Fics are starting up again in the upcoming week! Requests are welcomed!
Also have some news to share! I found out I'm having a baby girl! Only five months left!
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A and B, with, hmmmm 10, 17, and/or 28?
Send me a number and (a) letter(s)
10 - Deephroat / 17 - Mirror sex / 28 - scars | A - Legolas / B - Aragorn
"I’m pretty sure, ada didn’t mean to insu...”
“I love you, Legolas, but if you finish that sentence, I’ll have to cut your throat while you sleep.”
Legolas gave a resigned sigh and followed Aragorn silently to his chambers, not even bothering to tell his father he'd be gone for the night.
Thranduil had long given up trying to discourage him from his entanglements with that Dúnadan anyway.
Partly, surely, because Aragorn was betrothed and would wed Elrond’s daughter someday, and whatever Legolas and he were up to at those rare opportunities when they were alone a little, would end someday. Until then, Arwen was happy about Legolas helping Aragorn relax a little from his demanding duties, and Legolas …
Well, getting fucked into his mattress every now and then was maybe not all he had ever wanted or expected from a relationship with anyone. But it was better than spending another century or two without any physical attention at all because there just didn’t seem to be an elf or she-elf left in these realms that he was interested in.
More than that, though, Elrond’s step-son had become a real friend to him, not to mention an extremely capable combat partner who’d just kept him from getting eaten by an especially ugly spider.
Legolas might know that when his father told Aragorn that he really needed to get himself cleaned up and that he should stop by the tailors, that it really meant Thank you for saving my stupid son’s behind yet again, now get some rest while make clothes for you without holes in them for a change, but not everyone was fluent in Cynical Elvenking.
And after that long day of bathing in orc intestines, burning countless webs and destroying two nests, Legolas was simply too exhausted to try and explain.
Aragorn was already in the hot grotto adjacent to his bedroom by the time he was finally finished pulling and cutting his spider blood-drenched clothes and boots off his body - very grudgingly, because the latter had been fucking expensive to make.
The faint bubbling on the surface from the water constantly flowing through the pool was hiding most of his friend’s tanned body, and Legolas found himself being grateful for it, because he was even too exhausted for that tonight.
Even more than he’d realized, apparently, because by the time, the thick veil of nothing in front of his eyes dissolved next, he was laying on his bed, wrapped in a thick towel, and his hunting partner was just busy wrapping a thin bandage around his right shoulder. Right. The water had turned a slightly unhealthy shade of red when Legolas had got in earlier ... Maybe he’d not exactly fallen asleep, actually.
He moved his arm cautiously and grimaced at the hated, taut sensation of a fresh stitch. “Oh.”
“Oh.” He could see Aragorn roll his eyes without turning his head, could feel him shift on the mattress as he put away his healer’s bag, one of the blankets protecting his frail Secondborn body from the too-low temperatures inside the mountain.
“You know, your father is just really annoying. You are a walking plague.”
“I love you too,” Legolas grumbled, and maybe he meant it a little.
“If you did, you’d stop trying to kill yourself.” Aragorn pulled the towel down Legolas’ back just enough to reveal a number of faint, crisscrossing lines between his shoulder blades that had still not vanished completely. Valar-damned orc poison. “Mind telling me when that happened?”
“‘t was just a little lashing,” Legolas murmured, his shoulders tightening instinctively. “Nothing else happened, alright? Stop fretting. Just didn’t watch out for a moment. Had to pull my captain out of there and ran into a blade.”
“I said, when.”
Legolas gave another of those exasperated sighs that seemed to become the dominant form of communication between them today and turned aside as if that could make anything better now. “You were travelling in the east. I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Well, someone needs to. You apparently long stopped caring.” His lips tight, Aragorn made a move to get off the bed, the muscles playing under the equally scarred skin of his broad back looking like steel cords. A few drops of water ran down from the short tail he’d braided his dark curls into that Legolas suddenly really wanted to lick off.
Their eyes met in the mirror opposite the bed when he came up behind his lover, wrapping his legs around Aragorn’s to keep him in place, and the other gave a semi-annoyed grunt.
But there was also real, deep worry in his beautiful grey eyes, a hint of pain, of grief for all the people the maybe-future King had had to let go in his life already. “You almost died on me today, Legolas.” Aragorn leaned his head back with a sigh when Legolas nibbled on his neck, his ear, pushing his tongue inside.
