#secure attachment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vizthedatum · 6 months

Text

I will not excuse abuse or disregard for my feelings/boundaries.

I will not enable my insecure attachment to a person who consistently exhibits this behavior.

I understand that maintaining insecure attachments is not the same as maintaining a relationship.

I will not settle for the veil of safety.

I want real safety.

I want real relationships.

73 notes · View notes

kenmakaminari · 1 year

Text

Having a disorganized attachment style is so weird and frustrating. Because, like, I want and crave love and attention but the second someone tries to show me it I push them away and shut down. Because that's scary, if they give me affection then they'll either leave, or want something back, and I'm not ready to find out what kind of payment they'll want.

#psychology #disorganized attachment #trauma #ptsd #childhood trauma #attachment styles #attachment #cptsd #cptsd problems #anxious attachment #secure attachment #fearful avoidant #avoidant attachment #mental health

223 notes · View notes

anersatzelevator · 4 months

Text

PLEASE

Complete this test for my masters thesis. It takes only 5 minutes. Thank you so much.

Please reblog and share if you can

#psych #psychology #therapy #signal boost #please boost #secure attachment #attachment style #love #relationships #relationship

46 notes · View notes

shoalofone · 8 months

Text

been seeing a lot of hate for people with avoidant attachment style and I just want you to know that I love you, you aren't a bad person, you aren't a narcissist, you aren't manipulative, you were traumatized and I hope you are healing.

All unsecure attachment styles need to go to therapy

#🦑.text #avoidant attachment #anxious attachment #secure attachment #attachment styles #positive

62 notes · View notes

cooki3face · 5 months

Text

Healing attachment styles:

When you have an attatchment style like anxious especially or even detatched/avoidant, or even disorganized you may fall into karmic cycles and habits that pull you to love someone wholeheartedly (or in some cases be infatuated with someone,obsessive, or attatched) who you know on a subconscious level isn’t going to fulfill your needs or isn’t able or capable of giving you what you need out of a relationship. You may desire true love, you may desire deep connections, true intimacy, passion, safety, etc. and all of these wonderful things BUT the love and attention you’re used to receiving (even on a fundamental level because attatchment styles are developed early) isn’t what is going to meet your needs. And your idea of what love or what it means or be valued or desired is skewed or warped. So, now when you’re presented with a healthy individual who is capable of caring for you and capable of giving you what you need, you may run from that person or find yourself uninterested or unable to connect with them. But, you are familiar with unhealthy relationships and behavioral patterns and so when presented with those, you find yourself easily attached or feeling some semblance of safety or belonging in those connections.

Start potentially thinking about what types of things you want or desire in your relationships. Don’t pass judgment on yourself or on these things just yet, just reflect. Be honest with yourself. Think about your ideas about what it means to love and be loved as well.

Try to identify what type of attachment style you may have. Look into the attachment styles, think about your parents and the way they handled you as a child or in your youth, etc.

Start thinking about what types of things trigger you or make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable in your relationships. (People canceling last minute plans, being left alone, when you start to become close with someone, etc.)

Ask yourself why these triggers may exist. There’s always a root cause of something you’re feeling however small it may seem on the surface. (Example: you may have a tendency to withdraw when things become serious or when you feel close to someone or when things are going well within a connection. This reflects a fear of deeper commitment or deeper vulnerability and connection. If you are open and receptive, your person may abandon you, may hurt your feelings or may decide to leave you and you don’t feel prepared to deal with or feel the emotional consequences of a situation like that.)

Learn how to be reflective and how to identify the way you feel. Easier said than done for most. But it helps to begin this journey with yourself first, you can practice journaling or sitting with yourself to reflect on how you feel and identify how you feel. If you don’t know how you feel right away when a situation arises, that’s okay, give yourself a moment to come to a conclusion and reflect. (Maybe you feel embarrassed, maybe you feel shameful, maybe you feel guilty, angry, sad, etc.) when you find out how you feel, you can begin to ask yourself why.

You can begin to learn how to communicate with others now. This part is difficult too. You may have to overcome a fear of vulnerability, a fear of rejection, a fear of being misunderstood, a fear of burdening others with your emotions/needs. When given a situation where you feel some kind of way in a connection whether it be platonic or romantic, you can take small steps by learning how to set boundaries, by making sure you tell people what you dislike or what you may feel hurt your feelings or made you feel uncomfortable about their behavior (AFTER you reflect on how you feel, during this process, it’s important you learn to be proactive instead of reactive.) in order to communicate effectively, you must see yourself clearly first.

