#eating disorder tw

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone.  

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Eating Disorders Association (support, resources, treatment options)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find help lines related to eating disorders for your country. 

For self-help courses on body image and general peer support, please try Koko. 

If you need some inspiration and comfort on your dashboard, follow Post It Forward on Tumblr.

#tumblr #counseling #prevention #self harm #psa #Tumblr support #tumblr help #tumblr staff #eating disorder #recovery #treatment

[catgirl-kaiju]

me: hmh getting hungry

adhd: u can't eat rn you're already doing something

autism: there is nothing in the house that u like

anorexia: like u even need any calories

trauma: u've barely done anything today. you don't deserve to eat

little anime girl: burg her

me: burg her...

me:

little anime girl:

#shitpost #comedy #humor #legit anime girls eating burgers has helped with my ed so much #adhd #eating disoder recovery #anorexia #ed #eating disorder tw #burger #anime #trauma #traume recovery #mental health #actuallyadhd #actuallyautistic #autistic #tw disordered eating #neurodivergent

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I feel like we need to be talking more about this book and Jennette McCurdy in general

#child abuse tw #not a dream #abuse tw #jennette mccurdy #nickelodeon #eating disorder tw #disordered eating tw #ed tw

[she-whodreams]

Im back fellas

#Tw ed #ed tingz #ed meme #ed memes #thinspo #Ana #Mia #anamia #ednos #osfed #ed no sheeran #it’s not as simple as just eating #weightloss #food restriction #disordered eating tw #eating disorder tw #edtw #skinny #im so hoping no one did this before

[anakinism]

#girlhood

#genvedit #tvedit #dailytvwomen #televisongifs #cinematv #dailyflicks #gen v #marie moreau #emma meyer #cate dunlap #jordan li #mine #eating disorder tw

[what-even-is-thiss]

I don’t really talk much about my personal history with eating disorders and especially my bulimic tendencies partially because I’m just not that emo about it like it genuinely doesn’t bother me anymore and partially because I’m still obese after all that and people just don’t wanna confront the fact that all that nonsense just doesn’t make you skinny. It doesn’t even work. Like not only is it bad and dangerous it doesn’t even work. Like. I went through all that and what did I get? A cavity.

#eating disoder trigger warning #eating disorder tw

[knifewieldingenby]

If I have to read one more "I hate picky eaters, they have the taste palette of a 5-year-old" post, I WILL actually start killing people. You don't want to be around "picky eaters?" Fine, then get the fuck away from us. We're better off without your judgment.

"But wahhhh why won't they just try something new" Shut. Up. Look up how things like adhd, autism, depression, and many more affect eating. Look up food allergies, intolerances, and general sensitivities. FUCKING LOOK UP ARFID. Seriously I am so damn tired of people not knowing shit about arfid, refusing to research even when I tell them about it (most of my doctors don't even know anything about it even though they've known about my struggles for over two years!) And then you have the nerve to shame us for dealing with an eating disorder that is fuck all hard to work through cuz, again, no one knows fucking shit about it and they don't want to learn! My therapist reached out to an eating disorder clinic to find help for me, and the only goddamn one who even knew it existed was the director.

Stay the hell away from so-called "picky eaters" if you're gonna make post after post complaining about how annoying you find us, or how you just so badly want to go to restaurants with your friend but they eat like a child! Go alone, asshole.

#arfid #autism #actually autistic #not a fan of that tag but it finds a good chunk of the community #avoid restrictive food intake disorder #actually adhd #adhder #eating disorder tw #and I know like all my other serious posts this will hardly get notes but I hope someone even one damn person #sees this and takes it to heart

[nyancrimew]

it'd be kinda cool if tumblr didn't show me like 4 different fasting ads a day

#eating disorder tw

[scientia-rex]

It is WILD to me that people continue to think they can "gotcha" me into saying the science on weight loss doesn't say what it says. Like, it's not what the authors say; it's what the data reflect. And the data don't give one single hot shit about your reason for wanting weight loss. You can have a terrible reason or a great reason and it doesn't matter. The reason behind your desire for an outcome doesn't change whether the data support the likelihood of it happening or not. There isn't a secret Option C here. The options are A) try to make peace with your weight or B) fight it forever. And if you fight it, the data are pretty clear that you're worse off than if you make peace and take the best care of yourself that you can. You can hate vegetables, you can want it to be easier to find clothes that fit, you can be disabled and find physical exertion challenging, but it doesn't matter. There is no secret option where, because you hate vegetables, your body works differently than every other body that's been studied.

There IS a database of people who have managed to sustain long-term large-scale weight loss. They're so rare we study them extensively. In general, they eat severely restricted diets and exercise for at least an hour a day. I have no desire to recommend eating disorders to my patients. If staying thin is occupying time and brain-space you could be putting into other things that are more meaningful to you, do those other things.

