#dismissive avoidant

[with-reverence]

Unresolved abandonment is the root of self-sabotage.

Susan Anderson, The Journey From Abandonment to Healing

#Susan Anderson #quotes #The Journey from Abandonment to Healing #abandonment #abandonment wound #attachment theory #attachment styles #anxious attachment #psychotherapy #psychology #self help #mental health #fearful avoidant #dismissive avoidant #heal #self healing #self sabotage #self esteem #personal growth #personal development #breakup recovery #breakup

[abandonment-trauma]

Bouncing back and forth between “i don’t wanna be alone” and “i want to isolate myself” is quite the wild ride.

But incase you weren’t aware, these are both ways a fear of abandonment can show itself.

#abandonment trauma #abandonment #attachment trauma #mental health #dealing with grief #heartbroken #abandoned #abandonment issues #cptsd coping #fearful avoidant #attachment #anxious attachment #dismissive avoidant

[loveyourlovelysoul]

if you experienced a deep emotional pain and trauma (betrayal, abandonment, rejection that even relates to you being let down, not having your needs met/made feel too much or not enough and more), you may even develop a dismissive avoidant behaviour in order to save yourself for further pain. This means you try to avoid deep/close relationships (despite maybe even craving them), being vulnerable, letting people in. You may find it hard to trust other people, to ask for help, to talk about your feelings and needs in fear of being let down or abandoned once again so you may even prefer being more independent.

Try to be aware of this, of the triggers you get here and here, on the way your mind sabotages you by making you think or imagine stuff that don't even exist (from fake scenarios, to self-convincing you're not good for them or that other person is not right for you for the smallest detail -basically finding excuses to run away from a possible relationship-). Take a breath and try to realize the inner deep reasons of why this happens: what happened in your past that made you develop this fear? What were the reasons/situations in which you were made feel not enough or too much, you were abandoned, you got betrayed.... very likely reasons aren't on you directly.

Take time to grieve, and talk about your feelings and fears openly also with the other person. Do not fear being judged. Talk with your inner critic (it may be pretty harsh with you especially if you grew up being often gaslighted or criticized/judged) and find a balance with them. Things don't have to be exactly as them want you to think or imagine like. Try to trust a little more, to let go a bit more, despite it's so scary and sometimes difficult cause your thoughts, especially if you're overwhelmed, may just start flowing and make you spiral pretty fast. Take a breath and try to ground by taking a little time out before talking things out with yourself. Try to change your point of you: what if you're wrong, what if you're just scared cause it's something different but not dangerous?

Ask for help to a professional too if you need. Please, do not let this block you and make you avoid stuff that deep down you may even want for yourself.

#words #healing #important #positivity #thoughts #self love #positive thinking #self healing #healingjourney #love yourself #dismissive avoidant #life #life lessons #trauma #emotional trauma #emotions #tw childhood trauma #self care

[elegyofdionysus]

It's so weird. I can only be myself around people who don't know me.

#writers on tumblr #shygirl #double life #masking #hiding #Pretending #If i bared myself to you would you love me #fear of rejection #fear of abandonment #dismissive avoidant #avoidant attachment #low self worth

[aafiizaa]

My Dear Avoidant

As we get older, we will realise that mutual connection is rare.

So if you do find someone you could connect with, do not sabotage that.

Do not sabotage with “I’m not ready to commit”, or “I will never give you that part of me”.

Or the best one yet, “It is not you, it is me”.

Cause we may never get to experience this again.

And I will wonder if there was something I could have done differently then.

To make you see that you are worthy.

That you too indefinitely deserve love and intimacy.

See, I do not know what had happened to you.

But I will pray that you will eventually emerge through.

You do not have to do everything independently.

It is okay to let others in and embrace vulnerability.

#avoidant #anxious avoidant #avoidant attachment #dismissive avoidant #fearful avoidant

[kingess]

Dark mother how do you manipulate a male that's got a dismissive avoidant attachment style?

