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#my stuff: excerpts
fairydrowning · 1 year
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When I say "I love you", I don’t just mean "I love being around you", "I love the way you talk to me", "I love your good traits", "I love the things you make." I mean I love every single part of you, both good and bad. I love the highs and lows of you. I love your humanity, I love every inch of you from perfection to flaw. I love you as a part of my beloved Earth. When I say "I love you", I really mean to say, "all of you is welcome in me."
– Via "platonic-suggestions" on Tumblr
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finalgirl1984 · 21 days
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So in btvs, like in other horror media, the line between death and violence and sex can be blurry. The act of a vampire biting or turning someone is explicitly metaphorical for sex. (See angel sucking buffys blood at the end of season three, angel drinking blood from darlas breast, spike begging drusilla to turn him, riley cheating on buffy by getting sucked on, etc.) Similarly, staking could also be metaphorical for sex. (See buffy playfully using a baguette to stake angel). A phallic symbol penetrating a heart. Therefore, riley basically used a dildo on spike that one time he staked him with fake wood, in this essay I will-
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astraldrake · 21 days
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Corruption takes its toll text reads: Red and white petals swirled around them, a few landing on Sunny’s armor, settling into his hood and sticking to the drying blood on his side.
Penumbra could hear his labored breathing over the sound of shifting plant life.
“There’s nothing left- for either of us,” Red stained his teeth and dripped into the grass. The wind carried the sharp smell of radiolaria, and the cloying sweetness of rotting flowers. “You’re as dead as I am. you can already feel it, can’t you?”
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chrollohearttags · 6 months
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thots and opinions? We rocking with it shawty? (back to bed I go now!)
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albatris · 6 months
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nanowrimo out-of-context
sorry about the different-sized fonts idk what I'm doing 😎✌
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averlym · 6 months
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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amateur-scribbler · 2 months
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I want you to hate me. Because I truly love proving myself right.
I love satisfying the sick whispers of self loathing and controlling the narrative of how this love will end, in time.
Because I know how to hurt you and sometimes I do it without even trying, I’ve got this bitter guilt and this ever-quick poisonous bite.
I am not loveable or cute or the girl everyone wants to fawn over, I am the girl people compare to hurricanes because it’s a promise that I will destroy everything in sight.
It’s an imposter, a facade, some type of trick of the light, this version of me you love has never aligned with the one that whispers harsh truths to me late at night.
No, I’m not her, and I don’t deserve any of your love, because given the chance I’m still that sharp tongued snake always ready to poison the ones who take a selfless step in the murky waters to try to hold my head above.
So I’ll push you so far away, to the point that you stop understanding why you ever even contemplated fighting to stay.
Because honestly, I truly love being right.
Letting you think I’m a monster means you’re finally meeting the dark voice who’s been whispering words of hatred to me every night.
The self fulfilling prophecy - t.k.o
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not-poignant · 5 months
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Tradewinds Launch - A Fae Tales Novel - Jan 31st
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FULL NOVEL RELEASE on JANUARY 31st - EXCLUSIVE to REAM & PATREON ONLY
In the dangerous, ethereal realm of the fae, alliances between the Seelie and Unseelie fae merchants are few. Some say impossible. Matan, a Seelie fae and peacock pheasant shifter with a talent for trade, must keep his Seelie alignment a secret as he embarks on a perilous journey to gather wealth and save a loved one from a terrible curse. He joins an Unseelie merchant caravan of fae who would surely eat him if they learned of his alignment. The enigmatic Udir, a paranoid Unseelie master of poisons and bearded vulture shifter, discovers Matan’s secret and threatens to blackmail him in exchange for vile favours. But Udir’s bravado and bluster hides a painful past and Matan isn’t as innocent or as naïve as he seems. Amid bustling markets, savvy clients, and travelling to new lands Matan has never seen before, Tradewinds is a story of love, found family, trust, betrayal, and the healing that can grow in the shadows of the vibrant, perilous southern fae lands.