#the attending dr. kristophine #eating disorder tw

[muppetmagic]

ANTI-HERO

#tswiftedit #taylor swift #midnights #anti hero #musicedit #made by me** #eating disorder tw

[uncanny-tranny]

The thing that sucks about disordered eating recovery is that... you're expected to have a completely healthy relationship with food, eating, and exercise, but you also need to know and self-enforce the idea of Good Foods and Bad Foods, and you also cannot recover into a fat body or keep a fat body, but you also need to effortlessly maintain a thin and trim body. You also can't make other people (i.e. the "normal" folk) uncomfortable if you aren't doing okay or if you have a disordered experience. But you also cannot "glamourize" your past experience, even if you aren't glamourizing it at all.

It's really hard to internalize the idea that there isn't a "good" way to recover, and that recovery will look different. I always felt so out of place amongst people who don't get it because they often have their own ideas of your experience that they expect or even demand you adhere to.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #recovery #disordered eating #disordered eating tw #eating disorder tw #ed tw #not to MENTION how awful recovered/recovering fat folk are treated in this because of the inherent fatohobia in how recovery is seen/treated #i feel this twofold as a trans man because of the way i'm simultaneously supposed to not have this experience... #...but also must adhere to the idea of having a small little body that doesn't 'impose' or is too becoming for a (trans) man #i'm trying to keep a good outlook on my own recovery and my fitness journey but it can suck y'know

[teaboot]

was feeling some jiggle at work today and thought "huh maybe I should try a diet" and that's how I know the devil came close. Prescribing myself 2 weeks chillin at home in lingerie till the auras are purified

#Diet culture #Fuck that shit #I'm cute as hell #Eating disorder tw #Just in case

[egberts]

fat phobia is so insane my own mother calls me model-body and skinny and has a fucking complex about it when I've been losing weight due to epileptic seizures. her own internalized fat phobia is trying to praise me for being extremely ill. I want to scream

yup, my mom is actually a fat woman and would do the same thing. their generation was raised during a rapid decline in public opinion on fat people, when being fat was really starting to be equated with being ugly and a moral failing. this is a really good video i watched a few weeks ago about the history of fat fashion that talks about this topic a lot

it's bad to the point that when I went to the doctor for antidepressants and one of the side effects was weight loss the doctor got happy and acted like that was a good thing, that I'd be losing weight from not eating because my new antidepressants suppressed my appetite

#eating disorder tw

[genderkoolaid]

people will genuinely seriously unironically be like there is an eating disorder epidemic so many people from all ages are literally dying and doing awful unhealthy things to get skinny.... what do you mean fatphobia lol that's not a system of oppression. being fat is just unhealthy and bad. anyways what could POSSIBLY be causing so many unhealthy relationships with food and weight

#m. #fatphobia #ed tw #eating disorder tw

[taylorswiftdebut]

i swear to god i swear to god! some of you need to rewatch Miss Americana and realize that yes these candids are exciting but she hasn’t been “hiding” or “silenced from being her true self” because of joe she has stated on MULTIPLE occasions how bad being photographed constantly like that is bad for her mental health! in fact in Miss Americana she talk about in July 2018 (a time when was literally dating joe btw) that all those candids of her in new york were so bad for her mental health because she overanalyzed them like it was literally the segue in the film she used to talk about her eating disorder and maybe that mindset has changed but i don’t know how y’all can go from seeing taylor talk about how bad being photographed like that was for her to suddenly thinking “oh she wasnt getting photographed cause her boyfriend couldn’t handle it” like shut up i’ll kill you 💔

#tw: eating disorder #eating disorder tw #eris: text

[red-moon-at-night]

Let's talk a little bit about Mahiru's boyfriend

This post is alternatively titled "Mahiru's Boyfriend Probably Had An Eating Disorder And I Am Very Sad About It So Now You Get To Be Sad About It With Me" but that felt a bit much in the bold title font so I'm trying to tone this down at least a little bit :')

So I was reading this wonderful post earlier (you should too btw it has a LOT of interesting information), and as I was going through the food section something clicked in my brain. Pieces of information that were drifting aimlessly before quickly came together for me and I almost wish they hadn’t because oh boy is it depressing.

Now, nothing I’m about to say here is explicitly stated - but I do think it is strongly insinuated, through the MVs of both ‘This Is How To Be In Love With You’ (TIHTBILWY what an acronym wow) and ‘I Love You’. I am aware that the latter video has a lot of metaphorical imagery, but I still think some of this imagery can be taken in a literal sense to reinforce ideas established in TIHTBILWY.

TW/Trigger Warnings: discussion of eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, etc.), discussion of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Please take these into consideration and stay safe!

credit to iaobug’s transcribed images from ‘This Is How To Be In Love With You’ used below btw!

