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#Just funny shit and loopholes
wawataka · 8 months
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i've been trying to screen record the spanish dub for mob psycho so i can put the episodes up on a drive. but unfortunately for me crunchyroll has now done the thing where if you screen record, the screen will just turn black . any normal person would have just been like ah whatever and given up. but unfortunately for crunchyroll, i am not a normal person
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If I absolutely have to feel like shit could it at least be cause I let it happen again instead of cause I feel like I didn't do good enough
#beatin myself over the head w/ a stick like YOU. DO. NOT. NEED. HIS. APPROVAL.#he's just tryin to dig in any insecurity he can get his goddamn hands on it doesn't mean shit#like yea i know i'm ~ outta practice ~ cause that literally just means i'm not performin at a professional fucking level#you couldn't tell the difference if you stopped tRYIN TO SHOVE THINGS DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT FFS#i shoulda just walked out but it. doesn't even register til much later cause of all the praise n cause i'm probably dissociating like hell#like. are you fucking negging me#yes. yes he is#or some other adjacent tactic that rly shouldn't work on me anymore but here we are#it'd be funny if it wasn't so damn pathetic#which is smth i say a lot lately#i have no idea if i should like......try to give myself some credit for the few boundaries i did manage to hold#cause i mean i did......refuse to sleep anywhere near him w/o surveillance#especially not in the damn car cause i could end up literally anywhere#my mistake was compromisin on the sex stuff cause when i say no it becomes a negotiation n i always end up agreeing to smth#which woulda been fine if he didn't then go on to be a dick about that something#n also if it wasn't pretty fucked up to take it as a negotiation startin point#if i say i don't wanna have sex you know damn well i mean the entire thing no matter how many loopholes your definition has#hard limits aren't the fucking startin point for a compromise they're the bottom line#but he knows all that. he's not stupid he just doesn't care.#meanwhile i'm a fucking idiot for lettin him get away w/ it#i was doin so well. i mean sure i was losin my fucking mind but i wasn't even struggling not to go to him#why can't he just fucking leave me alone if i'm not even a good fuck anymore#spdrvent
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snoopyrps · 2 years
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✨ fuck ozempic ✨
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eddiesxangel · 5 months
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Hey!
I’m really bad at explaining stuff so bare with me haha😂
I was thinking that reader is a virgin and has never even kissed anyone, then she starts dating Eddie and he’s her first everything…
Then someday while they’re having sex, Wayne walks in on them and then he tries to talk to them about being safe and something like that 😅
The Sweet Days in the Shire | Eddie Munson x F!Reader
omg, this is so heavily inspired by my own experience...Are you in my walls? this is literally my experience with my current bf now...How did you know?!
Word count: 7.2k oops
Cw: This is NOT a fic about corruption kink. Angst, fluff, f!reader, readers first time (oral, fingering, p in v penetration) , reader and Eddie are 22. Happy ending 🤭
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*Five years ago*
"I'm going to die alone," You groaned.
Were you being dramatic? Yes. But you were seventeen and truly felt like the most undesirable girl. No one had ever shown any interest in you. Your best guy friend, Eddie, was trying to convince you otherwise.
You had known Eddie since first grade but only got to know him once you went into tenth grade.
"Come on, don't be like that" Eddie spoke.
You were hanging out in the Shire, a.k.a. Eddie's bedroom, reviewing the new DND campaign, making sure there were no significant loopholes the others could get through.
"It's true! No guy had ever liked me like that, or if they have, they're all weird, and I don't like them back... Remember Lorne? He told me he liked me out of the blue when I hadn't spoken one word to him.'"
Eddie chuckled.
"It's not funny, Eddie! What was I supposed to say? I hardly knew the guy."
"I'm sorry. You're right. It's not funny." But he was still laughing.
"Ugggggggh," you rested your head back in defeat.
"So what if non of these shitty high school guys aren't interested? You're way out of their league."
"You're just saying that as my best friend."
"I'm really not. They are all douchebags or interested in anything other than getting a girlfriend."
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Where do you fall in that line?"
"I'm different." He smirked.
All you could do was roll your eyes. Of course, Eddie was different. He was Eddie. Your Eddie. Eddie, who you sprung a teeny tiny crush on within the last couple of months.
"I feel like such a loser, Eds. I'm seventeen and haven't even had my first kiss." You admit, softly.
"What?" This caught Eddie by surprise.
"You heard me." You mumbled.
"Impossible."
"Well, I'm not lying." You snap.
"Don't believe you"
"Well, you don't think I would have told you if some guy came up to me and planted one on me?" You folded into yourself. Succumbing to your self-depreciation.
Why didn't he believe you? Was it really that hard to believe that you were such a loser that no one has even ever tried to kiss you?
"Okayyy. So what if I helped you with that?" he pushed you back up.
"What?"
"I mean-shit- you obviously don't have to; you probably don't want to kiss me. We are just friends. But if you want to get it over with, you can...-I can help you." He rambled.
"Okay," You answered without thinking. You've wanted to kiss Eddie for months. You wanted him to be your first.
"Yea?"
You nodded your head, afraid of what might come out of your mouth next.
"Uh-okay"
You both shift, so you're facing one another. You don't move, unsure of how to approach this. Eddie was much more experienced than you. He probably already lost his virginity at this point. But the two of you never spoke about that.
So here you were, sitting on his bedroom floor, with your eyes closed, like a statue, until Eddie leaned in. You felt his warm, plush lips against yours. Butterflies soared in your stomach. It was just like everyone always described it to be. You felt the connection, that spark. The kiss felt like it lasted hours when, in reality, it was nothing more than a peck. But as far as first kisses go, you were convinced it was the best.
"Wow," you let slip when he pulled away.
Eddie chuckled softly and leaned back on the bed like nothing had happened.
Your stomach dropped at the realization that you and Eddie were, in fact, just friends. He didn't feel the connection you had.
"Thanks," you managed to get out without your voice cracking in disappointment.
"Anytime, Pip." He smiled and then went back to the DND campaign...
To add more salt to your wound, Eddie was arm-in-arm with Veronica a week later. Eddie had never even mentioned interest in her. You spoke every day. You never once hear him display any interest in a girl... another girl when not even six days ago he was kissing you in his bedroom. And that's when you decided to distance yourself from Eddie Munson.
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*Present Day*
After a very long four years of college out of state, you were back in your hometown of Hawkins, Indiana. Freshly twenty-two, you finally blossomed into the young woman you were meant to be. At college, you got to find yourself and your people. Once you had found your confidence, you grew into yourself. You had got a haircut that flattered your face and styled yourself with clothes that made you feel comfortable and confident. Before, it used to be all-black jeans and band tees that hid your figure. But now you find wearing skirts, dresses, and colours even fun!
You used to be a late bloomer, but now you have gained many life experiences. However, you still need help in the love department. Your college years had been your party girl era, for sure. However, nothing ever went past a makeout session in the bar because you weren't like that... you wanted to have sex with someone you trusted, who you loved. Not some random stranger.
So here you were, back home in the early days of summer, and you were out job hunting. You'd been out on Main Street, in and out of stores, looking to see who was hiring, handing out your resume for about half an hour.
The sun was scorching for this time of year, causing you to start sweating and feel uncomfortable without air conditioning. As you walked by the local record store, you noticed they were advertising a job opening, and it felt like fate. You breathed a sigh of relief as you stepped inside the cool store. The door chimes jingled, announcing to anyone who was around that a customer had arrived. The store appeared empty, with not a soul in sight.
"Hello?" Your voice filled the empty air. "Hello?" You repeated once again a minute later with no reply.
"I'm here to apply for the job?" You peek around the back of the counter. As you looked over, you noticed a slightly open door. A figure passed by, but they didn't seem to notice you. As you looked over, you noticed a slightly open door. A figure passed by, but they didn't seem to notice you.
You respectfully waited a few more minutes but were becoming impatient. You decided to round the back of the counter and knock on the door labelled Staff Only.
"Excuse me." You knock and push it open a little further so you can see inside the staff room.
You notice a young man facing away from you, wearing headphones covering his ears. The loud guitar and bass sound emanates from the headphones. It's no surprise that he couldn't hear you.
"Excuse me?" You say a little louder, but it doesn't seem helpful. You sigh and walk up to him, hoping he doesn't take a swing at you for sneaking up on him.
Apprehensively, you tap the man's shoulder twice before stepping back quickly before they can react.
"What the fuck?" They rip off the headphones, and your stomach drops as you recognize the voice. Your prediction is confirmed as Eddie turns around with a frightened look on his face.
"You can't be back h-" He cuts himself when the reality of who he was talking to hits him.
"Eddie?" you cock your head in curiosity.
"Oh my God, Pippin?" he smiled brightly.
It had been four years since the last time you saw him. You briefly crossed paths in the hallways of Hawkins High, but the two of you hadn't spoken more than a sentence to each other since the day he kissed you. It was nice to hear his voice again.
"Hi," You smiled.
Eddie swore he heard angels singing when you spoke. You looked different, good, but different. More confident. More like yourself.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"Trying to apply for the job posting. I've been waiting ten minutes in the store calling out for someone like a moron." You giggled.
"Shit, sorry, I was just on my break." He scratched the back of his head, letting his bicep flex in his tight band tee.
You tried your best not to stare at him, but your attraction to Eddie lingered. He looked really good, having filled out more and grown out more facial hair than he had in high school. He still, however, had his pretty wavy locks. They were just a bit shorter than you were used to.
"Oh, sorry, I can come back later."
"No!" He blurted out. "I mean, it's really good to see you..."
"It's nice seeing you too; it's been a long time," you shy.
"Yeah" He sighed.
"So are you the person I need to talk to about the job or..." You try to fill the awkward silence.
"Shit, yeah, I guess so. I'm, uh, the manager." He cleared his throat.
"Wow, manager, very impressive! Moving on up in the world, Munson," You laugh.
"Watch is missy; you want the job or not?" He slung his arm around your shoulder and walked you back out to the front of the store.
You couldn't help the shiver that broke through your body when his arm made contact with you. It didn't help that he also smelled delicious.
"Well, if it means I get to work alongside you? ... Yeah, I want it," You flirt.
"Oh, I see buttering up an old confidant for a job." He smirked.
"Things with Eddie returned to normal as if nothing had ever changed. Like you never left. Like he never kissed you, then broke your naive teenage heart.
"Well, the job is yours if you want it." He smiled.
"Just like that?" You ask in shock.
"Just like that. I don't wanna go through all that paperwork and boring questions. I know you, trust you. It's full-time. $5.50 an hour. So it's yours if you think you can stand working with me daily."
"I think I can manage that."
"Great. We can start training tomorrow at 10:00am."
"Deal." You reached out to shake his hand, but Eddie only stared at it like you were crazy.
"Come on, Pippin, a handshake? Who do you think I am? Bring it in." He opened his arms up to embrace you in a hug.
Pippin. No one but Eddie called you that. It was a nickname he gave you in the tenth grade because you were smaller than him... He said Pippin was the best hobbit from his favourite book.
"You know I could have robbed the store, and you wouldn't have known a thing," you quip, trying to play off the way your breath hitched when you embraced him.
Your hormones would have to chill if you were going to work together.
"That's why security cameras were invented, sweetheart."
"Oh," You shied away. You weren't as clever as you had thought.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he guides you out the door.
"Bye, Eddie." You smile.
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Over the next three weeks, you and Eddie picked up where you had left off all those years ago. Things were good, great even. The flame that had been blown out was brought back to life and hotter than ever. There was an extreme tension between the two of you.
However, you both were avoiding the elephant in the room. It was fine until it wasn't. It was eating at Eddie. He loved having you back, but needed to know why you left and ended the friendship.
You were stocking up the new supply of jazz cassettes that came in when you felt Eddie come up behind you.
"Hey, so -uh- what happened?" he leaned back on the shelving, as he crossed his arms.
"What do you mean?" you chirp. Did you do something wrong? Was the till not even?
"With us, I mean, one day we were best buds, and then the next you were just... gone. I really missed you."
Oh, so we are having this conversation. You knew it was inevitable.
"You mean you really don't know?"
"Know what?"
"God, men are dumb," you mumbled under your breath.
"Hey! I heard that"
"Good." You deadpan.
Eddie stared at you blankly.
"You kissed me, Eddie. That meant something to me. Then you were with Veronica a week later..."
"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, what?" Eddie's eyes went wide with confusion.
"Eddie..." You sighed. This conversation was giving you a headache.
"Pip, I didn't? I wouldn't. I-"
"Forget it, Eddie. It was a long time ago."
"Did you like me or something?" He genuinely asked.
"Or something," You mumbled back.
"Pip, I'm sorry I didn't know... I had no idea you liked me like that. I would have never offered to kiss you if I had known. I never wanted to lead you on."
"It's okay, Eddie. We were seventeen. I eventually got over it, but I had to not be around you to do that. I'm sorry I ran away... I missed you. Like a lot."
"Pip-" Eddie began, but a customer was ready to be rung up at the counter.