Apparently, his body had suddenly decided not to be too tired for a little fun, after all. “I’ll never do it again, alright?”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Aragorn reached back between them without letting go of his gaze in the reflection, biting his lip when he could both see and feel Legolas shudder from the tight grip of his hand on his quickly hardening cock.
“Can we stop talking about this when I really feel like fucking you senseless?” Legolas returned the favor by running his fingertips slowly up and down Aragorn’s chiseled chest, nails scraping lightly through the thin layer of fuzz he loved to bury his head against so much before he took his lover’s nipples in a tight grasp. “Put that damn blanket away. I want to see you.”
“Who says you’re the one who gets to do the fucking? I had to save you, remember? Victor’s merits.” Aragorn was apparently still in a pouting mood, but he obeyed, revealing the throbbing hardness between his legs in the mirror for Legolas’ hungry eyes.
Legolas twisted his nipples only harder, watching hungrily how a first drop of white collected at the head of his lover’s cock, a sight that had him lick his lips in anticipation. “Tell you something. You make it through five minutes of having my mouth on you without coming, then you can do with me whatever you want.”
“You’re selling yourself a little cheap, my dear elvish Princeling.” Aragorn grabbed him harder, visibly revelling in Legolas’ unrestrained moan. “In five minutes, I’m not even warm.”
“We’ll see about that.” Legolas wrapped his arms firmly around his chest and yanked him backwards on the bed a little, only to pull away then and kneel down in front of Aragorn instead, his legs spread widely so that his lover would get a very unambiguous view of his ass in that mirror. Grabbing Aragorn’s firm butt cheeks tightly, he lowered his head to lick a first broad stripe over his length.
He just enjoyed both his lover’s breathless groan and his well-known, grounded taste for a few long seconds, getting familiar again, finally, with the heavy weight of a mannish cock on his tongue, the heat filling his mouth and his body, his tongue dancing over every pumping vein, every ridge. He sucked both of his lover’s balls in his mouth and still managed to grin triumphantly when Aragorn yelped and buried both hands in his messy braids for purchase, whispering his name.
Five minutes had actually been quite generous.
Legolas backed away only long enough to look up, provocatively licking his lips, then he thrust his head down in one long, smooth motion, taking his lover’s cock in to the hilt.
He was very thankful that his chambers were quite soundproof, otherwise his father would probably have heard Aragorn’s scream all the way down in the throne room. Those large, calloused hands tightened in his hair, holding him right where he was while Aragorn bucked against him, fucking even deeper into his throat until Legolas’ face was nestled into the soft hair of his groin and all he could taste and smell and feel was his lover.
“You practiced,” Aragorn somehow managed to groan out.
Legolas gave a nonchalant, one sided shrug and swallowed only harder around the head of his cock, ignoring the beginning tightness in his chest in favor of stretching out his tongue more, bathing Aragorn’s spit-slick balls further. He’d held his breath longer than five minutes.
His skin was too tight, and heat was pooling in his middle, just from imagining, feeling that beautiful length not only spearing his throat open at some point this night. Not in the first round, of course, there was no way he would lose that game. He couldn’t resist letting go of his lover with one hand, reaching between his own legs. He made very sure to angle his hips in a way so that Aragorn could watch two of his fingers, glistening with thick drops of precum, circle his hole before slowly pushing in.
The little show was supposed to turn his lover on even more, and indeed he could feel Aragorn’s cock jerk in his mouth while he was moaning obscenely around him, moving his head up and down as much as his lover’s tight grip allowed it.
Unfortunately, the sight also seemed to distract the other far too much from what Legolas was doing with his mouth. The desperate moans on Aragorn’s lips turned into an appreciative growl, and he actually pulled Legolas’ head away a little so that all Legolas could do now was lick the sweet drops from the head of his cock if he stretched his tongue far enough.
“Very thoughtful of you to prepare yourself for me already,” Aragorn whispered hoarsely, his eyes shining with mirth when Legolas looked up at him in defiance and struggled to get his head back on his twitching length that was just out of reach. “Come on, my Prince, one more, then you can have my cock again. Don’t you want to show me how gorgeous you are, fucking yourself on your own hand?”
Legolas gave a protesting whine, but fuck, his own cock was rock-hard and also leaking enough for a little more slick, and his hole was too damn empty, besides, he always loved to please Aragorn, especially in bed.
