#god of war incorrect quotes

[harveywritings92]

[GOW Modern au: Brok is eating spaghetti-O’s out of a mug for breakfast, and finds Atreus, Thrud, Angerboda and Skjoldr skipping school and watching the Price is right in his garage.]

Brok, to Atreus: Hey kid! what’s going on?

Atreus: Teenage rebellion.

Brok: Fuck yeah! stick it to the old people!

Sindri, slaps Brok: Knock that off! (to the kids.) And you all have leave, I just got off the phone with Mimir. Kratos is furious, your parents are all looking for you...

Skjoldr: Whoa, Even mine?

Sindri:....

Sindri: I’m sorry. Who are you again?

Skjoldr, dejected: Never mind...*Thrud pats him on the back.* 

Thrud: Hey, I thought you said your uncles were cool?

Atreus: I said Brok’s cool.

Sindri: Hey, I’m cool, I made you all S’mores! {Hold out a tray for the kids.) Take them and go! 

Skjoldr, takes one: Score!

Angerboda: Thank-you.

Thrud: Thanks.

{Atreus was about to take one, but Sindri pulls the tray back.]

Atreus: Sorry I said you weren’t cool...(Sindri let’s Atreus take his S’more.} Thanks Sin.

Brok: Enjoy them sweets while you can kids... Your parent’s are gonna to wear yer guts for garters when they’re done wit’ya!

#god of war incorrect quotes #God of War #God of War 4 #Atreus #gow atreus #gow angrboda #gow thrud #gow skjoldr #sindri #gow sindri #gow brok #god of war mimir #god of war kratos #Source: weeds #with some adlib added

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Freyr: Why is she leaving...

Freya: ... Freyr she doesn't live here. She needs to go home

Freyr, near tears: Oh

Freya: Would it make you feel better if she has a place to rest here.

Freyr *Now in tears*: Yes

#incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes god of war #god of war incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes x you #incorrect quotes x reader #god of war #god of war ragnarok #god of war x you #god of war x reader #god of war x y/n #gow ragnarok freyr #Freyr x you #Freyr x reader #freyr god of war

[astaroth1357]

Lucifer: Satan.

Lucifer: I am your father.

Satan: *pins Lucifer back against the wall with a butter knife to the throat*

Satan: Take. THAT. BACK.

Lucifer: 😐

And from then on, Satan was known as the 4th brother.

#i feel in my bones #that lucifer tried to call satan his son only once #and satan shut that down so hard god himself winced #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me nightbringer #omnb #star wars reference

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Ares: I just stubbed my toe.

Ares: But did I cry like a baby?

Ares: Of course not.

Ares: A baby don't have the lung capacity for the sound I just made.

#mythology memes #incorrect quotes #incorrect mythology #incorrect mythology quotes #greek mythology #incorrect greek mythology #incorrect greek myths #greek myths #greek myth #incorrect greek god quotes #incorrect greek gods #greek gods #greek god #ares #ares greek god #ares greek mythology #ares deity #ares god of war #greek myth memes #greek mythology quotes #greek mythology memes #ancient greek mythology

[lenaleviosa]

*in the underworld*

Achilles: “So how’d u guys end up winning the war?”

Greek soldier: “Horse”

Achilles: “A horse, what do you mean a horse?”

Greek soldier: “Like a really big horse”

Achilles: “Was it like some god disguised as a horse that helped the Greeks?”

Greek Soldier: “Nuh-uh, it was a wooden horse”

Achilles: “I do not get it, what would u need a wooden horse for?”

Greek soldier: “We gifted it to the Trojans.”

Achilles: “You gifted it to the Trojans? Why would you built a horse and then give it to your enemy? Did you even win the war?” *looks at Patroclus*

Patroclus: “Don’t look at me, for once I’m just as clueless as you are”

#greek mythology #achilles #the song of achilles #patrochilles #patroclus #tsoa #greek myths #incorrect tsoa quotes #achillesxpatroclus #greek gods #trojan war #underworld

[severe-kitty]

Mia: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions Killian?

Killian No.

Niko: I do.

Mia: I know, Niko.

Niko: I miss Bran.

Mia: I know, Niko.

#book series #bookstagram #book recommendations #dark romance #incorrect quotes #legacy of gods #rina kent #rina kent books #twisted lies #twisted love #niko and bran #nikolai sokolov #brandon king #god of pain #god of war #god of fury

[loki-stuff]

Being: i’m gonna kill you!

Loki: oh really? how original. i’ve died so many times my gravestone says BRB instead of RIP on it

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #marvel #mcu #loki series #loki mcu #loki god of mischief #loki god of stories #incorrect quotes #loki of asgard #loki god of time #loki friggachild #the avengers #avengers endgame #avengers infinity war #thor dark world #thor ragnarok #thor

[riotcat103]

Achilles: I have to ok?! I need to restore my honor! Patroclus: I'm sorry can your "honor" make you orgasm? Achilles:..no? Patroclus: exactly so it's either me or-

#incorrect tsoa quotes #tsoa #tsoa achilles #tsoa patroclus #achilles and patroclus #patroclus #achilles #patrochilles #the song of achilles #greek gods #greek mythology #ancient greek #the iliad #trojan war #madeline miller #gay men #old man yaoi #gay gay homosexual gay #idk lmao #same #accurate #lmaooo #idk any other tags #idk anymore

[im-still-watching-anime]

tsunade: i’m quitting as hokage so you have to be the next one

kakashi: what? lmao no

tsunade: you’re the only candidate who would pardon sasuke, if you don’t do it he stays in prison

kakashi: ……are you using the kids to blackmail me into becoming hokage?

tsunade: yep. have fun being in charge.

#naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto incorrect quotes #hatake kakashi #tsunade senju #uchiha sasuke #tsunade: sasuke has to stay in prison so i can get someone else to take this god awful job #using kakashi’s kids against him😔 #tragic #kakashi: i became hokage to personally lead the post war restructuring and stabilize konoha #kakashi (honest): i became hokage because they were making my kids SAD #no 1 father for real

[emmedoesntdomath]

tony, loudly clearing his throat and shaking out a VERY long sheet of paper: my dearest rhodes

rhodey, glancing up: yes?

tony, assuming a strong stance like he’s about to serenade him: my dearest platypus, words cannot express my adoration for you, nor my dedication to your side. nay, but I shall attempt anyways. your hair is silky like a really nice pillow, your eyes as deep as a river. your nose was drawn by the gods, and your mouth was painted with a rose. 

rhodey, turning to tony’s literal girlfriend, eyes wide: you aren’t going to stop him???

pepper, tony’s aforementioned literal girlfriend, turning the page in her book: if I stop him now, he’ll just start over

tony, getting louder: YOUR HANDS-

#rhodey is over this shit #and god I love him for it #marvel mcu #marvel #iron man movies #iron man #war machine #iron patriot #rhodey #james rhodes #rhodey rhodes #tony stark #tony stank #pepper x tony #pepper potts #pepperony #marvel incorrect quotes #emme’s incorrect quotes

[thingsphoenix21]

Ares: Who's the toughtest god you know? Phobos and Deimos: Mom. Ares: Who's the thoughest male god you know? Phobos and Deimos: You..? Ares: BOo ya!

#incorrect greek gods #greek myths #greek gods #greek incorrect quotes #greek mythology #ancient greek #ancient greece #ares #aphrodite #phobos #deimos #phobos and deimos mom's boys #ares just trying to prove a point #but aphrodite is freaking dite #dite is a war goddess #aphrodite x ares #ares and aphrodite

[harveywritings92]

Kratos, to Mimir: My father never believed in me. Well, I'm not gonna make the same mistake. From now on I'm gonna be kinder to my son, and meaner to my friends.[he walks outside to where he forced Atreus to run laps] Quit runnin' son. I just want to give you a big hug.

Atreus's mind: It's gotta be a trick, run like the wind. *Atreus runs from Kratos who is trying to hug him.*

#s: the simpsons #God of War #god of war incorrect quotes #god of war kratos #god of war mimir #god of war atreus

[multi-fandom-imagine]

#incorrect quotes god of war #god of war incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes x you #incorrect quotes x reader #god of war #god of war x you #god of war x reader #god of war ragnorak #god of war x y/n #Freyr #gow ragnarok freyr #freyr x you #gow freyr #freyr x reader

[bibliophilliqueee]

I hope to be talked about the way Patroclus talks of Achilles.

#tsoa patroclus #tsoa textpost #tsoa madeline miller #incorrect tsoa quotes #love #patroclus #achilles #the song of achilles #patrochilles #romance #greek mythology #greek gods #homers iliad #homers odyssey #greek heroes #trojan war #gay couple #love books #romance books #trending #popular books #bookblr #spilled thoughts #thoughts #desire #madeline miller

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Ares: "Profanity is so low class."

Ares: Apologies, my good bitch. What seems to be the fuck?

#mythology memes #incorrect quotes #incorrect mythology #incorrect mythology quotes #greek mythology #incorrect greek mythology #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek god quotes #greek gods #greek god #ares #ares greek mythology #ares greek god #ares god of war #ares deity #greek myth memes #greek myths #greek mythology quotes #ancient greek mythology

[padawansuggest]

Cody: -and what can I do to repay your kindness… for… the poison? *having just asked a witch in the forest to give him something that will get rid of his landlord’s abusive husband that isn’t traceable to him or her*

Obi-Wan: *tapping his chin in thought* your firstborn child, I suppose?

Cody: I’m… infertile.

Obi-Wan: Great! I can’t get pregnant anyways. I know of an orphanage nearby though, we can check it out on our third date?

Cody: …why didn’t you just ask to go on a date with me?

Obi-Wan: I’m already planning to pursue that, I just wanted to test the waters and see if you were interested in kids.

Cody: Ohhhh, okay, yeah, I want kids. I have like twelve siblings, twenty-three cousins, and as an adult they are starting to reproduce on their own, I totally want a huge family.

Obi-Wan: *blushing* How huge?

Cody: *shrugs* I mean, I’m twenty five, I could totally beat my dad’s record if we start adopting soon. My older uncle works in the social system, he’ll get us in to visit the kids and see who fits. I’m thinking first date. Seeya this Friday, sweetheart!

Obi-Wan: *blushing super hard while Cody runs off to go poison a man, looking over to where Anakin and Ahsoka, his first adopted kids are hiding in a bush* Wtf just happened?

Anakin: *wheezing, tears leaking out* Oh my god, I think the firstborn rouse finally got you in over your head, oh my god, Soka, Soka, hold me I’m dying-

Ahsoka: *laughing just as hard* Oh my god, Ani, we have a stepdad!

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #anakin skywalker #clone wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #commander cody #ahsoka tano #codywan #yes Cody eventually shows up with Rex who demands to be adopted too #Obi was just messing with him till the third date joke lmao now he’s married #Cody is infertile cause of the deal Jango made with the god of fertility to make him some kids #but the rest of the family are dealing with it with science