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Foxhall @ Ream (available on the Gary+Efnisien tiers or higher) Foxhall @ Patreon (available on the Gary+Efnisien tiers of higher)
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lost-in-time-marie · 29 days
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The sky was a wild sprawl of violet, as the last lingering wisps of sunlight faded slowly to a dark, inky blue. The twinkling of the warm lights overhead cast a gentle glow in all the reflections. The hum of nightfall picked up gradually, as that dark ink crept up the sky, the cicadas growing braver with every minute. There was a laziness about the breeze that wandered through from time to time. It was pleasant company, and there was no complaints from the kitties, splayed out on the cool concrete and airing out all their fluff in that lick of wind.
~K.
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i’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, i am afraid of being unravelled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here
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otomehonyaku · 1 month
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DIABOLIK LOVERS アニメ公式ノベライズ Official Novelization ☽ Chapter 2 Translation
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[Previous chapter] ☽ [Next chapter]
Originally written by Yukuzuki Hiroha 結来月ひろは Translated from the Japanese by @otomehonyaku
STORY Following her father’s job transfer, Komori Yui is sent to live with the Sakamaki brothers. However, these six brothers turn out to be sadistic, ill-tempered vampires. The men are after Yui’s sweet and incredibly rare blood, and go to great lengths toying with her body and soul to get it. Before long, Yui finds herself trapped in an alluringly dangerous love game(1)...
1. 吸血愛戯 (ラブゲーム): Stylised as ‘love game’ but written with the characters for bloodsucking (吸血), love (愛), and play (戯). The latter character also has a connotation of playfulness/mischief.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
DISCLAIMER This is an unofficial translation intended for those interested in reading the story of the Diabolik Lovers game/season in a slightly more literary format in English. I have no affiliation with Rejet or Frontier Works whatsoever. All rights belong to them, but PLEASE DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE OR TRANSLATE TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
Now that that’s out of the way—have fun reading! ❤️
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Episode 2
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The evening sun cast a warm glow on the mansion. By the time the chandelier was lit, Yui was sitting on a bed in an unfamiliar room. 
Where am I?
Yui sat upright and looked around. In the corner of the room was the suitcase she had brought to the mansion, as well as her bag. The room was gorgeous with its pink tones and large bed with a lavender-coloured canopy that most girls her age could only dream of. However, Yui wondered why she had been sleeping in this room. 
I arrived at the mansion, and then…
Yui gasped. Right. I found out that they are vampires, that’s why. Remembering the moments leading up to her losing consciousness, she inattentively pressed her fingers to her neck. 
“Thank God, I wasn’t bitten.” Feeling reassured, Yui lowered her fingers to her chest, but suddenly noticed something. “Huh?”
She wasn’t wearing her own clothes, but instead wore a négligé that she had never seen before. 
“Did I change clothes earlier?”
However, Yui had no memory of doing so. In fact, she didn’t remember anything after Ayato pushed her to the floor and she lost consciousness. That meant a stranger had undressed her while she wasn’t conscious. 
“Why am I here? I want to talk to my father…”
Yui wrapped her arms around herself, a thought ran through her mind.
The fact that she is not my own child bears no meaning at all. 
That was what her father’s diary had said when she found it in the forbidden room. I’m not my father’s biological daughter after all… Still, she wasn’t quite sure if she really believed that. She didn’t want to.
“Dad… What’s going on? Please come back home…” Tears started welling up in the corners of her eyes when she remembered the days she’d spent with her father, but the moment was cut short.
“Oh, Bitchlet. It’s no use crying, y’know?”
Yui yelped in surprise. 
When she looked up, Laito was sitting there on her bed, watching her intently. 
“You look hot in your little négligé,” he said, “and you smell delicious, too.” 
Painfully reminded of her current lack of clothing, Yui scrambled for the bed sheets and used them to cover up her chest. Still, the smirk that had been on Laito’s face the entire time grew deeper.
“I wonder if you’re trying to seduce me, little bitch.”
“Why would I…” Yui made an effort to get away from Laito, but soon felt the headboard press into her back, and she knew she had nowhere to run. Oh no… If I don’t do something, he’ll…
The boy was only a hair’s breadth away from her face when he abruptly disappeared from her line of vision, along with the sound of an impact.
