing (if you have one active I'll be getting to them this & next week), and I'll be streaming wherever I can to pull together money that way - wherever it comes, any support is HUGE and I mean that.
UPDATE 6/11/23: I am updating the original post to remove the ko-fi link and yet you fine folks know: HOLY HECK, y'all managed to get my tuition dealt with. words truly cannot express my gratitude for that - I'm so, so, SO humbled and thankful for everyone who came out to get me out of a really rough situation.
in the slightest, smallest attempt to pay forward the kindness i've been shown, I'm gonna try and use this moment to direct y'alls attention to some other folks I know who could use some kindness! hardly comprehensive, in no particular order, just top-of-my-mind type type beat. (note that these are all folks' twitter handles - some of 'em are on tumblr too, but I figure best to direct you to where I know they are 100%!)
@/Pochiyaki is a friend & artist who's been trying to get out of a bad money situation a while, and could definitely use some love!
@/rudeboimonster is similarly a dear friend who's been struggling to find long-term work and housing, anything you got would help.
Or, considering supporting the work of a creative you love! A few I've been loving lately that I'd recommend:
@/cosmignon (Runaway Draikana webcoming, and other comics and illustration work)
@/SynthCharmVA (voicework & writing/show development)
@/Tonya_Song (music - including vocals, piano and composition - plus education and activism work)
@/jaypg_art (character design, visdev, and illustration)
@/littlegoodfrog (Matchmaker and other comics)
@/winonaparadise (Girls With Horns and other comics/illustration work)
@/derekmballard (comics, including the upcoming Cartoonshow graphic novel)
@/_PartyCoffin_ (Welcome Home, and just about every art form you can conceive of)
and of course, if you're not following & supporting my amazing partner @/hollowtones, who helped me through this tough situation in every possible way - well you ought to be!! a delight and talent in every imaginable way, and I'm only a little biased on that.
and above all else... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!
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for secret admirer, them going to the strawberry field together for a lil picnic, reading,stealing kisses, napping, eating, talking all giggly and just in love and it being a tradition for them 🥹
I cannot with this. I am so incredibly soft right now it is crazy 🥹🥹 I made it into a little fic because, why not??? I hope you like reading this lovely anon 💓💓 do let me know your thoughts!
les fleurs du mal — a secret admirer blurb
PAIRING: high schooler!soft!rafe cameron x high schooler!fem!reader
SUMMARY: just another day of you and Rafe in the strawberry field which holds a billion memories for you.
WARNINGS: so much soft and fanon rafe, fluff fluff fluff
EDITH SPEAKS: secret admirer!rafe is my forever boyfriend. period. I don’t want anyone else but him.
navigation || join my taglist || requests || series masterlist
You clutch onto Rafe’s hand as he leads you through the rows of low lying strawberry bushes. With one hand grasping on a basket and the other in yours, Rafe makes his way through the small trail which goes up to the tree.
As you reach the clearing, Rafe gives you a small smile as he sets the basket down, pulling out a blanket for you. The red and white plaid contrasts the lush green of the grass as the blanket settles on the ground. You both sit down, and you peek into the basket.
“What all do you have in there?” You ask, not really being able to make out what the basket contains.
“Oh it’s just…” he says, starting to pull out small boxes, “some stuff I made for you,” he smiles. He opens them one by one, and you see small delicacies in each one of them. You gasp as he nudges a box closer to you. It contains cookies; two cookies sandwiched together with a layer of strawberry jam in between them.
“Whoa…” you say with utter awe as you take a cookie in your hand and taste it. The buttery flakiness of the cookie and the sweetness of the jam fills your mouth, creating a complete symphony. “That’s so good,” you say with your voice muffled.
Rafe chuckles softly at you as he eats one of the cookies too. “It is huh?” He smiles at you, his own voice slightly muffled as he chews on the cookie. A comfortable silence falls over you two as you hear the soft rustle of the leaves from the breeze, the birds chirping in the distance, and your own rhythmic breathing.
“Oh I forgot I got you something,” you say, getting your bag. Rafe looks at you a little confused as he sees you rummaging through your back, but his eyes light up when you pull out a book.
“Les Fleurs du mal,” he whispers as he takes the book from your hand. “Oh my god…” His eyes are wide as he holds the book in his hands and looks at it as if it’s sacred. Les Fleurs du mal is a book of French poetry by the great Charles Baudelaire. Rafe has always told you how much he wants the book, wanting to explore more about French poetry, but he totally didn’t expect you to just give him a copy of it.
“You’re giving me… wow I-” he says, stumbling over his own words as he tries to find words to express his gratitude.
“It was a little struggle to get you a nice copy of it, but I found one,” you say with a smile. “Now you can write me letters with poetry from this book,” you joke.
“Oh you know that,” he says, chuckling softly. “But, wow… thank you mon amour,” he moves closer to you to press multiple kisses to your cheek, his hair tickling you softly.
“You’re welcome,” you whisper, looking up at him with a pink tint lighting your cheeks. He moves to sit closer to you, bringing his knees closer to his chest as he rests the book against his thighs. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting out a sigh as you eat more of his cookies and watch him start to flick through the book.
You can hear the birds chirping in the distance as Rafe flicks through the book, sometimes stopping in between to read out a certain poetry or prose from the book; his pronunciations right on spot.
“Mon enfant, ma sœur, songe à la douceur, d'aller là-bas vivre ensemble…” He mumbles softly. You let his words sink in yourself for a moment, your mind working to translate what it means.
“Imagine, ma petite, dear sister mine, how sweet were we to go and take our pleasure leisurely, you and I — to lie, to love, to die, off in that land made to your measure,” You sigh softly, closing your eyes for a moment as you take in a deep breath, the carefully curated words hitting in your mind in a way that seems to wake you – make you more feel more blissful.
Rafe smiles at you, your words bringing a certain pleasure to him. He presses a soft kiss on your forehead, resting his head on top of yours. And that is how the rest of your evening goes; he recites lines to you in french, you tell those back in English, and both of you simply cherish each other’s company. The sun starts to set in the distance, the rays paint you golden with their warmth, and you can’t help but let the little smile keep on pulling your lips, after all, what’s better than having a boy you absolutely adore in a strawberry field, reciting French poetry with, eating little strawberry biscuits with, and kissing? You fail to see anything better than that.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury @newsies-pape-girl @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @rafegirly @addriaenne @leighbronk @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @raf3sgff @aerangi @drewstarkey1bae @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl
(send me any of your secret admirer thoughts and/or your thoughts on drew/rafe/zach! sfw only! <3)
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Criminal Haven
Read chapter 1 here
Chapter 2: Emotions? How About No
—The Leader—
Darkness' revelation brings fresh questions to the table. Some of which I could answer right now but I rather not think of them yet and draw conclusions– not without discussing them with Jake.
I glance at him, searching in his face if he's thinking the same. The expression he gives me as he looks down at me tells me that we are indeed thinking the same thing.
“Who is he?” Hannah breaks the silence, her tone has become that of a tired worker. She longer hides her wince as new information keeps surfacing. For her, it might be exhausting. For Jake and I, it is everything. The scheming, the truth and the lies, the masks and the uncoverings– we can never alter our minds out of this catacomb of games.
“He contributed to finding you.” He explains, vaguely. But I think he has not read much of my and darkness' messages. I think he realises that too as he sighs. He pulls someone's emptied chair– Richy’s, I think and places it facing both my and Kai’s chairs.
I add, “He was the most cooperative person, believe me.” I turn to Hannah. “If I were you, I’d thank him.” I curl my lips into a natural smile.
She stares at me, blankly, standing in the middle of the room. She looks as if she doesn't understand what I am implying. She's suffering from unimaginable things, I understand that. I feel that better than anyone else. Considering her condition, I won't ask much of her in whatever escape plan we might come up with. But that doesn't mean she’ll be excused from endeavouring as little as saying a thank you.
‘Say it.’ I mouth to her. My natural smile turned into a threatening one, unintentionally, but I can't deny that it has worked every time.
Her eyes dart to Jake who cannot see my face. I don't know if he encouraged her to do it or not but she whispers, “Thank you.” to the walls as I keep my glare pinned on her.
Go easy on her, I remind myself, mostly because Jake would prefer the same thing. I turn almost too quickly realising how much Jake is interfering in my smallest decisions.
Kai acknowledges her gratitude as he nods to the floor.
I make a mental note: he can be helpful but he's awkward accepting compliments or gratitude. That concludes why it was necessary for me to compliment me and for the same matter, Hannah to thank him. He already believes it my fault that he's here. I'm not afraid to accept that he is. But if he blames the part he played in Hannah's search, he might as well believe that he did it well.
Jake is looking at me strangely. I ignore directly looking at him exactly like I ignored Richy’s defeated figure dropped into a corner, his legs pulled to his chest and his head on his knees.
This isn't like solving a mystery through texting. This is real life and I cannot be vulnerable to one person while being persuasive to someone else on the different chat window.
I have to mention the mindset where my mind weighs more than my heart. That is the only way to get things done. We can be vulnerable when we are safe.
I inhale a deep breath, hardening my posture. “If we really want to get the hell out of here,” I speak loudly, ensuring my voice reaches Richy in the corner. I continue, “We’d need to stick together. Doesn't matter if you hate each other. Suck it up and bear it.”
I’m on my feet when I take a turn towards the door. Richy’s head turned in my direction. I realise, it's not only him. Everyone's looking at me.
“I don't really expect anything from you. Don't want to help? Don't. Just don't get in my way.” I announce, loud and clear. Though expecting the opposite of what words suggest. “Questions?”
Dead silence.
“Need a ten to think?” I provoke.
Kai is the first (and probably the only one who would) raise a question. He begins by quoting me, “Don't want to help? Don't.” I remain composed as he continues, “More like don't want to follow? Then, don't. But you know, whoever leads the way out of here, others will follow him or her.” I break into a smile, realising what he's bringing to others' attention. “You're just initiating to make sure that we follow you.”
I stride towards him as I quote him, “Initiating.” I stop by the chair I was sitting on and place my head on it. “That’s right. I am initiating. And if anyone else had the balls to do the same, they would have. But no one did. I guess that justifies why you should follow me.”
“Well, you couldn't have initiated it if he didn't uncuff you.” He gestures to Jake who is about to interfere. But that looks weak on my part. I appreciate it but I don't need it.
“That's a petty argument.” I cut in before Jake could. I shake my head at Jake as I pace towards Kai.
“Reasonable enough.” He refutes.
Stopping behind his chair, I break off a shim from the chair and use it to unlock his handcuffs. I intentionally pulled the shim from the part of the chair which was reachable in handcuffs.
Jake is by my side in a matter of seconds, probably because he doesn't trust Kai yet. But I do, to a certain extent which tells me he would not physically hurt me. He's just pissed.
“Now,” I talk loudly again. “Anyone up for breaking down that door?” I point at it with one finger.
—The Hacker—
From the moment she called reading Dan and Jessica's conversation illegally an exciting event, I knew she was trouble. And she only keeps proving it again and again. Sometimes, I admire it. Sometimes, it throws me to the edge.
Like right now. I understand what she was aiming for. There's no way out if we operate like five individuals without a common link who we all trust at some level. But she didn't hesitate once before uncuffing this guy none of us knows enough to trust.
Hannah, MC and I stand back as Richy and Pierce hammer their shoulders against the door. They continue thrice without pause but the door doesn't budge. They take a moment.
Kai glances back at me. “Why isn't he helping us again?”
This is why I prefer to work alone (and of course, this preference doesn't apply to MC). I don't like being questioned. “Is the door broad enough for the three of us?” I reason, very calmly.
They continue at it, knowing they are the two least trusted people in our group and raising nonsensical questions wouldn't change that. After six minutes, the door broke.
Neither of the guys step outside. Instead, they step aside, catching their breaths and stealing glances outside the door. MC is the first one to shift to the door. I grab her hand at the threshold. She glances at me as I step outside the door before her. “After me,” I tell her. She complies.
I glance in both directions. The corridor stretches so long in both directions– it seems endless. They are almost identical except there seems to be a little light coming from the right. Little by little, everyone's out in the corridor.
“Which way is it? We should go to the right. There's light coming from there so it isn't a dead end.” Hannah comments, her voice growing anxious.
“Should we break into two groups or something?” Kai suggests as no one addresses Hannah’s opinion because she's making a rookie mistake– being hasty and going with the obvious choice.
I think of Kai’s suggestion but I can't come up with a possible reasonable arrangement of two groups without separating me and MC.
“No.” I answer.
“So we choose one? On what basis?”
“We’ll come up with the basis if you stop asking questions.”
He glares at me, pissed. Then, he glances at MC and looks away. Everytime I say something to him, he looks at her as if reconsidering arguing with me for her sake. My eyes fly to her as well, wondering if she noticed it. But she's distracted and hasn't said anything after stepping out of the door.
She's shifted towards the left corridor. While everyone looks around, she looks down at the floor. I walk to her, she crouches down and picks something up. I bend to see a note in her hand at the same time she springs up. Her head collides with my chin.
She looks up, annoyed as I hide my smile. “What are you, glancing down at me? My guardian angel?” She takes a tiny step back.
“I’d prefer being called a partner.” I retort. “Although, I do feel bad for your guardian angel.”
She shoves a hand at my chest, walking past me but stops. I follow her gaze– everyone looks at us questionably, clearly not having as much fun as us. She clears her throat, the first time getting awkward.
“What does the note say?” Kai asks.
“What does the note say,” she echoes mockingly or …playfully?
I peer at the note as she read, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood/ And sorry I could not travel both.”
“Robert Frost.” I say, immediately.
She nods a couple times. “The road not taken.”
“What’s that?” Hannah asks. I remember our conversations via emails and literature wasn't one of the topics ever. Come to think of it, we had nothing in common.
“A poem.” MC and I say I'm unison.
Kai jumps in. “Didn’t he take the less travelled path?”
Both of us nod. Richy adds something for the first time. “Well, how did he decide which one was the least travelled?” He looks at no one in particular.
“The less travelled one was more grassy.” MC answers.
“So in our case, the less travelled one would be the left one, right? Because it's dark and could be a dead end or something.” Kai remarks.
“So can be the right one.” Hannah weighs in.
“At least it has the probability of having a window.”
