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justawritterwithideas · 1 year

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Boy Wonder and the Rockstar | s.r

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summary: The BAU rushes to Washington after discovering that the lead singer of a famous band may be in danger, causing Spencer to come face to face with his past after 15 years.

general warnings: this series contains topics such as mentions of death, alcohol, drugs, strong vocabulary, as well as talk of heartbreak, disappointment and arguments. It also contains content regarding CM season 13, so it clearly contains spoilers.

chapter warnings: this chapter contains mentions of murder, vomiting, mistreatment, as well as the use of strong vocabulary. this is a spencer reid x famous!reader story.

words: 4,269 words.

a/n: hello! here i come with the second chapter of "boy wonder and the rockstar", i had fun writing this chapter as i also suffered from lack of creativity ( T T ), but finally inspiration touched me. I hope you like it. Remember to read the chapter cautions and have a good read.! English is not first language, so I may have mistakes, if so, I'm sorry. :(

𝟎.𝟐: 𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫.

For many people, memories that are related to times in their lives relate to certain aspects of the five senses, whether it's certain sounds or textures, music that brings them back to that exact memory, or simply tastes of foods that remind them of what their loved ones used to make.

For Spencer, it was smells.

Despite possessing a memory that makes him remember even the smallest detail of what happened the day before, his olfactory memory was much more developed than other senses.

During his childhood, or what he considers childhood, his memories smelled of the pages of old books that his mother read to him and her perfume, impregnated in the bed sheets when they sat together to read some classic of literature. When he was in his youth, sometimes the smells reminded him of the charcoal in his pencil, writing mathematical exercises on white sheets, or sometimes the smell of chlorine, because of the thousand times bullies forced him to go to the bathroom.

But during his college days, he always thought that the smell that would be his favorite was the soft smell of the library, of wood and humidity; but no, those memories had the smell of freshly brewed coffee, cherries and menthol cigarettes.

His good memories always brought smiles to his face in the middle of nowhere, as if he was remembering one of those old bad jokes they used to tell him and he couldn't find the humor in them, or maybe the less thought out answers to such logical questions. His good memories caused his stomach to clench tightly and his chest to feel heavy, as if a stone was replacing his heart.

Spencer knew why. Why his body felt that way.

But he didn't want to admit why.

Because if he admitted it, he knew the only reason he did would make him regret it, he would have to give reason to his sentimental side than the rational side.

And he hated not being right.

"Spence."

J.J.'s voice brought the boy back to his desk, taking his eyes off the nearly iced coffee with a pound of sugar to keep him awake.

He'd been daydreaming about Y/N's laughter in his ear for nights now, just like when they had sleepovers at her apartment. He couldn't get her out of his head, let alone get the smell out of her hair when she was the small spoon.

"What, what's going on?" the opposite replied, looking at the blonde. She seemed to be trying to decipher what was going on in her friend's head.

"I'm asking you, is something wrong, are you sleeping well?"

"Yes." Bullshit.

"Are you sure? Your eyes say otherwise." The black circles under his eyes gave him away.

"I've been sleepless for a few days, but it's because my neighbors won't let me sleep." Another bullshit.

"You should talk to them, you know." The boy nodded, giving the blonde an elongated smile and returning to his paperwork.

"Really all right?"

"Yeah, J.J. It's fine."

"'S okay, you know what you can tell me."

"Yes J.J., thank you."

The answer didn't leave the blonde satisfied, but she made an extraordinary effort to ignore his attitude and return to the desk with Luke and Matt, who had been staring at him for a couple of minutes.

"He's rambling again." Commented J.J as she returned, who kept her eyes on her best friend and tried to figure out what was wrong with him.

It was usual at this time of year, when the leaves were beginning to turn their last summer colors, that Spencer would go blank staring at a spot in the room more than once.

No one quite understood why that happened to him, the only one who knew was Gideon. But he never shared any of Spencer's secrets, not even if a gun was held to his chest.

"Guess whateee, my dear friends!" The conversation was interrupted by a cheerful and enthusiastic Penelope, who commanded everyone's attention with her sonorous voice.

"What's going on, Garcia?" Luke turned to see her, who was coming with an envelope in her hand.

"Your genius did it again, rub the wishing lamp and I got tickets to the best concert of the year - Paradox in Virginia! Can you believe it?"

"You got them!?" J.J. was the first to startle, coming closer to see the tickets for the most anticipated concert of the year.

"That's right, my dear friend! A girls' night out to see Paradox. You, me, Emily and Tara."

"No way, god. I'll talk to Will and rest assured I'll be ready for that night." J.J smiled hugging her friend's arm.

"What's Paradox...?" muttered Luke, causing Matt to turn to look at him. The poor Luke was trying to comprehend what his friends were talking about.

Was he too out of date on pop culture or were they speaking in some kind of secret code?

"Oh Luke, why did you ask that?" Matt shook his head, earning a glare from the blonde couple.

"What did you say, newbie, don't you know what Paradox is? Oh god, no way. I'll have to bring you up to date with a course on what today's music is right now, follow me." Penelope motioned to the boy, who turned to see Matt who was lifting his shoulders laughing.

"No Penelope, you're not going anywhere. We have a case, and it's urgent. There's no time, meeting room now."

The rest of the people turned to look at each other, abiding by their boss's orders as they saw her so anxious and serious about a case.

That didn't look good at all.

The adrenaline and euphoria of last night's show, plus the last two dates, had been enough of a stimulant for Y/N to fall asleep in bed once they arrived at the hotel. Her whole body was exhausted, and at that moment all she wanted was some chamomile tea and a thousand hours of sleep.

She loved her job, of course she did! But she was mentally and physically exhausted from giving almost 15 concerts without a break, from one state to another, with more cups of coffee and energizers in her body than times where her eyes closed to sleep.

And the only time she found peace and quiet was when her body was being moved from one location to another, so, at that moment, her body was resting in the comfortable seat of the SUV after being driven to an interview and returned to the hotel to rest.

She felt her limbs meld with the seat, feeling like she was in heaven itself where her muscles all over her body were relaxing after days.

Her peace didn't last long when she heard a soft call.

"Psss, Y/N."

The, now, blonde heard the call from Felix, also known as the band's drummer and her best friend.

"What? You ruin my beauty nap."

"What did one wall say to the other?"

Y/N could hang him right then and there.

More the tiredness in her body made her think, trying to devise the best answer to get him to leave her alone.

"What?"

"I'll meet you at the corner."

"I'm having the biggest self-control to not kill you because you just interrupted the only moment of peace I've had these past three months, asshole."

"You haven't been able to sleep?"

Y/N denied with her eyes closed, desperate to get back to her attempt at sleep.

"Not a single moment, I woke up three times last night and that was the best attempt at sleep I've ever had."

"Your pills aren't working?"

"They're placebos, they won't make my body calm down just like that and go back to my eight hour sleep cycle that I'd had for the last two years without touring." The young woman opened one eye, looking at her friend. "I just have to get used to it, I have to get back to the cycle of excitement I used to have when it was tour after tour."

"Maybe if we talk about that thing that bothers you-"

"No way."

Y/N knew what he meant, knew it was talking about a certain doctor who gave her goosebumps every time she thought about him and took her back to her college days.

Why was she still thinking about him? It had been almost 15 years since they last spoke.

Y/N looked at the date on her phone.

No, she was wrong.

It had been 15 years since they last spoke.

Today was 15 years since she had received the last letter from Spencer with her name written on it.

The last time she felt the smell of his perfume on the sheets and his ugly doctor's handwriting on a sheet of paper.

The last time she saw written "wherever you are, whatever you do or whoever you are with, you are always on my mind and in my heart, Y/N."

Last time she saw written "Love from Quantico, dr. Spencer Reid. I'm also known as your #1 fan, but only you know that."

Was that the reason she hadn't slept well that night? Yes.

Was that the reason she hadn't slept well for that last week? Yes.

Was that the reason why, every time she closed her eyes, she saw him smile? Yes.

Was she going to admit it? No.

Never.

"Y/N..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Felix. Don't insist."

"But, Y/N-"

"Let it go, Felix. Really, don't insist." Tyler's voice made Felix turn to look at him angrily.

Tyler and Shawn, the guitarist and bassist respectively, shook their heads and made an "X" symbol with their fingers, muttering at the same time "don't do it, don't be stupid."

"Enough kids, let it go. In two days we have a very important concert to give in Seattle, so I don't want any fights."

"You heard him, Felix." Y/N smiled opening her eyes, looking in the direction of Gerald, her manager.

Thank you, Y/N murmured in the man's direction.

Gerald just raised his shoulders, noticing how the van parked.

"Okay, down."

Tyler and Shawn were the first to get out, followed by Y/N and then Felix.

Felix hated to come off as meddling in Y/N's life, so whenever he meddled too much in the girl's life, he simply knew that seeking forgiveness from her was his best option.

"Sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to insist."

"It's okay, Felix. I know you meant no harm, but I don't want to talk about it."

"And when will you?"

"I don't know, I guess when I'm ready."

"It's been 15 years, Y/N."

"I know, but I'm still not read-"

"Miss Autumn?"

Y/N turned to see the receptionist, who was holding a package.

"A package has arrived for you."

"Thank you, do you know who brought it?"

"No miss, I'm sorry."

"No worries, thanks again."

Y/N received it, walking to the elevator along with Felix after seeing how the package had a sticker on it that said "express delivery."

"What did you order, compulsive shopper?" Gerald turned to look at her, causing Y/N to deny in confusion.

"Nothing that I know of, I promise."

"Maybe it's a collaboration, Tiffany's already started putting the ads with your face all over it." Shawn smiled, elbowing the arm of the store's new ambassador.

"A gift for you to occupy at the next gig." Gerald replied, nodding softly as he looked down at his phone.

The box was small and covered in the typical plastic they place around it. Compact enough to drop a set of jewelry on behalf of the brand, but it seemed odd that it came directly and without warning.

The group made their way to the small meeting room where they had set up everything they needed, ready to hear the itinerary Gerald had prepared for them about their upcoming events.

Y/N's fingers went to open the package once it was placed on the table, watching as the "Tiffany & Co." logo on its little sky blue box.

"Okay guys, tomorrow you have rehearsal from noon until three in the afternoon, then you'll have an interview on a radio station near the sta-"

A beautiful gold ring with a navy blue gem in the middle was the first thing that caught the young woman's eye, perfect for the occasion. But it was heavier than usual.

"Then you can go eat and rest, we'll still have dress rehearsal, so you can get ready-"

A shout coming from Y/N deafened the group of people, causing them all to look in her direction.

Her skin was as white as paper, her eyes fixed on the box she had just opened and her face with an expression of pure terror from an experimental horror movie.

All eyes went in the direction of the box, which Y/N felt like everything she had eaten that morning was going to spew out of her mouth right then and there.

"Shit."

The beautiful ring encircled something.

A human finger.

A human finger that stained the bottom of the box.

A human finger that was accompanied by a note.

"I hope you enjoy my gift, my sweet star. I made it just for you, good luck at the concert."

"This morning at the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in Washington, the lead singer of the band Paradox received a package. Inside was a human finger with a ring on it." Emily was passing around the photographs that had been sent by the Washington police, it showed just what she had just described above. "According to the receptionist it was dropped off by someone from a package store. The police questioned him and he said it had arrived with yesterday's load of packages."

"From where?" Luke asked.

"They don't know, they collect packages from all over the country so they don't know where it came from. They're looking for the tracking code of the branch they sent it from."

"How grotesque, who would send such a thing to an artist like her?" Tara looked at Emily, who sighed.

"But what do we have to do with this case?" Rossi looked at his tablet, zooming in on the picture of the ring.

"The DNA results came back to find out whose finger it is." A photograph of a stranger appeared on the TV screen. "He is Bruno Colombo, an Italian artist and the owner of that finger. We just got word that his lifeless body was found in his art studio."

"He's Autumn's ex-fiancé." Penelope commented, surprised at all that was going on. "In 2016, he and Autumn got engaged after dating for two years, but after a few months it was discovered that the engagement ended after Autumn discovered him and an art gallery owner having sex in his studio. According to him he did it because he wanted to make an exhibition that would portray Autumn's true feelings, and this way he could see her feeling of anger and sadness. There are still people who idolize him for that."