“Don’t go touchin’ my things without permission.”
Ayato was the one who had sent his brother flying. 
Laito repositioned his hat onto his head and looked at him. “Ayato, you’re too rowdy.”
“Shut up.”
Has Ayato come to my rescue? If he hadn’t come in, Laito would surely have bitten me. But why would he help me? Even though Yui had not said anything aloud, Ayato called out her wishful thinking immediately.
“I’ll have her.”
So he didn’t come to save me… he was only acting because he didn’t want me swiped away from under his nose.
“Please, don’t!”
“You three. If you do not hurry, we will all be late.” In the blink of an eye, Reiji had also appeared by the side of the bed.
“Again, Reiji?”
“Aw, man, things were just getting good…”
Ignoring Ayato’s and Laito’s complaints, Reiji turned to Yui. “You too. Hurry up and get dressed.”
Yui was glad that the second son had saved her from getting bitten once again, but grew suspicious at his words. “Get dressed? Are we going somewhere?”
“Of course. We’re going to class.”
“Class… at this hour?”
“Please, Yui. Your dull-wittedness is astounding. Do you really not understand anything until I spell it out for you? We attend night classes.”
Yui cast a glance upon the clock at her bedside, and the hands pointed to 5:20 PM. Had she not been here, her classes would have already ended at this time.
“But… we still have an entire day of classes ahead?” Having attended a regular school until now, Yui could not hide her confusion.
“Contrary to what is normal to humans, going out during the day is bothersome for us. As you will be living in the Sakamaki household from now on, we expect you to conform to our lifestyle.”
“But…”
“If you have any complaints, you are welcome to leave at any time,” Reiji said. He then turned to walk away..
“But you said you’d kill me if I ran…” The complaint slipped past Yui’s lips in a voice that was too quiet for Reiji to understand.
“What was that?”
“N-nothing.” Yui shook her head vigorously.
“Then please hurry and put on your uniform.”
When she followed Reiji’s gaze, she saw that a brand new uniform had suddenly appeared on her bed. It consisted of the same blazer that the brothers wore, and a skirt that had white frills attached to the hem. The white shirt ribbon that came with it was tied together with another red ribbon on the centre of the chest. Did they go through all that trouble to get me a school uniform?
“Um…” When Yui raised her face, the three brothers had disappeared from her bedside. And now they’re gone. They really are vampires… 
Alone once again, she sighed heavily. When she tried to get up from the bed, her hand grazed past her rosary.
“Right…” Yui tightly gripped her rosary. “This might be the time to look for the room where I found that diary.” The brothers would be gone, and she would have the room to herself. This chance might not present itself again. 
Yui went to the door and eased it open the tiniest bit in order to check her surroundings. Good. Nobody’s outside my room. Ready to seize the opportunity, Yui prepared to leave the room.
“Yo.”
“Huh?” Somehow, Ayato was standing right in front of her. 
No way. There was nobody here. 
He looked at her scantily-clothed form with an amused grin on his face. “You’re still wearing that? C’mon, I’ll help you change.”
“I’m fine, thank you!” 
Yui shut the door in his face and sighed again. 
Not a chance after all… because I’m not dealing with humans, but with vampires. I should keep my head down for now.
Having given up the idea of going to the forbidden room today, Yui reluctantly got ready to head to class.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
When Yui finished getting ready and descended to the ground floor, a large black limousine was waiting in front of the mansion. Are we… going to school by limousine?
She hesitated for a second, but the driver opened the door for her. 
Well, I guess I have no choice, then.
“Thank you,” Yui said to the driver before she climbed into the limousine, but he kept silent as he shut the door.
The limousine was spacious enough to fit all of the brothers, and Yui was the last one to arrive. When she sat down on a seat near the door, the limousine quietly departed from the mansion. 
The brothers didn’t talk to one another. The only sound that could be heard was the car’s engine, and the lack of conversation was in stark contrast with their behaviour yesterday. 
Yui looked at the brothers. They couldn’t have been more different from each other—they each had their distinctive hair and eye colour. Are they really brothers?