The rest of the day was busy, and your shift ended before Eddie's did today. So you quickly said goodbye and waited to talk to him the next day.
Eddie needed to make things right between you. What you had once was so good, and now it seems to be even better than before. Eddie was becoming infatuated with you. He got excited to go to work when you were on schedule. He loved making you laugh; seeing that beautiful smile across your face was his favourite pastime. He could have had that all these years, but it was all ruined for some hot piece of ass Eddie got for a few weeks in their senior year.
Eddie had met Veronica in his grade twelve English class. She was way out of his league, so when she agreed to go out with him, he was only thinking with his dick.
He was thinking about her and how she would be on his knees for him when he kissed you for funsies. He was not thinking about how it would have affected you. He was a selfish teenage boy being controlled by his hormones. Because of that, Eddie was now facing the consequences of his actions all because he wanted to get his dick wet in the twelfth grade.
“Hey Pip, can I talk to you for a sec?” Eddie greeted you when he walked in for his shift mid-afternoon.
“Sure what’s up?” Things were a little rocky since yesterday and you didn’t know where you stood.
God what was this so hard? Why did you make him nervous?
“I uh. I was hoping we could hang out… you know. Outside of work. If you wanted. I wanted to make up for being an ass.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.
"Okay." you smiled.
"Awesome! We are both off on Friday… I made sure.” Eddie said with a goofy smile. God, you were so falling for him again.
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You and Eddie have been spending time together outside work every chance you have had for the past six months. He invited you to see your old high school crowd the first few times, and then it slowly became more one-on-ones. Unfortunately for you, your ever-growing crush on Eddie had come back and was stronger than ever.
You hated yourself for falling for him again, but you couldn't help yourself. He was just so charming, boisterous, funny, and not to mention the most attractive man you've seen. Eddie was a natural flirt; he always was throwing compliments your way. He always knew how to make you blush.
That evening during closing, Eddie offered you to come over to The Shire. a.k.a his trailer. After a long, tiring day, both of you wanted some relaxation. He suggested staying in and having a cozy evening with pizza, beers, and perhaps a little weed to escape the cold November weather.
As the night progressed, it began to snow, and a snowstorm was predicted for later in the evening.
"Do you want your usual order, Pip?" Eddie turned his head to glance at you. You were standing near the front door, taking off your hat, scarf, and jacket. As he was watching you, he got lost in your graceful movements. Suddenly, he realized he was staring at you and almost bumped into his fridge.
"Yeah," you shiver. You almost thought about putting your coat back on, but that would be silly. "Can I borrow a sweater or a blanket?" You asked sweetly.
"Of course, sweetheart." Eddie didn't miss the way your nipples perked out of your low-cut t-shirt when you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to warm up, but it only emphasized your breasts.
"Where is Wayne tonight?" You asked.
"He has an overnight shift tonight; he probably just left not too long ago." He said as he disappeared into his bedroom to find you a clean hoodie.
"I'm sorry, I missed him; I haven't seen that guy in years." You huffed. You loved Wayne; he was like a second dad.
"Yeah, he keeps talking you up like I don't already know how amazing you are." He threw the black hoodie at your head.
"Hey!"
I just gave you my sweater and a compliment, I think you should be thanking me."
"Shut up and order the pizza before the storm, Munson." You laugh as you pull the sweater over your head.
You and Eddie settled in, splitting a six-pack of cheap beer and delicious pizza. You wanted to watch a movie after dinner, so Eddie found a few stashed away that he still had yet to return to Family Video.
"How do you feel about horror?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
"You know I don't like scary movies, Eds." You whine.
"Well, hate to break it to you, sweetcheeks, but this is all we got, so it's either this... or cable that will most likely be down within the next half hour if the weather keeps up." You glanced out the window, and if you didn't leave now, you were not making it home tonight. The storm had started a lot earlier than anticipated.
"Oh shit, it's awful out. I didn't think it would be this bad so soon! I should go... shit, I've been drinking, we both have! We can't drive!" You started freaking out.
"Pip, you can always crash here. I don't mind." He offered.
"Are you sure?" You twiddled with the drawstrings of the hoodie.
"Of course! You think I would let you go out there?"
"Well... no."
"We can share my bed". He said nonchalantly.
Was he insane?! You can share a bed... with him... you'll want to do things with him. You can't take the rejection again.
"Umm."
"Well, I would sleep on the pull-out couch by Wayne sleeps there."
"It's okay... we are both adults," You swallowed. "Hey, do you have any more beer?" You needed a drink. Desperately.
"Oh, so we are having one of those nights? Edie wiggled his brows at you, and you rolled your eyes in return.
"I need liquid courage for these movies you're going to put me through," You fibbed.
"Don't worry, Pip. I'll protect you."
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Two movies and many screams later, you called it. You were maxed out on the spooky stuff. Halloween was long gone, and you were supposed to be in Christmas mode.
"You can get ready for bed first. I'll follow after. Eddie offered.
You slipped into Edie's hoodie and got under the covers, realizing the sweater was long enough to be worn as a nightgown. Eddie would be none the wiser that you had forgone pants.
You called for Eddie to enter, and he got ready for bed. You tried to pretend to occupy yourself as you watched Eddie get undressed and ready for bed. He pulled his plaid pyjama pants over his boxers and forgone a shirt.
There was tension in the air, but neither of you said anything. You held your breath as Eddie turned off the bedroom light and felt the bed dip as he got in.
"Pip?" Eddie broke the silence moments later.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?'
"Sure."
"Did you ever date anyone when you went away?"
"No"
"No?"
"Well...I went on one date, and he was shorter than me..." You laughed at how ridiculous it was. You didn't even like him, but you felt bad because you agreed to give him your number when you were out dancing one night, and you'd consumed a little too much alcohol.
"How is that even possible?"
"Well, you see, Edward everyone has different heights an-"
"No, you doofus," he laughed. "how is it possible you never dated anyone? You're beautiful." He says like it’s obvious.
Eddie made you feel fluttery when he called you beautiful.
“What?”
“You’re beautiful, Pip," Eddie repeated. "You’re a total catch; how are you still single?”
“Guess I never met the right guy…”
“Oh... " It was quiet for a moment then Eddie spoke again. "I know you always said you uh- wanted to you know…. Wait for the right guy and all… so have you slept with anyone since you were gone?”
“Eddie!” you cry, covering your face with your hands. You’re so mortified by this conversation.
“I’m sorry! Can’t blame a guy for his morbid curiosity.” you could hear the smirk in his voice.
“I can’t believe you remembered that. I mentioned it once six years ago.”
“I remember every thing when it comes to you.”
You felt his fingers intertwine with yours.
“Eddie…” you whisper.
“Yea”
"Ask me again."
"Are you still a virgin?"
You let out a deep sigh before you answered. “I’ve given it a lot of thought. And I want you to be my first.” you blurt out at a mile a minute.
“Pippin-”
“Just don’t go off with another girl next week or else I’m going to have to quit” you chuckle uncomfortably.
“Are you sure? Because if we start this I’m never going to want to let you go… not ever again.” He rolled over to face you.
“I’m so sure, Eddie, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.” You rolled to face him.
You didn’t know where this bravery was coming from. Maybe it was the combination of alcohol and being in the dark, but something sparked inside of you that you couldn’t put out.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please”
You both moved in tandem as your lips collided. Years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that all lead you to this moment, this perfect moment. Eddie and you always belonged together.
“I missed you so much,” Eddie spoke into your mouth as he shifted to hover over you.
“I missed you too. I missed you so much.” You grabbed for him, to touch and feel him. Your hands gripped his hair at the back of his head.
“Baby,” Eddie sat up and slinked his hands under his sweatshirt up your bare middle.
Baby. Goosebumps spread across your body from his touch. His calloused fingers lightly scratched your soft skin, and his hands travelled further up until his fingertips grazed your breasts.
“Can I take this off?”
“Yes,” The temperature in the room suddenly increased, making you feel extremely hot. The hoodie you were wearing became suffocating.
“Sit up for me, baby. Arms up.” You obliged and felt nervous that you were basically naked in front of Eddie. You pull your arms out of the sweater and cover yourself immediately.
“No, baby, please, don’t hide from me.” He gently peels your arms away from your body. “Beautiful,” He whispers with eyes full of lust.
You reached out to cup his face so you could kiss him again. You needed to distract yourself from the fact that you were naked in front of someone for the first time. Your kisses felt rushed and needy like you would die without them.
"Slow down, Pip, we have all the time in the world." Eddie coxed you back down into the plush pillows of his bed. "I'm going to take good care of you. okay?"
You nod your head yes to let him know you understand. The room was dark, but the street light peaked through the blinds. You could hear your heartbeat along with the howl of the wind from the snowstorm. You looked over to the clock. It read 12:18am. Wayne won't be home until early morning, at least 6:00am, especially in a storm like this.
Eddie leaned forward to kiss you again, travelling his lips down your body with each peck. His mouth found your neck, and he sucked on it, making your hips jerk up into him. You could feel his erection against your leg, which only excited you more.
He made his way lower once satisfied with the marking he left on your skin. He nipped and licked and peppered your sensitive chest before latching his mouth around a perked nipple. How Eddie fantasized about this very moment for months. To him, your boobs were perfect. The way your soft skin felt under his tongue, it was like they were made for him.
You let out a squeak, embarrassed by the noises you held back. You didn't know if this was normal? To want to make sounds while Eddie's mouth discovered your body.
"Don't be shy, baby. You can let it go. Get loud. I want to hear you."
"Are you sure, Eddie? Is that like... normal?"
"Oh god, yes, it's like music to my ears... Would it make you feel better if I shared with you what I like?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well." He clasped your hand, intertwining your fingers as he rested his chin on your upper stomach. "I like it when the person I'm with makes noises; it lets me know I'm doing well. I like it when the person I'm with takes compliments and praises. I like it when the person I'm with calls me certain names, but we will save that for another time. And I like it when I get to be in charge... like right now."
"What kind of names?" You bite your lower lip.
"Ah ah, naughty girl. You'll find out eventually. But not tonight." Eddie promised.
"Eventually?" your heart perked up with hope.
"You think this is going to be a one-and-done? You're sadly mistaken, Pip." He shifted his weight and started back up, loving your body. Worshiping it with a thousand kisses. Lower, lower, lower until he reached the hem of your plain black panties.
“Has anyone ever touched you here?” His hand cupped your panty-covered cunt.
“No.” you shiver.
“I’m honoured to be your first” He slowly started to guide and move his hand over your clothed pussy, massaging it. Exploring what makes your body jerk and tick. You let out a gasp as his soft touch grazed over your already swollen clit.
"That's my girl." he cooed as his hand travelled up and under the hemline of your underwear.
His hand slid down your soft, manicured mound before finding your slit. He let one singular finger travel down your clit to collect the wetness that had pooled and dragged it back up to play with you some more.
"Oh my god," You yelped as the unfamiliar but wonderful feeling of Eddie's hands explored your body.
"You're so wet, sweetheart. This all for me?" He raised his hand to examine the clear, wet, slippery substance that coated his fingers. He then stuck his fingers in his mouth before his eyes rolled back into his head. He moaned at the taste of you.
You were curious if you should be turned on or grossed out by Eddie's behaviour. "You taste like heaven." He praised you, and your body ultimately decided for you. You were turned on.
"Please touch me," You barely whisper. You bravely started to take off your panties when Eddie's hands stopped you.
"That's my favourite part." His hands replaced yours, and he watched intently as he stripped you down into nothing.
You were now fully naked in front of Eddie. You were a bit nervous, but not overly concerned. You trusted Eddie because you've gotten to know each other better over the past six months.
"My god, you're beautiful," He praised once again. You don't think you will ever get tired of him saying that. Your heart soared each time without fail.
"So are you," You whispered back and swore you saw Eddie blush.
Eddie's hands found your needy pussy once more. He wiggled his way down the bed, and he played with your clit until his face was level with your cunt. You felt so exposed you wanted to close your legs right away. But you also wanted to know what it felt like to have Eddie's mouth on your most intimate area.
"Show me how you play with yourself."
This shocked you, and your body froze. How could he ask you to do such a crass thing? Eddie sure was pushing a lot of your boundaries tonight.
"Come on, sweetheart. It's okay, perfectly natural."
You didn't want to disappoint him, so with a trembling hand, you started to circle your clit like always. The feeling started as a mild ache in your lower stomach, but it began to rise as you continued. Your worries and apprehensions slowly drifted away as the feeling of pleasure wafted through your body.
"You never push your fingers inside?" Eddie was mesmerized by the sight in front of him.
You shake your head no. "Doesn't feel right." You were too afraid to finger yourself in the past, not wanting to push the limits; you knew how to please yourself from clit stimulation alone.
"I'm about to change that." Eddie replaced your hand with his mouth, and you cried out in pleasure. This new feeling of something hot and wet consuming your pussy made your eyes involuntarily roll back into your head.