Healing an attachment style is a big feat, it’s not an easy task, there will be moments where you’ll have to identify if you’re triggered or if someone has intentionally caused you harm or has mistreated you, you’re going to have to be able to communicate through that and be able to self reflect and be still for a while whilst you ground your energy and come to terms with your feelings.

There will absolutely be moments where you may make the mistake of accepting bad things or you may fall into karmic cycles or be tempted by people and things and you’ll need to think about what you deserve vs what you feel pulled to from a wounded aspect of yourself.

There will be moments where significant others in your life like partners and especially parents are people you’re going to have to hold accountable or take off of a pedestal and see honestly.

***

The emotion wheel:

Attachment style chart:

38 notes · View notes

lycheeteeni · 24 days

Text

🔒Recluse Heart ❤️‍🩹

In the shadows, distant and aloof,

Lies a heart guarded, a soul that's proof.

Reclusive in love's embrace,

With walls erected, a lonely space.

Emotions hidden, locked away tight,

In the caverns of a wary night.

Intimacy feared, vulnerability shunned,

In the dance of love, they stand undone.

They retreat to solitude's quiet call,

Preferring the silence, the soft night's thrall.

Averse to closeness, they shy away,

From the warmth of love's gentle sway.

Commitment a burden, a weight to bear,

They fear losing freedom, trapped in love's snare.

Mixed signals sent, a tangled thread,

Leaving their partner lost and misled.

Their needs unspoken, their desires veiled,

In the depths of their soul, a longing jailed.

Minimizing problems, sweeping them aside,

Leaving wounds unhealed, hearts unsatisfied.

But beneath the mask, a longing yearns,

For connection true, for love that burns.

In the caverns of their guarded heart,

Lies the hope for a brand new start.

So tread with patience, tread with care,

For love's light can pierce through despair.

With understanding, empathy's art,

Love can heal the reclusive heart.

JI

04-03-24

12 notes · View notes

frommyfavoritebooks · 6 months

Text

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest and I really took that to heart back then. I wish someone had told me that love isn’t torture. Because I thought love was this thing that was supposed to tear you in two and leave you heartbroken and make your heart race in the worst way. I thought love was bombs and tears and blood. I did not know that it was supposed to make you lighter, not heavier. I didn’t know it was supposed to take only the kind of work that makes you softer. I thought love was war. I didn’t know it was supposed to…I didn’t know it was supposed to be peace.

- Daisy Jones & the Six, Taylor Jenkins Reid

#marriage #married #daisy jones #daisy jones and the six #taylor jenkins reid #husband #wife #peace #love bomb #true love #secure attachment #anxious attachment #avoidant attachment #attachment

30 notes · View notes

marsduality · 11 months

Text

Questions to Assess For Secure Attachment

From Diane Poole Heller's The Power of Attachment

Do you want to be close to others, find it easy to connect, and expect relationships to go well?

Do you feel relaxed most of the time with the people who are close to you?

Do you transition between alone time and time together fluidly without much difficulty?

Do you and your partner apologize easily and work for win-win solutions to any conflicts that arise?

Do you believe that people are basically good at heart?

It is important to you to meet the needs of the people who are close to you?

Do you easily and clearly ask to have your own needs met?

Are you present with your loved ones and free yourself from distractions when connecting?

Do you work to maintain safety in your relationships, and do you protect those with whom you feel close?

Are you affectionate with those with whom you feel close?

Do you respect others’ needs for privacy?

How important are healthy boundaries to you?

Do you leave when things are too off in a relationship, knowing there are other great options for fulfilling relationships?

Do you make time to play regularly?