Boars with avoidant attachment

The truth is, you want to stay away from them. Romantically, platonically and physically. The only way to get anything out of them is beating them on their own game; which is tedious. It's not worth the work imo and if you've accidentally slipped into it already, chances are, you have emotions invested. My condolences, please run.

In order to get anything out of them you'd have to:

Act colder than anyone you know.

Demean him in every way possible.

Disrespect him from the bottom of your heart.

Keep talking to him even though you despise him and only talk about yourself and your own problems even though he'll withdraw when he senses criticism.

Understand that he WILL deem you as "less capable of a human being" because you "don't suffocate your emotions".

This, however, is the sole reason why he'd be interested because he wants to feel useful, important and superior without putting in emotional effort.

He's used to feeling responsible for everyones emotional states since childhood, hates it, and seeks it.

DO NOT TRY TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT EMOTIONS BETWEEN YOU TWO.

Think Wednesday Addams writing a diary but it's you chatting with him.

An unhealed dismissive avoidant male is the worst kind of a situation you can get entangled with, as well as the easiest if you struggle with abandonment wounding. Stay mindful and safe. It's also easy because they don't require much from you, so you have your own peace to work in the loneliness.

Disclaimer: This post is a reference to dark dating not love advice & isn't recommended for real usage without a rightful dire need.

#attachment styles #girlboss #dark femininity #female manipulator #maneater #manipulate men #high class heaux #wednesday addams #dark psychology #trauma bonding #spoiledblr #art of seduction #gold digger #dismissive avoidant #toxic tips #gaslight gatekeep girlboss

[cooki3face]

I’m naturally a very vulnerable and emotional person in absolutely almost every aspect of my life except one. With my mother and in familial relationships and connections. I always said that I am not family oriented and I probably won’t be until I create and start my own family. I find that I have trouble when it comes to tolerating my mother and other members of my family when they start behaving badly or exuding toxic behaviors and ideas. I cannot even watch my mother cry about anything without becoming aggravated or annoyed, I cannot accept affection from my mother without becoming aggravated or annoyed and in the event that she starts trying to “parent” me or be a mother to me or demand my respect or obedience I’ve always become annoyed and aggravated. I fall into a spectrum really of having an anxious attachment style whilst having an avoidant dismissive attachment style in matters of family and within the home. Even throughout my mothers mistreatment, I don’t respond to it with sadness or crying I’m more likely to be angry and immediately be on the defense. But, I’m likely to respond with sadness and crying in other areas of my life that are equally as painful/frustrating or emotionally draining if not “more”.

I think that I am more closely anxiously attached in romantic relationships and connections within my life or I have been in the past and I am more avoidant dismissive avoidant in familial relationships.

I believe that, some of this is a result of me having an emotionally immature parent as well, I’ve been put in the position of an adult or a parent for a long time for someone who was supposed to be an adult/parent to me. So, to see vulnerability or emotional instability within my parent, or to feel affection from my parent, does not go over well with me at all and triggers me.

I’ve also noticed that it is extremely difficult for me to build profound relationships with members of my family. Even those that I love or admire, I’m not as moved by them as I would be people who are apart of other aspects of my life who aren’t related to me. I have siblings, and people always tell me that I hive off only child energy and I’ve always remained unattached to them and am not tolerant or patient of any of their behaviors that are harmful or toxic to me or others. Deaths in the family don’t necessarily shake me either, even if I love and admire you in my own way.

#anxious attachment #avoidant dismissive #dismissive avoidant #attatchment styles #self love #self care #self improvement #self discovery #self expression #healingjourney #self healing #maternal line #mother trauma #childhood healing #self awareness #emotionally immature parents

[occhiolism888]

it’s so crazy. i met someone. i like him. he is a walking green flag. he’s so charming. and we get along so well. but the closer we get, the more we text, the more i get the feeling this is getting serious, he even told me he likes me… i get this urge, deep inside of me, like a knife that is turning in my stomach, to distance myself. i don’t want him to get to know me. i don’t want him to know what i think.

but… why?

i like him?

why am i acting like this?

why can’t i just for the first time in my life when the right person walks into my life act right?

