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tightjeansjavi · 1 day

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‘Cause After Midnight…

A/N: this idea came to be randomly yesterday morning and thus the brain rot began! Idk about y’all, but I would do ANYTHING for slumber party!Dieter 🤭 big thank you to @chronically-ghosted for sharing the brain rot cell with me this week! 🫡

~word count: 8.5k~ yeaaaah idk what happened!

Summary: a slumber party with your bestie Dieter Bravo, after midnight! What could possibly happen between the two of you?

Pairing | slumber party!dieter x best friend female!reader

Warnings: smut, fluff, a little sprinkle of angst, DUBIOUS CONSENT, mentions of alcohol and ouid smoking, infidelity (not by dieter) toxic relationship (Dieter’s ex) denial of feelings, secret pining, best friends to lovers?, pussy pronouns, domestic intimacy, mutual masturbation, masturbation with a shower head (iykyk), sexual tension, language, dirty talk, unprotected piv, aftercare, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is bug, +18 minors dni!

Being Dieter Bravo’s best friend since…well, forever, came with a long list of perks. Your favorite perk of all, you may ask? Getting to spend time with your best friend. Whether that was at his home, lounging side by side next to his inground pool, stumbling out of a DTLA nightclub, clammy hands entwined together as you head to the nearest street food cart ASAP (Dieter demands steak tacos when he’s wasted) or when you were his glittering gem on the red carpet, dodging the incessant questions from the red carpet wasps—I mean, interviewers asking you and Dieter if you were dating.

It was like clockwork, you and Dieter would look at one another, laugh and shake your heads in sync, “us, dating? No, you have it all wrong! We’re simply just two besties that do everything together, don’t get it twisted!” (So what if you and Dieter would sometimes get equally wasted in the club and drunkenly makeout…and sometimes, while making out, he would grope your ass beneath your dress—you were just friends! Best friends kiss like all the time…right?)

Of course, Hollywood didn’t buy it despite yours and Dieter’s repetitive denial, and the fact that Dieter was currently smitten with his girlfriend—well, ex-girlfriend now. The tabloids spewed their cheap gossip, but your friendship with Dieter never soured.

You frequently slept over on the weekends he was home. It was your shared routine from Friday-Sunday (sometimes even Mondays), you and Dieter would get higher than two kites, cross off a few movies on your watch lists, paint together, and order takeout for every meal. Truthfully, it was fucking bliss.

This weekend, in particular, Dieter decided he wanted to have a whole ass slumber party. (Not nearly as extravagant as the princess diaries slumber party, or the Barbie movie) but Dieter knew how to throw a killer intimate slumber party. He invited all of his close, niche friends including you. He already had a whole array of different foods to munch on throughout the night so that no one would go hungry.

As always, Dieter was nearly glued to your side and if it were anyone else, or any other man for that matter, you would be annoyed, but when it came to Dieter, you shared your small bubble of space happily with him.

Everything was going swimmingly, until Dieter’s ex showed up uninvited. Dieter was in the whirlpool, wearing the tiniest swim trunks known to man. He had a beer in one hand while his other arm was resting along the outside of the hot tub. He was mid conversation, laughing about something one of his friends said before his eyes met yours when you appeared from the kitchen, a nervous look plastered on your face as you approached the hot tub.

“Hey, Dee?..” you crouched down along the edge of the hot tub.

“Yeah, bug?” He took a sip of his beer, brow cocking in curiosity. “What’s up? Why do ya look so worried?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, Dee. Just uh—well, your ex just sorta showed up uninvited. She’s in the kitchen—”

“What the fuck do you mean she just sorta showed up?! What the fuck.” He groaned, dragging his wet hand across his face, squeezing his eyes shut. “I reckon she just invited herself in, too?”

Your nod confirmed his suspicions. “Unfortunately she did. I told her she wasn’t welcome, but she essentially told me to fuck off.” You stifled a laugh.

“Yeah, well, she’s never exactly been the type to respect boundaries.” He sighed and handed you his beer so that he could pull himself out of the hot tub. The swim trunks he was wearing quite literally left little to the imagination, and you swore that you caught a glimpse of his infamous package when he bent down and grabbed his towel to quickly dry off.

His hand gently brushed yours as he reached for his beer. “I’ll deal with her. Not gonna let it spoil my night.” He gruffed out and draped the towel around his shoulders. “Be back in a jiffy, bug.” He winked and headed towards the sliding doors leading to the kitchen.

When he didn’t return to the backyard in over 20 minutes, that’s when you made the executive decision to see if he was okay. When you neared the front door, you could hear the distinct tone of Dieter’s voice through the thin glass and you caught a glimpse of him throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“You can’t just fucking show up here uninvited! You’re not only trespassing, but you’re crossing a boundary! This is exactly why we broke up in the first place because you’re just so fucking clingy!” He yelled.

“Oh, I’M THE CLINGY ONE?!” She laughed, jabbing her perfectly manicured finger directly into his bare chest. “So, it has nothing to do with the fact that you spent more time with your best friend than with your girlfriend?! Don’t you think thats a bit fucking weird, Dieter?!”

“Oh, for fucks sakes! Here we go again! Don’t you dare go bring her into this when she’s done nothing wrong! So sorry that you felt like the attention I was giving you was inadequate! Guess that gave you just the right amount of ammo to cheat on me with MY fucking pilates instructor?! Dude, I can’t even look the guy in the face anymore without wanting to rip his dick off, balls and all!”

“YES, because you left me with no other choice, Dieter! He gave me more attention than you ever have!”

“Right, sure! So instead of oh—I don’t know, acting like a fucking normal person, you let your jealousy take front and center and cheat on me?! Why the fuck couldn’t you just be like hey, Dieter! I’m feeling under-appreciated in our relationship and I’d like to talk about it in a healthy, productive way because I love and respect you as a person! I would have never fucking cheated on you, don’t you get that?!”

“Okay—you’re right! I’m sorry that I wasn’t mature, and I’m sorry I cheated on you, Dieter. I’m so sorry! Can we please just—”

He laughed, throwing his head back with his hands carding through his damp curls in disbelief. “You have got to be shitting me! You just expect me to what—take you back after all of that?! Fuck you. I may be a stupid fucking actor, but I’m not that stupid. Please, can you just—leave? I don’t want to call the cops, but I will if I have to.”

“Dieter, come on! Baby, please. Let’s just talk—”

“I’m not your baby.” He muttered and turned on his heel and walked back towards the front door. He really just wanted to bury his face in his hands and scream, but he was determined to not let her ruin his night. So, when he opened the door, and found you on the other side, he let out a visible sigh of relief. “Well, that was a crapshoot. Did ya hear any of it, bug?” He closed the door softly and made sure to lock it for good measure.

“You okay, Dee? I heard the last bit of it…I’m sorry that you had to deal with that.”

“S’okay. It’s done now and I’m gonna try and not let it ruin the rest of the night. Thank you for checking in on me, bug. I appreciate it.”

“Of course, Dee. Everyone is still in the backyard. Wanna join them? Otherwise I was thinking maybe you and I can get high?”

He grinned at your suggestion, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorjamb, “say less.”

That’s how you found yourself in Dieter’s bedroom, sitting on the floor with his rolling tray in your lap while he was changing out of his too-tight swim trunks and into a pair of boxers that were…equally as tight. You loved the way that his little bit of tummy pudge hung over the side of the boxer's waistband. What you wouldn’t give to worship that tummy while he shoves his—You kept your eyes focused on plucking a few bud clusters and placing them in the grinder. His phone was charging next to yours on the nightstand. You had Spotify open on shuffle playing yours and Dieter’s favorite playlist. The song that was currently playing was After Midnight by Chappell Roan.

He plopped down beside you, gently grabbing the tray and placed it in his lap so that he could roll the actual joint. He used the front of his bed as a backrest as he opened up the grinder and carefully distributed the ground up herb into one of the papers.

“I seriously don’t know how your dick can breathe in those tight fucking shorts, Dee.” you said with a playful edge to your tone as you let your head rest in the crook of his neck. He leaned into you too, naturally.

“They are not that tight!” He scoffed and looked over at you with a playful grin on his lips. “My dick can breathe in these perfectly fine, bug.” he retorted.

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say.”

Comfortable silence washed over the two of you while he finished rolling up the joint, looking over at you expectantly as he sparked the end of it, inhaling with his cheeks slightly hollowed, “should we have a full slumber party moment and paint our nails and do each other's makeup?” He asked softly, blowing the smoke upwards towards the ceiling and held the joint out to you between his pointer and middle finger.

“Shut up. I can’t believe you just brought that up because I was thinking the same exact thing!” You looked over at him In disbelief, reaching for the joint as your fingers briefly brushed against one another during the exchange. “I must have manifested this or something because I made sure to bring my nail polish this time!”

“Just start calling me Dieter the all knowing!” He chuckled, feeling the inhaled drug slowly send him into a relaxed state. He let his head comfortably rest against the back of the bed. “and I have my makeup that we can use! Think you can show me how to perfect the winged liner look? I’m shit at doing it on myself.” He huffed.

“I am not gonna start calling you Dieter that all knowing! There’s no way in hell I’m going to grant you all that power!” You nudged his shoulder gently with your own before you took a long drag from the joint, holding the smoke in your lungs before slowly exhaling it. “Of course I can help you with your eyeliner, Dee! Only if you let me pick out your nail color this time.”

“Okay, deal!” He was quick to respond with zero hesitation in his chipper tone.

So, after you each took a few more drags from the joint and your minds began to go hazy, Dieter lazily got up and walked into the en-suite to grab his bag of makeup from the bathroom cabinet. When he returned, you had grabbed your overnight bag and already had all of your nail products laid out.

“Damn, did ya bring your entire collection from home with ya?” He teased as he plopped down next to you. His movements were uncoordinated due to the drug coursing through his veins. He nearly fell into your lap, giggling and quietly apologizing as he sat back up. This was a normal occurrence for you and Dieter. Whenever the two of you would get high together, (which was frequent), you both became naturally affectionate and extremely touchy with one another. It was second nature, and something that neither you or Dieter ever thought about as being ‘weird’ and not the norm for most platonic friendships.

“Go big or go home, right Dee?” You had already picked out a pretty sparkly blue polish for his nails and set it off to the side.

“Absolutely, bug. Hey, can you do my makeup first, please?” He had his hands clasped in his lap, nervously twiddling his thumbs as if he was a child waiting to be reprimanded by his parents.

“Of course I can.” You said softly, and grabbed the makeup bag from his lap. “Hey, are you okay?…”

He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily and shook his head. “No, not really. I’m fucking pissed off about what happened down there with my ex.”

You nodded in understanding and stood up to grab one of his many pillows so that he would have something comfortable to lay against while you would do his makeup. “I gathered that.”

“That’s because you’re always reading the room, bug.” He chuckled, grabbing the pillow from you so that he could place it under his back. Once he was situated, he patted his thighs, beckoning you to come sit in his lap. (Doesn’t everyone straddle their best friend and do their makeup?)

“Am I?” You mused and wasted no time to straddle his hips, making yourself comfortable above him. He was looking up at you with that sparkle in his irises that only appeared around you. It was as if you were the reason why the sun shined, and the stars twinkled in the sky. You were too busy going through his bag of makeup to catch the look, and when your eyes did land upon his face, he looked like he was going through constricting emotions.

“Yeah, you’re really good at doing that, y’know?” He sighed, feeling his shoulders deflate and sink against the pillow.

“Do you want to talk about what happened, Dee?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, letting his hands gently rest around your hips, thumbs stroking the sliver of skin visible under your shorts in a soothing figure eight motion. “I mean, who the fuck just shows up to someone’s slumber party uninvited?”

“Well, she’s never really respected your boundaries, has she? Remember when you forgot to leave your phone in your dressing room at the Oscars, and when you were reading out the nominees and she called you, despite knowing that you were at the Oscars?” You grabbed his little bottle of toner and a couple cotton rounds, softly telling him to close his eyes.

He closed his eyes, flinching slightly when the cool mist of the toner kissed his skin. He relaxed further into the pillows when you gently patted the toner into his skin with the cotton round. “Yeah, that was a fucking disaster! I just remember going all red in the face and fearing that my career with the rest of the Hollywood assholes was over at that point.”

“I’m pretty sure she made that move out of spite, Dee. Y’know, because you didn’t ask her to be your plus one?”

He peeked one eye open to look up at you, “that’s because you’ve attended every single red carpet event with me, bug. It’s…tradition.” (Yeah, sure it is, Dieter. Just tradition.)

“I’m not justifying her behavior by any means, but I can understand why she was upset that you invited your best friend over your girlfriend to the Oscars.” You set the bottle of toner down and grabbed his usual moisturizer and squirted a few pumps onto your fingers and rubbed it into his skin.

“Yeah, I guess when you put it that way it does sound pretty fucked up huh? But I don’t think I deserved to be cheated on.” His lips curved into a downwards pout, brows furrowed intently.

“Oh, of course not, hun. Cheating is never justifiable.” You reassured him, reaching into the makeup bag and pulled out his primer, foundation and concealer. “Do you wanna do a full look or something on the more no makeup/makeup side?”

“So then why did she try to justify her reason for cheating on me? Not only that, she tried to sweet talk her way back in towards the end of the conversation. Oh, Dieter, I’m so sorry!” He scoffed, “she even pulled the baby card on me! I know I’m not the most emotionally intelligent individual 99% of the time, and I’ve struggled my whole life taking much of anything serious, but I still have a fucking heart despite what the tabloids gossip about.” He paused mid-venting, remembering what you had asked him, “surprise me, bug.”

“She pulled the baby card on you? What a fucking cunt move, honestly.” you shook your head. “Dieter, you have one of the biggest hearts in all of Hollywood, hun. You just don’t share it with everyone and that’s okay. Those tabloids are a load of crap. I told you before that you have to stop feeding into their agenda. It’s not worth it, Dieter.”

“Exactly! It was a cunt move. And if I didn’t realize my worth sooner, I probably would have fallen right back into a relationship with her again! You know what I’m starting to believe? Maybe…I just have to accept the fact that no one is ever gonna love me.”

You let out a sigh, reaching back into the makeup bag and pulled out one of his glitter shadows to apply on his eyelids. He let out a content hum when your fingers began to gently card through his damp curls while your other fingers began to gently pat the shimmery shadow onto his closed eyelids. “Dieter, don’t you fucking start that shit and claiming that no one is ever going to love you.”

“Well, it’s true! I can’t fucking hold a healthy relationship down to save my life! I’m the laughing stock of Hollywood, days away from fucking relapsing, and no one is gonna give a shit!”

“Dude, what are you talking about?” You fought the urge to laugh, not at him, of course, but at the situation at hand. “I love you, idiot. You are not the laughing stock of Hollywood, and you will not fucking relapse under my watch, Dieter.”

“Bug, I know you love me, and I love you too! But…that’s different. What I’m talking about is real, true love—ow!” He whimpered when you had accidentally poked his eye with your nail.

You weren’t even paying attention when he started rambling about true love and that the way he loved you was completely different…it stung and sent your heart straight through a shredder, and he had no idea!

“Shit, Dee! I’m so sorry—are you okay? My finger slipped.” Your palm came to rest around his scruffy jawline, leaning in close to make sure that you hadn’t accidentally poked his eye out with your fingernail. Your warm breath gently fanned his face as he blinked a few times to surpass the dull sting he felt on his cornea.

“I’m okay, bug. But damn, girl! Are you trying to poke my eye out or something?” He joked, trying to relieve the palpable tension growing between the two of you.

You were quick to change the subject, feeling slightly embarrassed that you allowed his words to affect you that much. You reached for the joint that was resting along the rolling tray and picked it up between your two fingers along with the lighter. “I’m going to take a couple more hits…you want any?” You asked while sparking the joint up, taking a deeper inhale this time to try and soothe your already scrambled brain.

He nodded, reaching his hand up to pluck the joint from between your lips after you were finished and placed it between his own and took a similarly deep drag. He looked so fucking pretty, laying there, joint hanging low between his lips, shimmering eyeshadow making his rich brown eyes stand out even more.

“Y’know…” he started, “if ya take a picture, it’ll last longer!” He mused, taking another long drag, blowing the smoke off to the side. When you didn’t immediately laugh at his weak attempt to ease the tension further, he frowned. “Hey, you okay? You’re never this quiet, bug. Even when you’re high.”

“I’m fine, Dieter.” You sighed, and went to slide off his lap, forgetting about doing his eyeliner when his hand resting around your hip tightened and you freezed under his touch.

“Hey, please don’t lie to me. Did I say something to upset you? I’m sorry if I did.” He was always so genuine in his apologies to you. He could claim to not know how to read the room, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Dee, I’m fine.” You reassured him. “I was just having a moment.”

“Well…stop that! It’s not allowed when we’re having a sleepover.” He really just couldn’t stand to see you upset. It tore him up inside and made him feel like he was always the root cause for your mood change.

“Fuck you.” You laughed, giving his cheek a light pat while your other hand ruffled through his hair. “Do you still want me to do your eyeliner?”

“Yes please.” He grinned. “Just promise to not poke my eye out again?”

“I promise, Dee.”

While you carefully began to apply the eyeliner to his eyelids with careful precision, he continued to ramble on underneath you, careful to not move too much because he really didn’t want to accidentally get poked in the eye. Once you were finished, you expected him to immediately want to check how he looked in the mirror, but instead, he switched positions with you, straddling your hips now so that he could do your makeup.

You didn’t protest, of course. You’d take any excuse to admire his handsome features up close while he was zoned in on his work, his muse being you. Whenever he was painting, his focus was intense and it was as if he had tuned out everything else around him. He acted all the same while he was gently applying a shimmer shadow to your eyelids.

The intimacy simmering between the two of you was becoming too much for you to handle. You could feel him through his too-tight boxers, the weight of his cock pressing right against your clothed center. Despite knowing Dieter for as long as you have, you never had seen his cock, only just the outline of it. However, you heard the stories from his past partners, flings, and even some colleagues. They were all shocked to hear that you yourself had not seen Dieter Bravo’s package.

The walls in his spacious bedroom felt like they were closing in on you from how flustered you were feeling. Surely there was sweat beginning to bead and perspire along the column of your throat and behind your neck. Perhaps there was even an evident sign of your arousal between your thighs. You hoped to god that he hadn’t caught on. But when his hips shifted forward, his tongue poking out between his lips while he carefully applied a swipe of eyeliner across your right eyelid, it was too much.

“Hey—Dee? I’m not feeling too hot. Think the weed is messing with me. I—I think I’m gonna shower and go to bed.” You stuttered out, trying to focus on the words coming out of your mouth and not the images of his thick cock—

He frowned, looking deflated when you said that you wanted to go to bed. “Oh—okay, bug. I understand. Do you wanna watch a movie or something? I’ll get you some food and water, okay? Maybe you’re just having a bad trip?” He was genuinely concerned, feeling slightly nervous that his trusted dealer had laced his stash with something, but he didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole just yet.

“No—I just…I want to shower and go to bed, Dieter. I’ll be fine. It probably is just a bad trip.” You reassured him and subtly tried to create any form of distance between the two of you to relieve the tension you were feeling.

The weed is only enhancing what I’m feeling right now. If he could see the thoughts going through my head right now—

“If you are having a bad trip, then I should stay with you, bug. I don’t want anything to happen to you—”

“Dieter.” You were on the edge of snapping and saying something you would inevitably regret, “I don’t want you to stay with me, okay? I just want to fucking shower and go to bed.”

Ouch.

