#fear of abandonment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mothseatinghumanflesh · 1 year

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borderlinebeauty · 1 year

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you can’t hurt me if I’m ✨gone✨

#bpd blog #actually bpd #borderline blog #borderline personality disorder #bpd #living with bpd #actually borderline #actuallymentallyill #black mental illness #bpd feels #bpd be like #fear of abandonment

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lovesick02 · 9 months

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Please don´t fall in love with somebody else

#lovesick #yancore #lovecore #obsessive love #yandere girl #yanderecore #possessive love #irl yandere #darlingcore #yandere #fear of abandonment #fear of rejection #fear of being alone

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vesora · 1 year

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dealing with fear of abandonment through LOA + general tips

personal backstory / long post ahead

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” ― Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

as a child, my needs were not met and therefore, i developed a schema that people were meant to disappoint me and leave me and my relationships, both platonic and romantic reflected EXACTLY that.

countless times, i was ‘left’ without any reason, always strengthening the notion i had always felt that people were meant to abandon me. even if i was close to someone, i would still engage in self-sabotaging behaviours when i felt disappointed by the expectations i had set for them. feeling this lack of control when it came to relationships because i was so deathly afraid of being left alone; of disappointing the other. not putting myself first because i felt the only sense of worth i had was through whether another found me worthy. this is all very hard for me to say of course, im a private person but i felt maybe someone at least needed to hear this. my parent would be nice at one point and disinterested in the other, i felt i had to work to gain their approval and for them to be nice to me all the time. i needed them to view me as perfect, so they wouldn’t leave me. but guess what guys? thats stupid, bcos fuck perfection.

in my abandonment activation strategies/self-sabotaging behaviours, my body would go into a state of desperation, in dire need of any sort of relief and safety, crying my heart out because i was so scared, leaving people because i was scared of being left first. being scared i was being clingy by asking for reassurance which in turn sends me into another frenzy, isolating myself from people so i have no chances to be hurt, feeling resentment when someone doesnt meet my expectations/needs through no fault of their own. my inner child would just take over my body, repeating the same distress i experienced as a kid.

but i am not a kid anymore. i am a well-functioning adult and i cannot continue this abandonment schema. so what do i do?

i use loa.

how to use loa + general tips for this:

recognise that everything and everyone is you pushed out. your relationships play out the way you assume they will. this is not to say at all what happened when you were a child was your fault. we are not to blame. our needs were simply not met.

change the way you view relationships, no matter how hard it may be. if everyone is just us, how can anyone else abandon us? not even that, why would anyone leave us? we are amazing and fun and good people

be someone YOU are proud of, irrespective of what other people think. all is mind, so why do you think you need to impress someone who’s just another part of you? a part that can easily be molded

you are not clingy. you are not desperate. you are not unworthy. you are not unlovable. repeat affirmations that you are lovable. that you deserve to have your needs met. that everyone meets your needs. that you never feel abandoned. that you love yourself unconditionally. YOU are on the pedestal, NOT anyone else.

if someone is emotionally unavailable, this DOES NOT mean they do not love or care about you! they might be busy, not be well-versed with showing emotions in a healthy way, express their love in a different way than yours or they may simply be going through something in their lives right now.

when this happens, you can talk to the person about it and usually in my experience, the person understands and reassures me that they still love me and that we are okay. if a person is not willing to make sure you are okay, maybe rethink their position in your lives. you are the pedestal, not them. now just because someone reassures you doesn’t mean you don’t work on yourself. you do work on yourself through LOA and useful strategies.

take deep belly breaths when you feel yourself get triggered. it is okay. you are going to be okay, i promise. the next day im sure you will feel fine. it is not the end of the world, i promise you. the world IS you. just change it.

reassure your inner child and your adult self that you are okay now. you are the best version of yourself right now. you are safe. you are secure. you are not in danger. your life is in YOUR hands. YOU are in control. YOU created this life. the only way to change it is within.

if you feel impatient and you want things to change IMMEDIATELY, i.e. when youre having a panic attack, take deep breaths and remember this is temporary. remember you are in control of what happens but also do not be attached to any outcome, just have faith that everything works out in your favour.