"Yes, good girl, let me hear you." He latched his mouth back onto your clit. His tongue circled and flicked your swollen bud until you were on the edge. You were so close, then his finger slowly entered you, and that took on a whole new feeling. His fingers were longer and wider than your own. He stretched and reached further than you have ever experienced.
"Holy shit!" You cried as his fingers pushed deep inside you. Eddie was careful to go slowly. His middle finger pumped in and out of you before he added another. As his finger worked inside of you, you felt a wave of pleasure from a spot you hadn't ever felt before. It made you cry out embarrassingly loud.
"Ohhhh, good job babygirl." He chuckled smugly. Eddie knew that he had found your one spot that would make you see stars. So, he continuously grazed over it again and again.
You didn't know what was happening to you; your body was undulating under Eddie's touch. He struggled to keep your hips pinned down as he continued to devour your pussy. You couldn't think; you couldn't form words. Your brain had gone into a cloudy haze that focused only on your body and how Eddie was making you feel.
No wonder everyone raved about sex.
"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie" You didn't even know you were talking.
“That’s it, baby, say my name.”
"Eddie!" Your body clenched, and every muscle in your contract as your orgasm ripped through you. Waves of pleasure pulsed as Eddie's mouth and fingers continued to massage your pussy.
"Mmmm, that's my girl. You did so good for me." Eddie praised, and your stomach did another flip-flop at his words.
"You think you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop? You don't need to worry about me. This is all about you, Pip. Okay?"
"I want to keep going." Your voice sounded breathy, like it wasn't coming from you.
"You're sure?"
"Yes, Eddie, I want you to fuck me. Please," you squirmed.
"God, I love hearing those words from your mouth." Eddie bent down to kiss you once again.
.As he kissed you, his mouth had a tangy and slightly salty taste. He explored your mouth with his tongue, just as he had moments before with your lower lips.
"I'm going to go get a condom, okay?" He whispered again to you.
"Okay," you bit your lip with anticipation.
You watched as Eddie shuffled on his knees off the bed to his nightstand and grabbed a blue cardboard box out of his stuffed drawer. He pulled out the foil packet and pulled down his pants and boxers. Your eyes bludged at the sight of Eddie's cock. Sure, you knew what a penis looked like. However, this was your first time seeing one in real life.
"No need to be scared, Pip." Eddie gave a reassuring smile.
"Okay, Eddie," You whispered.
"You can touch me if you want?" He walked over to the bed, cock at full mast. You slowly nod your head and reach out to feel it. Obviously, it felt hard, but you were surprised by the soft skin that felt like velvet.
Eddie made a whimpering sound as your delicate fingers grazed the red tip. You jerked back your hand, afraid you'd hurt him.
"No, no, Pip," Eddie stutterd. "You're okay; it just felt really good s'all."
"Oh," you blushed. Amazed at yourself that you made him feel really good.
"Shit, okay, I'm going to put the condom on now, okay?"
"Okay," you repeated like a parrot.
"Can you lay back for me?" Eddie crawled back up on the bed and over you once more.
You popped back down, and Eddie giggled at your eagerness. He wanted to make this perfect for you, but in your mind he already had. He wanted it to be the least painful he could make it. Hopefully, your orgasm will have helped with that.
"This may hurt a little, but I'm going to go slow, and if you need me to stop or pull out, you tell me, okay?" Eddie's face had never been so serious.
You nod your head.
"No, Pip. I need your words. I need you to tell me you understand. It's important."
Oh.
"I'll let you know if I need to stop. I promise."
"Good girl."
You sucked in a breath and bit your lip at his words. Eddie took a mental note about your reaction. He would tuck it away and save it for later.
"You're already wet enough, I think. I'm going to try and put it in now okay?" Eddie kissed you tenderly and you replied.
The feeling was odd. You felt like you were being split open as your walls burned from being stretched the furthest they have ever been.
"Oh god," Your face scratched as Eddie went in deeper.
"You okay? I can stop"
"No, I can do this. Just stay there a minute." Your body needed time to adjust.
"It's okay," Eddie cooed. He peppered your cheeks with small kisses as he waited for further instructions.
"Okay, I think I'm okay." Your vagina was still tight, but it wasn't as bad as a few minutes ago.
Eddie made sure to be as gentle as possible. Even though it was killing him to not just ram into you repeatedly. Your soft, warm walls were squeezing him so good, too good.
Eventually, after what felt like an hour, Eddie finally reached the hilt. You never felt so full. The feeling was strange yet exciting.
"I'm going to move now, okay?"
He was so patient and kind; you never imagined your first time to be so guided and full of communication. You thought it would just be like boom, stick it in and start. But, no. Not with Eddie.
As Eddie started to rock his hips, the burning started to ease into pleasure. Your hips started moving and rocking with Eddie's body, and you worked together to feel pleasure. Your instincts took over as your thoughts started to numb.
"That's it, baby, fuck, you're making me feel so good." Eddie praised.
"Mmmmm," Was all you managed to get out.
Eddie took that as a sign he could go faster. Thank god he did because the moans that came from you were sinful.
"Yes, baby, be as loud as you want," Eddie commanded before latching his mouth back on the sweet spot he found earlier.
A high-pitched ""Uhhhhhnhhhh" left your mouth as you became more and more cockdrunk by the second. His thick long cock was grazing your walls, finding your g spot that he had reached earlier in the night. Making you yell out his name.
"That's it, baby girl; tell me, who owns this pussy?" Eddie gritted through his teeth, and his pulsing cock pounded into you.
"W-what?"
"Sorry, shit, sorry I got carried away." Eddie kept his rhythm as he forgot that this was your first sexual experience. He couldn't wait to teach you about all his little desires. "you're doing so good for me."
"o-okay"
Your nails lightly scratch up Eddie's back, making him shiver. You then run back down and grab onto his ass. You hugged him like a koala bear, refusing to have this feeling he was giving you to go away. You were so blissed out by it all.
"God baby, I don't think I can hold out much longer," Eddie puffed. His hips never break the rhythm he set.
"Please," you didn't know what you were begging for? You just need him.
"I got you, baby girl; you're being so good for me" Eddie felt your pussy clench down at his words of praise.
"Come on, baby; I know you can give me one more," His hand slipped between you two and found your clit once again. You were so overstimulated that with just a few mild touches, you were falling apart, beneath Eddie.
"Oh fuck, you're squeezing me so good" Eddie tried to hold off, to keep going, to keep fucking you, but he couldn't. Your pussy was so tight around his cock he emptied himself into the condom that was buried inside of you.
Your head felt like it was spinning; your body was limp and racing with those feel-good hormones.
"I'll be right back." He kissed your cheek before getting up off of you after he caught his breath, got rid of the condom and cleaned himself up before returning with a wet cloth for you. But when he returned to the bedroom, you were fast asleep.
He laid the damp cloth on the back of his desk chair and brought the covers back up over the both of you before pulling you into his chest to cuddle you until he fell asleep.
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The next morning the snow had finally stopped, and the bright sunlight had peaked its way through the slits of the cheap blinds that hung in the window.
Eddie heard footsteps outside the bedroom door in his hazy, half-asleep state. He peeked in an eye to see you sprawled out comfortably in his bed. He lifted covers to see your still naked body that he didn't really get to see last night due to the pitch black. He could see the marks he had made more clearly as they had gotten darker within the night.
He couldn't help himself. Here you were naked, sleeping with him in his bed; he just had to touch you. He kissed up the side of your exposed neck, marking the other side that had been left untouched. You moaned and squirmed, then giggled when Eddie's hair tickled you.
The reality of where you were hit the second you awoke.
"Oh, Eddie," You softly moaned.
"Good morning, baby," Eddie rolled on top of you, his morning wood more hormonal than ever.
" 'Morning," you smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear before Eddie nuzzled his head behind the small of your neck.
"So I was hopin' that you'd want to go out with me, officially... or whatever?" He cleared his throat. His morning voice was so sexy.
"Or whatever?" you smiled back up at him.
"Or wha-"
"Hey, Ed's, I'm finally back-Holy hell!-" Suddenly, Uncle Wayne was walking into the bedroom, and you were screaming, trying to cover yourself, and Eddie was trying to cover as much of you as he could.
Wayne was mortified as he shut the door behind him as quickly as possible.
"Put a sock on the door next time you have company, Kid!" Wayne shouted, flustered as ever.
Eddie barked out a laugh, and you couldn't be more embarrassed.
"Oh my god, I can't go out there? Do you think I can fit through the window?" You asked Eddie before covering your face with your hands.
"Come on, Pip. I'm sure he didn't see anything; probably only saw my pasty ass." He got up and pulled you along with him.
He found your folded clothes on the chair where you had left them, but when you went to put on your underwear, they were nowhere to be found.
You got dressed without them, and Eddie pulled you out of his room hand in hand to Face Wayne.
"So I guess it was your car all covered in snow." Wayne shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of black coffee. "There uh- coffee for the both of ya's if you want." He offered.
"Thanks." You tugged at your sleeve, not knowing what to do. Should you leave? Should you stay? Can you leave? The show was up to your knees.
"Better make yourself comfortable; the plows will take a while to get to this side of town." Wayne made the decision for you. Eddie guided you to the kitchen table and pulled out a seat for you.
"Wayne, you remember Pippin, don't you?" Eddie smiled brightly as he got you two mugs.
"Of course I do." He smiled genuinely this time. The awkwardness was lifting.
Eddie didn't need to ask how you took your coffee. He remembered two creams and two sugar. He once said it was too sweet, just like you.
"Thanks," you smile up at him as he places your coffee before you.
"I was wondering when the two of you would finally get together... Ever since high school, I've been bugging this one," He motions to Eddie, " To get his head out of his ass and to lock you down already."
"Took him long enough, you giggle"
"Now I know you two are adults, but I don't need no little munson babies running around here just yet, so you better be safe-"
"Okay, okay, Old man, we get it. We have already had this uncomfortable talk once when I was fifteen. I don't need it again."
"Fifteen?!" your eyes blog you're off your head.
"What can I say? The ladies love them some, Eddie." he smiled cockily.
You lightly pinch Eddie's arm, so he shuts up.
"Hey!" Eddie rubbed his bicep.
I knew I always liked you." Wayne tipped up his mug to you with a smile. "keep him in line."
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Fun fact, one of my hardcore boundaries with my deities is not to send me spiders. I'm terrified of them. My brain perceives a spider in the vicinity as a threat to my life, fight or flight kicks in, I will probably cry, the whole nine yards. I don't care how associated they are with spiders, I feel unsafe around spiders.
I saw that Loki, at least to enough people to worry me, is associated with spiders. IMMEDIATELY I was on guard. Loki was very insistent that he would NEVER, the goal is never to make me feel unsafe.
Cue two nights after Loki's first appearance to me, I have a dream in which the main "plot" is a spider. It was barely even a nightmare, I wasn't SCARED it was just a pain in the ass. I remember this dream halfway through the day, start laughing because Loki found a loophole, and get a very distinct "see? Your fears can't hurt you. They can even be funny."
I can't even be mad, because that was smart. And yes, very funny.
Cut to last night; my dream is general messy weird dream shit, but what sticks out is a spider that's completely irrelevant. out of place. On a segment of "wall" that shouldn't even be there, in the middle of a big room, and it interrupts the "scene" completely. Instead of freaking out I grab the arm of my friend and say "spider," and just move us away and leave it be. Progress. Not a real spider, I'd still cry if a real one was involved, but undeniable progress in my subconscious.
Loki is very pleased with himself. I am entertained.
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colorisbyshe · 9 months
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obviously, most it is just blatant homophobia (specifically lesbophobia) and biphobia (including corrective rape fetishes), but I do think at least some of the "lesbians and gay men can want to have sex with each other and SHOULD have sex with each other to prove they're ~real queers :3" is from people who have only read posts about very specific situations and think it's... like... wildly applicable because posts are their only connection to the lgbt community, so they just think "posts = everyone"
specifically those posts that are about being at event and a butch lesbian hits on a twink (or vise versa!) thinking the twink is another lesbian (and the twink thinking the lesbian is another gay man). not getting the "joke" in that post is that when they realized... oh, this person isn't the gender i'm into... they stopped hitting on each other? and laughed about it
the point of those stories isn't "wow, gays and lesbians could be sucking and fucking to show we aren't constrained by gender" which is insane and bigoted but rather "isn't it funny how gender presentation works and how just finding out someone's gender can completely wipe out your attraction to them?"
similarly, they'll see stories about how lesbians and gay men in the past might have gotten married or even had children together and think "SEEEE THAT COULD BE US IF WE WERE REAL QUEERS" without at all giving a single thought about how that lavender marriages or "lesbians using gay men as sperm donors" were actually about protecting each other from homophobia in a society where straight marriage is expected from people. or maybe using the only methods possible to have kids in a society that is violently exclusive towards single women and gay people (and many other marginalized groups) seeking out reproductive assistance or adoption.
this wasn't about desire or even about sex. this was about survival and working in loopholes.
like... stop just consuming posts. start talking to real people. having a conversation with even like... one lesbian who actually leaves their house will tell you that "having sex with men is more progressive actually" is a violent sentiment. like rape level violence. death level violence, in some cases.
this should be a very easy concept to grasp and yet "bisexual lesbianism" and "us real progressives know all women want to fuck men" is still being said without people being beheaded so... chop chop people
this posts only exists because i'm aware sometimes young people parrot shit without thinking but if you are older and still saying shit like this... the beheading is coming for you final destination style. just an fyi.