Now I’ve always had an inkling this could be possible, but I didn’t realise until recently there was this much evidence supporting a little idea of mine dancing around in my head.

But First, Some Quick Definitions and Criteria

First things first, I think we should briefly clarify what an eating disorder is and what eating disorder I think Mahiru’s boyfriend most likely had.

Here are some definitions:

Eating disorders are behavioral conditions characterized by severe and persistent disturbance in eating behaviors and associated distressing thoughts and emotions. They can be very serious conditions affecting physical, psychological and social function. (source)

An eating disorder is a mental health condition where you use the control of food to cope with feelings and other situations. (source)

And here are some brief introductions to several types of eating disorders:

The most common eating disorders are:

anorexia nervosa – trying to control your weight by not eating enough food, exercising too much, or doing both bulimia – losing control over how much you eat and then taking drastic action to not put on weight binge eating disorder (BED) – eating large portions of food until you feel uncomfortably full

Other specified feeding or eating disorder (OSFED) – A person may have an OSFED if their symptoms do not exactly fit the expected symptoms for any specific eating disorders.

(source)

Okay, so we have some basic information down, cool! This is not fully comprehensive but it will do for the purposes of this segment.

So what eating disorder do I believe Mahiru’s boyfriend had? 

I’m not sure! The information we have is not conclusive enough for me to confidently pick an option. What I will say is most likely, and most common, is OSFED and the concept of the eating disorder cycle. People’s symptoms will often overlap with multiple diagnoses, or shift from one mode of behaviour (e.g. the restrictive eating behaviours found in anorexia) to another (e.g. binge eating and following compensatory behaviours found in bulimia).

Things are often not as clear-cut or black and white as we’d like to imagine.

Let’s move onto looking at the MVs, shall we?

This first music video has a wealth of information hidden in its cute magazine-style annotations and imagery - information that, when you look a little closer and consider the bigger picture, raises all the alarm bells in my mind.

Parts of ‘This Is How To Be In Love With You’ That Make Me Pause In Concern, In Chronological Order:

The Bread

Let's start off with a not very obvious one.

One of the first things we learn about Mahiru’s soon-to-be-boyfriend (which by the way this is literally the 2nd time he’s mentioned) is ‘wow he buys a lot of bread’. Insignificant on its own, I know, but consider this through my lens if you will: my man has bought 5 whole baguettes from a bakery. Not 2 or 3, but 5. Actually, on closer inspection there's even more bread of a different type at the bottom of that bag too. These aren’t store-bought, they’re fresh and will probably go stale in a few days. Pray tell, if the man is not eating baguette for breakfast lunch and dinner over the course of 72 hours... why did he buy so much fucking bread?

What comes to mind when I see this is binge eating. Bread is one of the most common binge foods out there; anything with high carbohydrates or high fat content, in fact, often due to its “unhealthy” or “forbidden” nature.

We'll just have a quick look at Mahiru's comment again:

"I thought to buy the same bread he did, but this is far too much for me to eat... ><

I forgot to ask how many calories there are..."

If it hasn't been established by now with the MV's aesthetic, Mahiru cares about her appearance. A lot. Her self-image and beauty directly ties into looking 'good' enough for others, so she can find the love of her life and please him with her looks.

If Mahiru is also calorie counting, this does not bode well for their relationship. I should probably speak in past tense, actually... Mahiru's own self-image behaviours made her blind to her boyfriend's self-image behaviours. There we go.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

So, We have an indication of binge eating behaviours. Remind me again what comes after binging?

The Jogging Hobby

Oh, that’s right - purging.

Excessive exercise is an indirect method of purging/compensatory behaviour found in bulimia. A more commonly known purging method is self-induced vomiting, but that's certainly not the only way to counteract excess calories. 

So the jogging, while harmless in isolation, is starting to paint an ever-so-slightly worrying picture.

Again, let's take a look at Mahiru's comment:

"I had a chance to chat with him today, and he mentioned his hobby was jogging. ... I haven't exercised this much in ages... I'm totally exhausted..." 

The only hobby (not hobbies but hobby, singular) that we learn the boyfriend has is this. Sure, there's one movie that he also likes... but that's it. There's not much else to him! So when the two most prevalent ideas attached to this guy are 'food' (in excess) and 'exercise' (in excess)... you can see where I'm going with this.

And by the way, the post I linked at the very beginning? Well, they worked out the location of where this running loop is, and judging by Mahiru’s position and direction it would suggest she’s already jogged about 5km and beginning another loop. So we’re looking at a jog ranging from 5-10km (or more)...

The Alcohol

Okay, here's a quick pop quiz question for you. Who is more likely to get drunk on the same volume of alcohol: a 5"1 woman, or an average height (5"7 in Japan) man?