I contemplate the poem, analysing from word to word. I remember each word clearly. “No,” I cut in. “We are taking the words at face value. The message of the poem wasn't to travel a less taken route. It was to make a decision carefully.”
MC looks at me, creasing her brows. “Then, we are at square one again.”
“No, we are not. Half of us thought about taking the less travelled path which means that is exactly what he wanted us to think.” I point out.
“Which means,” MC points at the way from where a tiny ray of light penetrates. “That's where we need to go.”
“Exactly.”
We start following the light. I can sense the others are not entirely sure of this but they will begin trusting us as we’ll give them hope by getting nearer to the way out.
A small smile emerges on MC's lips as we walk behind others. “You a literature guy?” She gives me a side look.
“You have no idea.” I tell her and then, I add, “We need to talk.”
She nods. “We do.” She whispers. “The only way that a lunatic could know about Kai is by having access to my messages. You had access to my messages. You're a hacker.” I smile, knowing we were thinking the same thing again.
“We are up against a hacker.”
“One who's pissed off. Can you think of anyone?”
I inhale. “I could think of a thousand. I've screwed many guys in the same field as me but none was as strong as to have all of us here.”
She considers it silently.
“We have another thing to discuss.”
She thinks for a moment as she arrives at no answer, she looks at me, “What thing?”
“Unlocking his handcuffs when you know a hundred ways it could turn out as a bad idea.” I don't beat around the bush.
“I needed to show him that I trust him to have him do the same. And I don't like being looked down upon.”
“I know you won't stop doing risky things just because I tell you not to. And I won't tell you that. Just promise to give me a heads up before you do something like that again. Deal?” I say, softly.
“Deal. But you have to promise not to talk me out of my stunts.”
“Deal.”
She offers her fist and I bump mine against it lightly.
______________________________________
*Not edited*
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I wanna thank @lyon-amore and @itsnotzka for helping me figure Darkness' character. The reason this chapter took me as long as it did is because i was having trouble with Darkness' character because I forgot most of him.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
:)
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I just wanted to come on here and thank both you and @thescarlettvvitch IMMENSELY. I struggle and have struggled for what feels like my entire life, with depression, anxiety, and the list goes on and on… But, Just Pretend means so much to me. It has been my saving grace for the last few months. It’s my safe place and the amount of times that I have gone back and reread the entire thing from start to it’s current chapter, or have even gone back just to reread my favorite chapters and favorite bits, is more then all 10 fingers and toes combined lol. Music has always been something that I turned too and would submerge myself in to take me away from it all and block out all the overbearing things surrounding my brain. But lately, Just Pretend is now what I reach for when I need a place to escape to drown out the noise. Although, it’s Angel and Noah’s world, in a sense, I feel like it’s also my world too. It’s my safe place and I know that if things are feeling a little too overwhelming, I can always open the tumblr app and can count on Noah & Angel to clear my head for a bit, or for hours on end. I cannot put into words or express my gratitude enough to either of you to measure up to how much Just Pretend has helped me through these last few weeks. I absolutely meant it when I said that both of you could be writing novels that sell out and are hard to keep stocked on the book shelves every week at all the book stores. The way you both are able to write these stories and fully encapsulate all the emotions and every single character, no matter how big or small their role in the story is, is absolutely astonishing. I just wanted to leave this in your inbox because I know you both have posted about how this week has been a bit rough for the both of you. But just know, that your work has saved people and granted them happiness and a sense of purpose when they needed it the most. I will always be here to continue coming back to read Just Pretend and drown myself out in Mochi, Angel, and fruit basket citrus sock smearing Jesse’s world. Thank you again, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. I cannot wait to see what you both have come up with for the next two chapters.💗 Also, sorry this was so long!🫣
Oh wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Anon you have rendered me and @thescarlettvvitch speechless.
First off, I want to say you’re not alone. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. It’s not easy. Some days(like this past week) are really hard. So to hear that Just Pretend helps you through yours makes me fall to my knees. I’m so so glad our story can be a positive outlook on life when the darkness seems to pull you under.
My work saved people? Our silly little story about Noah Sebastian saved people? I’m just at a loss for words because we NEVER thought it would be like this. In the best way possible. You guys say it all the time that Just Pretend is the best Noah fic on here but I still don’t believe it. We just thought it would be something fun to do together. We never imagined it would turn into something so magical and life saving.
I truly believe this is what Noah meant in the Rock Sound interview. Bad Omens has brought together so many different people with different backgrounds and who are going through their own struggles and find peace in the things Bad Omens created and what others create for/ because of Bad Omens.
With all the negativity Bad Omens is getting right now, I would love to show them this. Tell them that this is what their music is doing to/for their fans and the people that support them through and through.
But then again, I truly hope Noah never finds this story 😂
Again anon, thank you so fucking much from the bottom of our hearts. You guys don’t understand how comments like this brighten our day and make this whole writing thing fucking worth it. We absolutely love you all.
Thanks for being here. And enjoy the rest of this wild fucking ride that is my blog.
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Y/N & Ron Weasley Getting Caught Making Out by Molly Weasley
Y/n and Ron had found a quiet spot behind the Burrow away from the prying eyes of Ron's brothers and friends. The two of them had been secretly dating for a few months now keeping their relationship hidden from Ron's nosy and overprotective mother Molly Weasley.
As they embraced each other their lips locked in a passionate kiss they were completely lost in the moment. Their hands wandered and their bodies pressed close forgetting everything else but this stolen moment of bliss.
Unbeknownst to them Molly Weasley had just stepped out onto the back porch intending to call Ron inside for dinner. With a tray of freshly baked apple pies in her hands she stopped abruptly her eyes widening in shock as she witnessed her youngest son and Y/n locked in an intimate embrace.
Molly's face flushed with a mix of embarrassment shock and anger. She dropped the tray of pies causing them to crash to the ground below. The sound of the shattering plates snapped Y/n and Ron out of their trancelike state and they quickly pulled away from each other a look of pure panic etched on their faces.
"Mum!" Ron stammered his ears turning bright red. "I... we... it's not what it looks like!"
Molly's voice trembled with a mix of fury and disbelief as she struggled to find her words. "Ronald Bilius Weasley! How could you? And right here behind the house? I can't believe this!"
Y/n's heart sank as she realized the gravity of the situation. She had always known Molly to be a strict and traditional woman when it came to matters of romance and she could only imagine how disappointed she must feel in Ron. Y/n looked down at her feet wishing she could disappear.
"I... I'm sorry Mum Ron mumbled his voice barely audible. "We were just... carried away I guess."
Molly took a deep breath trying to compose herself. "Carried away? Ronald you know very well that we have rules in this house! You cannot just go around making out with someone behind our backs!"
"I know Mum Ron said his voice filled with guilt. "I didn't mean to disrespect you or the rules. I really care about Y/n and we just... we got caught up in the moment."
Molly sighed her anger gradually dissipating replaced by a mix of concern and disappointment. She looked at Y/n who had finally found the courage to lift her gaze.
"Y/n I know you're a good person Molly said her voice softening. "And I understand that young people sometimes make mistakes. But my dear I expect better from you as well. You both need to learn to control your impulses and show more respect for yourselves and others."
Y/n nodded tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry Mrs. Weasley. We never meant to disrespect you or your rules. We'll be more careful in the future I promise."
Molly sighed again her expression softening. She reached out and gently placed a hand on Y/n's shoulder. "Y/n dear I believe you. Just please remember that actions have consequences and it's important to be mindful of that. Now let's go inside. I'll make a fresh batch of apple pies and we can all sit down for dinner and talk about this like a family."
Y/n and Ron exchanged glances feeling a mix of relief gratitude and determination. They knew they had made a mistake but with Molly's understanding and guidance they would work on rebuilding the trust they had inadvertently shattered.
Together they walked back toward the house ready to face the consequences of their actions and learn from their youthful indiscretions.
Harry Potter Masterlist
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‘Shadows United’
chapter three: whispers of the heart
> thought chapter two was a bit short so here’s one more chapter 😍
(3)
The days turned into weeks, and Y/N's trainings continued under the watchful eyes of Nanami Kento and Maki Zenin. Together, they honed her skills, facing countless challenges and emerging victorious. The bond between them deepened, forged through shared experiences and the unspoken understanding that united them.
One evening, as the moon cast its ethereal glow upon the city, Nanami and Y/N found themselves alone in the tranquility of the jujutsu sorcerer headquarters' rooftop garden. The scent of blooming flowers filled the air, and a gentle breeze stirred the leaves of surrounding trees.
Nanami leaned against the railing, his eyes fixed on the distant horizon. While the smaller figure stood beside him, her heart pounding with a mix of nervousness and longing. The unspoken connection between the two of them had grown stronger, and the weight of their feelings had become too great to bear in silence.
Taking a deep breath, heart beating fast, Y/N finally turned to Nanami, her voice barely above a whisper. "Nanami-sensei, there's something I've been meaning to tell you."
Nanami's gaze shifted from the distance to her eyes, his expression curious yet attentive. "What is it?"
Y/N's hands trembled slightly, palms sweating but her resolve remained steadfast. "The more I think about it, the more I realize that my feelings for you go way beyond just admiration or gratitude. Nanami-sensei, I think I've fallen in love with you."
A flicker of surprise danced in Nanami's eyes, quickly replaced by a warmth that spread across his features. He reached out, with a smile, and gently placing a hand on her shoulders. "Your words touch me deeply. I have felt a growing affection for you as well, but I hesitated to acknowledge it, fearing the complications it could bring."
Y/N's heart skipped a beat, hope bubbling within them. "Complications...?"
Nanami's voice was laced with both tenderness and caution. "As a jujutsu sorcerer, our duty is to protect others, to fight against curses. Love has its place, but it can also be a vulnerability, a distraction that could put both of us in danger. I cannot guarantee our safety if we choose to pursue this path."
Y/N's eyes glistened with determination. "Nanami-sensei, I understand the risks, but I believe that love can be a source of strength. Together, we can face any challenge that comes our way. I don't want to live in fear of what might happen. I want to embrace this love we share."
Nanami's gaze softened, still smiling, his hand gently cupping her cheek. "Your conviction is unwavering, and your words resonate within me. Perhaps you are right. Love can be a force that fuels our determination, that gives us the courage to fight for what we believe in."
In that moment, the world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them standing on the rooftop, their hearts entwined. Slowly, Nanami leaned in, his lips gently meeting hers in a tender and heartfelt kiss.
Time stood still as their lips lingered, a silent promise passing between them. In that single moment, they let go of their fears and embraced the love that had blossomed between them, unyielding and resilient.
As they pulled away, their eyes met, and a soft smile graced their lips. The weight of unspoken words had been lifted, replaced by a newfound understanding and a shared commitment to face whatever challenges lay ahead, hand in hand.
In the moonlit rooftop garden, surrounded by the beauty of nature and their own blossoming love, Nanami and Y/N had found solace and strength. United by their shared affection, they vowed to navigate the complexities of their relationship, standing resolute against the shadows that threatened to tear them apart.
Their whispered confessions had set them free, allowing their love to flourish and illuminate even the darkest corners of their world. With renewed determination, they would continue their fight against curses, side by side, knowing that their love would be their guiding light.
story masterlist
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Sanctuary - Venti x Reader
You and Venti, the whimsical bard and deity of Mondstadt, have shared countless adventures and forged a deep bond of friendship. Together, you've braved the perils of Teyvat, unraveled its mysteries, and stood side by side through it all. But as the days pass, Venti's heart swells with emotions he never anticipated.
He watches you with eyes filled with both adoration and sorrow. Venti, being an eternal god, is burdened by the knowledge that mortals have limited lifespans. The weight of this realization presses upon him, threatening to shatter the fragile peace he has found in your presence.
Unable to bear the thought of losing you, Venti decides to keep you close, shielding you from the outside world. He creates a sanctuary, a haven where time seems to stand still, a place where he can cherish every moment spent with you. Here, the sun always shines, and flowers bloom eternally.
Within this sanctuary, Venti showers you with affection and devotion, cherishing every smile, every laugh, every shared conversation. He's attentive to your every need, ensuring your happiness and safety. You become his world, his sole focus.
He shields you from the ravages of time, shielding you from the inevitable reality that mortals must face. Venti guards you fiercely, never letting you leave his sight, as if the outside world could steal you away from him.
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and time seems to blur within this sanctuary. Venti's love for you deepens with each passing moment, his heart overflowing with a bittersweet blend of joy and melancholy. He knows that he cannot keep you here forever, yet he clings desperately to the fleeting fragments of time he has been gifted.
One evening, as you sit together under the starry sky, Venti takes your hand in his, his touch gentle and reverent.
"Mc," he whispers, his voice laced with an underlying sadness. "I love you more than words can express. Every day spent with you is a treasure to me. But... I also know that one day, you will have to leave this place, and I cannot bear the thought of losing you."
Tears shimmer in his eyes, reflecting the starlight above. "Please understand, my love. I'm trying to protect you, to shield you from the pain of mortality. I want to cherish every moment we have together, even if it means keeping you within these walls."
You gaze into his eyes, the weight of his love and his fears washing over you. You understand the depth of his emotions, the tumultuous struggle that rages within his heart. Silently, you reach out, cupping his cheek and guiding his gaze to meet yours.
"Venti," you whisper, your voice filled with tenderness and understanding. "I know our time together is limited, but that doesn't mean we can't embrace it fully. Life is made up of moments, both joyous and painful. I choose to experience those moments with you, regardless of the pain that may come."
A mixture of relief and vulnerability dances across Venti's features as he realizes the depth of your understanding. He pulls you into an embrace, holding you tightly against his chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against your ear.
"I love you, Mc," Venti murmurs, his voice filled with a mixture of gratitude and longing. "Thank you for choosing to share this fleeting existence with me. I will cherish every day, every hour, every second by your side."
In that moment, amidst the sanctuary he created, you find solace and acceptance. Together, you navigate the boundaries of mortal and god, intertwining your destinies as you face the inevitable passage of time. In each other's arms, you find strength and love, defying the limitations of mortality with an unyielding bond that transcends the realms.
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I Love Being Loved By You
How could I express all my gratitude?
You never left me throughout my storm.
Your peace and comfort abound.
No matter how many days of hopelessness make a sound,
At the end of the day, your words linger around.
You taught me how to seek you,
You taught me how to focus on you.
Your promises always shine on me,
Like a sunrise that breaks the dawn of darkness.