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twstfanblog · 9 months
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Heartslabyul Random Headcanons
Ace and Deuce are such good friends they quickly reached the level of 'Married and sick of each other'.
Riddle is so socially unaware at times. It’s why Cater even started talking to him. 'He's like a newborn, only worse because he's 17'.
Trey has and will hold someone down to check their teeth. It's only been his siblings so far, but it's the fact he's willing to do it.
Once Deuce got lost in the maze but was too embarrassed to call for help. Cater saw him from one of the upper floors and sent him texts on which way to go to get out.
Deuce just gave the meekest thank you when he was out.
The story is that Riddle hated the old dorm head because he didn't uphold the queen's rules, and that's why he challenged him to become dorm head.
It was also because he heard dorm leaders get their own rooms, and he wasn't surviving a room with 3 other people.
Chenya shows up so often that the dorm just chases him around a bit before going back to their tea party. It's just tradition to try to kill him on sight now, then they all have tea together.
Trey is deeply worried if the dorm will survive without him.
Cater is the main one organizing the unbirthday parties and various other functions of the dorm. He knows everyones birthdays and favorite colors and foods. He makes the file every year for his own purposes, but he's starting mapping out event dates to give to riddle to make his life a bit less stressful.
Ace actually knows way more rules than he lets on. He uses that knowledge to find loopholes and to argue with Riddle as to WHY he shouldn't be in trouble.
Riddle is allergic to soy and didnt know it until he had an allergic reaction in his first year.
His mom knew, but since she makes all his "meals," she never bothered to let him know. She then scolded him for eating soy and being careless.
Trey makes it a need that everyone in the dorm knows how to make a basic meal of their choice. Simple things like buttered noodles, scrambled eggs, or a simple sandwich.
Riddle actually makes the most complex stepped grill cheese, but it is the best tasting thing anyone has had. It is also the only thing he knows how to make by himself.
When Cater gets sick, no one can tell, and he will just go about his day. (The light club can tell, and they force him to lay down and nap)
Riddle MADE a rule that Ace specifically can't eat cherries in the dorm.
This is because Ace is a heathen who spits his cherry pits at mach 7 and one of them nearly blinded Riddle.
Trey warns the first years to be careful on the steps. And every year, he gets to watch them eat shit on the stairs for not listening to him.
Deuce so far has been the only one to fall UP the stairs that Trey has seen. He's lowkey impressed.
Deuce's favorite dorm chore is taking care of the flamingos. He honestly just really likes birds, chickens are simply his favorites.
Cater and Riddle will never confirm or deny that Cater used to be the last dorm head. Since it was only for less than a week, there's no official documents anyone can find.
Trey also won't say because he thinks it funny everyone wants to know so badly.
Riddle’s almost overbloted once before game events. It was his first month as dorm head, and the new pressures sent him into a hysterical sobfest.
He did make himself sick, but managed to bounce back and reshape the dorm’s standards.
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hero-israel · 6 months
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Let me tell you being a former Christian this shit goes so much deeper than a lot of born Jews realize. The Christian worldview (specifically Calvinist/Puritan) seeping into and pervading all of modern leftism is honestly frightening. But also it's very funny.
They believe that there are Good people and Bad people, and that any mistake or lapse in judgment or instance of not being educated is a Mask Off moment, showing who is a member of the Elect and who is not. If you fuck up, that's not just a fuck up, it's Revealing. You are damned, were always damned, you were just good at hiding it, and now we know the truth and are doubly angry because not only are you evil, you lied about it. The only recourse is to shun you, and if that leads to your death, so be it. Anyone who's seen any micro celebrity get canceled saw this in action.
And the only way you can prove you're a member of the Elect is to operate as if you have nothing to hide. You have to loudly and proudly proclaim your righteousness. If you don't have anything to hide why would you be worried? Privacy is suspicious. You Must Speak on everything they deem important or else you obviously agree with the Bad People. There is no room for discussion or healthy debate. There are no loopholes or subclauses or other points of view to consider. You're with us or against us. If you don't constantly go around saying you're with us, you're probably secretly against us. The only way to convince your neighbors, whom you inherently distrust, that you're one of the Good Ones, is to perform righteousness, parrot righteous words. The only way to redeem yourself is by grandiose acts of self flagellation, perhaps being the right demographic, or by accusing others of Heresy.
The goal is not to bring good into the world, it's to recruit more people into the same thought patterns (that's kind of all Christian denominations though). Because if you can convince your community that you're one of the Elect, that means G-d preselected you for Heaven, and you're golden. No repercussions or consequences baby. The only material benefit for you is that you "get" to proclaim you're going to Heaven and everyone has to agree with you. If anyone doesn't they're probably going to Hell anyway. You're on the right side (of history), so why should you ever self reflect or grow? Why should you question anything? Why should nuance or empathy exist? This is about Right and Wrong. We know where we stand, where do you stand?
Every single aspect of American culture and politics, right and "left" alike, was planted by the pilgrims, and it is so fundamentally antithetical to true Leftist thought. Remember all the actually successful Western Leftist movements were started in Europe (and Israel cough cough)... because they kicked all their fucking psychotic Calvinists out. Those people went to America and that's a big big big reason why we don't have any near as much of a robust Leftist movement as even socially conservative European countries (and Israel cough cough). And what's funny is I still find myself slipping into these thought patterns, which is so not compatible with Jewish philosophy or theology. It's been years and I'm still not done.
It's a hell of a drug to kick, so I definitely don't trust white goysiche college kids who've been antitheists for about 6 months since they left their Republican parents' homes to have any great success in unlearning and unprogramming from this. Which is kind of obvious in that I see them acting just like their conservative Christian parents every day on every social media platform, swap out a gun toting white Jesus with some noble savage idea of Palestine, absolving the West of its sins against the Global South.
It is a cult structured around spiritual isolation, antisocial behavior, and it is inherently against any kind of political movement that centers and celebrates the Community. It is designed to tear communities apart and foster obedience to whatever authority can force itself on them. And this has been going on for almost 500 years, there is nothing we can do about it.
Thank you for the insightful look. Their "purity culture" approach definitely had to come from somewhere.
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cherry-pop-elf · 6 months
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BAKING WITH THE WEASLEY SIBLINGS
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William ‘Bill’
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Since he is the eldest, he had to do a lot of cooking with his parents. He was a victim of ‘third parent’ syndrome. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t find comfort in baking. It still fills a void in his heart when cooking and baking. His favorite thing to make, with you, is something he learned in Egypt. Baklava. It’s super airy, and the right amount of sweet. Given being partially turned has made his senses heighten, it makes for a good treat to share with you and his siblings. It’s nice to do normal things, when your life is so abnormal. He also learned to make some mean meat pies. Just know not to ask a slice on the full moon. That shit is raw. Thats what you get for dating a curse breaking werewolf. Eh. More protein never hurts in a diet, most of the time
Charlie
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As the second oldest, he also had to do a lot of baking as well. There is also the fact that being a Dragonologist has left him fending for himself in the wild. So he’s had to get pretty creative if he wants something sweet. Hey. He’s a Weasley. They are famous for being creative. A treat he enjoys is Romanian Dessert Salami. Though, often times he uses the term liberally and often makes a rather fruity bread roll instead. Gotta use what ya got! Also, hope you are prepared to see him using his wand a lot for cooking. Don’t have much when chasing dragons. It is rather fascinating to learn how to make desserts from so little. Your little adventure man
Percy
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Being the third child, you would think he wouldn’t be as responsible as his older siblings. You are wrong. The moment the two older brothers were out the door, it was his turn. Desserts were never a passion of his, so he’s not the best at it. But he won’t deny the fact he can make a mean pie. It’s a secret talent he has. You can count on him to make any pie your heart desires. He won’t say it out loud, but making pies is very therapeutic to him. He has a pie for each sibling even. Bill is meat, Charlie is mixed berries, Fred is Chocolate while George is Peanut butter, Ron is Pumpkin, and Ginny is Peach. Him? …..What was your favorite type of pie again~?
Fred
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Fred isn’t really much of a baker. He’s more of the cooking type. You are better off seeing him make breakfast, despite being a night owl, compared to making any desserts. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t find his loopholes. Like how Percy is great with pies, Fred is amazing with Bread. Fred Bread! As proxy, he has his siblings favorite bread types memorized. Bill likes dark chocolate types, Charlie likes anything with berries, Percy is rather boring with banana, he loves grape while George will like orange, Ron likes hers with some pumpkin, and Ginny is the cinnamon type. Expect plenty of fresh bread with him. He’s got you covered
George
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He IS the baker in the family. Who do you think brought up the idea of selling bake goods at WWW? He can, and will, bake ANYTHING! He has everyone’s favorite treats memorized. He is constantly handing out free samples to kids. He WILL find an excuse to bake. You want cookies? Hot and fresh from the oven. It’s three am and you want a cake? It’s now four am and you got a cake. He IS the baker. He loves to bake so much, and is always making sure the shop has fresh supply. If you can’t ever find him anywhere, follow your nose to the kitchen. He’s got something in the works. For someone!
Ron
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Like Fred, he’s not really a baker. He’s a cooker. Doesn’t mean he can’t make a dessert if he has to. He’s become pretty good at making tarts, custards, and puddings. Very much comfort food. Something he picked up again when going to school with Harry. Given, ya know, the Dursleys. He won’t lie, it was also a cheap way to flirt with Hermione without breaking his wallet. Funny thing is she was never one for such desserts. Now she can’t get enough. He makes those comfort foods with a lot of heart, and is willing to make them if you have a bad day. He does get a bit anxious when cooking around other people, but he warms up eventually.
Ginny
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Like Fred and Ron, she doesn’t really bake either. She was the baby of the family, after all. She does, however, like to make cookies for her team. There is something so nice about having a warm cookie after a cold rainy day of Quidditch practice. Helps that you convinced her to pick up the habit again. She likes to make cookies with fruit in them. To try and have them on the healthier side, given she’s an athlete. So a tart cookie is a good cookie to her. It’s simple, basic, and quick, but nothing wrong with that. A quickly made cookie, with love, is better than a drawn out dessert of labor. It’s also easy to blame her love of fruity desserts on Charlie. She’s the baby girl in an army of boys. She picked up some habits
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chestnutelm122 · 7 months
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I have never felt more connected to Carol than in The Marvels. In the first movie, the main thing that drew me in was the scene where a man told her to give him a smile and she just brushed it off, because that very same thing happened to me years before Captain Marvel. I was in a public transport, minding my own business, when a man suddenly came up to me and said, “what’s with the long face? How about a smile?” I just gave him a stink eye and ignored his bullshit but believe when I say all I really wanted to do was what Carol did in the deleted scene. This shit happens irl and for men to think that Carol breaking The Don’s hand was over the top was just mildly infuriating.
And then The Marvels happened.
I’ve seen the movie twice now, and despite its flaws and a couple of loopholes, what struck me was how Carol deal with the challenges and emotions, and not wanting people to see her vulnerable side. I’ve never seen any superhero in the Marvel universe that is deeply flawed and relatable as Carol. She was intimidating and somewhat introverted, yet funny, smart and brave.
I especially liked the tender moments between her and Monica, and her and Maria. Those scenes hit me like a motherfucker.
When Monica had that look in WandaVision about not wanting to talk about Carol, it puzzled me what happened between these two that made it seem like she hated Carol. So when she finally confronted Carol in The Marvels about Carol breaking her promise, it just made me think about my own parents. About how they kept saying they—my family—will always be there for me, yet never fails to leave me hanging when things get tough. When Monica repeated to Carol what she promised her when she was a little girl it broke my heart because I could totally see that little girl still hurting over the fact that the person she looked up to growing up weren’t even there when she came back after the blip. But then we panned to the next scene, explaining what really went down between Carol and Maria.
I lost my mother to cancer as well, so seeing this scene for the first time really put tears on my face. The way Brie’s voice cracks as she delivers Carol’s line, as well as how she wants to appear tough for Maria was so heartbreaking. It made me appreciate Carol Danvers more. In the first movie, one of people’s complaints about Captain Marvel was how “stoic” and “wooden” Brie’s acting was—which, let’s all be honest here, was a total lie because that’s exactly how Vers should be: devoid of emotions—The Marvels perfectly showed Carol’s human side. And if you can’t see that just based on these two scenes alone, then perhaps you’re right, The Marvels is not for you.
With the movie not doing as well as we wanted it to do in the box office, I wouldn’t be surprised if Brie tries to avoid doing any more movies with them (unless, of course, she signed a five movie deal or sth), but I hope she’ll come back for future marvel movies. She’s perfect as Captain Marvel and I can’t wait to see what Carol Danvers does next.