He visibly recoiled, feeling like you had just stabbed him right in the gut and twisted the knife for good measure. Maybe I am the clingy one…

“Okay, okay. I understand. I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.” He wanted to snap right back at you, but he didn’t have the heart in him to do so.

“Thank you.” You breathed out, and when he didn’t immediately uncage your thighs from under his hips, you took matters into your own hands and placed your palm flat against his chest, gently pushing him off of you so you could quickly stand up.

He felt his heart twist even further when you disappeared into the en-suite, slamming the door behind you. He wasn’t sure if it was done maliciously or on accident, it still fucking hurt.

Seconds later he hears the sink turn on and the sound of water splashing against your face. It felt wrong to leave you in this state, so even after he heard the shower turn on while he was cleaning up the strewn about makeup on the floor, he sat down against the door, his back leaning against it as he waited. For what? He really didn’t know the answer to that.

You knew that Dieter was concerned about your well being, and if he could have it his own way, he would be in the bathroom with you right now, sitting with his back facing you so that you would feel comfortable to shower. You also were aware that he was sitting against the bathroom door and your heart lurched at the thought. You felt the guilt swim and swirl around you. Snapping at your best friend was not on your bingo card for the night, but maybe this was a sign that you and Dieter needed to set some serious boundaries between one another. Maybe you were beginning to realize that the two of you were…too close.

“Can you just…let me know you’re okay in there?” You heard him ask through the door as the scalding hot water streamed down over your bare body.

“Dieter, I’m fine.” Your voice was muffled under the stream.

“Yeah, sure you are, but I’d be a terrible fucking friend if I just left you to deal with this bad trip on your own, bug.”

God dammit, Dieter. Why can’t you just be an asshole like a normal person?! Is what you really wanted to say.

“Okay…” you trailed off, “I’m going to be in here for a while.”

“That’s okay. You can use up all of my hot water. I don’t care.” He reassured you.

When you didn’t immediately respond he let out a sigh, resting his head back against the door, closing his eyes. He remembered that your phone was still playing music from where it sat on his nightstand next to his own, and the familiar tune of Pink Pony Club started playing. It was yours and Dieter’s favorite song off of Chappell’s album.

“I know you wanted me to stay, but I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA. And I heard that there's a special place, where boys and girls can all be queens every single day.”

Dieter Bravo could not fucking sing, but everytime that he did for you, it was the most endearing gesture ever.

“You fucking asshole.” You muttered under your breath, “I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee. Oh, Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me. Won't make my mama proud, It's gonna cause a scene. She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream…”

“God, what have you done! You're a pink pony girl, and you dance at the club! Oh mama, I'm just having fun! On the stage in my heels, it’s where I belong down at the Pink Pony Club!” You and Dieter sung the chorus in unison, completely out of tune, but neither of you could give a fuck about that.

You could practically picture his dopey, weed-stained grin plastered on his handsome, scruffy face behind the door when you sang the chorus together. The mental image sent your heart surging out of your chest, and your pussy pulsing in tandem.

Fuck me.

You truly had just planned to take a hot, relaxing, mind clearing shower and then go straight to bed, but you were feeling bothered by the weed, and your blatantly obvious attraction towards your best friend. Not to mention, the little rasp in Dieter’s voice was not helping you out in this predicament, either. That’s when you noticed his attached shower head and the lightbulb went off in your weed-induced brain.

You reached for the attached shower head, gently removing it from where it was mounted against the shower wall. Before turning it on, however, you quickly got familiar with the numerous spray settings and chose the medium spray before slowly dragging the shower head between your legs and—oh, fucck.

The pressure was just right and was directly spraying a stream of water onto your exposed clit. You held back a moan, bringing the back of your hand to your mouth and bit down as you slowly sank to your ass along the shower wall, your thighs spread fully, eyes rolling back into your skull from the intense feeling. That’s when a moan slipped past and Dieter initially thought he was just hearing things, but then he heard it again…and his cock twitched to life beneath the tight confinements.

“There’s no way. I’m just high as shit right now and hearing things. Yeah, that’s the logical explanation!” He muttered to himself, scrubbing one hand down his face. But then he heard you distinctively moan, and his face suddenly felt hot to the touch. He pressed his ear against the door, raising his fist and gently knocked on the wood, “you uh—you okay in there?”

You were so close to hitting that big ‘o’ that you didn’t even hear Dieter’s low rasp through the door.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” You whimpered. “So fucking close, just a little more. Just a little more. C’mon, baby.”

Now that he could hear you more clearly, he knew exactly what was producing those little desperate sounds to slip past your pretty lips: his fucking shower head.

“Excuse me?? Are you getting yourself off with MY shower head, without me in there?!” It was a thought that he had meant to keep in his head, but now that it was out there, there was truly no going back.

You froze like a deer caught in headlights, immediately dropping the shower head from your loose grasp and it clattered to the shower floor just as the bathroom door burst open.

“Dieter—WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” You screeched, hair drenched, thighs spread and trembling.

He shut the door behind him, muttering under his breath as he approached, looking you right in the eyes, “more importantly, what are you doing?” He placed his hands on his hips. “Your little moans and whimpers made me rock fucking hard!” He gestured to the obvious tent in his boxers, his cock straining against the tight material. “Had I known it was gonna be that kind of sleepover, I would have joined you a heck of a lot sooner!”

Oh. My. God. This isn’t happening, is it?!

“Dieter, you can’t just fucking come in here when I’m masturbating! Dude—what the fuck!”

“Oh, heavens! Are we going back to the 1800’s or something? Just call it for what it is! You playing with your pussy, and using my shower head to get yourself off! By all means, please continue, but next time? I want a personal invite!”

You were appalled…and a little turned on? Okay, a lot turned on! In fact, your pussy was pulsing between your thighs, the edge of your interrupted orgasm was still simmering, waiting to fully bloom. To make matters worse, Dieter had crouched down outside of the shower, his brows furrowed when he noticed the setting you had set the shower head to. He tsked under his breath, shaking his head as he reached into the shower and picked up the shower head from where it had been dropped between your spread thighs.

“Dieter, what are you—”

“Hush and listen to the teacher, okay? For starters, you’re using it all wrong. You gotta build yourself up first, and then go full blast. Otherwise you’re just gonna overstimulate your poor little clit, and that just takes away from the experience.” He said in the most casual fashion, as if this wasn’t crossing a million different invisible boundaries all at once.

“Dieter, I don’t need your assistance on getting myself off, okay? Please just—”

“Bug, don’t make this weird, okay? We’re friends, and there’s nothing in the friends handbook that says that we can’t help one another get off! It’s totally not forbidden.” He retorted.

“I think you just made the whole friends handbook thing up. It totally doesn’t exist and we absolutely should not be doing this, Dieter! It’s wrong for a multitude of reasons!”

“The friends handbook totally exists! I’ll get you a copy, okay? I’m not going to touch you, unless you want me to. I’m just gonna use the shower head to show you the right way to get yourself off with it, and afterwards you will be thanking me!”

“I can’t believe I’m about to agree to this. I cannot fucking—”

“Best start believing it, baby! Now, spread your thighs for me a little more, okay?”

“Okay, I’m giving you my full consent, but if I start feeling weird, we’re stopping this whole thing, okay?” You looked him directly in the eyes as you spread your thighs further so he had a better view.

“Bug, if at any point you feel weird, uncomfortable, or want to stop, just tell me, okay? I’m not gonna pressure you to continue doing this if you don’t want to. I’m leaving the ball completely in your court, and my feelings won’t be hurt if you change your mind, okay? I promise.” His words were sincere, and it was hard to look away when he was staring at you with those big, brown, puppy dog eyes.

“Okay.” You nodded.

He leaned forward then, briefly getting caught under the stream when his lips brushed across your forehead, leaving you both feeling slightly stunned. He softly asked you if it was okay if he did touch you, to which you obliged, lower lip taken between your teeth when his hand that wasn’t holding the shower head slowly dipped between your thighs and his fingers spread your slick folds apart so he would have better access to your clit.

“I always knew that your pussy would be pretty, baby, but goddamn—she really is so fucking pretty.” He took a sharp inhale of breath, his cock twitching painfully in his boxers.

“Dieter Bravo, you’re going to be the death of me.” You breathed out, heat rising to your cheeks from the way he was gazing at the spot between your thighs, eyes glazed over the same way a dog looks at a delicious bone, or a plate of juicy, rare, steak.

“You’re already the death of me, bug.” He whispered, unable to help himself when his thumb gently brushed across your clit. He swallowed hard, trying to focus on the task at hand but between you prettily spread out beneath him, and the weed still flowing through his system, he was fucked.

He changed the setting on the shower head without even having to look down at it. He was too focused on your face, particularly your eyes and how you both seemed to be drinking one another in, an invisible string tied between the two of you, reeling him in closer, and closer. You observe his face, and the way his eyeliner has now started to run and bleed under his eyes and down his cheeks from the water and steam. Your pussy clenches from the sight just as his thumb lightly presses against your clit, making slow, languid, figure eight motions.

He thinks he wants to kiss you—no, scratch that. He wants to kiss you, and you can tell by the way his eyes flicker from your face and down to your lips, and then back up again.

“Dieter…” you whisper, bringing your hand up to gently cradle his face in your palm, curling your pointer finger under his chin. “Do you want to kiss me?” Your warm breath fans his face as he slowly nods.

“Yeah, I do.” He rasped, slowly leaning in.

“So kiss me, you fool.”

And so he did, but instead of hesitating, and holding back, he dove right in, noses pressing into one another as he licked greedily into your mouth, tangling his tongue with yours while his hand holding the shower head angled it right against your exposed pussy and between his fingers where he was keeping you spread open.

“Oh fuck!” You whimpered into the kiss, keeping your one hand anchored around his jaw while the other came to rest at the back of his head, your fingers tangled through his drenched locks, tugging on them gently.

“Yeah, feels good, doesn’t it, baby? Told ya so.” He snickered into your lips, kissing you deeper. “Lower water pressure builds you up slower, drawing your orgasm out to last longer, and it’ll feel 10x more intense.”

“Mhm.” You mumbled into his lips, scooting your hips closer to the stream of water, and to him.

“Greedy little pussy, huh? Can’t get enough, can ya?” He teased.

“Dieter…” you warned him, playfully biting down on his lower lip and tugging it out gently before releasing it.

“I know, I know.” He chuckled and reluctantly detached himself from the kiss, pecking your lips once before he sat back on his thighs to give himself any form of relief. “You wanna give yourself a whirl while I go take care of this er—in privacy?”

Your cheeks were puffed out, lips swollen with his kisses as you stared up at him dumbfounded. “Are you insane? Just get in here with me, Dieter. Right now.”

He blushed, turning bright red all the way to the tips of his ears. He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly turning all bashful as if he wasn’t just talking about your greedy little pussy seconds ago. “Are you…sure? I really don’t mind! I can just go jerk off in my bed like a normal person—”

“Dieter.” Your tone sounded strained, “get in the fucking shower now. Take those ridiculously tight boxers off and get in here.”

Well, you certainly didn’t need to ask Dieter Bravo twice as he scrambled to peel his boxers down over his hips and thighs, tossing the damp fabric outside of the shower. His cock bobbed between his thighs, hard, heavy and the tip was swollen a painful red color. Poor guy.

He climbed over you, situating himself and his cute little tush right next to you with his shoulders gently brushing yours. He spit a glob of saliva into his palm and wrapped his fist around the veiny girth of his cock. “I’ll come fast, I promise. You won’t even have to do anything, okay? Just pretend I’m not here!” His tone was rushed as he squeezed the base of his cock, lolling his head to the side so he could look over at you. His eyeliner was completely smudged now and his lips were swollen with your kisses.

All you could do was nod dumbly, your eyes transfixed by his fist wrapped around his cock. It was as if you were seeing a unicorn for the first time! The unicorn being er—Dieter’s cock.

He looked at your face, and then down at his cock, and then back up at your face. “Hello?” He waved with his freehand, “why are you looking at my cock like that, huh? Are you the only person in the whole state of California who hasn’t seen my cock before?” He was in disbelief, his mouth falling open when he realized that you never had seen his cock.

"I totally thought you'd seen his dick. Practically everyone else has." You remember his ex cruelly teasing you about it one day.

You shook your head, eyes glazed over as you watched his fist slowly twist and pump around his length. “Nope. First time, and it’s like I’m looking at a unicorn!” You exclaimed playfully.

Dieter snorted at your enthusiasm, feeling his heart lurch from his chest, “well, it is sorta like seeing a unicorn for the first time…I suppose?” He chuckled, squeezing the base of his cock for some form of relief. He felt like now was the best time to address the obvious elephant in the room, silly Dieter. “So uh—well, this doesn’t mean anything, right? Because we’re just friends and good friends masturbate together. It's cool, this is super casual!”

Sure, bud. You keep telling yourself that.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes and clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, spreading your thighs further so you could continue your ministrations with the shower head. “Sure, Dieter. This means absolutely nothing. Just two besties jerking it off, side by side. Totally casual!”

He let out a huff as he pumped his fist faster, “Well, we wouldn’t be in this predicament if those noises you were making didn’t make my cock as hard as a slab of concrete!”

“Dieter, shut up, and get yourself off! Or so help me—”

“Yes ma'am!” He squeaked out.

In tandem you placed the shower head close to your clit once more while he fisted his cock, and when your moans started to intermingle and become one, that’s when your glazed over eyes met once more. He had his lip harshly taken between his teeth, his cock was twisting and pulsing beneath his fist. He leaned in close, lips just barely brushing your bare shoulder where he had dipped his head down to nuzzle you. His eyes flickered upwards towards your face, pupils darkening by the second, “I really want to fuck you right now, baby.” He rasped.

You met his gaze, thighs trembling and your eyes rolling slightly as your orgasm rippled through you, “yeah, you wanna fuck me, Dieter? How badly do you want to fuck me?”

“So fucking bad, baby. You’ve got no idea.” He mewled, “there’s that convenient bench right over there.” He gestured to the shower bench with a coy tilt of his chin, “you can sit right on my cock, if you’d like that…”

“Did you have that bench installed for convenience purposes or for your old man bad back?” You asked teasingly.

He narrowed his eyes at you, glaring playfully before he chuckled, “a bit of both. More-so on the convenience side of things. And, it’s newly installed so you and I would be the first to use it.” He winked coyly.

“Really? Well, your offer is most tempting, Bravo. I’d like to take you up on it and sit on your big fucking cock.”

“Now we’re talking.” He grinned, loosening his fist around his cock so he could offer you a hand and helped you up. Now you were both directly under the stream of water, hands roaming everywhere they could reach. You kissed deeply, giggling in unison when you grabbed his ass and he grabbed yours. He could happily live in this moment forever with you, even if it meant that his skin would inevitably prune and probably fall off.

You backed him up against the shower bench, climbing into his lap as he slowly lowered himself into a sitting position along the marble bench that could easily fit both of you.

You wrapped your own palm around the base of his cock for the first time as you slowly sank down around his girth till he was fully pressed inside of you, bottoming out with a low grunt against your lips. He let his arms loop firmly around your waist, pulling you in as close as he physically could so that your chests were pressed flushed together. He swore he saw heaven behind fluttered lashes when you started to slowly roll your hips into his, bouncing and grinding along his length.

If it wasn’t for his steadfast orgasm, he probably would have lasted longer before he was shooting thick ropes of his cum deep inside of you, but he was a man, after all. And while his cum leaked and dripped from your weeping little hole that was still stuffed full of his cock, he made sure that you got to come again, too. He pistoned his hips upwards at an unruly pace, loving the way that your nails clawed at his back and shoulders, leaving little red crescents in their wake. Maybe I’ll get those tattooed on me later. He briefly thought as you came undone around him, crying out his name.

You stayed seated on his cock for what felt like hours before he gently eased you off him, his cock now soft between his thighs and glistening in a thick, pearlescent ring of your combined releases.

You washed one another’s bodies under the lukewarm stream and he was the first to step out of the shower, grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist and when you emerged, he had a towel waiting for you. You kissed a few more times, gentle pecks of intimacy as you stood side by side in front of the mirror, brushing your teeth and doing your skincare.

“Soo, where are you sleeping tonight?” He suddenly asked with a mouthful of toothpaste. His deep pools of brown boring into yours.

You hadn’t really thought that far if you were being honest…and now with that fresh ‘I just got fucked good’ glow illuminating your features, and the remainder of your high still sizzling, you suddenly feeling nervous all over again.

“Um, well, where do you want me to sleep?”

“I asked you first.” He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for your response.

“Okay, fair, how about on the count of three we say it together?”

“Deal.” He nods.

“Okay—one, two, three—” you counted off in unison.

“Your bed—my bed.”

You both looked relieved at your answers, letting out breaths you didn’t realize you were holding. “Thank fucking god.” You both laughed.

He kissed you then, mouthful of toothpaste and all. You made a funny squeaking sound when he had unexpectedly kissed you, and the corners of his mouth curved up into a knowing grin. “I’ll get you one of my shirts to wear.” He mumbled into the kiss, pulling back slowly.

When you left the en-suite, you found Dieter already in bed, sitting up with the rolling tray resting in his lap. He had a fresh pair of boxers on, this pair was made of cotton and was far less constricting. He was rolling another joint to smoke before bed when he looked up, smiling softly at your lingering presence in the doorway, wearing nothing but his shirt.

“Well, don’t be shy, bug. Ain’t the first time you’ve slept in my bed.” He winked, patting the empty spot beside him on his massive king sized bed.

You took a deep breath, remembering that this was Dieter Bravo, your best friend and partner in crime. He would always be your best friend.

You made your way over to the empty side of the bed and pulled the covers back so you could climb underneath them.

He finished rolling the joint, grabbing his lighter from the nightstand to spark it up before he paused, looking over his shoulder at you. “Hey, we don’t have to like—do anything, okay?” He reassured you.

“But Dieter, I wanna do stuff with you. It’s just—in your bed it feels…” you trailed off, scratching at the outside of your arm absentmindedly.

He tucked the joint behind his ear and rolled over into his side so he was facing you, using his elbow to prop himself up, “I understand, baby. This is…new for me as well. We can smoke this joint and then make out a little? See where it goes?…”

You nodded, lips curving up into a soft smile that sent his heartbeat racing, “yeah, I’d like that.”

“Me too.” He grinned.

He sparked the joint up between you, taking a few hits before he passed it off to you. This went on a few more times before your bodies just naturally gravitated towards one another, and when the joint died out, he set it down on the tray on his nightstand before his lips found yours.

You kissed like this for hours, simply just enjoying one another’s company and soft touch when the sun began to rise over the Los Angeles landscape. Dieter was uncharacteristically quiet, even for being stoned.

Your fingers were gently dragging through the patches in his beard, playing with his scruff in between kisses. “I can hear you overthinking, Dee.”

“Are you a wizard?” He chuckled, “you can hear my thoughts? That’s crazy!”

“Shh.” You giggled. “I’m right here, baby. You don’t have to yell.”

“Sorry.” He whispered, scooting his body closer to yours. He would absolutely crawl inside of your skin and never leave, but well—-he might go to prison if he did that.

“I’m gonna say something that might sound stupid, but I gotta get it off my chest, okay?” He started, his glazed over eyes met yours as he pressed a few kisses to the underside of your fingertips.

“I’m listening.”

“Okay, so—well, this is just different for me because I don’t normally fuck my friends.”

You gave him a funny look at his admittance, unable to help yourself.

