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anystalker707 · 1 year

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Tea at 9pm

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gender neutral] Reader Words: ~ 4 100 Summary: You're not aware the cook had feelings for you. Tags: babygirl sanji / wholesome relationship / reader is a writer who keeps a journal with the crew's adventures / extremely fluffy ending

a/n: comfort fic once again lmao i had an existential crisis

MASTERLIST

If anyone asked what you did, it would feel like you were just a minor part of the crew, presumptuous, even, but things were different when they saw you actually get in action. In the first place, you wrote. You were a writer, author of some great novels that spreaded across the Grand Line, and secondly, you now were a Strawhat who kept a log of the crew’s adventures and fought when needed. The day Luffy recruited you was still fresh in your mind.

"So you’re a writer? You wrote all of this?" Luffy had asked thoughtfully with a hand on his chin as he eyed the piles of books. "Riiight... I need someone to write it down when I become the King of the Pirates! The news’ people always tell things wrong! Come with us!"

A smile traced your lips as you shook your head, now working on the illustration of the last island you'd been to, adding details and a little color. Sure wasn't the best drawing, but you still wanted to keep some sort of reminder from the lovely place.

The soft knock on the door came as it usually did, religiously, and there wasn't even the need for an answer before the door swung open. The click of shoes against the ground resonated through the small office-bedroom as he approached you and finally set the tray on the free space of the desk. Your and his cups were filled with hot tea as they were every night, the flavor declared by the strong smell that came along with the steam escaping from the drink.

"A lot of work today?" Sanji asked you as he took a seat on the armchair, crossing his legs.

"Not really." You shook your head. "We've been in the open sea for a couple of days already, so I'm just updating some old stuff." The drawing you showed him had been finished earlier, already properly inked and depicting part of the crew interacting at the island.

Sanji raised his eyebrows and slowly nodded, a smile decorating his face. "Does it still give you time to work on your personal stuff, though?" He took the unlit cigarette off between his lips and slipped it back into its case that belonged to the pocket on the inside of his blazer, which he ended up taking off and folding to leave it across the armchair’s arm.

“Sort of.” You shrugged a little. “I use a lot of my free time to work on it. It only gets difficult to manage when we’re down to things like when in Spypiea, Sabaody or Marineford. Even afterwards, I still need a couple of weeks to organize everything, interview you guys and stuff. We genuinely go through a lot of stuff, and you only realize it’s that much when you need to register it all down!” You chuckled a little, throwing your arms above yourself to stretch with a soft sigh. “My priority is to keep the crew’s log, though!”

“Oh? Not your career?”

“Of course not!” You shook your head. “You guys are wonderful people who once saved me and now we take care of each other. I can’t let you die—all of this die—without the story being properly told. It’s a great responsibility to keep a record of the adventures...” The words trailed off until you were lost in your thoughts instead, but you just shook your head and closed the few books you had opened after you marked all the pages, leaving untouched only the one that had the drying watercolor. Carefully, you took the still warm cup in hand, inhaling the sweet and rich smell of the tea. “Fruit?”

“Something from that island, but a fruit, indeed,” he justified, momentarily standing up so he could also get his tea. “I haven’t tried it yet, thought it would be best for the both of us to have it together. It’s important to me.”

“What if it’s bad?” You joked, turning your chair so you could face him.

“Then we throw it out the window and you write down how terrible it was so we never try it again!” He clicks his tongue in a feigned annoyance that has both of you laughing until forced to fall quiet to finally try the drink. “Well, I actually like it! You?”

You took a sip of the tea, giving yourself a moment to analyze the taste. “Good! Still not better than my favorite, but it’s still something!” The comment brought a grin to Sanji’s face as both of you shared a look.

Silence filled the room again quite comfortably, allowing you to hear the waves crashing outside. You took a look out the window and then at the clock on the table. “Who’s on the night watch today?” It’d been a while since you last left your room, probably only having done so for dinner during the last hours because Sanji wouldn’t leave you alone otherwise.

“That’s me!” His voice didn’t carry the same excitement as his face did as he looked into the cup.

“Want some company?” You offered. “I’m always up until late messing with my things, either—”

“Don’t think about it!” Sanji shook his free hand as he took a sip of the tea. “You had to wake up early today and take care of your writing this whole time, so you better have a good night of sleep! I know how those can be tiring! Mentally tiring!”

“Sanji!” You furrowed your eyebrows with a pout, but ended up just rolling your eyes once he shot you a glare, compelling him to snicker. A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned back on the chair. “I just wanted to keep you company. I want to show you some story ideas along with some drawings! Your night watch wouldn’t be so boring.”

“As much as I like your company, your rest comes first. I promise I’ll come check out all of that stuff tomorrow, okay? Besides, keep that night energy for when it’s your turn for the night watch!” Sanji lectured you despite the unfazed look you shot him before rolling your eyes—it was almost as if you weren’t the one who would take care of him during the night, either telling him to go to bed already when he cooked until too late or throwing a blanket over his shoulders because he fell asleep in the galley.

You were the first one to finish the drink, putting your empty cup away and wetting the watercolor again until Sanji stood up and placed his cup back on the tray as well.

“Don’t forget to go to sleep,” Sanji said, his face a few inches away from yours as he bent down with a hand on the back of the chair. “I’ll come here and put you to sleep if I notice you’re awake!”

“It’s not happening,” you promised him with a smile.

“Great!” Sanji wrapped an arm around your shoulders in a hug you awkwardly returned as you could, with a hand on his shoulder whilst leaning into his touch. He took the tray in hand so he could leave, wishing you a good night. His blazer was still on the armchair; you shook your head with a chuckle.

The next day, Sanji was still awake when you had breakfast. You quietly observed him swooning over Robin and Nami despite how tired he was, but your attention was on catching up with Luffy, Chopper, Franky, Brook and Usopp. Most of the day, you were locked in your office, reading in the library or drawing one of the tables on the desk, so they wouldn’t lose the opportunity of talking with you during the meals to know what you’d done so far. They loved to see the drawings of themselves, no matter how they were, always bugging you to take a look at something even on days you took off to yourself, so it was easy to spent the morning with them and later talk with Robin and Nami as well, not forgetting to go up to the Crow’s Nest for at least a few minutes to spot Zoro on a rep or two while chatting.

A little after lunch, Sanji knocked on your room’s door. “Hell, I’m really tired!”

You glanced away from your papers to see him kick off his shoes before collapsing on your bed face-first, grabbing one of the pillows to rest his head on, sort of hugging it. “Did you take a nap? You left your blazer here last night, by the way!”

“Oh, so that’s where it was this whole time, thank you! And no! I ended up preparing breakfast during the night then prepared lunch after breakfast was served,” he explained, muffled by the pillow until he turned his head to face you.

“Should’ve tried to get some sleep.” You sighed, dipping your pen in ink again.

“It’s not like that,” he groaned. “I left some food ready just in case, though, just so I can rest now. I thought I’d come talk to you first since I promised.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at the cook, pausing so you could ruffle his hair, which made him close his eyes for a moment. “Nonsense. You could’ve just gone to sleep, I’d understand it! You don’t need to sacrifice yourself.”

“Shhh, I promised.” Sanji narrowed his eyes a little. “Tell me, what did you want to show me?”