"What a jerk." Matt muttered.

"And how come no one noticed his absence?"

" According to this, he was isolating himself when he was setting up exhibits so it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to suddenly disappear."

Spencer felt his heart pounding, why would he get like this over a clear case of a stalker obsessing over a music star?

It's not like he even knew her.

"Apparently, this relates to a series of related cases over ten years that the only common element is this band, Paradox. No one has ever linked them before as none of the modes of operation are the same, the only factor that unites them is the viciousness with which they are carried out and the band, of course." Emily sighed, showing the various faces and deaths that surrounded them.

"Race or religion has nothing to do with it, it seems neither does gender." Spencer commented, quickly reading each of the bodies found. "But it looks like they all had an encounter with the band or one of the members. From 2008 when the first body was found until now."

"The director asked us to take on this case, the level of this band is insane and it seems to be going against the vocalist, Autumn. They are currently on a world tour after two years of no activity, plus not much is known about her in general." Emily turned to look at Penelope. "Garcia, you're joining us on this trip. You serve us better back in Washington than you do here at Quantico. Reid and Lewis will go meet the M.E., the rest of us will go to the station and then we'll all go to the Queen Elizabeth Hotel, we'll meet the band and their manager." The whole group was surprised, especially Penelope who held a surprised expression. "Wheels up in 30."

Y/N always thought that the whole thing about having human parts shipped to you in a box was part of fiction. At best, news fiction.

But what she had just experienced was surreal.

Her body was shaking with a cup of tea in her hands, feeling her hands stinging around the cup.

"Who the fuck would send something like that to Y/N? No one we know is capable of doing anything to her, they would fuck up their careers if they were exposed like that." Tyler turned, annoyed, in the direction of Y/N. "Who did this to you, are you hiding something from us?"

"No, Tyler. I'm not hiding anything, why would I hide the fact that someone sent me a fucking human part on my name to a hotel in the middle of our comeback tour? You're blaming me for something, huh? Tell me to my fucking face, Tyler."

Y/N stood up in exasperation, letting the hot water spill onto the floor.

"I don't know, you tell me, Y/N. If you got sent a finger."

"Go straight to hell, Tyler. Right straight up." Commented the girl raising her middle finger.

"Enough! Both of you." Gerald's loud voice interrupted them, separating the band's strong personalities. "Right now we can't fight. They just sent a fucking human finger to Y/N, we can't get mad about that, we should be worried."

"Finally someone with sense." Y/N sat back down, setting the cup aside.

"What are they seeing so much of us, why aren't they doing anything? They should be looking for the person responsible." Felix got up walking towards the officers, being stopped by Shawn.

"Hey, they're doing the best they can. If we go in there and raise our voices, we're going to hinder the investigation, don't be a dickhead."

"Damn it, this can't be happening." Y/N stood up, starting to walk over to her purse to pull out a cigarette and place it between her teeth.

"You can't smoke in here, Y/N." Gerald's warning went in one ear to the girl and out the other, flicking her lighter. "Y/N."

"What, look at the shit we're in, I just got sent a fucking human finger from who-knows-who and you're asking me to keep my cool!? I can't! There's a crazy person out there sending me that shit with 'nice words'." The girl threw the lighter at who-knows-where, finding herself on the verge of an anxiety attack. "Don't fuck around and leave me alone to have a smoke, Gerald."

The group fell back into the same silence that surrounded them four hours ago, letting the cigarette smoke flood their nostrils.

They were desperate, they needed to get to the root of this.

Y/N knew it. Right now she was the eye of the hurricane, who that box and message were addressed to; the same person who had sent her that, had taken it upon himself to send her flowers and letters with the same nickname, "my sweet star."

At first she thought it was nice, of course it's nice when you get your favorite flowers along with letters of good cheer and best wishes, but it's not nice when you get a gift like today's.

But her attitude would get her nowhere, she was annoyed and exasperated, but they didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

"I'm sorry, but this is too much for me, I can't handle this alone and my attitude isn't helping anything. " Y/N commented, taking her eyes off her cigarette and looking at the people closest to her. "We should be in this together."

"I'm sorry, kid. I got upset that I couldn't help you, that you didn't know who sent you that." Tyler sighed, giving the girl a rueful smile.

"Don't worry about it, Ty. I'm really sorry, everyone."

The girl took another puff on her cigarette, letting the minty flavor cool her lungs.

"The FBI is here."

The announcement made everyone look at each other, taking their last breaths and letting Y/N finish what she was doing, the only thing keeping her sane at that moment.

"I'll see you downstairs, okay?" Felix left a kiss on the young woman's forehead, taking his leave to get on the elevator.

Y/N found herself alone in the room, again feeling disgust rise in her throat. She couldn't get the image of that package out of her mind, how was someone capable of writing those sweet words and sending something as grotesque as that.

The girl's hands gently stroked her cheeks, waking up and she shook her head. She would make one last stop to the bathroom before heading downstairs, so she could go more consciously for who-knows-what things would make her talk.

The BAU met up with a group of people who, thanks to the way Penelope was getting excited, could be sure it was Paradox.

All along the way, Spencer had listened to Garcia's theories and who it could have been. He loved listening to her talk, but his head was somewhere else, somewhere else but there.

Something inside him sensed something, something he wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe it was his thoughts of the past that had been running through him since morning.

"Agent Prentiss, I'm Gerald Murphy, the manager of Paradox." The man shook hands with the woman, who was looking over his shoulder at three people. "These are the members of the band: Tyler, Shawn and Felix."

The three let out a wave into the air, giving them a smile of sorts.

Spencer knew they weren't entirely happy they were there, he read it in their body language.

"I understand there are four of you in the band, here I see three." Emily looked directly into Gerald's eyes.

"Yeah, Autumn, the vocalist, is upstairs finishing something. But she's coming down now, right?" Felix nodded, watching the FBI agents.

Felix crossed glances with Spencer, feeling that familiar air from somewhere.

Spencer felt that familiar air too, but maybe he thought his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Please, let's go somewhere more private. That way we can talk more quietly."

Gerald motioned to the three men, who plunged inside the room, followed by everyone else.

The BAU settled down in front of the four people seated on the couches.

"If you like, we can wait for Miss Autumn." Emily glanced at the group, all of whom nodded.

"It's for the best, she's the most affected." Felix looked in the direction of Tyler and Shawn, who simply nodded in unison.

"You've never received anything like this before?" Luke directed his question at the group of people, causing Tyler to let out a sarcastic laugh.

"You think that's a normal thing to receive, a human finger? Please, be realistic."

"Tyler, shut up." Shawn motioned, slapping the young man's knee.

"That's a stupid question of his, since when is getting shit like that going to be normal?"

"Tyler!" Shawn gave him a stern look, turning his gaze back to Luke. "I'm sorry, we're touchy about this that just happened."

"My question was out of line, it's my fault." Luke admitted, turning to look at the rest.

"When is Autumn getting here?" Felix's question seemed to work magic, smelling her best friend's signature scent.

A strong smell of cherries and menthol tobacco made Spencer shake his head.

It wasn't time to remember Y/N, it wasn't time to focus on something like that.

It felt like his head was playing a joke on him, as if she was suddenly here. But the smell didn't go away, in fact, it intensified to the point that Spencer could feel his head hurting.

"Sorry I'm late."

Spencer felt his entire body freeze, as if he were turning into an ice cube.

The voice he thought he would never hear again.

The voice that escaped so much in his dreams.

He could hear it there, like an echo in his head.

His head turned, catching the figure that had just entered with some haste.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Autu-"

"Y/N."

The girl looked up, meeting Spencer's hazel eyes.

No way, Y/N thought.

Her heart stopped, as did the time around her.

Standing in front of her was a much older and mature Spencer Reid, but with that same lotion that made her dizzy.

The woman's mouth opened slightly, feeling the air in her lungs catch and no words came out of her mouth.

Her lip quivered, her pulse altered.

"Spencer."

Oh fate, how cruel did you have to be?

If you like it, don't forget to like and repost it.

a lot of love, alme. ❀

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencerreid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x famous!reader #criminal minds fanfiction #it's my first series #almeseries

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akindplace · 4 months

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2024:

Work on letting go of the guilt and shame related from situations you never had no control over;

You aren’t any more special than others, but the same applies to them, we are all equals. You’re no lesser than anyone, so remember this. If everyone is equal then you’re just as deserving of good things as everyone else is;

People are probably too busy with their lives to be judging you for the smallest details, but if they are overcritical to the point of humiliating you, they are the ones wrong, so try to avoid those types of people if you can;

Enjoy life with your loved ones. Find joy in the smallest of things;

Whenever life is hard, don’t restrict on things that bring you happiness. You need too add more of those things if it is possible. You don’t have to earn joy by working so hard. Those little happy moments build up. They allow you to take a break, and when you go back to trying to work on your issues, your mind will feel clearer, calmer. Don’t focus only on negativity when you need to remember that even though life is pushing you too hard, there are also good things out there, so you don’t give up.

Get into the habit of saying no when you need to, when you know that saying yes to certain things affects your health, when you’re already not doing well and have very low spoons;

Don’t give all you’ve got to people-please everyone;

Do the things you want to do, no matter how small, silly, or cringe. It’s not too late to have fun;

If it didn’t work out at first, please remember people get better at things by trial and error. Messing up is how you learn;

It’s not too late to dream. If you want to do something different with your life, but you don’t want to make a sudden change that could bring instability, try to take smaller steps to get there;

Give yourself grace. You’re still here and you’re still trying;

You don’t need to have it all figured out for the rest of your life;

Accept that there are things you don’t have control over;

Don’t compare yourself to others;

Reach out to people you like and who treat you well, instead of pursuing the ones who you just want to prove yourself to;

Please, eat and rest well;

Being imperfect is completely okay;

Don’t be so afraid of disappointing people that you stop living your life the way you wanted to;

Look at the clouds more often during the day. Look at the stars at night. There is beauty everywhere.

Carpe diem, everyone. Have a happy 2024 ✨🩵

#2024 #original writing #when I think about more things I’ll add more stuff to this post

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doumadono · 5 months

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emergency request

work has been stressful. i’m having panic attacks, and i’m dealing with a lot of disability related stuff on top of it. (in short: frequent episodes of not being able to move. at all.)

i don’t know if you write geto (didn’t see him on your masterlist), but if so, i would really appreciate a little geto x f!reader comfort fluff. if you’re not comfortable writing geto, i would happily accept aizawa.

thanks 🖤

A/N: I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been going through such a challenging time. Work-related stress, panic attacks, and dealing with disability-related matters must be incredibly tough. Take the time you need for self-care. You're stronger than you know, and I believe in your resilience ♥ If you ever want to talk or share more, I'm here for you. Take care of yourself, my dear! I genuinely hope this brief story brings you some comfort. Please be gentle with me - it's only my second time writing for him

JUJUTSU KAISEN EMERGENCY REQS

Geto was exceptionally perceptive, noticing subtle shifts in your mood long before you verbalized them.

He paid close attention to the nuances of your expressions, from the smallest furrow in your brow to the way your gaze shifted.

Initially, he observed in silence, not wanting to intrude but filing away mental notes about the patterns of your emotional landscape.

Geto became adept at distinguishing between your ordinary fluctuations and the more pronounced signs of emotional turmoil, honing in on the moments when you became increasingly weighed down.

He noticed the small details — how your laughter lost its genuine lilt or how your smile didn't quite reach your eyes during particularly trying times.

He was observant not only of the highs and lows but the nuances in between, recognizing the subtleties of emotions that might elude others.

Finally, one day, he asked, "You seem a bit distant lately. Anything you want to talk about?”

You tentatively shared glimpses of your struggles, allowing Geto to see the vulnerability you kept hidden from others. "It's just work stress, I guess. Been feeling overwhelmed…”

Geto pulled you into a reassuring hug. “I'm here, baby. Pour it out.”

The walls around your emotions started to crumble. “I've been having panic attacks, and it's affecting every part of my life. I'm just so… tired… emotionally exhausted, you know?”

He tenderly planted a series of gentle kisses on your forehead. "Don't fret, my dear. This too shall pass. All you have to do is be patient and show kindness to the wonderful soul of yours that I hold so dearly. Come, let me take care of you.”