“I’m serious! I don’t fuck my friends—and well, I care about you a ton.Maybe even more than I care about myself? Anyway, I don’t want things to get weird between us tomorrow. Like if you wake up and regret everything that happened, I just want you to tell me, okay? My hopes is that maybe you felt the little spark that I did and if you did we can—”

“Dieter, I promise you I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and regret everything that happened tonight. No matter where this takes us, I’m always going to love you, and you’re always going to be my best friend.” Your words were sincere and directly from your heart and he knew you weren’t just saying shit just to say it.

“I think I just shat my heart out, that was so sweet.” He giggles, nuzzling his nose against yours. “In all seriousness, thank you. I was just afraid that this would ruin our friendship, and I would lose you forever.”

“Never, Dieter. You could never lose me.” You reassured him.

“Good, cause in the morning? I’m making waffles!”

Helen Mirren: Narrator for the Barbie Movie:

Dieter did not in fact make waffles the next morning. Instead, Dieter had his breakfast between your thighs, and then let you order whatever brunch you wanted on his black card

"You can be my sugar baby! I get to eat you out and you can order whatever you want on my card." He murmured between your thighs, mouthful of your pussy.

"That's not how that sort of thing really works, Dieter. But, yeah, okay."

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mostlymarvelsstuff · 7 hours

Text

Moi Devochki: Chapter 2

Warnings: very minor angst bit, smut(grinding, groping, vaginal penetration), a/b/o content (marking, claiming, knotting)

Word count: 3606

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Moi Devochki Masterlist

“Don’t you know how to knock?” the redhead questions, “Wait, why are you smiling like that?”

“I went to talk to Wanda and Y/n like you wanted.” she says

Nat furrows her brows, “And? Is the Alpha that's leaving scratches, bruises and hickeys on them a team member?”

Yelena chuckles, “It’s not an Alpha.”

“It’s a Beta?” Nat asks, surprised a Beta would be that expressive with their affections

“Each other actually” her younger sister tells her

Natashas eyes widened. It’s not that she didn’t approve of two Omegas being together, that wasn’t the case at all, as far as she was concerned people deserved to be with who they loved no matter their bearing. She just didn’t expect this, her jealousy for the non existent Alpha definitely clouded her spy senses in this instance because even though she, and she alone noticed the marks you both tried to cover due to her eyes constantly being on both of you, she couldn't figure out you were doing it to the other.

She just couldn’t see it, far too busy watching any other Alpha that came near you both with an angry glare and a longing for her to be the one touching you both. She realized if she didn’t make a move she had no right to be protective or jealous, but the truth was that the Alpha has wanted you both almost as long as she's known you. But she didn’t want to make a move while Wanda was grieving, and how does one make a move on two Omegas anyway. Then she noticed the bruises and bites beginning to show. She thought she was too late, that she waited too long.

“You're not messing with me? There's really not an Alpha?” the Alpha questions, afraid to get her hopes up that she still has a chance

The other Alpha shakes her head, “I wouldn't joke around or lie to you about something that involves your heart sestra(sister).”

Nat smiles then, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes and Yelena finds herself smiling as well. She hasn’t seen her sister smile like that since you and Wanda joined the team, and before that the last time was when they were pups on that mission in Ohio.

“Then I have to tell them. I can’t waste anymore time, even if I’m not the Alpha they want, I need them to know my feelings.” she says

“Well uh, just hang on. Because I didn’t actually talk to them. I just caught them, and I kind of told them that I wouldn’t tell anyone about what I saw, so…”

“And what exactly did you see?” Natasha asks, jealousy in her tone

Yelena chuckles, “Relax, it’s not like I meant to. I just went to talk to them and well, as soon as Y/n opened the door the scent was… well, it was very apparent they had just finished mating.”

Nat was torn between being concerned for the two of you getting caught by Steve, Bruce or Dr. Strange, and longing to know what your scents and noises were like when you were together.

The blonde clears her throat, gaining her sister's attention again, “My point is, how are you going to ask to be with them both if you aren’t supposed to know they're together?”

Her brows furrow, “Does it matter if you told me when you know I want them? It’s not like I’m going to tell the others or punish them. I want to ask them to be mine.”

Yelena thinks over her sisters words for a moment, “True, but I don’t want to seem like a liar. I don’t want them to lose trust in me.”

“I’m sure if I explained the situation they wouldn't be upset about anything.” Nat says, hopeful that her sister will just agree so she can go find the two of you

The younger of the two sighs, “Khorosho, prodolzhay (Fine, go on).”

The redhead practically jumps off her bed, making her way to her bedroom door. She quickly turns to look at her sister, “Wait, do I look ok?”

Yelena groans, “Oh for the love of- they've seen you covered in sweat, dirt, mud, blood, and alien blood and you're worried about how you look?” She blushes slightly but nods her head, Yelena rubs her forehead and looks at her sister. The Alpha is wearing some jeans, a long sleeve olive green shirt and has her long hair done in a braid. “You look perfectly fine Natasha.”

She smiles again before finally opening her door and heading down the hallway towards Wandas room. It takes everything in her not to run there. Once she arrives she takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.

Wanda groans as the two of you cuddle in her nest, “Now what.” she grumbles

You chuckle while sitting up, bringing her with you, “Better see who it is Wan.”

She reluctantly gets up and opens the door, “Oh, hi Natasha.” She tries to not appear nervous at the appearance of the sister of the Alpha that was here mere minutes ago, but the way she spins her rings gives her away.

“Hey Wanda. Mind if I come in to talk?” she asks, eyes not leaving the Omegas.

Wanda tries to think of a way to politely decline, afterall you're still in her nest and the room definitely still has hints of her scent from earlier. The Alpha can see the hesitation on her face and decides to help ease her.

“It’s ok, I know who’s in there and what happened.” she tells the Omega

Wanda, torn between being embarrassed, happy, and worried that the attractive Alpha in front of her knew this about the two of you, blushes and has to clear her throat before replying, “S-sure, come on in.”

You look up to see Wanda open the door for- oh god its Natasha. You quickly fumble to get out of the other Omegas nest, “Relax Y/n, you can stay there if you want.” the redhead says and for a split second you forget how to breathe. Though you aren't sure if that was due to being worried or excited that she seemed to know about you and Wanda.

Wanda, seeing the slight panic on your face, rejoins you in the nest. She holds your hand before addressing the Alpha, “Did Yelena send you to talk with us?” she asks, slightly saddened that the blonde told another Alpha despite promising not to

“No, she didn’t send me here but she did tell me because I actually sent her here earlier.” she admits. You both look at her in confusion as she takes a seat on Wandas desk chair.

“Really, why?” you ask

The Alpha suddenly looks nervous, “Over the last few months I’ve noticed that the two of you have had a lot of bruises, scratches and such. It made me think an Alpha was trying to make you both theirs. I didn’t like that idea, it made me jealous because I only noticed these things due to my inability to take my eyes off either of you. I’m always thinking about you both. What it would be like to hold your hands, to cuddle with you, to scent you, to wake up next to you both in the mornings, to be able to call you mine.” she admits

You give Wanda a smile and she nods her head before looking back at Nat, “Don’t wait any longer then, make us yours Tasha.”

Her eyes sparkle as she smiles at the nickname. She stands and makes her way over to Wandas nest. She gently grabs you both by your chins, lifting your faces to look at hers. She stares at both of you lovingly for a few seconds before her lips crash into Wandas. The kiss starts out soft but quickly gets heated and you're left there to watch, anticipation building to feel the Alphas lips on yours.

Eventually they break apart and Natashas lips meet yours, you quickly let her dominate the kiss by opening your mouth to her and she gladly deepens the kiss.

When she pulls back you can see how dilated her eyes are, and you notice the bulge in her pants. Wanda sees it too and both of you are practically begging for the Alpha. She can see the want in both sets of eyes that look at her, it makes her heart race.

“Please Alpha, we want you.” you finally cave, begging verbally now.

You and the other Omega eagerly begin to undress each other for Natasha, you toss each others shirts across the room in your excitement. The scent of your arousal mixes with Wandas in the air and the Alpha can barely contain herself, but she does. Slowly she settles between you both in the nest, Wanda straddles her lap and a smirk graces your features. Nat looks at you to make sure you're ok with this and you nod, eager to see them together as you help the Alpha learn all of Wandas sensitive spots.

Natashas hands caress Wandas sides as she makes her way to unclasp the Omegas bra. Wanda lets it fall from her chest, Nat gently touches her breasts and when she notices the nipples harden her touch becomes firmer and she gently squeezes. Wanda moans and grinds down on the Alpha who grunts upon feeling the Omegas ass rub against her clothed hard cock.

You lean into the Alpha, your hands slipping under her shirt. Your nails rake across her abbs, her head falls back as she lets out a moan of her own. You and Wanda take advantage of this position and begin to kiss and gently suck on Nats neck. Her breathing quickens and you know she's desperate to have you both.

Your gaze moves to Wanda, “Pants off for our Alpha, printsessa(princess).”

Wanda quickly stands to obey, and the Alpha can feel a warmth in her chest from you calling her ‘our Alpha’. She watches Wanda strip the rest of the way and can feel her cock throb in her pants. Wanda slowly crawls back into the nest and Natashas eyes look over to you. You smile as your hands reach for her jeans, she sighs as you undo them. She lifts her hips and you easily slide her pants and underwear off of her.

You can feel your slick pool between your legs as you take in the sight of the Alphas large cock. You watch as Wanda clenches her thighs together, likely feeling the same as you and Nat smirks as she sees both of your reactions. Wanda gently tugs on the Alphas shirt and she gets the hint, she quickly removes it. You and Wanda each reach a hand behind her back unclasping her bra.

She sits there a moment letting the two of you take in her body before the waiting becomes too much for her, “Come here dorogoy(sweetheart)” she says, gesturing for Wanda.

The Omega listens and straddles the Alphas lap once more, she hovers just above Nats cock. It takes a lot of the Alphas focus to not just thrust up into her, instead she takes two of her fingers and slips them through Wandas slick soaked lips. Wanda whimpers at the feeling and she watches as the Alpha sucks her fingers clean.

“You're ready for me, aren’t you dorogoy(sweetheart)?” she asks

Wanda nods her head, “Yes Tasha”

Natasha grabs the Omegas hips and gently lowers her until she feels herself slip inside. They both moan and Nat finds she can’t hold back anymore. Her arms encircle Wanda and she effortlessly flips them over. Now on top she thrusts herself in and out of Wanda at a faster pace. The Omega moans in pleasure and reaches a hand out for you.

You let her pull you closer, the Alpha watches as your lips pepper kisses and suck marks into Wandas collarbone. Upon seeing how much the Omega likes that spot Nat joins you. Wanda gasps and pants at the attention she's getting from you both, she whimpers and moans as Natashas cock pounds into her. She knows she won’t last much longer. You pull back, letting them have their moment.

She cups the Alphas face, “Knot me, claim me, please.”

Nat groans at hearing this and quickly kisses her tenderly, she quickens her thrusting and as Wandas walls begin to squeeze her she can feel her knot grow. It slams against the Omega a few times before she's able to slip inside. They both moan as the Alpha locks into place, Wanda can feel herself being filled with Natashas cum and she trembles as her orgasm washes over her.

The Alpha bites into one of Wandas scent gland and cleans her mark before pulling away, “Mine” she says

Wanda could cry she's so happy, instead she pulls Nat closer, sinking her teeth into her one scent gland, “My Alpha, my mate” she says before cleaning the mark.

While they're joined for the next few minutes your one hand caresses the Omegas cheek as the other runs up and down the Alphas back. Wanda purrs at the affection and Natasha hums as she enjoys having you both so close.

After her knot deflates Nat is slow to pull out of Wanda, not wanting any of her seed to spill. Wanda whines at the emptiness she now feels, the Alpha kisses her tenderly to offer comfort.

Your whine quickly brings her attention to you however. You sit there with your thighs clenched drenched in your own slick, you enjoyed watching them be together but you desperately want the Alpha to take you and claim you too. Wanda smiles as she watches the way Nat looks at you, it's the same way she looks at you.

Natasha crawls off of Wanda and over to you. She brings a hand up to your face and runs her thumb across your cheek. You lean into her touch, craving more. Her hands move to your bra clasp and she quickly rids you of it, then she tugs at the waistband of your pants.

“Take these off for me medovyy(honey)” she tells you. You purr at the nickname.

You gladly obey, you practically jump from the nest to finish undressing. You can feel Two pairs of eyes on you as you do so and you smile. You quickly rejoin them in the nest. The Alphas hands caress your sides as she guides you to lay down. She gently spreads your legs apart and slots herself between them. She practically moans at the amount of slick you've produced.

“Look how wet you are medovyy(honey). You liked watching me fuck Wanda, didnt you?” she asks with a smirk on her face.

You nod, “Yes Tasha.” you reply, the nickname Wanda used earlier slipping from your lips.

She smiles, lining herself up with your pussy. She slowly pushes into you and you moan at feeling her stretch you. She grabs your hips and begins thrusting in and out of you. Wandas hands cup your breasts and you can’t stop the whimpers and gasps that leave you as Nat continues her thrusts. You can feel a heat rush to your core as they both give you attention.

As Wanda begins to kiss and suck at your neck your legs wrap around the Alpha, bringing her closer and deeper into you. She grunts in response, she loves how well you both take her. She leans down and plants a heated kiss to your lips, you moan into it as her thrusts become faster.

Wanda knows you're close. She pulls away from you, giving you and Natasha your moment just as you had done with her. Your walls start to start to squeeze the Alpha and she moans at the feeling, her knot grows and you can feel it gently push at your entrance.

Her eyes meet yours, silently asking if she can knot you as well, “Please Alpha, I want your knot.” you answer

She smiles as her knot slips into you and locks into place. Your legs tremble as you both cum together, her seed practically pours into you and you moan at how full you feel of your Alpha.

She nuzzles your neck before biting into one of your scent glands, she quickly cleans her mark, “Mine.” she says

You smile before sinking your teeth into her other scent gland, you clean it before pulling away, “My Alpha.”

You stay together for a few minutes just as she and Wanda had, and just like you had the Omega caresses your cheek and Nats back. Eventually the Alpha slowly pulls out from you as well and lays back into the nest.

She looks at you and Wanda, “Come her moi devochki(my girls), come cuddle with your Alpha.”

You each snuggle into her sides, you and Wanda hold each others hands and Natasha runs a hand through Wandas hair, her other running through your hair. You both purr at her affection.

Suddenly the Alpha can feel tears from both her Omegas hitting her skin. She panics briefly, worried that somethings wrong or that she's done something wrong.

“My Omegas, what's wrong?” she asks as she gently guides your faces to look at hers

Wanda shakes her head, “Nothings wrong Alpha, we’re just really happy.”

“We’ve wondered what it would be like to have an Alpha for a while now, but until we met you we never wanted a specific Alpha.” you add

“We were worried you wouldn't accept us loving each other or that you'd only want one of us if you even wanted either of us at all.” Wanda adds

Natasha looks at you both, her hands cup your and Wandas cheeks, “Moi devochki(my girls), I have wanted you both since I first laid eyes on you. I knew I wouldn’t be happy without having you both by my side, I knew you were the Omegas meant for me. You have no idea how happy it makes me now to be able to call you mine.” she admits a few tears of her own escaping

Wanda leans in and kisses your Alpha who eagerly returns the kiss, they break apart and rest their foreheads together.

“I love you Tasha.” the Omega says

Nats smile is huge, “I love you too Wanda”

They pull apart from each other and you take Wandas place on Nats lips.

Your smile matches your Alphas, “I love you Tasha”

“I love you too Y/n.” she says as she pulls you and Wanda back into her sides. “And I know you two love each other too, so I want you to be able to bond. Don’t worry about anyone's reactions to it ok? I promise I’ll make sure no one lays a hand on either of you, and I’ll be damned if anyone could take either of you away from me. I’ll keep you both safe.”

Wanda looks at you excitedly as you look up at your Alpha, “You really mean that? You’d let us mark each other?”

“Of course I would, we’re all each others mates afterall.” she answers

Wanda suges forward capturing you lips with her own, Nat chuckles as she watches you struggle to keep up with the intensity of the kiss.

“I want you now printsessa(princess), please.” you beg as she pulls away from you.

She nods eagerly, “I want you too detka(baby), can’t wait to make you mine.”

You lay back for her, Natasha watches as she crawls over to you. One hand teases a nipple as her other makes its way through your folds, you’ve already produced enough slick that she easily slips two fingers inside you. You moan and grind your hips into her hand.

“Please printsessa(princess), I need more” you say

She complies by slipping a third finger into you, she pumps them in and out of you at a faster pace. Nat brings her hand to Your neck, her thumb brushes against the scent gland she marked and you can barely contain yourself. Your walls tighten around her fingers and she knows you’re close, she brings her thumb to circle your clit and your orgasm quickly washes over you.

she leans down and bites into your unmarked scent gland, the pure happiness you both feel as she marks you is indescribable. She's waited so long and was never sure she’d be able to do it. She pulls away after cleaning her mark and smiles at you, “You're my Omega Y/n, just like you always said I would be.”

You smile before bringing her closer, you bite into her unmarked scent gland. You clean it before letting her go, “And you're my Omega.”

The two of you rest your foreheads together as you both shed more tears of happiness, Your Alpha quietly and fondly watches you both enjoy this moment and she's so happy she was able to let you both have this. You both deserved to be able to bond with the other. The love you shared was so pure and wholesome, it should've been illegal to keep the two of you apart.

The two of you pull apart and find yourselves being scooped into your Alphas hold, she pulls you close to her before she lays back, relaxing once more. You and Wanda settle into her sides again as you both purr. The Alpha enjoys hearing you both, she soaks up the sound as the three of you drift off to sleep.

Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @when-wolves-howl @danveration @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories@imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastorm @zoomdeathknight @aeroae @sashawalker2 @maggieromanov @doveromanoff @mommyluvu @404-almostdone @tarathia @ayoungexwife

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incendiobrock · 3 days

Text

Clout Chaser {Chris Sturniolo}

Request: Could I request a Chris x reader.she has a huge crush on him but he waste his time getting heartbroken by a girl just using him.when he finds out she is just using him for clout it sends him in a spiral.The reader is there to help mend his heart. (Action 7)very much angst some fluff at the end please.

Prompt(s): A telling B they deserve better

Warnings: language, heartbreak, fluffy ending!

A/N: idk how i feel about this one 😔

Chris was never really a relationship person. Sure, he had some brief talking stages throughout high school, and had his share of a couple situationships but never anything serious. He made it pretty clear to everybody that he wasn’t interested in dating and didn’t think he would be interested for a while.

Chris had fully meant that too, that is until he met a girl while he was out shopping one day. Her name was Jax and she quickly became a constant in Chris’ life. After Jax was introduced you started being put on the back burner. You had been friends with the triplets for years and there was no denying that you had a huge crush on Chris.

The crush started out small, a little school girl type crush is how you would describe it but it grew tremendously over the years as you became a young adult. You never had any intention of telling Chris about it, wanting to respect his boundaries and understanding his want to stay single, which is exactly why your heart had shattered when he announced that him and Jax were together.

His new relationship with Jax drove a wedge between your friendship. She didn’t like him being so close to another girl, friend or not. Chris quickly became distant and it was hard to ignore when you would still spend a lot of time at their place, continuing to hang out with Matt and Nick.

As you sat in the living room of the triplets house one morning you scrolled through Netflix trying to find something to watch. The sun gently gleamed through the big windows, early morning setting in. None of the boys were awake yet and you didn’t want to disturb them so you stayed on your bed (the couch). As you clicked through some more shows a prominent knock was heard on the front door. You weren’t expecting anyone this early but maybe the boys got a package delivered. Your feet echoed through the hall as you ran down the stairs to open the door.