“Right... First of all, I had some retouches on the drawings I’d made for Sabaody, so I wanted you to take a look at them to make sure I’m not forgetting anything,” you mumbled while you flipped to the pages where the drawings were and handed the book to him. Through time, your chat grew slower, with sporadic and distant answers coming from Sanji until you looked at him and noticed he was actually asleep. The sight made a small smile stretch your lips before you went back to working quietly as always.

A knock on the door pulled you away from your thoughts and you looked back to see Nami’s head peeking him from the slightly-open door. “Hey, (y/n), have you seen—” She looked around for a little and fell silent.

“Seen what?”

“Actually, nevermind!” She shot you a smile. “Sorry for interrupting!”

“No worries!” You smiled, waving as she quietly closed the door once again.

The new island was filled with casinos, clubs, markets and stores with the most peculiar things that had a great part of the crew voting to stay for longer than a day since there weren’t any worries that tied you down to dates or time. Usopp, Sanji, Nami and Robin seemed excited about a particular club after you took a look at it while getting to know the city, so they invited you and Brook and it was almost impossible to refuse; you easily found yourself getting ready in front of the mirror before you left to go wait for the others with Nami and Usopp. Sanji was the last to show up, covering Nami and Robin with compliments that they already learned not to give much attention to, instead already moving to leave the ship.

“You’re looking extra good today, (y/n)!” Nami smiled, hooking her arm with yours and discreetly distancing from the rest of the group with you. “Trying to catch someone’s attention?”

“Maybe?” You chuckled. “It’s been a while since we last stopped at such a nice island, so I thought a one-night thing isn’t gonna hurt!”

Nami blinked a couple of times. “One-night thing?”

“No new crewmates!” You shook your head, contributing more to Nami’s confused look, which you also didn’t quite understand.

She hummed, looking away for a long moment. “Um, and Sanji?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well...” She breathed and shrugged a little, about to say something when she was hit on the back of the head by something and it was enough for her mood to change completely. Her teeth were gritted and eyes practically white while a vein popped on her temple as she slowly looked back to see the three men stand there quietly, pale, ready for the shouting that promptly came from her along with hits. Robin brought a hand to her mouth as she chuckled, and you sweatdropped, continuing to walk.

The night was long. You’d drunk, not a lot to do things you regretted, but enough to rather easily accept hanging out with people you’d just met, exploring the city and talking bullshit.

“Just a little longer,” the girl said as she waved at you and the two other people that trailed behind, carefully walking through the woods until you made it to a rock on top of a mountain. “It’s gonna be there.” She pointed to a spot behind the mountains of another island in the distance, where it was already lighter and it did seem like the sun would start rising in a few minutes, just as she had promised.

Even with little to help, the four of you made yourselves comfortable on the cold rock; you used one of the guys’ sweatshirt as a makeshift pillow, observing the sky quietly while they talked with each other. Despite the alcohol still in your system, what made you groggy was mostly the lack of sleep.

“Hey,” the girl said as she lay down next to you, on her side, holding herself up with an elbow. “Do you... Okay, I won’t waste time. Can I kiss you?”

You almost choked on your spit, your cheeks immediately growing warm at the question that sent your thoughts racing. At first, all you could do was sputter half words, unable to connect thoughts, until she chuckled and you decided to take a deep breath. “Okay, so, um... I’m... Well, not right now. Actually, I like someone else, a lot. I can’t picture myself kissing another person.”

“Oh. That sucks,” she sighed. “You look really nice, but I don’t think you’re staying around for long, anyways. Say more, though. Tell me about who you like.”

The time your cheeks heated up again was for another reason, with a softer feeling stirring in your chest. “He’s... I think he doesn’t like me, y’know? He’s a real flirt, but not with me. I feel like we are just great friends and it ends there. We are really close, but not the sort of close I wish it were.”

“Did you even tell him you like him?” She raised an eyebrow and you shook your head. “You should!”

“I don’t want it to hurt.” You smiled a little, but without humor.

She furrowed her eyebrows a little as if she understood your situation. “Well, maybe hurting is not a bad thing. It makes you stronger, and it would make you free to kiss other people!” She started to chuckle at the same time you did so, shaking your head a little.

You had a hand over your brow line to keep a shadow over your eyes while your shoes hung from your other hand when you returned to the ship later that same day, already tired and feeling like you’d never get back to Sunny, feeling as if you’d been run over a thousand times. All you could do once you arrived back to the ship was to sleep, only waking up again when it was already late in the afternoon, mumbling something about something being different in your bedroom before you could go for a shower.

“Whoa, look at who’s alive!” Usopp announced once you walked out to the deck, attracting a lot of pairs of eyes to you.

“Good night?” Zoro teased with a chuckle. “Even forgot you had a home!”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you took a seat at a table with Robin. “Shut up, Zoro, you don’t even know how to get home by yourself!”

Given how you’d practically slept all day long, you decided to change turns with Robin and take the night watch for the day. It was a nice, warm night, so you didn’t bother staying outside with your books, illustrating the island during the night. It felt like something was missing, still. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the galley’s direction. There was no tea that night.

Brook took over the nightwatch halfway through the night, allowing you to sleep and wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning. Nami was the first person you ran into once you left your room, happy for finally feeling well after partying all night a day before. “Nami!”

“Oi, (y/n)!” She smiled as she approached you. “Good morning!”

“Morning!” You smiled in return. “Have you seen Sanji? He didn’t bring me tea yesterday. Actually, I didn’t see him at all, now that I think about it.”

Nami’s face fell in a way you didn’t really like, almost taking a step back as you watched her. “Hm, you see...” She sighed, with a hand on her hip. “You didn’t come back to the ship that night, so he was worried. He even tidied up your room so you didn’t need to do anything when you arrived.”

“Right...? Explains a lot.”

“And he thought you were with someone else. Like, hooking up.”

“I wasn’t but...” You shrugged. “What’s up with that?”

The expression across Nami’s face was the same as when she had seen Luffy let himself fall for Usopp’s lies for the first time. “That made him feel bad.”

“Sanji and I aren’t something, Nami.” You furrowed your eyebrows, reminded of the talk you had with the island’s residents that night.

Nami seemed as if she would explode. “Well, maybe he wishes there were?”

“I—”

“(Y/n), Sanji likes you!” She just gave up with a sigh, taking a quick look around before she continued. “He adores you! He doesn’t flirt with people anymore, he just compliments and does things for them because he’s always believed he needed to, mainly to women! Still, he doesn’t make tea for everyone, every night! He doesn’t stay up until late for anyone or makes them company during the night! I’ve never seen Sanji leave his clothes anywhere else rather than in the male quarters! Besides, he keeps one of your novels and a picture with you under his pillow! I saw it!”

That was a lot to take in. You didn’t know Sanji treated you differently in that sense, in the first place, let alone know that he liked you. It made sense now that you thought about it, of course, because he wouldn’t be spending the same amount of time with the others as well if he was there making you company for most of the day. Some nights, he would be there asleep on your bed while you worked on your books.

“Sorry,” Nami exhaled. “I really didn’t want it all to fall upon you suddenly like this, but you needed to know it already! Sanji doesn’t deserve this! Either reject him already or take care of him. He deserves someone to love him.”

You quickly nodded. “I know.”

Not a lot needed to be said. There wasn’t a lot to be said. You looked at Nami a last time before you walked right back into your room, taking a deep sigh as her words still echoed through your mind, each of them connected to a memory you held and you couldn’t help but to feel a weight in your chest—Sanji must’ve felt terrible when he noticed you disappeared at the club after you refused to dance with him so you could leave with your new friends. It would be easy to fix, at least theoretically, because your stomach churned at the thought of facing Sanji right now.