The weight of the day pressed heavily on your shoulders as you stumbled into the shared apartment. The air felt thick with the residue of stress, and every step carried the burden of exhaustion. In a rare moment of vulnerability, the dam holding back the emotions broke, and you couldn't contain the torrent any longer.

Without warning, you began to scream, a raw and primal release of the pent-up frustrations and anxieties that had accumulated throughout the day. The sound echoed through the walls, a cathartic symphony of anguish. With each scream, you shed a layer of the burdens you had carried for far too long.

In a desperate frenzy, you tore your bag off your shoulders, the motion aggressive and unbridled. The bag hit the floor with a thud, a symbol of the weight you were shedding. Shoes were kicked off haphazardly, sent flying across the room like discarded remnants of a battle fought in the outside world.

Limping a step or two, you felt the physical toll of the day on your body. Each movement was a reminder of the struggles faced, a silent testimony to the challenges that seemed insurmountable. Despite the pain, you pressed on, driven by an unyielding need to find release.

Finally, on your knees, your body sank to the floor, and you hid your face in your hands. The sobs wracked your frame, the tears flowing freely as if breaking a dam of pent-up emotions. The vulnerability of the moment was palpable, an unguarded display of the toll that life had taken on your spirit.

The apartment walls absorbed the echoes of your cries, bearing witness to the raw authenticity of your emotional unraveling. In this private space, you allowed yourself to be unapologetically human, to let the facade crumble and reveal the vulnerabilities beneath.

Unbeknownst to you, Geto had been home the entire time, quietly observing the storm of emotions that unfolded. His footsteps had been soundless, allowing you the space to release the torrents of frustration that had built up throughout the day.

From the loyalty of a follower, the dynamic had shifted into a more intimate connection — the transformation from a dedicated supporter to a life partner. It had surprised you, leaving you in a state of perpetual awe at the evolution of your relationship. You marveled at Geto's keen intellect, appreciating the depth of his personality that went beyond the public facade. Yet, despite the admiration, there lingered a sense of bewilderment. You couldn't fathom what it was in you that had caused someone of his stature to fall for someone as seemingly ordinary as you.

The quiet rustle of Geto's kāṣāya garment marked his silent approach. As he entered the room, his discerning eyes took in the scene — your slumped figure on the floor, the remnants of emotional release scattered around.

With a subtle grace, Geto crouched beside you, his kāṣāya settling around him. His presence was a steady anchor in the midst of emotional turbulence. As he observed, the lines of concern etched onto his face betrayed a genuine worry for your well-being.

His thumb and index finger gently grasped your chin. There was a silent understanding in his touch — a recognition of shared struggles and vulnerabilities.

With a voice that held a calming resonance, he asked, "What's wrong, my love?" Geto's eyes searched yours, seeking the truth behind the storm of emotions that had unfolded.

Struggling against the strength of Geto's grasp on your chin, you attempted to avert your gaze from his keen, black irises. However, his hold was unyielding, preventing even the slightest movement. Your eyes, teary and vulnerable, met his unwavering gaze.

Tears welled up and spilled down your cheeks as the floodgates of emotion burst open yet again. With each sob, you began to share the burdens that had led to this emotional breaking point. The weight of work, the battles with disability, and the overwhelming stress poured out in words between shaky breaths. "I... I just can't handle it anymore," you admitted, voice choked with emotion. "Every day feels like a struggle, and I don't know how to keep going. Oh, I'm so so useless."

As you poured out your heart, a haunting self-doubt surfaced. Amidst the sobs, you confessed, "And... and I don't understand why you're with me. I'm not good enough for someone like you. You deserve someone stronger, someone who doesn't break down like this."

In the stillness that followed, Geto's gaze remained unwavering, his fingers maintaining their gentle yet firm hold. His expression held a mixture of understanding and compassion, the weight of your words acknowledged without judgment.

With a voice that resonated with sincerity, he responded, "Strength is not about never breaking down, little one. It's about finding the courage to rise again. And you, my dear, are stronger than you give yourself credit for."

His words, though simple, carried a profound reassurance. Geto's thumb wiped away a tear from your cheek, his touch a gentle acknowledgment of the vulnerability you had bared. "I chose you because of who you are," he affirmed, his voice a soothing presence amid the storm of emotions. "Your strength lies in your resilience, in the way you face challenges head-on. You don't have to be perfect; you just have to be yourself."

With your gaze locked onto Geto's unwavering eyes, lips slightly parted and tears streaming down your face, you continued to pour out the burdens that had weighed heavily on your heart. The sobs, though still present, became intertwined with the raw honesty of your words. "I feel like I'm drowning, Geto," you admitted, your voice shaky yet determined. "Work, my disability, everything... It's just too much. There are moments when I can't move, and it terrifies me. I don't know how to handle it." The vulnerability in your expression mirrored the openness of your heart. "I thought I could handle it all, but it's breaking me," you confessed. "I can't keep up this facade of strength. It's exhausting, and I'm tired, Geto. Tired of pretending I'm okay when I'm not."

Tears blurred your vision as you continued, "And there's this constant fear," you continued, your voice quivering. "That I'm not good enough for you. That you'll see through this facade and realize I'm just... not enough…"

Geto observed your tear-streaked face with a slight tilt of his head, his gaze unwavering. Geto slipped one of his strong arms under your knees and the other against your back. With seemingly effortless strength, he lifted you into his arms, cradling you with a tenderness.

Silently carrying you through the apartment, he navigated toward a hidden sanctuary — a winter garden tucked away at the back: a place that held significance, a haven of tranquility that had often brought you solace in times of need.

The door creaked open, revealing the serene winter garden adorned with delicate flora. The air was warm, and the ambient quietness seemed to amplify the intensity of the moment. Geto, still holding you securely in his arms, stepped into the sanctuary that he knew held a special place in your heart.

The familiar surroundings embraced you with a sense of calmness as Geto carefully settled you on a comfortable metal bench covered with thick blankets, ensuring that you were cradled in warmth.

Geto's gaze shifted to the delicate flora surrounding you. His voice was low and measured as the tall man began to explain, "All of these," he gestured towards the various plants, "are delicate. Just like you." His words held a quiet reverence for the intricacies of life, and he moved towards a small pot adorned with your favorite flowers — blue orchids. "It's easy to break them," he continued, his fingers grazing the petals with a gentle touch. "But even in their delicate state, they strive to survive." His attention shifted to a particular orchid that both of you had thought was long gone. Geto revealed the seemingly lifeless stalks, and to your surprise, pointed out two new buds emerging, still tender and small. "They may look delicate, but they have a strength within," he remarked, his eyes meeting yours. "Even when faced with adversity, they find a way to grow anew." Moving back to you, Suguro's gaze held a rare softness. "Just like these orchids, you've faced challenges and found the strength to grow. I admire your resilience." His words were sincere, a reflection of the admiration he held for your tenacity in the face of life's storms.

Tears welled up in your eyes. The quiver in your chin mirrored the emotions boiling within your soul. The weight of his words sank in, a profound recognition of the strength that had blossomed in the face of adversity. "I... I never thought of it that way," you admitted, your voice soft and tremulous. "It's just... sometimes it feels like everything is too much, like I'm too fragile for this world." The vulnerability in your confession hung in the air, a stark contrast to the quiet strength that Geto had just commended.

Geto's eyes held a depth of understanding as he listened to your words. With a reassuring touch, he reached out, his thumb gently brushing away a tear that trailed down your cheek as he took a seat beside you. "It's crucial," he said, "to focus on your own well-being. Only then can you coexist with your inner demons. Sorrow has a human heart too often. And you're strong enough to overcome it.” Geto, with a tender gesture, pulled you to sit on his thick lap. His strong arms enveloped you, drawing you close to his wide torso. Gently rocking you back and forth, he whispered words of encouragement into your ear. "You're stronger than you think, and I believe in you. Life throws challenges at everyone, and your resilience in facing them is truly admirable. Remember, it's okay not to have it all figured out. Be patient with yourself, take one step at a time, and know that you're not alone. I'm here, you're not alone. We're in this together. You're capable of overcoming whatever comes your way, and I'm proud to stand by your side. You can always count on me. I won't hesitate to remove any obstacles that stand in your way. Your well-being is my priority.”

The warmth of his embrace and the soothing cadence of his voice created a sanctuary of comfort, a moment of solace in which you felt both physically and emotionally embraced. You gently wrapped your sore arms around Suguru's neck, seeking solace in his comforting, warm embrace. Nuzzling into the crook of his neck, you expressed gratitude, your voice soft but filled with sincerity. "Thank you for always being so gentle with me.”

"Anytime, Y/N. Difficult moments will fade away. And I'll never leave you alone. Ever,” he accentuated the last word, gently kissing your forehead. "Now, wipe away those tears and join me. We still have a delightful supper to prepare together.”

#emergency request #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #suguru geto x you #jjk x reader #geto x you #geto fluff #suguru geto fluff #suguru geto headcanons #jjk headcanons #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #geto x y/n #fluff and comfort #getou suguru x reader #jjk suguru

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henry-fox-biggest-stan · 11 months

Text

Okay so I need people are who are diagnosed as autistic to help me out here

I been suspecting for a long time (like around a year, maybe more idk) than I might be autistic, and I did research (genuinely, not just taking some Internet quiz and self-diagnosing based on it) and I want to know if there’s a genuine chance I might be autistic, or if I have a wrong view on autism (basically, if I’m wrong about it and what it means to be autistic).

Some things than happen to me than I’ve seen also happen to a big amount of autistic people

-Problems with food since very little. Not based on taste, but texture. Eating something with the wrong texture is just horrible.

-Always felt different from my peers, never quite fitting in because I didn’t know how to interact with them. As if they knew exactly what to do and I was just flying blind. I heard people say than they felt as if everyone was born with a book of rules, meanwhile they had to learn from watching everyone else already know them, and I think that’s the best way for me to explain it.

-Intense interests on stuff, really intense. Like, is all I can think about day and night, I relate everything to it in some way or another, I know everything about it down to the smallest detail, some might call me obsessed and I wouldn’t deny it. Reminds me of the way people with autism describe their hiperfixations.

-People thought I was “gifted” as a kid, and said than I was a kid with the mind of an adult. I’m no genius, I was just interested on different stuff than other kids. I was the first one to learn to read and I never stopped. I basically lived in the library as a kid. I have a vivid memory of when I must have been like 10 and saying than my favorite thing in the world was reading and some friends looking at me like I was crazy. I’m mentioning this not because people who are autistic are “gifted”, but more because I heard they are usually interested in different stuff than their peers (doesn’t have to be more mature, it can be more immature stuff too, I think. Goes hand in hand with feeling different from everyone). Continuing on books, I also always had a higher reading level than the rest of my class. I was “a pleasure to have in class but should speak out more” kid.

-Looking back they were obviously bullying me, but I thought than they were laughing with me, not at me.

-I can’t hear the tone of my voice?? For some reason?? Sometimes I speak too loudly or too quietly or my mom says I’m being rude for “talking back” but in my head my voice is the same level and uses the same tone. So if I’m ever rude I probably don’t notice (I hate being rude to people).

-I read about overstimulation and under stimulation and it perfectly described the way I feel a lot of time. Specially overstimulation.

-If talking about something I really enjoy (hiperfixations?) I can’t be still. I’ll probably smile and fidget with something and the mere mention of it or anything regarding it outside of online spaces makes me want to scream out of excitement. Like, a really abnormal reaction to it, I believe.

-I prefer to be home on my own than outside (specially if there’s lots of people around). I don’t know if it’s hard for me to see how people are feelings, given than I learnt to notice when people don’t want me somewhere (eventually you get used to it) but sometimes when people are being nice to me I’m completely unable to see if they’re being genuine or not. An example, I was forced to spend a week sharing a room with this pair of really popular girls because of a school trip, and they were nice to me, starting conversations and stuff. So because they seemed nice, I thought they were nice. But at the end of the week I approached them and they gave me the dirtiest look and I realize they weren’t actually being genuine, they were just kind of being forced to be nice to me.

-I hate changes of routine, everyday I have the same routine and if someone wants it to change (go somewhere and do something together) they have to tell me at least a day in advance. Unless I really like them, I will feel uneasy to change my routine because it makes me feel as if I was messing everything up.

