#i am always a fraction of a second away from “this is giving me an existential crisis i should die”

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

moritz stiefel after having one (1) wet dream: i hope god kills me

#please god give me consumption and take these sticky dreams away #with any luck he’ll ignore that prayer #dwsa #spring awakening #deaf west spring awakening #moritz stiefel #melchritz #daniel durant #alex boniello #john gallagher jr. #this is a deaf west spring awakening house #yeet my deet #i really fuck with that energy #i don’t have the wet dream anatomy #but i know i would have the same reaction #i am always a fraction of a second away from “this is giving me an existential crisis i should die” #mental health 👍 #why is he haunted by the legs of a woman? #oh yeah because he’s gay #and terrified of society’s heteronormative expectations of him #moritz is gaaaaaaaay #melchior gabor #fuck melchior gabor all my homies hate melchior gabor #touch me #catholic guilt

[corpsebasil]

NIKOLAI HUNGER GAMES PARTE DOS

dear God he's so handsome I can't do this

Maybe you shouldn't be, you know you shouldn't be, but you're happy to see your prep team regardless of how you're feeling on the inside.

"'The female tribute for District Two'" Lionus Treech, the announcer for your district, had cheered, reading the slip of paper inside the glass bowl. If you could've bet money you'd put your life's savings on every name in that bowl being yours. "'Y/N Y/L/N!'"

When you moved forward, exchanging one quick glance with the sharp-toothed Enobaria, you knew none of the other surviving victors would volunteer. Even Brutus, a nasty, violent man that still treats life like an arena, hadn't done much but lift his brows when Nikolai's name was read from the male bowl. (It helped that Nikolai was watching Brutus with an expression that promised unspeakable violence if the older man even blinked funny.)

"Darling!" The first voice cries; the trio of stylists that burst through the train door are as loud as their sense of style, all three clad in some sort of animal print. "You look stunning!" Lark gasps, bringing his warm hands to your face. The dark-skinned man is wearing bright purple liner, the color unfairly gorgeous on him. "Don't worry, we'll get these dark circles out of the way. Where's that handsome man of yours?"

"You won't believe the party you missed last month, Y/N. There were aerialists dressed like actual swans! And a frozen swan ice sculpture!" Jem adds, kissing your cheeks quickly. Her dark hair is pulled back in a spiky bun, the part of her hair zigzagging. "You would've looked glorious in this white little number I was working on--covered in feathers. Just glorious."

"I'm sure Y/N feels devastated she missed it." Xiomara, your most level-headed stylist, muses, her tattooed skin free of any makeup. She almost looks normal by Capitol standards--if it weren't for the ear-modding that leaves the tips of them pointed like a fairy's. Her golden eyes are amused when she pulls you into a soft hug, her voice soft. "Hello, darling. We've all missed you." When she pulls away it's clear she wants to say more but she doesn't. "The gem of the Capitol. We will do our best to make you shine."

"Oooh! That's an idea!" Lark snaps his fingers. "'Shine'!"

"What are you getting at?" Jem scoffs.

"Shiiiiiineee. We can cover her skin in gold dust! She'll look like a goddess."

"She'll look like a damn disco ball."

"Lets see you come up with--"

"Hello." The moment Nikolai speaks, his frame filling the empty doorway, all three preps whip their heads in his direction. Jem actually blushes. Then the cooing begins, Jem and Lark fussing over him while you and Xiomara watch with tiny smiles on your faces. Your prep team--Nikolai's biggest fans. "Yes, yes I did." Nikolai responds to a flurry of questions, Lark's biggest concern being whether your lover has cut his hair recently or not.

"With you and Finnick there I'll have to keep smelling salts around for the amount of swooning Capitol citizens." Lark sighs, fanning himself dramatically. "Just imagine him covered in gold dust, Jem."

"I am certainly imagining it."

"Picture it. Picture it vividly."

"Let's allow the two of them relax." Xiomara urges, calmly leading her fellow stylists out the door. She gives Nikolai a soft pat on the shoulder as they leave, still squawking about covering the two of you in gold dust. The second the door closes you sit on the nearest velvet-clad seat, a long sigh leaving you.

"Gold dust, hmm?" Nikolai hums, approaching you calmly. "Seems like your prep team is excited for the Quell."

"Maybe they're inspired. They get to style me, after all."

"Course they are." Nikolai smirks when he leans over you, arms caging you against the couch. Your eyebrows lift, chin raising a fraction as he crowds you, forcing you to look up. "You're utterly striking."

"Why thank you. I always say--"

"You always say--?"

"--'I am the gem of Panem'--"

"Yeah, yeah." Nikolai scoffs, cutting off your giggles with his mouth. He leans into you, lips roving over your own while you close your eyes, your hands tugging him even closer. "'Gem of Panem'. You certainly are." His words are spoken softly against your lips before his tongue moves to trace the curve of your throat.

"Yes..." You murmur, head tipping back. "That is....true."

"Mhmm."

"Nik."

If anyone overhears the moan you let out when he kisses his way down your neck, tugging the front of your dress down with him, they don't bother you.

Lol

I need him

#shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone imagine #the hunger games au #catching fire #the hunger games

[nohoney]

k… sweetness I am in the heaviest mood for angst could u pretty pretty please write some for us 😞

angst for u darling╰(● ⋏ ●)╯

“Fuck you! Why won’t you listen to me?! I’m here, crying, and all you do is just roll your eyes at me!” You shout at him, replaying another bad fight that’s been happening too often in the past few months. His reactions have been the same lately. The impatience, the annoyance, the flippant answers he gives that only make everything worse.

Maybe you are too sensitive, maybe you ask for too much, maybe you could be more understanding of his side. But how much more understanding do you have to give your own boyfriend before he finally at least gives you some fraction of empathy that you need.

“All you ever do is cry! You find some reason to flip out on me and I have to gather you up and put you back together again! It’s exhausting!” your own boyfriend tells you.

He’s always been a little angry, always had a little bit of attitude, and he’d always snap first before he calmed down. There used to be a time that Bakugou would at least attempt to reconcile. He tried in the beginning. A part of you blames yourself, that perhaps all your neediness wore him down and he was fed up.

He was the one telling you in the beginning to always tell him what was on your mind. Now it seemed that when you finally did, there was nothing but resentment. You had gotten to used to seeing him angry at you, his red eyes glaring and his mouth set in a frown.

“You realize that you’re making a big deal of nothing right? You upset yourself and take it out on me!” Bakugou shouts, “I’m not a punching bag for when you feel like shit and I’m tired of your shitty reasons to start fights!”

Are they shitty? Are you making a big deal out of nothing again? Why is it if it’s nothing to him then it should be nothing to you? Is it so bad that you don’t like when he leaves during a fight? Is it awful that when he asks for space you blow up his phone demanding he answer you? Is it so bad that you get so angry you throw glasses against the wall because otherwise you’d punch your own mirror?

All these feelings well up and they go out of control. How many broken promises have you made to swear that you wouldn’t blow up again? Too many to count and here you were failing him again.

You say the same words whenever this happens and Bakugou sees it coming.

“You treat my feelings like they’re an inconvenience!” You tell him. You don’t feel seen or heard by him. Bakugou used to tell you that he’d rather you be honest about how you feel rather than keep quiet to keep the peace.

The routine is supposed to be that he rolls his eyes again, sits on the chair and argues a little more until you break down in more tears. He supposed to stop once you start bawling and he plays clean up. He only acknowledges afterwards that he should listen to you and he’s sorry that he’s stubborn and he’ll beg you to just calm down and swear that he’ll listen this second time.

“Just shut the fuck up!!”

And the world around you stops. The usual routine of a fight is thrown off instead of more crying, you’re stunned silent as you look at him. Bakugou has been disrespectful of your feelings before and vice versa there were times you didn’t respect his time to speak.

Never though had he ever spoken so harshly to you like this.

It worked though; you stopped crying. A part of you shrivels up inside and now you want to curl up in a ball and just hide away from the world. His hands touch your shoulders and he calls your name, trying to take back the awful words he shouted at you. “Baby, baby I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Please, don’t push me away! Baby-“ he’s pleading, not trying to be forceful on you but you shake off his touch.

Bakugou would always hug you after a fight, even if he was still angry at you and was still working off the residual. When he tries to pull you into that hug, for once you shrug out of his hold. You opt to lean against the wall for support. Lightheadedness creeps in and you feel a bit dizzy and your only goal is to make it to bed.

You don’t know what else to do except sleep away the numbness.

His words repeat over and over.

“Babe, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that!” Bakugou is frantic behind you, unsure how to handle the sudden fragility that he’s brought on you. Screaming and screaming until you cry and make up is the only thing he knows. “Please, look at me! Don’t—babe, wait! It’s fucking three in the afternoon, why are you going in bed? We’ll talk, okay! I’ll listen!”

Suddenly you’re so tired, crawling underneath the quilt without even changing out of your indoor clothes into your comfy lounge shirt and shorts. Curling up, you face away from him. Away from his side of the bed and his pillow.

And Bakugou stands helpless, his apologies meaning nothing and wishing that you would at least curse him out like you did before.

#hope it was angsty enough for you bb!! #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou angst

[kotias]

The Final Story - The Big Five

This is the final bomb I am launching for the Angst War on @goodomensafterdark It is specifically targetted at: - @gleafer - @vavoom-sorted-art - @daneecastle - @gahellhimself-blog - @lauramoon1987

And using their comics made for the war for this final magnum opus.

GIGANTIC thank you to @daneecastle for your gorgeous cover art for this final missile and for accepting that I use your Koka.

As a soundtrack to the entire piece, I propose this soundtrack from the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, with an expanded free trial thanks to which you can play through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award-winning Heavensward and Stormblood expansions up to level 70 for free with no restrictions on playtime: Niddhog's Theme - The Final Steps of Faith

Trigger warnings: death, torture, emotional anguish

Word count on Reddit: 524 words

Final word count on AO3: 3141 words

“For fuck’s sake angel, you can’t just-”

“I can’t what, Aza? Leave? Of course I can! I can, like you always are, like you’re leaving me behind every time you’re getting bored of me!”

Koka stormed out of the Fell & Co. bookshop, feeling his feet burn the concrete ground with thousands of starlights. With an enraged wave of his right hand, he caught into the weaving of the current reality and opened it, stepping into another world.

oOo

Before he finished stepping out of the portal, he heard the shrieking cries of the angel he knew as Muriel, and his heart froze in his chest. The voice carried their pain, carried their anguish and the loss they had lived before that. Lingering in the rotten air, the memories of the eyes ripped apart from all the surrounding angels assaulted him. He ran to the place he heard the screaming from and almost gagged when he heard, before he saw, the cracking of their skull and neck. He hid back behind a wall, keeping his mouth shut with his hand, panic settling in his stomach.

Hmph… useless little soul. 

The smell of celestial dust was brought to his nostrils by the air, and he slid down to the floor, petrified. His heart was beating so loudly that it took over his head, bumping and thumping against his temples, and closing his eyes made it all worse-

He heard footsteps stop right in front of him, and he opened them, only to be faced with the Supreme Archangel, looking at him like he was but a poster to be ripped away and smashed to pieces. He heard himself wheeze in panic, just as Aziraphale’s hand slid down the wall until he was crouching in front of him, giving him a smile colder than the void of Space. “Tell me, little, shivering angel…” Anything, anything, please, anything. “Why does your hair wear the colours of the demon Crowley?”

Koka stayed silent, his body entirely frozen, counting each fraction of a second passing before he would inevitably be destroyed by the being looking at him with the eyes not of a Guardian, but of an Executioner. When his left hand cradled his right cheek, he whimpered and closed his eyes, trying to muster the power he needed to get away.

The portal expanded under him, and he drowned into the floor’s opening weaves with a yelp, leaving the broken Supreme Archangel behind him and carrying with him the scalding feeling of his hand, leaving a scar by his right ear.

oOo

He fell for days without end, his breath losing the battle against the strain of the wind. It was interminable and unstoppable; his collapse was both too fast and too slow for his portal to reopen for him, if even it had been allowed to. The curse he was living through felt like a rift from Time itself. Only when he was about to land did he feel his powers in his grasp again, and he crashed painfully against a dented rock.

“Oh… oh Lord, what happen-” His mouth couldn’t finish his sentence, the shock put him in comatose.

Read the complete piece on AO3

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #aziracrow #good omens 2 #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #angst war #good omens after dark #GOAD

[catmansquad]

Special

Miguel X M!Reader (Since we're apparently drowning in an influx of Spider-woman Reader stories, and the M!Reader tag hasn't moved in a few days. Here's a Civilian Male to counterbalance it.)

Lyla had asked on three separate occasions if there was anything to do to help you. The first was likely her just taking note of how you stared out of the window, the last two had occurred at exactly a half-hour interval, and it was a toss-up in your mind as to if it had become part of her routine, or Miguel had sent her to check in on you. The view from the window was the same it always had been; fascinating, futuristic. The city had been bright and shining; sleek spires, clean streets, the gentle whizz of traffic above the pedestrians below, between lanes of hard-light. But now the skies were grey and overcast, like the weather was determined to suck all the colour out of this magnificent world. You watched the first droplets run down the glass, more appearing with each second until the downpour truly began. You were not looking for anything in particular, you saw your own reflection in the glass as much as you saw the city beyond. Your eyes trailed down your form, resting on the bracelet that was secure on your left wrist. You could feel its faint, barely perceptible hum, keeping you from violently, painfully disappearing from this beautiful world altogether. This was not your world, not your city, and certainly not your home. That honour belonged to another altogether.

You were surprised when another half-hour elapsed and Lyla did not return to check in on you again. The reason was only realized when you caught the glint of red eyes in the reflection. Huge hands gently rested on your shoulders, fingers giving a firm, reassuring squeeze. ‘¿Qué pasa, mi corazón? Lyla tells me you’ve just been… staring out the window for the past hour.’ You exhaled a shaky breath, finally tearing your eyes from the cityscape and turning to find the tall, broad form before you. Miguel moved a hand to stroke your cheek, his gaze was soft with concern. ‘… Please, tell me what’s wrong. You’re not yourself… I know it’s miserable out, but even so-‘ ‘… Why me, Miguel?’ You asked the question that froze the larger man’s voice in his throat, you met his gaze, seeing his eyes widen in concern. ‘How did I…? Why did you choose me? Out of all the worlds, and all the people you chose me.’ His crimson gaze searched your face, concerned and curious. ‘I chose you because I love you.’ His words were soft, voice low.

You did not resist as he took you by the wrist and led you from the window, to the soft white sofa that befit the minimalist, monochromatic décor his apartment so favoured. ‘I don’t see what’s so special about me, I’m just a… A regular guy. Every day you spend at your job, you see… hundreds and thousands of spectacular Spider-Women. You… Wouldn’t you be better off with one of them?’ Miguel’s gaze narrowed, just a fraction, then he leaned in and placed a soft kiss to your forehead. ‘No. Oh, they think they have a chance with me. They buzz and flutter around me like irritating gnats who tell terrible jokes. They all think they’re the funniest person in the room with tragic backstories and special circumstances….’ He paused to hum in thought, impossibly strong arms circling around your waist as he pulled you into his lap, against his broad, warm chest that filled out the familiar soft white hoodie. ‘I tell them all the same thing; I am in love with a regular, wonderful man. There is nothing that they can do to change my heart, not in this world or any other. You have my heart…’ His lips ghosted across your own as your tensions began to ease away, taking doubts with it. ‘… You always will. You don’t need to be special, because you’re the man I love. To me, you’re already the most special person in existence.’ He gave no room for reply as his lips met yours, imparting tender love and warmth where words would not suffice. You hummed in delight at his kiss, and then returned it with vigor, arms snaking slowly across his shoulders and around his neck, fulfilling that need to be closer and return the love shown.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x male reader

[heartfullofleeches]

Need more of THIS please. I. Am b e g g i n g.

[Orion (Demon lord) and Priest Reader for context]

"Priest...."

A crimson pendant hangs before your eyes; chain puppeteer by pale flesh which coos to you so sweetly from the shadows. Mutted wails flicker along its cracks; a cry etched so deeply into memory you could hear them as clear as day. Forgiveness your most sacred virtue; you held no anger nor joy at the fruits of your comrades blasphemy. A fool who sought for might greater than your all power lord's, only to be crushed beneath its heels.

To add more fuel to the fire they've started, the devil would not leave after taking their soul. Just like mankind, he had succumbed to greed and longed to corrupt at least one more of god's soldiers before he returned. A delectable feast despite its ease. One could only imagine his delight when you all up ignored him on your first meeting. His promises of riches and fame did little for you, but your passiveness of his presence did wonders for him.

Stalking you to learn your life desires lead to poor success, but something about your devotion was...charming. He soon wondered what it would be like the subject of your prayers. The one who's glory was your own. To have his name rolled off your tongue as easily and life bearing as a second breath. In an urge to satisfy these thoughts, he offered not to take your soul, but instead a prayer for a single wish of your choice. How deliciously cruel was the smile you gave him that day.

"Know they're still alive. You can saved this damned soul and lead them back to God's house if you give me us one thing."

"Hmm.." You light another candle with the wax held in hand, preparing for service as always. "I know that it is in your nature, but please do not lie to me, demon. Even if they were still living, they've choose their path and I aim unable to provide them anything but a mention in prayer."

Orion scoffs at your words. "It may be a common tactic, but I have never lied to you, Priest. My precious diamond. Their body lies in the hospital, correct? Wasting away after that awful fire, but still breathing. Just say the word and they're free to go."

"May we continue this at a later date? I have to open the doors soon."