Your morning wasn’t a lot different from the others, locked in your room and staring at a white page, but the purpose of your writing was different this time. Your feelings were going to be spilled, bleeded all over a page without any filter or restriction because they needed to be understood so no one would be hurt anymore. In the end, it was beautifully folded and with Sanji written in your gold ink while sealed with wax.

Sanji was serving breakfast and chatting around, out on the deck—you double checked—when you sneaked into the galley and left the paper in a safe place, where you knew he’d find it. Hell, it was pathetic. You needed to declare your feelings through a little letter because you didn’t have the guts to face the guy yourself after unintentionally hurting his feelings. In your defense, writing was the best thing you could do.

At the same time it was relieving, you could feel anxiety bubbling under your skin. The situation would slip away from your mind at times, but at others, you felt like Sanji would show up out of sudden saying that you were going crazy. Hopefully not.

When it was night, however, the knock finally came, as it always had done before, without missing a single day, for months straight. You tensed up this time, letting him walk in and watching the tray be placed on the free space of your desk—you didn’t even know when it became instinctive to leave that side clear for the tray. Aside from the mugs, this time, there was a bite-sized sweet as well, your favorite.

“I read it.” Sanji’s voice was small, practically vulnerable. His hand was shaking when it retreated from the tray.

“Sanji—”

“I’m sorry I just concluded things!” He cut in quickly.

You furrowed your eyebrows, turning on your chair, but he didn’t meet your eyes, instead looking at the ground. “No, you did nothing wrong! I should’ve paid more attention, I just... I wasn’t communicative enough as well...” You couldn’t find the right words, express the right things, so you took a pause, standing up. He didn’t take a step back when you approached. “I’m sorry, Sanji. Don’t leave me, please. Nami helped me realize things. Sorry for the time we lost.”

Sanji was almost in the same state, with thoughts roaming around his mind without order, but lacking the courage to be voiced, though he knew he couldn’t lose the opportunity—he couldn’t lose you. “(Y/n).”

“I love you, Sanji. I know I’ve told you this before, but now I mean it in another way.”

Sanji’s face was impossibly red. His hand twitched as he reached out to you; it was as if you two were sparkles searching for each other, looking for the right time to go off, which happened exactly when you took his hand in his and let him pull you closer in a tight hug.

“I love you,” he mumbled in response, and it almost felt as if you’d explode, with your heart skipping beats and fluttering in your chest, not even knowing what it does.

It was a relief, really. A relief and a sea of happiness simultaneously because your doubts and anguishes were extinguished at the same time you were finally able to do what you’ve longed for for so long. You let your nose brush against his before your lips met. The taste and smell of tobacco was undeniable, but it still didn’t erase the fact his lips were soft, returning the care and want that you felt for him.

Sanji seemed giddy, blushing and flustered, but also excited to the point he almost didn’t know what to do with himself. He pulled you with him to sit down on the bed and took a look at you, grinning wide before taking your hands in his; he left kisses all over your knuckles then did the same over your face, needing to pause to smile because of how you giggled, and your lips were pressed together again.

You had to place a hand on his chest so you were able to pull away, climbing on the bed properly to push him down and straddle his hips, taking a moment to observe him look at you with wide eyes. “You’re beautiful,” you whispered, still feeling your heart beat strongly in your chest. Sanji’s cheeks felt warm against your palms when you cupped his face, caressing his cheeks and carefully brushing his bangs away from his face; he swallowed dryly, but never stopped you, hands placed over yours softly. “I love you, Sanji!”

Sanji’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times without saying anything until he finally said it once again. “I love you.” There wasn’t a ‘too’ because his love was independent of yours, he loved you and would do it even if you didn’t love him back. He grinned as the excitement bubbled up in his chest, making him feel all giddy again, in a way it was even hard to contain himself when you leaned in for a kiss once more.

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

#one piece #vinsmoke sanji #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #gender neutral #sanji x reader #one piece x reader #imagine #oneshot #fan fic #fan fiction #monkey d luffy #roronoa zoro #usopp #nico robin #nami #tony tony chopper

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griefabyss69 · 7 months

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@zombiethingy and @steddieas-shegoes both tagged me!!! Thanks for the tags <3 <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25! All from this year <3 6 of them are microfics but everything else is around 1K - 21K! I've never in my life written this much lmao

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

129,098! That's a lot for me <3

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far just Stranger Things!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Still Motion (Paraphilia 01)

Last Man Standing (First fic in the LARP AU series)

Between Light and Darkness (First in the Vampire Eddie series)

Acceptance and Negation (Paraphilia 02)

Hell Patrol (First in the Apocalypse AU series)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!!! There's only one or two I didn't and that's because they were rude

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of mine have an angsty ending tbh... Mostly because I write a lot of porn but also because even when I write for myself to vent there needs to be a way through all of the horrible shit. Otherwise I'm just adding stress to my life!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say they're all fairly happy with a similar type of end goal! HOWEVER....... there's one I have planned that might stand above the rest in terms of happy endings, but it's like... a long term project that I have no idea when I'm even going to properly start.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I haven't! I usually moderate comments, and the rude ones I got were more of the 'you clearly missed the mark of what I wrote' or not finding a polite/nice way of asking me to continue writing the fic

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! The realistically unrealistic kind! Also, usually involves some kind of BDSM or kink related thing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I won't say I'll never do it but I don't even have another fandom I'd be willing to write for at this time, let alone smash them together.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, unless I haven't come across it! I think it's cool if someone gets inspired by something I write though, especially anything that's not already common in ST fandom!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it'd be cool if someone wants to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! I've like.... done a lot of yelling about potential things to write though. I have a lot of WIPs because of some of you LMAO I think the actual writing part of things is a very solitary activity for me usually, but I'm open to trying something short and sweet with someone (if things like time and energy line up as well)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddie, if we don't consider fandoms I'm no longer actively reading things for! However I'm pretty easy to please, I love Steve and Eddie as characters and so seeing them in other ships (like Stommy and Hellcheer or a threesome version etc) is always a good time!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have two fics I started writing before I wrote the first one I published. They're important to me and also my writing has changed so much that I'm scared to even try editing them, because I don't want them to lose that specific thing they have that I might not be able to conjure back up.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Tension, when I get it right, it becomes the best thing about what I've written, no matter what the context is! Also I keep finding I write gay sex between two friends who are in love but just haven't Gotten To That Part yet, so I'd also say an emotional slowburn but a sexual flashfire.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Outlining, keeping up with motivation if I at all try to organize or plan in on purpose. I have to trick myself, like hiding a little pill in a piece of cheese, in order to have planning and organization in a fic. That's part of the reason why I operate in series instead of really long multi-chapter fics, because that's one way I can hide the pill from myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I haven't ever and I don't know if I'd be confident enough in my resources to do that! But it's cool when other people do.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

...so I was like 11 years old writing Inuyasha and Kagome...

ST is the first fandom I've published for in over a decade AND it's the first fandom that I've published more than one fic for.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

That's really hard to answer. I really like a lot of aspects from all of them! Dive (microfic, july prompt "pool", body worship) was my favourite for ages, though. And it's still my fave microfic for sure!!

Acceptance and Negation might be my favourite longer fic, there's just something about the antagonism and complicated feelings about being so horny over everything that I find really fun to write!