-I don’t know if it has anything to do with this, but I’m adding it just in case. I hated physical touch as a kid. Up until some years ago, I couldn’t stand it. Also don’t know if it’s related, but I always had trouble sleeping, I heard that might be a symptom but I don’t know.

-I went to a speech therapist as a kid because I couldn’t pronounce the letter s and I pronounced it as z, sometimes it still comes out. I heard problems in speech might be related but I doubt it, just adding just in case.

-I have a big sense of justice. For example everyone in my class cheats on their exams (they don’t even hide it, is more, they brag about it), and that has always upset me. Not because they can copy while I actually study, but because cheating is wrong. That’s not how it works. Why are they breaking the rules. Or for example they bring their phones to school (not nearly as bad as cheating) which is forbidden, and I don’t understand why they do that. It’s forbidden, so why?

-I notice patterns in almost everything, I also focus more on the little details than the big picture, which leads to both overthinking but also better results.

-I need people to speak to me separately. Having a conversation with two people at the same time feels like a nightmare.

-I need people to tell me things, if they want me to do them. If you made something for me to eat, don’t just put it on the table, tell me it’s for me. Otherwise I won’t touch it out of fear it’s not mine. When given instructions, I need them to be clear and detailed. All people my age are doing stuff like going to parties, drinking alcohol, meanwhile I never think of doing it and also, never knew I could do it? When did the change between going to the park to hang out without our parents for the first time and going to a party with alcohol around lots of strangers happened? Why did no one told me? How does everyone just know when to change and grow up? Why don’t I?

-Something I also noticed is than every fictional character I related to had various autism symptoms (said by people on the fandoms who are actually autistic).

#autistic spectrum #autism #autistic women #???#mental health

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undiscovered-horizon · 10 months

Text

"Sea shanties" - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[mentions of a minor injury and blood]

SUMMARY: Alina catches Sturmhond in a surprising moment of weakness when he's quietly watching you sing to yourself and fix the net.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.7k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

The cold wind nips at your exposed skin and part of you beckons you to return under the deck to finish sewing the net back together. But you dread returning among the sailors: despite truly being a lovely bunch, their constant chattering and liveliness can wear you out. The berths and cabins are warm, yes, but the sea is silent, predictable and, most of all, doesn’t expect engagement. As long as you let her be, she leaves you alone in return. Here, where cold wind tugs at your clothes and saltwater spray your face, you can finally take a deep breath and relax your tense shoulders. Stitching the nets is a very monotone, maybe even boring, activity but it’s exactly what you need. Your hands fix the knots on their own, guided by experience, allowing your mind to let go of duties and worries, to slip away into much more pleasant thoughts.

“I’ll wander, weep and moan. All for my jolly sailor, until he sails home,” you sing barely above a whisper. Truthfully, you can’t recall where you learned the song. It’s as if you’ve always known it, the melody haunting you whenever you’re getting lost in thought.

Alina lets out a sigh of relief when she finally finds Sturmhond. For a moment she was really considering whether he could snap his fingers and vanish. He’s leaning against the doorframe but his broad shoulders still block most of the view of the deck. Sturmhond is completely oblivious to her presence and Alina has a bit too much spite in her to let the opportunity go. She quietly approaches him, harbouring a wicked hope that maybe she can scare him and single-handedly rub away that smug smirk of his.

She stops a pace or two behind him, taking in a deep breath to yell right into his ear. "Sturmhond, I-"

But the privateer is quick to silence her:

"Keep your voice down!" he hisses at Alina.

The Sun Summoner frowns at the privateer. Not only did she not scare him but also seems to be interrupting something. And considering his wish to keep things quiet, Sturmhond is doing something he knows he shouldn’t. She stares at him through half-closed eyes, beaming with suspicion, when she hears a faint hum distracting her from constructing some passive-aggressive remark. Alina recognizes your voice, although it sounds a lot softer than what she’s used to. Being the boatswain, you’re mostly heard yelling out orders for the maintenance crew that you’re watching over; forcing seafarers to tie perfect knots, no matter how many tries it takes them and raising Hell for the smallest error in repairing sails. Even if you might come off as harsh, credit is due as Volkvolny’s sails and equipment are kept impeccable. Your discipline has definitely played a significant part in Sturmhond’s successful betrayal of the Black General.

Listening in, over the howling wind and crashing waves, Alina and Nikolai eavesdrop on the sombre song you’re singing quietly to yourself — a story of a woman mourning her lover who never returned from the sea. Despite the heaviness of the words leaving your mouth, your voice is rid of dread as though such a woeful story is nowhere near relatable to you. Alina doesn’t notice that detail but Sturmhond surely does. In fact, it brings him a sense of relief: after all, how could he compete with a dead man for your love?

A mischievous smile creeps onto Alina’s face as she’s looking between you and Sturmhond. As far as she can tell, you’re completely oblivious to the small audience watching you go about your duties. The sailor, however, is unable to control his soft expression and that lovesick, mellow look in his eyes. To be honest, Sturmhond looks so removed from reality, he might actually be unaware that there are more people in the world than just him and you.

“So, genius privateer Sturmhond, the fright of the sea is in love with the boatswain,” Alina whispers, barely holding in an impish snicker, “but instead of his usual bravado he cowers away, settling for watching her from afar like a creep.”

He seems to ponder her words for a moment, nodding his head ever so slightly. “That is a bit embarrassing, isn’t it?” he asks. Nikolai appears to be well aware of his affliction but rendered powerless in the face of his heart’s desire, he can only accept the state of things.

“I wanted to say pathetic but either way works.”

Sturmhond looks at Alina out of the corner of his eye but only for a moment, unwilling to waste any more time not admiring you. “Wouldn’t it be more pathetic to be the best privateer in all of Ravka’s history but not know love?”

Alina clenches her fists. She puckers her lips, suddenly feeling hot as blood rushes to her face. Saints have mercy - he’s right. The sole act of seeing eye to eye with the blond man isn’t as terrible as the act of admitting it and stroking his ego. “I hate to say it but I agree,” she grits through her teeth.

Nikolai notices her discomfort. He doesn’t hide a certain satisfaction in the effect he has on her - it’s amusing to see her paper mache confidence falter, although he is painfully aware that this will prove problematic later on. “Oh my, I might think you actually tolerate me.”

She forces herself into a contemptuous scowl - it’s a little overdone to be considered natural. “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Alina dismisses him.

“You know, I might be an incredible captain and all but without her…” Sturmhond shakes his head. His eyes follow your barely noticeable movements as you weave the net back together. “This whole ship would have already sunk.”

But she doesn’t believe him - not entirely. If she is to believe Tamar, and Alina doesn’t have much reason not to, Sturmhond chose Volkvolny despite having more captain-worthy vessels available. “Somehow, I don’t believe you’d allow that.”

“Right. If she wasn’t on this ship, I wouldn’t be either.”

Alina almost comes to the conclusion that you’re the sole reason he chose Volkvolny to be his flagship but she mostly dismisses that thought - Sturmhond may be doting but he’s far from completely losing his mind. He simply doesn’t give the impression of someone who’d shuffle his life around just to be able to creep on his boatswain. Little did she know at the time but the strangeness and dread the future holds is going to prove her wrong.

Their conversation is halted when one of the sailors on night watch passes by them. Alina recognizes him by the burn mark spreading across the right side of his face. Tolya called him ‘Marquis’. His long, blond hair sway in the cold wind. As he’s carrying a heavy crate from starboard to port, he’s quietly singing along to your song with certain carelessness as though he’s not entirely aware he’s doing it:

“My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me-”

Alina yawns. She’s had a long, exciting day and tomorrow is not going to be any easier, that she’s sure of. Whatever she wants to tell Sturmhond will have to wait until dawn when the captain wriggles free of his heart’s restless desires. Even though at first she’s annoyed that she has to wait because Sturmhond decided to play a lovesick teenager, she quickly finds it may be for the best: an in-depth discussion will surely erupt between the two of them and doing so when the moon is high just doesn’t seem like the best idea. Aside from that, she can really use a few more hours of sleep.

The Sun Summoner murmurs something resembling ‘Goodnight’ to Sturmhond and turns around to go back to the room she shares with Tamar, when a great wave shakes the ship, throwing her against a wooden wall. Despite the impact not being exceptionally painful to her, she’s sore anyway, the sound of it carried quite well.

Hearing a thud, you look up out of reflex. Glancing around the deck, your watchful eyes stop on Sturmhond, who’s staring back at you. The privateer gives the impression that you’ve just become privy to a side of him he’s not so keen on showing. Perhaps ‘side’ doesn’t quite mirror the idea. ‘Layer’ seems more fitting. It’s as though he dropped the facade of quick wit and evasive answers, only to show the exhaustion of a man carrying the world on his shoulders for a day too long. Despite the silence and distance between you, this staring feels intimate; both of you are showing something raw to one another in the gullible hope that the other will keep it secret.

He appears different, more calm than smug, than he does during the day, although still beautiful enough to make you flustered. Truly, he looks like he breaks the hearts of naive girls for a living. Despite that, as well as your experience with sailors in general, you found yourself craving his attention. Whether it’s intentional or not, Sturmhond has the ability to make people feel seen and their efforts acknowledged. Considering that establishing your position among sea dogs as a woman is a real challenge, maybe it was your hurt ego that clawed at any possibility or delusion of your exceptionalism. And maybe the privateer never intended for you to be hopelessly in love with him. Sure, the two of you have flirted back and forth but you never assumed it means as much to him as it does to you. It’s just the way he is, right?

A sharp, stinging pain in your finger makes you yelp. Discarding fantasies about the blond man in an awful frock coat, you look at your sore hand, now noticing a drop of crimson slowly rolling down your skin.

“Well, shit,” you whisper to yourself.

You put the bleeding finger against your lips. It’s a small cut, it shouldn’t bleed longer than a minute or two and then you can get back to-

“Are you alright?”

Sturmhond’s worried tone elicits mixed but engaging feelings from you. On one hand, you’re giddy at any crumb of attention he gives you. On the other hand, you just failed at the second easiest maintenance job a ship can have - one Hell of a way to make a good impression on the captain that always seems to fall on four paws.

“Yeah, just pricked my finger with a needle fixing the net. Nothing fatal.”

“Why are you doing this anyway? You’re a boatswain. This is a deckhand’s job,” he says as he grabs the net from your hands and tosses it aside.

“Believe it or not but I actually enjoy this. It’s peaceful, helps me get my mind off of things.”

He gives you a cocky half-grin. “Pricking your finger is just a tasteful addition, I presume?”

“Oh, you know, just trying to enrich things,” you joke back.

Sturmhond lets out a quiet, resigned sigh. Of course, you told everyone to go to sleep and finished the odd jobs yourself. “Have Tamar look at this,” he says in a soft voice. Despite the suddenly mild demeanour, his smug expression stays in place. “I’ll get someone else to finish.”

“Alright, captain,” you reluctantly agree. “But can it wait a few minutes? I like it here.”

Your gaze returns to the sapphire waves and black firmament, the line of horizon barely distinguishable between them. To your own surprise, Sturmhond sits down next to you on a barrel. “Just a few,” he says insincerely. You may not know it but he’s willing to sit there with you for much longer than a few minutes.

Volkvolny bobs on the waves, headed somewhere in the South-East direction. Cold water sprays on your face and clothes but you don’t mind it. It’s quite refreshing. Only now do you notice how quiet the ship is. Most of the crew must already be asleep, revelling in the few hours of rest they have until dawn. The thought of sleeping sailors makes you aware of your own exhaustion, both physical and mental.

You barely stifle a yawn. Too tired to think twice, you lay your head against Sturmhond’s shoulder. He doesn’t shy away, quite the contrary - he wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to his torso ever so slightly. He smells like expensive, imported cologne and seaweed. The fragrance is hardly likable but you’ve grown to earn some masochistic pleasure from it simply because it belongs to him. The blue frock coat he’s wearing feels nice against your skin.

“Why do you always sing that song?” he asks after a few minutes of silence.

“I always sing or hum doing manual jobs. It’s a habit I can’t kill,” you answer quietly. It’s hard to keep your eyes open and you can hear your words starting to slur. “I grew up in Novokribirsk. I know a lot of shanties.”

“Know anything happier than mourning a sailor?”

