#incorrect greek gods
Athena: Dying sucks, how do you living beings cope with mortality?
Odysseus: Violent outbursts
Achilles: General sluttiness
Diomedes: Thanks to denial, I’m immortal!
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Poseidon, pointing: May I sit there?
Amphitrite: That's my lap.
Poseidon: Doesn't answer my question.
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Persephone: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.
Hades: And I need you to be less vague and weird.
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Hermes: Yeah, but as far as plans go, this is not a good one.
Apollo: Hermes, this was your plan.
Hermes: I didn't think you'd actually say yes.
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Artemis: Hermes, keep an eye on Apollo today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Hermes: Sure, I’d love to see Apollo get punched.
Artemis: Try again.
Hermes, sighing: I will stop Apollo from getting punched.
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Orion: Every time I see Artemis my heart clenches and I get all nervous 😳
Aphrodite: Omg, I think you’re in love with her!! I’m so happy for you guys!!
Artemis: Every time I see Orion my heart clenches and I get all nervous 😳
Apollo: Stay away from him, it sounds like you’re having an allergic reaction
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Ares: Why doesn’t Aphrodite find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Dionysus: What do you look like when you bite your lip?
Ares: *bites lip*
Dionysus: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?
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Persephone: I don’t have a seat-
Hades: Come, you can sit on my lap!
Zeus: I don’t have a seat either…
Hera: Then stand.
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Dionysus: What do you like in bed?
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Aphrodite: hey athena! Holy shit! I did not mean to catch you bathing!
Athena fully suited in armor chilling in her bathtub : oh that's fine.
Aphrodite: what! Why are you wearing that?!!!
Athena: armor? And I feel really naked and uneasy without armor so that's why I wear it in-
Aphrodite: YOUR SUPPOSE TO!!!!!
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𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀: I don't have a seat.
𝗔𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼: Sit on my lap.
𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗮: I don't have a seat either.
𝗔𝗿𝗲𝘀: Then keep standing.
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Hestia: My mom got a divorce and I asked how she felt and she said,
Hestia: "I thought I had an anxiety disorder, but it turns out it was just your father."
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ares: things have actually been going really well with athena. Our friendship is in a really good place.
ares: last week i said, “did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” instead of saying, “shut up, ares,” she said, “okay”.
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Ares: Just be yourself.
Moros: 'Be myself'? Ares, I have one day to win Elpis over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Dionysus: Couple weeks.
Prometheus: Six months.
The Keres: Jury’s still out.
Moros: See, Ares?
Moros: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?
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Hades: *seductively takes off glasses*
Persephone: *blushes* Haha... what?
Hades: You're really fucking blurry.
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Greek Gods as Cursed photos in my phone (pt.1)
I'm literally so sick but I'll be fine and I know when I'm back to normal I'm gonna regret this
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Hades: My new wife is above ground, my new wife's gone.
Hermes: Hades, there were people that were dying.
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Moros: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
The Squad: Awwww-
Moros: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The Squad: Oh.
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Zues: men, women, enbies, as long as it isn’t my wife it’s fuckable
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