#secure attachment #secure attachment skills #diane poole heller #the power of attachment #attachment style stuff #highlights from currently reading

61 notes · View notes

awareness-and-healing · 2 years

Text

There are 4 Adult attachment styles in relationships:

1. Anxious (also referred to as Preoccupied)

2. Avoidant (also referred to as Dismissive)

3. Disorganized (also referred to as Fearful-Avoidant)

4. Secure

#attachment styles #anxious attachment #avoidant attachment #disorganized attachment #secure attachment #instagram #your.relationship.reset #always learning

339 notes · View notes

opulence-is-decadence · 1 year

Text

They're just like me lol

#tag yourself #anxious avoidant #secure attachment #boygenius #avoidant attachment #I'm avoidant with a dash of anxious

50 notes · View notes

vizthedatum · 4 months

Text

I really want to be more securely attached with… everything in my life. AND be secure within myself to know when I need to leave a connection or occupation.

Sigh, I’m working on all of it.

#anxious preoccupied #attachment #secure attachment #healing #trauma #neurodivergence

8 notes · View notes

pocket-poly · 5 months

Text

Thank you redgrasshopper

For coming into my life during the biggest Upheaval, and just offering your hand to hold, a shoulder to cry, and ear to listen. I could have turned cold, hardened, and distant but you didn't let me. You held space, showed me how to love and see myself through your eyes, and in that grew a relationship that everyday shocks me at how amazing what we have is. I love you in ways I have never felt and you love me in ways I have never been loved. I am thankful every moment to have you in my life, your impact ripples positively throughout my whole life, and I fall more in love with you every single day.

#redgrasshopper #polyamorous #polyamory #polyamourous #dating #boyfriend #polyam #poly life #married dating #healing #healingjourney #healthy after trauma #secure attachment

9 notes · View notes

anersatzelevator · 4 months

Text

Please please mutuals help!

Hi! I need help for my masters degree investigation. . It takes less than five minutes to complete.

Eternally grateful!!!

Please click this link to complete and reblog if not

#psychology #therapy #attachment style #avoidant #anxious #love #relationships #psych #secure attachment

25 notes · View notes

ccomelantartidee · 3 months

Text

youtube

Avoidant attachment style

As a sensitive and empathetic person, people with an avoidant attachment style are the ones that scare me the most.

However, I’m convinced that they’re often blamed too much and not really being understood, they’re described as the villains in the stories when they’re actually just insecure and keep hiding or running away from any type of relationship as soon as they can.

I wish attachment styles were a lot more discussed as a topic in our society.

Once you get to study the different styles it’s a lot easier not to get close to people that will probably end up hurting you, especially if you’re a very sensitive person, not because they’re bad, but more likely because they’re not used to real connections, they’re deeply scared of them and tend to avoid any type of closure.

Here you can find two super interesting videos about avoidant attachment style, easily explained.

Check it out if you wanna know more! Hope this helps someone out there🤍

Much love✨🤍

youtube

#attachment issues #attachment styles #avoidant attachment #anxious attachment #relationship #relationship quotes #psychology #anxienty #attachment theory #disorganized attachment #secure attachment #dismissive avoidant #compatibility and personality #personality types #avoidant personality disorder #mental health #Youtube

5 notes · View notes

nerfyerfperf · 1 year

Text

Who the FUCK has a secure attachment style, is that even real or just the imaginary ideal?

#fearful avoidant #attachment styles #secure attachment #in my top posts

60 notes · View notes

lycheeteeni · 15 days

Text

Salvation of the Knight 🗡️

In shadows deep, where curses twist,

A knight resides, by fear's tight fist.

His armor gleams with ghostly sheen,

A fortress stout, yet void within.

Cursed to dread love's tender touch,

His heart encased, in armor clutch.

Each beat a lament, each breath a sigh,

Trapped within, no chance to fly.

But whispers tell of a maiden fair,

Whose love could rend the darkest snare.

With hair like spun silk, eyes of grace,

She wandered near, with gentle pace.

With gentle hand, she dared to reach,

Past iron bars, her love to teach.

Her touch, a flame upon his soul,

Began to melt the icy hold.

Through trials endured and shadows faced,

Her love the light in darkness traced.

The curse unravelled, the armor broke,

As love's sweet magic they awoke.

Hand in hand, they faced the dawn,

Their hearts entwined, no fear to spawn.

For in each other's arms, they'd found,

The strength to rise, love unbound.

And so the knight, once trapped in gloom,

Now walks in light, no longer doomed.

With love as guide, they'll forever be,

A tale of hope, for all to see.

JI

04-11-24

9 notes · View notes