#incorrect greek myths
Persephone: Hades, are you okay?
Hades, crying: yeah im just chopping onions
Persephone: Honey those are potatoes
Hades, still crying: Heh, yeah
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Poseidon, pointing: May I sit there?
Amphitrite: That's my lap.
Poseidon: Doesn't answer my question.
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Hermes: Yeah, but as far as plans go, this is not a good one.
Apollo: Hermes, this was your plan.
Hermes: I didn't think you'd actually say yes.
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Persephone: I don’t have a seat-
Hades: Come, you can sit on my lap!
Zeus: I don’t have a seat either…
Hera: Then stand.
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Hebe: What happens when you die?
Zeus: well, when your heart stops beating i guess your soul leaves your body and-
Hebe: No no no
Hebe: What happens when YOU die
Hebe:Like who gets all your stuff?
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Aphrodite: hey athena! Holy shit! I did not mean to catch you bathing!
Athena fully suited in armor chilling in her bathtub : oh that's fine.
Aphrodite: what! Why are you wearing that?!!!
Athena: armor? And I feel really naked and uneasy without armor so that's why I wear it in-
Aphrodite: YOUR SUPPOSE TO!!!!!
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𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀: I don't have a seat.
𝗔𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼: Sit on my lap.
𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗮: I don't have a seat either.
𝗔𝗿𝗲𝘀: Then keep standing.
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ares: things have actually been going really well with athena. Our friendship is in a really good place.
ares: last week i said, “did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” instead of saying, “shut up, ares,” she said, “okay”.
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Hades: *seductively takes off glasses*
Persephone: *blushes* Haha... what?
Hades: You're really fucking blurry.
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Hades: My new wife is above ground, my new wife's gone.
Hermes: Hades, there were people that were dying.
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Zues: men, women, enbies, as long as it isn’t my wife it’s fuckable
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Apollo: what do you look for in a guy?
Artemis: bro i look away
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Patroclus: Hey would you do me-
Patroclus: -a favour..
Achilles: I stand by my statement
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Apollo: I have no idea what I’m doing, I just know that I’m doing it well.
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Dionysus: I love your scarf.
Ariadne: It is strong enough to choke a man.
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Odysseus: Nothing will keep me from returning to my family
*record scratch/freeze frame*
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Zeus: Oh shit, I killed my pregnant lover
Zeus, peering in the mess: Huh, what's that thing?
*looks at a lump of flesh with half formed face*
Zeus: Is-was that my son?
*lump of flesh stirs*
Zeus: Yay, he's alive!
Zeus, thinking about Hera: Oh shit, he's alive
Zeus: Well, I can hide him!
Zeus: In my thigh!
Hera, suspicious: Why does your thigh look so...big?
Zeus, sweating nervously: Well, I look fabulous don't I?
*strikes a pose*
Sometime in the future,
Hera: Why are you drinking 'Nutritional food for to-be mothers'?
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ares: things are really starting to happen between me and aphrodite.
ares: hey, aphrodite.
aphrodite: hey, ares.
ares: see, before it was just 'hey', now it's 'hey, ares'.
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Hermes: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
Apollo: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
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