The embers of the candles die with a gush of wind. Peeling from the cover of shadows, Orion stalks over to you and advances until your back hits the alter. It is part of what drew him in, but how he tires of this little game you play. Stop worshiping a dead idol and give your love him already. In the face of a force overpowering you in both stature and strength, you merely smile as if greeting an old friend. He pins you in place by slamming his fists into the table, sweeping its contents onto the floor as you fall back against it. More hands appeared from the crater in his spine, locking around your legs and waist.

"Don't think you can ignore me, Priest." He hisses. "I will have what I want. Your mind, your flesh, your affection - all will belong to me. Your Creator is dead. Gone. I am all that will ever remain of their former glory so you. are. mine."

A laugh breaks through the quiet halls of the church. A haunting melody, which rings to the heavens and through the devil's skull. He is unsure whether to kiss you, or shut you up and drag you back to hell. In a complete change of direction, you reach for his hand. Yours doesn't even fit round his wrist, yet he follows your command as you bring it to your lips.

"If that is the case, why are you the one who comes to me? Obsessing over the attention of someone with not even a fraction of your lifespan or power. It's as clear as day that you need me. Not the other way around. You worship me, even if you are unaware. Before anything can truly be accomplished you must accept one thing."

His hand siffens as your lips connect with it, smile played against his skin.

"I am your God."

#Kinda popped off here imo #yandere oc #yandere #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #male yandere #yandere blurb #yandere insert #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling #yandere drabble #yandere demon x reader #yandere teratophilia #yandere monster #Orion my oc

[levwrites]

Vows

A knight finds out his king has been replaced by a demon - or was he a monster all along?

This was inspired by @raineandsky's prompt.

It's a fraction of a second. The knight turns the corner in the King's chambers and sees it: something strange in the King's eyes, an elongated fleshy shape disappearing under the hem of his shirt. Immediately all his instincts are screaming in alarm.

Anyone else would dismiss it as paranoia, as a trick of the mind. But the knight has seen too many demons, faced too many, to be so naive.

"What is the matter?" the King asks, turning to fully face him. Somehow he always seems to know when the knight has something on his mind.

And usually the knight is happy to tell him. Not this time.

Fire in his veins, ice gripping his heart, the knight unsheathes his sword and levels it at the thing in the King's bed. "Who are you?"

This creature stole my King.

The demon blinks. Looks down to the sword hovering so close to his chest. When he looks up again, he has the same expression the King reserves for traitors. "Ah, a wonder you haven't found out before today."

"Where is he?" The knight still sounds calm. Too calm. "Where is the King?"

How long has he been here? Fear consumes him. How could I not notice?

"I am the King." Vague amusement slips into the creature's tone, despite the faint frown creasing his brows.

The knight grits his teeth. "You will give him back to me. I am the King's knight, I have killed countless of your kin." Threat in every word, danger dripping from them. "I'll make you rue the day you were brought into existence."

"Oh, my love." The demon rises then, calmly pushing the sword out of the way as he does. "You don't know what you are talking about."

The knight's rage turns incandescent at the pet name. He almost sinks the sword into the creature's chest, but he can't - not yet, first the monster needs to tell him where is his King. "You are in the heart of his castle. There's no way you'll make it out of here alive." His grip on the sword tightens. "Tell me where he is."

The demon tilts his head, that dark look melting away in favor of proper amusement. His eyes are dark, magnetic. For the first time there's a strange new pull in them, something actively drawing the knight in. "My castle, you mean? You swore loyalty to me, my knight. Are you taking it away, after all these years?"

With a angry shake of his head the knight plunges the sword forward, aiming to hurt but not kill. He has no time for games, not when his King's life is in danger. Desperation consumes his mind.

I failed him. I let him get captured. I didn't even notice I was sleeping in someone else's arms.

The sword is yanked to the side as the demon deflects it without blinking, used to his knight's style of combat.

"I am the King." His words are firm. "For a decade I have ruled this country. Now let me ask again, my knight: are you taking back your Vows?"

Breathing hard, the knight looks up at him, desperately seeking the truth. The King watches him back with dark, inhuman eyes.

Oh.

The sword clatters to the floor.

The knight folds to the ground, with none of his usual grace. He gets on his knees, his forehead pressed to the ground. Prostrated. He's shaking.

He's fine. He's fine, he's here.

"Sire." A word full of relief. "I am sorry, I didn't know- I am your loyal servant." Horror fills his chest. He flattens even closer to the ground. "I apologise. My actions are inexcusable."

I held a sword to his chest. I threatened him.

The demon - his King - watches him for a moment more. Then he leans down and picks up the sword, holding it surely in his hands as he did when the knight took his Vows. "Kneel."

The knight's heart falls. I failed him after all. He feels his heart contract painfully in his chest as he rises up on his knees, head still bowed. Offering his neck to the King, unprotected.

He's fine. That's what matters. He's here. He blinks, eyes burning. He's going to kill me.

"Do you refute your Vows?"

The knight would rather die. "No, Sire. I stand by them."

I don't care that he's a demon, he's my King.

"Recite them for me."

The knight still knows them by heart, even after all these years. Voice clear and firm despite the tremble that has taken to his fingers, he recites them.

The sword rises. It touches his right shoulder. His left shoulder. The point of it comes to rest on the very centre of the knight's chest, nearly above his heart.

The knight looks at his reflection on the blade. A part of him still expects it to sink into his chest. It feels like he deserves it, right now.

"I accept your Vows." The King's voice comes from above him, echoing a little with something not quite of this world. The sword is lowered. "Rise."

He forgives me.

As soon as he's on his feet again, the King reaches out and tugs him into a hug, holding him firmly against his own chest. "You were trying to do your duty," he murmurs in the knight's ear. "You have no fault."

The sword is placed back in the knight's hand, where it belongs.

#lev writes #my writing #fiction #villain x villain #villain #prompt #writing prompt #story #writers on tumblr #enemies to lovers #demon #knight

[lilyevanstan1325]

❤️ Built For This World ❤️

Chapter 1

I drag myself with difficulty to the edge of the long road that stands in front of me.

My senses are on alert as I move slowly but decisively towards the trees on my right.

I feel too exposed here, the trees will give me a little more shelter from prying eyes and teeth ready to bite me.

I blink violently as the sunlight blinds me, burning my clear eyes.

Mum always told me "Clear eyes are delicate, always protect them"

And I, who was only five years old, snorted impatiently while, with a very sweet smile, she placed a pair of sunglasses on my nose and then kissed the tip making me giggle.

I have always loved my green eyes just because they are the same as my mother's, they are the only thing that reminds me that she existed.

I have nothing left of her except an old photo, creased and worn by the tears I shed over it.

Every time I see my reflection, if I concentrate hard enough, I can see her in my features, I can pretend for a few moments that she is there in front of me.

Our resemblance is the only thing that constantly reminds me that she was a real part of a life that today no longer belongs to me.

Emerald eyes.

That's how dad called her.

I can still hear his voice as he whispers those sweet words to my mother.

I sigh thinking about how much they loved each other.

They have always been my example of true, pure and strong love.

They are what I aspire to or rather what I dreamed for myself before.

Now there is nothing left, only death and despair.

I look around looking for a slightly shadier spot but without great results.

The heat is increasingly unbearable, especially at this time of the afternoon.

Not that I have a watch with me but from the position of the sun in the sky I'm pretty sure it was a few hours after noon.

I breathe deeply and the hot air burns my nose, my lungs.

The heat burns my throat, corroding every clear thought.

Damn…

I didn't know Georgia was so damn hot.

I mean, even though I am walking in the depths of the forest, the sun gives me no respite, it infiltrates the branches and leaves with unprecedented violence.

It's like it wants to constantly remind me “Hey bitch I'm here, I know where you are.You can't escape me"

The jeans I'm wearing fit like a second skin, making me sweat even more profusely while the white t-shirt I'm wearing has noticeable, and if I had been in the company of other human beings, embarrassing patches of sweat near the armpits and along the entire back.

Let's say the smell I give off isn't the best.

For a fraction of a second my vision blurs, slowing down my already limping and clumsy pace.

The sounds around me become muffled.

I no longer hear the cicadas singing in the heat of this desolate and cursed land.

Without realizing it, I stop and rest my hand against the rough trunk of a tree, the bark scratches my palm but I barely feel the pain.

Nowadays I feel numb to everything.

I no longer feel anything except the inexorable passage of time.

Forty-two days, I think as my vision comes and goes, repeatedly showing me white points of light on my black boots.

That's how long I've been wandering.

Forty-two damn days.

On my long journey to Atlanta I encountered few living people but many, too many, dead.

Fucking biters.

I tried to keep a low profile, only killing them when I really couldn't help myself.

My only weapons are my trusty knife and a machete found in an old abandoned car near Charlotte.

As for the living, well...in that case I avoided them as anyone would avoid STI.

Or the biters.

It depends on your point of view.

But the thing that amazes me is that I have never met his men.

Or him.

Maybe they didn't think I would run away south.

Or maybe they never looked for me.

Why should he commit his men, in his opinion his most precious resources, to look for me?

Maybe there was a time when he would have turned the world upside down to find me but in the last few weeks he had grown colder.

It wasn't him anymore.

Without feelings.

No hugs, no sweet words.

Only barked orders, half-hearted phrases.

As if I were another one of his stupid men and not the most important woman in his life, as he used to call me.

It is as if he had convinced himself that his love for me made him weak in the eyes of others, as if love me made him vulnerable and therefore less credible or reliable as a leader.

I feel my legs give out, my knees tremble, forcing me to kneel on the hard ground.

I bring the hand that isn't busy gripping the tree to my head, as if this gesture could ease my pain.

The same excruciating pain in my head that hasn't left me for days now seems to explode with ferocity, as if I suddenly found myself hanging upside down and all the blood was draining towards my brain, giving me the not so pleasant sensation of my eyes being forced out of my eye sockets.

In the midst of this ocean of pain I can hear the cawing of a crow that echoes throughout the forest, making me jump violently, making my heartbeat skyrocket.

I feel it beating so hard that I have the almost mathematical certainty that at any moment it could break through my ribs and come out of my chest.

The crow flies away with a rustle of wings, continuing on its way unaware of having almost caused me a cardiac arrest.

Another dizziness takes me by surprise, making me lose my grip on the tree and finding myself on all fours, my stomach shaking with violent spasms while empty retching fills my dry and sore throat.

I know what's happening.

I'm aware of it.

The problem is that I'm fucking scared of it.

I can't accept it.

After all, who could do it?

Who would be able to accept their death as if nothing had happened?

I feel my eyes burning but no tears appear.

My crooked mouth in a grip of perpetual pain burns, the dozens of small wounds that cover it bleed with every small movement.

I've learned to live with hunger, it's not as difficult as it seems.

The last time I think I ate was about two or three days ago.

I had found a small cabin in the woods, I think it was an old hunter's lodge.

With only a few hours of light ahead of me, I had decided to stop and set a small trap near my refuge for that night.

Maybe I would catch a disgusting possum or if I was really lucky a rabbit.

But instead, the next morning, the only thing I found was a little mouse.

Small, defenseless, gasping desperately with his little paw stuck in the trap.

He squealed forcefully, fighting for his life.

I still remember the tears of disgust at what I was about to do but it was for my own life.

For my survival.

I felt pathetic feeling sorry for a small and insignificant ball of fur but I think I saw myself in him.

Too small and defenseless for this world that is now too cruel and cowardly, destined to succumb but not therefore willing to give up.

I believe my sleep deprivation played a major role in my little mental breakdown.

An hour later I was sitting in front of a small fire, my hair glued to my neck from sweat and the remains of that little warrior on the ground in front of me.

“Mors tua vita mea” I found myself whispering while looking at those little bones.

Both of us, the little mouse and I, had only one mission, survive and there would be only one winner.

The failure of the little rodent guaranteed the achievement of my goal...surviving a few more days.

A rustle in the distance brings me back to the present.

I try to use every ounce of strength to concentrate all my energy on lifting my head, to at least try to understand where the noise is coming from, but by now dehydration is taking over, making me weak and exposed.

Vulnerable.

And in this world if you are vulnerable you are dead.

I lower my head in defeat, my forehead almost touching the dry leaves on the ground.

The smell of mold and musk tickling my nostrils.

My fingers dig into the ground with anger and frustration.

The sun continues to burn the back of my neck undisturbed, dulling my pale skin.

Some dirty strands escape from my bun and stick to my sweat-beaded forehead.

I am thirsty.

I'm literally dying of thirst.

And honestly it's a horrible death.

I finished my last water about five days ago.

For the next two days, after the end of that precious liquid, I drank my own urine twice.

I still remember the feeling of disgust, the tears rolling down my cheeks.

My head screaming at me not to do it while my body begged me otherwise.

I had to do it, I had no choice...

But then between the sweat and the lack of any other liquid even the urine disappeared and now I haven't drunk for almost 48 hours and my body can't take it anymore.

It's shutting down.

I am slowly and surely losing all functions.

Like I'm falling but I'm doing it in slow motion, I know I'll crash eventually and it'll be horrible but I can't do anything to help it.

I'm there, sitting in the front row watching my end.

Cool.

That rustling again.

I would like to get up, my instinct tells me to check what it is, to fight, but my body no longer responds to me.

It's like my brain has dissociated itself from everything else and told me “Hell no baby, I don't give a fuck, I'm done.Now it's your business"

Another round of retching knocks me out, forcing me to lie down on the ground, melting against it, with the dry leaves as a pillow.

I hear footsteps and I can't understand if they belong to a human being or to a biter.

The sounds are confusing, like everything else after all.

Thoughts become incoherent, and reality mixes with memories of the past.

“Come on my little girl, don't give up”

Is my daddy's voice?

The almost musical cadence of his voice makes my heart skip a beat.

Or is it just the palpitations due to dehydration?

Then another voice…

“Summer?Where are you my dear?"

Mom?

It's you?

Where are you?

Rolling onto my side and using the last of my strength I lie down onto my back.

Behind my closed eyelids I can perceive the intensity of the sun.

The sounds in my ears don't make sense, they come and go garbled and distorted.

Words, angry growls, whispers.

I believe my time has finally come.

The only regret?

Knowing that I came close, so close.

Atalanta is only a few tens of miles away and dying like this, devoured by some horde or simply devoured by my own thirst, sucks.

Dying sucks.

It's not how I imagined it.

It's certainly not like in the movies, that's for sure.

There is no last soft sigh, nothing romantic.

No cathartic moments.

No understanding of the meaning of life.

There is no flashback, no images of your life flashing before you.

Indeed...every breath is a stab, a slow torture that consumes your soul.

First, it fucks your brain and then he takes everything else.

An agony without grace.

Dying is not easy.

But despite everything I will die happy knowing that I tried in every way.

I tried to survive tooth and nail but in the end this world got the better of me.

A lone tear drips from my left eye.

Then the darkness.

Here, today, my journey towards a better life ends.

My run towards the freedom ends.

Please comment, share and rate ❤️

🔥 Masterlist 🔥

Tag list

@deansapplepie

#fanfiction #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x reader #daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc #fanfiction recommendation #fanfic #norman reedus #builtforthisworld #daryl smut #daryl dixon smut #norman reedus smut #twd fanfiction #twd family #twd fandom #twd fic

[letterstomonkey]

I am Second

I am a hearth first and a threshold second.

I am a fire first and an Irish exit second.

I emanate warmth at first, with one foot crossing the threshold from the first posed question-

I’m gone in a second.

I didn’t know what a hearth was,

Until I knew, that blood too creates a spectacle of art upon my face,

I know a fireplace does not insinuate a warm place,

and an audience doesn’t imitate the heart-to-heart I always chase.

Artists don’t know anything, except for how to create space

To perceive and be perceived;

I am an artist second, and first

A literary receptacle, or

A candlelit canticle, or

A memory semantical; I am

A digression indigestible.

I’m fascinated by perspective, popcorn and rare pennies,

My grandma’s orange lilies, and your lack of spatial awareness around me.

I named a garden after myself, and I damned every root and bud yet to bloom to Eternal Internal suffering.

I read aloud my words, then cleanse my teeth with antifreeze,

I bake inedible pastries for the sake of constant fleeting company.

Fringe jacket sleeves depict perfectly

my fear of touching what is forbidden, not realizing until it is too late.

I love Christmas, for I specialize in giving my gifts away recklessly

Abandoning myself,

And I am at home because I know how to do something right when I am second.

I still need permission to enter a room first, I beg for mercy over every mess I make.

I keep my blinds closed, wondering how to be perceived, comfortably.

I keep my door closed, wondering

Who will be the first to leave with the best of me?

If my words are my favorite part of me, then

What am I worth when they’re working against me?

I never wanted to become wild, when

I was seeking forgiveness before permission,

I was spoken to like a child as

My seeking acceptance gave way to remission.

I’m a teacher’s pet, and I’m not sorry for that.

I love learning and I hate being my biggest distraction.

I was a teacher’s pet until they introduced me to fractions.

I wanted to be a teacher until they all

Reduced me to a distraction wearing jean shorts.

They spoke their intentions, and

Eventually I learned to savor such adult attention.

Why do we keep pretending to care about intentions?

How they litter tainted, moral principle remnants?

I still don’t know if I have ever been a good friend.

I have yet to remember not to reach for bread and butter across the dinner table

When I eat with my elbows on the table, I think of my grandmother,

how I love her without needing anything from her,

how I have come to accept people that do not accept me.

Morally obligated intentions haunt my ancestry, but lightning struck my family tree.

It ends with me.