Even when I have moments of doubt,
You still hold onto me and never leave me alone.
A day of "I can't do this" is replaced by "My child, I will do it for you."
I gave it all to you as I watched you gently pull me up with you.
You walk before me and give me the strength to follow you.
I may be broken and crawling behind you,
Yet you give me peace to trust you.
You lead the way, and no matter how slow my pace is,
You wait for me to stand and continue.
Negative thoughts might attack me at any moment,
But they are nothing compared to the journey we have experienced.
We have come this far because of you,
Not because of me, but because of all that you have done for me.
You have never left me,
And I love the way you love me.
I thought I was alone, but you simply separated me.
You taught me how to listen and seek you,
You molded my faith and taught me to trust you.
Even my prayers are not the same as before,
As the length and words spoken deep from my heart was new.
Now, in these days, I still want to learn from you,
I know this is just the beginning,
I know there will be more chapters in our journey,
But I will not stop calling your name.
I want to become more like you,
So please don't stop teaching me the things I need to make me whole.
I am immensely grateful that I have come to know you better,
And I still want to know you more.
We have accomplished great things together, and we can do it again.
My love for you cannot be compared to how much you love me,
And for that, I will give thanks to you at any time of the day.
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THIS MAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Could I request a Bucky Barnes x reader smut? Basically she and Bucky have been together for some time and maybe it’d be a little angst where the two are talking about the future and Bucky not thinking he can ever have a normal future? Which would result in soft smut and later reader being revealed as pregnant so Bucky finally gets his family
I’m Home
Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary | based on the request ^^
Warnings | angst, smut, oral sex (m receiving), fluff, pregnancy, mentions of death
Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬
The Wilson’s boat rocked sturdily upon the water, swaying as the boats worked aboard. Your hand held the weight of a silver spanner, twirling it in your fist as though it were a knife, thinking of the long road ahead of you. Sam had the shield now, that was a good start, but still, there was a ways to go until the world recognised him as the captain that he was meant to be.
There was so much destruction ongoing in the world, what with the flag smashers, and whomever the power broker was, and surely, you knew on the shallow surface, that there would be masses more problems to arise. It was exhausting, to know that there was no end to the war on earth, and that you were surely going to be fighting the threats until you could no more.
Bucky felt the same; he had just gone from one war to another, losing everyone that he cared about along the way. Steve had given everything up to finally find peace, and yet, the two did not share the same opportunity. An escape was never laid at your feet, instead, the pair of you were trapped in the cycle of cruelty, being blended around in a shredder by reality.
“Hey.” A voice confiscated you from the lonesome containment of your thoughts; it was Sam’s hosting sister, Sarah. I’m her own way, though you doubted that she would never admit such a thing, she was a hero. She had become a widow, and not to mention she remained a stable mother to keep her boys afloat, as well as nurturing half the kids that lived within close proximity.
“Hi Sarah.” You put the tool down, giving her your ample attention as you stood, tugging your fingers into the loops of your jeans as you stepped out of the boat, and onto the dock. “Anything I can help with?” It hadn’t passed your attention that Sam and Bucky had disappeared, but not into ash like last time. Instead, they had walked off in the direction of the house, most likely meddling about with a ball, in the back yard with Jim and Jody.
“I just came to let you know I’ve made the sofa up for you and Bucky. Are you sure you’ll be all good, I could always kick Sam outta his bed and make him sleep on the living room floor?” The two of you had nightmares, if you were to be separated from him for even a night, it was certain that the pair of you would greatly suffer. That was something you didn’t want to burden any of the Wilson’s with, screaming in the middle of the night because flashes from your past struck an unconscious nerve.
“All good, and thank you Sarah. You didn’t have to let us stay here, we both appreciate it, a hell of a lot.” One thing that you had learnt throughout your years was to show gratitude. The smallest amount shared had the ability to spring up moods, and had even set you on a much more heroic path than the one that you had been originally been placed upon.
“You’ve earned your stay.” Sam’s sister shrugged with modesty, acknowledging the help that you and Bucky had not only given to Sam, but to her family’s legacy. The two of you had aided with fixing the old wreckage that had now returned to the form of a boat, keeping it afloat rather than permitting it to sink from the quarrels that Sam had with himself regarding fixing the damned yet meaningful port of transport.
“This life you have, it’s great. I get it’s not easy, but it’s beautiful. You have two wonderful kids, that you’ve done such a great job raising, and not to mention, these community that you have is so loving and kind, even to us outsiders.” The pair of you had paused outside of her front door, speaking. “Sam is lucky to have you, he truly is.”
“Well, maybe one day this life could be something similar to what you’ll have.” The sister of your friend smiled, though your mirroring expression retracted. In a stumble of thought, you shook your head, not believing that possibility. This all was... perfect. That was something that you had never had, nor would you think that you’d ever be permitted such a peaceful lifestyle.
“I don’t think that would work out.” You sincerely mumbled, feeling the sad swelling in your chest at the prospect of all the luxuries that life had denied both you and Bucky of. It wasn’t fair all the same, but the two of you were used to being denied human rights, let alone the simplicity of nothing more than a life together. “As nice as it sounds, me and Buck aren’t really cut out for all this I suppose.”
“The world does not choose who can and cannot have a family, there’s always a way. Just because you haven’t had the most ideal line of story does not at all mean that you can’t make it work, from as much as i know, you two deserve a life together, that doesn’t include being shot at, or shooting at other people. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go for it, and hope for the best.” She gave you a final nod, before heading inside, and you trailed after her into her her residency.
The two of you went your separate ways, and there, you saw Bucky, sat up on the sofa, his hands clasped together as his eyes stared towards the tan bag, that concealed not the shape, but the Stars and Stripes of the infamous shield. It was much a relief that it was no longer in Walker’s toxic clutch, however its presence, among other things, were taking a clear toll on your boyfriend.
“You ever feel like we’re stuck?” The air was tense around you both as he spoke solemnly, it diverting to match the mood of his question. “Like we’re us, and I love us, but it makes me think that it’s it. Just me and you, on this path for the rest of our lives, never getting a compensated break, nor an average person’s future. I want this, what these people here have, not the combat that is aided by this metal arm, or the associations that stick to us like life lines.”
“All the time, it’s on my mind James.” With a sigh, you came to sit beside him on the couch, resting your head against his bionic shoulder. “I ever wonder if there’s a timeline of you and me where there’s none of this ruckus, we just have a nice little house in a quiet and accepting place, and maybe a kid or two in the future.”
“I’d give anything up for that.” He looked at you, almost wide eyed, as his hand slithered down onto your knee cap, rubbing small circles as he wore a blunt and endearing smile upon his infatuating lips. “I mean that Buck, that sounds...”
“Perfect?” He asked, leaning closer as he grabs your chin with his wondrous fingers, his nose brushing alongside your own as his puckered lips fell upon yours, earning a small hun of content from within you. “Because you’re perfect to me, and no matter what life we are encased in, I want to share it with you. I want stare at the night sky and watch the moonlight illuminate the side of your face, and the stars reflect in your entrapping eyes, that I want to look into like a medium’s orbs forever, because that is how I will see the future that I ever so hope for.”
“How long have you been working on that one Barnes, because you are usually not that smooth?” A small laugh erupted from your mouth, but you were quickly silenced as you felt a cold metal hand slither up and beneath the back of your tank top, rubbing along the seam of your spine, as his lips ran down the column of your throat, evoking small and delicate whimpers out of you.
“Shut up doll, because I really want to fuck you now, and those words leaving your mouth are making it kinda hard to concentrate.” A furrow imbedded between his brows, as you tilted your head at him, a smirk proclaiming your expression as you pulled the material over your head, and reached behind yourself to unclip the back of your bra.
“Kinda hard to concentrate, hun?” You asked nonchalantly as his gaze zeroed in on your bare breasts, his hands smoothing along your ribcage as he adjusted his grip of you so that he was palming at your breasts, and squeezing the nipples. “I want you in me baby, I’ve practically gone days without you inside of me.” Licking your lips, you reached down to palm your beloved through his layers, earning a positive groan from the former assassin.
“Hours, you mean. I fingered you on the road trip here.” Yes, that was true, however, it was only his fingers, not even the metal ones, and whilst you loved what they alone could do, he had to be discreet as you were sat on the back of the truck, which had carried the primary parts for the Wilson’s family boat. If you were to scream out, they’d have surely thought that you’d fallen off the back of the truck and pull over, or if they had much sense, they’d have noticed that there was more going on than two passengers sat side by side on the journey to their small neighbourhood by the docks,
“You heard me Barnes, otherwise I’m sure Sam wouldn’t have any problem if I came to his room in this state of undress that I am currently portraying.” Growling was never Bucky’s fortes, however the sound aggressively ripped through the tunnel of his throat, as he threw off his grey top, quickly unfastening his belt, as he awaited for you to strip the rest of your clothing before him.
But rather than doing so, as he stood before you, your hand had trouble resisting the sight of his cock that had bobbed to attention, and thus, you wrapped it around his toned flesh, giving it a couple jerks that had his head reeling back, before you tongued his tip, moaning to yourself at the taste of him invading your sensitive taste buds. “Love your cock.”
As soon as you said that, Bucky gently gathered your head in a ponytail so that it was free from bombarding your face, and groaned as quiet as he could as you sucked him in your mouth, running your tongue up the side of his shaft. “Is that a part of your dream world baby doll, the sight of my cock throbbing to be inching down that perfect little throat of yours?”
To answer him, you pressed your head down deeper, humming around him as your eyes ogled up at the sight of your super soldier, who was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, and attuned to the sight of you. He held his bottom lip between his teeth, as you lightly gagged around him, pulling off him, and squeezing his balls, before running your hungry tongue along the middle of his sack.
“Always. It would be a dream if you made love to me right here and now though, I’m not sure I can wait any longer James.” Bucky took a long inhale, before ravishingly pulling down your jeans and panties in one go, and tossing you so that he was below your form, and you hovered over him, toying with his erect cock. “I love you so much Bucky, and I’m scared of what’s to come. I have a feeling that there’s gonna be a fight.”
“There’s always a fight doll face.” He rubbed his thumb soothingly across your jaw, pulling your hips down closer so that you were rubbing your slick folds against his standing cock. “But this is what we’re fighting for, the rest of our lives together. I’d be damned, one day after this, and if I were to die, I’d be a happy man. There’d be the memory of you to keep me forever happy in the afterlife, and not to mention, there’d be no more wars for me to participate in.”
“I’m not going to let you die Buck, even hypothetically. We saw how your little hypothetical synopsis went last time.” Tapping his cock against your clit, a breathy sound evicted from your lips, as you stared down at the two of you intimately touching, the sight alone making you more turned on and impatient. “No one is allowed to kill you, otherwise I’ll unleash hell on all their flag smashing asses.”
Giving him one last stroke, you guided his tip towards your entrance, removing your hand once you had him situated, so that you could rest it upon his sturdy shoulder, and sink down on him, the feeling of him stretching you being the most euphoric sensation that you had ever endured. Hushed moans ceased from the both of you, as Bucky’s hands gripped your ass cheeks, only adding to all of the pleasure that was erupting within you.
“Think your pussy is gonna kill me before anyone else does; your so tight.” His pitch had rose, as your fingertips danced along the left side of his handsome face, invisibly connecting the dots of his beauty marks. You allowed the pair of you to adjust for a simple moment, before you began to raise your hips, sliding up his super soldier rod, only to slide down it again.
The actions were repeated, as your own hands trailed down his warm skin, to drag down the golden lines of his vibranium arm, only to bring the weapon to your mouth, and kiss every black finger up, as you tried your best to muffle the moans that were hoping to reap free. “So fucking big, I love you and your cock.” You muttered, your sight turning blurry as Bucky realised that it was his turn to do the work, and thus, he thrusted up into you, making echoing sounds of your skin slapping together reverberate around the room.
“Love you more.” He gritted his teeth, pulling his metallic hand away from your numb lips, so that he could swirl the elegant digits around your clit, the action provoking whimpers to rapidly surpass your exterior, as you bit harshly onto your own lip, and screwed your eyes shut. “Cum for me doll, want you to cover my hard cock in everything you have. Come on baby, you can do it.”
Without much thought, as your mind was too scrambled to do so, you reached for Bucky’s spare hand, pulling it to your mouth as you sucked on his fingers as though you were blowing him. A low moan that was dialled down from the presence of his flesh digits, ran from your mouth, as you began to bounce your hips, chasing and eventually reaching your high. You came around him, pushing him too over the edge, his seed filling your walls, as you collapsed atop of him, huffing from exhaustion as you removed his salivated hand from the realms of your mouth, resting your head against his panting chest.
Stringed sighs fell from Bucky’s breath as he tried to catch his own breath. His hands rubbed your back, not only to comfort you, but also to subconsciously pull you closer against him, and his softening cock that was still inside you, and was keeping his cum plugged within your tender and pulsating walls. If life was easier, there’d be more time for this, and that, but for now, it was just every now and then. Maybe you’d win this fight and survive until the next one, but maybe, you’d lose and never battle again.
Life was precious, that was something that you had not only learned as an avenger, but also something that had been told to you by Isiah. That man thought that you deserved a normal life, no fighting, no super soldiers. He himself was the biggest yet silent critic of those with additional strength, but his opinion was never going to sway you, not as you stared out into Sarah’s backyard, and watched the man that you loved play with the boys.
They had the shield, and were whisking it through the air like a frisbee; dangerous, yes, but again, life could only amount to so much without an ounce of pain. A content and satisfied smile absorbed any pain on your face, you were enraptured with the sight of Bucky like this, he was like an uncle to these two kids. He was no captain America, that was for sure, but you didn’t want a man in Stars and Stripes, all you wanted was him to be at peace, and it was a fact unbeknownst to him, that you had made such an alternative to that.
“Still want all this?” Sarah emerged, a cheap yet formidable bottle of wine pursed in her hand, as she held two clear and tall glasses in her hand. You hummed, watching as she poured the thin red consistency into one glass, but as she went to fill the other, you held out your hand, shaking your head. The woman was confused, last time you had visited, and were entangled on her sofa with the limbs of your boyfriend and a shaggy old blanket, you had kindly accepted her offer.
“Sure do.” You sighed, staring out into the green abyss where Jim was hanging from Bucky’s arm like it were a branch. “How do you do this, this whole mother thing? I’ve never been able to wrap my head around how you make it look so easy, it’s just, you do such a good job.” Your palms rested flat on your thighs as you laughed at Sam ordering Jody to jump on Bucky’s back, as he fell down in faux defeat.