In theory, it should be the 5"7 man on the basis of his height and size. Alcohol tolerance goes up the bigger you are. 

So why is it that the boyfriend ended up blackout drunk, and Mahiru... didn't?

Let’s take a look at the comment:

“My first date at a bar, how heartpounding!

Here is where I learned he’s the biggest lightweight I’ve ever met! ...or maybe I’m just really good at holding alcohol?

Whatever the case, blackout drunk him is so cute!”

Three possible options:

Mahiru really can 'hold her liquor'. Judging by her sheltered home life and general lack of adult life experience though, I'm gonna press x to doubt here sorry mappi.

The boyfriend drunk more alcohol than Mahiru. Also unlikely, as she calls him a 'lightweight' and I think she would've highlighted this in her comment.

He drank on an empty stomach. Alcohol absorbs way faster if you haven't had anything to eat beforehand. This, I think is the most likely scenario.

Here's a little more on the subject that I found interesting:

You absorb 20 per cent of alcohol into your bloodstream through your stomach and the rest into your bloodstream through your small intestine.

Drinking a small amount of alcohol stimulates your appetite because it increases the flow of stomach juices. A large amount of alcohol dulls your appetite and can cause malnutrition. (source)

What have we learnt so far?

So we’ve established some concerning behaviours here.

He eats in excess

He exercises in excess

He drinks in excess (on an empty stomach)

I’m actually going to move onto material from the ‘I Love You’ MV, but intertwine it with some of the remaining points from TIHTBILWY. 

At this point the relationship has progressed, we’re moving into winter which brings with it the holiday season! Yay! Except not yay, because things are starting to look really bad for Mahiru’s boyfriend. We've gone from this:

To this:

The carousel was fine at first but now it’s taking its toll on him. Both of them have tattered clothes but Mahiru looks optimistic, whilst the boyfriend looks very distraught. His cheekbones are visible and overall he looks a lot less healthy. I guess this is a good time to point out how distinct and visible his collarbone has been this entire time by the way? He’s even bonier than before. Not great.

A lot of events occur at this time of year, such as Christmas (celebrated between couples in Japan as more of a lovers holiday) and new years. What happens a lot during that period of time? Food. Lots of it. This point in the year is not ideal for someone suffering from a worsening eating disorder. This is a period of time which someone would want to move very quickly from because they can’t see the end of it.

I think it’s time to read Mahiru’s comment from day 15:

“Happy new years! To celebrate, we went to a shrine.

Predictably, I already have my wish in mind.

May we stay like this until the end of time.

May nobody stand in my way”

She, on the other hand, is very happy for things to remain as they are.

Day 16 - AKA, Oh No Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong

This is where the narrative hits its climax and everything starts to snowball.

Now, we reach this scene where the boyfriend stops walking and breaks down. He kneels on the ground, digs his nails into it, and pleads for... something. Help? An intervention? A stop to this carousel that’s doing him no good and only making his health (physical and mental) worse?

He never speaks. It is a silent plea.

One that Mahiru misses.

Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin

My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight

Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right

What did you do, Mahiru?

I believe that this scene and response:

Is directly parallel to this event:

As in, they’re the same thing. 

One more comment to read:

He’ll be in for a big, delicious surprise once he gets home!

I’ve made SO many notes about his favorite foods, and practiced my butt off!

I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees it all.

Her love - her surprise buffet to cheer him up - scored an own goal, so to speak.

I don’t think I need to say much about this picture, or this scene. She’s giving him excess but that excess is literally driving him over the edge. The nuance is lost between them, and they both need different things from each other and they’re not getting it. Cake to rats, rats to cake.

They’re back on the carousel, spinning around and around with things never changing, no end in sight.

I want to end on this frame of the MV. You see the pole behind the boyfriend? It’s reminding me of rope, and of a certain visual at the end of the video. The juxtaposition of Mahiru forcing her ‘love’ onto him, and of suicidal ideation being the only way off this ride and his problems.

#milgram #mahiru shiina #analysis #long post #eating disorder tw #anorexia tw #bulimia tw #this is how to be in love with you #ai nan desu yo #I love you #daisuki #I DID THE THING and it's... long. and sad :( #this was a really interesting interpretation to write! it's certainly not bulletproof but I truly believe this guy had problems in life #and mahiru couldn't have changed that fact. did she help? not really! did things get bad bad? y. yeah. but! ... #...I have nothing uplifting to say here. her love was plentiful and well meaning but woefully misguided </3 #I genuinely care about this nameless character now... he looks so happy at the start embracing her and im certain in better-- #--days between them they were having a great lovey dovey time!! ugH my heart it hurts..... #if there's typos it's because it's late and I'm tired LMAO