#poems and quotes #poetry #poets corner #poets on tumblr #poetic #prose poem #spilled ink #original poem #book quote #daily poem #women poets #poemsofinstagram #poemsbyme #poets community #spilled poetry #new poets society #poets and writers #female poets #new poets corner #tumblr poets #poetry on tumblr #poetry writing #poets of tumblr #young poets #slam poets on tumblr #slam poetry #slam poem #short poetry #tumblr poetry #love poems

[sagau-my-beloved]

Ah this is weirdly specific and ended up really long (sorry about that 😭) but i had a thought

In the sagau venti coming to the real world and living with us, how would he react if at first reader was really affectionate and excited to see him because they like him a lot and want to show him all the stuff in our world but then they slowly get upset and slightly depressed when they realize (or think) Venti's probably only interested in them because they are this so called creator of teyvat? They try to hide that something is wrong but then open up about their feelings when Venti questions them too much?

The Struggle Of Living Up To An Expectation

Finally an angst request >:), also, don't be sorry I absolutely adore descriptive requests like this, also decided to do this in drabble format because hurt/comfort just hits harder that way

Warnings: general Sagau, angst, hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort, I guess a small bit of codependency, some self deprecation

-

You were ecstatic. Shocked, but ecstatic. Maybe questioning your own sanity a bit, but ecstatic.

Venti, the character you loved the most, the character you felt happiest around, the character you constantly wished for more content of, was right in front of you.

It took a second for it to fully register.

You stood there in shock, mouth agape at the green cladded figure in front of you, a nervous smile forming at your deafening silence.

"Your grace? Are you that surprised to see me?" It was spoken both as a joke and a genuine question, you had yet to give any form of reaction other than just staring intently in complete awe, it was really starting to worry him.

"You're Venti, you're in front of me—"

"I am indeed both of those things your grace, what a keen eye you have~" He shifted his weight nervously, desperately wishing for you to give him some sort of positive or negative sign.

That sign did in fact come, rather suddenly at that, in the form of you pulling him into a tight hug and tearing up slightly.

He was in heaven, this was it, the way he wanted to go out.

He felt your arms around him, and it only took a second for him to compensate with his own.

It was better than any reaction he had ever expected, the complete onset of happiness he got from something as simple as a hug really was astounding.

"Your grace, I'm so happy you recognize me! I was so worried you would be afraid of seeing me here."

You immediately push him back, arms on his shoulders as you gave him a wide smile, completely filled with enthusiasm.

"How could I ever be afraid of you? I can't believe this is happening, you have no idea how long I've admired you!" your eyes shined as you spoke, he couldn't help but look at you in complete awe.

You? Admired him???

Ok, he had to be dead, something went wrong with the portal and now he's in the afterlife, in a place which his creator loved him even a fraction of the amount he loved you.

Venti laughed, a genuine smile dawning on his features as he immediately pulled you into another hug.

That all happened about a month ago, Venti explained that you were his God, a being above even the Archons. This knowledge struck a certain chord that you couldn't quite place at the time and decided to brush off.

Of course you didn't believe him then, it was hard to say you really believed him even now, but he was always so genuine about it, he believed it as much as he believed in his own existence.

Venti had wanted you to go back to Teyvat with him, and you really did want to, but as of right now it was completely out of the question. Running away from your current life wasn't an option, you would worry too many people.

He was a bit reluctant to accept your answer, instead postponing the inevitable day that you would return with him.

You offered him your house freely, as long as he wanted to stay you would be happy to host.

The time spent with him was never unpleasant, you did have to occasionally remind yourself that he was real, he was there next to you.

His enthusiasm towards you only help enhance your own enthusiasm, it was almost as if your energies bounced off of each other.

You loved explaining things about how your world worked too, there was no feeling in the world that could match watching his expression of wonder, the way his eyes sparkled.

But the constant use of titles did start to wear on you, it was almost as if he could never directly address you without using some sort of formal name. It didn't help that every time he did you felt a sense of uneasiness, one that took quite a while to place exactly why you were feeling it.

It dawned on you one day when you were lying in your bed with him. He was half asleep and rested his head on your lap, occasionally choosing to just open his eyes and stare at you in wonder, as he had been frequently doing ever since he arrived.

You took the opportunity to freely play with his hair, you liked how soft it was.

"You're so amazing you know, so divine. I love you more than the world itself."

You couldn't tell if it was just the delirium from his sleepy state that caused him to speak like that, but it didn't really matter, that was when you realized what was truly wrong.

He thought of you as something that you weren't, he loved you for something that you never did.

That event spiralled, it stayed lurking in the back of your mind, brought to the foreground every time he said any sort of praise in your direction. Which was rather often.

He loved you because he thought you a God, the God above all other Gods, the creator, when you were really just a normal human.

Would he have ever loved you at all if he knew that? Did this count as a form of leading him on? Would he no longer like you when he finally figured it out for himself...

Thoughts like that kept you up at night, tossing and turning before simply getting up and choosing to sleep on the couch, away from that suffocating room, away from this role you felt had been forced on you.

Venti picked up on your misery, he could tell something was off before you even realized it yourself.

He tried to help without directly asking what the problem was, tried to be more affectionate than usual, shower you in more praise, completely oblivious that this was only worsening the problem.

You became more withdrawn, more dismissive, less likely to believe anything he said that even remotely resembled something positive towards you.

Venti finally had enough when you managed to evade him for an entire day, it was heartbreaking to watch, he blamed himself for it completely. It must have been something he did wrong and he couldn't stand being in the dark any longer.

You were sitting on the couch as he stood in front of you, you tried very hard to look anywhere but him as he stared directly at you.

"My love... Why have you been avoiding me?" his voice was soft, but it lacked the usual free spirited and childish demeanor it always held, he sounded way more serious.

"Have I been avoiding you?" You didn't want to lie to him, of course you had been avoiding him, but you didn't want to admit it, to acknowledge it in any way.

"Please, don't brush this off."

It was uncharacteristic to see him acting like this, it worried you, made you feel worse about how you had been acting.

"It's really not anything you need to be concerned about, just personal stuff."

He almost scoffed at that, "You're hurting, something has been troubling you, it's killing me to watch."

You wanted to respond with a snide remark, something stupid and cliche like 'then stop watching', but that wasn't fair to him, he hadn't knowingly done anything wrong.

You were cracking under his stare too, feeling the intensity of it without even looking at him.

Was he angry with you?

It was all too much, this confrontation, all the thoughts you had been harboring for the past few weeks which only seemed to grow with each passing day.

You were overwhelmed, this was overwhelming, and you couldn't help it when tears started pricking at the corners of your eyes, you couldn't stop them from flowing down your face as you stifled a sob.

Venti's face contorted into a panic, panic and concern, all traces of the serious expression gone.

"Hey, my love, please, please tell me what's wrong."

He chose to sit next to you on the couch, trying to take your hand in his own.

The action only caused you to cry harder, trying your best to turn your body away from him so he wouldn't see you in such a pathetic state.

His eyebrows furrowed at that and he quickly moved his hands to the back of your head and your shoulder, pulling you into him.

You didn't resist, instead taking the opportunity to bury your face in his shirt as you continued to cry.

You wanted so badly to stop, to just compose yourself, there was no way you could live up to his expectations of a God in this state. But the harder you tried, the more repressed thoughts kept flooding your head.

He continued to just hold you, occasionally brushing his hands through your hair, his expression not losing any of the concern it previously held.

You finally started to calm down slightly, your sobs reduced to only sniffles.

"Do you feel any better my love? I really don't want to push you, but keeping this inside you is obviously doing nothing but harm."

You let out a soft nod after you pulled away, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"I... I'm not a God."

That's all this was about?

He waited for you to continue before making any remarks.

"You think I'm a God, and you love me because you think I'm a God, but I'm not a God, I'm just human."

He almost felt his heart break, did you really think he wouldn't simply adore you if you weren't his creator?

He waited a minute longer, allowing you the opportunity to expand upon what you said, it was only after you continued looking away from him that he decided to speak.

"I fully believe that you are the creator, I came here because of that."

You could feel your heart sink at his words, practically on the verge of tears again.

"But," he continued, "If I was proven wrong right this very second, absolutely nothing would change."

Venti moved his hand to your face, cupping it, trying to provide some sense of comfort through touch.

"I love you so much, I adore the person you are. I don't think I could live without you at this point, I would still want you to come with me, or to allow me to stay here with you."

You glanced at him for a second, seeing his green eyes filled with overflowing amounts of sincerity, a soft smile adorned his features.

"I feel almost as if I'm tricking you somehow, I can't stand the idea of disappointing you when you find out I'm not anything special." Honesty leaked from your words, it was a harsh truth that you thoroughly believe would come to pass.

Venti's face completely fell at that.

"Not special? Everything in the world is special, and you are one of the most special things in the world. You could never disappoint me by being yourself, please believe that."

He wanted to tell you that he loved you a million times over, sing it from the rooftops, repeat it over and over until you were forced to believe him.

"I came here for the creator of Teyvat, and found something so much better, you are better than I could have ever imagined."

You were starting to feel a bit flustered at his word, choosing to hide it by hugging him close again and covering your face. He gladly accepted it, resting his head on top of yours, he loved the way you felt against him, how much your bodies seemed to fit together perfectly.

It didn't matter if you were the creator or otherwise, he was made just for you, and you were never going to be able to get rid of him.

"I'm sorry for not saying anything..."

He didn't feel as though he could melt at your words any more than he already had, but here he was, practically a puddle at how vulnerable you sounded.

Whether you liked it or not, he was now eternally bound to you, nothing else could even come close to changing that.

He would be happy to remind you as many times as you needed.

#genshin impact #sagau #yandere genshin x reader #genshin x reader #genshin venti #yandere genshin au #venti x reader #hurt/comfort #genshin angst

[kirbyprompts]

𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐏𝐓 𝟐

from critical role's the mighty nein episodes 34-71. feel free to change prompts as you see fit!

❝do they know you?❞

❝do they check weapons at the door, or anything like that?❞

❝i want to see how strong you’ve gotten.❞

❝well, how do i look?❞

❝i like myself just the way i am.❞

❝call this your home so long as you’d like to stay.❞

❝do you still love them?❞

❝love is a funny thing.❞

❝can you recommend any bookstores here?❞

❝hey, crime boss, are you my dad?❞

❝i don’t want people to know i’m still alive.❞

❝you’re asking a lot of questions for a person i just met.❞

❝i think you could snap me like a twig.❞

❝i think, perhaps, it’s destiny. do you believe in destiny?❞

❝i don’t have any dreams at night. is that worrisome?❞

❝it is funny how you keep showing up like a bad penny.❞

❝please don’t kill me.❞

❝i didn’t expect you to come in here and slaughter my contacts.❞

❝who were you supposed to deliver this to?❞

❝you’re not afraid of dying, are you?❞

❝is life always this directionless?❞

❝sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt you the worst.❞

❝out of idle curiosity why have you been trying to butter me up?❞

❝i thought i had you figured out.❞

❝we’re about to be boarded by fucking pirates.❞

❝i am trying to process this as quickly as i can.❞

❝is there food in this bitch?❞

❝do you want to control the sea?❞

❝how many dudes you think you killed?❞

❝how many fingers am i holding up?❞

❝get out of there!❞

❝these days i’ve spent with you are the most exciting of my entire life.❞

❝this was the worst day of my life.❞

❝i’m getting used to the idea that this wouldn’t be a test if it was easy.❞

❝i think the world is shaping you into something important and i want to make sure that you get to wherever you need to be.❞

❝okay, i feel like shit, so i’m going to bed.❞

❝what was your first kiss like?❞

❝don’t fire on them unless they fire on us, you understand?❞

❝sometimes you can be nice to people too.❞

❝you better be sure this is something you want to die for.❞

❝if you’re lying to me, i’ll slit your throat.❞

❝pleasure to meet you. i have the feeling you’re having a really bad day.❞

❝just keep your mouth shut for like 30 damn seconds.❞

❝this is very dangerous to give to you, but you’re the perfect person to have it.❞

❝i was born to be a cannoneer.❞

❝have you ever sacrificed anything in order to achieve a greater goal?❞

❝i was alone for a long time and ran from everything.❞

❝i feel like a fool much of the time.❞

❝i could fill a book with what i don’t know.❞

❝what if we can never go home?❞

❝this is the best plan we’ve ever had!❞

❝i’m going to summon a demon.❞

❝no, really! she was a really bad person before we killed her and everyone on the boat!❞

❝i’m not an asshole. i’m asshole adjacent.❞

❝of course it’s minimalizing. have you met me? everything i do is minimizing.❞

❝do you ever feel like your relationship with your cat is hindering building stronger relationships with human people?❞

❝i understand when i’m being condescended to! even when i’m drunk!❞

❝hey. sorry for being a dick. bye.❞

❝i go where the wind goes.❞

❝yeah, i’m not a happy guy.❞

❝that’s what we do, we seek out active doom.❞

❝to be perfectly honest, yes, there were quite a few people chasing me.❞

❝best not to call attention.❞

❝i will so gladly introduce you to my cat because i’m very fond of him and love for people to meet him.❞

❝we’re running! it’s bad!❞

❝it was nice to meet you and nearly die next to you.❞

❝i’ve always heard that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but i feel pretty fucking weak right now.❞

❝i think i oddly feel the most comfortable when things are a fraction away from going terribly wrong.❞

❝my mother was a big believer in the buddy system.❞

❝got to be careful with what risks you take, but without risks, you’re never going to get what you want.❞

❝in my loneliness i just turned to anger.❞

❝sometimes you’re running towards something so fast that you can’t remember why you’re running in the first place.❞

❝i get nervous to get close to people because i feel like i lose them.❞

❝i’m either very unlucky or cursed, and i don’t believe in luck.❞

❝don’t forget me. i won’t forget you.❞

❝if you hear the signal, run. you remember the signal? it’s ‘AHHHHHHH'❞

❝don’t turn evil, okay? but if you do, i’ll still be your friend. i mean, it’s okay. you know, some people are evil. it’s okay. just don’t turn evil to me.❞

❝sometimes it sounds like you don’t have much love for home.❞

❝we need to know the ones we love.❞

❝i guess it’s easier to pretend like you don’t care.❞

❝you would do anything for love.❞

❝i would protect you.❞

❝do we look like tourists?❞

❝that could have gone much worse.❞

❝why does it feel like everyone here is hitting on me, but also insulting me at the same time?❞

❝what? why are you looking at me like that?❞

❝i operate alone. that’s how i survived this long.❞

❝i’m a danger to you by proximity, as much as you are a danger to me.❞

❝how was i supposed to get better? you fucking left!❞

❝now, i see great possibility in you. you have potential. but you need to listen to me and think before you act.❞

❝your rash, intense behavior will be your downfall.❞

❝no one has to see what you’re doing is good, as long as it is good.❞

❝i do not do this for accolades. i do this because i serve the purpose to provide a better world for those who. cannot defend themselves.❞

❝i can’t tell your morning voice apart from your just-almost-died voice.❞

❝if you ask, the worst they can do is say no, and throw you in prison, and you’ll never see your family again.❞

❝we are exiles in every sense of the word.❞

❝you made the right call. i’m very proud of you.❞

❝what would you have done differently?❞

❝for the first time in a really long time, i feel hopeful.❞

❝now that i’m with you, i don’t know how i could be apart from you.❞

❝oh boy, i don’t understand anything that’s going on.❞

❝i trust your heart. it’s in a good place.❞

❝i think you might be wrong. i can’t say it with 100% certainty, but you might be.❞

❝i had a very bad dream.❞

❝i think i’ve done something very bad and i don’t remember.❞

❝have i done something terrible?❞

❝i am talking to you as one accomplished liar to another.❞

❝this is our family now and we are looking out for eachother.❞

❝we can remake ourselves into something better.❞

❝those things were fucking scary as fuck!❞

❝it’s a tomb with an exit. that’s the worst kind.❞

❝maybe we shouldn’t go in. let’s just go back.❞

❝i know you lost your family. we can be your new one.❞

❝i’m just doing my best.❞

❝i’ve never seen you get scared.❞

❝are you feeling scared? you should. this is terrifying.❞

❝try what you want. you won’t break me.❞

❝your life hangs by a thread. what have you to lose?❞

❝some of us get tired of macabre fairytales. so you enjoy your mouthful of lies when they choke it out of you.❞

❝we’re being sneaky! stop talking so loud!❞

❝i’m confused. do you want me to stay or not?❞

❝is this conversation appropriate to have in a hot tub?❞

❝it’s been really hard trying to figure out who’s just a traitor and who’s an actual demon.❞

❝all i can give you is my loyalty.❞

#sentence starters #rp memes #rp sentence starters #rp prompts #rp meme #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts

[beardedjoel]

Hi, don’t know if you take requests, but I just found out that my husband’s been cheating on me our whole 7 year relationship with multiple women and had an affair for the last 6 years, texting her while I was giving birth to our son. I’d love to read something about revenge or something about another man (Joel lol) healing me and being really nice to me, cause I could never do that in real life and I need something 😩

anon, my heart is going out to you soooo so much right now! that's just awful and words can't express how sorry i am that you're going through all of this. i hope you know that you without a doubt 10000% deserve better and everything good from a partner, someone who cherishes you like you deserve. i’m sorry i took a while to respond to this, but i wanted to write a little something for you. and if anyone has any further recs for those requests anon mentioned please drop them!

it’s not much, but it’s just straight up softness and goodness from joel, i hope it makes you feel even a fraction better ❤️ please reach out to me if you want or need to talk!

reassurance

word count: 778

summary: a tiny sweet moment of validation and love from joel after your anxiety takes over. pure fluff 💛

You hear him before you feel him, attempting to be quiet coming up the stairs to not wake you one second before he wants to. But you’d already been tossing and turning, replaying the previous night in your head, the anxiety that kept flaring up every time you tried to recall the words that started the argument in the first place and coming up short.