i want to let him in but it’s like the more i want to let him in… i automatically try to build a polar energy that tries to dim this desire.

it’s like i don’t allowed it myself.

how do i end this cycle…

#insecure attachement #attachement style #attachement #actually avoidant #dismissive avoidant #avoidant #avoidant pd #avoidant attachment

[cat-eye-nebula]

Psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera makes short Tiktok videos about toxic dysfunctional dynamics between parents and their children or between romantic partners so that the viewer can better understand how diverse trauma developed and how it can look like. Good for people who think they had a normal childhood but they now have anxiety, depression, addictions, low self esteem and so on.

On Tiktok: the holistic psychologist / Dr. Nicole LePera

#her videos are so good #psychologist #tiktok #Dr. Nicole LePera #advice #learning #research #self help #anxiety #healing #addiction #low self worth #low self esteem #attachment issues #attachment styles #fearful avoidant #dismissive avoidant #anxious attachment #trauma recovery #trauma healing #mental health #therapy #mental wellbeing #childhood #psychology #emotional intelligence #emotional instability

[the-biophile]

Being a person with an avoidant attachment style is hard. People look at you like why you do what you do and you can't explain to each and everyone about your triggers and how overwhelming it is to be feeling what you're feeling. It's not that we choose to be this way. Our traumas have made us into this. Yes, it is our responsibility to heal but please be patient with us because we are broken and we need healing and we deserve love too though we cause the most pain. I hope the avoidants get to heal and i hope no one ever has to go through pain because of an avoidant cause that sucks too.

#avoidant attachment #attachment styles #fearful avoidant #dismissive avoidant

[sroseh]

My dismissive avoidant ass when someone tries to do weird shit like ‘offer affection’, ‘show love’, and ‘admit they have a crush on me’:

#stop that shit #it’s embarrassing #me #personal #avoidant attachment #dismissive avoidant #attachment theory #attachment #emotional attachment #psychology #child psychology #family #love #dating #boyfriend #girlfriend #romance #affection #anxious attachment

[with-reverence]

For all of its pain and intensity, abandonment serves as a catalyst for profound personal growth.

Susan Anderson, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing

#Susan Anderson #The Journey from Abandonment to Healing #quotes #heal #abandonment wound #abandonment #personal growth #personal development #psychotherapy #psychology #attachment styles #attachment theory #anxious attachment #fearful avoidant #dismissive avoidant #self worth #self help #self esteem #mental health #breakup recovery #breakup

[zoewest]

What is dismissive avoidant

Dismissive avoidant attachment is a type of attachment style that is characterized by a fear of intimacy and a need for independence. People with dismissive avoidant attachment styles often view close relationships as a threat to their independence and self-reliance. They may also have a negative view of others, believing that they are not capable of providing emotional support. As a result, people with dismissive avoidant attachment styles often avoid close relationships or keep their partners at a distance.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to the development of dismissive avoidant attachment style, including:

Early childhood experiences: People who have experienced neglect, abandonment, or abuse in their early childhood may be more likely to develop dismissive avoidant attachment styles. These experiences can teach children that they cannot rely on others for support and that they must be self-sufficient in order to survive.

Personality traits: People who are high in neuroticism or low in agreeableness may be more likely to develop dismissive avoidant attachment styles. These personality traits can make it difficult for people to trust others and to feel comfortable in close relationships.

Life experiences: Traumatic events, such as the death of a loved one or a divorce, can also contribute to the development of dismissive avoidant attachment styles. These events can make people feel insecure and distrustful of others, which can lead them to avoid close relationships.

If you have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, there are a number of things you can do to improve your relationships. First, it is important to understand why you are afraid of intimacy and why you need so much independence. Once you understand your own attachment style, you can start to work on changing your behaviors.

Here are some tips for improving your relationships if you have a dismissive avoidant attachment style:

Challenge your negative beliefs about relationships. If you believe that close relationships are a threat to your independence or that others cannot be trusted, challenge these beliefs. Think about the evidence that supports and contradicts these beliefs.