Also, his time was almost up. “Cheater,” he growled, not unkindly, and then threw his head back with a lustful cry as he was stretching himself further open, while Aragorn’s gaze was fixed at that mirror.
His lover was licking his too-dry lips, his skin flushed from his broad chest to his groin, his dripping length straining against his leg. It was most possibly the prettiest thing on all of Middle-earth.
Legolas had hardly even opened his mouth for another needy mewl when Aragorn pulled him towards him again with a jerk, impaling his mouth on his length, Legolas’ braids wrapped around his hands now in a way that hardly left him a chance to free himself, even if he’d wanted to. His lover really wasn’t playing around now anymore, fucking his throat hard and fast, his swollen balls slapping against Legolas’ chin, and still the bastard just didn’t come.
“You’re not the only one who practiced,” Aragorn murmured to him between two especially loud moans. “But who knows? You could try to sing a little again for me, my sweet bird. That might help you win after all. Fuck yourself harder, come on. Show me how that tight little hole of yours will look when you’ll ride my cock.”
Tears were prickling at the corners of Legolas’ eyes from the lack of air and from the humiliation that he loved to hate so much but he didn’t hesitate for even a second shoving his fingers deeper, ignoring the delicious burn and stretch. Soon enough, they rubbed just the right place inside himself and he screamed around his lover’s cock, hips bucking when he came over his stomach and the bed before he knew.
His head dizzy, his body heavy, he only realized with half a thought that Aragorn was gently pushing him away, straightening out his braids in a tender gesture. Then his lover leaned forward to give his ass a harsh, admonishing slap, right on his swollen, twitching hole, leaving no doubt that this game was far from over yet. “Up. And turn around. I want to see how beautiful you look impaled on my cock, my sweet Prince.”
Well, so much for his bet.
Even while he was scrambling to obey, on shaking knees, still turned on beyond belief and actually half-hard again already, Legolas made a mental note that, should Aragorn and he ever happen to embark on some quest together, he should better leave the planning to his friend.
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How about fighting side by side with a friend, #Gimli ? -Aye, #Legolas , I can do that. #Lego #LordOfTheRings #LegoPhotography #minfigures
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@gossip-girl-of-middle-earth here, I’ll give you one more before I gotta get to bed x) Have some complicated sad boys
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Legolas: How petty can you get?
Mairon: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
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For @gossip-girl-of-middle-earth , for their mad Legolas/Sauron ship, where Sauron wins and Legolas offers himself up Scheherazade style to try and save his friends ( I just started doodling and went where it took me, hope it’s ok I did my version of Legolas!)
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1. "It's cold!" / "I'll keep you warm."
2. "I trust you." / "It wasn't a bad idea after all."
3. "I'm bored..." / "Let's make some pancakes together."
4. "Up to the moon only with thou." / "And the stars glitter for thou."
5. "Shut up!" / "Is that your way of saying I love you?"
6. "You're so fucking attractive." / "You're positively plastered."
7. "Why does it always have to end like that?" / "We will figure things out."
8. "How gentle." / "Exactly what I needed..."
9. "He called you, didn't he?" / "Mind your own business."
10. "They chased us!" / "We managed to escape."
11. "If her glare could kill, I would be twisting on the ground right now." / "What did you do?"
12. "Should we order a pizza?/ "Sounds tempting enough."
13. "What would you do if I kissed you right now?" / "Obviously, I'd kiss you back."
14. "Stop breathing so loudly!" / "Sorry. Is that okay?"
15. "Just tell her that." / "Such a pep talk..."
16. "Roses?" / "Only for my lady."
17. "Could you help me out?" / "I think we can dedicate this time to more interesting activities."
18. "I had a nasty day." / "Wanna some hot cocoa?"
19. "I'm in the mood." / "Oh, are you?"
20. "Is that a tequila bottle?" / "Let's play a game!"
21. "Stop teasing." / "Make me."
22. "Go away! Shouldn't see me like that..." / "You're being overprotective, you know that?"
23. "We shouldn't be doing that." / "Then tell me to stop."
24. "When would you finally take it under control?" / "Don't patronize me!"
25. "How can I help?" / "I'll see you around."
26. "Rejecting you was the worst moment of my life." / "You can't be serious."
27. "What's happening?" / "Please, stop asking questions for once."
28. "Stunning." / "I'm not sure about that."