“Hardly,” you let out a tired chuckle. “Somehow, sailors have an aversion to happy songs. There’s one you might like.” You clear your throat, trying to recall the song from your cloudy, tired memories. “I’m a broken man on the Os Kervo pier, the last of Ravka’s privateers.”

Sturmhond furrows his eyebrows and he shakes his head in disapproval. “No, it’s still depressing.” Whether he means to or not, his finger is gently brushing circles against your arm.

“Alright, another one, um… Oh! Don’t haul on the ropes, don’t climb up the mast. If you see a sailing ship, it might be your last.”

“Ominous and tedious. I’m actually surprised you can put both in one song.”

To Sturmhond’s dissatisfaction, you pull away from him. Still, the distance between you is considerably small and you feel each other’s breaths on your skin. With half-lidded eyes out of exhaustion, you give him a wide smile. His breath shakes in his chest.

“You know, you might be the most optimistic sailor I’ve ever met,” you confess.

He could kiss you right now. Saints only know how much he wants to. If the odds are in his favour, and his vanity would like to think they are, you might even kiss him back. Or at least not slap him. Would your lips feel soft and warm against his? Would you taste of saltwater and rye bread like he always imagines? Would you giggle nervously after? In that specific way that makes him forget to breathe?

But Sturmhond can only hope your tired mind can’t compute his nervousness. “Does that title come with a prize?”

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Is being the most optimistic sailor truly worth such honour?” he says in an overly dramatic tone. He jokingly puts his hand on his chest. “Are you not underestimating your presence, my lady?”

“You get extra credit because I like you. A lot.”

Sturmhond swallows nervously. Since when does he get nervous around women? For a moment you’re just staring at each other again. The desire to push his lips against yours is back flooding his mind, now stronger and more desperate than before. The first chance might have been a coincidence but the second… He slowly leans in, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. But you look just as lovely as you did in the morning. His nose almost brushes yours and-

“I might have a happy one,” you suddenly speak up. You look back at the sea, furrowing your eyebrows in deep thought. “Saints, how did it go?” you whisper to yourself. “Prick your finger, it is done. Roll her out and spread her wings, the time has come for better things.”

Having mastered self-control, Sturmhond doesn’t make his disappointment visible. The third time’s the charm, right? “First one that doesn’t make me want to drown myself.” The bitterness in his voice is almost inaudible but you’re too tired to notice.

“I’ll sing you the whole thing but that has to wait until morning, alright?”

“I’m holding you to that.”

His heart quickens its beat when you lay your head back on his shoulder. He should probably tell you to go back to your berth and get some sleep but maybe it can wait a few minutes? He likes it here.

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kirasgirl · 7 months

Note

Gojo x student reader(18-19y/o) where the reader has zero clues about his feelings (nothing too sexual please)

INOCENT| Gojo Satoru x Student!reader

1/2

She was an innocent girl.

Almost as fragile as a daisy.

As smart and strong as she was, she was still such a fragile little thing in his eyes.

Eyes so sinful that he would wonder several times a day how someone like her could be in such a frightening world.

He observed every detail of it, from the most precious to the smallest detail that many would consider important, but for him, it was far beyond.

She was young.

Starting his adult life for now, she would still face many obstacles. I’d go through a lot of things.

And he would like to be there to help.

He didn’t know where it started.

He didn’t know when he started to feel nervous and a little anxious to see her every day.

He doesn’t remember when he started worrying so immensely about her. The fear in your heart of losing her.

He thought it was something fleeting, accustomed to having small obsessions that did not last more than a few days.

But with her it was different. Very different.

It lasted for days, weeks and months.

He felt confused, never having felt that way. Knowing he was so strong, but in relation to that, he was so... weak.

He was so weak for her.

And that scared him.

It scared me because she was his weak point.

Gojo Satoru was really in love with her

And he hoped that she would notice.

Which was quite the contrary and it annoyed him in a way.

Knowing that everyone around you would already suspect, and even mocked your face.

But she, she was so silly.

Acting as if she wasn’t aware of the man next to her. The strongest man in the world. He would be weak with the small touch of his soft hands.

He got so angry when that trio of brats came to him, a sarcastic look saying silly things about him being so in love with the girl.

He wanted her to notice so badly.

Carefully, he put her on his bed.

The girl having fallen asleep on her shoulder while they were both subtly outside watching nothing, daydreaming over anything.

A smile on his lips earlier, thinking it was just something platonic between the two.

He watched his face asleep.

She was really pretty.

His serene face emitted even stronger feelings to Gojo.

With a soft touch on his face, pushing his hair apart, he got up, walking to the door so that he could let the young woman rest for the next day.

“Satoru….?”

He was frightened, by some miracle, a small guilt rising to his being when he woke up the girl.

He turned around, such a dull smile.

“Oh, I was going to let you sleep a little,” he said, scratching the Nape of the Neck gently.

The girl’s sleepy face just watched him.

“I’m sorry I slept, I think I’m so overwhelmed with school stuff.” she yawned. “Stay here a little longer.”

He got scared at first, but not denying the request.

There’s no way he would miss that chance.

He walked back to bed, sitting down.

Eyes are so tired.

“Satoru” she called him, her voice a little low.

“Uh?” He replied, realizing how she squeezed her lips.

It seemed like wanted to ask something, but still a little afraid.

“Could you tell Nobara and Itadori to stop saying silly things?” She said, even if it was a little dark, he could still see his cheeks burning in red.

Gojo raised an eyebrow, confused.

“What things?”

The young woman shrank.

“The kind of... seeing both of us as something romantic...”

Oh…

He smiled.

A laugh slipping from his lips, causing him to feel an internal warmth.

The girl in front of him looked at him confused, already waiting for him to laugh at his face since it was quite his job to do something like that.

“Why would I ask them to stop something I would like to be true?”

(Name) paralyzed.

His lips half-open, madly incredulous with the statement. The sleep she once felt disappearing completely.

Gojo watching her intensely through the glasses she wore.

His mouth is opening several times, looking for the right words.

“W-WHAT?!”

#gojou satoru x reader #geto suguru #yandere gojo #geto suguru x reader #toji fushiguro #gojo saturo #jjk x reader #jujutsu geto #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen

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the-quiet-fire-of-defiance · 9 months

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Melian and her Descendants as Native Aotearoa Birds

For day 4 @tolkienofcolourweek

A detailed image description is at the bottom of this post but I've listed the characters and their matching birds below.

Melian: hūia. A sacred bird, often considered to be one of the most beautiful birds in Aotearoa. Their feathers were traditionally only worn by people of high status.

Hūia were forest songbirds who paired for life and were utterly devoted to their partners. The pairs would fly and hunt together, caressing each other with their bills, singing duets back and forth. Often when a hūia died, its partner would die of grief a few days later (typically due to failing to eat or drink).

There was a sharp decline in the numbers of hūia after the arrival of European settlers in the 1840s. By the early 20th century, they had disappeared from our forests forever.

Lúthien: tūī. The most talented of our songbirds, a stunningly beautiful creature with iridescent blue-black feathers. Their double voicebox allows them to mimic almost any sound, including human speech. They often sing all day long.

Tūī are messengers to the gods. In Māori culture we might compliment a singer by saying that they have korokoro tūī, the throat of a tūī.

Also I'm feral about this quote:

Farmer and ornithologist Herbert Guthrie-Smith, writing in the early 20th century, observed of a female tui singing on the nest (tui are the only bird in the world to sing on the nest): “We were close to her, yet she sang as if her song could have no ending, as if the world was too full of the ecstasy of life for wrong and rapine to exist. The sun was shining above the flowing river, the leaves green, of every shape and shade; her great love had cast out fear.”

(Source)

Díor: kōtare, aka the sacred kingfisher. (Yes, okay, this is partially a joke about Dior being a sacred king.) Although kōtare are native to Aotearoa, they're also found in other countries. Most Eastern Polynesian cultures, including many Māori iwi, believe that kōtare have power over the ocean and waves.

Kōtare can sit motionless for hours while waiting for their prey, watching with perfect stillness. For this reason, a person who is alertly watching for enemies is sometimes compared to a kōtare.

Elured and Elurin: tara iti, aka fairy terns.

For Māori, terns in general are associated with people of high status. Tara iti are the smallest species of tern in Aotearoa, weighing in at about 70 grams (or 2.5 ounces). They're also our rarest breeding bird. Sadly, there are only about 40 individuals left.

Elwing: kōtuku - I expanded on this in another post

Elrond and Elros: North Island kōkako and South Island kōkako (respectively). Kōkako are blue-grey songbirds who often have a similar call to tūī, although with a slightly less extensive range of sounds. They love to sing duets; in fact, they sing the longest known duets of any bird in the world.

The North Island and South Island kōkakō are closely related but distinct sub-species. Although the North Island kōkako has been the subject of a successful conservation campaign, the South Island kōkako is considered possibly extinct. (The last two reliable sightings were in 2007 and 1967.) However, some people who walk the remote tracks of the South Island swear they've heard it singing.

Elladan and Elrohir: tīeke, aka the North and South Island saddlebacks. The two species are very difficult to tell apart for all but the most trained eyes. They're close relatives of kōkako and hūia.

Tīeke are notoriously fearless. In Māori culture, they're guardians and guides.

Arwen: Chatham Islands tūī. While these birds look extremely alike to mainland tūī, they sing a very different song.

(Since this bird is from the Chatham Islands, the Arwen faceclaim is a Moriori woman. Moriori are the indigenous people of the Chathams.)

Image description below cut due to length.

A series of paired images. Each pair has one bird and one faceclaim. All of the faceclaims, except for Arwen, are Māori.

1: Hūia and Melian. The hūia is a black bird with an orange wattle, long curved beak, and white at the end of its tail feathers. Melian is a dignified woman with light brown skin, brown hair, and a traditional chin tattoo. She wears traditional clothing and a pounamu (greenstone) ornament around her neck.

2: tūī and Luthien. The tūī is in flight. The light has caught its wings and tail feathers, making them look a vivid blue. Luthien is a light-skinned (but distinctly Māori) woman with long dark hair. She wears a black dress and a pounamu necklace.

3: a kōtare and Dior. The kōtare is a blue/black bird with a white neck and underside. It's in flight, carrying something in its mouth. Dior has dark brown skin and facial tattoos that mark him as someone of high rank. He wears a carved bone ornament in his hair, a pounamu necklace, and a traditional feather cloak.

4: tara iti and Elured and Elurin. The tara iti is visible from behind, its white wings spread, either landing or taking off. Elured and Elurin are infants swaddled in blankets side by side.

5: Kōtuku and Elwing. The kōtuku is a gorgeous white bird with a long neck and stilt-like legs. This one standing on a tuft of grass surrounded by water, looking down at its reflection. Elwing is a light-skinned, dark haired pregnant woman wearing a white cloak and cradling her stomach.

6: North Island kōkako (kōkako o Te Ika a Māui) and Elrond. The kōkako is a blue-grey bird with a black beak and blue wattle. The Elromd faceclaim is Alex Aiono (Ngati Porou, Samoa), a man with light brown skin and dark curly hair. In this photo he's shirtless, holding a flower and facing the righthand side of the image.

7: South Island kōkako (kōkako o Te Waipounamu) and Elros. The kōkako looks very similar to the bird above except for its orange wattle. The Elros faceclaim is also Alex Aiono, but in this image he's standing on a beach in front of the sea, smiling.

8: North Island saddleback (tīeke o Te Ika a Māui) and Elladan. The tīeke is a medium sized bird with a red wattle and mixed black/red-orange plumage. My Elladan faceclaim is Jordi Webber (Te Atiawa, Ngāti Toa, Te Arawa, Ngāti Raukawa, Ngāti Maniapoto). He's a young man with pale brown skin, wavy black hair, and grey eyes.

9: South Island saddleback (tīeke o Te Waipounamu) and Elrohir. He is also represented by Jordi Webber.

10: Chatham Islands tūī (tūī o Rēkohu) and Arwen. This tūī is sitting on a flax plant, but it looks very similar to the tūī photo from earlier. It has blue-black plumage, a white tuft at its throat and orange pollen on its head. The Arwen faceclaim is a smiling Moriori woman in front of trees. She has long brown hair, light brown skin and a white dress.]