You’re steeling yourself for heartbreak and you don’t know why. Joel has never been one to threaten leaving you, to act like he was about to give up on you. It had been a stupid argument about dishes - something so benign, so remotely not worth either of your time, and yet you worried. That this was the end, the second things get hard or they lose interest in you. You’ve been hurt too many times before to not take that well known pathway in your mind and start spiraling.

Your eyes are still closed when you feel the flutter of his lips on your cheek, as gentle as he can be with all the glorious scruff he has on his chin and cheeks.

Your eyes slowly open, and you know they look sad, worried, tired from a lack of sleep. You’d settled the argument well enough, both of you seeming to laugh it off in the moment, but the dark hours of the night had sent your fear biting at you again.

“What’s this, baby? Why the face?” Joel asks, seeming shocked to find you anything other than smiling up at him as you do most mornings.

You instantly tear up, unable to help it after hours of fussing, a carousel of negativity turning through your mind. Your head shakes and you turn it away, trying to blink away the wetness pooling under your eyes.

“Baby? Oh, come here…” he coos, laying down next to you and wrapping you in his arms. It’s warm, comforting, smelling just as he always does - home. “Is it about last night? Honey you know I moved on from it right after, no hard feelings,” he explains, seeming to start understanding your lingering anxiety.

“I- it’s just so stupid -“ you start, trying not to completely breakdown.

“Now you know we don’t say that word about ourselves around here, yeah?” Joel reminds you, a promise you’d made to him to not be so hard on yourself.

You sniffle, nodding and finally turning your head towards him. “Just… feels silly to ask b-but…” You let out a tiny sob, all the pent up emotion finally breaking through. “Do you love me still? Do you - do you want to be with me?”

Joel sighs, a compassionate sound of sympathy that makes you cry harder. His hand is on your cheek, making sure you keep looking right into his eyes, so sincere and full of care for you.

“I love you so much it’s fuckin’ crazy. And I know you get in your head ‘bout things, but angel, you’re my everythin’, an’ I hope you don’t ever question my love for you, yeah?”

You give him a watery smile, the validation like a balm to your soul. Sometimes all you need when your mind starts to play tricks on you is for Joel to bring you back down to earth. “Yeah… y-you’re right…” you nod as he wipes some of the tears off your cheeks. “I love you, too. I’m sorry…”

“No sorrys, you did the right thing by askin’ if that’s what you needed. Only wish you’d have asked me sooner if you were so worked up.” He shakes his head a little, wishing he’d known somehow, been able to comfort you as soon as you needed it. It makes your heart swell a little at how much he cares, how badly he’d wanted to help you when you hadn’t always been offered that in your past. Rough around the edges, but always a big softie at heart - that was the Joel Miller you fell in love with. “Promise me… next time you’ll do it, mkay? Even if you gotta wake me up in the middle ‘f the night to ask. I wanna be there for you, baby.”

Your smile grows, the tears slowly subsiding as you snuggle into his warmth. How you got so lucky to have someone so patient, kind, and understanding is beyond you a lot of the time. There have been days you wondered if you deserved love like this, or questioned if it would ever come along. But here in Joel’s embrace, the sunny morning spilling in through the windows, a hand running through his bedhead, you find that you don’t wonder at all.

“I promise.”

#ask #drabble

[atzfilm]

murphy’s law (m); 2/5

wc/pairing; 16.5, san/reader, ?/f.reader

genre; a/f/s, soulmate!au, alien!au, e2f2l

summary; according to murphy's law, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Black holes circle each other until they collide and merge, a cataclysm so fierce, sends ripples soaring through the fabric, crossing thousands of kilometers within a fraction of a second, leaving behind a wave on the space-time continuum. That’s the simplest way you can describe meeting him. And yet, even that is an understatement.

note: please read the warnings! There are a lot of sensitive topics mentioned, even if it is just in passing. warnings under cut

masterlist

⬅️ previous  | next ➡️

content: death, sex work (vaguely mentioned), politics, arranged marriage, insults, slave labor, misogynistic undertones, anxiety, eating/starvation, future smut (next chapter), tension, attempted murder, blood, injuries

CHAPTER TWO:

The days pass by quick enough for you to finally get a message from Yeosang. Apparently, Chan is visiting you. After about two weeks of your stay, he’s finally upheld his promise to see you. Before you entered this manor, you would’ve been grateful to see a familiar face. But now the thought only seems to make you anxious.

“Why am I feeling a sense of impending doom when he’s my friend?” You mumble to your empty room, leaning against the window sill. Your eyes are on the road to the manor, fingers picking at the pants you wear. San did persuade you to put on form fitting clothing, insisting that it would be better to walk around with. And he wasn’t wrong, you do feel more comfortable this way. But you just hate that they spend anything on you. It makes you feel indebted to them, when you’d rather just struggle on your own.

The front gates open, and you swallow deeply, picking at a thread on your pants. The vehicle is classier than the cart you arrived on, a sleek black car. Your eyes flick to the front door, watching as Yunho stands there. His expression isn’t the usual grin you see, instead, a solemn look. Almost frowning. You wonder if they’ve ever spoken after the surprise of you. Seonghwa stands to his right, a small smile on his lips. Ever so friendly, even with those wild thoughts going on in his head. His gaze suddenly moves up to you, eyes narrowing. You match it, steady. You’re not sure what he’s trying to say with his eyes, but it’s enough for you to look away.

The car opens, and you see Chan coming out. He has a wide grin on his face as he walks to them. The guards start to stand next to him but he waves them off, coming up alone. He doesn’t wear his commander’s uniform, in more casual military wear. It only makes you more suspicious.

“Coming in civilian wear? He couldn’t give us the slightest respect?” A deep voice next to you makes you jump. You turn, Yeosang standing there. His arms are crossed, barely a foot away from you as he takes in the scene below. His wear seems more formal; a vest and dress top, along with black slacks. “You are good friends, yes?”

“We’re friends, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say good. I’ve known him since I was a kid,” you say. Chan shakes Yunho’s hand, words exchanged between one another. “He’s always been a bit carefree. I wouldn’t hold that against him.”

“You wouldn’t? But didn’t you just say you felt doom?”

You turn to him, eyes narrowing. “Were you eavesdropping?”

“You spoke aloud. I was just wondering who was in here with you,” he shrugs. “Nevertheless, I was instructed to take you down to the parlor while they speak to each other in Yunho’s office. Apparently the commander has been eagerly awaiting his chance to speak to you again. Since you are friends.” He seems to say the last word with malice. “Follow me.”

“I know how to get there, Yeosang.”

“Yes, but there’s guests in our home now, Peacemaker. And we know little about them. So you can see me as a guard. We can’t have them messing with any of our residents,” he smiles, bowing slightly. Even after your insistence that he’d not do it, he hasn’t broken the habit. You walk out your room first, Yeosang following close behind.

The hallways seem to be more active, staff walking in and out, guards at almost every corner. “Do you do this every time a human enters your home?”

He shakes his head. “Only one of higher status. We have to make sure there’s no one entering places they shouldn’t. Your room is guarded now too, once we left. I believe Mingi is somewhere around it. He’s been told to. As you might know, he doesn’t get along that well with humans. He’s despised them for a while.”

“That’s why he’s blatantly ignored me,” you say, rolling your eyes. “After that first day, I rarely see him around. Wooyoung too.”

“Ah well, Wooyoung is not something he chose himself. He’s been instructed to stay away from you.”

You stop walking. “Is he really that much of a danger?”

“He’s not a danger, Peacemaker. He just doesn’t know how to gauge his limits with humans. Mavians. Any creature, really. That’s why he has a wing to himself in our manor with special caretakers. But now is not the time to discuss him. We are at the parlor, and there’s more humans with open ears lingering around. I’d rather them not gossip about us.”

You open the parlor door, stepping inside. You haven’t been here since your encounter with Wooyoung, Mingi and San. The air feels less stifling now, windows you didn’t notice before open and wide, curtains tied back. You sit on the lone seat next to the fireplace, Yeosang moving to sit on the loveseat right next to you. He leans forward, taking a bite of the apple sitting in the fruit bowl.

“Will they be long?” You ask, and Yeosang shrugs.

“Yunho is a talker, but I’m sure the commander would rush him enough so you don’t have to wait that long to see him. I’m sure you’ve been dying to see a familiar face.” You haven’t, but you don’t say that. All you want to ask him is if Jongho is well. Whatever else is on his mind, especially the betrothment, is not what you want to discuss.

The door swings open, the familiar flop of hair peeking inside. Yeosang stands quickly, his expression sharp. Wooyoung strolls in nonchalantly, hands tucked in his pockets as he looks around. His outfit seems out of place in the fancy room, wearing nightwear in the morning. “Haven’t been in here for a while.”

“You were confined to your quarters, Wooyoung. Yunho specifically told you to stay away from this wing because we have important guests. We can’t have you ruin anything. Not today.”

Wooyoung pouts, head tilted. “Now, what will I do? I’ll be on my best behavior. I wouldn’t meddle in something this important to the clan, Yeo.” His eyes flash red, unmoving from Yeosang’s gaze. “Now how about you go and pretend to be doing something important? Maybe in my wing, instead?”

Yeosang’s expression changes immediately, the anger dissipating. He moves past Wooyoung, walking out through the open parlor door. Wooyoung watches him go, a grin on his lips.

“What did you do to him?” You ask, tucking yourself further into the chair. You left your knife in your room, and there’s nothing strong enough around the room to protect yourself with. Yeosang said he isn’t dangerous, but the hypnosis that he just used with ease on Yeosang– it only makes your skin crawl. “Why are you here?”

“Ah,” he clicks his tongue, waving his finger at you. “No questions. Your commander is right around the corner. Just be casual, yea?” he wiggles his brows, snapping his fingers. You blink, his nightwear immediately transformed into something more formal. He sits in the same spot Yeosang once was, taking a bite of the same apple. “Don’t say my name, lovebug. You’ll mess up my whole scheme, and I wouldn’t like that.” His playful expression dissipates, a scowl on his lips. “I don’t like when people don’t play my games.”

You adjust yourself in your seat, watching as the door opens completely. Yunho and Chan enter the room, still speaking to one another in hushed voices. Seonghwa’s eyes widen when they meet Wooyoung’s, Yunho only letting out a soft sigh. Wooyoung leans forward.

“Took you forever to show up, I thought I’d have to wait a millenia,” he says, taking another bite of the apple.

You say nothing, staring at Chan. His grin is wide, taking several steps forward. Before you get the chance to stand, he pulls you in his arms, his strength pulling you out of your seat.

“It’s been so long, Lady,” he says into your ear, squeezing once more before letting go. He brushes your loose strands away from your forehead, eyes flicking between yours. “Have you been okay? Have these Mavians been treating you well?”

“I’m fine Chan,” you take a step back from him, avoiding his eyes. “Of course they’ve been treating me well. They haven’t done anything that I wouldn’t like. How have you been?” You feel uncomfortable, but you try your best to push away the feelings. It’s Chan, he’s Chan. And yet, why do you feel so disgusted in his presence? You didn’t feel like this three weeks ago, but now… his presence just makes you itch all over.

“I’m well now that I’ve finally seen your face again,” he says softly. “I know you’ve been wondering, but Jongho has been well. He doesn’t live with me, but he lives on his own in an apartment,” he says. “It’s enough for a lone bachelor, but he said that there’s a room available for whenever you decide to go home.”

Home. With Jongho. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, for him to be safe. Out of the dire state your neighborhood was. And all of this, because you decided to continue in this manor, spend time with Mavians. In the beginning you hated every moment, but now? You glance at Yunho and Seonghwa, who both seem to be staring fiercely at Wooyoung. You’re comfortable.

“Speaking of Jongho, could you give him a letter of mine? The others told me that we can receive mail from above, so I just wanted him to know that I’m okay. And I thought giving it to you directly would be better than the mail service,” you’re rambling and you know you are, but you just need him to know that you're okay.

Chan grins, taking the letter from you and tucking it in his pocket. "How did you learn to write?"

You look down, "They taught me. But really, thank you for doing this. It means a lot."

“Anything for my fiance.”

Your heart drops. No.

“Fiance?” Seonghwa speaks up. “How is she your fiance?”

“That’s an interesting way to phrase that,” Chan frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I mean how. You sent your fiance to a Mavian manor as a peacemaker? Why would any man in their right mind do something like that? And especially purposefully leaving out information that would’ve made us reject her if we knew. Why would you put your love in that much danger?” Seonghwa is spewing questions quickly, the awkward air in the room turning slightly hostile. “Are you human men complete idiots?”

“Watch your words,” Yunho says, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looks at Chan. “I apologize. He’s just bewildered, that’s all.”

“There is no worries,” Chan waves him off. “I must have just presumed that she told you all already. After her time is spent here I’ll be bringing her home and marrying her. We’ll finally be together, isn’t that right Lady?”

You don’t respond, fists clenched on your side. Yunho eyes flick to your fists, scanning your face. “Let's wrap up our visit. I believe the peacemaker has a lot of meetings she needs to go to, and I wouldn’t want her to be delayed further. My guard can see you at the door.” He steps forward, Seonghwa moving to your side. Wooyoung hasn’t said much, only observing.

Chan pouts, “It was so short. I’ll give this to Jongho, and I’ll see you soon Lady,” he turns on his heel and leaves the room. You see the shadow of one of the manor’s guards following him close behind. Yunho closes the door, hand flat against the wood as he stands there in silence.

You’re still furious, but you close your eyes, trying your best to calm down. There’s so many things to say, so many frustrations that you just want to let out, explode. But you just go back into your seat, sitting down on the cushion lightly. Seonghwa sits next to Wooyoung, seemingly ignoring his presence.

“I didn’t know you and the commander were to be married,” Seonghwa says.

“You didn’t know because it’s not true. Well, not entirely,” you rub your face.

“Then what is the truth?” Yunho asks, finally moving off the door. “Because I could tell that if I didn’t ask him to leave, you would have done something you regretted.”

“He’s an idiot, that’s why,” you seethe. “I told him that I’d consider marrying him, but I wanted to come here first. Do you know about the class system?” you look up. All of them nod. “I am in the second to last class. Seonghwa, you were right when we first met. I was from the slums. They have ways that you can advance and I found out about this position as a peacemaker. It would raise us several classes, and we would be safe. I wouldn’t have to worry too much about my family, because they’ll be safe. Even if I wasn’t here. Although now, I can tell that the truths they fed me were lies.”

“Your family?” Wooyoung asks. “I was just joking with you before, but I presume Jongho is your family?”

“He is. He’s my little brother. Everything that I do is to make sure he’s safe.”

“You aren’t even supposed to be in this room right now, Woo. I can see through your majik, you know. Don’t pry in matters that aren’t your business,” Yunho hisses. Wooyoung shrinks under his gaze. It’s a first; everyone else he just teased. Yunho looks back at you. You can finally see the tattoo underneath his eye in clear view; an array of flowers. “So then what will you do about Chan?”

“Because I was of such a lower class, he asked if I wanted to marry him. I would immediately be in the higher ranks, and wouldn’t have to care about being starved or living in horrible conditions anymore. And I did consider it, because then Jongho would be safe. But… I thought too selfishly. I let my own beliefs shadow what I wanted for my family.”

“And what belief was that?” Seonghwa asks.

“I wanted to marry someone I loved. And I never loved Chan. But if it didn’t work out down here, I would. But he is not my fiance. And as of right now, he’ll never be.” You shake your head, “I’ve put a lot on the line to be a peacemaker. I’m not going to be a bride to a man I do not love just to live an easy life when I can achieve that status on my own accord. It may be idiotic to do such a thing, but that’s what I’ve decided.”

“That’s honorable of you, not idiotic,” Yunho says softly. “I understand that there are times you have to cast aside your own feelings in order to save your family. I’ve done that most of my life. But there are also times where you’re allowed to be selfish. This is one of those times. But I do have a question, why didn’t you correct him? You had the chance, but you didn’t.”

“Because despite my wariness, Jongho is still not with me. I can’t protect him. If I send away an angry Chan, there’s no telling what he’ll do to my brother. And as of right now, my brother thinks that I trust the commander. I’ve detailed how I am in my letter but in code that only my brother will understand. And my decision on my fate.”

“That’s smart of you,” Wooyoung says. This time, there’s no teasing in his eyes as he looks at you. “Dictating your own life and controlling your anger to prevent harsh consequences. Maybe you are more than just a pretty face,” he adds that at the end, giving you a grin. It would’ve annoyed you a couple weeks ago, but you’ve grown to understand his words. Wooyoung is an enigma, but he’s caring. There’s just an effort to read between the lines when it comes to him.

“Well, that’s enough exciting events for today. Ladybug, I believe that San is waiting for you outside the door. I can hear the impatient pattering of his feet. I’ll stay here with Seonghwa and Wooyoung, we have much to discuss.”

You nod, moving around them and standing next to the door. You glance back, eyes on Yunho and Seonghwa. “Thank you both for being there. I’m not too sure if I could’ve held back from punching him if you weren’t standing next to him.” You don’t wait for them to respond, shutting the door behind you.