Practice being vulnerable. Vulnerability is an essential part of close relationships. If you want to have close relationships, you need to be willing to share your thoughts and feelings with others. Start by being vulnerable with people you trust, such as close friends or family members.

Communicate your needs. If you want your partner to meet your needs, you need to communicate them clearly. Tell your partner what you need from them in terms of support, affection, and intimacy.

Be patient. Changing your attachment style takes time and effort. Don't expect to change overnight. Just keep practicing the tips above and you will eventually start to see results.

#dismissive avoidant #dismissive #avoidant #attachment style

[loveyourlovelysoul]

How may you self sabotage your relationships (dismissive-avoidants)? -you are scared of getting closer to the other or being intimate -aren't comfortable with emotions and fear relationships will only bring drama and competition -you put up walls, are never really present (walls don't let you get out), make excuses (and create resentment), withhold love and words/acts of affection -your person sees you as distant, cold and uninterested in the relationship: they do all the job, but from your scarce or passive-aggressive feedback it feels not enough so they feel unworthy; you may also directly push them away. Remember you may not be aware of any of these: it's very often your subconscious doing all the job for you.

The problem ofc is that you are anxious and insecure, scared of getting close, letting someone in and being hurt and abandoned "as it has always been". Probably it has been so also because you always pushed everyone away (very likely cause of the way you're used to see relationships and the way you've been treated as a child). The only way to get over this is to try and be more open and vulnerable. To trust others. And don't let your fears and subconscious mind get in the way of your happiness. Ofc not every relationship will work, you may end up being hurt again, but you'll survive it. Always. The moment you trust and try to be true and open, you will at least have no regrets and no guilt: you did all you could for your relationship. Lower your barrier, try to communicate and be a little more present for the other, as they are for you. Relationships cannot be one-sided.

Be aware of what you generally do, if there are triggers in your relationship, if you try to close off from the other, if you have troubles speaking about emotions, if you criticize the other... And then make a change. Or ask for help to a professional figure. Take you time to change your mental pattern, but also be open about it with the other person. Ask them for help too, for example when you close off: tell them to please come to reach for you (but don't push them away if they do!!)

#words #healing #positivity #self love #important #positive thinking #healingjourney #thoughts #self healing #love yourself #self sabotage #relationships #abandonment issues #tw trauma #dismissive avoidant #psychology #learning #mental health #recovery #reminders #self discovery #self care #self improvement #personal growth #self growth #emotions #emotional growth #emotional health

[ccomelantartidee]

Avoidant attachment style

As a sensitive and empathetic person, people with an avoidant attachment style are the ones that scare me the most.

However, I’m convinced that they’re often blamed too much and not really being understood, they’re described as the villains in the stories when they’re actually just insecure and keep hiding or running away from any type of relationship as soon as they can.

I wish attachment styles were a lot more discussed as a topic in our society.

Once you get to study the different styles it’s a lot easier not to get close to people that will probably end up hurting you, especially if you’re a very sensitive person, not because they’re bad, but more likely because they’re not used to real connections, they’re deeply scared of them and tend to avoid any type of closure.

Here you can find two super interesting videos about avoidant attachment style, easily explained.

Check it out if you wanna know more! Hope this helps someone out there🤍

Much love✨🤍

#attachment issues #attachment styles #avoidant attachment #anxious attachment #relationship #relationship quotes #psychology #anxienty #attachment theory #disorganized attachment #secure attachment #dismissive avoidant #compatibility and personality #personality types #avoidant personality disorder #mental health #Youtube

[solaris-ots]

I just did a quiz to find out what my attachment style is and I feel so seen. As I get older, I notice some of the associated traits amplified in myself. Whew.

What do I do now?

Here’s what I know:

44% Fearful Avoidant

38% Dismissive Avoidant

13% Anxious Preoccupied

6% Securely Attached

#attachment styles #fearful avoidant #dismissive avoidant #anxious preoccupied #securely attached #secure attachment #what do I do now that I know? #internal monologue #journal