Reiji was reading a book, and Subaru was sitting next to him, staring out the window with a sullen look on his face. Maybe they just don’t get along. On the opposite side, Laito’s face lit up like he was scheming, Kanato was talking to Teddy, and Shuu was listening to music with his earphones in. 
They really aren’t talking.
“What’re you thinking about, Pancake?” 
Yui had been lost in thought until she was surprised to see Ayato coming towards her, and she instinctively held out her hands to avoid him. The vampire didn’t seem pleased by that. 
Taking advantage of sitting right next to her, Ayato moved in closer. “You got some nerve trying to disobey me, Pancake.”
“All this time, it’s been ‘Pancake,’ ‘Pancake’… I have a name, you know. It’s Komori Yui. Please use it properly.”
“Shut up. Names lost their meaning to me about a hundred years ago, Pancake,” Ayato retorted, drawing out the syllables. Obviously offended, he suddenly bent over Yui, his mouth going for her neck. 
SNAP!
The sound of Reiji’s book slamming shut broke the tense atmosphere.
“How many times do I have to tell you, Ayato? Take such behaviour to your own room.”
Grumbling, Ayato let go of Yui.
Thank God…
“And you. Take this.”
“Huh?”
Reiji held out a juice box for her. “It’s pure cranberry juice. It works best against anaemia.”
“T-thank you,” Yui said in earnest, feeling a little surprised at Reiji’s sudden kindness. 
“No need to thank me,” he responded, sending her a cold glare. “You will have to learn that you are simply our prey, and drink that every day.”
Their… prey? Yui’s hands trembled. She had known it deep down already, but still, Reiji’s cold words struck a chord. Her body was seized by fear. Soon, she was shaking.
“You know, Teddy? When humans are scared, their teeth start ‘chattering.’ Interesting, isn’t it? Let’s observe closely.” Kanato held out Teddy toward Yui.
To these men, all I am is prey. 
The one eye Teddy had that wasn’t covered by an eye patch gleamed at Yui.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
With her lips forming a tight line and her body absolutely rigid, Yui sat in the limousine for another while until it passed under the moonlit gate of Reitei Academy. So this is the night school they were talking about… This was her first time to attend a night school, but Reitei, with its courtyard bathed in moonlight, looked to be a particularly prestigious one.
Yui trailed behind the brothers after they’d gotten out of the limousine and followed them into the courtyard. It was bright and enormous, and the staff had done a good job keeping it tidy.
That’s good. Even though they teach classes at night, it still seems to be a normal school. Yui had felt a little uneasy when she was told to go to the school the brothers went to, but most of the students somehow seemed to be normal humans just like her.
The moment the Sakamakis entered the school’s courtyard, all students stopped and stared. 
Well, if you count out the fact that they’re vampires, they certainly are handsome… When Yui looked at them properly once again, their outward appearance was very well-put together. It certainly wasn’t strange for them to attract attention looking this good.
However, nobody tried talking to them.
Even when they passed through the hallways and a group of female students looked over while chatting with one another in a low voice, they fell silent when Yui returned their gaze. When Yui averted her eyes again, the girls hurriedly moved past them.
What was that for? She turned around and looked at the girls’ backs as they walked away, thinking it strange. Reiji stopped in front of the staircase and called out, pulling Yui out of her daze.
“You are in the same class as Ayato and Kanato, so please go with the two of them.”
“Okay.”
In all earnest, Yui had been looking forward to some time away from the brothers, but she had no choice. She did as she was told, but Reiji’s cold voice stopped her before she could leave with Ayato and Kanato.
”I am not done talking yet.”
Yui reluctantly faced him again.
“If you do not wish to be struck with a whip, I would advise you to not do anything reckless. Understood?”
Meaning that if I tried to run away…
Reiji’s unrelenting gaze gave Yui the chills.
“Answer me.”
“…Yes.”
Feeling Reiji’s ice-like stare on her back, she walked away and headed to the classroom.
This should be it.
When Yui went into the classroom, Kanato was sitting at the very back, a book open in front of him as he cradled Teddy in his arms. Ayato was slumped over on his desk. For some reason, they were the only students there.