No pressure tags!!!! @vecnuthy @wormdebut @hbyrde36 @penny00dreadful @stobinesque and anyone who wants to do it! <3

#fun things #chats from the abyss

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ferperss · 1 month

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Loved reading your lore so thank you for the tag!! @sportsthoughts

I spent waaaay too much time writing this but once I started I felt like I couldn’t stop lmao, so I’m applauding anyone that gets through it!

The story of how I ended up where I am today is a long and winding road lmao. But I think I should start by prefacing with the fact that hockey has been a part of my life since I was born essentially. There are pictures of me on a pair of skates at around age 2 when my dad first tried to teach me! Then I played consistently from age 6 to 14 but quit when they wanted me to leave the “girls” team and play with the women because I was intimidated haha. Besides playing myself I’ve also spent many hours with my dad on the couch watching Sweden play in any and all kinds of tournaments, worlds, Olympics you name it, and since he never really rooted for any other team in Sweden or outside of it I just kind of slowly fell into that same thing. I knew there was a hockey league overseas that a lot of our own players were shipped off to but I never really had any interest in rooting for a team that wasn’t team Sweden at the time.

In the winter of 2014, I was at the ripe age of 15 and I did not play hockey anymore nor did I care about any teams really, but two of my best friends at the time became OBSESSED with this one junior player and kept talking about him. This man was none other than Thee Mr Willy Nylander himself. This led to the three of us obsessing over him and we watched him play in the world juniors over our winter break. It got to the point of us picking fights with people on twitter that said he was a bad player and really anyone that said anything negative about our Swedish players hahaha. We had a group chat named after him and everything. We eventually lost interest and forgot about him but this story is important because it comes back later.

Flash forward to May 2023! Before I entered my hockey era again I had an eight month long absolutely crushing obsession with the TV show 9-1-1 that was airing on Fox at the time (ABC now thank god, I still keep track) that came to a screeching halt when the season 6 finale aired and I hated it. I swore up and down that I was never ever going to watch that show again and now that the one thing I had been so fixated on for so long was gone I did not know what to do with myself. Which sounds so dramatic but honestly sometimes I don’t know who I am if I have nothing to obsess over. So naturally I needed entertainment and as I looked up through the haze of firefighters and network drama I found that the 2023 IIHF World Championship in Tampere and Riga was on! And I had no choice! There was hockey to be watched and I sure did watch it. Now, it did not go too well for the Swedish team last year, which is okay. But one thing that happened was the constant debate on wether Willy Nylander was going to join in. His brother was there and his teammate Timothy Liljegren also joined in. But there was no word on Willy himself. And it was all they talked about. He obviously did not end up joining but all the talk had made me nostalgic. And naturally I had to revisit the old object of obsession and see how he was doing over the Atlantic and turns out he was doing quite well indeed. And because I am a sucker for team dynamics and narratives (who could ever believe I studied film for five years) I desperately clung onto the Toronto Maple Leafs like my life depended on it. What I didn’t know was that these were also transformative times, and once I’d gotten into the team and the organization, I was bewildered when Kyle Dubas all of a sudden was going to another team??? How could that be?? The Penguins?? And that’s when I found my way to the Pittsburgh Penguins, the power of Dubas’ cardigans and Sidney Crosby’s fat ass gripped me and now I split my time between my equally cursed teams like they’re my divorced parents. And here we are.

Naturally there are a lot of nuances left out of here, I’ve covered the key points but I think that there are probably so many reasons that it was the perfect time for me to get into hockey again and here we are almost a year later and there’s no going back now!! I’m stuck here forever. And I would not have it any other way <3

This is the end of ramblings and I’ll say if there’s anything I love more than hockey, it’s being dramatic, and also I didn’t spell check this at all so if it’s not perfect I’m sorry (I’d love to blame it on English not being my first language but it’s the only subject I’ve always had straight A’s in so it’s not really applicable it’s just me being lazy)

#still need fo figure out how I’m tagging my personal stuff #I was going to use #not hockey just me #but that’s not really true in this case so I don’t know #tag games

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touyasdoll · 3 years

Text

The Past Never Dies Collab

To celebrate hitting 5k followers (thank you again!!), I am announcing my first ever collab! I’ve never been on the hosting end of one of these before, so please bear with me <3

We all know that the past never truly dies and what better reminder of that fact is there than an old flame suddenly waltzing right back into your life just when things are heating up with someone new?

If it isn’t embarrassingly obvious from nearly all the fics I’ve written, I’m the biggest sucker for love triangles, so that’s what this is all about! Take your pick of lovers to pit against one another & let the mess unfold.

Rules

You must be 18 or older and have your age in your bio/pinned post/somewhere accessible to join.

You do not have to be following me.

Available to join anytime between now and the due date.

NSFW and dark content are welcome, but must be tagged accordingly.

Fandoms included: BNHA, JJK, AOT, TR, HQ, & KNY.

Minimum word count of 2k. No maximum limit.

Due WHENEVER. I can’t meet a deadline to save my life lmao.

Character repeats are allowed. Repeat character x reader x character combinations are also allowed.

Cross fandom combinations are more than welcome! I would love to read about Gojou & Hawks fighting for your affection. Orrrr: Baji & Eren, Tanjirou & Yuuji, Giyu & Levi, Sukuna & Hanma. You get it.

And if you wanna make things really messy? Throw in another character or two?? Go for it! There will never be enough reverse harem content in the world, honestly.

Please like this post, so that I know that you have read & understand the rules! Reblogs are also appreciated <3

How to Join

Please send me an ask with the characters that you would like to write for and the url that the final work will be posted to, so that I can add you to the masterlist.

When you post your piece, either tag me or send me the link and I will add it to the masterlist <3

Additional Info

I will be reading and reblogging every submission!

If you want to change your selected characters, need to drop, or will be late, please just let me know! It’s totally alright with me. Send an ask/dm & I’ll take care of it, no problem at all.

This will serve as the sign-up masterlist. I will create a separate masterlist the week before the due date to serve as a reminder that submissions are almost due and to keep everything as organized as possible <3

Masterlist below the cut.

BNHA

@touyasdoll Dabi/Touya Todoroki x reader x Hawks/Keigo Takami

@yesitsmewhataboutit Katsuki Bakugou x reader x Shouto Todoroki

@lilithbasically Katsuki Bakugou, Eijirou Kirishima, Shouto Todoroki, & Izuku Midoriya x reader

@bakugous-sandbag Katsuki Bakugou x reader x Yo Shindou

@pureofheartaudio Tamaki Amajiki x Suki (OC) x Mirio Togata

JJK

@vault-touched Megumi Fushiguro x reader x Yuuji Itadori

@fanfiction-is-my-food Satoru Gojou x reader x Suguru Getou

AOT

@blueparadis Grayscale Life - Chifuyu Matsuno x reader x Kazutora Hanemiya

@prettyiwa Toru Oikawa x reader x Wakatoshi Ushijima

@haikyutiehoe Kiyoomi Sakusa, Atsumu Miya, & Kotaro Bokuto x reader

KNY

Cross Fandom

@mitsuyaya Kei Tsukishima x reader x Yuta Okkotsu

@writewithmarites Shouta Aizawa x reader x Hwa-jin Na

@gabzlovesu Faded Memories - Kento Nanami x reader x Keishin Ukai

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comfortbucky · 3 years

Note

Hey! Can i request a cold, lonely ex-hydra reader × bucky who falls in love with her. Adding some panic attacks and nightmares of the reader.

i love this idea!!! thank u for submitting🥰

𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗲 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆

pairing: avenger!bucky x ex-HYDRA!fem!reader

tags: enemies(?) to lovers, angst (if u squint), soft!bucky

warnings: canon level violence, description of injuries, blood is mentioned, panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares

A/N: i just came up with a random name for the HYDRA leader the reader is after🤣 so just ,,, ignore // also!!!! i tried out a different writing style than what i’m used to! hope u don’t mind🥺 just been feeling like a lot of my writing is the same and wanted to try something new!!!

word count: 3.5k (this is so long LMAO sorry 😭 literally why am i like this)

my masterlist!

completed requests!