“It never is easy y/n.” She placed the open bottle down, along with the mismatched glasses, that were asymmetrical considering one was half filled and the other wallowed in emptiness. “But every step of difficulty is worth it. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss their father, but they’re my priority. For Jim and Jody, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, and you’d understand that if you ever opened yourself up to giving your life of heroism up to have all this.”
“I might have to.” Twiddling with your fingers, glancing up at your boyfriend, realising that he was in fact not looking over, you clasped your intwined hands over your stomach, smiling softly to yourself. “And maybe not having another option is the best option for me and Buck, because we don’t have to fight with ourselves over being included in our duties, we have new ones.”
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sarah asked, resting her nurturing hand upon the tile of your shoulder, prompting you to turn your face towards her. There was a conflict in your eyes, it was something that she recognised her younger self having once worn. It was the idea of putting everything aside, all for a child, everything that she had ever known, so that she could put her baby boy first. “Does Bucky know?”
“He will.” You shifted your head down, unsure of yourself. This had been what you had wanted, and whilst you still envied Sarah for the role she had, you were hurt. A part of you wanted to be an avenger until you were nothing but a soul drifting in the abyss of non existence, another didn’t want to let the knowledge of being a carrier for a new future crumble you. “I just need a moment to tell him.”
“I’ve got it.” She sent you a wink, picking up the items she had brought out, before she called on Sam and the kids to come inside. Sarah had gifted you the opportunity of revealing the truth to your partner with no one else around; you appreciated that. As he stalked closer, you met him halfway, sinking into his arms as he hugged you.
“Looked like you were having fun with the boys.” You verbally noted, loving the feeling of him running his fingers through your hair. “You’re amazing Bucky Barnes, to me and to everyone. I just, don’t want you to freak out on me, I have something big, really big, to tell you, and-“
“Baby, I know.” He smiled, pulling back so that he could look you in the face. “I have super human senses, I heard their little heart beat for the first time yesterday. We’re having a baby, and I couldn’t be happier about it. In fact, I want to ask you if you’ll accept my question of making Sam the godfather.” You nodded, tears standing in your eyes, as you brought the man down for a kiss.
“Yes. But I’m not sure that he’ll be praising us for making a baby when we technically created him or her on the couch inside.” Bucky shook his head at you, kissing your forehead before walking inside with you, preparing to tell the Wilson family, that had along the way became your own, the good news- well, not the sofa bit.
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belong - chan x f reader
fluff, smut, 2.8k
when your lover called on you, the bells in your heart rung. chan invited you to his home for an evening spent together in the sweet peace of the one another’s company. upon your arrival, he greeted you with pure admiration in his eyes, a youthful wonderment sweeping over him as he gazed upon your person, pulling you into his embrace where you belong.
he took your hand, dusting his lips across your knuckles as he whispered, “i missed you, love.”
“and i you.” it’s not often you admit that time spent away from chan adds painfully to your longing, this much is evidenced by his wide eyed surprise. “i have spent every second counting down until we would meet again.”
“oh?” he gasps, believing not a word. “maybe hypnos might finally stop by now that you have come.”
“maybe breath will finally enter my lungs! and food settle in my stomach!”
“my love, if we are of such detriment to ourselves when apart,” he mumbles against your lips as he captures them sweetly. “then perhaps we mustn’t part again.”
“not ever?”
“not ever,” and so, with your indefinite union confirmed, chan ushers you into his home. you quickly note the sheet music that customarily garnishes every corner of the black oak table is now stacked neatly to the side. in their place are gold lined porcelain dinner plates, and sat atop them are a meal you know your lover did not prepare. “i know what you are readying yourself to say, so i feel i must confess something.”
“please do.”
“the lees did assist me with the preparation of this meal,” he lies as you turn to him. “you do not believe me? my love, i take great offence.”
“one can only find offence in the truth, chan.”
“fine,” he sighs, kindly untucking your seat. “the lees prepared the meal.” his confession is rewarded with the softest kiss to his dimpled cheek, deepening the indent greatly. “but i did prepare the table!”
“and had you not, the meal would not look half as inviting,” your praise, though clearly meant in jest, still colours the tips of his ears.
“lest you plan for my head to swell to twice its size, i suggest you stop.”
you press your hand to his cheek, the soft skin warming your palm as you turn his face towards you. “surely that is just more of you to love, is it not?”
“goodness. u are like a god sent spring during drought! love just pours from you. surely i am not this worthy,” he ponders aloud. he rests his forehead on yours, settling his eyes on your lips, he trains his pounding heart to beat in time with your breathless chortles. “what did I do to deserve you?”
as you shrug, you lean up, capturing his lips with yours, offering up the most delicate of pecks. the motion is dizzying, and the pace moreso. his fingers grip your side almost painfully, his wandering thumb finding the skin of your hip, drawing the tiniest circles. your tongue finally slips between his teeth before he pulls away. “the lees would not be happy to learn how we have treated their meal.”
“that you plated,” you remind, squeezing his arms in want. “and a plated meal can be reheated. hell, a plated meal can be unplated!”
“is this a want or a need?” chan suddenly asks, watching your teeth catch your lip. raising his thumb once dragging along the band of your knickers, he tugs at the trapped lip, freeing it from restraint. “i asked you a question.”
“it’s a want,” you admit shamefully, your hunger amplified with another whiff of the cooling dinner.
“a want can wait.” without another word, chan releases you, waiting patiently so he can tuck your seat in. once you are seated, he tucks himself in at the table’s head, reaching for your hand to his right. “go ahead, angel.”
you can only nod as you reach for your polished fork before scooping up the braised pork and buttered mash. he grins as you moan, the sound oddly innocent as you slowly begin to regain your appetite. he frees your hand as you reach for your knife, settling it instead on your knee, squeezing before he attacks his meal. as you make your own ways through dinner, you settle into a comfortable silence, both happily welcoming any intermittent interruptions. he speaks in part of his long work week spent apart from you, you speak in part of the gruelling work week spent apart from him. you both speak of family, sharing thoughtless yet meaningful tidings. you speak of friends, of gossip and news as he updates you on the lees’ plans to finally go into business together.
“how does hyunjin feel about it? he, minho and felix, were they not in talks about a dance company?” you speak with your lips perched on the rim of your glass, never forgetting a detail chan offers up. and though this at times works to his detriment, he cannot help but smile as he nods, gleeful at your continued interest in his companions.
“hyunjin wishes them well. of course he sulked for days, but he sees their passion and respects their wishes.” chan watches as you nod, acquainted well enough with the man to understand. “but he expects shares.”
“as he should!’ you punctuate your point with a final stab at your dinner, chewing the cooling carrot far too aggressively for how well it had been prepared.
“must everyone be compensated for broken promises?” he asks, reaching for your cleared dinner plate. “that hardly seems just.”
“is that not the very underpinnings of law?”
“so that makes it just?” he asks, returning to his seat with wine before pulling you onto his lap.
“well,” you start, grabbing your glass and straddling your lover. “it depends who is profiting.”
“consider this,” placing his wine down, he rests his open hands on your thighs, “when i make you mrs. bang—”
“when?”
“yes, when,” he emphasises with a sweet kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder, trailing his nose up the column of your neck. “should you change your mind, must i hold you accountable?”
“i would never change my mind,” you state, rendering his analogy futile. “being mrs. bang would be the honour of a lifetime.”
“you are insufferable,” he breathes, his warming forehead pressed to your shoulder. “for the sake of my analogy, say that were not the case. say being mrs bang was unliveable, the biggest regret of one’s life. should you be accountable for leaving?”
“annulment is a fickle thing, chan. there are so many other factors involved.” you predict the question on his tongue, so you proceed to list them. “wealth, health, kin, religion, intimacy—”
“we won’t have that problem.”
“we won’t have any of those problems,” you correct. “will we, mr bang?”
“no,’ he agrees, pulling your frame further up his lap, “none.” there’s a pause where he regards you with an insurmountable confusion, as if regarding you for the first time again. “you never did tell me what I did to deserve you?”
“it isn’t for me to tell,” and therein lies his issue, his desperation to remedy his thanklessness, to express his unyielding gratitude for the blessing that is his lover. if he knew what he did, then he might know what to keep doing. “just enjoy me.”
“i intend to do just that,” he breathes against your skin, lips dragging along the bone of your jaw.
it is impossible not to squirm. his touch is at the best of times manageable, yet at the worst, insufferable. his fingernails press moons into your neck and thigh, firming his grip on your nape and dragging your hips down onto his crotch. the friction is hot and reeling, the slide of his cock along your clothed folds, slowly milking him whilst displaying his restraint. you detest his chosen pace, it is all the things you simultaneously love and loathe about your partner. his mature approach to love making and his need to drag out every moment beyond what is absolutely necessary. you begin setting your own pace, digging your heels into the ground as you roll against his length. the pleasure is short lived.
“it would serve you well to hold still,” he pours into your mouth, the beginnings of a smirk tainting even the purest parts of his face. he makes it increasingly difficult to follow his generous warning, as he frees your neck and grabs the table for leverage, dragging his groin against you, readily instigating your demise. “i can be fair, y/n. just tell me what it is you desire?”
“you, chan.”
“but you have all of me,” he reminds, guiding your hand to the warm space between you, tightening your grip around his heavy length. “all of me is yours, so speak plainly.”
“i want you to—“ he lets a single digit pass between your clothed folds, soaking the fabric and the pad of his finger. your eyes slowly follow his movements, the lone finger sucked into the warmth of his mouth. “chan, please.”
“how can you beg for that which you have not asked?”
“fuck me.” he reels at your embarrassment, the warmth on your cheeks warming his neck as you burrow out of view. “please,” your breathy plea fills the shell of his ear as you drag yourself along his lap. “is that not the reason you asked me here?”
his laughter fills the air as he kicks out his chair, your combined weight tugging at the carpet. “not entirely,” he admits candidly, lifting you both in a swift motion. “i do enjoy time spent in your company.”
“well, of course,” you agree, clinging to him as he moves through his home, covering more ground with every kiss he offers to your neck. “but my company can allow for a multitude of activities.”
“a multitude you say?” he places you gently atop his sheets, your weight forcing a sensual warm oak to waft through the room. his hands settle firmly by your head, his elbows collapsing to barely rest his weight on you, eliminating any and all space. his gleaming eyes bore into your own, the tip of his nose gliding along the bridge of your own. “you mightn’t believe it, but I am a simple man. i am happy to settle for one.”
“and which one might that be?”
his head lolls dumbly from left to right, allowing but a second to pass before he gives you his answer. rows of pearl capture his lip as he lowers himself, slow sensual grinds of his hips reveal his thoughts like no words could. his hooded eyes drink the creases in your face, the waves of pleasure coursing through you as he passes between your folds. the air thickens tenfold, your pants fanning his lips as you succumb to the movements of your lover.
“chan—“ your whine draws a devious grin on his face. you feel his palm rest on your cheek, his thumb running along your jaw down to your chin where he tugs, no words nor force required to tell you what he wants.
“may i?” he breathes into your mouth, tongue rolling in his own, collecting what you unknowingly crave. you nod once, leaning up to meet his lips as he leans back. the saliva gathered on his tongue slowly passes from between his lips into your open mouth. his eyes follow the string that connects you both as you swallow, your breath faltering as his eyes drag up to gaze at you. the hunger you’re met with would force your knees together, only his own keep them apart. “i’m going to give you what you want now,” he promises, fingers tugging at your panties. “and I know you can take it,” he affirms as he slides a finger in you, grinning as you whine. “i just need to make sure.”
he pumps his finger slowly, dragging the pad languidly against your walls, his thumb circling your clit. be laughs at the tremble in your thighs, how little restraint you have always exhibited. it has always been this way. your neediness bursting through the seams, rendering his own restraint powerless. especially as your fingers toy with his waistband, fist closing around his leaking tip. your palm rolls against his slit, the heel gathering his precum as you slide against his tip. he struggles with his weight over you, his forehead pressed to your own as he winds his length between your closed fist. his lips suck on your tongue, teeth clashing, when he feels a familiar ripple of heat pass through his veins.
“baby,” he huffs, stills his hips and his fingers. “is this what you want?”
“no,” you whine, humping against his hand and pumping him all the same. “but it is you i want,” you pant, chasing a high you know your lover will never give you. “it’s you i need.”
at that he pulls your hand from him, ready to fulfil his duty as your love, to give you all the things you want and need. he shows no haste removing his clothes, buckle hitting the floor, trousers and undergarments gently kicked down his legs. he takes a modicum of time on you however. his hands glide down your sides as he frees you of your sticky underwear, hiking up your skirt as he pumps his cock. lining himself up with your slit, he gazes down at you, his doting expression in stark contrast with his bare form.
“i love you, angel,” he breathes, eyes shining as he pecks at your cheek, nose, lips.
“and i you,” you breathe in kind, choking up as he sheathes himself within your walls. he sighs as you take him, your hot folds sucking him in as he slips his tongue between your lips, swallowing your whimpers. as he bottoms out he pulls away, watching your eyes gleam in want before he snaps his hips, denouncing all fatigue. “oh, chan—”
he grunts as his name falls off your tongue, your mind and body at a loss for thoughts besides those of your lover. as he pounds into you, his tip hitting your g-spot perfectly, forcing your mouth open. unintelligible moans fill the air, though he hears you calling out for him. for the most part, he hears your lustful grumbles of inexplicable pleasure. he needn’t decipher them, nor does he try. he just basks in them, his groans falling into your open mouth, the odd praise passing between your lips as does his tongue, his spit, his praise, his tongue, his spit. he uses you, as you so wish. he fucks harder into you as you fall further into delirium, pleasure rippling through you with every snap of his hips. he watches you gasp for air, gulping around his saliva, watery eyes pleading for him.
“tell me what you want.”