29. "My bra-in is lag-ging." / "Nice catch!"
30. "No shagging restriction." / "Oh, at least don't deny the obvious."
31. "It hurts so freaking much." / "The resentment will eventually pass."
32. "What made you feel entitled to do that?" / "Sloppy romance."
33. "How tragical." / "So what do we do?"
34. "Next nightmare?" / "Cuddling..."
35. "Don't cross the borderline." / "Deal with the consequences."
36. "Just breathe." / "I hate to feel insecure when you're not around."
37. "Dance to this." / "I can teach you."
38. "Please, don't tell me it was you." / "You made your point."
39. "Why did he text you then?" / "Making sure I found a ride."
40. "Did you two fuck?!" / "Quiet!"
41. "Sometimes I hate you, sometimes I love you." / "I know you don't."
42. "I just want to erase that from my memory..." / "Sorry, love."
43. "Are those guys bothering you?" / "Let me take care of it."
44. "I can't reach the shelf!" / "Stop calling me that!"
45. "Switching sides!" / "That one was reserved for you."
46. "Did you think it was the only reason I came for?" / "You're incredibly vulnerable."
47. "Are you asking if I'm a single?" / "Okay... I-I will."
48. "It was obviously not platonic." / "I have a plan."
49. "Just trying to be intellectual." / "It seems to be a much better option."
50. "The situation drives me crazy!" / "The solution, it is."
51. (time pressure + a reliable friend) + "Could you be more careful with this mascara?" + "And could you stop moving around?"
52. (getting comfy) + "You are such a blanket hog."
53. (a LOT of possessiveness + a house party) + "I'm the only one who can stare at you like that."
54. (carefree atmosphere + a nightclub dancing) + "Are those magic mushrooms working for real?"
55. (an unexpected encounter) + "Haven't seen you in a while..."
56. (post-argument + heavy tension) + "I hate you too, princess."
57. (solicitous behavior + too many sneezes) + "I don't take no as an answer. A hot cup of tea is the best cure."
58. (sexually themed) + "Can I shampoo your hair?"
59. (very poor cooking abilities) + "I just tried to bake a cake!" + "I'll note not to give you the easy-explosive devices next time."
60. (soul mates) + "Finally found what I was looking for."
61. (ice skating + plenty of affection) + "I can't do that! I'm going to trip down!"
62. (shyness + birthday present) + "It's too valuable. I cannot take it."
63. (Paris + venereal mood) + "I wasn't talking about the view."
64. (protectiveness + emotionally needy) + "Shhh, it's all right, you're safe..."
65. (fancy gala + too elegant garments) + "Should we sneak out of here?"
66. (the lockdown) + "Shit! We're trapped!" + "I think it's not the obstacle."
67. (the lockdown + extremely prodigal pandemic habits) + "Could you read the book for me?"
68. (wearing masks + supernatural AU) + "You have to put this on." + "What's that thing?"
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Per the Legolas/Sauron ship situation, I've seen Beauty and the Beast mentioned, might I also suggest a 1000 Nights Sheherezade dynamic thrown in?
Ooh!! Don’t believe I’ve ever heard of that before—I did a quick search and I’m intrigued so far! I’d be keen to learn more though, especially regarding Mairon and Legolas, if you can help :D
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🧸 OCs and /or Mirkwood fam :D
(For this ask meme.)
🧸 - On a scale of 1 - 10, how ‘soft’ is your OC? 1 being the edgiest of edges and 10 being a literal teddy bear that cries at everything? (Bonus questions, where on the scale would your OC place themselves, and where would they like to be on the scale?)
Oh, this is such a good question, especially as applied to the Mirkwood family, because I’ve put a lot of thought into this and yet it’s still complicated!
So the simple answer is that I’ve sort of roughly divided the family into The Hard Ones and The Soft Ones. The Hard Ones are Thranduil and Laerwen (eventually), and The Soft Ones are Cuindis, Siril, and Legolas. But this is too simple, really - this is how Laerwen conceives of it, and how I draw the deliberate line, but there is a ton of nuance to all of this!
So, Thranduil I think is probably a 2 or a 3 on the scale. His lifetime of trauma dates back to way before Mirkwood became Mirkwood, even before the Last Alliance. I think we in fandom are pretty agreed about what a tragic life this guy has led, and the kinds of decisions he’s had to make, and it’s given him the ability to kind of...shut down his emotional side, at least temporarily. He feels emotions, but he can suppress them very effectively. But his family does have the ability to soften him - but only in certain circumstances, which grow less and less over time.