if you feel resentment when someone doesn’t meet your expectations, do NOT use strategies to hurt them or leave them. just calm down and view them with a gaze of love. transmute this feeling of resentment and abandonment to love and understanding, you can even visualise it. they still love you, you can manifest them to love you the way you want to idk but still they love you! don’t try to make them jealous, don’t distance yourself, don’t do whatever you do to get ‘revenge’ idk, it is NOT healthy. it only hurts YOU in the end. plus, LOA dictates the way people act with you is a reflection of yourself, so all you need to do is change self.

no matter what, KNOW you are loved. even if your body is freaking out and wants to flee, tell yourself in the moment it will pass. it has to. your trauma trigger reactions are NOT you.

it may be hard to believe that someone loves you. for me, i felt like i was delusional. that i was kidding myself, because how dare i assume someone loves me? that’s why i kept seeking external reassurance for any semblance of love because i was not giving that reassurance to myself internally. and when someone didn’t give me that reassurance in the 3d, i’d freak out, even though i had manifested it unknowingly. how can i go to the 3d and ask for love when everything, good and bad, is within me? as the creator, how can i not tell myself i am worthy of love and that people close to me love me? how can i not believe that when all is me? it is a bit stupid to think like that, no? well i did, and to an extent i still do. but i’m recovering. i deserve to live a life where i am not constantly afraid. i deserve to live a life where i can speak with confidence that someone loves me. it is hard for me, even now, but i know i will get through it, as will you.

let’s be brazenly impudent together, shall we?

“Dare to believe in the reality of your assumption and watch the world play its part relative to to its fulfillment.” ― Neville Goddard

#abandonment issues #abandonment #fear of abandonment #attachment #anxious attachment #attachment anxiety #trauma response #loa #law of assumption #neville #neville goddard #law of attraction #law of belief #manifest #manifestation #manifesting #consciousness #psychology #awareness

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cassie-lmao · 1 year

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i sometimes wonder whether you ignore my triggers on purpose to test my limits and to have some control over me or did you simply forget what i told you about them *several times* because you dont care about me or my mental wellbeing at all

idk which is worse tbh

#fear of abandonment #abandonment

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antimatterz · 7 months

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I'LL BE BY YOUR SIDE.

dan heng x gn!reader

summary: fear of abandonment is terrible, but your lover is there for you.

cw: reader has fear of abandonment, dark thoughts, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship

enyo's note: please, just please, don't come at me saying "this is toxic" or anything like that. this work is personal, so much that i'm hesitant to upload it but i still chose to do so in case more people are struggling with this. fear of abandonment is something serious and it's super hard to deal with. we don't choose to freak out when our person isn't near. we don't choose to need constant reassurance that they won't leave us. we don't want any of that. this is what it looks like for me on a bad day. feel free to come talk to me if you're struggling with the same !!

content under the cut | masterlist

lonely.

that's what you felt when you sat alone in the empty compartment of the astral express. there was no one, and that wasn't good for your mindset. you were restless, antsy, afraid, your mind wandering off to dan heng the entire time. it was always like that when he wasn't around you, but when you were utterly alone, it got severely worse.

nothing seemed to help; seeking distraction did nothing, it brought no peace to your mind to text march or himeko or anyone else, you couldn't focus on any activities, which let your mind roam endlessly.

where was dan heng? what was he doing? why wasn't he responding? was he okay? did something happen? was he going to leave you behind? your mind paused at the last line, realization hitting you like a truck.

the possibility was there.

leaving you was always an option, right? and to you, it seemed very likely. you weren't a fun and easy person; you were troubled, broken even. tearing at the seams almost perpetually. sure, you had your good moments, but did those make it worth to stick around? you had no idea, but the longer dan heng stayed away, the more you started to doubt his return. sure, you trusted dan heng – or you wanted to, at least. your fear of abandonment often wouldn't let you fully trust him.

everything was okay as long as he was with you, but as soon as he left to do something, fear crept up your spine, leaving you short of breath and extremely worried. bad habits awoke, you kept checking your phone, the express' entrance, every single thing that could hint at dan heng's arival was on your radar. it was tiring, so tiring, but you couldn't help it.

and you felt guilty. you just wanted to let dan heng live his life without having to consider you all the time. sure, he told you so many times that it was okay, that he chose to console you as anxiety struck, that you could text him whenever you needed him. but you refused; you didn't want to bother him. that would only drive him away eventually, right?

so you suffered alone.

