#anxious attachment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autopsyfreak · 2 days

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my attachment style is both anxious and avoidant.

i have a hard time expressing that i care about you but don’t you dare leave me

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theambitiouswoman · 9 months

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Attachment Styles in Relationships

Attachment styles are the ways people feel and act in relationships, based on their early experiences with parent or guardian. There are four main types:

Secure Attachment:

Healthy: Feeling comfortable with your partner and being able to share your feelings and needs openly. Trusting them and supporting each other without feeling overly worried about the relationship.

Unhealthy: Becoming overly dependent on your partner, feeling anxious or upset if they spend time away, or constantly seeking reassurance and validation.

Anxious Attachment:

Healthy: Expressing your emotions and needs to your partner, and valuing emotional closeness. Feeling secure when your partner reassures you and staying connected during difficult times.

Unhealthy: Constantly worrying about your partner leaving you, feeling jealous and possessive, or becoming too clingy and demanding in the relationship.

Avoidant Attachment:

Healthy: Valuing your independence and personal space while still being supportive and caring toward your partner. Understanding your emotions and expressing them in a balanced way.

Unhealthy: Pushing your partner away emotionally, avoiding discussions about feelings or conflicts, or being emotionally distant and unavailable.

Disorganized Attachment:

Healthy: Recognizing and addressing past traumas, working on building trust and emotional stability.

Unhealthy: Reacting impulsively or unpredictably in relationships due to unresolved traumas, struggling with forming and maintaining deep emotional connections, or experiencing extreme emotional highs and lows.

#healthy relationship #toxic relationship #relationships #relationship advice #personal improvement #personal development #emotional attachment #attachment issues #anxious attachment #avoidant attachment #attachment styles #glow up tips #level up journey #personal growth #self development #self improvement #self help #mental health #self love

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bigbuffcheetopuff1312 · 1 month

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You think YOU’RE tired of my BPD?

Guess what, so am I.

At least you’re not stuck with this shit 24/7

#bpd #bpd things #actually borderline #anxious attachment #actually bpd #bpd feels #bpd vent #bpd problems #bpd thoughts

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piendoll · 2 months

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It is hard resisting being so clingy and begging for constant attention. But I know it is wrong. But. I still yearn so badly for their complete attention. It is so hard not talking to them and giving them space. All I do is wait for their attention.

#text #fp vent #bpd vent #borderline blog #bpd #actually borderline #borderline things #bpd blog #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #fp things #bpd fp #anxious attachment #attachment issues #obsessive thoughts #obsession

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ratcate · 4 months

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#mental health comic #anxious attachment #self sabotage

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bunnighost · 7 months

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#vent edit #trauma vent #traumacore #abandonment issues #anxious attachment #don't leave me #abandoned #childhood trauma #actuallytraumatized #cptsd

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conscious-love · 1 year

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When love is unreliable and you are a child, you assume that it is the nature of love – its quality – to be unreliable. Children do not find fault with their parents until later. In the beginning the love you get is the love that sets.

Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

#Jeanette Winterson #love #attachment style #insecure attachment #anxious attachment #avoidant attachment #attachment theory #trust #trust issues #relationship #breakup #heartbreak #recovery #healing #self awareness #personal development #personal growth #quotes

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with-reverence · 10 months

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Unresolved abandonment is the root of self-sabotage.

Susan Anderson, The Journey From Abandonment to Healing

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exclusivelyhomosexual · 1 year

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Disorganized (aka fearful-avoidant) attachment style is overanalyzing/overcorrecting when you think your partner might be pulling away from you, but then pulling away from them when they draw close to you.

It is both craving AND fearing intimacy so deeply that you grip people tight in your hands lest they leave you, but keep them at an arms length lest they love you.

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twinkdrama · 1 year

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fictional characters exist so people with attachment issues have something to obsess over

#attachment issues #anxious attachment #avoidant attachment #disorganised attachment #bpd #mine #100 #500

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mymidwestheart · 6 months

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#accurate #anxious attachment #relationships

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simplyjustagirlsblog · 9 days

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theambitiouswoman · 11 months

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You can’t control other people. You can only control your reaction.

The need to control can be an insecurity. Insecurity and anxiety can lead to controlling behavior. Instead of using healthy coping skills, controlling people want to control the world around them in an effort to feel better. The need to control is similar to anxious attachment and abandonment issues in that they all stem from a fear of losing control.

People with anxious attachment styles tend to sacrifice their happiness for their partners, need constant reassurance, and have an overall fear of abandonment. On the other hand, people who have a need to control may also have a fear of abandonment and may try to control their environments or relationships as a way of avoiding this fear.