San stands there, eyes narrowed as they stare at you. The hostile energy within his gaze is suffocating, the judgment and ridicule seemingly on the brink of exploding. Before you can question him, he walks off. You know it was a silent command to follow him, so you do. Not out of obligation of course, but mere curiosity. There’s nothing you can think of that would make him angry, especially not this much. He marches through the hallways quickly, turning around a corner and opening a bedroom door. You hesitate outside, knowing that it’s improper to enter a room without being invited. San doesn’t say anything though, pacing back and forth inside.

“Are you going to come in?” He hisses after a moment, glaring at you.

His irritation has finally irked you, and you step inside, shutting the door behind you. “Why are you so frustrated with me? I thought we were getting along well, but it seems like you’ve backtracked.”

“Me?” San laughs dryly, throwing his head back. “Is this my fault now? You’re the one who’s been hiding things from me. I have a right to be furious with you.”

“I’m sorry San, but when did we ever discuss anything together? All you’ve done is tell me that you hate humans and everything having to do with them. Why would I start having discussions with you about whatever ‘secret’ you think I’m keeping?” He’s being completely ridiculous, and you can’t help but feel your anger rising. “Stop trying to control me, I can handle things on my own.”

“You-!” His voice starts to rise, but he stops, closing his eyes. He rubs his chin, stopping next to the window seat. “You didn’t tell me about the commander.”

You furrow your brows. “What about him?”

“That you and him were…” He cuts himself off, “You didn’t tell me that you were together.”

“It’s not any of your business what my relationship is with him, or anyone else. Why are you taking this so close to heart?”

“Because Bug, you are my fate. We are one,” he holds his hand over his heart. “When Chan told me that you were his love, it felt like I was burning on the inside. I couldn’t breathe. Ha, I really didn’t know having a Fated would make me feel this way.” He chuckles lightly. “I feel like my heart is about to escape my chest. I wanted to hurt him,” his voice is softer now. “The way he spoke of you when I guided him to the front door. Like you were just an object of desire to him, nothing more. Even thinking of it now just makes me,” his jaw clenches, eyes still outside. “I apologize.”

“San.” You move closer to him, a bit wary. He can surely feel you moving closer to him, but he doesn’t move away. You linger for a bit, before finally reaching for his hand. His head whips to yours as you place his hand just above your heart. His breath hitches, eyes widening as they stare at you. You place your free hand on his chest, eyes never leaving his. His heart pumps wildly underneath your palm, and yours does the same to his. “Listen to me.”

“Bug–” He tries to pull his hand away, but you tighten your grip on his fingers.

“Chan is not mine and I am not his. Nor will I ever be. I want you to understand that San. Whatever he told you about him and I is a lie. I did agree that I would think about marrying him, but I never confirmed it to him. I told him I would see what I feel like after a month. Whatever else he said is not true.”

“So you’re not to be wed?” he asks softly, and you nod.

“No, we’re not,” You grin. “Now will you stop being angry with me?” You let go of your hold on his hand, but he doesn’t move it, eyes still on yours. “San?”

“What are you doing to me?” he whispers, laughing. His hand reaches up, cupping your cheek in his hand. He seems to be stuck in his thoughts, his thumb running along the curve of your jaw. Each place he rubs is filled with hesitancy, as if the slightest touch would make you shatter, trailing with warmth. “This is a sin.”

“Then why hasn’t your touch left mine?” you ask, chest rising and falling underneath his fingers. He removes his hand from your chest with haste, the one on your face with much more resistance. “I don’t think this will work between us. You and I are too different, no one determines my fate but myself.”

“You are right about that,” he says softly, finally leaving your face. He watches as you sit on the window seat, arms crossed against your chest. “You will bring me ruin, bug,” he says. “A human and a Mavian, it is impure and damnable. The fates must be incorrect. It’s just,” his seems to be out of breath, stuttering over each word. “Nothing can be possible between us. What you desire is–”

“Me? Is it just me? Am I the one to blame?” You ask through rapid breaths, holding your head in your hands. “Is what is between us just my fault, San?”

“Bug.”

“I’ve been trying to stay away from you. Every chance I got I tried. Each time I see you in the hallway, I walk the other direction. When you’re in the dining hall, I wait until you're finished eating so I can partake. When you’re outside, I move away from the window so you can’t see me. Even in the beginning, I told you that I didn’t want to see you. So don’t stand there and tell me that all of this is my fault when it’s not. You’ve been pushing yourself closer into my circle. I mean,” you raise your hands. “You’re the one that brought me to your private quarters! I didn’t ask for you to wait outside the parlor for me, I could have walked on my own. I know this place well enough to make my way back to my room. So do not blame this all on me. Just don’t.”

Your hands curl around the loose fabric of your pants, breathing heavily. “I will take my leave. And I’ll make sure we don’t see each other anymore. And maybe I will renounce my stay here. I’m sure you’ll be fine without me as a peacemaker.” You stand, moving further away so your body doesn’t brush against his. But as you move his hand grabs the ends of your jacket, stopping you in place. You turn back to look at him, tugging on his hand. “San, I don’t have time to be scolded by you again.”

He pulls you to him and you yelp, stumbling back. He stands to block your fall, your body hitting against his chest. You push him away and he shuffles back onto the

“I don’t want you to go, bug.”

“You’re giving me mixed signals. What do you want from me?”

His gaze wavers as you stare at him in exasperation, and he frowns. “I want you to sit next to me so I can tell you a story. Then you may take your leave.”

“San…”

“Please. This is all I ask of you.”

You slowly take the window seat next to him. He props up his leg, tucking it underneath his body as he moves his gaze to outside. You follow it, the garden pitch black, except a small lantern too deep into the distance for you to see. He rubs his arms, closing his eyes briefly.

“Our clan hasn’t always been together. At one point, the majority of us didn’t know each other until the first war. We arrived on the same ship, yes, but there were so many of us that we couldn’t remember every name. When we landed, we were split up into teams based on skills. It doesn’t matter which ones, but the only one that didn’t join us at that time was Yeosang. Once we realized that humans wanted to kill us and steal our resources instead of exchanging knowledge, we had no other choice but to fight. It was silly of us to assume that it would be fine.

“In the beginning, Seonghwa was the leader. Wooyoung and I are best friends, and have always been. We persuaded him that we needed to stay together, despite our similarities in ability. Mingi and Yunho were added at the end because we lacked team members. Each group was made up of five Mavian, so we had enough. It wasn’t until the final voting when Seonghwa wanted to relinquish his leadership position. He couldn’t handle being in control of us while we were at war, and we accepted that. Yunho took his place with ease.

“We fought for years. Most of our people were killed, but you know all of those details. We fought valiantly, but I don’t believe any of us gave it our all. It must be weird to hear that from me, but we didn’t want to eradicate the human race. It was not something that we ever wanted. We landed here to educate and be educated. To learn more about the universe. And there we were, killing the source of our information. I know the humans say that we were defeated, but it’s more than that. We decided as a collective that we needed to stop. That senseless killing isn’t what we desired. So we did.

“Not too long after we were sent under, I remember seeing a Mavian holding onto a fabric. He looked utterly gutted. There was nothing but emptiness in his eyes as he sat there. Yunho saw him and picked him up. There was bloody rope wrapped around his wrists and he took it off of him. Then Yunho told him that he could live with us. That he wouldn’t have to worry too much once he stayed with us. And that’s how we created our clan. He didn’t have a name, not one he could remember. So he was given the name Yeosang.

“But Seonghwa, before all of this, the reason why he gave up his leadership role is something that I need to mention. It’s the reason why I am struggling to accept you as my soul. He had a soulmate before this. Before the War, before the Mavians decided to land on this planet. But he lost her. He lost her in a horrid way, and I could tell by the look on his face when he mentions her that he’s still broken. It’s been hundreds of years, and he still is trying to put the pieces back together. And it’s not like she was a human, she was a Mavian. He had a lot of time with her, but he still isn’t okay. And seeing him like that makes me worry endlessly.”

San looks at you, his gaze heavy. “I didn’t want to get attached to you because of how I’ll feel when you’re gone. Human lives are so brief, they pass in the blink of an eye. I’ll never get to spend the end of my days with you, Bug. And that thought afflicts me immeasurably. So it’s not you, this isn’t your fault even if I said it was. I should apologize for offending you. I’ve been dragging you along because I am too consumed in my own thoughts to even consider your own.”

You place your hand on his knee, squeezing it slightly. “Thank you for telling me San. It all makes sense now,” you drop your hand, glancing out the window. The person holding the lantern comes into view. It’s Seonghwa, his steps slow as he walks back to the door. “I won’t avoid you, but I need you to decide for yourself what you want. This push and pull is doing us no good. You need to come to the conclusion of what relationship you want us to have. I won’t do it for you.”

“I’m sorry I’m putting you through this.”

“No apologies anymore,” you say, frowning. “I never thought, you know, that the Mav was bad. All of the words everyone told me, I just couldn’t believe it. If you really wanted to kill us, you would have done it right when you landed. But you didn’t.” You move off the window seat, smiling at San. “I’ll see you around, and I’ll make sure not to walk the other way.”

-

“The city?” you ask, standing on the edge of the stoop. Mingi stands there, his hands on his hips as he looks up at you. “But I’m not even supposed to leave the manor grounds. It’s in my contract.”

“No, it says you can’t leave without supervision. And I am the supervisor,” he grins wickedly, wiggling his brows. He sees the frown on your lips and matches it. “Come on, you’ve been in there for weeks now, I’m sure you’re tired of it. Hey, don’t give me that look.” he stares at you pointedly. “We have to leave before the others come back.”

“I thought you said that you asked!”

“Well, I did ask. And they said we’ll discuss it. So this is me and you, we-" he gestures between the both of you- "discussing it.”

“Oh my goodness you’re completely mad.” You rub your face in astonishment. How has he lasted this long when all he does is twist words? You take a step back, moving closer to the door. You hit a solid body and turn, seeing Yeosang standing there. He raises his brow at you, glancing between you and Mingi. Perfect.

“Ah, you’ve finally left the room. Took you long enough!” Mingi murmurs.

“You two?” You say, eyebrows raised. He shrugs, placing his hand lightly on your back to encourage you forward. "You're in cahoots with this fool?"

“We aren’t as rule bound as you might think, peacemaker. And I agree with Mingi that you need some time on the outside. How can you create peace between the races if you haven’t even seen our city? It seems fruitless to try it any other way, doesn’t it?” His hand pushes you a bit harder this time. You stumble off the stoop, already hearing Seonghwa scolding in your head. Mingi grabs your arm, pulling you through the garden.

“I’m blaming this on the both of you if we get caught,” you scold, your lips in the shape of a light smile. Yeosang chuckles at your expression, and you scowl. “I’m serious!”

“You’re with us, no one is going to mess with you or bother you. Now we have to go, there’s so much to see and only a few hours left in the day to do it.”

The three of you didn’t bother taking a vehicle, the city just a block or so away from the manor. With the change of scenery, you’re reminded that you’re in a privileged position. Chan played you in a position unlike most of the peacemakers, a spot that guaranteed that you’d be safe. Although, after listening to the Mavians you live with, you wonder if what he said was a lie. What if each household was as friendly as the one you’re currently in? You truly wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

The city changes drastically. The kept grounds that you were accustomed to turned into weeds, litter lining the streets. It reminded you of your home, the akin surroundings calming you a bit. It’s strange that even in an underground Mavian city, there was still a difference between classes. But from the way they greeted Yeosang and Mingi, you wouldn’t even see the difference. Older Mavian men patted them on the back and placed their hand over their hearts, acknowledging them with sincerity. It is odd, seeing them greet each other without malice in their eyes. It’s almost refreshing. You were scared that they’d look at the three of you strange because of their place in society. Well, they did look at you strangely. Their eyes followed you, some widened as you passed their stores and stalls. Mingi and Yeosang stuck close to you, almost squeezing you between them as you walked through the town. You know it was because you’re a female, but it’s still alarming to see their gazes never leave yours.

“Should I be worried?” you murmur, “I didn’t bring my knife with me.”

“You’ll be fine, you’re with us remember? And the place that we’re going to, they won’t stare at you,” Mingi says, nudging you. “Trust us.”

“I trust you, I just don’t trust them.”

“Wise words,” Yeosang replies. Their steps are quicker, your eyes barely glancing at your surroundings due to how fast you’re moving. They finally stop and you get to catch your breath. They give you more space, Mingi stepping forward. His eyes land on the food stall, grin widening.

“I wanted to show you these Mavian delicacies. All you’ve eaten is human food, but this,” he gestures to the menu. “It’s out of this world. Truly.”

You snicker at his poor attempt at a joke, moving to stand next to him. The food in front of you looks a bit familiar, almost like dragon fruit. You’ve quickly noticed that all they eat is fruit and vegetables, no animal by-products. And this seemed like another variety of it. Mingi is giddy, almost jumping in his stance as he waits for the vendor to hand him the food.

“Three I presume?” He asks, glancing between you all. His gaze barely lingers on yours, and you thank him silently.

“Yes, thank you!” Yeosang hands him, surprisingly, human money. You stare agape at the amount he gives him. The vendor doesn’t seem the least bit phazed, taking it earnestly and tucking it in his apron. He passes you the food, Mingi balancing it easily as you three walk to a nearby table. He passes you your fruit, gesturing for you to sit. Yeosang takes the seat on your left, and Mingi sits across. With zero hesitation, he takes a bit, moaning in satisfaction.

You stare at it, taking a small bite. The fruit bursts into your mouth and you gasp as the flavors hit your tongue. Yeosang and Mingi watch you for your reaction, and you give them a thumbs up. For the first time, you see a wide grin on Yeosang’s lips, a soft nod to you as he starts eating his. As you three sit in silence in the bustling city center, you finally speak up.

“Yeosang, you gave him a lot of money.”

“Mhm,” he says simply. “He’s an old friend of ours. We pass by his stall whenever we can and give him what we can.” Yeosang dabs his lips with the napkin, clearing his throat. “We can’t do much in our community because our wealth only reaches so far, but we try to. Our motivation is to ensure that we all have a good life, with wealth or not.” He glances around. “The people that you see here aren’t wealthy monetarily, but they’re happy. And happiness is more valuable than money.”

“Are there homeless Mavian?”

He shakes his head, “Never. And if we see someone struggling that hard, we offer them shelter. A lot of the caretakers in our home were formerly without a home. No Mavian deserves to live on the street.”

His words move you. You’re used to the sarcastic tone of your government or the military explaining that they cannot take care of every class. That the lower classes aren’t working hard enough to pull themselves out of poverty. It’s something that you’ve heard everyday. The almost jarring, stark difference between the two is baffling. It makes you disgusted that even after hundreds of years, humans still can’t figure out how to care for one another. Basic necessities aren’t given without a transaction.

“My brother,” you start, catching their attention. “When we were younger, my parents were often out of the house finding jobs here and there. I was stuck with him inside the house most of the time. Whenever my parents came home, they often forgot to give us food and always apologized. In the beginning, it wasn't too bad because we ate whatever I could find. But it soon turned bad. There were days at a time where we only had a cup of water for dinner. I thought it would be best for me to try and help in some way."

Your fingers brush absentmindedly on the rope scars on your wrist.

"My parents found out eventually and warned me that if I did it again I would be kicked out of the house. But I did. I gave them money too, and they stopped complaining. I knew that they valued my earnings over the suffering that I was going through. I saw things no teenager should ever see, did things that teenagers should never have to do. But I did it to protect my brother. He was the only thing in the world I cared about," you drop your hand from your wrists. "I just wanted to let you know that I value and appreciate your humanity, for lack of a better word. You care without thinking twice, and you take care of your people. Humans have a long way to go."

You've been looking down the whole time, afraid of the judgemental eyes people give you once you've told them about your family. But when you lift your head, you're greeted with understanding and sincere gazes. Mingi smiles at you lightly, while Yeosang seems to be deep in his thoughts.

"You love your brother, don't you?"

"More than anything in this world," you admit, taking a bite of the fruit. "He admired your people too, you know. He'd be down here with me too if he was old enough."

"Ah yes, I heard about the age limit placed on humans entering our city. It’s a pity,“ Yeosang admits, ”I would love to hear more from your younger population on how you view us. Perhaps we would come to a better agreement if we saw that they think the same as us."

"Jongho wouldn't mind meeting any of you. I'm sure you'll get along well." A question has been lurking in your thoughts for a while now. "Yeosang? That time we were in the parlor, Wooyoung–"

"He used magic to manipulate me, yes," Yeosang says, furrowing his brows. "It's not something he does often because of the repercussions, but he dabbles in it often. He was scolded after that by Yunho."

"I mean, are you okay? You don't even seem upset that he used you that way. Normally someone would at least dislike the person who did it."

"I've known him for a long time, Lady," Yeosang says simply. "He's one of my closest friends. In all honesty, he could make me do many things and I'd understand. This is just the way he is, as all," he glances at his watch, expression dropping. ”Hell.“

“Is it late?” You ask, and Mingi quickly packs up everyone’s things, tucking it deep into his bag. You want to ask more questions, but it seems like he doesn't want to answer. You're just a bit shocked that he'd even still consider Wooyoung his friend after something like that.

“We won’t make it back on time now, but I’m sure they won’t go to your room immediately. We still have a chance to sneak you inside without a fuss,” Mingi wiggles his brows, tugging you forward. You feel the same tingle from his skin like you did before, but you push past that thought once you turn, seeing Mavian’s gathered in the middle of the square. The exact path that you have to take back to the manor. Mingi stops, his playful expression slipping off his face.

Yeosang gets on the other side of you, glancing between the Mavians. “Do we have an issue?” he asks.

“You bring a human into our town square and ask us if we have the problem? You’re the one that’s breaking rules, they aren’t allowed to leave their assigned home unless prompted,” One of them points out, moving closer to the three of you. You reach for your waist to grab your knife but come up empty handed. Shit. You really should have ran back for it.

