Apollo: *crying* It was so hard! I couldn't take it man!
Artemis: *patting him on the back* Yeah life can be hard sometimes.
Apollo: Life?
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Ares: I just stubbed my toe.
Ares: But did I cry like a baby?
Ares: Of course not.
Ares: A baby don't have the lung capacity for the sound I just made.
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<Hermes as a lawyer>
𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗲𝘀: Your honor, you weren't there at the scene so shut the fuck up.
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Odysseus: Bad news, someone ran over Agamemnon!
Achilles: I thought you said that it was bad news
Agamemnon *on the ground with some broken bones*: I hate you
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If I was rescuing my wife from the underworld by leading her out on the one condition that I not look behind me to see if she's following me lest I condemn her back there for eternity, I simply would have turned around to check but turn so quickly Hades wouldn't catch me doing it. Rip to Orpheus but I'm different.
(This point made by a child I babysit, edited into meme format by myself)
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If I was Paris I would have just given the apple to Hermes and see how everyone would react
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Achilles: See I'm straight but if there was a man I would marry it'd be Patroclus.
Briseis: How do you feel about that, Pat?
Patroclus:
Patroclus: It's not helping with the rumors.
Briseis: I think the kiss you guys shared in my tent isn't helping with the rumors.
Achilles: Yeah I just hate that he didn't give me enough tongue.
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𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Can you bring me the hoe?
𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗮: For sure!
(minutes later)
𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗮:
𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿:
𝗭𝗲𝘂𝘀: Why am I here?
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Artemis: I love women in a feminist way but also in a gay way
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