“Oh, hey.” You half smiled, looking at Jax as she stood in front of you. Jax looked up from her phone and rolled her eyes at you, “Didn’t realize you were going to be here.”

“Yeah, I slept over last night-“

“I didn’t ask.” She snarked, shoulder checking you as she welcomed herself into the boys home, going straight down the hall into Chris’ room.

You stood frozen in the doorway for a minute before shutting the door. Did that really just happen? Jax always seemed to be bothered by your presence in the boys lives but you had been friends with them way before she ever came around so you weren’t planning on leaving. You stomped back up the stairs and locked eyes with Nick, who was now awake and standing in the kitchen.

“Woah. Why do you look so pissed off?” Nick chuckled, noticing the scowl playing on your face as he pulled a box of cereal out of the pantry. A huff fell past your lips as you made your way over to the table and pulled out a chair, taking a seat and abruptly dropping your head onto the hard surface. “Miss sunshine and rainbows is here unannounced! Completely ruined my morning.”

Nick’s eyes widen as he poured milk into his bowl, “Why is she here this early?” Luckily Nick seemed to hate Jax just as much as you did, something was off about her and you both were trying to get to the bottom of it. You lifted your head up and watched as Nick shoveled some apple jacks into his mouth. Shrugging your shoulders in response you felt your stomach churn. Chris was too amazing to be dating someone like her…

“We were planning on filming a vlog today if you want to join. You know you’re always welcome, maybe it will help you keep your mind off of everything.” Nick offered, shooting you a genuine smile, knowing about your hidden feelings for his younger brother.

“Keep your mind off what?” Matt’s voice said as he came out of his bedroom, his hair shooting in different direction from his nightly slumber.

“Jax.” You deadpanned, stealing Nick’s spoon and copying his movements as you yourself shoveled some cereal into your mouth. As you chewed the bite you had taken the room in the air turned cold, causing your brows to furrow as you looked between Matt and Nick. With cereal still in your mouth you spoke up again, “Why are you guys being so quiet?”

“What about me?” A voice behind you sassed, the hairs on your arm standing up as you realized why Matt and Nick had stopped talking. Quickly, you gulped down the cereal and turned in your chair to see Jax and Chris standing side by side, his arm swung over her shoulders. “Yeah, are you guys having fun without us?” Chris asked, oblivious to the tension shared between you and his girlfriend.

“I’m going to go brush my teeth and get dressed.” Matt said, excusing himself from the conversation and b-lining down the hall. The tension was finally cut as Chris began talking to Nick about the vlog they would be filming today. Jax never let up on the glares she would send you as she moved around the kitchen with Chris, helping him make some eggs, sausage links, and toast for breakfast. It was in moments like these you were thankful for Nick as he stayed by your side and did his best to hold a conversation with Chris.

After everybody was dressed and ready for the day you followed Nick out of his room as he started messing with the camera, turning it on and going to find Matt.

Matt checked his hair in the bathroom mirror, giving the audience a quick spiel about his target thermal, causing you and Nick to laugh from behind the camera. The fans were used to seeing you appear in their videos at this point, always leaving comments when they would hear you in the background.

Jax pushed past you for the second time today, making her way in front of the camera. Fans had started noticing her in the videos too, soft launching her and Chris’ relationship through small moments they had shared in other recent videos.

“Did you already tell them where we are going today Matt?” She asked, fake niceness dripping off her venomous fangs. “Awww, Matt’s got a boo boo.” Chris teased, now appearing in the frame next to Jax as she took hold of his hand.

Nick turned the camera around to the two of you as he explained that Matt had been experiencing some ankle pain for months, and they were finally all taking a group trip to urgent care so he could get it checked out. You felt all of your energy drain out of your body as you observed Jax and Chris from behind the camera, watching silently as she seemed to always have something to say. Even her laugh pissed you off, you couldn’t seem to figure out what it was about her that rubbed you the wrong way.

—-

A couple days had passed and you were back at the triplets place for dinner. Nick had uploaded the vlog for their Wednesday video a little earlier and you decided to scroll through the comments as you both sat side by side on the couch.

I hope y/n is doing okay, she didn’t seem like herself in this vid 🥺

omg did you guys see jax and chris in the background at 12:53???? i’m glad chris is happy !!!

ugh jax is gorgeous i love seeing her in the videos

more jax content plzzz!!!! (and y/n) love them both 🫶

Bad choice. You were agitated that everybody seemed to love the girl that you were beginning to despise. It was almost like it was all an act. She was a complete stuck up bitch off camera, but as soon as the camera was rolling she was the nicest person anyone has ever met.

As you felt yourself spiraling down a hole of despair Nick gently nudged your arm, causing you to look at him as he sat beside you on the couch. He gave you a questioning look, silently asking what was up. Without words, you handed the phone over to him, showing him the comments all praising Jax. Glancing over the back of the couch you saw Jax at the kitchen table, her phone propped up against a candle as she continued her tiktok live.

“Baby, come say hi to my live?” Jax probed, positioning her phone so that Chris was in view. Chris smiled and waved to the camera, watching as the live flooded with thousands of viewers.

Jax began gushing over the attention she was getting, just by bringing Chris into the frame. That’s when it hit you, she was just using him for fame and views. “God, I’m gonna be sick.” You mumbled, pushing yourself off the couch and storming up the stairs into Nick’s room, slamming the door behind you and hoping that everybody heard it.

One of your hands aggressively rubbed over your face as you paced around the bedroom. You couldn’t believe that it had taken you so long to piece it together, the mood switches on and off camera seemed so obvious now. A voice from the staircase caused you to jump slightly,

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

“Chris what are you doing? I’m sure she’s fine, you don’t have to check up on her.” Jax’ voice followed, snapping at him like he was some sort of dog. Normally, Chris would bend to her every command so you were even more shocked to hear a knock on the door. It cracked up slightly, Chris peering in around the frame and making eye contact with you as you stayed glued to the middle of the floor.

Chris fully walked in, leaving the door wide open behind him which allowed Jax to stand in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest.

“What? No more tiktok live? You’ll probably get millions of viewers! People love drama.” You spat, finally not caring about trying to remain civil towards her. Jax stared back at you, swallowing her nerves as she realized you had read through her little act.

“What’s going on?” Chris asked, looking between the both of you as he stood in the middle of your staring contest.

“Tell him, Jax,” You edged. “Tell him that you’ve just been using him for views.”

Chris turned back towards his girlfriend, his confusion being replaced with sadness, “Is that true?” He searched her face in hopes that she would instantly deny the accusation being thrown at her, but she remained silent. A look of guilt played on her face as her lip began to quiver.

“Chris, look… I-I can explain.” She stuttered, her voice coming out shaky and weak. Chris shook his head, knowing there was nothing she could say that would make things better.

“No, get the fuck out of my house Jax. We’re done.” He pointed his finger down to the floor, telling her to leave.

“But Chris I-“

“I said leave!” He yelled, tears filling his eyes, he could barely look at the girl. Timidly, Jax descended down the stairs, tail between her legs as she faced defeat. Chris felt his body trembling with nerves and anxiety, ultimately falling apart when he heard her go out of the front door. A sob escaped his lips as he slowly turned around to see you still standing there.

“Oh Chris…” You cooed, walking over to the broken, brown haired, boy and pulling him down into a hug. You gently ran your hand over the boys head, smoothing his hair. Chris felt like his world was tumbling apart. This was why he wasn’t a relationship person. This was why he was closed off, because why would anybody want to experience pain like this?

“I’m so so sorry. You deserve so much better Chris.” You whispered into his shoulder, pressing a firm kiss there without a second thought. Chris’ sobs began to die out as he allowed you to keep holding him, whispering sweet nothings into his ears. Finally, he broke away from your embrace, his eyes red and puffy from the tears he’d shed.

“We’re not all like that you know. There’s going to be a girl out there who loves you for you and who treats you the way you deserve. None of that superficial bullshit is going to matter because all that will matter is her love for you.” You reassured him, your hands still resting on either side of his neck on his shoulders.

“How can you be so sure?” He whispered.

“Because I love you Chris. And I have for a long time now, I just didn’t want to overstep your boundaries since I knew you weren’t super keen on relationship…”

His face prepped up at confession, a small smile forming across his lips. “I love you too.”

Now, it was your turn to be confused, a quizzical expression playing on your face. Did you really hear what you thought you heard, or were you dreaming?

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, his hand coming up to rest below your chin, his thumb running over your bottom lip. Your lips parted as he traced over it with his thumb, heat spreading through out your body.

You nodded your head, granting him permission to kiss you. His hand gently pushed your chin up as he brought his lips down to connect with yours in a deep kiss. A hum escaped you as you kissed him back, his tongue snaking his way in, tasting all of you. The kiss was better than you could’ve ever imagined and now that you’ve felt it you weren’t sure how you had gone so long without it.

After a few more seconds Chris pulled away, pressing a firm and final kiss on your lips almost as if he was sealing the deal.

Thank god Jax was finally gone.

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fluff

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clavissionary-position · 3 hours

Text

(Translation) Emma Turns Into a Bunny Again [His POV Story]

Gilbert's new (120k🙃) bonus-story for the My Honey's a Bunny event. The actual title of the story is "How to Properly Keep a Baby Rabbit."

Contains some sexual content. MDNI.

—

I was spending my days in contentment after bringing the little rabbit home from Rhodolite when this happened.

Gilbert: ......

(A rabbit...)

I'd fallen ill last night and decided to sleep in a separate room from Emma so she wouldn't notice.

But when I came to meet her this morning what I found instead was an actual rabbit.

The color of its hair and eyes were exactly the same as Emma's.

And the dress I'd gifted her earlier was now carelessly spread out on the floor.

Gilbert: [still shocked] Did you go and turn into a rabbit again?

When asked this, Emma began to nod repeatedly.

(Well this sure takes me back...)

Back when I'd been staying in Rhodolite, a rather unexpected event had occurred where Emma had turned into a rabbit.

I'd ultimately concluded it to be a dream at the time, and I was sure I was probably dreaming this time around, too.

However, dream or not, that didn't change the fact that Emma was now a rabbit.

Gilbert: Hehe, are you sure it's alright not to run from me this time?

(Even though you were so blatantly scared the last time.)

When I knelt down on the floor, Emma rushed over to me in a series of hops and began nuzzling my knee.

But then she suddenly froze-up for whatever reason and instead began repeatedly tapping me with her front paws.

(I can't really tell what you're trying to say, but... you're being so cute that it makes me want to immediately go get a cage ready for you.)

I picked up Emma the very literal little rabbit with my hands and raised her to my eye-level.

Her rabbit ears twitched as though she were trying to convey something to me.

Gilbert: Is there something you want to tell me?

With another series of nods, Emma took her short little paw and pointed to her own mouth.

(Oh, I see...)

[Flashback to his original event story]

Emma: H-hey, wait... I turned back...

Emma: ...Hold on, I'm naked!?

Gilbert: Completely naked.

[End flashback]

(If I recall correctly, it'd been a kiss that time that had returned her to her original form.)

Her cute, round eyes now were insisting I bring our faces closer.

Getting a request from such an adorable creature would make anyone want to do whatever it asked.

(However...)

Gilbert: I'm going prove to you that I still love you all the same even as a rabbit. Which is why... you understand, don't you?

(I won't let you kiss me that easily.)

Even though I understood what Emma was flying into a panic over trying to tell me, I hid that acknowledgement behind a smile.

(Wouldn't it be a waste to have you turn back right away when you're this cute?)

Gilbert: It's almost time, little rabbit.

Gilbert: I'm inviting some nobles from the region over today. I figure it's been a while since I've played the Conquering King.

After securing the little rabbit in my breast-pocket so she wouldn't fall, I began walking.

I felt like even the depressing stuff about to come could be enjoyable in itself with the little rabbit at my side.

I sat on the vile throne and gazed down upon the nobles bowing their heads.

Every time I assumed this position, I was reminded that I wasn't a man but a beast.

But I had the little rabbit sitting all small and quiet on my lap today, and so my mind was at peace.

(Looks like the nobles and soldiers alike are curious about Emma.)

Not that any of them would say a word about it.

Because they were quite aware that any imprudent remark here and now would only result in immediate beheading.

Gilbert: [grinning] Well, then, shall we start?

Gilbert: I've gathered you all here today for no other reason than to discuss the smuggling reports I've received.

The atmosphere grew tense at once.

I gently stroked the little rabbit with my palm when she, too, stiffened.

Gilbert: Those who have any idea about what I'm talking about should step forward now.

Gilbert: I'm in a good mood today. Which means as long as you don't lie, I might actually show a bit of mercy, you know?

Baron: My gravest apologies, Lord Gilbert.

One of the nobles bowing their heads rubbed his forehead against the floor.

Baron: It's true that we discovered a smuggling route within our territory. However, our house is not involved with it in any way whatsoever.

Baron: The matter is currently under investigation, and I have a progress report with me.

Baron: I'm truly sorry for not reporting it before you—

Gilbert: Oh, no, no, I wasn't talking about you.

Gilbert: My words were directed at the man groveling beside you.

Baron: Huh...

Earl: ...T-this is my first time learning about any smuggling—

Gilbert: Ohh, so that's what you're going with.

Gilbert: I was especially trying to show you mercy today, but what a shame.

(Even though I don't want to scare the little rabbit too much.)

When I turned my gaze to my lap I found the little rabbit looking up at me with worry.

(Are you worried about me or are you worried about the man? ...Because if it's the latter, I'll have no choice but to kill him.)

I gave her chin a little tickle as my way of saying things would be okay.

Gilbert: Earl, you used someone else's territory and then tried to pin the blame on them.

Gilbert: It's the deception that Obsidian so adores. But unfortunately, deception is also the very thing I despise most in this world.

Gilbert: I'll ask you one more time, though. Do you really not know anything about the smuggling?

Earl: ......

The man turned pale and held his tongue as I unleashed my murderous intent.

This was common behavior among liars.

Gilbert: ...I see. That's fine, then.

Gilbert: I don't want my adorable little rabbit to have to see any blood. And besides, it's not like there's really any clear evidence to begin with, right?

The earl's blatant show of relief was all-too-easy to understand.

Gilbert: But you know, it's your fault my precious little rabbit is so scared.

Gilbert: To be this frightened... Poor little thing.

(It's probably because of the murderous intent I'd unleashed... But he was the one who made me do so in the first place.)

Perhaps it was animal instinct that made her so sensitive to murderous intent that wasn't even directed at her.

The little rabbit trembled, but when I stroked my fingers between her ears, her tiny face nuzzled closer to me.

(Crap, I'm gonna smile.)

Gilbert: [managing to keep his cool] Well, at any rate, you're at fault for scaring my rabbit.

Earl: Lord Gilbert...?

Gilbert: Therefore, guilty. Of a grave crime on top of that. Put him in jail, Roderic.

Roderic: Yes, sir!

Earl: Wait a minute! No matter how you look at it, this is just—

Gilbert: Huh, what's that? You dare complain against me?

As I presented my usual smile, the room fell into silence at once.

(Let's see about detaining him on charges of intimidation of a rabbit until he comes clean.)

(...I'll handle whatever comes after when the little rabbit isn't looking... Hehe.)

Once the deceitful man was taken away, not one of the remaining nobles tried making eye-contact with me.

The only one who looked at me straight-on was the little rabbit.

(Another worried reaction.)

(...Is she telling me to show the man mercy? And yet that's not what I'm sensing.)

(What could it be, this unease...)

Baron: ...Lord Gilbert, we...

Gilbert: Oh, I'm finished with my business here, so feel free to retire. Thank you for your hard work.

Gilbert: But do keep this in mind.

Gilbert: —I will never tolerate corruption and deceit. Each and every one of you should give yourselves a good look if you wish to live a long life.

(You guys are my deception reserve group, after all.)

All the gathered nobles saluted in a panic and left the throne room with pale faces.

Gilbert: Come, little rabbit. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'll bathe you thoroughly as an apology.

Once the audience ended, I immediately put together a hot bath out of concern that I'd exposed her to a filthy atmosphere.

(Although half of it's just my mischievous spirit.)

Surprisingly, the little rabbit didn't show any restraint.

She obediently immersed herself in the hot water in the basin while firmly keeping her head raised.

(She still seems worried even though we left the throne room. ...Am I just imagining things?)

Gilbert: You hated this so much the last time, little rabbit. ...Aren't you embarrassed?

After I lathered my hands with plant-based soap and began stroking it along the little rabbit's fur, her eyes narrowed in relaxation.

(You have complete trust in me nowadays.)

After rinsing her with hot water, I wrapped her small body in a towel.

But just as I did, the little rabbit suddenly began flailing around violently.

Gilbert: Ahaha, are you only now getting embarrassed?

(I wonder if I accidentally touched some place funny.)

I gently held her close to my chest so I wouldn't drop her.

Taking that momentary advantage, the little rabbit nimbly hopped from my arms until the tip of her nose touched my lips.

(Oh...)

Emma: Whoa!

The rabbit turned into a person right before my eyes.

I obviously wasn't going to be surprised by this in the event it happened a second time.

But I couldn't help but stare fixedly when a wet, naked body appeared before me.

Emma: ....Please don't look at me like that.

Gilbert: [grins] I washed every inch of you, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about at this stage now, right?

Gilbert: But I definitely got careless there, didn't I.

(I never imagined I'd fall for such a basic trap.)

In normal cases I would have absolutely picked up on the little rabbit's ploy.

Gilbert: ...I'm disappointed in myself.

Emma: Hya—

A cute sound spilled from her lips when I bit her neck.

Whether she was a person or an animal, the little rabbit was utterly adorable.

Gilbert: I wonder if a rabbit will listen properly to whatever you say if you train it?

I slid my lips from her neck to her collarbone before descending to her breasts and gently biting the tip.

As I rolled her nipple with the tip of my tongue while taking in the soap's pleasant fragrance, Emma hurriedly tried to push my forehead away with her hand.

Gilbert: [smiling] What is it?

When I peered into her face I found her eyes wavering and trembling with worry, just like when she'd been an animal.

Emma: Gil...

Emma placed a hand on my forehead while looking like she might start crying at any moment.

Emma: I knew it... You have a fever!

Gilbert: [surprised] ......

Emma: Are you saying you didn't notice? Even though you're this hot to the touch?

(Ah... So that was the meaning behind the little rabbit's gaze.)

Gilbert: Hehe, or maybe I'm just aroused from seeing you naked?

Emma: That's ridiculous. Your hands are always cold when you undress me.

Emma: Let's head to bed at once!

Gilbert: When you put it like that—

Emma: I don't mean it in a pervy way, I genuinely just want you to rest!

Emma pulled my hand and forcefully dragged me to bed.

(...I'm okay, though...)

But just like that, I was laid against the sheets and put to bed.

Gilbert: [smiles] Little rabbit.

Emma: Do you need medicine?

Gilbert: ....Yes. That's right, I need medicine.

I swallowed what I was actually going to say and instead pulled Emma under the covers with me.

Gilbert: Hehe... I have an all-purpose medicine right here, so I imagine I'll get better in no time?

Emma: ...I pray that's what happens.

Emma nuzzled her face into my chest the same way she had when she'd been a rabbit.

She must have clearly noticed how fond the beast was of such an act.

(Baby rabbits are the weakest of creatures in this world.)

(Eaten up by beasts right away, and seeming like they'll die at the slightest thing...)

(Even so, you were the only one.)