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So i was hoping to request for trope tuesday. I was thinking grumpy reader x sunshine sirius and like kinda 10 things I hate about you type storyline but obviously in your own way of course. :)
happy trope tuesday! omg i kind of adored this request, so i got a bit carried away; i hope it's not too long... it ended up being very 10 things i hate about you inspired but i just love that movie and it just kind of flowed that way... hope you enjoy!!
for my 250 Followers Writing Event!
Tropey Tuesday 🎭 trope: grumpy x sunshine, enemies to lovers-ish
pairing: Sirius Black x reader
word count: 5.9k
“C’mon, Pads, pleaaase,” James pleads for the millionth time that morning. “No. Can’t you just drop it yet? You’re starting to seriously get on my nerves,” Sirius replies, flicking ashes off his cigarette and taking another drag. 
“Fucking hell. What are friends for then, huh? If not to have your back in the darkest of times?” he accuses. 
“I’d hardly call taking Evans out the ‘darkest of times,’ you drama queen. I mean, you are a pretty dull date, Prongs, but don’t be so hard on yourself.” “Hilarious,” he deadpans. “But the point is there isn’t going to be a date unless her sister goes too. Their dad is mental. Thinks Lily shouldn’t be going out alone her first year at uni or something. And he’ll know if she goes; I think he can track her and Y/N’s phones or some psychotic shit like that.” “Yes, yes, you’ve mentioned it.” “Have I? Because you don’t seem to be getting it, dickhead. C’mon, I’d do it for you.” “Oh, would you? You’d go out with the most grim girl you’ve ever laid eyes on, having to worry all night she might stab you if you don’t open the door for her — or if you do actually, knowing her,” Sirius muses. “I would,” he replies certainly. “In fact, I’d do it even if I knew she would stab me. I’d take a knife for you, Black.” “Alright, easy, Prongs. I love you too, but no need to get so dramatic.”
“If you really loved me, you’d do this for me.” “You aren’t gonna let up are you?” “Not a chance.” “Fucking hell.” Sirius flicks away the butt of his cig and walks away, thinking he still had until he found you to change his mind. 
You’re sitting in a courtyard outside reading, and it crosses Sirius’s mind that in the odd moments in which you didn’t look so angry, you were actually kind of… beautiful? 
You’re engrossed in your book when you hear, “Hello, gorgeous.” Sirius smiles at you, taking a seat beside you, leaning close. 
“Can I help you?” you shoot. “Funny you should offer,” he jests. “Yes, yes you can in fact.” You look annoyed, not amused; he’s not used to this reaction but treads on, “It would be a marvelous help actually if you’d join me on Saturday. As I’m sure you know, there’s a party. Half the uni is going, but I reckon it will be rather dull unless you’re there.” He puts on his most seductive smirk. “No, thanks.” You close your book, get up, and leave. He’s sitting there, a bit awe-struck, when he sees you simply sit back down somewhere else, in plain view of his, and continue reading. 
“She’s mental,” he whispers to himself. 
“I tried, Prongs. Leave it, won’t you?” he sighs exasperatedly later that afternoon.
“No, I won’t. Since when are you one to give up so easily? So she didn’t say yes right away, big deal.” “She didn’t not say yes; she said ‘no.’ Very emphatically I might add.” 
“So be more charming! That usually works for you, doesn’t it?”
“Oh, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that earlier. Thanks, James. Thanks so much,” he says sardonically. “I tried. It’s not as if I went up to her and didn’t try to be charming.”
“If you manage to get her to the party, I will buy you that new guitar you want so much.”
Sirius freezes. Interesting. 
“You can’t afford it,” he shoots.   “I can.” “You’ll back out for some idiotic loophole reason.” “I won’t.” Sirius groans and goes off again. 
“I think you and I got off on the wrong foot.” You’re lying in the grass, headphones on, eyes closed. You look serene. You don’t respond. He shifts and steps closer, accidentally shielding your face from the sun. This gets your attention. 
“What?” you ask, freeing one ear from your headphone, sitting up. He clears his throat and squats down in front of you. 
“I said, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot.” “Oh. Didn’t hear you,” you say simply, pointing at the headphones. “Yes, I gathered.” 
There is an awkward pause. It lingers.
“So…,” you say softly. “Is there something else, or…” 
Bloody hell; was it just him, or did you hate everyone this much?
“What are you listening to?” he tries. “Why do you care?” you reply. You don’t sound angry, though. It comes out like a normal question; he’s just confused as to how you think it is one. 
“I love music,” he says, taking a seat. 
“Okay…” You look genuinely confused. “I love music too, but it doesn’t mean I give a shit what that bloke over there is listening to.” You gesture toward some guy with his headphones in too. 
“Right. Well. I’m interested in music, but I’m also interested in you.” “Why?” “Are you serious?” “Do I sound like I’m joking?” “No, you sound like you’ve never had a conversation with anyone in your life.” He sounds a bit exasperated. He realizes this after the fact and internally cringes for his lack of patience, thinking it will set him back (if he’s made any progress at all) but is surprised at your lack of reaction. 
“I just don’t see why you would be,” you say calmly. 
He’s heard girls say similar to him many times, some out of actual insecurity, some just fishing for his compliments. Your tone is unlike any of theirs, and he’s not sure what to make of it.  “You don’t see what? Why I would be interested in you?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’ve been vaguely aware of each other for a long time; had a class together and such. You never seemed interested then.” Feeling a bit more himself again, he replies smoothly, “Did you want me to be, love?”
You groan a little. 
“Oh, I was dying for it,” you say, deadpan. “You were all I thought about,” you add dramatically. “I couldn’t focus on anything all day, and at night,” you lean toward him, like you’re about to tell him the deepest secret, “I’d touch myself to the thought of you.” You make a fake-scandalized expression, gasping sarcastically, then turn away as if nothing strange had just happened, turning the volume up on your music and adjusting your headphones again. You laid back down and closed your eyes, ignoring his presence beside you. 
His mind had no idea which thread to chase. It was torn between dissecting how what he thought would offend you didn’t and what he thought would charm you offended you, marveling at how easily you had just joked about your wanking, or coming up with A) a way to convince James this was not happening or… (he seemed excited at the thought) B) a way to convince you to pay attention to him. While this all churned on the surface, in the back of his mind he registered the song you were listening to, which he heard in the fraction of time between your turning it up and putting your headphones back on. He loved that song. 
“How’d it go with Fender?” James asks, entering their flat and plopping down onto the sofa next to Sirius. 
“With what?” Sirius looks at him as though he’s gone mad. “Fender,” he repeats, as if that clarified anything. “Okay. See, the way I see it,” he pauses for dramatic effect, “is that you can think of her as your guitar. That way you’ll want her as badly as that bloody fender and you’ll get off your arse and figure it out.” “Don’t you see how that’s a little, I don’t know, objectifying?” 
“Perfect, she’s rubbing off on you already; I know how much of a feminist she is. This is great; one step closer to love.” “Love?” Sirius’s disbelief is palpable. “When did this go from a meaningless date to help you out to love?” He grimaces a bit… then he grimaces a lot — but this at his realization that it wasn’t the idea of love, or even being in love with you, that made him grimace, but the idea that that didn’t even seem like a possibility. 
“She’s mental, Prongs,” he says quickly, trying to distract himself. “I have no idea what to say to her, and everything I say falls flat, or worse.” “So now you know what it’s like to not look like a demigod and just have to flash a smile to get a girl’s attention. Have you ever thought about talking to her about something she likes? or something you like even. Just not vapid lines that would work regardless of who’s on the receiving end?” 
Sirius squints at him and says, “I tried that, you twat. Asked her about music.” “And she didn’t like that?” 
Sirius pauses, thinking back. “I don’t know,” he responds honestly.
“Well, did she seem annoyed?” “No. Not yet.” “When did she get annoyed?” Sirius winces. “When I asked her if she’d had a crush on me when we had a class together.” 
James slaps the back of his head.
 
A few days go by, the weekend and fated party soon approaching. Sirius is out at a retro record shop in the late afternoon, and a t-shirt with the band name and logo of the group you were listening to the other day, Greta Van Fleet, catches his attention. It’s a cool shirt. And he likes them too. He’s not just thinking of getting it as a potential conversation starter for you. Truly… 
He walks out of the shop, up two records and a t-shirt. 
He runs a couple errands, kills a bit of time, and heads over to the campus pub to meet James and Remus. When he walks in, he’s struck by the sight of you, sitting alone in a corner booth, a pint and a book in front of you. 
James comes to greet him, and he reciprocates, trying to act natural, but as soon as he gets the chance, hoping you haven’t spotted him (he’s pretty sure; he’s barely taken his eyes off of you, so he probably would’ve noticed), he dodges to the toilets, bag in hand. 
When he comes back out, James asks, “Did you just change, mate?” 
“Uh, yeah. Spilled something on my shirt earlier and had a spare.” James accepts this explanation as reasonable and doesn’t spend more time on it. 
They get some drinks and are met by Remus, but as James heads to an empty booth, Sirius grabs his arm and drags him in the other direction. “Let’s sit over there actually.” “Why?” “Just looks more spacious.” And grants a better view of you, he doesn’t add. James looks skeptical but follows, and the three of them settle in. 
Sirius is distracted, occasionally gracing the conversation with a nod of his head or a simple “oh, yeah?” 
James is so caught up in a story, he doesn’t seem to notice, but Remus, ever observant, teases, “You know, if you’d rather go sit with Evans, Sirius, we won’t be offended.” James looks over, catching sight of you for the first time, a little disappointed at which Evans it was.
“What?” Sirius replies lamely. 
“Oh, come on, Padfoot. You haven’t stopped staring at her since we got here.” 
“Brilliant! Another chance,” exudes James. 
“Another chance at what?” asks Remus. “Sirius is taking her to the party on Saturday.” “I’m not,” Sirius interjects harshly. After a beat he adds exasperatedly, looking toward Remus, “James wants me to be taking her to the party on Saturday. That way her sister will come along too and grace him with her presence.” 
“You know,” James muses, “Fender doesn’t look as scary from this far away. I reckon you should go talk to her, Pads.” “Fender?” asks Remus.
“Don’t ask,” deadpans Sirius. “Well? Go on, then,” James urges. “Relax, mate. I’ll go later; just give me a minute.” 
“Are you… nervous?” “Oh, and you wouldn’t be? After she’s rejected you twice in one week?” “Oh, I definitely would be, but you? It’s shocking. This might have a few upsides beyond my date with Lily. I like seeing you flustered.” “I’m not flustered,” Sirius shoots defensively. “I’m just trying to have a drink with my mates without all the nagging, alright? Is that too much to ask?”
“Yes,” James jokes but has mercy on him and continues his conversation with Remus after a threatening, “We’ll come back to this” and a grin. 
Sirius is watching you when the song in the pub changes. You smile a little bit, and he hates how it makes his heart flutter. When the lyrics start, your mouth moves along with them, singing under your breath, and you move a bit with the music. You look beautiful lost in your own world like that. Just then, you look up, and your eyes meet his. They widen, and you freeze, looking a bit embarrassed. He wants to look away but braves on, holding your gaze and attempting to smile in greeting. You give a strained smile in response and look down shyly. It’s a strange look on you, timid. Sirius is not surprised to find it suits you, but he is surprised to find that he misses snarky and strong on you. 
You look back again as if you couldn’t help it, and he catches your glance go down toward his shirt. Yes, he thinks. God, is this how most people normally feel? He feels pathetic, trying so hard to look interesting in front of you, wondering whether you could like him. Your attention is pulled away by the arrival of your sister, and when you stand up and hug her, he sees you smile brightly for the first time. It’s blinding.
“Heads up, Prongs,” he says, not looking away from you. James follows his gaze, and his hand instinctively goes to his hair. Remus scoffs amusedly. 
You both look over, and James awkwardly pulls his hand from his hair and waves at Lily. She gives a giddy laugh and waves back. She turns to you and whispers something, and you shake your head vehemently in response. You start to argue in loud whispers that are still too far away to make out, but eventually Lily just rolls her eyes, looks back over, and gestures for the boys to join you. You look furious.
James doesn’t skip a beat, grabbing his drink and heading over with a confident, “Come on then.”
He pushes Sirius into the booth on your side and slides in next to Lily, Remus sliding in after him, ending up on his other side. Lily, James, and Remus start up an easy chat, but you and Sirius stay quiet. He feels tense, his palms probably sweaty, and the feeling is quite foreign to him. He fiddles with his glass in front of him, not looking sideways at you. “Nice shirt,” you say softly. 
He looks down, as if he doesn’t know exactly what shirt he’s wearing, then looks up at you, responding “thanks” in his best attempt at a casual tone. “You like them?” he adds, knowing the answer. 
You nod. “A lot actually.” “Me too.” “Clearly,” you laugh a little, nodding toward his shirt, and he loves the sound of it. “Why else would you wear this shirt?’ Why else indeed. 