“i want to cum,” you whine, clinging to his tired arms as he deepens his thrusts, rolling his length into you in short, sharp motions. “please, channie.”
he feels you clench around him, his movements growing slow with each passing second. there are moments when he slips, his fist guiding himself back to you, his fingers pressed to your stomach, thumb circling your clit. he feels you teeter to the edge. your pussy closing tighter as he gathers your release, sliding his thumb harshly over your clit, fucking even faster into you as you pass into ecstacsy. his teeth clench at the base of your throat, the combined stimulation drawing your orgasm from you. all that fills the air is your gargles, his name falling off your tongue in a chant, coated in gratitude and adoration. in love. chan follows you to euphoria. his hips stutter as you milk him. His arms weakened, he rests his forehead on your temple, chasing a high only you can conjure. one that draws out grunts of gratitude, of adoration. of love.
moments pass in sticky silence. pants filling the air as the afterglow sets in, the air stagnant as the pungent smell of sex fills the room. he welcomes the short seconds of peace, but he must break it.
“move in with me.” his motives on evenings like this were never too clear, not even to himself. but chan had not lied. every moment in your presence makes your absence all the more unthinkable. sleep comes easy when you are near. he dreams sweetly when you are here. he leans over to remove your blouse, freeing you from the damp material. as he does, he gazes into your eyes, speaking softly of all the nights you could spend doing just this. all the nights you have wasted not doing this. all the ways you could spend the nights in between. all the mornings he could spend with you and you with him. “you belong with me,” he breathes, lips pressed to your knuckles as his fingers trail up and down your arms. he stills, realising he might lull you into slumber, if his words had not already done so when you speak.
“how could i not know?” you ask, splitting his pretty face with a grin. “i belong with you.”
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Asahi accidentally tells you his feelings in front of the entire team (Part 2)
Continued from Part 1! I would suggest reading it first before proceeding!
Asahi accidently blurted out the L-word as Y/N was rushing out of the club room. He does not know if Y/N heard him. But the entire Karasuno VBC did. Is the gentle giant going to get through this without crying dying making a mess?
Asahi x gn! reader || Sfw
Genre: Comedy and fluff at the end
Word Count: 1.5k+
The entire Karasuno team is looking at Asahi in stunned silence. They all heard him say he loves you.
However (fortunately or unfortunately for him), you did not really hear what he said. The entire club’s eyes are glued to the club room’s open windows as they watch you sprint away, eager to make it in time for your movie.
Asahi’s eyes are open wide and he keeps opening and closing his mouth but no words are coming out, he is simply gaping like a fish and making incomprehensible noises. His face is so red and hot that one could make their entire breakfast on it.
Asahi: I-I-I d-didn’t m-mean t-t-to s- NOYA?! TANAKA?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!?!
Noya: *in between sobs* Asahi-san, you have grown up so fast!
Tanaka: *loud noises that seem to indicate agreement with Noya* *violent sobbing*
Suga intervened: Oi, you two, stop it! Your cries might catch Y/N’s attention.
Meanwhile, Hinata has run over and climbed on to the club room’s window and is now shouting live updates of your whereabouts.
“Uwaaaah Asahi-san, I do not think Y/N-san heard you. I can see them running towards the gates.”
Kageyama kicks Hinata, “BOKE, don’t shout their name from the open window, they might hear you, you BOKE!”
“BAKA, Kageyama, you don’t have to kick me, I am only trying to help!”
At this point, Tanaka and Noya are rolling on the floor and crying violently, Kageyama and Hinata are trying to kill each other while Suga and Daichi try to separate them. Asahi is staring at the floor, wishing for a hole to open up and swallow him. The rest of the team is just standing around in silence, trying to absorb the mess that has happened in the last 30 seconds.
So, you know, a usual day at the Karasuno Volleyball Club.
This is what is going on in Asahi’s mind right now:
“It’s certainly a relief that Y/N did not hear me. Or did they?!?!? and they just pretended to ignore me so they wouldn’t have to answer?!?!?! After all, it has only been 4 months, I do not expect them to love me so soon. What if this scares them off?? If they really did not hear me, that would have been great if the entire team hadn’t heard me say it. And knowing these people, I am sure Y/N will know about this before tomorrow. WHAT IF THEY HEARD ME AND THEY FREAKED OUT AND RAN OFF AND WILL NEVER COME BACK? -” and on and on it went.
"Uh-Oh”
Suga’s words snap Asahi out of his overthinking trance (good timing, I should say, because at this point he is seriously considering shifting to India and becoming a monk). He looks up to see Suga looking out the window. He pales.
//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What have you been doing since you ran out?
“Shit, I’m going to be late if I walk there. I will have to run if I want to make it in time. The theatre is not that far, though, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
These are the thoughts going through your head as you sprint away from the club room. As you are running, your mind wanders back to Asahi (as it usually does). You have a tendency to replay every moment with him in your mind and you are thinking back to the conversation that had just taken place. Asahi had looked so cute when you were handing him his hairband. You couldn’t wait to see him tonight and you had told him that as you had run out of the room. And it seems so had he-
And then it registers.
Wait-
//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very loud -WHAT?! resounded through the room. It was your voice. And even though it came from the outside, it felt like the entire room shuddered. The sound sent chills through Asahi’s spine and he started quaking in his shoes.
Suga: Uh Asahi, you have probably already realized this but Y/N seems to be running back in this directio-
The club room’s door slams open with such force that it makes everyone jump. You stand at the doorway, panting loudly, with the most incredulous expression on your face.
Asahi is dead now. I am sorry to say but his soul has left his body and it will not be returning. Let’s all come together to pray for his peaceful departure.
You look at Asahi. His face has drained entirely of its colour and he looks ready to pass out. You can almost see steam coming out of his ears as he stares at you in absolute horror.
“D-did you j-just say you love me?” you manage to gasp out your question as you try to steady your breathing.
Asahi is dead, Y/N, dead people do not speak.
He is shaking as you walk towards him. The expressions on his and teammates’ faces have already answered your question.
Even though Asahi is terrified out of his mind, he is trying to read your expression. How he chooses to answer right now is probably going to make or break your relationship.
In between all the confusion on your face, he sees a hint of something else in your eyes: Hope.
You stop in front of him. You ask him the same question again, but much more calmly this time now that your breathing has somewhat normalized.
As he continues to try to read your expression, he realizes you are not mad at him. Instead, there is a slight earnestness in you. He calms down a bit.
“Y-yes.” he says, barely meeting your eyes.
“Do you really mean it? Or was it just a slip of your tongue?” you ask, hopeful, but also bracing yourself for the worst. What’s worse is that this is all happening in front of PEOPLE and all of their eyes are on you both. This is bound to make Asahi want to nope out of here. But the damage is already done and all you can do right now is wait for him to answer.
“I- I mean it (your heart soars for a second) but- (aaaand there it comes crashing back down).”
Asahi’s eyes are back to looking at the floor now and his fists are clenched.
“but this...this is not how I wanted to tell you. I wanted to make it special for you. But I fucked this up too.”
You did not know what you were expecting him to say but this was certainly not it. Your eyes widen in surprise.
“And I- I understand if you do not feel the same way. Or if you want to b-break up with m-me.”
His voice cracks at the last sentence and even though he’s looking down, it’s not hard to figure out that he is holding back tears.
“Special for me?” you say as you close the distance between you and him. You use your hands to cup his face and tilt his head up so that he is looking at you. His eyes are full of tears that threaten to fall at any second.
“The only thing I need for it to be special for me is YOU. I do not care about where you said it, or how you said it. I just care that you said it. That’s the most special thing you could have done for me. You are the only thing I want and need. Everything else is just secondary.”
You wipe away a tear that has fallen from his eyes.
“However, to make things even: I, L/N Y/N, standing here at Karasuno High School, in the Volleyball Club Room, surrounded by the weirdest audience ever, (why are Tanaka and Noya hugging and crying?? Why does Hinata seem to be in the middle of pantsing Kageyama??), would like to tell you, Azumane Asahi, that I love you too.” You kiss Asahi on his forehead, rubbing comforting circles on his back and give him a big smile. “Was that special enough for you?”
“Yes!” he exclaims, as he throws his arms around you and pulls you in for a short but passionate kiss (something he has never done in public before). His tears are now freely falling but he smiles the biggest smile at you and everything he wants to say to you, all the love and gratitude he has for you, you can see in his eyes. “I love you” he whispers as he loosens his hold on you.
“I love you too. Can’t wait to see you tonight.”
You are horribly late for your movie but you don’t care anymore. However, you do know it is important for your boyfriend (WHO LOVES YOU BACK!!) to focus on volleyball. So, you use the movie to excuse yourself and you finally walk out of the room, with the biggest smile on your face. You cannot help but laugh as his teammates almost blow the roof off the place with all their yelling and cheering for him as soon as you leave.
Suffice it to say that even though you did “see” the movie, you still have no idea what it was about.
FIN
HOPE YOU ENJOYED
Oh my god I finished it.
This was so enjoyable to write for me I cannot. I don’t think it was too bad for a first attempt??? I’m???
Please do not repost without permission.
Likes, reblogs, follows, comments are much appreciated.
Pls lmk if you would like more content like this.
Buy me a Kofi! <3
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msby boys finding out their s/o is pregnant
navi | masterlist | taglist
thank you to anon for this wholesome request
content warning ♡ pregnant! reader, sexual references, swearing & fluff
characters ♡ sakusa, atsumu, bokuto & hinata
kiyoomi sakusa
♡ he faltered
♡ there was half a minute of silence between the two of you; him just staring at your stomach while you gazed into his eyes
♡ he was almost certain that he misheard you, so he felt inclined to inquire, ‘huh?’ as indifferently as he could, though he wasn’t doing a good job of concealing the shocked expression on his face
♡ ‘i said i’m pregnant, sweetie.’ you giggled, admiring the emotions he displayed on his face as it wasn’t a sight you got to see often
♡ sakusa continued to stare at you, eyes wide
♡ though he knew what you meant, apart of him insisted that he was mishearing you
♡ his wide-eyes were fixated on you, his lips slightly agape as he tried to process what you just said and what this meant for the both of you
♡ the only emotion you could read of his face was shock. at first, you were sure that he was happy but he was just taking a while to accept it, but now that a few minutes had passed and he was still yet to say anything or even smile, you were starting to second guess yourself
♡ despite the fact sakusa had already agreed that he was on board with the idea of having a child many times before - in fact, there were nights where he’d admit that he can’t wait to start a family with you - but you still worried that perhaps he has now that had a change of heart
♡ that was until you noticed his eyes become unusually glossy and red, along with his cheeks adapting a somewhat red tint, ‘if this is a joke, (y/n), it’s not funny.’ his ordinary, monotone voice was now slightly shaky and low
♡ ‘it’s not a joke, ‘iyoomi.’ you laughed, feeling your own throat go dry and your cheek flare up upon seeing how emotional sakusa had become
♡ before the tears spilled from your eyes, you felt sakusa’s arms slowly snake around your waist, place an elongated kiss on your forehead then rest his chin on your shoulder
♡ he held you close enough that you could feel his rapid heartbeat thud against your chest and his wobbly breath tickle the back of your neck
♡ he stayed like that, silent, for a good few minutes
♡ when he finally pulled away to admire your stomach, you noticed how his damp cheeks glistened in the light and you couldn’t help but smile
♡ although he wasn’t very vocal about how happy he was, his actions spoke a thousand words
♡ he’d insist in home-cooking all your food now because he didn’t want to risk you getting food poisoning
♡ when he’d come home from practise, absolutely exhausted, the first thing he’d do when he gets home is wash his hands then cut you some fruit
♡ when he has free-time, he used to just watch TV but now he’s picked up a few hobbies of reading childcare books, tending to your every need/want and researching good baby names
♡ also, he’s so gentle with you - like, he was gentle with you before but this is a new extreme
♡ excluding the time he almost tackled you to the ground when you suggested atsumu as a baby name
♡ like he baby-proofs the house like a month into your pregnancy lmao
kōtarō bokuto
♡ the corners of his lips slowly curl into a bright smile, ‘pregnant?’
♡ you cocked your head to the side slightly, then hummed, ‘yeah. pregnant.’
♡ ‘like..with a kid?’
♡ you snorted, playfully rolling your eyes, ‘i’d hope so.’
♡ ‘like..with my kid?’
♡ ‘our kid - but yes.’
♡ a while passed and he had yet to do anything besides stare at you in pure adoration so you prompted him by opening your arms
♡ to which he immediately responded by throwing himself onto you, ‘I’m gonna be a dad?! like seriously?!’
♡ luckily you were sitting on your bed so you fell back onto that but you were still being smothered by his chest
♡ ‘bo!’ you squealed and squirmed under his weight and tight grip, glad that he was as cheery as you had hoped but not appreciating being suffocated
♡ he suddenly pulled away but kept his large hands glued to your shoulders, revealing the tears that were already streaming down his cheeks and dampened your shirt, ‘really?!’
♡ ‘yes, bokuto. i am 100% pregnant.’ you declared for the final time before bokuto cupped your face with his hands and pulled you in to a passionate kiss, not stopping until your lips were basically swollen
♡ he’s just so hyped during the first few days of your pregnancy and he’s just super duper ready to become a dad!
♡ like he’s already practising his dad jokes
♡ but then you remind him that he’s gonna have to wait around 9 months before he can actually see his baby and his hair literally deflates
♡ ugh how rude of you
♡ can you not like...make it grow faster?? please??
♡ once you explain to him that’s not how babies work, he kinda accepts it and just focuses his attention on you
♡ he kinda does some research on babies/pregnancy but not prior, he just does a quick google search when he needs to
♡ but the intention is definitely there bc he googles the most trivial of things like ‘what to make pregnegant ppl for breakfast?’
♡ ‘what do pragnant ppl need from the supermarket?’
♡ ‘can my pregenunt wife have peanut butter?’
♡ ‘how to spell preaignant’
atsumu miya
♡ DEEP denial
♡ he thinks you are playing a prank on him bc you don’t ‘look pregnant’
♡ even when you show him your positive pregnancy test he’s like ‘and how much did that cost?’