#melian #luthien #dior #elured #elurin #elwing #elrond #elros #elladan #elrohir #arwen #silmarillion #tocweek2023 #māori-fying tolkien #mine #long post #thank u to Toi for showing me how to do the letters thing #i very definitely didn’t overdo it in the slightest

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petracozbi · 9 days

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I'm finally came around to do my own Trolls HC list-thing (most are Branch related cuz he's my favourite):

Branch has almost perfectly trained senses from living and surviving on his own in the wilderness; he's got a very sensitive nose and he can easily hear the smallest movements even if they're fairly far away, etc.

Poppy makes sure to at least make a little noise when approaching Branch, as to not catch him off guard, since he had a tendency to get lost in thought when he feels he's in a safe and secure space, and can lower his defences. Kismet does the same (they're found family to me idc)

In the beginning, the bros found it kind of annoying/confusing how Poppy would start getting louder and yell out Branch's name every time they were getting close to him, probably shrugging it off to her just being a very hyper and overexcited girlfriend. It wasn't until they got to experience first-hand how Branch reacted when they suddenly just touched him while deep in thought, and let's just say, after having their arm pinned behind their back and a sharpened stick held to their throat a few too many times, they learned to give a heads-up.

Branch needs glasses. He stopped wearing them after Rosiepuff got eaten to fully avoid any connection with Brozone and his boyband persona. He's not completely blind and can still get around, but he relies mostly on his other senses (which also got way more sharp because of that), and has to get up close to see things in detail.

A HC I think I shared before: Branch is freakishly strong, but doesn't look it at first glance - He's very much humbled the bros (especially JD and Bruce) with this fact, when they try to wrestle him into a headlock to give him a nookie or a Wet Willy (JD and Bruce) and he just won't budge (Kismet knows to not even try) or when they want to help him carry something and they almost collapse under they weight when he hands it to them.

Besides being his vehicle, Rhonda is also JD's (unofficial) therapy animal.

Clay can't swim. He never learned since he spent his entire life in either the trolltree or the abandon golfcourse. When Bruce learns this, he takes it upon himself to try and teach him, but to their shared frustration, they both (Clay and Bruce) discover that Clay is apparently deadly afraid of open waters.

Bruce also didn't know how to swim when he first left the trolltree. He got washed up on vacay Island, having been staying afloat by holding onto a branch. The vacationers taught him how to swim.

JD can cook circles around most trolls. He did most of the cooking back in the trolltree 'cuz Rosiepuff was a horrible cook (referencing her apparently rancid-tasting fluffleberry cake), he also taught (Sp)Bruce how to cook, but never got around to teach the others 'cuz they split up. Bruce later incorporated some of JD's recipes into the menu at the restaurant.

Branch's tastebuds are pretty hardened (some might say almost nonexistent), and trolls tend to assume it's from his survival years, where he'd just eat whatever as long as it was edible, didn't matter what it tasted like. In reality, it's mostly from solely eating Rosiepuff's cooking for like maybe a year or two after the band split up (yeah that's all it took to mess them tastebuds up for years after). Ofc in the beginning, he had to force himself to even put the food in his mouth, but he did it 'cuz he wanted to make his grandma happy.

Kismet was formed shortly after the bros left. It was Rosiepuff who encouraged Branch to socialize with other trollings around his age, since he became very closed off after the split (tho' I think he'd been a pretty shy and quiet kid to begin with (with the exception of when he performed as Bitty B))

Branch used to get bullied (more) for his greyness as a kid. Kismet would chase them off.

Although Branch is not as forgiving either, Kismet 100% holds a grudge for the bros leaving Branch - the Snackpack too, when they also learn what happened.

The bros are absolutely bewildered by the fact that Branch is dating the Queen, and that he'd probably one day be King. Branch himself gets very anxious when they mention this; just the thought of that much responsibility and being in the spotlight like that has him sweating.

Bruce's favorite way of annoying Branch is to tease him about his and Poppy's relationship, asking him when he can expect the wedding invitations and some nieces or nephews. In reality, it's probably Poppy that proposes in the future, with a long, romantic and heartfelt speech ofc (and yes, he cries).

That's all I got for now

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shirefantasies · 2 months

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Things You Do Together- LoTR Characters

A little buffer posting during recovery, sorry y’all 😅 I have some requests getting ready too though! Did a version for Thorin’s company a while back so here’s this version too 🥰

Aragorn wishes there to be no secrets, as few misunderstandings as could arise. Thus his goal is to help you reach fluency in Elvish; after all, many of his friends and familial figures are of Middle Earth’s eldest race. Their script is quite complex, so barring a great desire of yours to be writing it soon Aragorn focuses upon recognition of important words and phrases. Starting, of course, with my love.

Legolas teaches you archery, standing behind you as you fire his bow. Such a patient teacher and not one to burst out laughing if the arrow arcs spectacularly right back down into the grass. Surely he will smile and shake his head, but he understands. Everyone was there once, himself no exception. Pays such attention to detail you will catch him making the smallest of adjustments, even little things like changing the position of your fingers with his.

Desiring to prove both his and his people’s worth, Boromir attends with you at his side a joust hosted by Gondor’s men. You delight in choosing and cheering on a champion, shouting with joy at his successes and sympathizing with strikes against him. When, you think aloud to Boromir, was the last time you both laughed so? Pulling you close, he tells you he does not remember when, but if he has his way it will be soon again.

If you desire exploration, you know that Gimli will be right at your side to enjoy the world’s beauty. Caves, of course, are a domain of his people, expanses of stone glittering on walls and hanging down to your level. Forests, too, homes of fairer beings and much provision. Things Gimli has sworn to protect and love in this life that he wishes to experience with the greatest of them all… you. Never does he tire of telling you nature is beautiful, but more so are you.

Frodo encourages your writing. He himself has penned you many a poem, but there is nothing like your voice, physical or metaphorical, sharing a story with him. His dream is a book containing both of your stories, perhaps even an addition to his uncle’s story. If you feel called to share stories of others, even simple escapes from reality, Frodo is your greatest supporter. With all that he endures, ever a relief is it to hear you speak of a world so different from his own.

Botany, Samwise Gamgee thinks, is best learned amongst the flowers themselves. Rather than stuff you up into the pages of some book, he takes you walking down winding Shire-paths of flowers and bushes, showing you how he can tell what's related by things like leaf shape and giving you little tips and tricks to remember bloom names. “If you forget forget-me-nots, after all,” he teases with a wink, “you’re doing them quite the disservice!”

Merry teaches you his method of whittling, the way he crafts little trinkets of wood to keep occupied in idle times. When you feel more confident in your skills, Merry challenges you: he crafts a little figure of you and you of him. Complain as you do that his lovely hair is hard to capture, in the end you are proud of your first figure and Merry keeps it in the pocket closest to his heart. Those figures serve as the cake topper at your wedding a little ways down the line!

It can be a messy time, but Pippin adores spending time in the kitchen with you! Not only because he knows you’ll acquiesce him with little tastes, but because he’s fascinated at the process, the way you throw things together to make something beautiful and are so willing to have a feast made whenever guests call. Ever one for physical touch, Pippin enjoys sugary-sweet moments like sneaking up behind you for a kiss as you’re occupied kneading dough or standing against you to help stir your soup. And yes, sometimes he spills, but he always apologizes and cleans up after himself and don’t we all make mistakes?

Faramir reads with you, or, if you are stressed, to you. Sharing a love of your land’s myth, the studies of triumphs, follies, and magics past are like traveling far away to him, so to have a companion in that rings deep joy into his heart. He cannot help sometimes comparing the great love stories of Middle Earth to the way you found each other. Faramir is the type to know all your favorite tales and offer them to you at just the right time, sitting you in his lap or against his chest on a bed as he peels the pages open for you.

Smithing is something Eomer is confident you can learn, especially if he knows you wish to be involved in battles and wants to keep you safe! Being a supplier is just as important, otherwise there would be no blades to hoist for Rohan. Always encouraging you to hit harder and chuckling at your initial fear of the red-hot steel, Eomer loves standing behind you and guiding your motions. Perhaps even using this as an opportunity to sneak a kiss!

Haldir shows you how he cares for trees, even the smallest pieces of creation. Small potted trees akin to bonsais decorate shelves and tables in Lothlorien, and trimming and shaping them is an art form in and of itself. Nurturing a tiny, delicate life, after all, requires more intricacies than the greater fortitude. Microcosms of Haldir’s home forest sit before you as you take in his reverent, peaceful smile, hear his guiding words about the nutrients they need. You never tire of the focus spread across his face, the gentle opening of tiny blossoms.

Eowyn adores sparring with you no matter your skill level, moving slower or picking up her pace depending on it. She never wishes to go too hard on you, but does want to push you to try new things and experience different angles so you can keep yourself safe in a fight, Valar forbid you are so threatened. Sometimes your sparring is more playful, more just the two of you chasing each other around with wooden swords and one knocking the other over at the end of it, laughing as you tumble to the ground.

Enjoying the occasional swim, Arwen invites you into one of her home's gorgeous pools with her, stripping you both down to thinner layers as you step into perfectly, perhaps magically, warmed water. Polished stones roll beneath your feet as you wade over to each other, hands joining as you float in peaceful, loving silence. A smile spreads across Arwen's face before she gives you a light, teasing splash, silence quickly devolving into giggles as your troubles lighten.

Elrond is known for making some of the best tea in Middle Earth, and you experience his skills and then some. Not only does the lord of Imladris brew you a cup of your favorite herbal blend, he will also ensure that his bakers have pastries warm and ready and the loveliest toppings. Your relaxation time is like a little ceremony, Elrond pouring your drink and serving you all you wish on your little platter. You will not so much as lift a finger until it is to take a sip of the warm comfort as you and Elrond watch the surrounding waterfalls.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @joonies-word | Reply/Ask/Message to join!

#lord of the rings #lotr #lotr imagines #lotr x reader #the fellowship of the ring #aragorn #legolas #boromir #gimli #frodo #sam #merry #pippin #faramir #eomer #haldir #eowyn #arwen #elrond

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loveyourlovelysoul · 10 months

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if you experienced a deep emotional pain and trauma (betrayal, abandonment, rejection that even relates to you being let down, not having your needs met/made feel too much or not enough and more), you may even develop a dismissive avoidant behaviour in order to save yourself for further pain. This means you try to avoid deep/close relationships (despite maybe even craving them), being vulnerable, letting people in. You may find it hard to trust other people, to ask for help, to talk about your feelings and needs in fear of being let down or abandoned once again so you may even prefer being more independent.

Try to be aware of this, of the triggers you get here and here, on the way your mind sabotages you by making you think or imagine stuff that don't even exist (from fake scenarios, to self-convincing you're not good for them or that other person is not right for you for the smallest detail -basically finding excuses to run away from a possible relationship-). Take a breath and try to realize the inner deep reasons of why this happens: what happened in your past that made you develop this fear? What were the reasons/situations in which you were made feel not enough or too much, you were abandoned, you got betrayed.... very likely reasons aren't on you directly.

Take time to grieve, and talk about your feelings and fears openly also with the other person. Do not fear being judged. Talk with your inner critic (it may be pretty harsh with you especially if you grew up being often gaslighted or criticized/judged) and find a balance with them. Things don't have to be exactly as them want you to think or imagine like. Try to trust a little more, to let go a bit more, despite it's so scary and sometimes difficult cause your thoughts, especially if you're overwhelmed, may just start flowing and make you spiral pretty fast. Take a breath and try to ground by taking a little time out before talking things out with yourself. Try to change your point of you: what if you're wrong, what if you're just scared cause it's something different but not dangerous?

Ask for help to a professional too if you need. Please, do not let this block you and make you avoid stuff that deep down you may even want for yourself.

#words #healing #important #positivity #thoughts #self love #positive thinking #self healing #healingjourney #love yourself #dismissive avoidant #life #life lessons #trauma #emotional trauma #emotions #tw childhood trauma #self care

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saylessastrology · 10 months

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Saylessastrology Observations - Virgo

1. Sun in Virgo: Individuals with the Sun in Virgo are known for their practicality, attention to detail, and analytical nature. They have a strong sense of responsibility, enjoy organizing and planning, and possess a keen eye for precision. They strive for perfection and can be highly critical, both of themselves and others.