“What does that have to do with you? Our affairs are none of your business, Mavian,” Mingi shoots back, Yeosang glancing at him. “She’s not a threat to you.”

“Her mere presence is an issue to us, Mingi. Just because you two are from the first family doesn’t mean anything. Titles don’t matter down here. Should I bring her to the brothel? She’d fit in there much better than walking our streets.”

“Fuck off,” you retort. His gaze moves down to you. You notice the scars covering his face, the tattoo imprinted underneath his eye. He’s the leader of his clan, and here you are antagonizing him. “Or do you want me to go around telling my commander of the illegal activities going on?” You point to the brown bag in his hand. “Like that contraband you’re not hiding all that well.”

“You little–” He steps forward, but a hand on his shoulder stops him from moving further. He pushes the hand away, pointing at you. “You better not find yourself alone, little girl. These two won’t be around to protect you forever.”

“I can protect myself, thank you,” you glare at him. He stares at you for a moment more before turning around, his gang of friends following. Once they’re far enough away, Mingi pulls you harsher down the street. You try tugging out of his grip, but it only tightens. “Mingi–”

“That was a stupid move you pulled back there, Lady,” Mingi says, looking down at you. Yeosang trails behind the both of you, saying nothing. “You’re already a human in a place you shouldn’t be. Making them angrier just leads to trouble. You could've gotten hurt. Or Yeosang. Or me. I admire your resilience but next time let us handle it, not you.”

There’s not an ounce of joking in his tone as he looks at you. You nod, this time tugging harder on his hand. He lets go and you stumble back slightly. Yeosang catches you with ease, hand light against your back. The three of you say nothing as you walk back to the manor, the silence no longer comforting. It’s filled with anxiousness on your part, and anger in Mingi. Yeosang doesn’t seem as affected as the both of you, keeping to himself as he lingers behind.

Mingi cusses once you’re in front of the manor, Yunho’s car back in its spot. He looks at you, “Think you can pretend to be sitting in the garden while Yeosang and I sneak inside?”

You nod, walking into the tall grass. You sit in an area a little ways away from the entrance, a spot where it would make sense that they didn’t see you as they arrived. Mingi watches you in silence, questions in his eyes as he stares. But Yeosang only nudges him forward, and he finally looks away. Yeosang smiles at you softly, disappearing indoors along with the other Mavian.

You let your body fall to the ground, the tall grass hiding you, even if just for a moment. The night is colder but you don’t want to get up, knowing that inside will probably only lead to more and more questions. Mingi is right and you know it. You let your ego get the best of you and intervened when you didn’t need to. And just when you thought things were getting better, you made it worse. Again. You still haven’t heard anything back from Jongho, only increasing your worry.

You sigh, blowing away loose hair from your face. The sky is an illusion and you know it is, the thought of being underground only makes your stomach twist. But it’s far enough away that it just looks like an endless night. You hear the front door open, and the pounding of feet coming down the steps. It’s funny how even without lifting your head, you’re already familiar with the pitter patter of his boots.

“Bug?” His voice is loud, echoing around the yard. You lift your arm lazily, not willing to move from your spot. His steps are quieter now, shuffling through the grass. The view of the sky changes, San’s face blocking half of it. You smile at him, and his eyes look relieved as they meet yours. He sits down next to you, his breaths heavy. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“I’ve been here.”

“Not all day. I could feel you, you know. The fated bond is strong. I knew you weren’t at the manor right when we got here,” he sighs again. “I thought the commander took you while we were gone.”

“That’s your first thought? Not me running away from here?” You tease.

“Would you? Run away?”

When you first arrived, yes. You would have without hesitation. But now? “I like you too much to leave,” you admit. “Staying by your side is my best bet right now. I don’t think running away will solve any of my problems.” You turn your head, seeing him stare out into the city. “I do want to see my brother again if I can. And I can’t rely on you all to give me shelter. I have to move back at some point.”

“But you will be back where you started–”

“I’ll find a way to let us rise higher in classes. I’m sure there’s something out there I can do.”

“So you plan on leaving us.” San states matter of factually. “After everything, you just want to go?”

“San, let’s not do this right now. Please,” you reach for his hand, letting your fingers entwine. “I already have Mingi pissed at me, and maybe Yeosang. I don’t need you angry too.”

His anger from his face slips and he nods, rubbing your palm. “Okay. But we do have to talk about it eventually. We can’t push it back. Your commander is scheduled for a visit in a couple of weeks. Promise me that sometime between then we’ll talk about it.”

“Okay. I promise,” you murmur, unsure. He grins down at you.

“Perfect,” he says. “But seeing you wasn’t the only reason that I came out here. Seonghwa wants to speak to you privately. He knows about the little adventure you and the other two went on. I honestly should have been there with you already, but we never seemed to have time to ourselves.”

“Ah, I’m not ready to be yelled at yet,” you pout, and he laughs. You watch as the crescents deepen in his cheeks as he throws back his head. You feel your chest tighten. You haven’t told him anything, not how you felt about being his Fated or what you’re going to do about it. And he’s never pushed you, never forced you to tell him anything after your argument with him about Chan. All he does is look at you in understanding. If only you didn’t have anything else to worry about. If only you can stay here with them.

“Can I ask you something, before we go?”

“My thoughts are yours.”

“Has Yeosang ever been in a human city?” You ask San. He looks at you in mild confusion.

“He’s a Mavian. The only time that we’ve stepped foot on topside was when there was a war.”

“That’s what I presumed,” you murmur, frowning. He still stares. “It’s nothing San, just a random train of thought.”

“That train of yours seems to be working overtime lately,” he grins.

“That it does.”

So Yeosang couldn’t know you, as far as San is concerned. He hasn’t left this underground, and you haven’t stepped foot here once besides the time you’ve spent now. Then why does he look at you as if you’re forgetting something, that you’re oblivious to what’s going on? You’d hate to pry into his business now, but there’s no other choice. You need to know why he’s been acting like this with you.

“Bug?” he asks, interrupting your thoughts.

“Hm?”

He holds your hand with the gentlest touch, his fingers delicate in their hold. He brushes it with his thumb, eyes forgetting yours. “When you told me about Chan, and how you previously wished to marry him for social status, I looked deeper into it. Marriage is a human ritual. It is only a human act to marry, to bear children and to care for several decades until you both lie in the earth and rest eternally. We in Mavian culture do not marry and rarely bear a child. Time is not something we consider, because it is endless to us. And yet here I am, sitting beside you. I wonder.”

“About?” You ask. His finger stops stroking, eyes finally moving to yours.

“I wonder if marriage was such a thing in Mavian culture,” he leans over you, his face filling every corner of your gaze. His hair falls in strands as he looks down, a breath away from you, “I would do it for you a thousand times over.”

“San…” you suck in a breath, “You can’t say things like that so casually.”

“Trust me Bug, me saying this to you right now is anything but casual,” he leans close to you and you wait in bated breath. His eyes flick down to your lips, a smirk slowly forming on his. “You seem a bit too interested in staring at me and not moving–”

You press your lips against his. He recuperates without hesitation, a low moan escaping his lips as he pushes against your own. You feel his tongue slowly drag against your bottom one, biting it softly.

“San,” you gasp once he pulls away. “We need to go to Seonghwa or else he’ll kill us both.”

“He can wait a little longer,” he grins, easily lifting your body off the ground. He rolls over, his head lightly hitting the ground. You straddle his hips as he stares up at you, his eyes glowing. They almost seem to sparkle as they meet your gaze. You lean down, your hand slowly tracing the length of his jaw. He stops you as you reach his chin, pressing his lips lightly against your traveling fingers.

“You’re beautiful,” you utter. His cheeks dust with a faint blush and he looks away, laughing softly.

“You stole my line, Bug.”

You laugh along with him, the inner voice of yours slowly creeping up. You can’t get attached. You have to leave him. You have to leave everyone. Don’t make it harder. Your smile slips as you look at him, his unbothered expression fading as he watches you. You try lifting your body off his, but his hands rest on your waist, stopping you.

“Why do you do that? Pretend like everything is fine and never talk about it? Do you think I didn't notice, Bug? Because I feel everything you feel,” he lets one of his hands rest on his heart. “Your heartbeat is also mine. Please don’t lie to me. Not this time.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, moving again. He lets his hand drop as he watches you get up. You dust off your pants, not bothering to give him another glance as you walk inside. You’re sure that Seonghwa is in his office.

The hallways are quiet, most people probably in the dining hall. It’s a habit you still can’t break; you eat alone. San tried to join you once but you couldn’t eat around him. You’re not sure what it is, but you just can’t. He left you alone after that, and you’ve been by yourself during those times. He must have given the message to the others, because whenever you’re in there, not one person disturbed you but the caretakers. You bowed slightly as you passed a few of them, weaving in and around hallways to make it to his office. His office door is open once you get to it. You knock once on the ajar door, before stepping inside.

There’s not much to the office, gold accents just like your room. It’s almost a bit too fancy for your liking, you can tell some of the gold is actually real. But the Mavian you’re looking for isn’t in his seat. His papers are neatly piled on the hardwood, the words in Mavian. You couldn’t even read it if you tried, completely different from any language you’ve ever seen. You look to the windows, seeing Seonghwa leaning on his forearms, hands folded as he stares out into the city. You slowly make your way outside, purposefully making noise and coughing to announce your presence.

He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t give you a glance even as you stand a couple of feet away from him. You follow his gaze out into the city. The light’s glow floods the darkness. He pushes his hair away from his face, humming softly.

"Do you miss your home?" You ask. He furrows his eyebrows, then relaxes slightly.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't." He admits, “And I’m sure every other Mavian feels the same. No matter how much we try to mold this… underground, it will never compare to Wysteria."

"Could you tell me about it?"

He scoffs. "You want to hear?"

"Of course."

There seems to be a shift in his expression. It's unreadable, his blinks quick. His lips lift slightly, eyes finally steady on yours. You're not sure what to make of it.

"Seonghwa?"

He seems to pull out of his small derailment, eyes moving back to the cityscape. "It was wonderful there. Full of color and beauty. Nothing like what I see in front of me now. Like Earth, it was covered in vast oceans. Most of us lived on floating devices engineered to rest on the waters." He gestures to the landscape. "We didn’t live underground, contrary to popular belief. Our homes were normal, we didn’t have a hierarchy except the king and he barely pushed his wants. It was ideal, it was peaceful, and it was beautiful.”

“That sounds amazing,” you add, and he smiles.

“It was. There is nothing I can compare it to, you’d have to see it yourself to understand.”

“Then why did you leave? You could have stayed, could have flourished.”

Seonghwa closes his eyes. “Beauty never lasts long. Our planet was destroyed by a meteor, similar to your story of the meteor wiping out that species in your history. Majority of the planet died except one ship. The ship that we flew through space looking for another home. There were so many galaxies we could have landed in, but our king decided to stop in the Milky Way. Where we found what we thought was a peaceful race. And you know the story after that.”

You nod slowly, remembering hearing about the slaughtering of millions and millions. It makes you angry each time you think of it, knowing that there could’ve been another way. “We could have learned so much from Mavians. Instead we fought a senseless war and ended up like this,” you say. “The human race has somehow gone back several decades instead of moving forward, and your people are stuck underground until you find a way out.”

And apparently they have, from what Mingi previously told you.

“What happened to your king?” You ask.

Seonghwa frowns. “He’s in hiding. He’s ashamed of the decision he made to land here. He fought with us side by side and survived, but he can’t live with the decision he made. So I’m sure if you walk through the town square, you might see him drinking on a side street. I stumbled across him a few times, that idiot.” He shakes his head. “All of us have forgiven him already, no one could have known how we’d end up. But he refuses to take back his position as our leader. Stupid drunk.”

“Who will take it?”

Seonghwa shrugs. “Whoever wants to. But no one has stepped up yet. There’s a lot of push for Yunho to take his place. That’s why he’s rarely in the manor, and often in meetings. He’s preparing to take it if need be even though he doesn’t want it," he hums softly. "Our people need a leader, and other than the king, there’s no one else that I can think of to take it– Wait,” he looks at you. “I forgot who I was talking to. You’ve been here for so long I’ve forgotten you work for humans, not us. I won’t say forget everything you heard, but don’t speak of it unless you have no other choice. Humans don’t need to know our every move.”

“I’m not going to tell them shit,” you say. “I don’t work for them, I work for myself.”

“What have you been telling the soldiers that come then?”

You narrow your eyes, “Mundane things. Like how you eat fruit as dinner, and that you’d rather be in groups then separate. Not lies, but truths enough that they won’t pry further. They know that I’m not smart, so they don’t expect much from me.”

“But your commander does,” he points out. “At some point he’ll figure out that you’re hiding things. That isn’t going to go over well.”

You chuckle dryly, “Right now all he cares about is me marrying him so he can do whatever he wants with me. I’m sure he gives zero fucks about the intel I give them.”

“You seem sure,” he says.

“Because I am. I was probably being naive back then, but when I went into his office only minutes in, he told me that he wants to marry me. It makes me wonder if he planned everything from the beginning. I don’t want to sound full of myself, but he can have anyone, anyone he wants. Anyone in the world, and he chooses me? A poor woman from his childhood who didn’t even want to marry him? And now every time I see him, he brings it up?” You take a slow breath. “He’s smart but he’s completely out of his mind.”

“I admire your conviction. But I only partially agree with you. Chan has a focus, a plan that’s anything but short-sided and he isn’t a fool. I could tell that much when we were speaking to him about your appearance in our home. Despite our attempts at asking about you, he kept on inquiring about Mavian status. Asked if there were any plans that you humans don’t know about and if he should call for a search of our property. Yunho talked him out of it, but that’s when I realized how conniving he is. Especially when his personality changed once he saw you. He’s playing games with all of us, so I’m sure him placing you in the first household was anything but a coincidence. I just think that he expected you to reveal something on your biweekly check ups. You not uttering a word of any value means…”

“He’ll think something is up,” you complete, and Seonghwa nods solemnly. “What can I do then? I don’t want to tell them something that could get any of you arrested.”

“Feeding them unimportant things will only irritate Chan. Perhaps, mentioning things like we’re often secretive when we’re around you, and stop speaking whenever you come into the room. Little miniscule events like that may satisfy them for a while, until we can figure out things.” His eyes move to you. He gives you a light smile. “Nothing would happen with something that simple.”

Before you can respond, his eyes widen. You don’t get the chance to turn; he immediately pushes you to the floor of the porch, bracing your fall with his hand behind your head, covering your body with his. You hear shouting outside, but Seonghwa doesn’t move, using his whole body to cover yours. You hear a low groan fall from his lips as he hovers over you, his eyes darkening. Alarms sound off as he holds himself over your body. Footsteps echo in his room.

“Seonghwa? Where’s the peacemaker?”

He slowly rises to his feet, his eyes focused on yours as he lifts himself up. He gives you a smile, struggling to his feet. Your eyes immediately move to his back, seeing several arrows deep in his skin. His blood dripped onto the patio, his breaths struggled. You desperately try to get to your feet to help him, but even with the wounds in his back he stops you, his hand covering yours.

You can feel the familiar warmth spread through your body as he touches you, the same exact sensation that you feel with San. His eyes meet yours, the comfort turning into utter horror. He pulls away from you, stumbling back. One of the guards is there to catch him as he looks at you in fear.

“It can’t be–”

“This isn’t happening–”

You both interrupt each other’s words as you stare in shock. The guards look at you in confusion, but you stumble to your feet. You groan, looking down at your thigh. An arrow pierces your skin, deep. You can barely stand, leaning against the wall. Your hand grips the stem, but before you can pull one of the guards stops you.

“No peacemaker, you can’t! It’ll make it worse!”

Your vision blurs as you look at him, blinking slowly to try to rid of the dizziness. You struggle to hold yourself up, the guard reaching for you. You can hear the eerily similar rumble that falls from Seonghwa’s lips as the guard reaches for you. The guard looks back at him, desperate.

“I have to touch her Seonghwa, or else she’ll pass out and hurt herself–”

“No skin. Don't touch her skin,” he hisses, pulling out an arrow. “Fuck, did you call Yunho?”

“Yunho, San, Mingi and Yeosang are out there catching the culprits. Wooyoung should be coming soon to help,” he stays, hands wrapping around your waist. He places your arm over his shoulder for support. “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to carry you. It’ll be easier to bring you to the infirmary that way.”

“Yea yea, just be careful with Seonghwa. He has way more arrows than me.”

“He’s a Mavian, peacemaker.”

“He’s not invincible.”

“He’s not, but these arrows are laced with poison to kill humans, not us,” the guard says to you. Your head seems to throb heavily with that information. You cough, blood spilling from your lips and onto your clothing. You touch your face, your skin already moist from sweat. “Peacemaker, please be quick, we don't have time to waste!”

The words don’t seem to register. You lose feeling in your legs as you stumble, trying to apologize to the guard for making him hold all of your weight.

“Lady!” Seonghwa yells, his voice fading into nothing as you pass out.

-

Seonghwa paces back and forth. You’re fast asleep in your room, Wooyoung able to remove the poison from you with ease. It didn’t affect him as much as it did you, he was able to walk around in a few hours. But it’s been a day for you, and you’re still fast asleep. Still, he can remember the feeling that bubbled inside of his heart. The way his gaze met yours. He knows that feeling all too well.

“She isn’t Mavian, she’s a human,” he says to Yunho, rubbing his chin. “This isn’t right.”

“Fate doesn’t pick and choose based on humans versus Mav, Seonghwa. You should know that.”