But class is just about to start. Why isn’t anyone else here?
Yui considered asking Kanato, but seeing him talk so animatedly to Teddy made her close her mouth again. She quickly glanced at the blackboard. It said Today’s Home Economics class is cooking practice. Please assemble in the school kitchen.
“So we’re doing a cooking class today.” That’s why the classroom was empty—everyone else must have already gone to the kitchen.
We should get going, too. I can’t be late on my first day here. But where is this kitchen?
“…Cooking practice?”
Yui’s voice roused Ayato from his nap, and his face twisted into a suggestive grin. “Hey, Pancake.”
“Ayato, please don’t call me weird names at school.”
“Shut up. You’re better off worrying about where to find the school kitchen.”
As if he had read Yui’s mind, she fell silent.
“Yours Truly could do you a favour and take you there.”
“Really?”
”Yeah. C’mon.” Ayato grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the classroom.
“Ah, wait!”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“…Um, Ayato?”
“What?”
“Where are we?”
The room Ayato had dragged her to was filled with cooking utensils and supplies. However, there were no other students in sight.
“It’s the school kitchen.”
“Then why is nobody here?”
“‘Cause this is the old kitchen. They teach the cooking classes in the new one.”
In other words, Ayato tricked her into coming here.
“So why did you bring me here?”
“As for the reason…” Ayato stood up from the chair he’d been sitting on, and stalked towards Yui.
Oh no, not again… Yesterday’s events were still etched into the back of her mind, making Yui freeze in place, but the answer coming out of Ayato’s mouth surprised her.
“Make me some takoyaki.”
“T-takoyaki?”
…Like, actual takoyaki?
“Well, I don’t expect anything but the world’s best takoyaki.”
A takoyaki pan was already present on the table, making Yui realise the height of his expectations. So that’s why he brought me here? She wasn’t sure if this was the actual reason why, but this wasn’t the time to think about that.
”But… we should head to class, quickly.”
“Don’t talk back to me. Yours Truly will eat your takoyaki. Now get cooking!”
“You could at least ask nicely…”
“You say something?” Ayato clearly wasn’t intending to go back to class. 
Yui did as he said, and started the preparations to make takoyaki. Fortunately, most of the ingredients were already there, and Yui somehow managed to make takoyaki with them.
“Here you go.”
Ayato stuffed the takoyaki into his mouth without hesitation. “So good!” 
Next to an innocently grinning Ayato, who feasted happily on the takoyaki, sat a rather dreary-looking Yui. “It’s only my first day of school and I’ve already skipped a class…”
Yui had never expected it to come to this on her first day after transferring to Reitei. She had never skipped a class before, even at her old school. 
“No use worrying ‘bout such small things. Have a bite.”
Before Yui could answer, Ayato pushed a ball of takoyaki into her mouth. “It’s delicious!” 
“Right?”
For something she had made herself, it had turned out pretty well. As the two sat and enjoyed the takoyaki, Yui caught a glimpse of the clock hanging on the wall. 
Their next class was about to start.
“We need to clean up. I don’t want to miss our next class too.” Yui began carrying the cooking utensils she used to make takoyaki to the sink. To avoid her getting wet, she took off her blazer, and hurriedly began washing a bowl. She had not realised there would be so much washing-up to do. 
Ayato, satisfied with a belly full of takoyaki, stretched out his legs and reclined in his chair, watching Yui as she did the dishes.
“Give me a hand, Ayato. You were the one who wanted me to make takoyaki, right?”
Silently, the vampire got up from his chair and crept over to her. He stopped just at her back. Yet Yui had not heard him coming over the sound of the running water, and so she called out to him again.
“Hey, Aya—”
When Yui looked over her shoulder, Ayato was right there. He was looking down on her quite literally, and as soon as she saw the look in his eyes, she immediately squirmed away from him.
“What’re you running away for?” He stalked over Yui, who was now standing by the window. “I’ve been going crazy since yesterday. I don’t wanna hold off any longer.”
I have to run…
Ayato captured her in his arms with ease.
“Let me taste you.”