2. Moon in Virgo: With the Moon in Virgo, emotional fulfillment is often found through being of service to others. These individuals are practical, thoughtful, and value routine and order in their lives. They have a tendency to be self-critical and may struggle with expressing their emotions openly, preferring to analyze and rationalize their feelings.

3. Mercury in Virgo: Mercury, the ruling planet of Virgo, feels at home in this sign. People with Mercury in Virgo have excellent communication and analytical skills. They are meticulous, detail-oriented, and have a natural affinity for organizing information. They excel at problem-solving, critical thinking, and paying attention to the small details.

4. Venus in Virgo: When Venus is in Virgo, individuals approach love and relationships with practicality and a desire for stability. They appreciate the small gestures of affection and express their love through acts of service. They have high standards and can be discerning in their choice of partners, seeking someone who shares their values and attention to detail.

5. Mars in Virgo: With Mars in Virgo, individuals channel their energy and drive into practical matters. They are hardworking, efficient, and detail-oriented. They approach tasks with precision, and their strong work ethic can lead to successful outcomes. However, they may be prone to over-analyzing and can become overly critical of themselves and others.

6. Jupiter in Virgo: Individuals with Jupiter in Virgo have a practical and analytical approach to expanding their horizons. They find joy and growth through learning, self-improvement, and diligent work. They may be drawn to fields such as education, research, or health-related professions. Their attention to detail and practicality contribute to their success.

7. Saturn in Virgo: Those with Saturn in Virgo are methodical, disciplined, and have a strong sense of responsibility. They value hard work, structure, and practicality. They may be perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve high standards. They have the ability to be meticulous and detail-oriented, but may also struggle with self-criticism and a fear of failure.

8. Virgo Ascendant individuals often have an aura of practicality, efficiency, and attention to detail. They tend to appear neat, put-together, and well-groomed. There is a natural modesty and reserved nature to them, and they often have an unassuming presence. People with Virgo Ascendant are often meticulous and organized in their daily lives. They pay attention to the smallest details and have a keen eye for perfection. They strive to maintain order and efficiency in their environment, and their appearance reflects this as well. These individuals have a rational and analytical approach to life. They seek practical solutions and prefer to rely on facts and logic rather than emotions or intuition. They possess a sharp intellect and enjoy analyzing and dissecting information to gain a deeper understanding.

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katiekatdragon27 · 3 months

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Guys sorry, I am not immune to Hazbin/Helluva propaganda. I am also not immune to criticizing the designs and character motivations.

So! Let’s start with one of the most redesigned characters in the show: Beelzebub^^

So, sorta hot take, I really like the idea behind Beelzebub in the show. Ik "boo tomato tomato," but hear me out. I like how she is meant represent the hellhounds she rules over (ik she actually is a reference to Jay Jay, but let me have this connection PLEASE). However, the source material is very bug-like and compact.

The HB Beelzebub is NOT that bug like. Or compact.

With this redesign, I decided to pick all the stuff I liked about the og, and what I wanted to see more of. I kept her colors and general vibe but made her more built like a bumble bee with more inspo from the fly Beelzebub.

This is what I got.

Progress doodles n stuff below cut (it's gonna be an essay, y'all know the drill):

(She was much sharper in the sketch lol)

DESIGN EXPLANATION:

Anyways, I always imagined Beelzebub to be, y'know, more BEE like. The show did not give me that, so I did it myself. I made her wings bigger, gave her an actual bee tail and face (with the proboscis and stinger too), and more stripes and fluff. I also made her small and slightly chubby. Gotta hone the bumble bee.

I thought the hair made the original design too cluttered, but I wanted to keep the party colors. To compromise, I stuck all the goop in her tail. It sort of works like a firefly's abdomen and a lava lamp. I also nullified her cloths, so they would blend more with the body and help pop the neon colors in her eyes, antenna, and tail.

When she stands at her normal form, she is the smallest of the sins. But when she is in her "true" form (that I have not illustrated yet), she is the biggest of the sins. This is a reference to how gluttony starts small but gets really large over time, both mentally and physically.

As for additional details, I wanted to keep her "foxness". So in a brilliant brainstorm of ideas, I came up with the concept of "Masks". Basically, all the sins I'll redraw will have them. The masks are meant not only to represent their hellborn, but to represent how the sins pretend to be good things at first.

Stuff like "Rest a little more, it won't hurt" and "Be proud and don't care for what others say" are how they present on the surface, but if you continue those mindsets in a toxic way, it turns into sloth and pride and stuff instead of self-care and being proud of things.

For Bee specifically, it's "Have a little more, you deserve it!" and she has a hell-hound/fox mask. This also feeds into her personality change.

PERSONALITY CHANGES:

In the og, she's a party animal who cares for... moderation??? Yeah, I hate this about Helluva Boss. Why is it so hard to write *sshole/negligent people in power and why is it only Mammon who's allowed to be like this? Give me more morally dark grey powerful people!

That's where Bee is different for the redesign. She runs te lowest ring in hell and is in charge of hellhounds, the lowest species in hell. B/c of this, she is much more lenient compared to the higher ranked sins in hell, which is why she is often seen talking and hanging out with lower classes. (She gets slack for this from the other sins). She is also the only sin who has had open relations with lower class citizens all the way down to hellhounds. However, none of them last. Most of her relations outside of the sins are one-night stands and flings.

As for how she sorta sucks: she is still a party animal, yes, but she purposely chooses to be blind and ignore all the suffering that occurs at the parties. People have fun, but they overindulge, and as a result get sick, sad, and violent. However, Bee leaves the parties before they get this way. She does not want to see it. She is negligent. When she comes back to the party aftermaths, she quickly gets her workers to clean everything, so she does not have to discover anything gruesome and sad. She just wants to live, party, and see people "happy". (Sort of like Gatsby's parties minus the pining for a single woman who does not care for her).

... I wonder what would happen if that mental image she had shattered? I guess only the future will tell.

But anyway, if you have any questions or characters you recommend I design or redesign, feel free to ask lol.

I hope this made at least a little sense. Have a lovely day^^

#beelzebub is probably one of my favorite sins in the show aesthetically #but it's so cluttered and looked so painful to animate #also having her be stout and fluffy seemed so novel to me #no more skinny girls with thick thighs give me tiny girls with thick everything #hazbin hotel #hazbin art #helluva boss #helluva fanart #helluva beelzebub #helluva beelzebub redesign #redesign #character redesign #vivziepop #helluva redesign #helluvaboss #also if you don't like this please don't comment that #i don't need that negativity in my life this is just for fun #katiekatdragon27

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thequietkid-moonie · 5 months

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Hey moonie, i wonder if it sounds like a good prompt but what about some Yuri hcs with a reader that has been trough similar stuff as anya and ended up with an emotion tracking power (like Jack's power of seeing people's colors) where he try as much as he can hide stuff from them such as his job, his stress regarding a few troubles, some of his feelings, etc?

Synesthetic!S/O can see his emotions

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Yuri Briar ]

[ Spy x Family ]

Fun fact! Jack's ability is actually based on the synesthesia but is taken to the extreme! Hope you don't mind I made it more general

I think i made a god job with this, but not sure, hope you like it

× Synesthesia is a condition where someone can persive things (like an specific flavor, a sound or even a color) from a stimulus that isn't normally related to it (i recomend searching more about the topic to be able to comprehend it better)

Yuri is a total lovestruck man, when he is in love he is completely blinded by that love, and it is only going to increase once you two are in a relasionship, wanting nothing more but to make you happy and give you a good life

If you ever tell him that you can persive things others not he will believe you almost right away, with a wide smile he asure you that he trust you even if you don't show any kind of evidence. However he will ask for more details out of curiosity, he loves you and wants to know all he can about you, so is only natural for him to want to know more

If you are shy or more nervous about the topic it would take him a moment to understand it and apologize for asking for more (and depending in how nervous you look is going to be how deeply he apologize) and probably even promise to make it up for you

At the end, show evidence of such hability would be almost imposible since is something you and only you persive, and despite that Yuri decide to just trust you and even admire you for it, is a quite unique hability and, in his eyes, you should be proud of! It makes you even more special! For him it doesn't matter anyone else opinion, even if you can't prove that you can actually do it he will not let anyone talk bad about you about it or call you a liar, he will immediatly get protective over you if anyone dares to acuse you of being a failure, even if it is with the smallest hint of doubt

Yuri indirectly encourages you to share more of this hability of yours with him by telling you how amaizing it is or how it makes you more beautiful and special, how lucky is he for having someone so amazing by his side, everytime you are able to persive something (like you can hear a musical note, a smell or even a color) from his emotions his smile just widen, although he really hopes that whatever you percive from him is pleasant to you, the last thing he wants is to upset you

There is no way you'll ever be able to guess something from his work from him, he can be having the most stressful day of his life during work but the moment he is finally able to see you again his entire self transforms into the most happiest person in the world, he may seem a little upset but just because he has being craving for your affection. You can get too notice when he is the slighest mad or stress for work if you sneak behing from behing him but if you confront him about it he will insist that is something you don't need to worry about, just silly little problems but nothing much, besides you are the only thing he needs to feel at his 100% again and he say it in such sincere and loving way that is almost flustering

The fact that you can notice his feelings even if he tries to hide that part of him from you makes him nervous, he want to give you a life where you don't have to worry about a thing and just enjoy, so it scare him a little, feeling like he is getting you involved in his work (even when is far from that), however he immediatly melts once you show worry for him about him feeling that bad, it makes him forget his worries and feel like he has an angel by his side, then again, he insist that having you by his side and your love is more than enough to make him feel better

#spy x family #spy x family x reader #sxf x reader #yuri briar #yuri briar x reader #yuri x reader #x reader #x gn reader #anime x reader #manga x reader

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alexxncl · 1 year

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who fell first, who fell harder (dateables + thirteen)

no luke bc he's a baby

(yes i have favorites, thirteen is one of them)

OG AND NB SPOILERS

masterlist | more drabbles/hcs | brothers edition

dia

dia did both, fight me

when he met solomon, it was purely childlike wonder

mc on the other hand, there was something about them that piqued his interest

despite being so much less powerful than him, they treated him as if they were equals, poking fun at his naivety, joking with him, pushing him to open up when they knew something was wrong

he always had a profound interest in humanity, but was forbidden to act on it due to his father's overprotectiveness (fuck the demon king fr /hj)

they always encouraged his curious spirit, to barbatos' displeasure, but sometimes they managed to convince barbie to join them on whatever adventure dia had planned under the guise of needing protection

they were overhwelmingly open with him, gravitating towards his castle when they had a bad day, and he later found himself doing the same when barbatos and luci weren't around

they read him better than barb and luci combined on most days

he always thought about them on his business and personal excursions, making sure to pick up souvenirs that reminded him of them just so see their eyes light up when he gifted them to them

they made him feel like his dreams were worthwhile, like he'd been able to live up to both his father's and an entire kingdom's expectations of him

how could a simple human make him feel like the weight of the world was off if his shoulders with something as small as a smile?

mc begun to realize that no matter how busy he was, he'd always find a way to make time for them

whether it was in his room, on a phone call, over text, he'd always check in on them to see how they were doing

they always noticed how much he struggled with his position, wanting the best for everyone even if it meant digging himself into a hole

they'd always ask him when he'd get back from his trips, waiting in his room to surprise him with sweets or tea and a movie

the sleepovers happened more often after the lesson 16 incident, he didn't want them staying at the HOL even under the brothers' protection, he was less paranoid if they were within arm's reach

one night, he got back later than expected and found mc curled up in his bed in their nightclothes, and he realized how turly in love with him he was

when both of them woke up the next morning, mc was beyond apologetic for falling asleep and taking up too much space and -

he kissed them and confessed right after

this was a month or so before they left the devildom

barb

mc fell first, barb fell harder

mc didn't like him all that much at first, he was always so secretive and elusive to every question they asked him

why couldn't he just be normal?