“Yeah,” he laughs, a bit strained still but starting to loosen up. 
“You seem different,” you say. Again with the directness. He needs to learn how to handle it better for future conversations. He catches himself in this thought and can’t help but register his high hopes for the existence of said future conversations. 
“Do I?” “Yeah. I don’t know. You seem…” You seem a bit lost for words then finish, “like the acoustic version to your regular electric.” 
His eyebrows go up, surprised at such phrasing, followed closely by the corners of his lips, intoxicated by it. He doesn’t know what to say, and for the first time, that seems like the beginning of potentially beautiful possibility instead of just an obstacle to overcome as soon as possible. He’s never been so at peace with not saying anything. He just smiles. 
You smile too, and into the quiet space he’s created, whisper, “I like it.” He can’t help his smug smirk at this; he’s still himself after all, but it’s more teasing than before, and this time when you roll your eyes, you lips don’t lose their smile. 
You shift a bit, listening to whatever your sister is saying then tense up suddenly. Sirius has been so distracted just watching you, he has no idea what was said that stressed you out so much. He finally pays attention to try to piece it together. “Right, Y/N?” Lily asks. “Umm,” you don’t answer. “That’s brilliant, right, Sirius?” James says now. “Sorry, what’s brilliant?” “Y/N. Going to the party Saturday,” he responds. Sirius looks inquisitively at you. 
“I never said I was going,” you say, your demeanour back to its regular grumpy one. “In fact, I wasn’t planning to,” you finish with some finality. Lily leans into your shoulder, making puppy dog eyes at you. “But you’ve reconsidered just for me, right? Pleeeaasee, Y/N, pleeaasee.” 
You roll your eyes and bump her off of you but don’t say anything. You opt to take a swig of your drink instead despite the four pairs of eyes still intently watching you. Sirius has the odd sensation that that somehow actually doesn’t affect you, being seen, and it fascinates him. You don’t even look like you’re considering anymore when Lily bumps your shoulder with hers and fake-whispers, “pleeeaaaseee.” 
You roll your eyes again, but give in with a simple, “fine.”
“Ah!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Lily chants, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your cheek between her praises. You’re grimacing; James is beaming. 
Saturday rolls around, and James and Sirius are finishing getting ready to go. Sirius is searching the messy living room for his leather jacket as he says, “No, mate, I’ll just meet you there.” “What are you talking about? Of course you should walk her there.” “She never said she was going with me. She just said she’d go. I don’t know why she’d expect — or want — me to show up at her flat.” “Just ask her.” “Don’t have her number.” 
James takes his out of his pocket, types something, waits a moment. A ding sounds; he sends another message, and now Sirius’s phone sounds. He opens it to a text from James with your phone number. “Just asked Lily,” James says smugly. Sirius rolls his eyes and plops onto the sofa, debating, spinning his phone in his hand. 
“What do I say?” “Figure it out, playboy,” James says as he goes back into his room, probably to check his hair again.
Sirius starts typing a message. 
hey, Y/N, it’s sirius… how are you? What am I, fifty? he thinks to himself, shaking his head. He erases the how are you?, replacing it with lily gave james your number then james gave it to me. Fucking hell. He erases that too. 
He writes, hey Y/N, it’s sirius… do you want me to come with james to get you and lily? and hits send before he can overthink it. 
He tosses his phone to the side, but he can’t stop looking over at it, and his leg is bouncing up and down rapidly. He’s wringing his hands together, fiddling with his rings when his phone vibrates. He snatches it up immediately, opening it to find one word from you: sure. Good enough, he thinks, and there’s an energy to his step he didn’t have before as he grabs his jacket, saunters to James’s room, and drags him out of the flat.
As you follow Lily out the door, Sirius swallows hard. You look stunning. Lily is all made up, her face looking much more perfect than most days, her heels looking like they’ll hurt after one block. Your look is more low-key. Your eyeliner makes your eyes even more striking than usual, but you still look like yourself. You’re wearing a classic pair of converse that look cool with your long leather coat. 
“Hey,” he greets when you’re standing in front of him.
“Hey,” you say back. You sway from the heels of your feet to your toes a bit then you both turn to walk behind James and Lily, who have their arms wrapped around each other and are already talking animatedly.
The first few minutes of the walk are completely silent between the two of you. Though it’s strangely not awkward, Sirius wants to talk to you, just doesn’t know where to start. He decides to just dive into the deep end. “What’s it like not caring what people think about you? Just saying what you want to say, or,” he chuckles at the current situation, “not saying anything?” You look at him seriously for a moment, considering him.
“I care what some people think about me. Just not everyone. And especially not random guys just because they’re attractive, and I’m supposed to put in some big effort to make myself attractive to them. I have better things to use, even better things to waste, my time and energy on.” You shrug. 
“What’s your favourite waste of time?” he asks, grinning, his eyebrow raised in curiosity. You’re looking down in front of you, but he can see you smile. 
“Um, funky question. Because I guess it’d be music. Getting high and just lying there listening to it, feeling it,” you laugh. “But that hardly seems like a waste.” You’re cheerful, and it’s addicting. Sirius laughs and says, “Hardly sounds like a waste at all. Sounds brilliant.” 
“Yeah,” you sigh, still smiling. “How about yours?” 
“Hm. I don’t know. Can’t just copy your answer, can I?” “Nope,” you pop. 
“Damn. Well, in that case, I’ll go with just hanging out with James and Remus, not really doing much in particular.” 
You nod. “Hardly sounds like a waste at all.” You smile at each other and chuckle. 
When you get to the party, music is blasting, and it’s already full of people, many of whom seem to be drunk already. Sirius catches you looking around with a huge grimace on your face, and he finds it adorable. “Your favourite way to spend a Saturday night?” he asks cheekily, having to lean close due to the noise. You look at him and roll your eyes, but there’s a trace of a smile on your lips. 
Several people greet Sirius, and he laughs and jokes with them. He’s clearly great at being the life of the party. You’ve already lost track of James and Lily. Hoping she’s having fun, you just hang back near Sirius, not engaging with his friends. No matter how glad he seems to see someone, though, he always comes back to you.
“You don’t have to linger, you know. I’ll be fine by myself.” “It’s everyone else I’m worried about. Given the murderous look on your face,” he laughs, though he can’t ignore the sting of the word “linger.” 
You scoff but seem amused. “Besides,” he adds more quietly, “I want to be with you.” 
“Okay,” you smile. “Okay,” he confirms happily. 
As the night goes on, you actually chat more and more easily. Commentary on the DJ’s (usually subpar) performance helps. You’re laughing together, and his hopes are high that you’re having a good time. “I actually like this one,” you say, wincing in amused embarrassment when a dancey pop song comes on. 
“Wanna dance?” he asks excitedly. 
“Um, I’m not much of a dancer,” you admit. “That’s alright. Me neither. Fancy it anyway?”
You bite your lower lip, considering, before nodding. 
He takes your hand and guides you between crowds of people to the area functioning as a dance floor. You stand close to each other, face to face, and it takes some time to get into the rhythm. Sirius finds you adorable as you cover your face with your hand, laughing at yourself. He grabs your hand, uncovering your face, and spins you. You laugh and put your other hand on his shoulder when you’re facing him again. He puts his hand on your hip, and you two move with the music, letting go. You dance a few more songs before you lean into his ear to say something. The contact shoots a thrill down his spine. “Wanna get some air? I’m getting really warm in here,” you semi-yell. He nods and grabs your hand again, walking with you out onto the quieter, emptier patio. You take a deep breath and sigh in contentment at the fresh air, leaning on your forearms on the porch ledge. You look lovely all flushed. 
“What?” you ask, laughing lightly. “What?” he repeats, smiling but uncertain. “You’re looking at me funny.” He’s debating telling you the truth, telling you it’s because he thinks you’re beautiful, when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He just shakes his head casually as he goes to check it. He sees an unimportant message and just puts his phone down on the ledge in front of you both. You just stand there quietly with each other, shoulder to shoulder, and he fucking loves it. He feels at peace and excited simultaneously.
“Mind if I smoke?” he asks you, reaching into his pocket. 
“Not as much as your lungs,” you retort. He gives you a “very funny” look. “I don’t mind,” you say more softly. He pulls out his cigs but keeps digging in his pockets. “Shit, forgot my lighter. Gonna go steal one from anyone I know real quick. Be right back,” he says, bumping your shoulder with his. You nod happily. 
You’re standing there alone when his phone lights up in front of you. 
A text from James reads, saw you sneak off with fender 👀 looks like you oughtta be grateful instead of annoyed in the end 
Followed quickly by one from Remus, okay can one of you please explain the nickname now? it’s weird
James again, i promised sirius i’d buy him that fender he keeps going on about if he suffered a date with Y/N for me
Your stomach drops, and you feel like you’re going to be sick, your ears ringing with more than the after-effects of the loud music. 
Sirius comes back, putting his hand on your lower back with a sweet “hey.”
You grab his phone, shove it in his chest, and seethingly say, “Fuck you, Black. Hope you didn’t have to suffer too much.” Your shoulder shoves him aggressively as you storm off. 
He looks at his phone, and pure horror courses through him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he keeps repeating as he speeds after you through the crowds. He doesn’t catch up until you’re a good way down the street away from the party. 
“Y/N! Wait! Please wait a second,” he calls, out of breath, as he reaches you, grabbing your forearm to try to turn you toward him. His heart shatters at the sight that meets him. You’re crying. 
You yank your arm away from him and spit out, “Leave me alone.” 
“Please. Please just let me explain. I wanted to be with you tonight. Please,” he pleads, walking fast to keep up with you. 
“Oh, fuck off. You don’t have to keep it up anymore; your friend got what he wanted.” “It’s not like that, okay? You can ask him if you want! He’ll tell you I wanted you to come with me; he’ll tell you I like you.” “I’m sure he’ll tell me whatever you want him to, Black, but I’m really not interested. Please just leave me the fuck alone.” You start walking faster, and he stops dead in his tracks. He doesn’t know what he could possibly say, and he just stands there in the middle of the road, the worst feeling he’s ever felt weighing him down to the spot.
You’re back in your flat, still crying, when your phone buzzes. 
Y/N
please 
can we please talk? 
it’s not what you think
i really want to talk to you
please
You put it on silent and toss it away.
You wake up with puffy eyes and four missed calls from Sirius from last night and another three from this morning. You delete the notifications and go take a shower, blasting your music. 
You get dressed carelessly, grab your bag, and shove your headphones on. You meet Lily in the living room on the way out, and she looks concerned. She tries to stop you, but you just say “I’m fine” and hurry out the door. 
You walk to a nearby park, a favourite spot of yours, and roam around for a while, hoping unsuccessfully to drown out your feelings in the music and movement. You sit down at a bench and take out your book. After reading the same sentence about ten times, you slam it shut and shove it back in your bag. You just sit there, and you’re struggling to keep the tears away as you let yourself replay your emotions from last night. You lie down on the grass, listening to your music again and shutting your eyes tight. After a while, it suddenly gets darker behind your eyelids, and you open your eyes to see what’s blocking the sun. Fuck. You’ve got to tell Lily to stop giving your phone number and probable locations to arseholes. 
Sirius is standing above you, a desperate look on his face. He squats down and grabs your hands as you move to grab your things, clearly planning to leave.
“Wait, Y/N. Please wait. I’m begging you.” 
“What do you want?” you ask harshly, taking your headphones off. 
“Just to talk to you. Please. Please let me apologize.” “You’ve apologized. Now leave me alone.” You turn away from him again and get up. 
“No, that’s not it. I want to make things right. You have to understand.” “Understand what exactly?” “I like you. I really like you. I think about you all the time; I want to spend more time with you.” “Another instrument in it for you?” you say scathingly. “No, no, of course not. That guitar thing was stupid. Really. It was really fucking stupid, and it was before we’d ever even talked! Well, you’d said a total of six words to me, but still, I had no idea how much I’d want to keep trying to get you to give me a chance without any other incentive.” You don’t say anything, but you also don’t go to leave, and Sirius sees this as serious progress. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I was a complete and total idiot to ever even entertain the idea, but it was just a silly thing before anything else happened.” “And what exactly is it that you think happened?” Your arms are crossed, and you still look like you want to murder him. 
“I saw how fucking incredible you are. And I got it in my head that the thing I want most in the world is a chance to keep seeing how incredible you are. Let’s see. What else happened? I bought a t-shirt just to get your attention; I made a fool of myself in front of my friends from how nervous I was to talk to you; I lost sleep thinking about everything you’d ever said to me, and how you’re like no one I’ve ever met; I wrote and rewrote the simplest message last night like a lovestruck idiot because I was dying for you to say you wanted to see me. Then what else? Oh, right, and correct me if I’m wrong here because this is where you come in: then I had a fucking brilliant time with you last night. I dreamt of wasting time with you, of getting to dance with you again, of making you laugh even though you’re gorgeous even when you look cross — like right now by the way — I even dreamt of sitting in silence with you for fuck’s sake.” He was out of breath by the time he finished his speech.