#self confidence #emotional attachment #anxious attachment #self help #selfimprovement #self love #selfhelp #personal improvement #personal development

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vesora · 1 year

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dealing with fear of abandonment through LOA + general tips

personal backstory / long post ahead

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” ― Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

as a child, my needs were not met and therefore, i developed a schema that people were meant to disappoint me and leave me and my relationships, both platonic and romantic reflected EXACTLY that.

countless times, i was ‘left’ without any reason, always strengthening the notion i had always felt that people were meant to abandon me. even if i was close to someone, i would still engage in self-sabotaging behaviours when i felt disappointed by the expectations i had set for them. feeling this lack of control when it came to relationships because i was so deathly afraid of being left alone; of disappointing the other. not putting myself first because i felt the only sense of worth i had was through whether another found me worthy. this is all very hard for me to say of course, im a private person but i felt maybe someone at least needed to hear this. my parent would be nice at one point and disinterested in the other, i felt i had to work to gain their approval and for them to be nice to me all the time. i needed them to view me as perfect, so they wouldn’t leave me. but guess what guys? thats stupid, bcos fuck perfection.

in my abandonment activation strategies/self-sabotaging behaviours, my body would go into a state of desperation, in dire need of any sort of relief and safety, crying my heart out because i was so scared, leaving people because i was scared of being left first. being scared i was being clingy by asking for reassurance which in turn sends me into another frenzy, isolating myself from people so i have no chances to be hurt, feeling resentment when someone doesnt meet my expectations/needs through no fault of their own. my inner child would just take over my body, repeating the same distress i experienced as a kid.

but i am not a kid anymore. i am a well-functioning adult and i cannot continue this abandonment schema. so what do i do?

i use loa.

how to use loa + general tips for this:

recognise that everything and everyone is you pushed out. your relationships play out the way you assume they will. this is not to say at all what happened when you were a child was your fault. we are not to blame. our needs were simply not met.

change the way you view relationships, no matter how hard it may be. if everyone is just us, how can anyone else abandon us? not even that, why would anyone leave us? we are amazing and fun and good people

be someone YOU are proud of, irrespective of what other people think. all is mind, so why do you think you need to impress someone who’s just another part of you? a part that can easily be molded

you are not clingy. you are not desperate. you are not unworthy. you are not unlovable. repeat affirmations that you are lovable. that you deserve to have your needs met. that everyone meets your needs. that you never feel abandoned. that you love yourself unconditionally. YOU are on the pedestal, NOT anyone else.

if someone is emotionally unavailable, this DOES NOT mean they do not love or care about you! they might be busy, not be well-versed with showing emotions in a healthy way, express their love in a different way than yours or they may simply be going through something in their lives right now.

when this happens, you can talk to the person about it and usually in my experience, the person understands and reassures me that they still love me and that we are okay. if a person is not willing to make sure you are okay, maybe rethink their position in your lives. you are the pedestal, not them. now just because someone reassures you doesn’t mean you don’t work on yourself. you do work on yourself through LOA and useful strategies.

take deep belly breaths when you feel yourself get triggered. it is okay. you are going to be okay, i promise. the next day im sure you will feel fine. it is not the end of the world, i promise you. the world IS you. just change it.

reassure your inner child and your adult self that you are okay now. you are the best version of yourself right now. you are safe. you are secure. you are not in danger. your life is in YOUR hands. YOU are in control. YOU created this life. the only way to change it is within.

if you feel impatient and you want things to change IMMEDIATELY, i.e. when youre having a panic attack, take deep breaths and remember this is temporary. remember you are in control of what happens but also do not be attached to any outcome, just have faith that everything works out in your favour.

if you feel resentment when someone doesn’t meet your expectations, do NOT use strategies to hurt them or leave them. just calm down and view them with a gaze of love. transmute this feeling of resentment and abandonment to love and understanding, you can even visualise it. they still love you, you can manifest them to love you the way you want to idk but still they love you! don’t try to make them jealous, don’t distance yourself, don’t do whatever you do to get ‘revenge’ idk, it is NOT healthy. it only hurts YOU in the end. plus, LOA dictates the way people act with you is a reflection of yourself, so all you need to do is change self.

no matter what, KNOW you are loved. even if your body is freaking out and wants to flee, tell yourself in the moment it will pass. it has to. your trauma trigger reactions are NOT you.

it may be hard to believe that someone loves you. for me, i felt like i was delusional. that i was kidding myself, because how dare i assume someone loves me? that’s why i kept seeking external reassurance for any semblance of love because i was not giving that reassurance to myself internally. and when someone didn’t give me that reassurance in the 3d, i’d freak out, even though i had manifested it unknowingly. how can i go to the 3d and ask for love when everything, good and bad, is within me? as the creator, how can i not tell myself i am worthy of love and that people close to me love me? how can i not believe that when all is me? it is a bit stupid to think like that, no? well i did, and to an extent i still do. but i’m recovering. i deserve to live a life where i am not constantly afraid. i deserve to live a life where i can speak with confidence that someone loves me. it is hard for me, even now, but i know i will get through it, as will you.

let’s be brazenly impudent together, shall we?

“Dare to believe in the reality of your assumption and watch the world play its part relative to to its fulfillment.” ― Neville Goddard

#abandonment issues #abandonment #fear of abandonment #attachment #anxious attachment #attachment anxiety #trauma response #loa #law of assumption #neville #neville goddard #law of attraction #law of belief #manifest #manifestation #manifesting #consciousness #psychology #awareness

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sadieshavingsex · 1 year

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I’m tired of healing I’m tired of waiting to heal I’m tired of researching what’s wrong with me I’m tired of feeling pathologized im tired of pathologizing myself im tired of not feeling safe im tired of overanalyzing everything im tired of not being able to make a decision im

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abandonment-trauma · 2 years

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Bouncing back and forth between “i don’t wanna be alone” and “i want to isolate myself” is quite the wild ride.

But incase you weren’t aware, these are both ways a fear of abandonment can show itself.

#abandonment trauma #abandonment #attachment trauma #mental health #dealing with grief #heartbroken #abandoned #abandonment issues #cptsd coping #fearful avoidant #attachment #anxious attachment #dismissive avoidant

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