(I met with loads of people today, but you were the only one who looked me in the eye and noticed something was wrong.)

(The brave and kind-hearted little rabbit...)

I hugged her hard. Tightly.

(Please let me feel that this isn't a dream.)

~fin

-----------

If it really is a dream again this time around, then he's having this dream while sleeping, sick, in a separate room. And even though he chose to do so because he didn't want Emma to notice that he's sick, this dream shows that what he actually wants is the exact opposite. I mean, it's Gilbert. Of course that's what he wants. To be comforted. And to catch Emma naked.

I hope he wakes up in Emma's arms. And I hope he gets scolded for trying to hide how he was feeling.

Disclaimer: I just throw stuff into translators online, so accuracy is not guaranteed. References: こくこく 1 | わけでもない 1 | この俺 1 | ともなれば 1 2 | やましい 1

#ikemen prince #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri translation folder

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aspd-culture · 2 days

Note

Welcome back. You’re very informative.

I’m very confused about how numerous people, from you, to other antisocial people speaking from their experiences (some of which I learned are actually friends) to prosocial researchers of ASPD say that antisocial people see relationships as transactional. It’s not weird that you guys see it that way, it’s more like “and prosocials… don’t???” Because I’m certain I’m prosocial. I’m neurodivergent, sure, but no signs of ASPD. So, how do most prosocial people typically view relationships if they’re not transactional?

So I find prosocials and pwASPD both tend to think “but doesn’t everybody” when we hear this - it’s a super undescriptive term - but we’re thinking different things define something as transactional. We also see the reason for that transaction to be different.

From a prosocial generally, they’ll mean “I only want to be around people that ‘don’t drain my energy’, that don’t just take take take, that we mutually enjoy the friendship/relationship and want to be around each other”. That’s kinda their definition of getting something out of it, and they want everyone to get something out of it. If they’re draining you, they want you to be free of it so you can be happy, and the transactions involved can be purely emotional/vibes. The reason they feel this way is a desire for positive and enjoyable social connection; the consequence for an uneven/bad/missing transaction is discomfort and wasting their time in negative experiences and generally feeling bad in association with that person.

PwASPD see those transactions very very literally. There’s no vibes nor emotions in the transactions, those are either a reaction to the transaction or a bonus. We mean that we are getting something tangible or practical out of it. Rides, help with things we can’t or don’t want to do alone, sex, maybe even the social relief from the annoyance of “why don’t you ever talk to anyone?” coming from all sides. We also don’t always care if it’s even on the other person’s end. If they’re ok driving me everywhere/if they do it and don’t say or show they’re uncomfortable, then I will assume they are fine with that piece of the transaction. If I’m taking more than I’m giving and they seem chill with that then I’ll accept it. However, I won’t give them *nothing* and that’s because of our reason for transactions - it’s dangerous otherwise. First off, I have shit I need I can’t get myself as much as it sucks, so I need to be around people. But if we need something from them, what we learned in our childhoods is that we don’t get that for free. There’s always something over your head. A lot of pwASPD had friends or caregivers that would hold favors or even *basic, legally-mandated caregiving* over our heads as though we didn’t deserve it. Often our value was determined as a child by what we provided, and since children can’t provide much, we were worthless and not deserving of good treatment.

This is part of the reason (TW non-descriptive CSA mention, skip to the next paragraph if you want) that people thought ASPD was directly correlated with CSA for a long time - many cases of long term CSA come from either “I’ll give you x/do x for you if you help me with this” or worse, doing something first then saying “but I gave you X!/did X for you! I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d act like this”, often call us selfish if we tried to say no and maybe get aggressive or forceful after, and that is an easy lead-in to our view of interactions.

So a lot of us see it that if we want to be safe/know we can continue to get what we need, we HAVE to be giving them something. If you claim you like being around me “just to be around me” or worse that you’re willing to do something for me “just because I want to”, that’s not safe. You want something from me and I’ll give it to you - just tell me what it is. If you’re not telling me, that means it’s not good or you’re just gonna decide later that I’m selfish. You might hurt me to get what you want and justify it with this. Take something from my side so we’re even, because even means safe. Even means I get access to what I need and you get access to what you need - so now we’re both using this relationship/friendship/etc for something and you wouldn’t wanna mess that up by putting me in danger any more than I’d want to mess it up by putting you in danger.

Of course, not every prosocial sees it the first way and not every pwASPD had those experiences and/or sees it that way. But that��s what I’ve found to be common. If you see “they make me happy” as what your or their end of the transaction is, it’s definitely a prosocial response, maybe with the exception of thinking of it as “getting their brain to dopamine/oxytocin” vs caring how they’re actually feeling. If not, if you need it to be practical, that’s definitely transactional.

It’s important to note this is personal relationships with no practical consequences to ending the relationship - most people see relationships (platonic) with coworkers or managers as transactional and that’s a way I usually explain it to prosocials (“do you deal with your boss bc you like them or bc they sign your check - and would your boss keep you hired if you didn’t do your job because you make them happy just by being there?”). But with a romantic or sexual partner, a friend, etc. this is not a typical view of relationships.

That said - you can *absolutely* not have ASPD and have transactional view of relationships. It’s not a 1:1 thing there; not everyone with ASPD has it and not every prosocial doesn’t. It’s just a really common piece of the puzzle that is this personality disorder.

Edit: ack I’m so sorry I forgot to add the csa tw tags they’re there now.

Plain text below the cut:

Of course, not every prosocial sees it the first way and not every pwASPD had those experiences and/or sees it that way. But that’s what I’ve found to be common. If you see “they make me happy” as what your or their end of the transaction is, it’s definitely a prosocial response, maybe with the exception of thinking of it as “getting their brain to dopamine/oxytocin” vs caring how they’re actually feeling. If not, if you need it to be practical, that’s definitely transactional.

Edit: ack I’m so sorry I forgot to add the csa tw tags they’re there now.

#tw mentions of sex #tw csa #tw csa mention #tw abuse mention #tw sa #tw sa mention #tw child abuse mention #tw child abuse #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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sagethegaywitch · 3 days

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Yandere Staff Headcannons

GN reader

TW: yandere behavior, stalking, poisoning mentioned

Genre: yandere

The staff will all be platonic yanderes who view you as their child or younger sibling.

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Dire Crowley:

While he may act disinterested in your situation and may walk circles around finding a way to send you home, it’s partially because he’s incredibly interested in you. The Dark Mirror doesn’t make mistakes, so why would it bring a magicless human to the school? He comes to the conclusion that you must be his little apprentice, someone who can help him with his duties.

Allows you to take classes so you can get more familiar with this new world before you can start working for him. He observes your classes from the windows and doesn’t really make an effort to hide when you spot him. You brush it off as a weird Headmaster thing, but you always see him during your classes and even when you walk through the hallway.

After a while, he will invite you to the library to help him research a way to send you home. In reality, he took all books from the library about the Dark Mirror and other dimensions and hid them in his study to prevent you from leaving Twisted Wonderland. He will claim that it’s your responsibility to find a way home and that you need to help him research. You now join him in the library for an hour or two everyday scanning over books and reading ancient texts.

He’ll start offering you little snacks and reading next to you at the table to get you comfortable around him. He knows that his mask and taloned gloves are a bit off putting, but he’s trying to show you that he’s not a threat.

Eventually he’ll start using magic during these little sessions to gain your attention. From using magic to get books on higher shelves to teleporting to the cafeteria to get snacks, you’re soon interested in his magical capabilities. It starts as a game as you challenge him to do certain things like lifting up 100 books with magic to see how strong he is or asking him to breathe fire, but he’ll smugly complete the challenges without breaking a sweat.

Because of your interest in him, he offers you the opportunity to shadow him for a day to see how he uses magic in his daily life. You’ll agree because you’re curious about what he does all day, and unbeknownst to you, you unwillingly just agreed to be his apprentice.

He starts to drag you out of class more often, telling the teacher’s that it's official school business, and he’ll take you around school explaining certain aspects of the school that you need to know. From the history of the statues of the Great Seven to all the ancient magic items that the school houses, he’s basically preparing you to give school tours to prospective students.

He’ll try to teach you magic in his spare time, but he knows it will take a while because you didn’t have the proper training when you were younger. He takes it upon himself to make you the best mage in history, only second to him though.

He’s a very jealous man, and as your role model, he will begin isolating you from corrupted people. He can’t lash out at anyone because of his position as Headmaster, but that doesn’t prevent him from giving them detention or threatening them with expulsion.

He will get clingy when jealous and hang on your arms and whine loudly that you're abusing his niceness towards you by wasting your time on other people. He will only be appeased with excessive praise and/or a promise from you to stay by his side. He’s very insecure that you don't favor him and he needs constant reassurance that he’s your favorite.

Overall, he’s desperate for any attention from you and he can’t wait to make you his apprentice. He doesn’t quite view you as his child because even he knows he probably won’t make a good parent. But he’s ready to give you all of his knowledge and prepare you to become a great mage and maybe take on the role of the school’s Assistant Headmaster.

Mozus Trein:

He and Vargas are one of the few people not disgusted by the fact you have no magic. Since magic history does not actually involve the usage of magic, he does not really care if you can’t use it.

He treats you no differently and still grades you just as hard as he does his other students, but he does appreciate it when you score higher than the rest of the class. He is the kind of teacher to pin your test to the board and tell the whole class that you scored better even if you’re magicless.

Gets fatherly when you ask him for some help on a certain topic after school. You’re very polite and nod along as he explains the historical context of the topic and gives you some extra reading from his personal library to help you understand better.

He doesn’t let you remove his books from his room because he doesn’t fully trust you with his private collection, but he’ll let you read in his room during lunch if you want. Soon these reading sessions during lunch become daily, and he often stays in his room to monitor you.

He’s amazed by your love for literature and complex thinking when you offer him critiques on each book you read. You two begin to have conversations about authors and their writings, and how it relates to the discovery and usage of magic throughout the years.

When you finally gain his trust, you also gain Lucius’ trust. The first day that Lucius jumps out of Trein’s arms and into your lap as you sit next to your teacher was the day that Trein took on his role as your father.

He doesn’t really like eating cafeteria food, so he’ll often pack his own. When he gets closer to you, he starts to pack extra portions for you. To make it more natural, he’ll start first with small snacks before moving on to full meals. You always feel guilty that he’s cooking for you, but it's not like you can reject his kind gesture. In return, you always try to make him some sweets each week. He doesn’t really enjoy sweets anymore, but he loves it when you make some homemade ones just for him.

He will have Lucius follow you around during the day to make sure you’re being safe. Students begin to wonder why the cat is wandering around the halls, but they’re all a bit too scared of Trein to find out. Sometimes Lucius will strut into your class and will make himself comfy on your lap while you’re trying to take notes.

Nobody will really realize what Trein is doing with you, and if anyone asks, he brushes it off as a teacher looking out for his favorite student. He tries not to show his favoritism during class, but other students will see him asking you to stay behind after class and watch him offer you a seat next to his so you two can discuss the most recent book you’ve been reading.

Will not intervene with your friendships but will tell you how much he dislikes your more troublesome friends because he believes they are bad influences on you. He might give them detention for the smallest of reasons to keep them away from you.

Overall, he will never cross the fatherly line and knows when you get uncomfortable with his protectiveness of you. He wants you to come to him in your times of need and see him as a role model, so he is willing to do what you want to stay in your good graces.

Divus Crewel:

You’re just a magicless human, why should he care about you? Why is your face so cute, and why does he see some potential in you to be great? He will brush these questions off and will continue to treat you as a mutt among pure breeds.

His attitude about you changes when you score the highest grade on one of your tests. You spent extra time studying and preparing for this one because you were hoping to raise your grades, but now you also have Crewel’s attention. At first, he thinks you cheated, but he was watching you closely turning the exam to make sure you didn’t fall behind, so he rules that option out.

When he passes out the graded tests, he sighs and gives credit where credit is due. He’ll pat you on your head after he places the test on your desk and will call you a good boy/girl. The way your face lights up at his approval blinds him momentarily before he continues to pass out the tests.

Will continue to monitor you throughout the next few weeks and give you little praises just to see your reaction again.

He sees that you still struggle a bit in class because normal science and magic science are so different, so he uses it as an excuse paired with your curiosity to stay after class almost everyday so he can tutor you. At first he’ll make a show of saying it's a big chore to help you, but the longer the tutoring goes on, the more excited he is to spend extra time with you.

He will begin holding you back after class each day to tell you that he’s proud of the progress you’ve made since you first started his class, and he will offer you helpful criticism on your assignments and how to improve your research.

Because he’s finally helping you in class, you take the opportunity to ask him a bunch of questions about the sciences of the magical world. From potionology to curses, you’re interested in everything and just want them explained to you. He’s surprised by your interest in the topics he teaches, but he puffs up in pride that you’re asking for his knowledge.

He’s a bit too young to be a father figure, but he’s also a bit too old to be a big brother, so he settles for the in between. He’ll be your educational role model during school hours, but outside of the school setting he’s your big brother.

During school he helps tutor you and obviously favors you during class, but outside of class he’s making comments about your clothing and offering to make and tailor some just for you.

He doesn’t think it's inappropriate to take his favorite student shopping at designer stores or buying an excessive amount of fabric to make you fitted clothing. He loves to spoil you when you’re good, like getting top grades in class, but he can also be firm when you’re struggling to keep up in your studies.

He secretly adds details in your clothing that matches his usual outfits like adding black and white designs that are similar to the ones on his coat or adding red accents somewhere.

As your older brother and father, he thinks it's his duty to protect you from the lowly mutts of the school. He is already pretty strict, but now he’s handing out detention to the people he deems too lowly to be in your presence. He also refuses to allow you to date because it will take you away from your studies and your special time with him. Maybe a simple poison will take care of any potential suitors for a while.

Overall, he uses your human curiosity and magicless quality to drag you into supplemental tutoring after school, which soon transitions into weekly outings to go shopping. He is very defensive about you and is willing to take a few students out if it ensures you stay by his side.

Ashton Vargas:

He probably took note of you during P.E. class, and whether you are really good at sports or hate them, he can see the dormant physical power you have. He doesn’t mind that you can’t use magic, but it does cause some complications during broom flying lessons. He’s a bit dense and will have you try to ride a broom, your cheeks flushed red from the pointless effort and from the embarrassment as he offers you encouraging words.

He’ll train you harder during class and even invite you to jog with him around the field after your class. It may seem odd at first, but you just assume that he wants to help you succeed in his class, so you reluctantly agree.

During these little sessions he’ll teach you about the body and all the different muscles by showing off his physique. He’ll show off his muscles to gain your attention and will tell you that you’ll be big and strong like him one day.

His favorite activity to teach you is broom flying because he sees you struggle so much during class. He understands that you don’t have magic, but he knows that with a lot of hard work and practice, you will be able to do it. He will sometimes allow you to ride on a broom with him to get you used to flying through the air and understanding how the broom works.

He also does this cute thing where he’ll make you sit on the broom before hefting the broom in the air to run you around the field to simulate flying.

He’s not a great chef, but he tries to bring you homemade and healthy snacks for you to munch on throughout the day. From protein cookies to fruit bowls, he supplies you with the necessary nutrients to make you stronger. This is one of the rare times that he acts all bashful because he’s concerned about you rejecting his efforts. Although most of the treats he makes are a little janky, you always accept them and enjoy eating them.

As your training goes on, you two get closer and form a friendship based on shared exercise goals. If you don’t like working out, he’ll always gently encourage you to do what feels comfortable and will push you when needed. If you’re like him and you love exercising, he’s matching your energy and pushing the both of you as far as you can go.

He’s not really jealous of other people because a quick flex of his muscles should make them feel inferior, but it’s also a silent threat that he would absolutely beat them up in a fight.

Overall, he may have a very startling height and body size, but he’s really sweet and just wants the best for your health. He’s going to love the time you two spend chasing each other around the field and him trying to teach you to use a broom. Now you have your own little cheerleader who is going to support you throughout your exercising journey.

Sam:

He is forever grateful that you keep him in business at the school. Because you have to work on campus to earn money to pay for meals, class materials, and other stuff, you’ve been going to Sam’s shop to buy cheaper versions of the necessities. When you visit, he does what he does with all the other students that make their way to his shop and offers you trinkets that have questionable origins.

When he first offered you an interesting looking keychain, you were genuinely interested in what it was and started asking questions on where it came from and what it does. He is more than happy to spin a dramatic tale of how he had to fight off monsters and narrowly avoid traps to obtain the little keychain that is said to have great magical powers.

You’re one of the only people to actually buy his little knick-knacks if you ended up liking the story that went along with it. He tries his best to weave the most intricate tales to get you to stay longer and maybe buy another item.

The storytelling went from a gimmick to make you buy more to him actually enjoying putting a meaning behind the random treasures he has in his shop. He vaguely remembers where he got most of the junk from, but he thinks giving them a story will give them more value to you.

After school you’re often found tucked in a corner of Sam’s shop, reading an ancient book about voodoo or tinkering around with the odd things hanging from the ceiling. Either way, Sam begins to enjoy your presence in his shop that barely gets visited by other students or staff.

He views himself as your cool older brother and he loves to teach you about the history of dark magic. He will always warn you away from it, but he still gives you frequent lessons about it like how to summon creatures from the other side or how shadow manipulation works.

He’s not jealous in nature since he doesn’t get out much, but if you’re getting bullied at school, he’ll slip you an unknown ball of something to place in your bully’s bag. He’ll never tell you what they do, but you trust him, so you always carefully plant the ball before making a quick getaway.

Overall, a very secretive man who will only share his deepest and darkest secrets with you. He loves that you’re so interested in his culture and he’s excited to teach you a little more about the magic he uses. Since he has so many friends on the other side, he might even be able to give you magical abilities.

#male reader #female reader #gn reader #yandere #xreader #staff #dire crowley #mozus trein #divus crewel #ashton vargas #sam #twisted wonderland #platonic

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noddaduck · 1 day

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What gets me about Kipperlilly is that while her trauma envy is messed up, she really is facing an opposite problem to the Bad Kids.

Some people on here are saying that if she wanted to go on big adventures she should have done it herself and not expected some kind of plot hook to give her an opening. But we are seeing how that is going for the Bad Kids this season, and it clearly sucks. Fabian went on his first date with Mazey, yet so much of that conversation and role play was still about the mystery and the mission. Gorgug lost a chance to spend time with his bio parents because he was trying to get into a really learning heavy class. The Bad Kids are such good friends, but they can only spend time together in shared classes or as part of the mission. Why would you expect that of anyone?

Most Aguefort kids aren’t going on big real-world adventures like the Bad Kids cause that’s literally being in High School while also working a full time career oriented job. And yet some of these kids know that this is all just leading up to that real job that they’ve never really experienced or seen proof that they could handle. Is it so weird for a child to want confirmation that they’ll be able to do all the things they’re supposed to do as an adult, especially when they are seeing other kids get that confirmation?

Riz isn’t strong because he suffered, he’s strong because he has an amazing mom he looked up to and learned from and who taught him. Having that vision of his own best self, not just a copy of another person but really something he loves that he was able to really learn thanks to the support he was lucky to get DESPITE his and his mom’s financial situation. He chased his own dream of being a master detective, of dishing out justice, and he got so good at it that it let him kill an ancient red dragon.

Personally, I was one of the smart kids in class, but I wasn’t one of the gifted and talented. One kid was working with circuitry in a class where I was learning about screws and levers. In a photography class I got paired up with a kid in a lower grade than me who full on made his own model rocket fuel for homemade bottle rockets. Combining that with having ADHD that nobody properly educated me about, I always thought I was just missing something. I’m taking my medicine, I’m going to class and trying to join clubs, why is it that every time I ask someone to teach me they don’t have time for a total beginner? Why is being my own teacher the only way to learn these things, and why can’t I do that if apparently everyone else does?