they spent as much time as they could around him, trying to catch him at his weakest point so they could pry answers out of him

spending so much time around someone will force you to pick up on the smallest details

how even in the worst situations, he puts on a smile

how his eye bags continued to get worse and worse weeks into the semester

how after dia's trips he'd be more likely to doze off in class

how he'd hide his physical and mental pain from everyone, so well that even luci and dia rarely picked up on it

regardless of his bad days, mc still pestered him with questions about his powers, about how he met solomon, about why they of all people were chosen for the program, all while asking questions about what he liked and disliked, what his favorite color was

they started bringing snacks and energy drinks to classes they shared with him

whenever they went shopping, they bought him gifts related to what he'd tell them

they slowly started opening up about why they were so curious, feeling like they didn't belong or weren't good enough to succeed at the school

then, he caught a glimpse of their death

he'd grown close to the human, the thought of losing them was almost unbearable

their bright smile, the way they supported the young master, their intelligence, hell, even their endless questions about him and his history

he vowed never to interfere with the timeline for personal gain, but mc was too important for him to lose

after sending them back, he'd talked to his past self about why they were so important, why a human with a life as small and insignificant as theirs had ended up meaning to much to him in such a short amount of time

he'd make sure nothing like this would ever happen to them again, insisting on escorting both dia and mc to school every day

diavolo, despite barbatos' best attempts at hiding it, noticed how much he'd grown to care for the human and insisted that if barbatos didn't tell them how he felt, he'd do it himself

the confession happened a few days before mc left the devildom, they were sitting in his room with the newest tea from the human realm when he told him how he felt

"i know, i was just waiting for you to make a move"

they're still as insufferable as the day they fell to the devildom, but he loved them nonetheless

solomon

solomon fell first, mc fell harder

there's a reason he took them on as his apprentice

he saw how close they were with the brothers, how easily they made pacts with them despite knowing them for not even half as long

they'd all felt mc's aura, it almost matched his own

he'd never met someone as optimistic about such a multidimensional situation, being thrust into a world where you were nothing but food to those around you

solomon was there when their happy-go-lucky act about the devildom started to show its cracks

he saw the homesick look in their eyes every time they walked through the devildom streets, strolling through the halls, walking to their room in the HOL

he hated how much it reminded him of himself, he wanted to be there for them

he was the only other human in the devildom after all, they had to be close

he'd conjure up cityscapes, sneak up to the human realm late at night to bring them gifts from their hometown, ask them their favorite recipes (for some reason, he always had to pry those answers out of them)

whenever mc missed home, they'd walk over to purgatory hall and knock on his door, sometimes tearfully wishing they could go home, even with no family to greet them

they'd tried to help him cook, but even their guidance could barely salvage whatever mess he ended up creating in the kitchen

they begged him to teach them spells, to take them under his wing, and even to learn how to become immortal after growing more accustomed to the devildom since the thought of leaving their family behind hurt too much to think about

they didn't want to leave him behind

they'd do anything in their power to stay with him as long as possible, even if it meant pestering him and barbatos about his immortality endlessly

solomon's confession was far from planned, they were back in the human realm having a picnic in the park, reminiscing on all the adventures they had in the devildom

mc talked about how scared they were at the thought of death, and how close they were to experiencing it after the lesson 16 incident

they never expected him to fall for someone with a life so short in comparison to his, someone who could be nothing but a memory if an enemy's cards were played right

the way he held their hand and told them he loved them, it would've been impossible not to feel the same

simeon

simeon did both

contrary to (somewhat) popular belief, the religious guilt he felt due to his status wasn't bad at all

he'd already been demoted from seraph to archangel

what would a little admiration for a human do?

even after the admiration turned to love, turned to desire, turned to lust, he still couldn't bring himself to care about the possibility of being cast out due to his emotions

hell, he would've been cast out sooner if he wasn't so scared to fall before the celestial war

mc is everything he dreamed of having, and then some

their eyes, their smile, the way they carried themself with so much integrity and the way their heart constantly overflowed with love for all of those around them

he wondered how much of that love was for him, how many other emotions they felt towards him

they were always so patient with him, they took such good care of luke, they made lucifer and his brothers happier than they'd been in centuries, happier than they ever were in the celestial realm

could he be happy, too? was loving them all it took for him to find true happiness?

mc took a liking to the angel from the moment they'd met him

he was a far cry from whatever image of an angel they'd had in their head, especially considering their religious upbringing

prim and proper of course, buy willing to indulge in the sins the brothers were so well known for, whether it be for his own personal gain, for luke, or, surprisingly, for them

he was always prideful when mc came to him for help or advice

he was greedy for their time and envious of those who spent too much with them, never having his fill

the silent wrath held towards belphegor after he mercilessly tried to take mc away from their family, from him

how he'd spend hours in bed hoping to dream of them

how when they kissed for the first time, it left them breathless and weak in the knees at the thought of him seeing them in that light

to them, he was the embodiment of everything they'd ever wanted

to him, they were his refuge, a home he'd gladly return to after his fall from grace

they taught him everything he needed to know about humanity, about being

thirteeen

mc did both

they'd always had a thing for intelligence

walking through the reaper's cave made them want to meet her, despite solomon advising against it

when they finally did meet her, the first thing they noticed about her was how pretty her eyes were

ofc they tried flirting, but none of their attempts worked

regardless of how she felt about them, they always wanted to learn more about her

they asked how old she was, how different the other world was from the devildom, if she could show them around

they hoped they weren't annoying her

she was harder to read than the rest of the brothers, but they'd broken down tsundere acts before so it wasn't anything new

they went out of their way to cross paths with her whenever they walked to class, they sat next to her at lunch to ask her how her day was

they asked about her traps and loved the way her whole demeanor changed when she got passionate about her ideas and creations

they started noticing small details, like how she clicked her pencil in time with the clock when class was almost over

how she had a soft side for luke despite scaring the shit out of him during their first meeting

how she was always so careful around mc, like they'd break if she pushed them too hard

how whenever she was overwhelmed, she'd play with the chains on her clothes because having something cool in her hands calmed her down

how despite claiming to hate solomon's guts, she was just frustrated that she couldn't get her hands on his soul

how pretty her lips looked when she smiled

she started opening up to mc as the semester went on, talking about her history with all three realms

how she was there when lilith died

how she was there when solomon was supposed to die

how she was there when mc's candle burnt out

how distraught she was when mc chose to pour some of their candle into beel's, wondering why someone with a life as fragile as theirs would sacrifice something so precious

she wanted mc to care for her the way they cared for the brothers, for the angels, for solomon

she started answering more and more of mc's questions

she started letting mc walk her home, and eventually showed them the ins and outs of the cave

the fountain of knowledge became their safe haven, free from the eyes of those who would give thirteen sideways glances when she walked hand-in-hand with the best friend of the seven rulers of hell

thirteen was talking about how she was tasked with carrying solomon's soul to the otherworld once he died, how she felt like a failure for not being able to do so, when she noticed mc with a sad smile look on their face

they told her nothing in the world would've made her anything but perfect in their eyes, even if she had no choice but to let their candle burn out

she asked mc what else was up, the sad smile being replaced with a more content expression

"nothing, just thinking about how much i love you"

she wanted to bolt right then and there

why did that make her feel funny?

love? of all the words they could've said, they loved her?

falling in love with death, the irony of it all, thirteen would give anything to keep that smile on mc's face

(even if it meant sneakily pouring bits of solomon's candle onto mc's behind her family's back)

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me thirteen #obey me spoilers #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me headcanon #obey me hcs

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ssalballoon · 3 months

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i wanna get better at art but dont know how to start ^^' whats a good way to get into studying anatomy and improving as an artist? tysm 💗 love your art soso much

more art converts 😼 yay!!

i think these asks were sent by different people but they're pretty related + a lot of my advice is the same! so i'll answer these together under the cut (it's so long oh gosh)

ok first of all i'm very flattered that people are asking me for art advice but i'm really not the most equipped person to ask TTOTT I've never been deliberately studious with my art so I feel bad offering advice when I've mostly gotten by with just drawing fanart and ocs a lot... my rate of improvement has therefore been slow, but I've still had an enjoyable learning experience so perhaps from that angle my input may help! i'll mainly refer you to external resources that have helped me

For anatomy + drawing humans:

1) I know I'm not diligent enough to sit down and study muscles, so instead I make it more enjoyable by drawing my favorite characters in a pose that targets the muscles I want to practice! (i default to drawing ppl naked because of this lol) This isn't the most efficient, but it serves as good motivation to get practice in. (honestly a lot of my general art advice has the undercurrent of becoming so obsessed with characters to drive your motivation to draw even when artblocked/ struggling with doubts!)

2) I want to refer you to Sinix's Anatomy playlist! Although Sinix focuses more on digital painting, he gives simplified anatomy breakdowns that include how muscles change shape under different movements/poses, which is crucial for natural human posing. the static anatomy diagrams from Google don't really help for that

3) What's just as important as anatomy is gestures! (especially important if you're used to drawing non-human objects I think!) Making figures look like they have flow to them will sell the "naturalness"(?) to your anatomy. If you have in person life drawing sessions accessible near you I'd recommend trying those out, or if you prefer trying it digitally there's this website!

This helps you not only get a sense of human proportions, but also natural posing! I'd limit the time taken to draw the poses from like 10 seconds to 1 minute(?) for quick gestures, and maybe 1 minute to 5mins(for now!! typically they go much longer) to study human proportions. I'd say don't spend a lot of time on them, repetition is more important!

4) I've also picked up on useful anatomy tidbits from artists online! Looking at how practiced/ professional artists stylize a body helps me focus on what the essential details are to convey a particular form (looking up "human muscles" and being hit with anatomy diagrams full of all the smallest details can be overwhelming! what do you even focus on?! so these educated simplifications really help me) Like Emilio Dekure's work! Look how simplified these figures are, and yet contain all the essential information to convey the sense of accurate form (even though it's highly exaggerated!)

(shamefully admits I've never studied from actual anatomy books so I can't recommend anything in that sense TTOTT)

For general improvement:

1) I highly recommend Sinix's Design Theory playlist and Paintover Pals! (+ his channel in general) You don't have to put them immediately into practice, but I think these are good fundamental lessons to just listen to and have them in the back of your mind to revisit another day. Plus these videos are just fun and very approachable! Design theory fundamentals are essential to creating appeal and directing a viewer's attention, and critiquing others' work/ seeing his suggestions are a good way to practice noticing areas of improvement+ solutions yourself!

2) If you prefer a more formal teaching resource, the Drawabox YouTube course covers all the basic fundamentals of drawing in short lessons. But honestly if I were starting out, this would be a little intimidating for me (and even now it still is! I haven't done all of them) But even if you don't watch them, the titles should give you an idea of the basic concepts that are valuable to pick up. I think it would be nice to keep in mind and revisit once in a while as you learn!

(One lesson I do encourage you to watch is the line control one! A confident continuous line conveys motion and flow much better compared to discontinuous frayed lines which I think is good to practice early by drawing from the wrist and shoulder)

3) As a universal piece of advice: Please please please use references! Use a reference for literally everything, observing is how we learn! You'll find that a lot of things you thought you knew what they looked like are inaccurate by memory alone. Also, trace! This is solely for your practice, tracing then freehanding has helped me grasp proportions when I was struggling! (of course don't post these online if you traced from art)

I've found that being able to compile references into easy to access boards has been very helpful in encouraging me to use references more. For PC, I think they use PureRef (free/pay what you want), and for iPad I use VizRef. VizRef is a one time purchase (which was definitely worth the $3.99 USD price imo)

4) On that note, try building up the habit to observe from media + real life and make purposeful comments about what you see! Like hey, when I bend my knee, the muscles/fat in my thighs and calves bulge outwards, I should draw that next time. Purposeful observation carries over to your overall visual library, and it's a little thing that adds up over time

5) For motivation, get into media you really enjoy, or make your own characters! The way I started art more seriously was by drawing fanart + OCs from anime that I liked ^^ For OCs it really encourages you to draw more because you're the primary creator of their art! Also you gotta see a lot of good art to make good art! Watching visually appealing media (like animation with appealing stylization/simplification) can passively help you learn just by observation.

ok wow I could go on but this is already a lot of information TTOTT my main aim for this reply is basically: don't let anything discourage you from learning to draw!! drawing is so fun and brings me a lot of joy ^^ practicing often will of course help you improve, and the way to incentivize that is by having fun with it! i hope this could help!💞

#my asks #art resources #trying to be concise n failing #i'm mainly worried that like. my art tips make me sound more skilled than my art actually is

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