“Please, don’t…” 
The words did not reach him. Ayato grabbed her chin and turned her face to the side, exposing the nape of her neck.
“No bite marks at all. Your skin looks delicious, really.”
Taking in the sight of her slender, pale neck right in front of him, a satisfied smile played at Ayato’s lips.
“Yours Truly will be the one to take all your firsts.”
The next moment, Ayato’s teeth hovered above the skin of her throat. A predatory gleam clouded his eyes before he buried his fangs deep in her neck. 
Yui gasped. The pain of Ayato’s sharp teeth piercing her neck and the feeling of her blood flowing freely into Ayato’s mouth made her body tremble. Even if Yui wanted to run from him, he had a strong grip on both her jaw and her waist. 
“Fuck… what is this? I’ve never tasted blood this sweet before.” Ayato briefly pulled away from her neck, his eyes twinkling with delight. “I like you.”
Before long, Ayato’s fangs brutally punctured Yui’s skin a second time.
“Please…”
Yui was not sure whether it was because he was sucking her blood, but her head began to grow numb, as if she was not herself anymore. 
I’m… scared… If he keeps feeding on me, I'll truly become their prey… I’m so scared.
Yui gathered all her strength to push Ayato away from her. However, the force of her push made the skin tear where Ayato had punctured it with his fangs. The intense pain shooting through her neck knocked the breath out of her, and her face contorted in agony.
“Idiot. If you move around while I bite you, you’ll only make it hurt more, you know.” When Ayato looked up, his lips were stained a bright red when they pulled away from his teeth in a smile.
“Ah…”
His lips were stained the colour of Yui’s blood.
I’ve really been fed on.
With the pain and shock of having her blood sucked, the fear showed plainly on her face.
“Seeing you in tears with your face twisting in pain… It’s too tempting.” Ayato wiped the blood from his lips with the back of his hand, and then licked it off before reaching out to Yui again. 
“Please, stop…”
“No stopping now.”
Ayato pushed her up against the window and bit down on the nape of her neck again.
The moonlight illuminated the two of them through the window, contrasting with the dark room behind them. The moon above Yui was the last thing she saw before her consciousness fell into a deep darkness.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“You two are an embarrassment to do such a thing on school premises.”
Before long, Reiji was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and his eyes fixed on Ayato and Yui. Ayato clicked his tongue as he turned around to face his brother.
“Damn it! Shit was just getting good.”
“Look at the state of her. That is your fault, Ayato. Take responsibility for your actions and take her home.”
When Ayato glanced at Yui, who was still in his arms, he noticed that she had already passed out. Might’ve been a bit too rough. The colour of Yui’s face was past the point of flattery, and she did not look like she would be waking up anytime soon. At the same time, Ayato could not simply leave her there. He knew exactly how Reiji would react if he did, and he wasn’t looking forward to that.
“Hmph.”
Ayato swept Yui up into his arms, and the next instant, they had disappeared from the room completely.
“Good grief. If only they could just behave.” Reiji let out a heavy sigh and walked out of the room.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Ugh…”
Yui opened her eyes on a bench next to the indoor pool inside the mansion.
Why am I here? I thought I was at school…
“Yo, you’re awake.”
Ayato was sitting on the armrest, lazily playing around with the uniform ribbon that had somehow found its way from neck into his hands.
Right, he fed on me…
Yui tried sitting upright, but the loss of blood had also drained the strength from her body. Seeing her struggle, Ayato walked over to her. 
“S-stay away!” 
Ayato halted.
The fact that vampires needed human blood for nourishment, Yui knew. But Ayato, on the other hand, only seemed to be toying with her. 
“Why are you doing this?” Yui asked.
Ayato stood over her, staring at her coldly. “You still don’t get it?”
“Huh?”
In a flash, Yui’s body was raised in the air, and Ayato’s face was a hair’s breadth away from hers. He’d picked her up with ease and began walking. Yui struggled to have Ayato put her back down, but he leisurely strode over towards the pool. He came to a stop right by the edge of the water.
“Yours Truly is the one who controls you. Stop complaining about everything!” 
Ayato had barely finished speaking before he threw Yui into the water. 