I just don’t blame Kipperlilly for being upset when she is presented with the Bad Kids as an example to follow despite the fact that neither she NOR the Bad Kids are given proper time to actually work toward that goal. The Bad Kids don’t actually have the time for adventures on top of their regular lives, but they are forced to do it anyway. Kipperlilly allowed for time so the Rat Grinders could have whatever their normal lives looked like, at least until they all were taken by Ancarna. If your choice is to either work yourself to death and be told you did the correct thing, or to take your time and be shown that you are wasting it, why wouldn’t you be angry?

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #fhjy #fhjy spoilers

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busylickingsatansballs · 22 hours

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Climb inside of me.

Nell Jackson x reader

Summary: Nell left you, will you give her a chance to make explain herself.

Notes: it only took me an hour, it's based off of a poem.

Inspired by the song Again - Noah Cyrus and XXXTENTACION

It hurt in a way you’d never felt before when she left, like grieving a missing limb. And then she’d died that pain was multiplied to the point of suffocation.

Then one night at the Talbot you saw her swan in the same way she left and your head started to spin.

She was back. And real, not something you’d made up in my head to ease the grief.

You jump up and head for the front door heart pounding in your ears. Disappearing without so much as a back glance.

It killed her. So she’d asked Roxy to talk to you being too much of a coward to do it herself.

Roxy raced down the next day practically begging you to go see her. No doubt Nell had asked her to but you’d refused to let yourself even be entertained by the idea.

“she wants to see you ya know” your head was already shaking side to side before she’d finished.

“She made her choice, she can just deal with it Roxy.” You had a very that was that tone as you fixed your hair, hands smoothing over your dress.

So Roxy didn’t waste her breath asking twice.

Fingers twist the material at your side, something you only did when nervous.

She’d frozen a second, hesitated like she wanted to say more but didn’t.

Knowing you were putting on a front deep down you wanted to see her, she relayed the message anyway.

The deflated look in Nell’s eyes when you refused to see her, broke her heart.

Muttering a sorry as she patted Nell in passing.

Nell couldn’t sleep that night. No matter how much she tossed and turned, fingers twisting in the sheets the gnawing, absence never settled.

Your face wouldn’t leave her mind.

You were best friends why couldn’t you forgive her?

Or at least you used to be before she ruined everything. There was no expectation of easiness but time had made her forgetful of your stubborn nature.

She’d get you back even if it killed her.

You’d grown up together, she wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you go twice.

You the educated daughter of a wealthy doctor and Nell the uneducated daughter of a tavern owner.

She had no idea what you even saw in her sometimes but my god did she want to be seen by you.

You’d even slept in the same bed growing up, all snuggled up close under fading candle light fingers tight around your waist and Nell tried to pretend that it didn’t mean anything.

The delicate way you brushed your fingers over her features, faces just inches apart leaning close as you whispered to avoid waking anyone.

You consumed her. Lit the spark in her chest, she burned for you.

That burn bled into your everyday lives, she could barely contain herself when the local men tried their luck. It was met with a polite decline from yourself or Nell threatening to beat the infatuation out of any boy who mustered up the courage to try.

Nell sometimes caught herself wishing she was a boy it would make everything so easy.

She’d make a good husband. Nobody would ever hurt you, make you cry or take advantage of your kindness again.

She’d always known she wasn’t like most girls and you only made it more obvious.

The thoughts started to scare her becoming more intense as you aged. So she’d done the only thing she could and married Jackson leaving as soon as possible. He was a good man, had understood her situation. Understood he was her way out.

Understood she would never be a normal wife.

You’d been heartbroken, friends your whole lives and not even a goodbye.

One day she was there and the next gone like a ghost.

Nell Jackson had broken your heart.

Eyes darting back and forth between your notes ignoring the burn in your eyes,

Thumbs rub them blurry but Nell’s face doesn’t leave your mind.

Your stomach twists with excitement as you finish writing a possible cure for a disease you’d been working on.

She seemed to be a lot of places you were lately.

You grown suspicious, suspecting Roxy of foul play sometimes but lacked the proper evidence to accuse.

You always found an excuse to leave. She didn’t need us, didn’t need you.

You’d avoided Nell for weeks, Roxy thought it was silly you opting to drink at home throwing yourself into your work.

Couldn’t you see that they needed you? Nell needed you?

You’d see the girls in passing but not as before, it was hard and you missed them but you all needed the space you’d convince yourself to ease the guilt.

You leaned back in your office chair stretching tired limbs throwing the book to the growing pile as you enjoy the silence.

It would be dark in a few hours so you wanted to enjoy the last few hours of sunlight in peace.

You’d earned a rest. Earned a break from your inner torment even if just for a moment.

Being the towns doctors daughter, people came to you all hours for help.

You didn’t mind of course.

You were a sweetheart and the town loved you for it, beautiful, clever and exceptionally wealthy you had it all.

Well except a husband. But who wanted one of those?

Men were loud, rough and selfish. None of which appealed to you, women were soft, warm and smelled good.

Life would be so much easier if you could marry each other.

You often caught yourself wondering what it would be like curling up next to someone soft and warm..

A shake of your head puts a stop to that train of thought.

Those thoughts were for later, when it was dark and you could pretend your hand was possessed, working of it’s own volition under your night gown. The thoughts that clouded your mind were put there by the devil himself to torment you.

You caved every time.

Especially these last few weeks you’d find Nell’s face creeping in more.

Which only made it harder to look at her.

You’d had proposals from all sorts of men looking to marry into your family, the ones looking for love. The ones who wanted money, the ones who wanted to use your brilliance for their own selfish reasons.

You turned them all down.

One of the few lucky enough to have parents that didn’t care much about marriage marrying for love themselves.

The knock on your door startles, bringing you back to reality. You aren’t expecting anybody but then again you suppose you never were.

You look though the peephole, squinting till Nell’s features came into focus.

You swing the door open with more force than needed, Nell blinks in surprise.

“what do you want?” you know you sound rude, you try not to care.

Hurt flashes over her features but it’s so fleeting you could have imagined it.

“well a hello wouldn’t go a miss” irritation brews in your chest but it’s overshadowed with the ache of missing her.

You wanted to cry, bury your head in her neck and never let go.

“if I wanted to say hello I’d have called.” You quip cheeks hot.

You turn before she can see heading back the way you came with Nell at your heels.

You think you hear her close the door behind you.

You hope she has, it was hardly the safest village.

It doesn’t take long before your back in your office sitting back at your work station.

“figured I’d save you the trouble” she stops awkwardly in the middle of the room taking it all in.

The overwhelming rows of books, ingredients. Scribbled notes scattering the table, Nell doesn’t think she’s ever seen so many books in her life.

“that why you’re here, to say hello?” your words come out thin and pinched, you find yourself silently cringing at your own voice.

If Nell notices she doesn’t say anything.

“Yeah well, I missed ya” her fingers tap against a jar as she stares at the contents.

Your eyes watch Nell’s frame, she moves slow eyes scanning the various bottles and jars filled with all sorts.

“your the one who left” you huff.

“didn’t feel I ‘ad a choice” she’s looking at you now eyes gazing into your own.

“a goodbye would have been nice” you mutter.

“m sorry”

Nell continues to study your shelves and the silence stretches on.

Too long.

“don’t touch that” your across the room in seconds hand gripping her wrist tightly, alarm in your tone.

Nell jars slightly, looking at your grip on her wrist.

“It’s a paralytic.” You offer, her blank stare let’s you know she doesn’t understand so you carry on.

“you’ll be unable to move, paralysing your body and lungs eventually until you suffocate and die.”

“Cheery” Nell lowers her eyes and you realise with great embarrassment you still haven’t let go of her wrist.

Dropping her wrist you put away the deadly concoctions in sight as a precaution.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to die.” You offer lamely.

Nell’s heart sores at your words, you still cared. “I wouldn’t worry about that, I’m magic.” her joke confuses you tone awkward.

Nell knows she sounds lame but she doesn’t know what else to offer.

You meet her gaze properly, her eyes are so pretty.

“did I do something wrong?” Nell’s mind goes blank, how could you ever do anything wrong?

“Course not, why would you think that?” you grip your skirt fingers tightening and untightening. Twisting and pulling until you can’t anymore.

Nell’s grip tightens around your hand gently pulling the offending hand from your already creased skirt.

“because you never said goodbye.” and it sounds like the most childish thing in the world to be upset about.

But you are.

She pulls you in, slowly guiding you until your eye level with her chin.

You daren’t let your eyes stray further. Her hand moves to hold your own squeezing gently.

“I didn’t want to hurt ya, I had to leave. Had to leave before I did something stupid,” and of course it makes no sense.

“Stupid? I don’t understand” you pull gently, Nell doesn’t let go.

Pushing your wrists down until she’s forced to let go you take a step back.

“Stop talking in riddles and just be honest with me.”

Her brain freezes and she finds her mouth opening and closing without a sound coming out.

And so she does the only thing that she can, she kisses you.

Her lips are soft, warm. Unskilled they work against yours urgently.

Heat shoots down your spine coiling tight in your lower belly as she pushes you gently into the bookshelf behind.

You think you hear something fall but you don’t care. She’s so soft, eager and my god does she smell good.

Gasping for air you reluctantly pull back, releasing a shaky breath foreheads pressed together.

You think you hear here apologising but it doesn’t register.

How on earth could she be sorry for that?

“I shouldn’t have done that” it’s not an apology but close enough.

“why not?” Nell doesn’t have an answer, you didn’t seem upset which was a win.

She steps back and you panic.

Nell doesn’t miss it, moving closer to soothe you. “hey I ain’t goin nowhere” relaxing, you nod and step closer.

“it’s going to be dark soon, you should stay.”

Nodding wordlessly, Nell finds herself hypnotised as you lead her upstairs.

Finding herself in your bedroom watching you undress for bed, Nell can’t help but feel like the luckiest person in the world perching on the end of your bed.

You blush turning to find her gaze already on you.

“you sleeping like that?” you gesture towards her outfit. Trousers, boots, hat and a gentleman’s coat.

Pulling off her boots and coat, she hangs her hat over your bedpost, you blow out the candle.

Pushing herself up the bed as you crawled to meet her.

Snuggling up you press your head against her chest as you both get comfortable.

Whatever happened, you had each other. You were home.

#quote lesbian poetry #nell jackson #renegade nell #billy bennett #magic #Nell jackson x reader #Nell jackson fanfic #Lesbian imagine #sapphic #Sapphic friendship #derry girls #charles devereux #roxy trotter #george trotter #Renegade nell imagine #Fanfic

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luizd3ad · 2 days

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She's My Religion | Lily Evans x Fem!Reader One Shot

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Lily Evans x Reader

WC:8,636

TW: mentions of abuse, self-doubt, cursing, little bit of homophobia and use of homophobic slur, use of the word Mud-Blood (not used by reader), use of Y/N, Reader is implied to be a Slytherin but not directly specified, mentions of violence, death threats, It’s kinda angsty, but cute at the end.

Author's Note: I’ve never wrote for Lily so I’m sorry if this is out of character or something idk I tried this is also the longest fic I’ve written I didn’t mean for it to be this long😅.

Summary: What happens when Sirius Blacks little sister and Regulus Blacks twin sister starts to fall for the intelligent and beautiful Lily Evans?

I made this cute little mood board idk I just love this tbh

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳

Y/N Black had always been seen as the colder Black out of her and her two brothers and that was saying something especially considering her twin, Regulus.

Regulus and her had been close their whole lifes. Their eldest cousin Andromeda would say they were thick as thieves. Always doing everything together refusing to go or do anything without the other.

But after years of abuse from their partners and then it only getting worse when their older brother Sirius left she closed up, to the point of even icing Regulus out to an extent.

When Regulus made the choice to mend the bond between him and Sirius, Y/N made it clear that she wanted no part in it.

In Y/N’s eyes Sirius didn't care, he didn't love her. She knew he didn't. If he did, why would he leave them? Why would he leave her? Especially with those people.

Sirius had always protected Regulus and Y/N as much as he could. He would take punishment, sneak them food if they were forced to go without.

Eventually protecting them ment having Regulus go to The Potters with him when there was talk of an arranged marriage for Regulus.

Regulus left 12 Grimmauld Place during winter break in their 5th year, Y/N being left once again.

At that point she'd separated herself from everyone who'd cared for her, admittedly it was mostly her brothers but also the few friends she and Regulus shared.

Sirius had tried many times to talk to Y/N but she never budged, she'd rarely spare him a glance. He was shattered, Sirius felt as if he'd lost his baby sister.

Regulus took it worse not that he'd admit that to anyone who wasn't Sirius. He had hoped that she'd forgive them at some point and that she'd join them or at the very least understand why they left but she didn't.

Y/N wouldn't speak, look, or even be in the same room as Regulus if she could help it.

Regulus lost his twin, his other half, his life line and she didn't even seem to care.

But she did care she cared so fucking much.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Despite Y/N being cold and dark to those around her, she was smart.

Some would say smarter than Regulus, definitely smarter than Sirius.

So it came as no surprise to her when the summer between her 5th and 6th year Y/N got word that she was to join the 7th year potions class.

Honestly she didn't care, Walburga was as pleased as she could be and Orion unsurprisingly couldn't care less.

But that's how she found herself being in the potion class the year above and being assigned partners with her.

Lily Evans.

Y/N didn't know much about Lily other than she was friends with her brother and his friends, she was smart, a Gryffindor and muggle-born.

Now Y/N didn't care for blood statues. It never made sense to her, the hatred that so many purebloods held for half-bloods or muggle-borns.

It all seemed barbaric and honestly a waste of time.

So, no Y/N didn't care that she was partnered with someone who was a muggle-born.

She did care however that she was partnered with a friend of Sirius's. And it wasn't just a friend that he would see around and chat up with sometimes no, they were close friends.

This was going to be a problem.

“Hi, I’m Lily! Your Siris’ and Regs’ little sister right?”

Lily stuck out her hand for you to shake with one of the brightest smiles you think you've ever seen.

You simply roll your eyes and dismiss her hand shake.

“I prefer to be called by my name, Y/N, rather than being referred to as Sirius and Regulus' sister.”

Lily drops her hand and her smile falls just a tad, not enough for most people to notice, but you did.

“Of course. I'm sorry, truly.”

“It's fine Evans.”

You say coldly, giving your undivided attention to Slughorn.

The rest of class was spent taking notes mostly with Lily attempting to make small talk every so often. You ignored her for the rest of the class.

You knew Lily was only trying to be nice but you also knew she was only trying to be nice so she could bring up your brothers.

And talking about them was one of the last things you wanted to do.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Days started to pass turning into weeks, weeks turning into months.

You and Lily had been cordial.

You tried your best not to be completely rude to her since she always tried to make small talk and she was kind to you.

You actually grew quite fond of her over time but you didn't think that the two of you were friends by any means.

But you were acquaintances.

And you did like being in her presents.

It had been three months since school had started and Slughorn had announced that there was a project that was due in 2 weeks, right before christmas break would start and you were to work on it with your partner.

You sighed and looked to the side to see a smiling Lily.

You weren’t upset that you had to do a project with Lily considering she was very smart and you liked being around her, but you were upset knowing that you'd have to spend time with her after class and knowing that where she goes her friends were not far most of the time.

Which meant there was a possibility of seeing her friends, which meant a possibility of seeing Sirius and or Regulus more than you'd like.

“Okay Evans we’ll meet at the library after classes are done so we can just get this done. Please refrain from bringing your friends.”

Lily knew what you meant by that, you were asking her to keep Sirius and Regulus away from you.

Lily chuckled and shook her head.

“They go where they please.”

Translation. She couldn't stop either of them, more specifically Sirius, even if she wanted to.

“I see. I'll see you later Evans.”

You sigh once more gathering your things to walk away.

“Bye Y/N.”

It always caught you off guard when she would call you by your first name instead of your surname.

First names were meant for friends, yet she never called you Black.

She only ever called you Y/N, as if you were good friends.

You supposed that was just the type of person Lily was. She was nice to everyone unless they gave her a reason not to be.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

After classes you find yourself entering the library. You were expecting to have to wait for Lily but to your surprise she beat you there.

You walk to the table she was occupying, setting your things down.

Once she notices you she looks up from her seat smiling at you.

She had a very beautiful smile, one that made you feel your heart skip a beat for a moment. But you chose to ignore the feeling, deciding, hoping, it meant nothing.

“How were your classes Y/N?”

Lily asked with genuine curiosity in her eyes.

Did she actually care? She couldn't possibly care about my day. No, she didn't care, she was just asking to be polite. That was all. You tried to convince yourself.

“It was fine… How about you?”

Lily then went on about her day. She told you her favorite thing she learned that day, a joke her friend Mary told her that made you actually crack a small smile.

You couldn't help but hold on to every word that came out of her mouth.

Without you even realizing it Lily talking was easily becoming your favorite part of the days that followed.

You spent every day that week meeting with Lily at the library and you realized you actually really liked spending time with her. She had managed to make you smile a few times which was a rare sight.

Lily had this light to her that you couldn't describe. She was just everything good in the world.

She was funny, smart, sweet, kind, beautiful and you wanted to spend every moment you could with her.

You realized as the weekend grew closer you wouldn't have a reason to see her for two days. That bothered you and you couldn't figure out why.

The two of you were working late in the back of the library. The library was practically empty.

“There's a Hufflepuff party tomorrow night. Are you going?”

“No. Parties aren't really something I enjoy. I’m assuming it’s safe to assume you're going?”

You say giving Lily a small smile.

“Yeah. We're all going… you should come.”

You knew what she meant. Sirius and most likely Regulus were going to be there.

Over the week of working with her she would make little suggestions now and then about seeing or talking to your brothers without blatantly saying so.

You just shook your head looking down at the table.

“I'm okay, thank you for the invitation.”

“Okay well, I'm going to Hogsmeade on sunday. Usually no one comes with me since they're all hungover. Would you like to join me?”

You felt yourself stop breathing. You didn't know why you felt this way.

It was just Lily, but you've never spent time with Lily outside of an academic setting.

Was this for the project? Or were you supposed to hang out as friends? Or was it.. More?

Did you want it to be more?

Before you have the chance to answer or contemplate further, your conversation was interrupted.

“Oi, Black! Three blood traitors wasn’t enough for your line? You decided to become one yourself?”

Avery said, making Mulciber laugh.

You look up at them about to get up but Lily grabs and squeezes your hand telling you to let it go.

So you did.

“Aww isn't that cute? You’re shagging the Mud-blood now? Merlin your whole family is full of a bunch of fuckin’ poof-”

Before he can finish his sentence you have him on the ground holding his nose. You felt what some people would refer to as ‘The Black Family Madness’ cloud your mind.

You thought it was just pure fucking anger, but what did you know?

You look down at Avery while having your wand pointing at Mulciber to keep him where he is, not showing any emotion on your face.

“I could kill you, you know? I could kill both of you. Make it look like self defense. ‘Oh i was so scared they cornered me and I- I didn't know what to do. I was scared for my life'.”

You say the last part in a mocking tone you then crouch in front of Avery looking him dead in the eyes.

“No one would even blink if you two died. Did you know that? I won't do it though because I refuse to risk myself being thrown in Azkaban. Especially for the likes of you, do you know why? It’s simple really, both of your lives put together don't even measure up to mine alone in terms of importance.”