Cuindis is sort of “the softer one” in that couple, the one more in tune with emotions . . . but that’s an oversimplification of their roles. She definitely has a spine of steel and can be pretty ruthless when she wants to. Still, I would have to say she’s probably...a 7, maybe, on the scale.
I can’t talk about the next three - or really any of them - independent of one another, because there’s kind of a balance among all of them, and they create buffers for one another. Laerwen and Siril appear to have a similar kind of couple-balance, with Laerwen being The Hard One and Siril being The Soft One - and certainly this is how Laerwen conceptualizes it. She deliberately notices herself doing the same kind of emotion-shutting-down thing as her father, and counts on Siril to be her counter-balance for that. She also deliberately takes on the role of The Hard One in order to allow her counterparts - Siril and Legolas - to be softer. But she doesn’t always see the extent to which Thranduil is already doing that for her. So she’s maybe a 4 on the scale, but she conceptualizes herself as a 2, and she wishes she were maybe a 6 or 7.
Siril appears to the The Soft One of the two of them, but there are a lot of situations where Laerwen is breaking down and Siril has to be strong for her. (As is the case in couples, in general, I think. The give and take between them is - I hope - pretty even.) Siril is probably a 6 or 7 on the scale.
Legolas is the baby and the Softest; he is probably an 8 or 9. He has been forced by life to be hard in some cases; he has experienced intense trauma, but as soon as he was born, his family - particularly Laerwen - essentially tried to shield him as much from the emotional toll of it as possible. (Legolas, of course, picked up on this, and this is in my imagination part of the reason he’s so anxious - because he has the sense that Laerwen is trying to shield him and he wants to take as little of an emotional toll on her as he can.) Laerwen has made herself hard so he can be vulnerable, and he is a gentle soul with an emotional vulnerability that ironically makes him much more socially capable than his sister or his father, despite his overt anxiety.
All of this is still a simplification, of course, because people are complicated, but I’m so grateful you asked this question for the Mirkwood family because it’s something I’ve deliberately thought about a lot! I rambled so much just now, haha, sorry, but I hope you enjoyed it!
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IM THINKING ABOUT THEM
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expectations | bilbo + legolas
[ cont from here with @greenleafprinceling ]
Bilbo chuckled at Legolas’s comment on his skill with a blade, something he was rather conflicted about even still, but proud of none the less. He had saved a few lives, including his own with it since. A letter opener, indeed... When he returned home he would hang it over his fireplace mantel, a place of pride.
“I suspect not many of my kin would even believe the tales I might come home with...”
But he was glad to add a few more tales anyway along the trip back. Gandalf was originally meant to escort him back before Thranduil’s deal was struck. Bilbo wasn’t a young man anymore and he wasn’t so sure he was entirely suited for a life strictly in the Shire. Not any more. He couldn’t think of another hobbit that might share in his new outlook. Not one he wasn’t too closely related to at any rate.
He smiled as Legolas sent for stationary to quickly sent a letter. It was good that he was looking forward to this trip now as well. It showed promise for friendship at the very least. Bilbo let his write in peace, quietly sipping his wine and looking over the map. He thought the prince must have been telling the Lord and Lady of the Golden wood of their betrothal and greeting them as their stations dictated... and while Bilbo could only read a little elvish, it didn’t take a scholar to see it was taking Legolas much longer than expected to write his letter. Bilbo knew that elvish was quiet complicated, at least it seemed for one that wrote common, so perhaps he was judging incorrectly... Or the King, his father, and Lord Elrond just wrote terribly quickly. And the guards in the cellar.
“He seems... a difficult person, at times. Difficult to please.” Bilbo tried to gently coax a little more out of Legolas by agreeing with him over his father. It would be unwise to say anything terribly negative, of course, especially with other servants and guards about. But he decided to give Legolas an out as well, if he wasn’t comfortable in talking about such subjects just yet.
“Do all elves possess magic?”
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lotr fandom really did either go 'legolas is hot i'd fuck him' OR 'legolas is baby I'm adopting him'
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Mairon: Legolas and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's—
Mairon: Don't interrupt me, elf.
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Some WIP stuff for y’all
Legolas: So as your consort do I just lie around and look pretty?