The suit that you once considered a second skin, now felt uncomfortable and constricting, like a python squeezing the life out of you. Although, it made sense since the very organization of the uniform you were wearing did exactly that.

HYDRA.

For so long you were just another mindless pawn to them, just doing without every actually thinking. Unlike your younger brother, Alex. They indoctrinated him as well, getting a hold of both of you from a young age, but he was there when Captain America took down S.H.I.E.L.D. and it changed his entire worldview. You found everything he said about “freedom” to be stupid, naive, and dangerous. And you would later prove yourself correct.

You pull yourself from your thoughts as a group of HYDRA soldiers walk past the shrubbery you hid behind. Quickly and quietly, you get up and join them as they march towards the HYDRA base. As soon as you get inside, you manage to slip away from the rest of the group to search for your target.

Since HYDRA took the possibility of you ever having a normal life away, as far as you were concerned, your only purpose in life was to kill the man who was at the center of it all, Viktor Cross. And after months of tracking him down, formulating the perfect plan, that’s exactly what you were going to do today.

You make your way towards one of the main lab facilities, gun in hand when you see several unconscious guards lying on the floor in front of you. Shifting your gaze up, you see that the door has been ripped open, grip marks on the sides.

This was not part of the plan.

As you squeeze through the open door and enter the lab, you come to a halt, frozen in shock. There’s your target, Viktor, shoved against the wall by none other than Captain America himself. You almost let out a chuckle in disbelief at the irony of the situation. Instead, you take a step forward, and the glass cracks beneath your feet, alerting the men of your presence.

Shit.

Immediately, both sets of eyes are on you. Viktor’s lips curve into a smirk as you make your way to them.

“Agent- Miss Y/N,” he corrects himself. “What a pleasant surprise.” You ignore him and look to address Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America.

“Let him go and give him to me,” you start, Steve eyeing you cautiously. “So I can kill him,” you snarl, quickly turning to Viktor to see that his smirk had been wiped off his face.

“Aren’t you HYDRA?” He questions, nodding to your suit and eliciting a cackle from Viktor.

“Not anymore,” you mumble, before lifting a leg to kick Steve in his side. You hit him across the face with the end of your gun for good measure. He stumbles over, giving you enough time to grab Viktor’s collar, before he falls to the floor, and slam him back against the wall. His eyes are full of desperation and you felt nothing but pure, burning rage. You shove the barrel of your gun under his chin and place your hand on the trigger.

“You were such a gifted agent, Y/N. Don’t throw away such potential, come back.”

“Go to hell.”

Before you could pull the trigger, a force propels you to the ground and you feel a sharp pain in your side. Silence and then ringing fills your eyes as you squint your eyes to try and visualize the situation. Your vision is blurry, but clear enough to clouds of smoke engulf Viktor’s figure as he escapes. A muffled voice from behind you speaks, but you can’t make out any of the words they’re saying. You look down to see red. Just crimson red, staining your abdomen. Hands land on your shoulders, shaking you gently as your vision fades to black.

Viktor is in front of you, the barrel of his gun directed right at your head. He smirks as he moves his hand to the trigger.

“Hail, HYDRA.”

A gunshot goes off, forcing you to shoot up in bed, gasping for air. As you start to regain your senses, you realize you’re surrounded by a group of strangers. Well, not complete strangers, the Avengers to be exact. Part of your job required you to study their files, learn everything about them. You could recite from memory where and when they were born, their greatest strengths and weaknesses. Suddenly, your side starts to burn with pain, and you carefully lean back in bed. There’s an array of wires and tubes connected to you and you hear the rhythmic beeping of various machines. You’re in a hospital, or some sort of medical facility.

“That, is exactly why I said we should use restraints.”

You’re staring at the ceiling when you hear Iron Man, AKA Tony Stark, speak.

“Tony, she lost a liter of blood, she’s not going anywhere.”

Steve appears in your view, looking down at you.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

You shift your gaze away from him. The last thing you expected to come out of this mission was to meet the Avengers, let alone them save you.

Steve sighs, “We’re not gonna hurt you. We wanna find Viktor too.”

There’s nothing he could say that could get you to speak. Your hatred for HYDRA didn’t mean you suddenly liked the Avengers. If anything, they were part of the problem too, so you stay silent.

“Told you, she’s not gonna talk,” Tony quips. From your research, you had come to learn that he was an arrogant man, and his statement only proved you right. “Maybe you should get Manchurian Candidate to come down, give her an ex-HYDRA buddy,” he says sarcastically.

Upon hearing “ex-HYDRA buddy,” you furrow your brows. Maybe it was the lack of blood in your body, but it took you a second to process his words and understand who he was referring to. Your eyes dart back to look at Steve’s but he’s gone.

“I’ll be back.” His voice trails off as he exits the room.

You’re still staring at the ceiling when you hear footsteps return and then several others departing.

There’s only one other person in the room beside you. Without even looking up, you already know who it is. His breathing was slow and steady until you started to shift in bed to reposition yourself. His breath hitched for a moment, before returning back to his normal breathing pattern.

“Killing him isn’t gonna make you feel better.” His comment makes you roll your eyes as you slowly sit up to look at him. There were no logical thoughts in your head, all you could feel was pain and fury. Anger swelled within you, your emotions boiling over.

“That’s rich, coming from the Fist of HYDRA,” you spat out. As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt your stomach drop. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one you hadn’t felt in a while. What was it? Regret?

Bucky’s face fell but he kept his eyes on you. It was a look that made you feel worse, worse than the searing pain in your side.

“I’m not a killer anymore,” he said in a tone so gentle, you felt another strange, new emotion but couldn’t quite label it. You quickly shift gears to avoid addressing the uncomfortable feelings swirling around in your stomach.

“Are you keeping me hostage to lure Viktor in? Because it's not going to work." Bucky shook his head.

"We want..." he trailed off, causing you to tilt your head in curiosity. “We need your help finding him.” You scoffed.

“What do I get out of it?” Bucky’s silence gave you your answer. Shaking your head, you start to disconnect yourself from the multitude of wires attached to you and get out of bed.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself,” he started, as you threw off your blanket and sat on the edge of the bed.

Standing up quickly, the blood from your head pooled in your legs, causing you to feel dizzy. Your head spun and your arms reached out for something, anything stable to grab onto. It was a metal hand. Despite it being cool to the touch, it ignited a heat to rise to your cheeks. You look down and mumble a thank you as Bucky helps you back into bed.

Letting out a sigh, you realize with the condition you’re in, you can’t leave. Definitely not well enough to go after Viktor alone. Shutting your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose, you curse under your breath.

“Fine,” you finally speak, keeping your eyes closed. Bucky nods, even though you don’t see, and you hear him walk off.