You stand up straight looking at both of them.

“Now you're going to apologize to Evans for caller her such a vile and disgusting name, and if you don’t I will have a letter send to my mother by the end of the night about how I walked in on you two shoving your tongues down each other's throats and how I ‘just don't know what to do!’ and then we can see how your fathers react to just the idea of having ‘poofs’ inside they're line.”

You give them a small smirk while Avery and Mulciber look at each other debating if they're willing to have a rumor like that go around especially since it was a lie.

“And if you think my mother won't believe me. I reassure you, she will. Why would I lie? It wouldn’t benefit me as far as she's concerned and I am as close to a ‘perfect’ child as she'll ever get and if it comes out that the two of you might be shagging then the dirty looks get taken off The Black Family’ and move to The Mulcibers’ and The Averys’. So let's play this one smart boys.”

That seemed to convince Avery enough that he stands up and looks at Lily and forces out an ‘I’m sorry.’

Mulciber is a little more hesitant. You send a Stinging Jinx Mulcibers way, he falls to his knees with a small hiss and looks at Lily.

“I'm sorry Evans, really really sorry.”

Mulcibers cried out

“Now. You're both going to leave Evans alone. You are going to keep her name and both of my brothers' names out of your mouths. Am I understood?”

You say with no emotion on your face once again.

They both let out quiet ‘yes’s’ while scrambling to leave.

After the ‘Madness’ had cleared from your mind it hit you what you did. You didn't feel bad about what you did but you realize you did it all in front of Lily.

You don't even look at her as you start to gather your things.

“I’m sorry Evans, really. I-I should go.”

You ramble out while trying to walk away. Lily grabs your arm stopping you in your tracks.

“I won't lie and say I agree with what you did, but I don't blame you. I also appreciate you standing up for me. I'm not mad or scared of you Y/N.”

“I should have never done that in front of you. I'm sorry, really.”

“It's okay. I promise. Lets stop working tonight, yeah?”

You nod at Lily.

“Yeah. Okay”

“So about Hogsmeade?”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You were sitting by the entrance of Hogwarts looking down playing with the matching serpent ring that Regulus had got for you and him a few birthdays ago.

You've never taken it off.

You were just wearing some plain jeans and a jumper you had stolen from Sirius years ago. You find yourself wearing it when you think you might need moral support and you didn't know why but you felt a need to wear it today.

No matter how hurt you might be from your brothers leaving, you still loved them so much. You didn't necessarily blame them for leaving the house or the family, you just wish they were still with you.

You’re taken out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps coming your way.

You look up and forget how to breathe for a moment.

There she was. Lily fucking Evans walking towards you she was wearing a white long sleeve shirt and a plaid skirt it was so simple but she looked amazing.

Why are you feeling like this? Why does it feel like every time you're in her presents you feel like you can't breathe?

You've never felt this way before.

“Hey Y/N ready to go?”

“Yes.”

You felt like your words were stuck in your throat.

She was just so fucking beautiful.

You didn't talk much on your walk to Hogsmeade. You were too caught up in your head and Lily had noticed that.

“Are you okay Y/N?”

“Yes, I'm fine. How was your party last night?”

You asked, trying to change the subject. LIly knew what you were doing and she let you get away with it.

“It was actually a lot of fun. It would have been a lot more fun if you were there.”

Lily said, sending you a smile.

You just rolled your eyes playfully with a small smile of your own, letting Lily go on about the things that happened. She told you everything that had happened as if she didn't want you to feel left out. You didn't realize how much a little act like that could make your heart speed up a bit.

By the time you had gotten to Hogmaede Lily was laughing at a story about something her friend Marlenne had done, you were just smiling. Whether you were smiling at the story or at her laugh you didn't know and you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted to enjoy the time with her.

At some point Lily grabbed your hand holding it as you went through multiple shops, you tried not to pay too much attention to how her hand felt in yours. There were a few disagreements here and there when you insisted on paying for the things she wanted.

She in her words 'didn't want you to waste your money’ and you just responded with ‘it's not a waste if it's you.’

She finally stopped fighting you after you told her that you loved spending money on things you knew your mother and father wouldn't agree with. It was one of your little acts of rebellion. Which was true but a part of you also just wanted to spoil her.. But she didn't have to know that.

By the time you two had gotten back to the castle it was almost dark. You walked Lily to the Gryffindor tower still holding her hand.

“You know you could come in right? They want to see you.”

Lily said, squeezing your hand gently to reassure you.

Since the school year started and you wouldn't talk to Regulus he stopped coming down to the dungeons if he could help it, he started to stay in the Gryffindor tower. So other than the few classes you shared and the occasional glances across the great hall you haven't seen your twin in months.

It killed a part of you but you were still so angry and hurt.

“Me and you both know that's not a good idea.”

You said looking down. Lily was about to disagree when the portrait opened out walking James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and last but not least both of your brothers.

You could hear a pin drop in the corridor outside of the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius and Regulus stare at you without saying a word. No one moves, no one says anything.

You look back at Lily with your jaw clenched and drop her hand, putting your hands in your pockets. You didn't miss the hurt that flashes through her eyes but you didn't focus on it. You just had to get out of there.

“I'll see you later Evans, Yeah?”

You say to Lily mustering up a very small smile at her so she knew you were not upset with her.

You started to walk away not even acknowledging the presents of anyone else. You do your best to keep walking away ignore the sound of talking down the hall, trying your best to not spare your brothers another glance

You just weren't ready to talk to them and you didn't even know if they actually wanted to talk to you.

So you just continue walking to the dungeons

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The next day Lily rushed into potions class, saying how sorry she was and explaining that she didn't know that was going to happen. It was all just poor timing.

All you could do was smile at her and reassure her that you didn't blame her.

You knew she wouldn't do something like that to you,

As the days passed by getting closer to the middle of the week you and Lily continued to get closer. You both would still meet up after classes in the library to finish up your project, the project that you both knew you could have finished, days ago.

You were coming to expect that you possibly had feelings for the girl but you knew she most likely just saw you as a friend.

You both were packing up for the night, you had finally finished with your project with two days to spare. It was a bittersweet moment.

“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?”

You looked up confused but you had a spark of hope in your chest.

“Nothing, probably go to my dorm, read, sleep… Why?”

“I have rounds tonight till 8:30. Do you want to meet after?”

“Um.. Okay? Yes, I'd like that. Um where should we meet?”

Lily then gave you one of her breath taking smiles obviously excited that you agreed.

“I'll come get you after I'm down, just meet me in front of the dungeons around 9?”

“Okay, Yeah.”

You were caught off guard when Lily walked over to you and hugged you.

The only people to have hugged you were your brothers and even then it had been years. You didn't know what to do for a moment so after some hesitation you hugged her back.

You felt her relax into you for a moment. You could smell her perfume, Strawberries and vanilla.

You reluctantly pulled away after a moment. You could see a light blush on her face and you couldn't imagine that you were any better.

“I'll see you later Evans.”

You say giving Lily a small smile and walking away with your things in hand.

Once you left the library you all but ran to your dorm. Your thoughts consume you.

That was a friend hug right? It had to be. Lily was just nice like that. Are friend hugs supposed to last that long though? You wouldn't know you wouldn't ever let anyone you were friends with hug you.

So then why did you let Lily hug you?

Why did you want to do it again?

Before you knew it it was 8:55 and you were waiting in front of the dungouse. You were still over thinking the hug.

Why was something so simple as a hug throwing you off? It didn't make sense.

You continued to think while absentmindedly playing with your ring. You were so lost in thought that you didn't even notice Lily till she put her hand on yours, stopping you from fidgeting.

You look at her and smile slightly.

“Where exactly are we going Evans?”

You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Now why would I tell you that? Come on.”

Lily gave you a smirk and grabbed you hand leading you to wherever she was taking you. You couldn't help but blush at her holding your hand but you didn't pull away or protest it.

You let out a little chuckle when you finally realized where Lily was leading you.

“Really Evans? The astronomy tower? Seems a little cliché doesn’t it?”

You say with a teasing voice all Lily does is roll her eyes at you as you make it to the top of the tower.

When you get there you see that a few blankets and pillows are lying out.

You just blush again and Lily drags you over and has you sit with her in the pile of blankets and pillows.

“So why here?”

You ask leaning back on your hands.

“It’s just one of my favorite places. I like the stars.”

She says with a little shrug.

“Do you know about Cassiopeia?”

You ask, looking at her as she looks into the sky. Lily just shrugs and looks at you.

“Admittedly I’m not very good at astronomy. I would usually have… um Sirius do my work.”

Lily says looking scared that just mentioning your brother will have you running for the hills.

“Cassiopeia was the queen of Ethiopia; she was married to King Cepheus. One day she had angered Poseidon, she claimed that her and her daughter, Andromeda were more beautiful than the daughters of Nereus. So the sea nymphs, Nereids, asked Poseidon to send a monster to destroy King Cepheus's coast. To appease the monster, Cassiopeia and Cepheus chained Andromeda to a rock as a sacrifice, Perseus rescued Andromeda, but Poseidon still punished Cassiopeia, he took her and hung her in the heavens. Cassiopeia sits on her throne, but during part of the year, she appears upside down in the sky.”

Lily looks at you slightly shocked.

“How do you just know that?”

You chuckle and shake your head lightly.

“Evans, I’m a Black. It’s basically a requirement to know about the stars.”

“Okay fine, tell me about that one.”

She says point at a random constellation.

You tell her about every constellation or star she points at for a while, not noticing that the two of you have subconsciously been moving closer and closer. Eventually your shoulders are touching hands brushing against each other every so often.

“Okay how about that one?”

She pointed at one of the clusters of stars you hoped she wouldn’t have pointed out.

Then again it was bound to happen.

“Canis Major the ‘great dog’ it’s built around Sirius, the Dog Star, the brightest star in the sky.”

You say looking down, playing with the ring on your finger.

There’s a silence for a moment, it’s not awkward but not necessarily comfortable either.

“They miss you, you know?”

Lily says, looking at you.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

You say not looking at her at all.

A part of you knew you couldn’t look at her because if you did you’d tell her anything she wanted to know.

“They really do. Sirius and Regulus ask me how you're doing all the time Y/N.”

Lily says grabbing your hand to stop you from playing with your ring once again.

“Lily please.”

You say looking up at her.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat for a moment once you realize how close the two of you are.

You're so caught up in the moment, so captivated by the most beautiful pair of green eyes you've ever seen that you didn't even notice.

You didn't even notice that you called her Lily. Not Evans.

Just Lily.

“You know you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen?”

Lily says, staring at your eyes.

“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”

You said with a new found confidence. Lily looks down at your lips for a moment and then you both start to lean in slowly.

“Ooooo naughty naughty.”

You both jump at the sound of the most annoying Poltergeist known to man.

After a few minutes of Lily somehow convincing Peeves to not tell on us for being there. You found yourself walking Lily to the Gryffindor common room hand in hand for the second time in a week.

“I hope you had fun tonight, I’m sorry Peeves kinda ruined the night.”

Lily said, stopping in front of the entrance to her common room.

“It's not your fault. You didn't know he would be there. I still had a good time.”

She just smiled at you, not letting go of your hand.

“I had a lot of fun too.”

You desperately didn't want the night to end but you didn't know how to express that. You weren't blind you could tell Lily most likely had some kind of feelings for you. There was just a part of you that was still so scared of being rejected or left.

“It's getting late so we should go to bed.”

You say ruining your thumb over her knuckles.

“What if I said I didn't want to go to bed yet?”

Lily said, stepping closer to you.

You just smile and let out a little sigh looking her in the eyes.

“I would then say that as much as I don't want this night to end, we've already been caught once and it's late, we have class tomorrow and I wouldn't want to see you tired… though under different circumstances I would love to see you tired.”

You say to her while smirking at her with confidence that you didn't know you had.

Lily just looks at you speechless blushing more than you think you've ever seen her before. You then dare to kiss her cheek softly.

“Goodnight, Lily.”

You whisper while sending a small smile towards her, not waiting for a response you start to walk away.

This had been one of the best nights of your life.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Even though you had finished your projects you and Lily found yourselves still meeting in the library after classes leading up to break.

You both had been more affectionate in your own ways, Lily had started bringing you little snacks and water because she thought you didn't eat enough or drink enough water.

You were just constantly holding her hand or hugging her when you got the chance. It didn't go farther than that physically but you two started shamelessly flirting more often.

Finally it was the day before everyone would leave for christmas break you had just turned in your project to Slughorn.

You were gathering your things to leave for the next class when you were hit with an idea.

“Lily, do you want to.. Maybe hang out tonight?”

You asked nervously while a faint blush took over your face. You don't know why you're so nervous. You had hung out with Lily so many times at this point, it should feel normal.

She smiled at you and nodded.

“Yeah. I'd like that.”

“Okay. meet me at the astronomy tower. Around 8?”

“Really Y/N the astronomy tower? How cliché.”

Lily says in a teasing tone.

“Hahaha, just meet me there okay?”

You gave Lily’s hand a little squeeze, sending her a smile.

After classes that day you got together a little picnic basket of all the candies and food that Lily had told you she liked at one point or another.

You had gone and set everything up so you went back to your dorm to change into your favorite outfit. Finally it was time to meet Lily you found her eventually and smiled at how beautiful she looked.

“So where are we going?”

Lily asked as you walked up to her.

“Wouldn't you like to know?”

You say sending her a small smirk as she rolled her eyes.

“Yes I actually would.”

“You'll find out soon, calm down.”

You say grabbing her hand and leading her up to the third floor of the astronomy tower, you then let go of Lily’s hand walking in front of the blank wall while Lily looks at you curiously.

Soon the door for the Room of Requirements appears and the look Lily gives you is priceless.

“Is this the Room of Requirement?”

You nod while opening the door for her.

“Yeah. I found it in my third year. It's my own little part of the school, where no one can bother me unless I let them. You're the first person I've brought here.”

The room is full of books and a big fireplace with large comfy couches and a record player with all your favorite records next to it.

Next to the fireplace is the little picnic you had set up. Lily lets out a soft gasp as she sees the set up.

You both sit down and look at each other for a while. It's a soft moment, it feels like you both just needed to take each other in for a moment.

“So it's your last christmas here. Are you going home?”

You ask, taking a bite of a chocolate wand after.

“No. We all decided to stay here for our last christmas. Are you staying?”

“Yes. I'd rather spend Christmas in the dungeons then go back to Grimmauld Place.”

You say shaking your head with a sigh.

“Y/N, I know you try to avoid talking about this but just hear me out and if you don't want to talk about it after, I will leave it be, okay?”

You sigh already knowing where this conversation is going but you decided to hear Lily out anyway. You nod your head letting her know that she can continue.

“You said it yourself. This is mine and Sirius’s last Christmas at Hogwart. This is probably the last chance the three of you have to spend a Christmas together. They miss you Y/N, honestly they do. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore because I'm a witch and I miss her everyday. I don't want to see you go through that. I don't want you to regret not seeing your brother when you had the chance.”

You take a moment to think about it. You already knew if you didnt make up with them soon you'd regret it. Hell you already regretted it.

You remembered how heartbroken Narcissa was when she found out that Andromeda had a baby. Narcissa knew she would never be able to meet her niece. You didn't want that. You didn't want your brothers to have families and you not be involved. You knew that if you didnt get over this pettiness that there was a large possibility that that was exactly the path you were heading down.

“Okay. when everyone leaves tomorrow. I'll see them.”

“Really?”

“Yeah Lils. You're right after all. I don't want to not be a part of my brothers’ lives.”

Lily just gives you a hug whispering how proud of you she was.

Lily understood how hard this was for you. She knew you were hurt even if you never flat out said it to her.But it was time for you to get over it before you lost the only family you ever really cared for.

You and Lily spend the rest of the night talking and laughing. For a moment you forget the anxiety that will consume you tomorrow.

You'll be fine. As long as you have Lily by your side you know you'll be fine.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You waited at the entrance of the Gryffindor common room anxiously playing with the ring on your finger.

Why did you agree to this? Were you really ready to face your brothers? What if they hated you? What if they wanted nothing to do with you?

You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't even notice your favorite red head till she touched your hands stopping you fidgeting with your ring one again.

You looked up at her, the anxiety obvious on your face.

“They want to see you. I promise.”

She gives you a comforting smile keeping her hand on yours.

“What if I fuck this up? What if I lose them for good?”

You feel the burning behind your eyes trying not to cry.

“They love you so much Y/N. All you have to do is try.”

You nod, keeping Lily’s hand in yours letting her lead you into the portrait of Elizabeth Spriggs aka ‘The Fat Lady’.

Once you walk into the common room you notice it seems uncharacteristically quiet.

You look and see two matching sets of gray eyes looking at you. You take a deep breath still trying to hold back the tears.

It's been close to a year since you talked to Sirius, quite a few months since you talked to Regulus.

“Sirius, Regulus.”

You say in a neutral voice not making eye contact with either of them.

There's a moment of silence and stillness, a part of you considers running out of the room but before you can act on that though you're being tackled into a hug by your eldest brother. You couldn't help but let a few tears fall as you hold Sirius and you can tell he's crying just the same.

Sirius cups your face with both of hands after a few moments to look at you with tears streaming down his face.

“I'm never letting you go again, you hear? I'm not losing my baby sister again.”

You let out a little sob and hug Sirius again putting your head on his chest.

“Sirius, Y/N why don't we go somewhere with a smaller audience.”

Regulus said in all his stoic glory.

“Yeah. Regs right. We'll go to my room, alright?”

You give a small nod to Sirius then leads you to his shared dorm room while Regulus follows behind.

You honestly didn't even notice the other people in the room until Regulus said something.

It wasn't many people, it was just ‘The Marauders’ as they call themselves and Lily but Regulus knew you would be more comfortable with just you three and you knew Regulus felt the same.

Once you get to Sirius room you look at Regulus for the first time in months.

“I’m sorry Regulus. I really am.”

You say trying to hold tears back once again.

“You ignored me. You ignored me for months Y/N.”

You look down ashamed playing with your ring once more.

“I know Regulus and if I could go back I would but I can’t. I was just hurt. Sirius left and that hurt so fucking much but at least I had you. Then you left, and I understand why you did but then I was just by myself. It nearly killed me to be alone with mother and father.”

You said taking a deep breath.

“I told you to come with me. Why didn’t you come?”

Regulus said with so much hurt in his voice it felt like someone ripped your heart out.

“I was afraid. I was afraid that I was too much like them. That if I would have gone, I would have tainted whatever good you made for yourselves.”

“You are nothing like them. Neither of you are. I made sure of that. Y/N if you were like them you wouldn’t be friends with Lily and Regulus if you were you would have never reached out for help.”

Sirius says while holding you against him once again.

“I really am sorry Reg.”

You look up at regulus with your tear stained face.

Regulus’s eyes softened and before you knew it, Regulus had taken you from Sirius arms and hugged you tighter than you had ever been hugged before but you didn’t mind.

You both cried into each other's arms for the first time in years.

Sirius hugged both of you and for a moment you just sat there in your brother's arms enjoying every second of it.

“So, you and Lily huh?”

Sirius says in a teasing voice. You pushed him away and glared at him.

“Shut up.”

You say with a slight pout. Regulus and Sirius just give each other a knowing look as you roll your eyes and scoff.

“I hate you both. Did you know that?”

“Nah, you love us too much baby sister.”

Sirius says ruffling your hair as you swat his hands away.

“Wait. Is that my jumper?”

“… No. You’re crazy. The Black Family Madness is catching up with you Siri.”