Yui screamed. A loud splashing sound echoed off the walls of the indoor pool. 
Oh no, I can’t swim…
To make matters worse, Yui was still wearing her uniform, and it weighed her down even more as it absorbed the water. She tried to wrestle herself to the surface, but despite her desperate efforts, she still felt herself sinking towards the bottom of the deep pool.
Ayato watched her struggle from the poolside.
“Tell me that I’m the best. Tell me that I’m better than anyone else, and that you’re mine.”
In a stroke of luck, Yui managed to come up for air. She begged for Ayato to help her, but she kept getting pulled back down. 
“Ayato—I can’t—I can’t swim…”
Yui desperately screamed Ayato’s name, but she had already disappeared under the surface of the water. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Whether he had heard her or not, Ayato's expression remained unchanged as he stared down at the water. This is Pancake’s fault. She disobeyed me…
Memories from his childhood haunted Ayato as he watched Yui’s struggling form in the pool.
In his thoughts, Ayato travelled to a lake far away, one hand strenuously reaching out of the water, flailing desperately. The blurry shape of a woman seemed to come closer from under the surface of the water. Ayato fought his way up, and reached out a hand towards her.
However, the woman had not come to save Ayato from drowning. She merely looked on, her expression flat.
Help me…
Ayato’s face twisted in despair knowing that his words would not reach anyone, but rather disappeared into the lake.
Help me…
Yui’s screams for help lined up with Ayato’s distant memory and without giving it any more thought, Ayato launched himself into the water. He did not know why he did it. Even though he harboured a sliver of doubt about his own behaviour, he took Yui into his arms under the surface of the pool.
Well, he did tell us not to kill her.
Reminding himself of this fact, Ayato cupped Yui’s face in his hands, and pressed his lips to hers.      
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It’s warm… and I can breathe again.
When Yui opened her eyes, she realised that Ayato had been transferring air to her with a kiss. Ayato pulled away as soon as he saw that she had regained consciousness. 
Why is he looking at me with such a forlorn expression?
In the deafening silence of the water, Yui saw herself reflected in his eyes, which were clouded with sadness.
Don’t look at me like that, Yui wanted to say, but the air Ayato had given her became bubbles under the water. 
I can’t breathe…
Seeing the struggle on Yui’s face again, Ayato undid the top buttons of her blouse to expose her shoulder, and sank his fangs into her skin.
“Nnh!”
Bubbles rose to the surface of the water again when Yui cried out. When Ayato switched to a different spot, biting her again and again, the blood seeping from the wounds in Yui’s skin floated around the two of them like a red ribbon that bound them together.
I have no air left…
Just when Yui was about to lose consciousness again, Ayato held on tight and pulled her with him to the surface. Yui coughed heavily to clear her lungs of water and desperately fill them with air at the same time. Ayato’s head was now above the water as well, and his eyes gleamed with a bewitching ferality that she had never seen of him before.
“Fuck, I can feel your blood flowing through my body… I can feel its power…”
“Please, no more…” Yui begged in a soft voice. Her face was white as a sheet, and the cold water and Ayato’s feeding had left her trembling incessantly.
“It can’t be helped. Let’s call it here for today.” Ayato held on to Yui as he swam to the edge of the pool, and hoisted her upwards onto the tiles.
Feeling an intense relief at being on solid ground again, Yui fell to the floor. Ayato threw a towel over her head.
“Huh?”
Yui was surprised by Ayato’s small gesture, but before she could thank him, Ayato turned his back on her and walked away without saying anything.
What does he really want with me?
Unable to figure out his motive, Yui tightly gripped the towel.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Around the same time, a man in a long, dark coat appeared in the woods surrounding the mansion. His motives seemed unclear窶派e merely stood there. However, as if he had noticed something, his head suddenly snapped up, and his red eyes focused on the sight in front of him.
Ah… Brings back memories.
The man’s eyes were trained on the Sakamaki mansion.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Yui had used the shower room adjacent to the pool, and when she returned to her room, she was stopped by the faint sound of a door unlocking once again. With suspicion, she followed the source of the sound, and reached another dilapidated spiral staircase.