After a couple days of rest, you were cleared by Bruce to get discharged. Viktor had gone deep in hiding, making your job to find him a lot harder. Tony had so graciously given you an extra room in the tower, right next to Bucky’s. He was probably the one person you saw the most, purely due to location, and the fact that everyone else cautiously kept their distance from you. It made sense though, since you rarely spoke to anyone and spent most of your time in the lab looking for any clues of Viktor’s location. When you weren’t searching for him, you were training in the gym. Bucky was there a lot too, both of you waking up at ungodly hours of the morning. No words were ever exchanged between the two of you, and yet, there was some level of comfort you felt being around him. Must’ve been an ex-HYDRA thing.

“What’s on your mind?” You walk over to Alex and sit on the edge of the bed next to him. He sighs.

“What if,” he starts, furrowing his brows. “What if freedom is good?” He speaks quietly, fearful of HYDRA listening in on your conversation.

It feels like you’ve got the wind knocked out of you.

“Alex,” you grab him by the shoulders. “What the hell are you talking about?” You’re searching his eyes, trying to understand what’s gotten into him.

“Captain America.” The biggest threat to HYDRA’s existence. He looks down at his hands. “He was willing to risk his life for it. It has to be worth something right?” Alex looks back up to you with a look in his eyes that you haven’t seen since you were children. Uncertainty. You sigh and pull him into your chest, stroking his hair.

“I don’t know, kiddo. Maybe.”

You wake up in a cold sweat, panting. Hot tears fall from the corners of your eyes. It’s the same dream you’ve had for the last week. Although, you wouldn’t consider it a dream necessarily, but it wasn’t a nightmare either. Just a bittersweet memory.

Bucky could tell that something was up with you for the past week. Despite having gone through a bit of therapy, Steve’s idea, the nightmares still came to him. So Bucky was already wide awake when he heard your weeping on the other side of the wall. It didn’t help that he was also a light sleeper with super-soldier hearing. He didn’t know what was causing you to be so upset, but he didn’t want to intrude and ask. Neither of you had spoken to the other since you first arrived.

But this night was different from the rest. Usually, you would flip endlessly through channels on ur TV until you eventually fell asleep, but it wasn’t working this time. There’s a tight pain in your chest and suddenly, you’re suffocating. You rip off your covers and spring out of bed, tripping on your blankets along the way. At this point, you don’t even register the pain of slamming down, face-first on the ground. Panic has taken over your body, tears now streaming down your face. You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping for relief.

He wasn’t planning on doing anything until he heard a loud thud from your room. Immediately, Bucky gets up and arrives at your door. It’s rude to just barge into someone’s room, his mom taught him that from a young age, so he settles on knocking. You don’t hear it though, the only sound you hear is the sound of your rapid breathing as you hyperventilate. Bucky hears it too and ultimately decides on inviting himself into your room.

“Y/N?”

You’re lying on your side, curled up in a fetal position with your hands covering your face, when Bucky opens the door. He quickly arrives by your side, kneeling beside you, as he examines you for any injuries.

“Are you hurt?”

You manage to shake your head in response, anxiety still flowing through your veins. Unfortunately, Bucky’s familiar with panic attacks, having had them himself. But he also knows that everyone deals with them a bit differently. Guess he did manage to learn some useful things from therapy.

“Can you try breathing with me?”

He starts to take deep breaths in and out until he sees you start to follow along with him, your hands still covering your face. There’s a part of you that feels stupid for keeping them there, but they help ground you, so you continue to shield your face. After what feels like an hour, but was probably only 10 minutes, your panic subsides. That’s when a wave of embarrassment hits you, realizing that it had been Bucky with you during your panic attack.

Slowly removing your hands from your face, you’re greeted by piercing blue eyes. You blink a couple times, realizing that Bucky had taken a spot on the ground, lying on his side to face you, his hands pressed together under his head like a pillow. He smiles and you feel warm. It’s terrifying, the new feelings that Bucky has caused you to feel and yet, you don’t mind.

“You feelin’ better?” You nod and smile back, something you haven’t genuinely done in a while.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

You stare at each other in silence, lying side by side. There’s no physical touch involved but somehow, this moment, it feels intimate. Bucky breaks the silence.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He speaks in a voice so soft, it almost sounded like a whisper.

It might’ve been the fact that he just calmed you down from a panic attack, but as you looked into his eyes, you felt the walls you had built up for the last year slowly come crashing down.

“He killed my brother,” you reply, maintaining your eyes on Bucky. You searched his eyes for any fear or pity, but all you could find was a look of understanding. His eyes were starting to become a safe place for you.

“Alex was there when Steve took down S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA along with it. He wanted out, out of the organization.” Taking a deep breath, you continue. “Word got around about a “rat,” so I took the blame. Viktor was about to shoot me when Alex’s dumbass ran in front of me, sacrificing himself.” You let out a chuckle, your vision getting blurry as tears swelled in your eyes. “He was a goddamn idiot, but he also had a heart of gold.”

As you start to cry, Bucky hesitatingly extends an arm to hover over your body, trying to gauge your reaction. Physical touch was something he struggled with during the beginning of his recovery, and he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. He’s reassured when you grab onto his shirt and pull yourself closer to him, and wraps an arm around you, his other hand softly stroking your head.

You hadn’t cried like this since Alex died, bottling up all of your emotions to focus on finding the man responsible for his death. But as you sobbed into Bucky’s chest, you realize that your love for Alex had transformed into an ugly, burning hatred for Viktor. He wouldn’t want this. You didn’t want it, at least, not anymore. The only thing you wanted was your brother back, and that was impossible.

Bucky held you in his arms until you fell asleep, listening to the sounds of your slow, rhythmic breathing, dozing off shortly after.

That night with Bucky had softened your cold, hard exterior that you initially presented yourself with. You would willingly spar with Nat in the training room and join the team for breakfast or dinner. Everyone noticed and, while at first thrown off by it, happily embraced it. Especially Bucky.

Initially, he got up to work out in the early hours of the morning as a habit. Now, he woke up to see you. His heart did flips in his chest every time he walked in the gym and saw you. Since that night, you started to acknowledge his presence, turning to smile and wave as he walked through the doors. It was something he looked forward to every day.

During the day, you were focused hard on tracking down Viktor and Bucky knew that. But he also knew he wanted to spend more time with you. He looked for reasons to enter the lab, whether it was offering snacks to you throughout the day or helping Bruce or, even Tony. Anything to see you again.

Bucky realized that there was a deeper, stronger emotion that he felt for you when he would wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. The first thing he thought about was you. Specifically, how you were the only thing that could possibly calm him down. Although he’d come in that night to help you with your panic attack, you ended up helping him as well. He hadn’t slept as soundly and peacefully as he did with you. And you hadn’t either. There were several nights when neither of you could sleep and ended up running into each other. It slowly became a routine that would begin in the kitchen, exchanging life stories, and end on the couch in the common area, entangled in each other’s arms.

Tonight you didn’t show up and Bucky panicked. He stared at the kitchen clock. It had been 20 minutes and you still hadn’t shown up. Bucky racked his brain for anything he could’ve done to scare you off, but came up with nothing. It wasn’t like you two had been officially together, Bucky had no idea what you were to each other. All he knew is that he wanted to be with you, always.

You were soundly asleep in bed, passing out as soon as your head hit the pillow. It was a particularly physically exhausting day for you, training with both Nat and Steve.