your heart was beating frantically, following the cadance of your unsteady thoughts. it was pointless, it was useless, you were useless, you told yourself. couldn't even stand an hour without your beloved. what kind of toxic partner were you? it was certain, he was going to leave you sooner or later, just because you were a failure who could do nothing. everyone left, so why wouldn't he do the same?

tears of distress welled up in your eyes, and your breath stuttered. you felt truly alone, as if he had abandoned you already. maybe he really did, seeing how he left the express two hours ago. yet, you still refused to text him, despite the many times dan heng told you to reach out if you needed him.

you just couldn't burden him like that.

it felt like ages when the compartment's door slipped open, and footsteps came inside. you gazed up and found dan heng approaching you, and you swore you felt your heart levitate in your chest for a moment. relief washed over you and you wanted to jump up and hug the life out of your boyfriend. he was back!

it must've been obvious that you had been crying, as a look of worry ghosted over dan heng's features. his quiet grey eyes looked right through you, and he instantly knew what was up.

"y/n, i told you to text me if this happened," he lightly scolded you, pulling you to your feet and engulfing you in a tight hug.

"don't wanna bother you," you mumbled against the fabric of his clothes. "i don't want you to feel trapped just because i have separation anxiety."

"we've been over this, angel," dan heng sighed, his puff of breath rustling your hair. "you're too hard on yourself. you're not bothering me at all. i love you on good days and bad days alike, and as we enjoy your good days, i want to help you on your bad days. never forget that, love."

you breathed in his scent, relishing in the comfort it brought to you. he was with you again, he didn't leave, and he still loved you. with your voice still muffled by the fabric, you told him you loved him too, as you slowly felt the fear that had your body rigid diminishing. darkness slipped from your mind as dan heng held you closely, until all was good again.

"listen, angel," dan heng began, loosening the hug to cup your cheeks instead. he made you look at him, and his gaze was solemn. "i won't leave you. not today, not tomorrow, not ever in my life. and i will remind you every day. got that?"

you nodded, feeling as if you were on cloud nine. dan heng was right; you've been through so much together, he saw you on your darkest days, and he was still with you. if only you would remember that as anxiety rose, but such was wistful thinking. once you were alone again, the cycle would repeat itself, and you'd be terrified once more, as if the reassurance of today never happened.

fear of abandonment was painful, it tore you apart so often, writhing in your mind like a sick disease. but you had gotten lucky to find a patient lover, one who treated you right and never grew tired of reassuring you – as much as you needed.

it was true.

dan heng wouldn't leave you.

you smiled at him, and he offered you a faint smile in return. you knew he wouldn't move from your side today, and you leaned against him lovingly. another episode had passed, peace had returned.

it was okay.

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai #dan heng #— enyo writes #honkai: star rail #dan heng x reader #dan heng imagine #dan heng imagines #dan heng il #dan heng x you #dan heng hsr #hsr dan heng #fear of abandonment #separation anxiety

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me--do · 2 years

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phoebepheebsphibs · 2 months

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Overanalyzing Leo's Fears

Leo's fear is easy to pinpoint. He's terrified of abandonment. But why? And is that all there is to it? Let's look into that...

Leo's past is a bit complicated and tumultuous... following the events after Draxum lost him, Leo spent something around an entire year living alone in the backstreets of the Hidden City. And then he met Mikey. The two were only five and four years old, but even at that age Leo knew he couldn't raise a toddler all by himself. So he went to an unscrupulous orphanage for help. For several years, Mikey and Leo lived in that hovel filled with starving kids, each one fighting for attention and family. But Leo saw Mikey's needs and always put him first, stealing extra rations for him and giving him the clothes he needed.

Leo and Mikey were placed in a system similar to foster care, where families would adopt them and go through a sort of trial run to see if the kids were a good fit. Mikey always fit in pleasantly, everyone loved him! But as for Leo... he never seemed to get it right. A rambunctious child, defiant and stubborn, and with a head made for schemes? He was constantly sent back to the orphanage. (As was Mikey, who would rather be with his brother than strangers.) So, Leo was given a twisted view of what families were like: people who pretend to care for you, but will eventually discard you once they find what's wrong with you. And there is ALWAYS something wrong with you...

Leo was against Mikey's little found family from the start, because he never trusted the idea of a family to begin with! But as time passed by, he slowly started to grow closer with the two other turtles Mikey adored. However, something happened that caused Leo to lose his trust in them, and as a result, he did what so many had done with him before -- he left. And not just Donnie and Raph, Leo left Mikey.