♡ he deadass acts as if he wasn’t the one who’s been trying to get you pregnant and raving on about how much he wants a family with you for the last few months
♡ but he just doesn’t want to believe you bc he know he’ll get way too happy for his own good and he’s afraid to be let down
♡ plus, it was one of those ‘a blessing of this magnitude couldn’t have happened to me - of all people - so this is probably either a cruel joke or a hallucination.’ moments
♡ he’s just so far gone that after your eleventh attempt at trying to convince him that you’re pregnant for real, you just give up
♡ so y’all just go around your business somewhat normally - except atsumu was more skittery - until your baby bump started to become more prominent
♡ one day, he came back from practise, noticed your bump and pulled you into the most passionate, heartfelt kiss before placing a gentle kiss upon your stomach, a buoyant grin gracing his features
♡ though he doesn’t say much since he is at a loss for words, he mutters a few sweet nothings into your ear as he carries you to the bedroom
♡ for a joke, he pretends to be gutted if you’re libido production decrease but really, he couldn’t care less
♡ but if it increases tho-
♡ expect him to take full advantage of that
♡ also, if he didn’t already treat you like his goddess, he does now
♡ work has moved down his list of priorities and you + his baby are now at number one
♡ usually he keeps his phone on silent/stuffs it into his bag while he is practising but now he insists on keeping it on full volume, out on the bench, just in case you call him for an emergency
♡ same goes for texts; he will literally stop mid-set to rush over to his phone if he hears it vibrate
♡ bokuto thinks it’s sweet but the rest of them get pretty annoyed of his antics quite quickly but whenever they try to call him out on it, he’s like ‘is your wife 6 months pregnant? no! i didn’t think so. i should be on paternity leave right now so be glad i’m blessing you with my presence.’
shōyō hinata
♡ he cannot stop thanking you
♡ as if you’re doing him a favour, which - depending on how you view it - you are
♡ he’s literally on his knees with his hands clasped together, tears of joy streaming down his face as he looks up at you in pure adoration, ‘thank you, (y/n)!’
♡ you tilted your head to the side and stared at him with a perplexed expression, ‘you’re welcome?’
♡ it’s a while before he moves from that position but when he does, it’s only so he can press his ear against your stomach to see if he can hear the baby
♡ ‘shō, i don’t think it’s body has even formed ye--’
♡ ‘shh! it’s speaking to me.’ he chuckled then proceeded to squeeze his eyes shut, intensely listening to whatever the baby had to say
♡ you quirked a brow, waiting for him to finish and once he did, he sprung to his feet and threw his arms over your shoulders to pull you in for a hug - in which he had to stop himself from squeezing you too tightly in fear of hurting you, as if pregnancy meant that your bones were now made of glass
♡ he’s just so happy that you agreed to bear his children 🙏
♡ also, seeing how excited you were to tell him about your pregnancy really prompted him to step up his husband-game
♡ from now on, he loads the dishwasher, does both of your laundry, cleans the house on his own and cooks most of the food
♡ he acts as if being pregnant means you are no longer able to do basic tasks but his real motive behind doing these things was not only to take the pressure off of you but to also prepare himself for father life 👍
♡ also, to prepare him for shopping for his kids’ clothes, he goes out and buys you maternity wear
♡ he does this like...3 weeks into your pregnancy though so the clothes just sit and catch dust until a few months later when you actually need them
♡ and although he is a bit of a pain to go stroller/pram shopping with (he just says buy whichever one goes the fastest), you let him take the reins when it came to buying/preparing the baby’s room and it came out beautiful!
♡ like the cradle was good quality and firm, the rug wouldn’t irritate the baby’s skin, the walls were painted expertly and the plushies/toys he picked out - unbeknownst to you at the time - kept the baby entertained for ages
♡ oh and no matter what day/week/month you are in of pregnancy, he will always look at you and your bump with the same amazement and gratitude as he did the first time you told him
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Random Relationship Headcanons | Felix Escellun x gn!reader
a/n: Hey ! On todays menu I am serving you modern au relationship headcanons. I know for a fact that I can’t write headcanons AT ALL yet here we are, out of spite I will keep trying until I can manage to write good shit. I’m going through a chaotic time in my life so please be patient with me 😭
I’m currently working on tattoo artist! reader x Felix headcanons and college!enemies to lovers one-shot. Knowing that Felix’s fav trope is enemies to lovers, I will post it hopefully before his new chapter drops. I used most of the hcs that were sent to me but if you couldn’t see yours, then it will probably be used on the other works.
No beta we die like men.
warnings: curse words, nsfw under the cut, random sage moments, felix being a ‘the neighborhood’ song basically.
You persuade him to start an Instagram account, and because of his family's popularity, he quickly gains followers. His account is practically empty because he would rather spend his time stalking your account on Instagram. You noticed the emptiness and wanted to take him out and take some photos for his account, which turned out amazingly. He is a little camera shy, so be patient with him.
You like to watch him apply his eyeliner but he finds it so stressing to do under your gaze. He used to be able to do it easily, but it has now become one of his most difficult tasks. You wanted to ask for his assistance in applying eyeliner to you in the hopes of making it simpler for him; he agreed but quickly regretted it when he realized how near your faces would be. You with your eyes closed, waiting for him to drag the line as he was only thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss you. 
Felix has a Polaroid of you and stella in his wallet I said what I said.
When it comes to himself, he can be a pessimist, but when it comes to you, he is the most loving and positive boyfriend you could ever ask for. You have a dream ? He is ready to help you achieve it. Do you want to change in your life ? Go for it, He’s more excited than you are.
He can be quite insecure at times when it comes to your relationship because he feels like you deserve the world but the world is too big for his tiny hands. Will his cuddles be enough ? God he hopes so.
He almost cried when you told him you loved him for the first time. He's also baffled as to how you might feel the same way about him.
Drunk Felix is really clingy and honest. Whatever he can’t say sober drunk felix can and definitely will.
“May the stars let my death be between your glorious thighs amen-“
“Felix-”
Felix is weird but it add to his charm. It’s not unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night and find the pillow besides yours empty. In the dead of night, you will find Felix munching on some weird ass food combinations.
He also has a habit of doing things that are extremely adorable without even noticing it. Like walking around the house in his oversized shirts, his hand clutching at the cuffs whilst the other one sheepishly rubs his eye.
“Can I lay on your lap ? I promise I won’t fall asleep. I just need to rest for a little.” His voice is so soft and hushed.
“Of course, come here.” He throws himself onto you as he comes hopping on his tip toes.
He falls asleep on his desk too often, so you have to carry him back to his room, where he snuggles against you while you lead him there. Once he's in his room, he insists that you stay with him, so you wait until he falls asleep as you play with his hair, and he wakes up thinking it was all a dream.
I firmly believe that Felix’s love language is acts of service. Like making you coffee and bringing you random snacks as you work or wrapping you up in fluffy blankets whenever he catches you slacking on the couch.
He's been romanticizing anything and everything since he met you. When he sees beautiful flowers, he wants to bring them to you, but he also believes that their beauty stems from the fact that they are alive, so he argues and stresses a lot when deciding what to do in simple situations like these.
His edginess belongs to his impulsiveness and his style only at any other situation he's a complete softboy.
And I'm certain he knows a variety of card tricks. He enjoys showing off, and he enjoys it even more when you become fascinated and beg him to share the trick.
If you're a morning person, you'll probably spend your mornings alone in solitude, finishing work before the day begins, but if you're a night owl, you and Felix will go out for night walks and Felix would go out for night walks, sharing headphones to play some music, enjoy each others presence and develop a habit of watching the sunrise together.
Felix makes you playlists at the most random times and with the most random names. Until one day he sent you a playlist at around 4 a.m called “you”, filled with his favorite music. He usually sees music as a safe space for himself and now that you are his safe place too it’s only appropriate for him to do so. This only further proves how he spends his time thinking about you.
I feel like Felix would have what most would call "attachment issues" but it’s mainly because of his protective tendencies. This is not to say that he’s this "overly jealous toxic" character; rather, he has never had anyone to truly call his own in his entire life so he would do anything to protect it.
Felix is also big on astrology, so if you want the perfect birth chart, he'll give it to you. Also he owns a lovely deck of tarot cards, and if you ask him for a love reading, he can't manage to keep his words and feelings to himself so he modifies your reading according to him and his desires. Let the boy abuse his powers for the sake of love.
His style could be described as dark academia, his wardrobe mainly consists of dark colors, lots and lots of blazers and a lot of oversized shirts. He also loves jewelry so he owns a lot of rings and chains. Just so you know, if you're wearing any of his rings, his heart is doing cartwheels.
Is it obvious that he loves it when you place your hand in his and play with his rings with your fingertips.
Spoil him. Buy him that baby blue hoodie with cat ears.
“Ah, you look adorable.”
“Isn’t it a bit too b-big ?”
“You could say that. Do you mind ?”
“No, I like it that way.”
“I would know.” You smirk followed by felix’s gasp.
“If you so desperately wanted a cat boy you know you have me right ?” Nudging your shoulder, Sage leapt into the conversation.
“What is he talking about ?” Felix grumbled, only to notice two fuzzy triangular fabrics on top of his head as he brushed his fingertips over it.
He’s obsessed with your hands, kissing your knuckles, drawing circles in your palm. At a certain point it became an involuntary gesture he does it quite often without realizing.
He’s also canonically extremely blushy but he would never admit it. You’re convinced he uses some sort of make up because it is not possible for the pink dusting his cheeks to look this good.
He insists that you’re cold even in the warmest weathers because he wants to see you in his coat.
Sage forces Felix to take his thirst trap Tiktoks.
He really appreciates it when you add to his herbal tea collection without him noticing and he considers it a sign of affection because he takes his tea very seriously.
He loses it when you call him baby he gets flustered and frustrated but it’s all because it rolls off of your tongue so nicely that he can’t get enough of it.
Felix owns a broad collection of scented lip balms some of them are tinted. You didn’t hear this from me.
He never once took anything the Sage says seriously until he saw how well you two got along. He never thought that he would be standing there taking relationship and flirting advice from the frat boy.
Felix is a complete asshole when he wants to. He’s very verbal about it too. Consistent sarcastic remarks and eye rolls. I mean it runs in his blood, look at Escell.
You love it when he suddenly whips out the confident Felix, it’s not a daily occurrence you know.
When Felix is concentrated, he’s lost and there’s almost no way you or anything else can distract him. So it’s time to grab some colorful hair clips and ties to fuck around with his hair.
Felix is not the best at verbally expressing his gratitude towards you. He doesn’t know what he would do if you weren’t there for him at the lowest points of his life where normally he would close himself and bare the weight of his family problems and personal life issues that he can’t seem to get out of. Now he has you, someone who’s willing to listen to him and offer him a warm embrace when he needs the most. 
While you to play games together, when he wins he wears that iconic shit eating grin of his with pride looking at you through the corner of his eye. “Shit, what do you want me to say to that felix ? Perhaps I should call you master now that you won ‘one’ fucking round.” He is praying that the screen light is covering the fact that he is a blushy mess after hearing you say that.
NSFW
I cannot stress this enough but he is extremely vocal in bed. Whining, trying to restrict himself from making too much noise but failing miserably.
Muffled pants, choked sobs and lots of pleasure infused tears.
He loves getting praised during sex but what he loves more is to get praised after it’s all over. Like you telling him how great he was, how well he behaved, how good he made you feel. He experiences sub drops a lot so please assure him that he did well :(
He’s into power-play but not in a submissive or dominant kind of relationship, it’s more of a psychological thing where the fact that he can see how good he makes you feel gives him a rush of confidence and adrenaline.
I believe that this motherfucker is a masochist, pain makes him more excited than getting an update on his favorite author who went on a year long hiatus and that is saying a lot.
Bite him. Scratch him. It is so stimulating for him he can reach his high just from those actions.
Fuck do anything to his ears bite, lick, pull, blow on it. He is extremely sensitive so anything you do will basically drive him out of his mind. It will most definitely lead to him trembling beneath your fingertips.
You must think that you are the only one who is such a tease but you’re wrong. Felix teases you quite often mostly to direct your attention towards him or to keep your attention on him. He’s quite greedy when it comes to you and your hands on his body. Unbuttoning unnecessary amount of buttons on his shirt to show a little skin that he knows you’ll notice. Playing with his necklace placing the chain between his lips dragging it towards the inside of his bottom lip teasing the metallic charm with the tip of his tongue. He definitely ain’t oblivious he knows exactly what he’s doing and he makes sure that you know exactly what he’s doing.
When he’s in the mood he will tug the hem of your top meanwhile his eyes are glued to the floor or graze the temples of his glasses between his lips, his teeth lightly nibbling the pointy edge. He loves to play dumb too. When you question him, he acts like he doesn’t intend anything and that you need to get your head out of the gutter.
At the end of the session Felix looks divine. Drool leaking down from his bottom lip to his jaw line towards his neck, his bangs sticking on his sweat coated forehead, his chest rising up and down quickly. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, his hands still clutching tightly to the sheets. Faint whimpers and deep breaths filling the air.
Leading up to the after care, his shy self returns. He buries his face to your chest hiding his blushy cheeks beneath the palms of his hands.
He likes to experiment a lot and you are his favorite subject.
It shouldn’t be surprising to find random kink definitions or role-play ideas on the search history of your laptop. After all Felix just asked for it to write an email, that’s all there is to it. That’s until you offer to try them out.
He doesn’t act upon his jealousy, what he does instead is that leaving marks on you especially around your neck and your chest where he knows it will show. Don’t cover them up if you don’t wanna deal with him.
“People just don’t appreciate art anymore.”
“Felix these are, hickeys.”
“Oh so now you are judging my art medium ?”
“Since when proving Sage that I got railed by you is a form of art ?”
I didn’t see anyone point this out but whenever he is in the sub space he tends to be more on the bratty side. He starts of shy but his confidence builds up as the tension rises. Meaning that you should be ready to get your patience tested.
When you two are in separate places your suggestive words and tone leads up to phone sex, which Felix secretly fantasized about a lot. What made everything even more dirty was the fact that you didn’t know that he was laying on your bed surrounded by your scent and humping your pillow. Once you come back home you are greeted with a fresh pair of sheets on your bed. Apparently Felix decided to do you a favor and clean your room as well as the the whole house. He’s crossing fingers that you don’t notice because he knows that he’ll never hear the end of it.
Felix knows a lot about sex but his knowledge is based upon fiction rather than experience. So, naturally, he is more interested about learning specifically how your body responds to certain actions, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in so teach him. He’s a good student and oh well he’s a quick learner.
Pull his hair pull his hair put his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair.
When he settles between your legs as he ties his hair, he places the hairband between his lips and looks up at you with half lidded eyes. It’s his definition of torture.
Even though he doesn’t give off that vibe, he is very freaky if you would’ve known what his AO3 tags consisted of you would agree.
