The Fellowship watching Eurovision:
(because it’s Eurovision week and as a European I am morally obligated to write this)
he thinks it’s all a bunch of nonsense but still watches it every year without fail
accurately predicts the winner each year after first rehearsals, even if it’s not his favourite song
he knows the words to every single song somehow, even the ones in languages that he doesn’t speak
always roots for the countries that rarely qualify for the final
legitimately has never watched Eurovision before
only knows the Eurovision songs that Sam has sang near him or the ones he’s heard on the radio
complains about how Eurovision has become extremely politicised which goes completely against the reason it was founded
knows obscure statistics about how well different countries have performed at Eurovision
may secretly be part of one of the Scandinavian metal bands that seem to always qualify
rants about Australia being allowed to compete but he ends up supporting them anyway
pretends he doesn’t know what Eurovision is when anyone asks him (even if he’s listening to his Eurovision playlist)
watches it each year with Aragorn and Gimli, and is the biggest Eurovision fan out of the three of them
only watches the final (because the qualifying rounds have all the bad songs in)
has somehow managed to turn the section where the points are awarded into a drinking game
only knows the Eurovision songs that are popular on social media
he still votes each year, without listening to any of the songs - he just picks the song with the best title
critiques the singers’ outfits and staging constantly
loves the piano ballads (even though they all sound similar) and has a playlist dedicated solely to those ballads
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Faramir: *Taps a rhythm*
Boromir: *Taps in response*
Denethor: Stop that.
Boromir: Stop what?
Denethor: You're talking about me in morse code.
Faramir: Yes, that's what we're doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary for of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.
Faramir, to Pippin: That's exactly what we did.
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Boromir: Wait, I didn't catch that. Why are we running?
Sam: Orcs are coming! They heard us!
Boromir: How did they hear us?
Pippin: You know what? Sometimes things just happen. And sometimes God... Is a vicious, two-faced prick.
Merry: OH, so this is God's fault! God accidentally knocked that skeleton down a tell and led the orcs directly to us? Maybe GOD should learn to pay attention!
Pippin: GOD can't pay attention to absolutely everything, Merry, He's not omniscient. Which is why, everyone, we should learn to forgive God.
Merry: Despite the situations He's put us in.
Pippin: The FUN situation that will lead us to a better life!
Pippin: When God knocks a skeleton down a well, He always opens a window, I always say. His way is a mysterious one. We should just love Him.
Merry: Because we're stuck with Him.
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