He waves him off. “I know, I know. But this has to be some sort of mistake.”

“Is it? Do you look at her and see a mistake?”

He stops pacing, turning to Yunho. His leader sits at his desk, his head resting on his folded hands. They’re still stained red with blood from what happened, but he doesn’t seem to care. Seonghwa sighs. “...Don’t make this complicated.”

"You can have more than one soulmate. It was seen before:"

"But I didn't want it to happen to me, Yunho. I've worked hard to move on, to settle my heart's affairs, and now the Fates have decided that mine be placed in the short life of a human? I was devastated when she died. I could barely stand on my own two feet. I was fine dying alone without love because she took mine when she passed on. I can't do it again. I can't,“ he shakes his head. “The thought makes me feel terrible.”

Yunho nods slowly. "I can't force you. But what will you do? You are her main guard–"

"Yeosang can do it. He cares enough to keep her safe. I'll figure out my end.“

"So that's it?" A voice interrupts the two of them. They turn, seeing San stand there. Seonghwa’s quite shocked, he hasn’t left your side since he found out you were hurt. He could remember how fast San came into the manor, face stained with blood and tears as he begged to see you. "You're giving up already?"

Seonghwa shakes his head, "You're supposed to be with her, not me."

"You're going to hurt her because you're too selfish to think of anyone other than yourself? That's it, Seonghwa? The coward's way out?"

Seonghwa moves closer to him, Yunho quickly standing up. He presses his finger to his chest, eyes glowing. "Your silly words do nothing to sway me, you pest. She doesn't mean anything to me."

"Are you sure about that? You’re the one who saved her when arrows were being targeted. You could have left her to die, and we’d be free of her. But you didn’t, you saved her life,” San shakes his head, “I can see the raw emotion in your eyes when you speak of her. It's as if you are alive again."

"You didn't even know me before the war. You have no idea how I used to be. And there is no emotion in my eyes for her but disgust and worry that she’ll ruin our chance to go home."

"I know you enough that I can see you're barely holding yourself together. I know how it feels to have a soulmate. When you touch her, it's as if the weight is lifted. Even if only for a moment,” San looks down, closing his fist. “Why deny your heart’s desire?”

Seonghwa shakes his head, “I’m not speaking to you about this. Whatever emotions you’re trying to push onto me, it’s not going to happen. There’s no reason for her to have more than one Fated. The fates are not choosing wisely, especially knowing that we’re going to leave soon.”

“I’m not leaving her behind,” San says softly. “I don’t know how you could do it, but I cannot. I can’t imagine her not by my side.”

“So what do you suggest?” Yunho says, leaning against his desk. “Do we bring her with us?”

San’s anger towards Seonghwa dissipates slightly. “No. I plan to stay on Earth.”

The curious expression on Yunho’s face drops. “You're not staying, San. Our whole race is leaving this planet. No one will be abandoned. If you cannot part from her, then she will be coming with us.”

San shakes his head, “I can’t just ask her to leave everything for me–”

“Then you will have to leave her by herself. I am not saying this to be argumentative. They will kill you once we leave, San. Your time with her will be fleeting. Seonghwa knows of the anguish it is to lose a soulmate, but you do not. Leaving the peacemaker to watch as you die in front of her eyes is cruelty. And I know you wouldn’t want that for her. Am I correct?”

San says nothing. Yunho stands, moving closer to San. They’re a foot apart now, Yunho leaning down to match his gaze. “Am I correct, Choi San?”

He shrinks. “You are correct, Yunho.”

“Good,” he adjusts his overcoat. “I presume you left someone in charge of her while you're gone?”

“Yeosang is watching over. He’ll alert us if there are any developments.”

“Fantastic. We’re going to have a meeting with everyone on our team except him. Please grab Mingi and Wooyoung and bring them in here. I do not like security threats in my home, and I especially don’t like it when someone is hiding something from me,” his voice drops. “They’ve bothered the wrong clan.”

Seonghwa takes a step back, but San stops him. “Are you afraid, Seonghwa?”

“There’s nothing I’m afraid of. Assassinations are merely cowardly ways of dealing with problems. They lack the intelligence to solve issues through discussion.”

“No, not the intruders. Bug, Seonghwa. Are you afraid of her?”

He furrows his brows. “What is there to be afraid of?”

“Opening up your heart again.”

“Don’t be silly,” Seonghwa pulls away from him. San notices how he avoids his gaze, adjusting his shirt and giving San his back. He can only sigh in response.

-

Murphy's law is often summed up as "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". You rarely think of this phrase and find it rather incorrect; more often than not, your life proves that saying wrong. Sure, mistakes happen to everyone. But you've strayed away from anything that would slow you down. There was no such thing as karma, or things happening for a reason. All of your conclusions were fought for and made through hard work. Honest work. So Murphy's law is something you've never believed in. Until now, of course.

You lie on the mattress, trying to avoid the stare of Yeosang watching you. He hasn’t moved from his spot ever since you tried to get out of the bed, insisting that you’re still not well enough to stand. Each time you tried moving your leg off he only placed it back, frowning at you. Not even a quick distraction moves him from where he’s standing.

“You’re a bully,” you say, and he only rolls his eyes. “What? It’s true, you won’t let me move at all. My leg is going to fall off if you don’t let me move it.”

“Your leg is going to get infected if you keep on moving the way you are.”

“Infected blah blah,” you wave him off. “You’re being dramatic.”

“You didn’t see yourself, peacemaker. You didn’t see the way you were before you woke up,” he says, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Your sweat soaked the blankets. I had to change them several times to make sure none of it bothered the wound. You were shuddering and screaming when Wooyoung was removing the poison from your body. You were in utter agony, and you remember none of it. So I apologize if I’m being a bit persistent, but this is for the best. You’ll be up and walking around in just a day.”

You look at him. You can see the way his brows furrowed in worry as he stares at your thigh, lips pressed in a thin line. He’s not one to show his emotions often so it startles you, how apprehensive he looks.

“How did San handle it?” you whisper.

“He was removed from the room because he couldn’t control himself.”

“Ah,” you sigh, shaking your head. “I didn’t want him to worry.”

“You’re his Fated, Ladybug. Of course he will worry whenever you’re hurt. Even if you’re told to be fine. As I said to you, he sat here all night until he was forced to move by Yunho. He would’ve been the one to greet you if he didn’t have other duties to attend to. That I’m sorry for; you were unfortunately put in the position where my face was the first you had to see.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that Yeosang, your face is comforting,” you say, tucking yourself into the blankets. “I need to speak with you when you get the chance. In a few hours, after I take a quick nap.”

“You’ve been sleeping for several hours now.”

“And a few more wouldn’t hurt,” you shoot back.You ignore the pain in your leg, closing your eyes. You can feel Yeosang’s stare even though your lids are closed. “Don’t think that just because San is my fate, that I don’t care for the rest of you.”

“You’ve only arrived here a little over two months ago.”

“Time doesn’t matter. Once you’ve spent everyday with someone, you get used to seeing them. So whoever it would’ve been; you, San, Seonghwa, even Wooyoung,” you grin. “I would be grateful to see.”

"You're quite strange even by human standards, Ladybug," he says, voice barely above a whisper. “Do you truly find my face comforting?” Even with your eyes closed, you know that he said those words smiling.

“I do,” you say back.

The door swings open, your eyes flicking open to see who it is. Yeosang moves himself off your bed, making room for San to run in. Without hesitation, he comes to your side. He crouches next to the bed, one hand cupping your face. Concern crosses his face as he stares into your eyes, at a loss for words. You lean forward slightly, pressing your forehead against his. It's a silent reassurance and he takes it with ease.

"You're okay," he says softly.

"Nothing could take me out, San," you grin. "Not even a few stray arrows."

His expression darkens. You frown, reaching out and lifting the corners of his lips with your pointer and thumb. He furrows his brows, and you reach out and cover them with your other hand. “Bug--”

“There’s no point in getting angry now. It happened but I’m okay.”

“But you weren’t okay. You looked like you were going to die,” he says simply, slowly moving your hands from his face. “You couldn’t even tell that any of us were in the room because of how delirious you were. I didn’t want to leave your side, but I needed to momentarily. It’s a bit funny how my brief absence is when you wake from your slumber. Did you not want me to be the first Mavian you saw?” he teases you, nudging your arm.

“Yeosang was nice to open my eyes to,” you grin, and San gives you a frown. It’s a teasing one of course, and you roll your eyes. He presses his lips against your forehead.

“I’m just glad you’re okay. That’s all I need.”

“I am too,” you start, hesitating. You were going to take a nap before he came, but now that he’s here you’re suddenly wide awake. You’ve been prying into places you shouldn’t recently. This one, though, has to do with you. You’re not dumb. You’ve seen how Yeosang’s sleeves are stained with blood. You’ve noticed how some of it has splattered onto his neck. You know that they killed whoever tried to murder you. “Can you tell me what happened? Why was I attacked?”

You hear the soft click of the door behind you. Yeosang stood there the whole time, listening to your sweet exchange. He didn’t say a word. You can feel your body flood with embarrassment. San plays with your fingers, deep in thought.

“We don’t know.”

Your skin goes cold. “What?”

“We haven’t the slightest idea why they tried to kill you. I’m sure someone told you about the arrows, yes?” You nod. “The poison that they used isn’t any ordinary poison. We created a century ago to wipe out the human population. A foolish invention and one we do not condone, so we got rid of most of it. But there is still some lingering around the Mavian marketplace if you know who to ask. They used that on those arrows.”

“To kill me?” Your breaths rise, chest sporadic. “What did I do? Why did they–?” You can barely speak, your head filled with more questions. “Was it the same people who wanted to hurt me when I was with Mingi and Yeosang?”

“It wasn’t. We have no idea how or why this Mavian tried to kill you. We got rid of him, but there’s a high chance that there’s more of them out there- Bug, breathe. Come on, look at me,” he holds your face in his hands, bringing your gaze to his. “You’re okay. You’re safe. You don’t need to worry anymore, alright? We’re not going to let anyone hurt you again.”

“San you were right in the beginning,” you say, pulling his hand off your cheek. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “This. Us. It’s not a good idea. We should stop while we’re ahead.”

“No, you don’t mean that.”

“I do. San, listen to me. I've barely been here for a month and everything bad that's happened is because of me. Chan trying to pry into your affairs is because of me, he planted me here. This Fated bond would have never happened if I didn't come here, and I could have left. Everything, all of this is because I was being selfish."

"You're wrong, Bug," he says, shaking his head. "You can't put all of this on yourself."

"I'm not wrong."

"You are wrong. Just because things happened when you arrived doesn't mean you're the catalyst for it. Humans have been planning to attack us for over a century. Chan is only the start. If it wasn’t you planted here, it would’ve been someone else. Us being fated has nothing to do with it, that I promise you. If the fates want us together, they would do it whether we like it or not. So please don’t try to push me away,” San’s thumb brushes your cheek. “Alright? I don’t know how I’d be able to handle it if you did.”

His words are rational, true. But why couldn’t you believe them?

“I’ll try not to,” you say, and he nods, letting out a light sigh.

“Good. Great. Do you want to rest more? I know that poison must have taken a lot out of you, especially since you’re fragile compared to Seonghwa.”

“How is he?” You ask, “He was hit with most of them and I was only attacked with one that slipped through the cracks. Is he okay? Can I see him?”

“See Seonghwa?” His eyes narrow. “You want to see Seonghwa?”

“I…”

San stares at you, waiting for you to finish your sentence.

“I just want to know that he’s okay.”

“He’s fine,” Yeosang’s voice says from the doorway. He glances at San. “I told him that you’re awake, but he’s busy with other affairs to see you. I hope you understand.”

“Yea, yea. No worries,” you wave Yeosang off, avoiding San’s inquiring gaze. “I do think I should sleep more. Just give me some alone time?” You glance in between the both of them. San gets to his feet, saying nothing. “Did I do something?”

“The fates do work mysteriously,” he says simply. “Days ago you wouldn’t have uttered a word about Seonghwa. And now here you are, riddled with worry of a Mavian who doesn’t care about you in the slightest.”

“San, now isn’t the time–” Yeosang says, touching his arm. San shakes him off, giving you a small smile before exiting. Yeosang looks at you sympathetically, lips twitched into a scowl at the door. “We’ll never have a dull day around here it seems.”

“Is he pissed about the bond?” you ask, and he nods.

“San is a loving Mav, but he is also fiercely protective of things that he considers precious. You are one of them,” Yeosang smiles. “He even instructed me to keep away from you. Impossible since I’ll be guarding you as of tonight. Still, that didn’t stop him from admonishing me to stay away from you. I hope you understand that.”

“He doesn’t dictate my life Yeo, I can be close with whoever I want to. He can cry about it all he wants but that’s not going to stop me.”

Yeosang’s grin widens, and you fear that it’s less heartwarming and more mischievous. He doesn’t say anything else to you, bowing slightly and closing the door behind you. After a couple of minutes, you slowly sit up. Pushing back the blanket, your eyes land on the bandage covering your thigh. It’s on securely, but your curiosity is getting the best of you. You glance at your side table, taking your knife off and peeling away the wrappings. Your skin is bruised blue, the two-inch cut on your skin just above your knee. You know that they were aiming for you, but seeing the results of it only frightens you.

Why did they want to kill you? You know that those men in the market threatened you, but San said they didn’t know the reason why whoever they killed targeted you. And Mingi was with them, as well as Yeosang. They would recognize them with ease. That means it had to be someone else. But who?

-

You’re out and about pretty quickly, walking around on your own without the need of one of them watching you. Not that they listen to you, though. Yeosang and Mingi seem to follow you wherever you go, San popping in and out of your room throughout the day. You’ve rarely seen the others; Seonghwa blatantly avoiding you. You’ve seen him only once, he sat outside in the garden while you were sitting on your window bench, humming lightly. You didn’t notice him at first, too deep in your own thoughts to glance around. But when you finally did, you saw that he was staring up at you. Eyebrows furrowed. Lips turned into a scowl. As if he was disgusted by your presence. He went inside soon after that, and that’s the last time you’ve seen him. Days ago.

You don’t want to deal with him either, the thought that these Fates decided to make someone other than San your soulmate only makes you queasy. It makes it harder to leave the underground behind. You’ve felt the bond. Your senses aren’t as strong as the other’s but you can feel the pull. Can feel when San is just outside your door, when Seonghwa briefly moves through the hallway, your room unavoidable on the way to the dining hall. It’s tiresome, trying to control your emotions around them.

And Jongho. He hasn’t sent you a letter back, nothing. You check the mail daily but there’s never anything for you. A part of you wonders if Chan even gave him the letter. You’ve pushed that thought away more than once, mumbling that you’re going crazy. Chan could be an asshole sometimes, but he wouldn’t block communication between Jongho and yourself. And it’s not like anything suspicious was said in the letter. You’ve only told him you were fine, and you’d see him soon. Nothing that would make him throw it away.

“Supper is ready,” Yeosang says, standing at your doorway. You suck in a breath, moving away from the window. He’s wearing more casual wear today, hair pulled back from his face and expression light. But his eyes lift once they meet yours, filled with glee. He’s less irritated with your presence, and you could call him a close friend now. Yeosang is a breath of fresh air. “A penny for your thoughts?” He asks.

“Nothing good is going on in my head right now Yeosang,” you say, your smile strained. He cocks his head to the side as you pass him, walking into the halls. “You’d be utterly bored if you could hear them.”

“That could be arranged,” he says, grinning. “I could ask Wooyoung if he’d lend me a bit of majik. Then I would know why you look like you’re in pain.”

“I do not!” You say loudly, mouth agape as you turn to him. “You’re lying.”

He shrugs, “If I am, you can just correct me. You don’t have many Mavian to talk to here. Having an open ear willing to listen will only make you feel better. There’s no reason to hold in your thoughts when I’m here.”

You know you’re going to ruin the playfulness between you. But it’s been nagging you since you’ve met him, and you can’t get it out of your head. You stop, ironically just in front of his room. His eyebrows furrow, wondering why you’re not moving.

"Why did you look at me as if you recognized me when we first saw one another?" You ask. Yeosang's smile slips, the carefree discussion turning sour. Just like you expected it to. He grips the doorknob harder than before, swallowing softly.

"That's not something I'd like to discuss."

"When will we speak about it then? I've been here for a while and you haven't said a word about it."

"Because it's not my place to," he clenches his jaw, looking down at you. "There are some things that need to remain private peacemaker. This is one of them. I'm sorry I can't provide you with more," he opens the door, stepping inside. "I actually would like to cut our time short here. I apologize for going back on my word, but I'm sure you have more important duties to attend to. You know your way to the dining hall. I hope you have a good meal." He slowly shuts the door, but you reach out and grab his hand, placing your foot between the threshold. He stops the door before it can hit your foot.

Your skin immediately prickles and you pull back, moving your body away from the door. Yeosang furrows his brows as he stares at his hand, tightening and loosening his fist. You watch as his gaze lifts, but before your eyes meet you turn around and walk back to your room. You hear his steps leave his room and he starts to follow, only quickening your pace.

This can’t be happening. There’s no way you can have more than one soulmate. None of this makes any sense--

“Why are you running away?” Yeosang says, a bit loud in the quiet halls.

You turn the corner, ignoring his words. Your room is so close, only a few more steps away then you’ll be home free. You quickly run to the door, sliding through the crack. Before you can turn and lock it, Yeosang’s palm hits the wood, stopping you from closing. He’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling as his eyes finally meet yours. They’re filled with wonder, the light of the moon only making them sparkle. He takes a step into your room and you back up, heart beating in your ears.