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okay so this was originally going to be a blurb for a request, but i got carried away and decided to post as a full fic. i’m a bit surprised because i was really nervous to write draco and angst, but i got into it and i think i’m pretty happy with the finished product
notes: draco x pureblood!reader, draco x oc, angst, fake dating, arranged marriage
words: 3.7k
- - -
“Hello love, did you hear?” Draco called to you as you walked across the courtyard. You kept your head down, knowing he’d gotten a letter from his parents, and it was likely similar to the one you received from your mother at breakfast. Your pace quickened so Draco wouldn’t be in earshot of the rest of your classmates when he reached you.
“You’re going to ignore me?” He sneered from only a few feet behind you. In a moment, he had fallen into step beside you, but his voice was still loud when he repeated, “You’re going to ignore your future husband?”
The murmurs of nearby classmates were blocked out by the feeling of blood rushing to your face as you stopped and made deadly eye contact with Draco. Before you could hurl an insult at him, he turned to you with his signature smirk and coldly said, “So you have heard. Mother and Father have picked you out for me.” His upper lip curled as he spoke.
As much as you wanted to smack that smirk off his face, you refrained and instead took a slow step closer to him. Your voice was a low whisper, so only he could hear, “If you think I can’t make your life a living hell, think again. I don’t want this, and, seeing the way you look at that Muggle-born girl in Charms, I’d guess you don’t want this either. We might as well not make this any more excruciating than it already is.”
You took note of the angry breaths puffing his chest out and fanning hot breath across your cheeks. Before he could respond though, you spun on your heel and marched off. Once you were a few yards away, you called over your shoulder, “Such a shame. I’d hoped my parents would have better taste.” His jaw was clenched with rage and you didn’t even try to stifle a sickly sweet laugh.
~ ~ ~
A few months had passed and, surprisingly, Draco had been relatively kind during the few times you’d interacted since the courtyard fiasco. You’d mostly avoided each other, which was why you were so surprised when he pulled you into an empty classroom after dinner one evening. As much as you hated to admit it, the feeling of his long fingers wrapped tightly around your wrist gave you butterflies.
But once you were inside, you jerked your arm and he released his grip. “What on-” you hissed.
“I need a favor.” Draco’s face was softer than you’d ever seen it. It was so uncharacteristic that it almost made you queasy. Most of you wanted to say something spiteful, but you were too curious as to what could possibly make his eyes fill with desperation. You cocked an eyebrow, keeping a stern look in your eyes.
“You know Arielle?” He murmured, “Well we’ve been seeing each other in secret and I’m worried my parents are catching on so… I need you to pretend we’re dating.”
You pursed your lips as he continued, “We both know this was going to happen eventually so-”
But you cut him off, “What’s in it for me?”
That’s when Draco’s face returned to normal: narrowed eyes, an icy sneer, and a tight jaw. His eyes flicked down briefly before locking on yours. His voice was cold and dry as ever, “I’ll owe you.”
“You’ll owe me?” You spat, emphasizing the word “owe.”
Draco folded his arms across his chest, “Yeah. I’ll owe you.”
You paused for a moment. Maybe having something to hold over Draco’s head wouldn’t be so bad, especially since you were doomed to spend the rest of your life with him.
“Fine,” You said firmly, “but you owe me.”
~ ~ ~
In all honesty, pretending to be Draco’s girlfriend was easier than you had anticipated. Nobody at school expected Draco to be a super affectionate or attentive boyfriend, so you mostly had to hold his hand between classes and sit on his lap occasionally in the Common Room. And every once in awhile, you’d have to spend an evening hiding out in the Astronomy Tower so Draco could see Arielle without people wondering why he’d left you alone on a Friday or Saturday evening, but you didn’t mind spending those nights alone under the stars. The only really difficult part was when he called you pet names; something about hearing the words “darling” and “my love” roll off his tongue made your heart skip. You refused to acknowledge that reaction though.
Sometimes, late at night, you would remember that you may have to spend the rest of your life pretending to love Draco Malfoy, and that made your stomach churn.
It wasn’t until one Friday after classes when you started to really worry about your feelings for Draco. You were in the library looking for a book to use for a paper when someone cleared their throat beside you. Turning, you were face to face with Henry Gilbert—a tall, dark-haired, handsome boy in the year above you. “Hi, Henry… can I help you?” Your eyebrows drew together slightly in confusion as you spoke.
Smiling softly, he responded “Whatcha reading?” Henry turned the book in your hands so he could see the title, and you felt his warm fingers ghost over your hand as he did so. You felt your face flush a bit and you looked from the book to him. You were so flustered that you didn’t notice Draco at the end of the stacks watching the interaction with a hard expression.
“Um, it’s just for a paper…” The look in Henry’s eyes was making your heart pound. Again, he moved his hand to the book resting on your forearm. He placed his hand atop the hand that was wrapped around the book.
“Hey, I was wondering-” He started, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach as you realized what he was about to ask.
But before he could finish, you saw his wide eyes catch on something behind you. You were about to look over your shoulder to see what had caught his attention when you felt a hand grasp your upper arm and pull you back. Suddenly, Draco was between Henry and yourself with his arm lifted slightly in front of you in an almost protective manner.
Appalled, you hissed, “Draco,” But you froze when he shot you the iciest look you’d ever seen.
“Would your girlfriend be pleased to find out you’ve been in the library flirting with other boy’s girlfriends?” Draco’s tone was stinging.
Henry’s eyes narrowed at Draco before softening and looking back at you. His lips curved into a mischievous grin as he spoke, “Oh, love, wouldn’t you like to have a bit of fun before you have to spend the rest of your life with this git?”
“I-” You began, but Draco’s arm—the one that had been protectively hovering a few inches in front of you—moved so his forearm was solidly on your lower ribcage.
“Don’t you dare speak to her,” His voice was low and deep, nearly a growl, and you realized his other hand was holding his wand by his side.
Henry raised his arms in defeat and raised his brows at you before leaving the library without another word. Draco didn’t make eye contact with you as he pushed passed you to go back to the table he was working at before. As you registered what had just happened, your hand shot out to grab Draco’s arm and stop him. “Hey,” You sputtered, but Draco just grunted and shook off your hand.
As you left the library, your head was swimming. Why had Draco been so protective? Was it because you were his fake girlfriend? Or did it have to do with your betrothal? Or was there another reason for his reaction? Your heart faltered as you considered that last idea.
But you decidedly ignored any potential feelings for Draco; there was no reason to indulge the idea of anything serious happening between the two of you. Your parents had made sure of that when they’d arranged your marriage with the Malfoys.
Things continued like normal after that day: hand-holding and the occasional peck on the cheek. You didn’t think about those worries again until Valentine’s Day. Draco made little effort to celebrate the holiday, which would have made you nervous if you cared about the believability of your relationship. It wasn’t until that evening, as you sat beside him in the Common Room reading a book, that he presented you with a Valentine’s Day gift. “You don’t have to open it now, but I figured I ought to get you something.” His voice was a murmur, and he sounded so insincere that it hurt your feelings a bit, even coming from a fake boyfriend. You nodded silently, toying with the ribbon on the box he’d given you. He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead before turning back to the conversation he was having with his friends.
Later that night, alone in your dorm, you unwrapped the box. It contained a small box and a pink envelope. Your name was scrawled neatly on the envelope—too neatly to be written by Draco. Curiously, you pulled out the piece of parchment to find a handwritten letter.
Dear [y/n],
I know we haven’t really spoken before, but I wanted to thank you for what you’re doing for Draco and I. I’m sure he hasn’t expressed how much it means to him—and for me as well—but we are both truly grateful. He’s told me he appreciates your help in this, and I feel like I should pass that sentiment along.
With your help, I’ve found the love of my life. He is so sweet to me and we’ve been able to have the most splendid past few months because of all you’ve done to help us. I cannot begin to imagine the sacrifices you’ve made to help us achieve that, but I am so appreciative of it. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. I honestly owe you so much. I’m not sure what the future holds for the three of us, but I will always consider you a friend and you can always rely on me.
My gift to him was a bottle of my perfume and a ring with our names inscribed on the inside. You should take credit for both of these if it comes up. Enclosed in this package is a token of our gratitude (I picked them out). You should probably tell people Draco got them for you, but I want to make sure you know that it’s also a girl-to-girl “thank you” gift.
Yours,
Arielle
You swallowed thickly as you read the letter over again. She had drawn a delicate heart next to her name at the bottom of the letter and your hand traced over it. This was the first time you’d really had to think about Arielle and Draco’s relationship. The way she described him was unlike anything you’d ever heard anyone say about Draco before, and you wondered how different he must be around her.
It made your stomach ache to think about. You knew in your heart that you secretly hoped to one day see the beautiful version of Draco that Arielle saw every day. You gingerly opened the box that had accompanied the letter. There were two gorgeous dangly earrings inside, and you could picture Arielle and Draco in a shop together buying them. You could see her pointing at them in a glass case, and Draco paying for them solemnly as Arielle beamed beside him. And you wondered, painfully, what he had bought her for Valentine’s Day. The growing pit in your stomach twisted when you saw the messy scrawl on the other side of the parchment.
Thank you.
- D.M.
~ ~ ~
You and Draco had married soon after the war. Your parents had subtly mentioned that they would understand if you chose not to marry Draco; they were worried mostly about your family’s reputation if they became entwined with the Malfoys, who had fallen from grace on both sides of the war. But you considered three things: the threat of Narcissa and Lucius’s wrath if you backed out of the engagement, the fear that you couldn’t find love with any of your old classmates because you had associated yourself with the Malfoys for too long, and the persistent, foolish hope that maybe Draco would someday love you properly.
Draco worked at the Ministry and you spent your days listless in the home you shared. Draco had insisted on buying a grand estate, and it was larger than the two of you ever really needed. At first, you had considered working, but, with the Malfoy’s wealth, you didn’t need to. Instead, you focused on taking care of the home, picking up hobbies, and finding miscellaneous activities to fill your time. Life was dull, but you felt lucky to be safe and cared for after the chaos of the war.
Most evenings, you’d make dinner and eat with Draco at the kitchen island or in the large dining room. Your relationship was friendlier now. The war had hurt Draco worse than you, so you had become a sort of caretaking companion. He still saw Arielle on occasion too. At first, they had tried to keep up their relationship, but, when she realized he still planned to marry you, things had waned. You didn’t ask Draco about her very much, and he rarely mentioned her. All you knew was that he would visit with her at least a few times a month, and she still sent you gifts or cards on holidays.
Draco and you slept in separate rooms. He was close—just across the hall—but neither of you felt compelled to share a bedroom. Some evenings, he would slip into bed beside you in the middle of the night and be gone before you woke in the morning. You knew it was because of nightmares, but you never discussed it. Those nights were becoming less frequent as time passed though. Admittedly, you liked sharing a bed with him, but you could never tell him that. Your persistent feelings for him gnawed at your heart more frequently than you’d have liked, and some things would especially make your heart ache—like sharing a bed or when he’d spend the night at Arielle’s and you’d be alone in the big empty house.
One evening, when Draco was meant to be at Arielle’s, he came home abruptly. You were redecorating the sitting room—one of your favorite boredom busters—when you heard the door slam and his quick footsteps up the stairs, followed by a rustling sound. As you finished hanging a new painting, you heard something upstairs clatter. You went to the base of the stairs and were about to call up to Draco when you realized that the rustling sound was actually the sound of soft sobs.
You tiptoed up the dark staircase to Draco’s room and rapped gently on the door before coming in slowly. He was crouched on the foot of his bed, facing away from you, with his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, but the sobs were quieter now that you were in the room. A few feet in front of him was a shattered perfume bottle and a ring that had been thrown on top of it. You nervously sat down beside him, just close enough that your shoulders touched. Now that you were closer, the smell of the perfume was overwhelming.
When Draco raised his head from his hands, his eyes were puffy and his cheeks were stained with tears, but his expression was solemn. “She doesn’t want to see me anymore.” His voice was strained, “I think she’s found someone else.”
You’d seen this coming. Arielle loved Draco, but he was married to you, and she deserved to find an available man. Draco used to come home from their visits in high spirits, but that wasn’t the case with their past few visits.
Unable to find comforting words, you rubbed your hand up and down his back instead. A few moments passed and Draco’s breaths became steadier before you finally spoke, “Can I clean this up?”
He gulped and nodded, “Please get rid of it.” Using your wand, you dumped the shards of glass in the trash can by the door and evaporated the liquid. You picked up the ring, catching a glimpse of Arielle’s name on the inside, and moved to put it in the trash with the glass. “Wait,” Draco choked, “Can I see it?”
You placed the ring in the palm of his hand and a tear slipped from his eye as he pointed his wand at it. Arielle’s name slowly faded, so only Draco’s remained. He held the ring between his thumb and index finger, inspecting it for a moment before handing it to you.
“You’re all I have now.” He said softly.
Your jaw clenched at his words. The war and marriage had effectively destroyed your social life, and you’d never been close with your family, so Draco had been all you had for the past year or so. His words only reminded you of that.
Draco stood suddenly and grabbed something from inside his dresser. He turned back to you and handed you the ring, which was now on a thin silver chain. “Will you wear this? I promise you I’ll be around more and we can be like a proper husband and wife… like we should’ve been all along.” His voice was pained and pleading, so you obliged.
You rose to your feet and took his hand, “Let’s get you in bed. It’s late.”
Draco nodded as you handed him one of his pajama sets. While he changed, you went downstairs to make him a cup of chamomile tea. You hesitated at the top of the stairs before going into your room to grab your favorite lavender candle, praying it would help replace the lingering smell of Arielle’s perfume. There was a small envelope on your pillow and your name was written on it in a familiar scrawl. You gingerly unfolded the tear-stained parchment.
[y/n],
I wanted to thank you one last time. As always, you can count on me if you ever need anything.
Please take care of him.
Much love,
Arielle
You nodded to yourself before tucking the letter into your nightstand drawer and heading back to Draco’s room, mug and candle in hand.
When you entered his room, Draco was sitting at the end of his bed, staring at nothing. You sat beside him and handed him the mug, “Here, love.” His eyes remained fixed on the empty space ahead of him, but he smiled grimly as he sipped the tea. You lit the candle and sat it on his dresser where the perfume bottle had been. Then you knelt on the floor in front of him so his eyes finally met yours. You put a hand on his knee as you spoke, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
The emptiness in his eyes made your heartache worse than ever before. He blinked slowly before whispering, “Stay with me tonight?”