Bucky was so caught up with the thoughts racing through his head, he hadn’t noticed that his feet had taken him right to your door. He stands there for a moment, silently debating what to do. Grumbling under his breath, he musters up the courage to knock on your door. Right as he was about to turn away and shuffle off to his room, your door opens. You greet him with a yawn and a tired smile.

“Oh, hey Bucky.”

He looks at the bags under your eyes and feels instant regret wash over him, realizing that you weren’t avoiding him, but just getting some sleep.

“Sorry,” he looks down at his feet. You frown and place a hand on his cheek to lift his head up.

“Something wrong?” He avoids your gaze, partially because he’s embarrassed and partially because his cheeks were turning red because of your touch.

“No.” You cross your arms and let out a sigh.

“You’re a bad liar.” It’s his turn to sigh, as he scratches the back of his head.

“You didn’t come to the kitchen,” he lets out, in almost a whisper. It hits you. You were so tired, you had completely forgotten about your nightly tradition. “It’s stupid, sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up," he mumbles. Bucky begins to walk off but you grab his hand. When he turns to look at you, his brows are raised at your touch.

As you start to speak, you pull him close, facing you. “It’s not stupid.” His hands move to hold your waist as yours move to wrap around his neck. You pause, an idea popping into your head. “I’m kind of tired from training today, wanna just come sleep with me?” He nods and you drag him to your bed, nestling into his arms as he holds you to his chest, his chin resting above your head. You tilt your head back to see him looking down at you. There’s a fluttering feeling in your chest and you smile.

“Just for future reference, you have an open invitation to cuddle with me, anytime.” Bucky chuckles at your offer.

“I’ll keep that in mind, doll.”

Bucky cups your face in his hand and you nuzzle your cheek in his palm. His eyes dart down to your lips before returning to your eyes.

Then, the most delicate, sweetest kiss you’ve ever received is on your lips.

You flutter your eyes open as you both pull apart. He quickly kisses your nose before pulling you back into his chest, speaking softly.

“And you have an open invitation to kiss me, anytime.”

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neko-rogers · 3 years

Text

But It’s Better If You Do

Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.

words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship,

a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)

A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.

“It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.

You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.

Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.

But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is.

Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.

“Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.

In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike.

The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.

You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.

Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day.

To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.

And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.

“Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”

In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.

“It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”

“Oh okay, sure.”

“Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.

“I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.

As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.

“I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”

Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.

You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.

You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.

“What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”

Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.

“I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”

Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”

He does not argue with you any further.

“Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs.

At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.

“Okay.”

He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

“Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.

Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.

Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?

God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.

“Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”

As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”

“It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.

“Are you sure? I–”

And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.”

“Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.

One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.

“Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”

“Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”

There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same.

“It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”

“I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”

Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.

“Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.”

In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

“I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face.

“Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”

“I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”

It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you.

“Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”

You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”

“Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating

“And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”

“Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”

Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”

“I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.

“Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

“I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”

His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.

The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.

With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.

“Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.

Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.

It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.

You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.

You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.

Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.

He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.

The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.

“Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.”

As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.

Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.

As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.

When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.

At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.

The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.

You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.

This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.

Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow.

And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.

From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.

It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.

Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.

Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.

Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.

In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.

“Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”

“Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”

You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.

“Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.

Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.

You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.

“Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”

Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.

After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.

“Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.

“Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”

“Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.

You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.

“Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”

Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”

“Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”

Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.

“I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”

“Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.

“Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.

“Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”

“Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”

“Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”

“Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–

“It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”

“Uhm.” You were doubtful of him.

However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.

“Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”

“Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.

“I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.

Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.

“Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”

An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.

Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.

If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.

True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.

At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.

In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.

“Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”

“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.

As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.

For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?

Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.

You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.

“Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.

“No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”

He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”

Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.

He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.

“I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones.

You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.

“Was is it?”

“I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.

It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.

“Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.

Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?

“Peter, I–”

“Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.

What. The. Fuck.

“No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.

The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.

Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.

Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.

Lastly, you turned around and ran.

You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.

Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.

Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.

You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.

“Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”

You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void.

From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.

Hell please let this be a nightmare.

“What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”

Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.

Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”

“Uhh.”

That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.

When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.

As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”

Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.

On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.

“Fuck,” you grumble.

“That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”

“Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess.

“If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”

Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.

Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”

Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”

You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”

“Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–” “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”

Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.

“Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”

“We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.

No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.

“Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”

“I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.

You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.

Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.

“What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face.

“P-please let me go.”

“I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate.

Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.

“Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.

As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.

He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.

“I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.

Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”

“I can’t.”

“Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”

“I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”

You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.

“You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words.

“Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.

“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde

It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.

“Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper.

Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.

“I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”

“No–”

He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”

“You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”

Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.

Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.

You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”

His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.

“Sorry, babe.”

He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.

Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.

“Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.

Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.

Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.

You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.

“You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.

Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.

Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.

“Oh,” you moan.

He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.

“I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.

Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.

You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.

“You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.

The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.

But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.

As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.

He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.

There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.

The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.

“Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”

“You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”

Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.

Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.

“We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”

He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”

You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.

Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.

As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.

The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”

Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.

And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.

You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.

The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.

“I love you.”

a/n: ily pls leave comments <3

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anxious2dsimp · 3 years

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General Dating Headcanons | Sero, Todoroki & Bakugou

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Sero x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: Cursing bc Bakugou 🙄 (as if I wasn’t the one who picked him lmao)

Request: :))) hellooooo :D hmmmm may i get general dating headcanons for sero, todoroki, and [insert your favorite character]? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 @smexy-goose

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Hi again!! Omg yes, I’ll gladly write some hcs for the best bois! I had a hard time picking a fave, but since I have written for Kami and Kiri in the last request I decided to go with blasty boy❤️ (Also, I’m trying a new way to post requests, I hope it works!)

Sero Hanta

I feel like Sero is genuinely so fun to date, just like he said in that one dorm episode, he’s always the wild card.

He’s a goofball, so he adores making you laugh and smile as much as he can. I love him omg😭

Will definitely take advantage of his height (he’s among the taller ones in the class) and give you surprise hugs from behind and rest his head on yours.

He’ll also use his quirk on you for everything from pranks to just randomly pulling you to him to give you a quick peck or a hug :’)

He’s pretty standard with PDA, so he won’t go around making out with you in public but he will do little gestures like those <3

In private I feel like he’s definitely cuddly, he’s just so happy to be with you!

He loves having you over at his room to just chill or be in each other’s presence, even if you’re doing stuff individually.

Speaking of, the bakusquad definitely complains about you having privilege in using the hammock in Hanta’s room.

Denki will whine like; “why does y/n always get to use the hammock? You said it was out of bounds!”

“That’s on pretty privilege, sorry! And you’re just jealous you don’t have a cool s/o like mine,” Sero will say and poke his tongue out from the hammock where you’re swinging togehter :’)

I’m warning you now, if you had a healthy sleep schedule before going out with him, you can kiss it goodbye.

Sero will absolutely be up till like 3 am sending you memes and tiktoks that remind him of you.

And with him blowing up your phone you’ll most likely end up talking into ungodly hours of the night, the *sleep deprivation* only causing funnier conversations.

Those will end up becoming inside jokes that he’ll bring up to make you laugh while the rest of the class is like ???

That also results in some weird ass nicknames sorry not sorry

So he’ll sometimes call you regular stuff like babe and other times... he’ll call you things like “Bert” (FOR NO REASON??) or “Candied Blood Pumping Organ” instead of sweetheart lmao

Overall you two are just THE chaotic couple (and if you’re not generally that way he will bring out that side of you)

Pranking your classmates? Pranking each other? Random ass adventures? Trying weird food together? Dancing in the kitchen at midnight while sharing late night snacks? By going out with him you said yes to all of the above.