“Yeosang–”

“You ran away from me,” he states, hand dropping from the door. “You found out we’re Fated, and you decided to leave me alone.” His eyebrows squeeze together as he looks at you, head tilted slightly. “It’s a bit funny, now that I think about it. You’re consistent in your methods. Asking for information that we’re not willing to provide, then fleeing from the problems that arise. You could have left when I said I didn’t want to discuss it further. We would have never touched hands, and you wouldn’t have known. It’s humorous how the Fates work.” He shakes his head, resting his arms crossed against his chest.

“How could this even happen?” You’re trying to make sense of it, but nothing comes to mind. In all honesty, all you want to do is crawl into a ball and sob. You never asked for any of this, but he’s right. You tried prying into things that you didn’t need to know, and it all ended up like this. You rub your face, your heart still rapid in tempo. “I’m sorry Yeosang.”

“Stop that. You always apologize when it isn’t your fault,” he waves you off. “It’s mine.”

“How is it yours?”

“When I first saw you, I should have advocated for your removal from the manor. It would have stopped this from happening and we could have lived as we always did,” he admits. “Perhaps, I should have let you run away just now.”

“Yeosang what are you hiding from me? How do you know me? Because I have never seen you before. Please.” You’re desperate now, pleading to him to tell you what’s going on.

He looks at you with a bit of pity, sighing loudly. “You were working at a brothel,” he starts, and you freeze. Your hands touch your wrists, swallowing softly. “I didn’t tell the others, but I used to go topside often. Just to visit humans. To see what they’re actually like instead of what they tell us. The change is drastic, the technology that’s now used is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It’s a bit disheartening to see how a lot of Mavian people are living in dire conditions while so many humans are thriving. At least, that’s what I thought until I made it to your town. There’s few differences in the anatomy of Mavian men as you know, so I blended in well. Excluding the clothing that I wore, which was of higher quality compared to the men living in that district. They assumed I was rich and invited me to a brothel. And that is where I saw you.”

“... I don’t remember you,” you confess, scouring through your brain to recollect. But nothing comes up. Most memories of that place you blocked out. “Did you partake?”

He shakes his head, “I’m not interested in things like that. Most humans there were barely of age. Including yourself. You were serving drinks at that time right when I was about to leave. You placed a liquor in front of me and bowed. I saw the ropes tied around your wrists at that time. It made me realize that we have something in common,” he slowly pulls up his sleeve, showing the rope burn scars. He rubs it lightly, squinting slightly. “I told you that there was no need to give me alcohol, but you expressed that your owner insisted upon it. I couldn’t refuse because I didn’t want you hurt. But I gave you a large tip, then left.”

“You recognized me in that brief interaction?” You’re a bit astonished, to say the least. It wasn’t memorable, and you were often given large tips from patrons at the brothel. Yeosang would have stood out from his beauty alone, but it was always too dark to see anyone clearly in there. You could have been serving Chan or Jongho and wouldn't have noticed the difference.

"Our memory is sharp, our eyes sharper in low light. And I wouldn’t have forgotten you, my dear y/n."

Your body stills. He watches as you take in the information, eyes staring into his. You begin to shake your head slowly, rubbing your face to try to relieve the pressure of a headache from forming. Yeosang knows you, he knows you and he knows your real name. You should be horrified that he kept this secret from you, but your body only feels relief. He knows who you are. You don't have to pretend around him, because he knows.

“I tried not to make it obvious I knew who you were. I asked questions, I pretended that I knew nothing. But you saw through it all when our eyes first met. I thought you let it slide, but you’ve been holding onto it for so long without me knowing,” he scoffs. “You’re smart. I should have known better than to doubt. And now here we are."

"So you knew we were Fated." You say simply, your hands shaking.

"No."

"You're lying."

"I didn't know–"

Your eyes meet his, anger boiling over. "You knew. You knew from the first time we met. We touched hands, Yeosang. Your hand touched mine. No wonder I felt like my heart was torn when I left the brothel. I could barely eat for days after, and was only able to start eating regularly after I came here. After we met each other again. You knew we were Fated, and you didn't say a word. San thought he was the first, but it's actually you," your breath hitches, thoughts swirling in your head. "That's why everything you touched me you avoided my skin. You always placed your palm strategically on my jacket or the fabric of my sleeve. You knew."

He swallows slowly, no denial in his eyes.

"Why didn't you say anything to me, Yeosang?"

"It would only hurt you. Look at you now. You can barely look at me."

"Because you lied to me! You lied, and lied and lied! Could you feel everything I felt? My heart in pain when I was struck by the arrow, my fear? Could you feel it all?"

He hesitates, but then slowly nods. "I feel what you feel."

"You're the worst Mavian I've ever met," you hissed. "How could you?"

"I had no other choice, y/n!" His voice cracks as he raises it. "San has never been happier. He's always been stuck in his ways of hatred and anger, but he finally pulled out of it. He looked at you and saw happiness. So I didn't mind staying by your side silently, watching over you as an acquaintance. I reveled in it because I could still be close to you. And when I found out Seonghwa was Fated to you too, I accepted it. I just wanted everyone to be happy. There wasn't any more reason to complicate things."

You want to punch your thoughts into him, make him understand that what he did was honorable, but not okay. That you would have rather known about his relationship to you, and his secrets he kept. That you would have accepted any relationship between you two, whatever he liked to feel comfortable. But there he stands, staring at you as if you're in the wrong. As if you are the pushy one. Sometimes you wish you weren't as eager to find out the truth. Sometimes you wish curiosity wasn't one of your main characteristics. But your craving to know just won't stop. Not even now.

"Can I ask you something? Did you ever care about me, Yeosang? Did you ever want to have any relations?"

He sucks his teeth, "Lady–"

"Answer honestly. You owe me that much."

His hand grips the edge of the dresser next to him. "I… I was the only one who voted for you to be gone."

tags: @teezers99 @downbadreading (?) @takoyakibinnie @vanishingboots @katelynnsqueendom @baguette-atiny @atinytease @kpopnightingale @bettyschwallocksyee @captainjoongiekissme @renapersa @oficialhwa @k-pop-trash-99​ 

[cooloddball]

me: gives you very uncommon words that you are highly unlikely to have in your wip

you: ah, i am sorry i do not have those😚

me: how dARE--

let's try............. car?

okay i have a lot of “car” mentions in my lestappen wip so here you go

Thinking of Max had become intrinsically fundamental for Charles’ sanity. Infact, it could be argued that the mere thought of being next to Max lately, feeling his big strong arm around his waist as they took photos for the qualifying session or for the podium propelled Charles to fight harder than his car was allowing him to. Let it  be known, however, that Charles wanted nothing more than to beat Max, that’s how it had been their entire lives and that is how it would always be. Max’s encouragement was like music to his ears and the thoughts of that night in Austin was still etched deep in Charles’ soul. The feeling of being in Max’s arms again—safe and loved—was like a drug; a drug he wanted to be hooked on forever. He wanted nothing more than to have that again; to feel his plush pink lips on his skin—every inch of it and not just his forehead. He wanted, no, he needed it like he needed air.

That’s why he was suffocating. There was a  crippling pressure in his lungs as he helplessly watched Max kiss his girlfriend, languid and slow. The way his hand was gently running through her hair as the other hand held her waist, his broad strong body pinning her against the back wall of the club. Charles watched from the balcony, grinding his teeth as hot tears blinded his eyes and his fingers dug deep into the soft flesh of his palm. The ugly green feeling blooming in his chest was unbearable and wanted nothing more than to rip his heart out. Better yet, he wanted nothing more than to drag her trim body, yanking her by the hair away, from Max. His Max.

Mine

His chest felt tighter as he watched Max pull away and scoop her up on his shoulder; she squealed making Max laugh out loud as he walked towards the waiting car. Charles watched as Max let her down gently and held open the back passenger door for her. The way he spanked her barely there ass as she entered the car getting another ugly squeal from her. Charles wanted to die. How he missed those big hands on his body, touching every part of it even parts that no one has ever dared touch before; parts that only Max had touched. He stood rooted, tears welling down his face,  watching in utter dismay as Max closed her door and jogged to the opposite side of the car, and opened his door. Before Max got in, he looked up at Charles, their eyes locked. Max waved, or maybe he didn’t, Charles couldn’t tell from his blurry vision and the loud thudding in his ears. Charles’ heart stopped for a fraction of a second, everything stood still save for the smile on Max’s face as he stepped into the waiting car next to her and then the car was disappearing into the street. 

#asks #lestappen #lestappen fic #wip word game #xiaoluclair

[milestellerpornstache]

for you, i would ruin myself (a million little times) — how hangman met rooster.

—————

they shook hands in nevada the summer of 2010.

it reminded jake of grabbing onto the live wire fencing that ran around the ranch his grandparents owned in his early teenage years; electric, a stab to the heart. they were all younger then, and they still thought the world was built to be conquered by them and them alone.

he knew rooster would be something vicious, something dangerous. it excited him inexplicably.

they both wanted a grandeur beyond their capabilities, the illusion of youth invincibility stretching a tense cord between them until it stretched too thin. rooster wanted to be the best and jake wanted to be better.

it was no surprise they were always bound to snap.

jake enrolled at top gun with a one-track mind and little else than the clothes on his back. he was there to graduate and finish at the top of his class and friends weren’t on his list of priorities. he doesn’t predict the heavy-breathed hookup with bradley “rooster” bradshaw in a hastily-booked, darkened motel room of all damned people.

it was an accident, is what he told himself. a night in vegas on a saturday after a long day of flying on base led to loose inhibitions and he was never one to not give into his desires. even if he was, he knew he wouldn’t have stopped, still.

if anything, it was a one night stand. or, it should have been. one night became two and two devolved into something as familiar as his own body. they never talked about it in the light, and jake never stayed after dark. there was something unspoken and he didn’t poke that bear.

until jake forgot to think with his head and rooster stained his life like an overturned cartridge of night-black ink. and the stain became insatiable.

all it took was moments of after sex more tender than it should have been. all it took was their secretive glances shared like notes passed between schoolyard friends. all it took was hearing his given name fall from his lips in a split-second of ecstasy and he crumbled into dust.

he wanted more than parking lot touches beneath an orange street lamp’s glow. he yearned to see rooster with the lights on, to see him intimately and deliberately.

like the idiot he was, he asked for something he could never dream of receiving.

every painstaking wall that had fallen for him rebuilt itself in a single moment. rooster wasn’t ready— he never said it, but jake knew.

he never said anything after that, either.

they graduated and jake heard rooster would be stationed in key west. one thousand six hundred and ninety miles away from where he would be sent.

it should have been easy to get over such a fleeting affair. and yet every attempt at intimacy afterward felt like a fraction of what he knew things had been. knowing he would never see rooster again should have shut the case, but it never did.

the cycle repeats.

almost a decade later, rooster walks through the door of the beachside bar in civilian clothing and that cool expression that he didn’t know he missed so badly. all he says are four words but they make his blood turn to ice.

“hangman,” he begins, and his words are hesitant if anything at all. he ghosts over adjectives the way he used to play his cards so close.

he does it still.

“you look…good.” he says it like it’s hard to say and jake feels every single memory and chokeheld feeling rise to the surface of his skin like oil on rain-slick pavement. it wasn’t fair, but they were never ones to play clean.

“i am good, rooster,” he responds, because it’s all he can say. rooster looks at him like he’s obnoxious and it feels like no time has passed at all. jake looks up and smiles. “i’m very good.”

this time, the cycle breaks.

“don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby / look at this godforsaken mess that you’ve made me / you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else” — illicit affairs by taylor swift

#top gun: maverick #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangster #top gun maverick #hangman #rooster #rooster x hangman #top gun #glen powell #miles teller #hangman x rooster #rach writes for fun #these bitches gay #good for them #jake seresin #bradley bradshaw

[jokatsuya]

Good boy

Sherlock x reader / Sherlock x Fem!reader

Wordcount: 1051

Warnings: actually none as long as you are not a high functioning sociopath (if you are: Watch out! It’s a little cute at some point.)

Summary: (Y/n) accidentally calls Sherlock an interesting pet name, whereupon something happens that she really didn't expect. How will Sherlock handle the situation?

A/n: It's me again and of course I have another story for you guys. So lie back and enjoy this little work of mine. At this point also a thank you to the already received requests. Each one makes it even more fun for me and hopefully you can enjoy them as much as I do. Yours JoKatsuya

>>I need some. Get me some. Now! Immediately!<<, Sherlock comes shooting out from beside me, nearly scaring me to death, whereupon I wince and pull my arms towards me, accidentally hitting one of my hands in his face.

>>You know you're not supposed to scare me like that, Sherlock!<<, I drive at him still in shock, but this time with more anger in my undertone.

When I finally turn to him though, all I see is him rubbing his nose and blinking rapidly several times. Wait, was that me? >>Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I...I...didn't mean to! Do you need a cold pack? Or something else?<<, I ask him hastily in concern, taking his big hands out of his face to survey the possible injury. Fortunately, nothing is visible so far, which is why I now eye the tall man in front of me with squinted eyes reprovingly. How often do I have to tell him that he shouldn't always appear next to me so suddenly?

>>Be a good boy and don't do that again. As sorry as I am right now, God knows how much, but it had to come so far!<<, I rebuke him with now raised finger, which he examines with narrowed eyebrows and looks back and forth between him and me again and again. Unexpectedly, I do the same to him until he breaks the silence with a slightly confused sounding question: >>What did you call me?<<

>>A good boy.<<, another voice suddenly sounds from the door between the stairwell and the living room. Wait, what? Unpleasantly, that just slipped out, whereupon I feel the blush rise to my face. Jesus, this is embarrassing.

Sherlock and I turn simultaneously towards the source of the noise and immediately catch sight of John, who is standing there with an amused grin and his arms on his hips.

>>What?<<, Sherlock answers John with a dramatic high undertone and looks at me again. Well, I guess I had really said that out loud, a most unpleasant mistake.

Just as I'm about to move out of the way, Sherlock holds me back by the arm. Keep calm (y/n), it wasn't meant disrespectfully, nor did you mean to insult him in any way with it, in whatever way he might take it.

With a lurch, I lean back against the armchair and draw in a sharp breath as Sherlock hovers over me, bent close. In fact, close, very close. I feel his breath hitting my neck, giving me a pleasant shiver from the back of my neck down my spine. After a few seconds, I finally dare to return his intense gaze, which I can feel all too clearly on me.

>>I'm...a leave...coming soon...Hudson...<<, I catch fractionally before I hear a creak of the door and automatically slide a little further together.

>>You praised me like such a little dog? Am I Anderson, who can't get along without something like that?<<, he asks so quickly that I can barely follow him in my slightly dazed state, abruptly moving away from me as he wildly gestures to give his words more expression, jumping up and down a bit. Gestures that I will probably never really understand about him. But actually these are quite cute. He really seems like a little puppy that just had a huge bone put in front of its snout and immediately taken away. A smile slips across my lips at these thoughts, which immediately makes Sherlock's head swing to me.

>>Actually, you really are like an excited dog, or much more like a puppy.<<, I giggle, by now beginning to be master of myself again. As a result, I earn a deep enervated groan, from the tall well-built man in front of me, who eyes me critically.

>>John?!<<, he suddenly calls out, but must disappointingly realize that his, as he calls him, assistant, or as others would put it, best friend does not react. His face becomes even grimmer. Actually quite cute. With three steps, I'm now standing right in front of him again and looking directly into his face, where a small bruise is starting to form on his nose.

>>He just left. Didn't you catch that? If I remember correctly, he said something about Mrs. Hudson. Sit down and I'll get you something cold.<<, I order him and push him down on the couch. Just as I'm about to leave for the kitchen, he pulls me onto his lap, which causes me to cry out in shock.

>>How am I supposed to notice when my girlfriend calls me a puppy after punching me in the face?<<, I draw in my breath sharply. It's the first time he's directly called me his girlfriend. He usually only ever paraphrased our relationship, which was completely pointless since everyone could see that there was something going on between the two of us.

>>What did you say?<<, I now ask him, brushing one of his dark stray curls out of his forehead.

>>Nothing.<<, he quickly replies, apparently only now realizing what exactly he just said, which is why he immediately pushes me off his lap again and goes to the window.

>>Finally<<, he speaks quietly to himself and then walks towards his old familiar black armchair, on which he plops down. Even though we are now basically back at the beginning, I can't get the grin off my face.

Out of the corner of my eye I see how Sherlock looks at me in a jerk and examines me questioningly, before his head finally turns back to me directly afterwards and he inquires about my behavior: >>Why are you grinning like that?<<

>>If I had known that I could thus penetrate your shell..., I would have done it sooner and especially more often.<<, I confess with a triumphant face.

>>What shell?<<, Greg's voice rings out in confusion, just entering.

>>Nothing. Now tell me who died, Gregory! I've been waiting for this all day.<<, Sherlock demands jitterily, seemingly having completely forgotten about what happened just now, or rather, in my guess, repressed it. I'll let him win this round, but he shouldn't think he can do it forever. Before I win, however, he should first learn Greg's name, before he kills him at some point, so that I can still have a chance.

Strictly do not: copy, claim or translate those stories of mine anywhere else  

#Sherlock #Sherlock holmes #sherlock x reader #sherlock bbc #sherlock x y/n #sherlock x you #sherlock fic #sherlock fanfiction #benedict cumberbatch #Benedict Cumberbatch x y/n #Benedict Cumberbatch x you #Benedict Cumberbatch x reader #lestrade #inspector lestrade #greg lestrad #john watson #bbc #dr john watson