Sauron: Absolutely not. You have to prove to all of Mordor you are worthy of me and thus must fight several duels, most of which are to the death
Legolas, now terrified: …what
Legolas: *freaking out*
The Outfitter: Anyway the Dark Lord is STILL pining for his lost love, so if you can just be really pretty he’ll TOTALLY fall in love with you
Legolas: Can I at least have a cape so that I look cool?
The Outfitter, shocked and appalled: NO CAPES!!!
yes she’s basically just Edna Mode what of it.
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okay question time
what do you guys wanna see me write? like, im working on chapter six but what do you guys wanna see atm?? it would help me out a lot of you guys answered hah
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🍺 for the mirkwood family :)
For this ask meme.
Ooh, this is a fun one to think about and one I haven’t given much thought to before! Let’s see how we do...
🍺 - What kind of drunk are they? (e.g. talkative, sleepy, flirty etc.)
(Appropriate for the elves of the, as you say, spooky rave forest, hehe. Also, I know Thranduil and Legolas are not technically OCs, but I’m including them anyway to round it all out.)
Thranduil: You know, I’m going to say no one has seen Thranduil properly drunk in an extremely long time. He either has an absurdly high tolerance even for a Mirkwood elf, or he’s just really good at masking the difference between his drunk-self and his sober-self. But I think this is maybe a more recent development, and Cuindis saw him drunk when they were younger and a little happier. I think drunk Thranduil is playful and loud, that he has the tendency to show off and make lots of speeches, and that he is exceptionally flirtatious with his wife. ;)
Cuindis: I’m not sure why I get this feeling, but I think Cuindis is a sleepy drunk. I think she probably hits her peak pretty early, maybe gets very loud for awhile, and then crashes hard and fast and spends the rest of the event draped off of Thranduil’s (or possibly someone else’s) shoulders, giggling in that sleepy way at inappropriate moments.
Laerwen and Legolas: I actually think these two have the same tendencies when drinking, which is that alcohol exacerbates whatever emotions they might be experiencing and typically induces both highs and lows. So I think they both probably get very giggly for awhile, laughing at everything, and then have that abrupt moment where you’re having fun and then all of a sudden you aren’t anymore and you feel sad and empty and lonely and don’t know how to fix it. So I think they can alternate between being very enthusiastic and being very morose.
Siril: Siril is hard! I think... I’m going to say she’s a talkative drunk. She tends to be pretty quiet when sober, cautious about the way she moves in the world, but she has a lot going on in her head. I think alcohol loosens her tongue a little and she suddenly starts sharing all her thoughts and insights and the things that she knows. She teeters along the fine line between extremely smart and makes-no-sense-at-all, and Laerwen thinks it’s extremely cute. ;)
Thank you so much for this ask! This was so much fun to think about. <3
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Okay I got a pretty neat multifandom request from loveliest @fucking-with-elves and I'm soooo excited to write it ohohoh
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The Fellowship watching Eurovision:
(because it’s Eurovision week and as a European I am morally obligated to write this)
he thinks it’s all a bunch of nonsense but still watches it every year without fail
accurately predicts the winner each year after first rehearsals, even if it’s not his favourite song
he knows the words to every single song somehow, even the ones in languages that he doesn’t speak
always roots for the countries that rarely qualify for the final
legitimately has never watched Eurovision before
only knows the Eurovision songs that Sam has sang near him or the ones he’s heard on the radio
complains about how Eurovision has become extremely politicised which goes completely against the reason it was founded
knows obscure statistics about how well different countries have performed at Eurovision
may secretly be part of one of the Scandinavian metal bands that seem to always qualify
rants about Australia being allowed to compete but he ends up supporting them anyway
pretends he doesn’t know what Eurovision is when anyone asks him (even if he’s listening to his Eurovision playlist)
watches it each year with Aragorn and Gimli, and is the biggest Eurovision fan out of the three of them
only watches the final (because the qualifying rounds have all the bad songs in)
has somehow managed to turn the section where the points are awarded into a drinking game
only knows the Eurovision songs that are popular on social media
he still votes each year, without listening to any of the songs - he just picks the song with the best title
critiques the singers’ outfits and staging constantly
loves the piano ballads (even though they all sound similar) and has a playlist dedicated solely to those ballads
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Random Legolas Greenleaf moments: 52/?
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