You took his hand and drew back the sheets on his bed. He crawled in stiffly and you laid beside him. Just like when he had nightmares, you turned your back to him so you were spooning with his arm wrapped tightly around your middle. He sniffled sharply in your ear, and your gut shattered.
You loved him. You had never realized how much or when it had gotten this bad, but it was suddenly unmistakeable. That’s why you’d married him and that’s why you made him dinner every night and that’s why you were so pained by his heartbreak this evening. You cared about him so deeply and genuinely that it made you physically ill. And, as you felt the cold metal ring on your chest, you realized that Draco would never love you as you loved him. His heart would always belong to Arielle in some way or another. You’d seen the gifts they got each other and knew the dates they went on and the way he looked after he’d spent time with her. Arielle was truly meant for Draco, and you would never be that for him because your relationship was predestined by your parents. The realization made your chest feel empty. You’d been hollowed out by the pain of loving a man who would always be near but never truly yours.
Tears were beginning to pool in your eyes when you felt Draco’s chest heave suddenly. Any thought of crying was abandoned as you turned your attention back to the boy beside you. Rotating in his arms, you saw that he wasn’t crying, but dryly sobbing. His face was wracked with worry as you brushed it softly with your fingertips.
“I have to tell you something,” he choked, “I can’t keep it from you much longer,”
You nodded, desperately trying to predict what he was going to say.
His voice was shaky now, “Turn back around, please.”
Turning back so you faced away from him stung a bit, but your heart was beating too fast to deal with that hurt.
Draco took a few deep breaths into the crook of your neck before he spoke. “I got a letter from my parents this morning…”
Your breath hitched as you realized what he was going to say, but you waited silently for him to finish.
“They- They asked about…” His voice cracked and his arm on your waist tightened, “They asked about an heir.”
The only response you could muster was a slow nod. Your eyes were squeezed shut as you came to terms with this next step of your sham of a relationship. Tears began to flow gently from your eyes at the thought. What else were you supposed to do? You would have to start a family with the man you love, all while knowing he didn’t love you the same way. The voices in your head didn’t stop until you realized Draco had fallen asleep. The feeling of his slow breaths on your skin and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest slowly lulled your aching heart to sleep.
[ A/N: okay so i get a lot of asks and comments about a part 2 for this fic and im honestly so touched!! i posted my thoughts about a part 2 a while back and i’ll link it here <3 ] - oct 4, 2020
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𝐂𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.
𝐂𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 | ❝Slowly, she was collapsed and sheathed inside his heart — and that was the beginning and the end of everything for Levi Ackerman.❞
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2590;
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: Mentions of canon-typical violence. Inspired by Arwen Undómiel's speech in “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring'' and the song ''Can’t help falling in love'' by Elvis.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hi! English is not my native language, so if you spot a misspelled word or anything else, feel free to let me know. I plan to look for someone to help me with proofreading because I feel like I leave a lot behind. I hope I can find help to continue publishing these short stories!
────── ▎Levi Ackerman still remembers the feeling when he realized that he loved her.
He knew, he simply knew, that nothing would ever be the same again. This love came suddenly, without warning, and was born inside him in silence, destroying all the countless walls he had built over the years.
The rational and critical part of his brain is always trying to convince him to drown that feeling because nothing good can result from love in those days. So, for a long time, Levi tried to act as if it didn't hurt — how bad hiding what he felt hurt his mind. The fact was: he always lost the people he loved. The fear of losing another person, of seeing them turn into a memory, never terrified him as much as it did now. He didn't want to lose her too.
So, he wonders what the hell he should do. Over the past few months, Levi has always kept her back and that was the nature of their relationship. Levi's understanding of her had always been instinctive, based on a single fact: they were perfect opposites and, in a way, perfect counterweights. But then, he looked at her in a million different ways and loved her in each of them — as a soldier, as a partner, as a friend, as a lover.
Suddenly, humanity's strongest soldier, the one who had brought down countless titans and people who performed evil deeds beyond human comprehension, was unarmed and vulnerable. Slowly, she was collapsed and sheathed inside his heart — and that was the beginning and the end of everything for Levi Ackerman.
The first time Levi Ackerman realized how much he loved her occurred the night before the operation to retake Wall Maria. It was evening, and it was raining - a fine, murmuring autumnal drizzle. The weather was comfortable. Not so hot and not so cold, but just right. Even so, Levi Ackerman was not feeling well. His body was begging for rest and his mind for comfort, but he could not afford to lie down like everyone else. In the stillness, his thoughts were constantly interrupted by the image of the soldiers and friends he had lost over the years, thrown to the ground and covered in his own blood, and this made Levi feel dizzy and sick.
His shoulders were down, his head hung down, and his body was slightly bent over the documents on his desk. Beside him was a long-empty cup of tea. It was the shadow of the great Levi Ackerman. It was simpler than humanity's strongest soldier, but at the same time it was empty and incomplete. Ironic. He had always boasted of being cool, of not caring about trivialities, and of keeping himself intact as a captain, and now he was nothing but a decaying shadow of the infamous Levi Ackerman.
And so, the first few hours of that night passed. So much was happening all at once. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to clear his mind and stand firm, as he always should.
He sighed. Levi left the pile of documents meticulously organized on the table, picked up the empty cup, and stood up. His eyes grew accustomed easily to the darkness, the only sound was of an old clock at the end of the hall and his footsteps on the old linoleum floor.
「flashback」
Levi liked to think he lived long enough to understand that one can never escape his true nature. Such is Historia's destiny, and she is finally crowned as Queen before a large and enthusiastic crowd. The people remember seeing the Queen protect them from a Titan and admire her for standing up to her father.
A smart move, Levi thought.
Standing next to Erwin and Hange, he thinks of his mother. Of Isabel, who cannot be the heroine she was meant to be. He thinks of Furlan and his resilience. He thinks of all the people he has lost over the years, especially those who failed to become what they were meant to be.
''Hey'', Mikasa's voice was low, but it was enough to get the captain's attention.
Up to that point, Levi had not greeted any of his squadron members, although he knew that many were with unasked questions hanging on their tongues. Political issues occupied most of his time. The words were not spoken, but duly were there, at some point; all praise and words of gratitude for his team.
And Levi looked at her, grave tenderness in his eyes turned to Mikasa, and yet, even if she had not been raised among men of war, she was someone many could not overcome in battle. She approached the girl with hair as black as raven wings and whispered something in her ear, to which Mikasa thanked her with a small smile. In those days, it was rare to see anyone smile.
Her dress, which was a deep green with white flower embroidery and golden arabesques on the sleeves, shimmered in the faint wind that afternoon. Levi thinks that she looks so beautiful with the sunlight in her hair.
He interrupts his thought suddenly, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
And, as if sensing that she is being watched, she raises her eyes from Mikasa to the captain. He thinks that she is going to raise one of her eyebrows or simply keep the conversation with Mikasa. But then she did something that surprised him even more. She smiled. At him.
He feels his cheeks burn.
''You are staring, shorty'', said Hange, amused, following his gaze.
''Tch, shut up.''
It was just a smile, but Levi couldn't forget it for the rest of the ceremony.
He thought that the true beauty of the place belonged to her.
「 flashback's end」
Damn, he thinks. That smile.
The smell of tea berries and wet earth overwhelm him. Outside, the rain was falling hard as he brewed another cup of tea. He sipped the warm, clear liquid, allowing the noise made by his lips as he sucked the drink to ring out loud. He smiled, amazed that she didn't like the drink. This was the first more human demonstration he had had in a long, long time.
It was during a sleepless night like that, months ago, when they could finally be in each other's presence, just them. It was... easy to talk. Maybe it was because of the tea, the sound of her laughter, or none of those two things. Maybe just her and her way of looking beyond him as nothing but.... Levi. Just Levi.
Levi grew up poor and alone in a place where he was taught to hate every bit of it with a burning passion, he understands a thing or two about injustice and hate even before Kenny decides to teach him how to fight. He loved his mother with every fiber of his being. He loved his friends. When they died, Levi felt like he was dying with them; but that feeling? It was a different kind of love. He had never loved anything, or anyone like her.
Get out of my head, woman.
He took a deep breath and decided to put those thoughts aside once again. After finishing the tea, he put the cup away and headed back to his room.
He stopped himself momentarily when he noticed the door ajar on his right.
And there she was, dressed in a silver and blue dress, in a polished wooden chair by the window, whose light westerly wind blew through and made her hair flutter. To him, it seemed that starlight was in her eyes.
Levi was silent for a second and then sighed. There was nothing to be said now that they were there, preparing to reclaim the lost lands and waiting for answers.
But when she let out a deep sigh of pain, he slammed his knuckles against the door. She raised her eyes to him, feeling her throat go dry, and immediately leaned back, pulling her eyebrows together in confusion.
''Captain,'' she said, but signs of weariness and pain could not be hidden in her gently voice.
"Are you hurt?" asked the superior, taking her by surprise.
"Except for a few bruises, I'm fine'', She said, gesturing for him to come in. "Can't sleep?"
Levi studied her from top to bottom, paying attention to her body language and any sign of injury. There were two scars on her hands. She tried to cover them with the sleeve of her dress.
''I rarely get any sleep, so the person who should be asking this question is me,'' he said, and although he was glad to see her, worry ran through his chest.
She smiled.
"Fair enough''
Frustration tightened his voice a bit, but she thought it was incredibly appealing when he said: ''You never respond the way people expect you to.''
Levi approached and stopped beside the window. The beautiful weather and the calm seemed a mere mockery to the men before the most dreadful mission of their lives.
"I'm sorry," she says sincerely. ''Just a stupid accident during training...and I can't sleep,'' she admitted. ''Nightmares. They've been recurring since we faced the female titan. I think my brain is malfunctioning.''
''It's ok you have hard times.''
She took a deep breath and then inhaled slowly. It had been a long time since they had shared moments like that; and she had always loved his company infinitely, even though she had never shown it in words.
The thoughts began to surge like a burst of fireworks, making loud noises, disappearing and reappearing. Instinctively, she pressed one hand against the other, but the twinge of pain almost made her curse. He didn't miss that.
''You should bandage this to prevent an infection'' he says.
She let her hands slide to the sides of her body.
''Yeah, you're probably right.''
"Do you have any medical kits around here?''
Her expression wavers for a while, as if she is thinking about it. Then she turns and opens one of the bags left beside the bed. Levi has approached her as she begins to rummage through the material.
''Here, let me do that,'' he said.
「flashback」
The horses pranced and neighed, startled, when a group of titans was spotted. The maneuvering equipment tinkled as the wires were released. The sight of those creatures was terrifying, but the battlefield had already become a part of their lives, and Survey Corps was willing to fight.
Above, a sunless sky, muffled by heavy clouds. Levi could hear roars and screams all around, the sharp, distinctive thud of the clash of blades against the back of the titans' heads. There were bloodied bodies, some without limbs and with pieces strewn across the surrounding ground.
Then, time seemed to freeze.
The titan's giant hand withdrew and a terrible howl resound across the battlefield.
The titan screamed again, but the fury of the guttural howl was nothing compared to what the captain felt as he investigated the still face of (Y/N). For the hundredth of a second it took his mind to assimilate the events, Levi was struck by horror. He stood motionless; he simply found himself gripping the blades and looking at her. Suddenly, his muscles were contracted by the urgency, the will, the urge to hurt him. This wild need, echoing in his ears like a broken record, obscured his mind.
With an immense bang, several blows struck the titan.
As the creature felt motionless to the ground, Levi ran to it, whose face was as white as a lobelia and as cold as frost.
He didn't know how deeply he was entwined with her until they tried to take her away from him
「 flashback's end」
Levi listened attentively to everything she said, as she was also attentive to the gentle, careful way in which he touched her.
''I hope you won't use this to bribe me, Ackerman.''
He rolls his eyes.
''Maybe I'll take Sasha's food and say it was you.''
''That's the biggest threat I've ever heard in my entire life,'' she says eventually.
A strange flutter in his stomach threatened a smile on his face.
"Maybe it makes you let to be a brat"
She takes a long breath.
"I'll let her kill me and then you'll be sorry"
"Don't be so dramatic", he says. "By the way, I'll never let anyone hurt you as long I live."
She is speechless. Her heart starts to beat faster than she thought it could, and all her body was filled with a so good feel. She couldn't explain exactly what is, but there was anyway.
Levi doesn't look at her face again. And then, the silence was back once again.
It was a difficult operation for the Captain; he touches her skin, heard her voice so close and quietly to him.
"It's done", Levi says.
She follows his eyes and saw her own hands. He still was holding them.
"I appreciate that."
He looks at her.
You're so fucking beautiful.
Levi runs his thumb over her fingers tenderly.
A crow screams at the top of its lungs in the distance, and she almost cringes. Levi ignores him and, longing for her starry eyes again, brings her hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on his skin.
"Are you afraid?" she whispers. Levi could feel the goosebumps that her touch gave him. ''Sometimes, I feel as if we are going to discover something eviler than the titans themselves.''
The wind blows angrily, making her hair fly.
''There are few things that make me afraid. This is not one of them.''
Losing you is, he thinks.
Inside his chest, the sound of his racing heartbeat is loud enough for him to hear. His heart pulses melodiously, pumping blood and sending some to his cheeks.
"Besides, this must be the first time I've heard you say you're afraid," he says, braiding invisible lines on the back of his hands. "Maybe you're sick. Let's examine it before it devours your brain entirely.
"I can't tell if you're joking or not."
He laughs lightly, and she thinks how nice it is when he does that. Levi's face is always so stern, so cold when they are around others. It's like it's a secret that only she knows.
Suddenly, Levi thinks about what it would feel like to kiss her.
"You should try to rest now", he whispers, looking away.
He starts to walk to the door.
It was in this exact moment he wished to have been able to tell her all those things in his mind.
"Wait!"
He turns back to her.
"What is?"
While Levi said, she holds his cheeks with her palms.
"Stay", she whispers. "Just a little longer"
Levi feels his heart beating faster than he thought it could, and all of his body was filled with that desire again.
Their lips touch in a chaste and last kiss for barely a second.
Levi holds her hands close to his heart. His tongue traces her bottom lips, brushes against the edge of her teeth before mingling with hers. It was kind, as it could say all those things on his heart.
When their lips step back, he says: "For as long as you wish"
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