“How’d you know I liked Greta Van Fleet?” “What?” “I assume that’s the shirt you bought to get my attention. How’d you know I liked them?” “That’s what you’re asking me right now?” “Yes.” “Fucking hell, Y/N.” A beat. “I could hear it from your headphones that second day you blew me off.” You just nod, still looking solemn.
“You’re not,” you say after a moment.
“Not what?”
“Wrong. About last night. You know, its being brilliant. Before… well, before —”
“Before I cocked it all up with silly games I never should’ve played in the first place,” he interrupts. “Before my stomach fucking flipped at reading those messages and my heart broke at seeing you…,” he swallows the knot in his throat, “at making you cry.” He ventures a step toward you, and you don’t move away, just tighten your grip on yourself and look down. “I’m so so sorry I did, Y/N. And I’ll make it up to you if you’ll let me.” He puts a hand on your cheek, caressing you softly. His other hand comes to your arms, uncrossing them and intertwining your fingers with his. He steps a bit closer and speaks more softly as he asks, “What do you say, love?”
You stay silent for a few seconds then say, “Okay.” He scoffs in relief and disbelief, chuckling. 
“I just poured my heart out to you, and all you say is ‘okay’?”
“Yes,” you say, but after a second, a subtle smile lightens your features. He barks a laugh.
“I’ll take it,” he says, kissing your forehead. He lingers there a moment, still caressing your cheek, his lips hovering at your hairline, and when he leans back, he stays very close to your face, looking down at your lips. You push your chin up, bringing your faces even closer together. He smiles at this and closes the shrinking gap. 
Your kiss tastes like possibility, and as Sirius shifts, deepening it, he’s not surprised to find your tongues fall into rhythm with each other as easily as your bodies did on the dance floor last night. 
You clutch his jacket, pulling him closer as he envelops your mouth with his, the warmth of it coursing from where you’re connected down through your entire body. 
He leans his forehead against yours when you break apart. He gives your nose a peck then, your fingers still intertwined, says, “So. What do you want to do now?” “I don’t know.” Not letting go of his hand, you grab your stuff and start walking with him. “Maybe we can waste time. Or sit in silence.” He squints at you.
“Are you taking the piss?”
“Yeah, a little bit, yeah,” you grin guilty. 
He’s laughing, shaking his head, as he sarcastically says, “We’ll see when I make the effort of giving you another romantic speech.”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” you say, squeezing his hand and kissing his cheek.
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indecenthoney · 16 days
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The Edge Game
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You never really know the effects edging has until you actually do it. I know there is that dumb tradition that guys do where they don't nut in November. And believe me, I've done it and I have never felt suffering until that moment. I can be convinced pretty easily. I'm the type of person that'll follow along if you say, "If you do it, I'll do it.". Damn. If you offer me food, I would probably do it. Gets me thinking though if I ever were to make such a pact with a girl bestie.
That being said, I can get pretty competitive. I mean it's just whoever breaks first right? It shouldn't be that hard. Little did I know, it began a chaotic series of events that would test my mental strength. She really is a mischievous one. Longer hugs. Asking for cuddles. Rubbing up against me. Wearing that short little skirt I always liked. I fucking hate her. And I know damn well, she'll pull some other shit when she sleeps over for the night.
"Speak of the devil... Are you ready for movie night? And please for the love of god, don't do anything? I really just want to sit through this movie and get some sleep... Yeah yeah... I made sure to set up your futon... Hey! And again no funny business!"
Seemingly enough, it was a pretty normal movie night. A cuddle was requested, but nothing out of the ordinary. It was about time to go to sleep and thankfully enough I was able to go to bed without any trouble from her. I quickly dozed off. I'm pretty heavy sleeper. Although, I do have the tendency to wake up in the middle of the night to get some things done. Water. Piss. And then, something felt a little off. Something soft. Something wet. I could feel it on the tip of my fingers. A silhouette of my best friend hovering over my hand that was hanging off the bed. She was completely drenched probably from fingers gliding and curling and twitching against her slit.
"D-dude? What the fuck are you doing? Okay okay, this isn't fair... Okay, I did say that you weren't allowed to touch yourself but... using a loophole to get off? And using me? Out of all things? Are you crazy? Really? That's enough... I think we've dragged this competition for far too long... So why don't we end it? You're going to lay in my bed... and cock warm me the entire night... The first to give in or cum loses... Excuse me? I don't think you have a choice after using me in my sleep..."
Pulling her down into my bed and throwing the covers over her. Yanking my underwear down to reveal my twitching boner and pressing it against her opening. Slowly guiding it in and pulling down on her hips to get every inch into her.
"Now... Don't you dare... fucking... move... If you do... you lose... If I move... I lose... Got it?"
Shallow deep breaths hitting each other. My eyes begin to adjust to the darkness revealing her eyes. If I've ever seen those eyes before. Those would be "fuck me" eyes. My cock twitching like crazy against her. Her pussy squeezing against me. Neither of us giving in. My hands made their way to her face. Getting a good look at what my best friend has become. A slut only for me. Her hands grabbed mine; inviting my fingers into her mouth to suck on them. Clearly not breaking the rules. I can't take my eyes off of her.
"If you don't pull me out... right... now... I really will fuck you and get you pregnant... Please... I'm begging you... "
She already reached her limits. There wasn't a single thought behind those pretty eyes; all she wanted to do is be fucked by me. She didn't care anymore. She couldn't think let alone speak. All she could do was kiss me gently and look at me with those fucking eyes. Without hesitation, I grabbed and pinned her wrists down as I topped her. She wraps her legs around my waist. I knew the consequences, but god did I want to fuck her silly. I wanted this brat to know what fear was. What it really meant to be fucked. I kiss her one last time giving her the last taste of what it meant to be gentle before thrusting my hips in the most animalistic way possible. I don't even remember what happened that night. I woke up the next morning. The sight of her, worn out, leaking out my cum. I could hardly stand the sight without getting another boner. One more time wouldn't hurt, would it?
"Hey... Good morning... Shhh shhh... It's okay... Just let me use you, alright? I really need this... I really need you right now... I'll be as gentle as possible... I know I know sweetie... I know you're sensitive, but I need this right now... "
Barely awake, I fuck her gently pumping back her cum-filled holes. Appreciating every inch of her body. Seeing every scratch, bite, or bruise that I may have inflicted on her as I fucked her senseless. I could never imagine someone else doing this to them. It filled me with anger. Men are filthy. They are animals. And I'm no different.
But I learned something. I would never ever share her.
She's mine. All mine.
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Forever yours,
Honey
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Text
Just Your Voice...or something
This ficlet is for @stevethehairington's birthday, the best of celebrations to you, Mack!!! I was thinking for some time what you'd like and I was reminded of your small essay about the Little Mermaid. So...have a Little Mermaid Steddie AU.
The sea witch was supposed to be terrifying, that's what everyone kept telling Steve. He'd sell you potions that would destroy your mind. He'd find any loophole to make you do their bidding. He'd cheat, lie, promise the impossible and connect with the spirits of the deepest ocean to enslave anyone and anything.
The thing was...Steve really did need his help.
The second he entered the witch's cavern, he already felt like he made the worst mistake of his life. There was a huge bubbling cauldron, glowing with whatever toxic stuff the witch was brewing, and from the shelves carved in to the cavern walls, tens of tiny creatures were watching, waiting, following his every move.
"Well well well. Prince Steven himself. I should have cleaned."
Steve turned around so quickly his hair created a halo around his head. There the witch was, sitting on the ceiling with their tentacles wrapped around loose rocks, staring down at Steve, turning their head curiously to the side.
"Uh...what are you doing on the ceiling?" Steve asked, returning the questioning glance.
That made the witch chuckle. "Good question. Stretching. Also it gives me a new perspective."
"An upside down-perspective doesn't sound very useful, but whatever makes you happy," Steve shrugged. "Listen, uh...I came here with a request."
"Oh? A request from the prince himself? I will need a right side up perspective for that then." The witch bounced off the cavern ceiling and landed before Steve with almost staggering grace. Only then could he properly see what they - no, he - looked like. Long, flowy hair around his head, dark eyes and a mischievous smile that gave way more credence to the rumors. He too felt inclined to do whatever the witch asked of him. "Hi," the witch stuck his webbed hand forward, "I'm Eddie, the local witch and the perpetrator of every single bad thing that happens around here. Ever had a bad hair day? That was me."
Laughing, Steve took his hand and shook it. It was becoming more and more difficult to remain cautious when the witch was so charming. "Nice to meet you, Eddie. I'm...well, Steve. You alread know that."
"That I do." Eddie moved backwards and crossed his tentacles in a way that Steve often saw humans do with their...not-tentacles. Legs, they called them. "Well then, Steve. What can this measly witch assist you with? Not that I dislike visitors, but I don't get to see too much royalty around here."
Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes. Royalty, sure. As if he was anything special to his father, his only redeeming feature were his looks, the golden scales and a beautiful mane of sun-kissed hair, that was it. "Funny. Uh, look. I need legs. Also to breathe up there." He pointed vaguely upwards to the distant surface.
Eddie blinked. "Uh. Sure, legs. Dare I ask why? A pretty lady or something in the land above?"
The prince snorted. "Yeah, no. Look, it's not like you care, but there's this kid up there, he almost drowned. Name's Dustin, I think, and I...shit, this sounds way more stupid than I usually do, but I want to make sure he's okay. He didn't look too hot when I dragged him to the beach and his mom was going crazy with worry. So...yeah. That's why."
"That..." Eddie opened his mouth, then closed it. "That's so sweet I might barf."
Steve shrugged and pointed towards the cavern entrance. "Be my - well, your guest, but you might want to do it outside. So. Legs. How much for a pair of legs? A temporary one?"
Eddie grinned at him, twirling his tentacles some more. It was almost hypnotizing. "Oh, I don't know. Pretty difficult, those pesky legs. All those toes, ten of them, that's a full day's job. I'd say the price is...your voice."
Ah, there it was. The evil streak everyone was talking about. Steve just closed his eyes and nodded, resigning himself. "Fine. Take it."
He expected pain, maybe. Or something touching his face, at least. What he didn't expect was a loud fit of laughter invading his ears, reverbating through the cavern.
"What?" he asked Eddie, annoyed.
"You..." wheezed Eddie, wiping at his face, even if any and all tears would dissolve in water instantly, "you really thought I was serious? That I'd do some evil crap like that? Ah, man. My reputation has to be way worse than I assumed."
Steve's scowl sent him into another fit of giggles while the prince searched for a reasonable response that didn't include punching the witch. Just a little. "Okay then, so what do you want?" he snapped.
One mighty sweep of tentacles and Eddie was next to him, hand over his soulders. His black scales were smooth and surprisingly pleasant to the touch. "Geez, Stevie, calm down. Contrary to what you might believe, I'm not that bad."
"Yeah?" Scanning the walls of the cavern, he noticed the scared eyes of the tiny creatures around. "Care to tell me if those poor, unfortunate souls moved here voluntarily?"
Eddie just snickered and crooked his finger at one of them, inviting it closer. It wiggled in the water a little before slowly descending into his palm. He touched its forehead with a long finger and muttered an incantation. And just like that, in a puff of colorful swirls, floated Chrissy, with her golden hair and forest green tail. "So, Chris," drawled Eddie, "care to describe to prince Steven here how I kidnapped you and forced you to live here with me?"
"I..." Steve was at loss of words. "I thought you left? Or disappeared?"
Chrissy snorted and moved closer to Eddie, finding comfort under his arm. "Yeah, I did both. Because Jason wouldn't leave me alone. I came to Eddie for advice on where I could go, but he let me stay here, in a changed form...for my own protection. Just like the others. Really, Steve, prejudice doesn't suit you." Turning back to Eddie, she nudged his side. "Hey, Eddie, can you change me back? I'll take a brief nap."
Ruffling her hair, he touched her forehead. "Sure thing, Chris. Off to the bed with you." And just like that, she was a tiny octopus again, floating to her shelf.
"Oh wow," breathed out Steve. "I feel like a huge asshole. That's...that's actually really nice of you."
Eddie shrugged, returning to his cauldron. "What can I say. The rumors are useful, it keeps the rich and mighty assholes out. Except for this asshole," he pointed at Steve with one of his tentacles, but there was no venom. "So, legs. Can do, a small spell and you'll change when you exit water, you'll have your tail back when you re-enter it. Just a small warning for you - you'll want to get covered when you get up there. There's going to be...something...where the front of your tail is and humans don't like to see that."
Steve snickered at that. He definitely saw one of those during his trips to the surface and he absolutely didn't want to see that either. He watched as Eddie muttered something weird and deep that sent sparkles towards his tail. "Great, thank you. Uh. So, what about the payment? What do you want?"
Eddie rolled his eyes at him. "Whatever. You want to check on a kid, so it's not like I'm going to charge you something crazy. Two pebbles, a pretty mug for my cavern, whatever."