While he was soon to be reunited with his brothers, Leon felt incredible guilt over what he'd done to Michelangelo. He couldn't believe that he'd done that to his baby brother, he didn't understand why he'd left Mikey for something he never did, an excuse so stupid as "he'd be better off without me"?! Why? (Raph would eventually pinpoint that Leo was subconsciously trying to test Mikey's love for him, to see if he would come back to him even if he left, to prove wrong what Leo feared all his life...)

It comes back to the start. Before the betrayal, before the families that sent him back, before the orphanage that hated him. It was Draxum who first instilled this fear in him. Because Leo was never actually lost from Draxum. Leo was discarded. Because he would not obey or conform, Draxum threw the child into the gutters as a way to teach him self-reliance and survival skills. (And even before that, what Leo doesn't remember but his subconscious still retains... is that Raph left him originally. In the character sheet for Raph, you'll find the last thing it says is Raph's earliest memory -- of him promising to find someone before running away. That was Leo. Raph promised to come back for him, to find him again and save him and the others... but after running away, he was discovered by Big Mama and soon lost all memory of the other experiments. Leo won't recall that moment, but the pain it caused stays with him.)

Leo expects everyone he loves to leave him. Because he believes -- no, it has been ingrained into him that he is worthless, and that the world is cruel.

#fear of abandonment #rottmnt leo #rottmnt #writing angst #writing fears #rottmnt until i found you #until i found you #until i found you au #separated au #rottmnt separated au #fear fungus #no fun in fungus #fear spores

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nbcheeso · 1 month

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no google, I am not raising a child

#adhd #autism #actually cptsd #actually adhd #actually autistic #neurodivergent #separation anxiety #meme #actually neurodivergent #fear of abandonment #actually mentally ill

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borderlinebelle · 3 months

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friends 👁️ don’t like none of my bozo posts guys. and god forbid- dont ever meet me in person. I’ll attach to you so GOSHDANG fast. 🙂 call me barnacle bill Bud, because im gonna be up in ur $HloP. 🙂 i’ll think about you until 1 of us is deddedded 🙂 check ya socials like our cribs were next door during diapers. lemme spam your notifications friend 🙂 slap ♥️ on 4444 of your posts in row, at the very least. 🙂 I’ll crawl so far, furrow furiously through your spine stream between a feed so guaranteed to let me see you … freed. i’ll root and cheer and scream for your health/wealth/success and I’ll do it all … silently🙃 … apart👁️… never letting you too close 👍🏽🙂 pls stay away and pls come closer.

this mental illness is parental’s egotistic endowment, a bigheaded birthright

fear of abandonment boulevard 🚯& fear of intimacy street 🚷 meet at the crossroad of borderline personality disorder

mental health matters every human heart beat in an effort to connect one to another to heal.

1/30/2024 borderlinebelle

#borderlinebelle #fear of abandonment #leave before left #making friends is easy #keeping friends is terrifying #to be known #to be perceived #do not percieve me #to be human #mental health matters #female writers #queer writers #black writers #writ #writerscorner #personality disorder #bpd vent #personal

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elainiisms · 6 months

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#bpd #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #abandonment issues #fear of abandonment #bpd abandonment #bpd meme #bpd problems #bpd shit #bpd stuff

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la1npilledg1rl · 2 months

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Today you said I’m the most important thing in your life…

As time goes by I’ll be nothing but a vague memory stored into a dark corner of your mind. I’ll always be there, forgotten by you who once claim I was the “most important thing” in their life.

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lovesick02 · 2 years

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cassie-lmao · 1 year

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nah relationships aint my shit you could be the absolute best green flag amazing perfection of a person and i'll still come out traumatized bc my dumb idiot dumb dumb brain imagines scenarios that are not likely to happen and gives itself a panic attack over them on a daily basis💀

#fear of abandonment

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kindacuteandcrazy · 3 months

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🔎 recent searches:

how to handle abandonment issues

how to manage anger

how to remain friends

how to figure out if i'm overreacting or being treated shitty

how to live a peaceful life

#actuallybpd #bpd #vent #anger #fear of abandonment

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monsterohnenamen · 4 months

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#monsterohnenamen #the real me #darkness #dark #gothic #evil within #trust issues #abandoned #fear of abandonment #goth art #demons #my demons #my inner demons

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