Sirius and you start to argue as if no time had passed. Regulus just smiles at you two feeling grateful to have this back.

You spend the rest of the break with your brothers mostly but also with the marauders and Lily.

You got to know them all.

You took a liking to Remus quickly bonding over your favorite books.

You and Peter got along well enough playing chess together often, since he would insist on rematches because you would continuously beat him.

James admittedly was harder not that you didn’t like him but a part of you had blamed him for Sirius leaving for so long that it was hard to get past that and it showed. It wasn't until christmas eve when James had pulled you aside for a moment when you felt yourself grow comfortable with him.

“You know, you don't have to go back there right?”

“What do you mean Potter?”

You looked at him with raised eyebrows as he sat next to you on the couch you were now occupying.

“You don't have to go back to Grimmauld Place. You could be with your brothers again, I already wrote mum and dad. They said they'd be more than happy to have another Black join the Potters. I mean what's another one, yeah?”

James said with a small smile, lightly bumping your shoulder with his.

“Are you sure? I don't-”

“Yes. I know. You don't want to over step or be a burden and I know you don't think you deserve it, but you do. Merlin's beard, you and your brother are just the same. I will never understand the treatment your parents put the three of you through. But what I do know is that you three deserve good things in your lives. You deserve so much more than what your parents put you through. You are worth so much more than what they made you believe you were. You deserve to be loved, to be safe and to be happy. Y/N you will always have a home with us, plus… I've always wanted a little sister.”

You didn't say anything, you just hugged James and nodded your head.

Off to the side watching the interaction between you and James was your brothers, for the first time in years Regulus and Sirius knew the three of you would be safe and they couldn't be happier.

They liked seeing you interact with the people that they’ve grown close with and getting to see you actually happy every so often was just a bounce.

But your brothers weren’t the only ones who liked it.

Lily loved seeing you interact with all of them.

You seemed so alive.

She’d never seen you act like that with anyone but her. She loved seeing you smile and laugh. She loved seeing you and your brothers truly happy.

This was her favorite Christmas so far.

You had made it her favorite Christmas.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You felt better than you had in months, no, years.

You had your brothers back and for the first time in years. The three of you were getting along and you knew you would finally be safe.

You also knew it was because of Lily as well.

She was the fire in your darkness, she gave you light, warmth and she felt so happy and safe.

Everything felt good for once. But if you knew anything, you knew that wasn't going to last.

“You don't actually think she loves you do you?”

You turn to see none other than Severus Snape leaning by the entrance to the dungeons. You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly.

You don't really talk to Snape unless it was necessary you never really liked him or the company he kept in recent years. So for him to start any conversion with you was rare.

“What are you on about Snape?”

“Lily.”

He states as if it's obvious.

“What about Lily?”

Your interest obviously peaked at hearing the name of your favorite Gryffindor.

“She'll never love you. She loves Potter.”

He says in a monotone voice. You scoff rolling your eyes.

“I don't know why I'm bothering with this nonsense.”

You turn to walk away muttering to yourself.

“She and Potter kissed, you know. The other week, at a Hufflepuff party. I saw them. Potter has been pining for Lily since our first year. It seems he finally got what he was after.”

You stood there shocked, confused, frozen with your jaw now clenched.

That couldn't be true. Lily wouldn't do that and if she did she'd tell you right? I mean you were… whatever you are, right?

And James wouldn't do that. He had all but flat out asked you to be his sister.

Snape was lying, he had to be. He was spreading lies about Lily. He just had to be. You wouldn't stand for that. You felt ‘The Madness’ creep in once again.

In one swift motion you had Snape pinned against the wall with your wand pointed at his neck.

“You will not speak of Lily again. You will not look at her, speak to her. You will not breathe the same air as her and if you do. I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?”

You say with murderous eyes.

Snape would never admit it but he was scared. He's only ever seen you as cold, emotionless. This was far from emotionless.

“Crystal.”

Snape said, trying to hide his emotions as best as he could.

You walk away without another glance stuck in your head.

He had to be lying right? But why would he lie? Nothing made sense. Maybe he wasn't lying.

Stupid. You were so fucking stupid.

How could you think someone like Lily Evans would like someone like you.

Lily brings life to everything she touches, she was sweet, caring, kind she was fucking perfect.

You were a Black, enough said.

You were angry, mean, rude, it was in your blood to ruin everything you touch.

It wasn't her fault that you thought you might actually have a chance, that you developed a stupid crush, it was your fault for being stupid enough to think that it was ever a possibility.

I mean maybe you and Lily were just friends. Maybe you misunderstood?

You couldn't blame her but that didn't mean it hurt less.

The first person you started putting your walls down for the first time in years obviously didn't care about you the way you cared for her.

So you did what you did best when people would hurt you.

You avoided and ignored her. You managed to avoid Lily for a few days skipping potions class, leaving the library when you would see her walk in.

Sirius was quickly getting irritated with your antics. He had been pestering you as to why you were avoiding Lily but you wouldn’t tell him or Regulus.

If they knew she would find out.

So you just kept avoiding her and avoiding answering any questions your brothers would ask.

Eventually she found you and tried to talk to you which led to you ignoring her. It killed you to see the look on her face but it was necessary to protect yourself. You tried to convince yourself that it would be easier after a week.

It wasn't.

For either of you apparently.

Lily had managed to find you in the library while you were looking for a book to distract yourself with. You had put your guard down for a moment. You didn't even know she was there till she spoke.

“Y/N.”

She had said to gain your attention, when you realized there wasn't anywhere for you to go you decided to just get it over with to stop avoiding your problems for the first time in your life.

You rolled your eyes and sighed looking at her for the first time in a week.

“What the hell do you want Evens? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend, Potter?”

You say to Lily in a monotone voice looking her in the eyes.

“What are you talking about? I'm not dating James, I don't want him!”

You felt all the anger and insecurity start to cloud your brain. She was lying. How dare she lie to you. You were damned if you were made a fool once again.

“You're such a liar Evans. Snape told me everything about how Potter has been pining for you for years! How he saw you two kiss at the Hufflepuff party! I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you'd actually like me. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think Potter would actually look at me as a sister.”

You whisper yelled with your jaw clenched while the back of your eyes burned trying to hold back tears.

“Me and James didn’t kiss I swear-”

You scoff, turning to walk away deciding you were done with this conversation, but Lily grabbed you by the arm, tapping you against the bookshelf.

“I didn't kiss James.He's a great friend but nothing more to me, and he does care for you, I know he does. But I don't want him, I want you. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I love everything about you. I love how loyal you are, how even if you didn’t talk to your brother you'd never let anyone speak ill of them. How despite being raised to hate someone like me you never held something as stupid as my blood statutes against me. I love how smart you are. How you cover your smile when you laugh. How your eyes light up when youre reading a book you enjoy. How when you get anxious you play with your ring. Everything. Can’t you see that?”

You searched her eyes trying to see if there was any lie, but all you saw was the truth. She meant every word and it scared you.

Lily then cupped your cheek wiping away a tear you didn't know was there.

“Why would you want me? I'm cold, rude, cynical and angry all the time. I'm not a great person...”

Lily scoffs playfully while smiling.

“You're no angel but you’re my everything Y/N. To me you light up the room, you don't take shit from anyone, you stand up for what you believe and I hope you'll never change. You showed me that I'm enough. I'll never stop wanting you. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

Lily whispers the last part brushing her nose against yours.

“What if I hurt you?”

You whisper your voice breaking a little.

“You'll probably hurt me a few times and I'll probably hurt you a few times but that's okay as long as we work it out together, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The anger and insecurity finally unclouding your brain letting you take in how close you two are.

Lily's hand is still cupping your cheek while her other hand is on your hip pressing you slightly in the bookshelf while she's pressed against you.

Lily's eyes flicker down to your lips and you nod softly letting her know it was okay.

You both lean in, your lips touching for the first time.

You felt warmth go through your whole body. It was beyond a spark or fireworks. It felt as if a bomb had been dropped on you.

That kiss broke something in you.

But it wasn't bad.

It had broken down every wall that you spent years building up brick by brick.

In just a moment Lily Evans had managed to do something to you, that you and so many other people thought impossible.

She healed a part of you.

Her lips were so soft they felt like silk against yours.

It felt like she was made to be with you.

It's soft and sweet, at first. Then it felt consuming. She was all around you and you didn't want it to be any other way.

You could only feel her, her hand squeezing your hip as your hand was on the back of her head pulling her closer.

You could only smell her cherry and vanilla perfume. It made you dizzy with how intoxicating it was.

You had forgotten that you were in public for a moment that was until you heard a throat clear.

Both of you pulling away with hot faces you look to see a very amused and smirking Remus Lupin.

“Finally. I was afraid neither of you would ever actually make a move. Just wait till Sirius hears about this.”

You groan, throwing your head back against the bookcase while Remus and Lily laugh at your expense.

You never expected for anyone to be able to break down your walls, to fall for someone.

Especially not someone like Lily.

But fuck were you happy that she did.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳

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cumikering · 4 hours

Text

Neighbour Ghost x reader 7

2.3k | angst, drinking irresponsibly If Simon could do it all again (part 1)

“You don’t look good, sir.” The sergeant stood at attention, looking straight into his lieutenant’s eyes.

Simon had to commend the balls of Kevlar required to walk right up to him to point the fact out unprompted, but that was why he liked Sgt. Eric Jefferies the most. You had no time to waste when you raced with death on the regular - he would tell anyone they didn’t look good.

He knew he didn’t - it was the same bland face he had the pleasure to look at in the mirror each day. Annoyed, but not surprised by the darkening circles under his eyes, stark against his pale complexion. It didn’t help that he nicked himself in the jaw shaving that morning.

“Dining hall, sergeant,” he grunted.

“You’re barely eating, Riley,” Lt. Ramsay said, the same bloke who’d catch him sneaking back to his room. “You know you’re contributing to the food waste when you don’t ask for seconds, yeah?”

It was true, and the table chuckled, but Simon continued to shove whatever was on his plate into his mouth. It was enough to not starve.

“He never leaves his room anymore, not even on the weekends,” another lieutenant quipped, but was promptly elbowed by the officer next to him.

That, too, was true.

Simon had nowhere else to be, like how it always was before his mum came to Hereford. These days his flat was too empty and cold with the hole in his chest. He never came back after that night.

It wasn’t like he was thriving in his quarters either, but it was still a little better – at least it was untouched by you. Though his nights were dreamless at first, he kept waking, and waking until the dreams started.

It was a glitch in the universe, wasn’t it? That the memory that played in his mind to insanity was the last time he saw you, about crawling back to your door with limbs that didn’t feel like his, vision swaying with the lights, coming on and off, his heartbeat ringing in his head.

It’s not supposed to end this way… I want to try…

He sighed at another disturbed night. Tea would slow his mind. Instead, he found the box of Darjeeling you gifted him to take back to base. ‘So we can have the same tea over the phone,’ you’d said.

Was there a way to escape you, make you stop haunting? He needed an exorcism.

He put it back in his drawer. One day, it wouldn’t have to hurt anymore.

And the nightmares came back. It was once, then twice, and thrice a week of waking up in cold sweat in the dark.

Simon’s performance slipped. There was a reason sleep deprivation was a popular torture method. He requested sleeping medications - his career was the last thing he had and he wasn’t about to let it go. Any unrestful sleep interrupted by the vivid images his sickly mind conjured up was still better than no sleep at all.

Quitting you was impossible when the thoughts still followed. If pushing you away didn’t work, maybe basking in the memories would, even if it hurt more. Aching for your warmth, the scraps of it, he’d go anywhere you’d been to see your ghost. The pain was better than the void.

“You lads are volunteering at the soup kitchen this Saturday,” he announced to Sgt. Jefferies after hours.

“Saturday, sir?”

“It’s good for you. Reminds you why you’re doing all this.”

“Can’t tell me what to do,” he teased. “You’re not my L.T. on the weekends.”

Simon’s stare didn’t waver and the other bloke’s smile dropped.

“Copy, sir. I’ll tell the others.”

When the four burly SAS soldiers entered the kitchen, chatter and clanks stalled as all eyes turned to them.

“May… May I help you young lads?” one of the middle-aged ladies said.

Simon recognised her from his last visit, but he quickly realised this was a silly idea. He was out of place, knowing no one there.

He flashed half a smile. “Just wanted to give a hand. Got any lifting to do?”

The lieutenant and his sergeants hauled the food items to the kitchen, including the bread which he taught his sergeants to half and butter. They were offered to peel potatoes, but Simon decided it was wise to leave it to the pros instead.

People still avoided his gaze while his boys exchanged pleasantries with the other volunteers; Eric even got called handsome by the group of older ladies he impressed with his strength as he hefted the sack of potatoes. While the night was as pleasant, it wasn’t the same if you weren’t there to hold his hand and laugh at his jokes.

When the boys invited Simon to the pub at the end of the night, he said no. He thought he was ready, but even after weeks, coming back to his flat was just as sickening.

The silence pierced. Despite all the lights flicked on, the place made his skin crawl, the space too vast and empty. But he didn’t become a lieutenant from succumbing to his emotions.

As he lay in bed, he recalled that you too slept there once. That the mattress once dipped with the gentle weight of you, but unlike the bed that bounced back, you’d left a lasting imprint that disfigured his soul.

Simon wondered what you were up to, if you knew he was there drowning, miserable in his cold room. He couldn’t decide if he preferred your door to be closer or further: closer so he could catch a glimpse of you without meaning to, or further so he wouldn’t be so tempted to go over and get on his knees.

You said begging only reduced you to nothing, but for you, he’d beg and beg. There wasn’t much to lose when he wasn’t much to begin with. He was a stray for a reason.

He tossed and turned, and was granted a wink of sleep before the same bloody dream flashed in his mind.

I don’t care how hard it gets…

He sat up, feet thudding on the floor as he rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. It was always that one moment, like a broken record. Why couldn’t it be you on a night out, or kissing you on the kitchen counter, or simply, you smiling? It was a curse. If only the heart could follow where one’s feet went.

With no plans on coming here, his sleeping pills lay on his desk at base. He looked through the cabinets to distract himself, finding various bottles of dusty, unopened spirits he was gifted. They weren’t his cup of tea.

So he packed, to get his mind off you, from spiralling and digging a deeper grave for itself.

It was time for a change. With the accommodation he was provided, he never needed to rent, but he did anyway in case his mum ever needed the place. It was a good call he did, but with the divorce on the way, keeping it was pointless. He’d rather spend the extra money on his mum and nephew.

Yes, he came to remember- not to forget, but you wouldn’t leave, would you? In the dead of night, when he pulled the hoodie he’d forgotten about out of his wardrobe, he decided he’d had enough of his bloody flat and drove back to base.

He still had another weekend to before his next deployment, a two-month mission. He’d finish packing then.

“You’re right, sir, it feels good volunteering.” Eric grinned at his lieutenant. “We’re going again tomorrow. Also one of the ladies is introducing her daughter to Sam. See you there then?”

Never again. “Dining hall, sergeant.”

Simon was a fool for not finishing his lunch sooner and bolting, instead lingering for the announcement. With how atrocious he did on his tests, he must have been beyond high to still hope for a miracle, that despite everything, he still had a chance at a promotion.

He didn’t make to the top 3.

Amidst the wishes from the table, Lt. Ramsay’s turned to him. His grateful smile faltered.

Simon’s fists clenched. It was supposed to be him, his. But who was he to be mad. It was the fruit of his incompetence. He knew this was coming. Things were going to shit. The unforgiving truth was staring right at him mercilessly: he had nothing else.

He left for his office.

“Sir, sir!” Sgt. Jefferies called. “We’re heading to the pub tonight. Come with us.”

He gritted his teeth. Word travelled too fast.

“Let’s get out of the base for a bit,” he continued when he caught up to his long strides. “It’s the last weekend before we ship out.”

Simon eyed the display of vibrant bottles behind the bar as he listened to his sergeants’ orders, the names foreign to him. Above, the telly showed a rugby match rerun no one paid attention to.

“Jefferies, how much you reckon it takes me to get pissed?”

He chuckled. “You, sir? At least 10,” he said before taking a swig of his beer.

“Nah, 15 sounds more like it.” Richie, the designated driver for the evening piped up.

Sam downed his first two shots, hissing as he slammed the glasses on the bar. “Agreed. Do you know how much he lifts?” He nodded at Simon’s biceps, bulging under his loose black shirt.

It was a genuine question. Simon didn’t want to get pissed, he only wanted to forget. He didn’t mean to go over his limit he had no idea was at seven.

Drunk Simon was a weeping, blabbering mess. It didn’t help that he was massive, because his sergeants had trouble getting him to the car before Richie drove him to the address of his flat he barely managed to gurgle out before passing out.

“Sir, you’re paying for the bloody cleaning if you get sick in my car!”

Why did he think this was a good idea? He was never a drinker, barely even touched alcohol socially. It was the poison that turned his dad into a demon, and it too became his downfall. The only thing he thought he would always have – his resolve, let him down too. He’d lost you, his mum whom he was supposed to protect, his future, and now his dignity.

Desperation was a lethal sentiment.

And that dream came again, that he stumbled to your door. Legs wobbly, his vision in and out as the world spun in slow motion.

“Luv… Luv, it’s not supposed to end like this,” he slurred, the same line he always opened with.

A marionette, a prisoner in his own head, it was a loop he couldn’t escape. The awful show had to commence to end the same way each time.

“I’m sick of losing and I wouldn’t know what to do when you leave, after how much you’ve given. Instead, I left when you needed me. I should have been there for you, gone through all this with you, no matter how hard it got.

“If you would give me a chance, I’ll quit the SAS. I’d start all over again. I’ll butcher the carrots and apples with the bloody peeler, I’ll let the steakhouse mess up our reservation and eat a dozen soapy tacos… If you ever show up at my door with your pie again, I swear I’d kiss you, not scare you. And I’ll never let go. If it has to hurt, I want it to be you.”

The door clicked open, and like how it always went, it meant the dream was coming to an end.

“You make it worth it,” he muttered as his vision faded.

…

Simon gasped for air, this time staring up at blinding lights. He shielded his wet eyes from it, chuckling to himself.

“Bloody hell, I think I’m sick on the inside.”

“Only your past, but you are not your past.” Your voice echoed in the distance.

His body was too heavy to move. “Could you forgive me, for all of this?”

“Could you? You need to forgive more than you need to be forgiven.”

He laughed as another tear slipped.

Simon woke on his couch, still in his clothes from the night before. Dreaming of you always drained him, leaving him hollow and out of touch with his body.

He sat up with a groan, rubbing his face as the dizziness settled. He didn’t remember much after getting dragged to Richie’s car. Judging by the gnarly bruise on his arm, he probably fell last night, but he was glad he found his way back to his flat in one piece.

Stumbling to the shower, he hissed when his toe stubbed one of the boxes on the floor. It was a horrendous decision to drink so much, still having to pack the rest of his stuff. He leaned over the sink, staring at his bloodshot eyes.

His sergeant was right. He didn’t look good. He never did. What the fuck are you doing to yourself, Riley?

With his hair damp, he made his way to the kitchen. As he realised he’d packed all his tea stash in one of the bloody boxes, a series of knocks echoed in his flat.

He grumbled. It better be important for someone to disturb his peace, especially with the pounding of his head. He couldn’t be bothered putting a shirt on before he swung the door open.

It was you, a pie in hand like the first time he met you all those months ago.

“Hi, is Simon in?”

His heart lurched as he crushed you in a hug.

“Thought you said you were going to kiss me.”

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