"Do you like anything from the world above I could bring you?" Steve asked, moving closer to the cauldron. "Since I'll be there. They have a lot of interesting stuff."
"Hmmm...maybe..." Look, mermen normally didn't blush, but Steve could swear Eddie's cheeks turned a bit darker. A strand of his wavy hair floated into his mouth and he started chewing on it nervously. "OK, so theoretically. If you were to find one or two. Apples? Do you know what those are?"
The shame in Eddie's face had Steve laughing, clutching his sides. He just looked adorable, trying not to ruin his cultivated image. "Sure, I know them. They float, but I'll get them down here. You've got a sweet tooth, huh?"
"Not a word, prince," the witch threatened, pulling more and more hair in front of his face. "No one will believe you. Now shoo, go check on your kid and find me some apples."
Steve saluted him. "Shall do, oh mighty witch!" With a single sweep of his golden tail, he was gone.
When everything quieted down, Eddie stayed hunched at his cauldron. He didn't really foresee this day going so...weird. Not bad, but weird.
"You like him."
He scowled at the tiny Chrissy creature that floated in front of him with a smug expression. "Oh shoo with you too. He's going to check on the kid and fall in love with a pretty lady or a princess above, or he's going to toss a half-rotten apple to me when he comes back and will never speak to me again. They always do."
She floated closer and nuzzled under his chin. "I don't know, Eddie," she sighed. "He seemed like a good guy. And he had those eyes. Just wait, I'm about to earn an I-told-you-so."
- - -
Eddie hated being wrong. But when, not even a day later, he found Steve waiting in front of his cavern, a satchel of apples in hand (well, above his head, struggling to keep it underwater) and a wide smile on his face, he thought being wrong wasn't the worst thing in the world.
"Welcome back, your highness," he invited Steve in. "So, how was your child friend?"
Steve beamed at him, his face bright even in the shadow of Eddie's abode. "He's doing well. A bit shaken, but recovering. His mom was really grateful, both to me and you. She sent you this...what did she call it. Token of appreciation from her garden. They should be one of the sweetest types." He handed Eddie the satchel and watched with fondness as the sea witch shoved his hand in, grabbing a beautiful red apple and taking a bite. The look on his face was pure bliss.
One crunch later, Eddie opened one of his eyes and looked at Steve. "Want one?"
"Uh, I..." Steve stammered. "They're your payment, I couldn't-"
Shaking his head, Eddie shoved an apple into his hand. "Don't give me that crap. You saved the kid, you deserve an apple. Now make yourself comfortable. Unless you're afraid to stay?"
Steve laughed and floated closer to Eddie, taking a bite of his apple. "Of you, Eddie? Never."
The crunching of apples was loud in the cavern, but not enough to drown out the quiet "I told you so" from the highest shelf.
(also, I forgot to mention this, but the cauldron? It was soup. Eddie is feeding a full cavern of runaways so of course he needs to cook in bulk)
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illubean · 4 months
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if your requests are open: i just saw your post on hxh character reacting to a reader who smokes, what about a reader who smokes 🍃? :3
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HXH with a Stoner!S/o
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Characters: Kurapika Kurta, Leorio Paladaknight, Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Porter Type: idk again lol!, Headcanons, Gn!reader
man I wish I could answer two requests at the same time so other anon I hope you find this
Warnings: drug use, mentions of addiction/smoking
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Kurapika Kurta
oh he likes this even less
he sees this as an addiction and to be fair it is in fact justifiable
if you hit him with the "I'm not addicted I can quit whenever I want"
he's throwing all your shit out
you said you could quit right? so quit
he watches after you when you're high with a disapproving shake of his head
he makes sure you're well fed, watered and comfortable
if you're giggly and speaking nonsense he just sighs and tells you to go to bed
he cuddles with you to physically keep you from doing something stupid
Leorio Paladaknight
sooo despite him being anti vape and cigarette he's actually more ok with weed
it has medical properties if ingested properly so he doesn't freak out as hard
still doesn't like the fact that you smoke so often though
you can still damage your lungs
he'll probably ban you from smoking at some point bc of how worried he is
buttttttt a loophole to this is to do edibles 🧍🧍🧍
he's going to voice his opinion on your habits
he doesn't like that you're always stoned so pls take breaks for him lol..
Illumi Zoldyck
the smell of weed is significantly worse than cigarettes so big nono for him
he literally would not stand in a 16 foot radius of you sry 🧍
he probably finds you being high all the time annoying
like tf you so giggly for
he cannot have a conversation with you when you're high, it gets nowhere and ends with him annoyed
like I said in my last post he doesn't care what you do to yourself but he actually thinks your habit is insufferable
Chrollo Lucilfer
in my head he would be a dealer in a modern type au
he'd smoke with you tbh
he doesn't mind you smoking weed but jesus you're high every day??
he definitely thinks your habit isn't the healthiest but hey who is he to tell you what to do
he thinks its funny when you get high sometimes
but he doesn't like it when he has to babysit you because you greened out or can't function at all
BUT he will still take care of you
he makes sure you drink enough water and lays you down somewhere safe
Feitan Porter
this little shit probably smokes too
nightmare blunt rotation but its just you feitan and phinks
he could care less when or how often you're high as long as he doesn't have to keep an eye on you (wow what a great bf)
don't expect much help from him if you end up going overboard
if he gets high with you I can see it going two ways
either he's chill and relaxed or he's going to do something stupid
I feel like he's the type of guy to eat rice straight out of the cooker with his bare hands if he gets high (me im that type of person)
but yeah he doesn't care what you do as long as you're not in his way
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sparrowhero · 2 years
Note
could u do a hawks, dabi, and shigaraki x weird! reader hcs? like reader sometimes says the most out of pocket shit and they have a interesting background already involved in crime b4 they met them?
oh this is right up my alley. alright, here we go!
Weird!Reader HCs-- Hawks, Shigaraki, Dabi under cut
Hawks
Depending on the severity and legality of said weird shit, he either thinks it's funny or is a little bit concerned. It's usually the former, but if you're a rehabilitated (or at least, trying to rehabilitate yourself), he's going to be the angel on your shoulder saying "Maybe we shouldn't light that guy's house on fire, babe. Even if nobody could prove it"
If it's more mundane out of pocket shit, like "I used to eat bugs out of the dirt and pretend I was Timon and Pumba from Lion King", he's more likely to be like "Word, I used to pretend I was Simba." While he's also a very naturally serious guy in his work, being able to be genuinely carefree and silly helps relax him.
He's so used to being able to read people and calculate their reactions and intentions, so not being able to predict whatever the fuck may come out of your mouth next is a real treat for him. Keeps things fresh and exciting in a world where so many things can bore him. He's also just kind of a hype man for his significant other anyways so he's just as much the type to be like "Ain't that cute?" whenever you say something that most other people would kind of raise their eyebrow about.
It would be hypocritical of him to judge you for your past, but he really won't tolerate that shit now. He secretly finds it a little hot that you used to be 'bad' but the less he knows about the serious things you may or may not have done, the better. He cannot defend you if they find a body in your apartment, sweetheart, no matter how much you make those eyes.
Shigaraki
Plays the straight man perfectly to your funny guy. He always has a smartass remark or raised eyebrow when you say something, but also plays along completely seriously every single time without fail.
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Shigaraki thinks for a moment. "...I'd at least get you some kind of dirt bowl to live in until you turned back."
He likes to bounce potential ideas off of you because of your experiences. You can say some weird shit, but more often than not, you can find the exploitable loopholes in "traditional" thinking. That's a skill one needs when trying to completely overthrow and restructure society. Even in your weirdness, most of your suggestions have more basis than some of the other opinions in the league. Besides, you make him laugh. That's a rare skill around there. He never admits it, just turns around and you can see his shoulders shake a little bit.
You cannot be trusted around Toga and Twice because the three of you will somehow create the most intricate inside jokes that make sense to nobody but the three of you. It's nice that you all get along, though. He won't participate but he does sit close by so he can hear you laugh and enjoy yourself.
Dabi
Takes everything you say in stride. He's around weirdos at the League all day anyways, one more by his side can't hurt-- besides, a little strangeness is far from a crime. There are worse things you can say or do. Sometimes he raises an eyebrow or ignores if it's really an inappropriate or unreasonable/feasible response for the situation, but that's rare.
Unlike Hawks or Shigaraki, he's going to play along with you more than the other two. Like...maybe you SHOULD kill that guy. You might have a point. You have an uncanny habit of saying exactly what he was thinking or wants to hear, which earns points with him.
More of the type to have discussions with you based on the weird shit you say. He likes to know why you say certain things, the conclusions that brought you there, things like that. He likes to pick apart your brain to figure out just how it 'ticks' and why he can't get enough of it.
One of his favorite things to do is just watch you while you go off on one of your tangents. He doesn't always have something to say, so he just listens and absorbs whatever it is that you have going on. Sometimes it's your past (a wild ride, definitely), sometimes it's just wherever the conversation leads you. Doesn't judge you on what you may have had to do or experience to get where you are, the important thing is you're with him now for a truly important purpose.
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rist-ix · 2 months
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Hiiiii Rist 😊 This will be long, but I promise I get to the point as soon as I can, just need to explain things. Also, you know how you replied to my last ask and said Soarked!Valtor would be use if Bloom got with someone “competent and worthy of her” like Stella?
Sooo, I have a head canon of Queen Marion being the younger sister of a Solarian king from 200 years in the show’s past and in this head canon, Stella’s dad King Radius met Bloom’s adoptive parents at Stella’s behest in Season 1 during a school break or something and he becomes quick friends with Mike.
Radius and Mike get drunk and decide that Radius will be Bloom’s godfather and when she’s in the magic dimension he’s her legal guardian and Mike will be the same with Stella when she’s on Earth.
Radius views this as advantageous since not only will Stella be happy to have Bloom as practically family, he’ll also be able to keep an eye on Bloom in case she decides to stake a claim on the Solarian throne, something she can do because of her “purer blood” aka half Domino royalty half Solarian Royalty.
Fast forward, we’re in season 3. Stella has been disinherited and can’t be queen. Cassandra is already practically queen, she just needs to marry Radius, so she’s over confident and starts poisoning him to weaken him and make him die quickly. Radius is somewhat aware of this and with what little spite and resistance he has against her, before falling into a coma that will eventually lead to death, he edits his will.
In that will previously, he said that in the event that something happens to him and Stella is unable to rule or take the throne and Domino was still gone (or if it was back and somehow Daphne was too, meaning Bloom wouldn’t be queen of Domino), Bloom was to become Solaria’s next queen. Radius edited this, now nearly dead, and says that Bloom WILL be queen, on the condition she marries Stella.
It’s like this because he’s already disinherited her and can’t resist Cassandra enough to change that, so he does this, knowing that Bloom would do it to make sure Stella becomes queen.
And she would. The moment Bloom finds out, she unceremoniously proposes to Stella.
Now here’s the actual ask, if Sparked!Valtor found out about this, what would he do? Cuz Bloom WILL marry Stella to help her keep her throne and keep Cassandra off of it. Would he turn his back on Cassandra or help/cure Radius?
So sorry for the REALLY long ask. Didn’t think it would turn out like this, but I’m really curious!
First of all, I am so sorry for the long silence. Secondly, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, rip Valtor. Wonderful ask, 10/10, no notes.
I’m not gonna pretend I know jack shit about how succession works/could work in the MD, but that sounds hilarious. I'm not sure in how far I trust Radius (who seems a bit too laissez-faire and whimsical for serious politics) would be able to plan this ahead, but I can SEE it in my head how the girls would be laboring over text books, rules-lawyering their way through 1500 year old succession law to find a loophole that will keep Stella in power. And then as soon as they take a closer look at their family trees they just go huh. Wouldn’t that be funny? Stella and Bloom rolling up to Cassandra’s party in two gorgeous revenge wedding dresses like TOO LATE FUCKERS we beat you to it. Guess who's also got a claim now, and no living parents to disinherit her.
Imagining what Valtor would do in this scenario is my favorite pastime now, because oh my god he literally can’t win. He'd probably be seething-sulking-whining in his current hideout because WHAT DO YOU MEAN BLOOM GOT MARRIED OFF-SCREEN?! To someone that is royal, powerful AND emotionally close with her?! And, stars beware, prettier than him?! (Bloom's words, not mine)
He didn’t even get the chance to crash their wedding because they probably eloped on the spot. He is inconsolable; he had an outfit for that exact occasion.
And now he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, because either he continues backing Cassandra but has to watch Stella and Bloom be extra lovey-dovey on every news channel there is, or he withdraws Cassandra's powers in the hopes that that means Stella and Bloom have no more need for this marriage and divorce. Which, realistically, probably wouldn’t happen in time for his sanity to recover. They're having far too much fun with this, and Bloom really was only like one romantic sunset away from discovering bisexuality at any given moment.
On the plus side, I think he'd really enjoy being Queen Bloom's secret sidepiece if he gave it a chance. Ra-ra-Rasputin style: the secret evil magician lover lol
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