“This staircase should lead to that room…”
Since then, Reiji had forbidden her from entering, but Yui was not prepared to give up on finding her father’s diary. I might be able to sneak into the room unnoticed from here, Yui thought as she ascended the stairs and found, as expected, the forbidden room.
Yui entered quietly, and immediately began the search for her father’s diary. It should have been right around here…
Carefully tiptoeing around the shards of broken glass, Yui eventually found the diary among the books on the floor.
“Gotcha!” She opened the little notebook without delay. “Huh…What’s this?”
Yui’s eyes widened in surprise. Her hands trembled as she flipped the pages. 
The pages were all completely blank where her father’s handwriting had been.
“It’s all… gone…” So what on Earth did I see before?
In a daze, the notebook slipped out of Yui’s hands and fell onto the floor, the sound reverberating through the quiet, empty space.
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fairydrowning · 10 months
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My father is in the kitchen cooking dinner. Pots are banging, and the peas are overflowing. I ask him for the fifth time when dinner will be ready. 'When it is in front of you' he says.
Now the kitchen is empty and I am alone at the dinner table. Grief is the only thing in front of me. I am not ready. I wish you had of asked me if I was ready.
I am alone at this table and I am not ready. Patience was not his virtue but grief is setting the table and I am not ready to say goodbye. I wish you had waited till I was ready.
And in a whisper, I hear my father say 'but here it is, in front of you. Grief does not wait for dinner to be served before it takes a seat at the table.'
– Hannah Green, "Knocking On Heavens Door" (Via 'unspokengrief' on Tumblr)
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inkmadeofsky · 10 days
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The draft version:
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vs the poem:
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The Star Loves the Night by ©inkmadeofsky
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accordingtolauren · 18 days
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What is it to know better?
I have slept with a loaded gun under my pillow since you've left
To remind me of your ironclad, torrid presence
The safety aching to turn as I held your red-hot remnants with steady hands pointed at my reflection in the mirror
There should have been more consequences to loving you
I was blood-stained and wounded
Self-inflicted and yet alluded to your copy-cat style stolen from some grey-faded, even older man who was supposed to love you
And I shove my hands in deep into my insides desperate to find the last of you haunting my body
But it was only my intestines that fell to the floor
And my dignity, that i'd rip myself apart for 'just some boy'
Soon i'd find you had already slithered your way to my mind
Atrophying my prefrontal cortex for dinner like a snake suffocates its prey in a serpetarium -- cowardly and given and all for show
I was hauled away for chasing childish infatuation for the notion of a twin flame
When, in actuality, it was a game of cat and mouse
You, this impression of a divine being with an omnipotency that had been painted with heavenly blues i'd never comprehend
And me, impressionable and small in your looming stature, desperate to be led by a calloused, clawed hand
So, you watched with those large green eye amongst the shadows until you pounced upon me
It was agonizing for you to be the only victim
And I now wait behind these padded white walls that I swear I could see your tiny face within
A solitude they were all so desperate to lock me within
So I couldn't run my mouth about those fabricated blues that were sworn true by sticky tongues of motherless boys too old to be playing with their food
Boys that will never be old enough to know better than to wrap needy fingers around girls
Little girls that'd never be taught what it is to know any better
-lauren a.p
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electrosquash · 7 months
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Follow the news. The Folkwang Museum's cancelling of Anaïs Duplan's exhibition (and still profiting from his work) is not the only institution overreacting preemptively in light of the current crackdown of israel-critical voices on a slippery slope to fascism.
These developments didn't just start with Hamas' attack on Israel of Octobre 7th:
But the political landscape is using its performative solidarity with Israel to restrict fundamental rights more and more especially with the rightwing parties heating up the migration debate again and the Ampel dropping all semblance of a backbone. And they aren't nearly done - keep in mind the upcoming elections where everyone wants a piece of AfD's fascism pie as they are projected to reach majority in three states.
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speedlimit15 · 3 months
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im not gonna lie everything i learn about tlt makes me want to read it less idk how you guys are doing this. then again i cant read fanfic either i think its just the distinct fic flair
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