From sneaking out of the dorms for late night food runs to occasionally skipping class to go to the arcade or the beach, you usually can’t go a week without doing something fun togehter.

This one time you two were out with the Bakusquad and y’all stopped by a supermarket to get food.

So you had to ask Bakugou to buy you something bc you and Sero had to stay outside and just hand him the money.

He was like “tf?? why? Just buy your shit yourselves!” You had to explain you two were banned from the store because Hanta had accidentally crashed a cart he was driving you around in into a display of cereal boxes.

Ah yes, good times.

Todoroki Shoto

I feel like he’ll definitely need a small push when it comes to relationships bc of his past, but once you’re with him he’ll care deeply about you and will try to make you as happy as you make him :’)

I’m begging you, please give this boy some luv and affection!! For the most part you’d probably initiate PDA because he’s too nervous to do it himself

At the beginning he wouldn’t even be comfy cuddling, solely because he’d be afraid of hurting you somehow :(

But once you’ve reassured him he complies, and from then on out you just have to open your arms and he’ll instantly know it’s *cuddle time*

It’a one of his favorite pastimes bc he just feels so safe and loved <3 he also just loves the feeling of you playing with his hair

Luckily you get to do it year round since you cuddle his hot side in the winter and cold side during the summer

I feel like he’s secretly insecure, so the fact that you trust him and love him for who he is makes him feel like he could melt <3

Because of that you’re the only one he truly opens up to and shows his real feelings to, not to mention the only one who can touch his scar

And though he isn’t great with words, one look at him during one of these personal moments when its just you two, and you can just see it in his eyes.

Especially if you kiss his scar, his eyes might even get teary this sweet boy I 😭

That’s also probably why he shares his precious cold soba with you

Since you’ve been together, Shoto has just been so much happier, so his siblings and mother LOVE you.

They’re constantly inviting you over for dinner when Endevour is working (bc he’s a huge buzzkill to say the least), and his mom adores when you come with Shoto to visit her :)

Todoroki really enjoys seeing you get along with the people he cares the most about...

BUT what he hates is THE EMBARRASING STORIES HIS FAMILY TELLS YOU OMG (you live for them, but I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you)

“Fuyumi remember when Shoto-” “Natsuo, no💙“ your bf will say as he unconsciously squeezes your hand, both of the siblings laughing at Shoto’s glare.

You had to hold in your laughter so hard omg

Though he isn’t that talkative, you guys definitely have that kind of relationship where you two could be silent and still feel completely comfortable (oh I’m so jealous of that but nvm)

He’s definitely observant, so expect the most considerate gifts and the most assertive observations, he’ll always know what you need.

The type of observant that gives you a water bottle before you even notice you’re thristy during training, or switches sides while walking so you loop your arm with his on his warm side when you’re cold.

Also the type to gift you that one thing you really wanted but mentioned once like months ago along with your favorite snacks/drink (you best believe he has them all memorized bc he’s just that attentive)

Over all, just a really soothing relationship were you can be comfortable with each other and feel at home when you’re together.

Bakugou Katsuki

Ok so, I feel like you’d be a competitive couple, turning anything into a competition in an endearingly annoying way.

You’re definitely the type of couple to go to laser tag, an escape room, an arcade, etc, as dates >:) but the competitions don’t end there:

Who can plan the best date? Who can make the other blush first? Who can get the other the better gift? Who’s the better kisser? Who gets the higher score in class? Or wins at sparring?

Especially when it comes to productive stuff like training or academics, although he won’t admit it, he’s just pushing you to be your best because he knows how amazing you are :’)

All the bakusquad knows about your shenanigans and at this point they’ve learnt to stay out of it & go get the Advil just in case bless their souls lmao

I’m sorry but he definitely calls you nicknames that purposely piss you off (with no ill intentions ofc), like “gremlin”, “dumbass” or “booger”

I suggest you also call him stuff like that back, like “angry pom” or “blasty” to get on his nerves >:)

You guys also definitely friendly bicker all the time, knowing that you take it lightly (though strangers won’t, resulting in some hilariously awkward situations)

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he’ll say rolling his eyes as he messes up your hair.

Just watch his smirk dissapears when you reply, “no, u❤️″ It gets on his nerves, I just know it.

So he’ll chase you around as you call each other random stuff. While the other people at the convenience store are just like 👁👄👁

He never means it tho, keep in mind if you’re dating the self proclaimed future no. 1 hero he thinks highly of you :)

So he’d definitely be protective while simultaneously showing you off <3

Will always greet you with a kiss and keep his hand on your back or waist so ppl know you’re with him

RIP anyone who tries to hurt or flirt with you, I say try bc Bakugou will be exploding them even before they get the chance😅

Denki’s definitely almost gotten his brows blown off his face bc of that lol

Speaking of, the bakusquad still can’t get over the fact that THE lord explosion murder has a soft spot for you,

You mean you take care of his injuries, scold him when he burns himself out, touch his hair, and hug him when his moody... and you DON’T get cussed out and blown up? Shooketh

However they don’t see what happens behind closed doors, & how you’ve helped him with all the trauma he has experienced

You’re the only one who he is vulnerable with, you’ve seen him cry and he tells you about his nightmares and fears

You do the same with him, and you promise each other to get through anything together, which you’ve done so far :’)

Bc of that his parents love you, and his mom’s always going on about how she’s so glad you “stand” his son😂

Why can’t he be real ughhh

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troddenn-snoww · 2 years

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heyo, so, with my main project finally complete and my other works kinda on the back burner, i've decided to start taking writing requests!

i mostly write dsmp stuff, though that could change in the future because. hyperfixations go brrr i guess. if a fic gets long enough i'll probably end up crossposting it to ao3, but otherwise everything will remain on my blog under the tags #my fics and #writing requests. EDIT: everything's on my ao3 too now! whoops!

I WILL write:

- familial/platonic/romantic

- fluff! lots of it preferably!

- angst is probably my strong suit, and i'm up for writing like. major violence and character death, if that's what you really want

- AUs

- i mean i'm willing to do self insert or x reader stuff but i've never really dabbled in that area so no promises lol

I WON'T write:

- smut, probably. like i don't mind writing something a bit more on the spicy side but keep in mind i am. a minor lmao

just send in an ask or a message with the details and a vague word count i'll see what i can do! i'm totally up for just writing out a bunch of headcanons n stuff too :)

also here's my ao3 if you'd like to check out some of my work!

previous requests: x, x

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degenderates · 3 years

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ao3 thoughts & tips

just some things i’ve complied about ao3 that i wanted to share with people newer to ao3, whether you’re a reader or writer or both!

- post anything and everything! i guarantee there’s someone out there who wants to read what you write

- ^^that includes drabbles! one shots! short lil ficlets! you don’t need to write epics to write good fanfic. even 100 word drabbles are worth everything in the eyes of a reader. it’s all about execution!

- if you find yourself liking to read things you’re embarrassed to read (smut, darkfic, a certain kink, a certain ship, whatever it is), you can still give it kudos! simply log out and log back in once you’ve given the work a guest kudos. that way, you’re staying anonymous but still leaving your love! you can also do this for commenting!

- and on that note, COMMENT! a single substantial comment is worth 50 kudos, seriously. but even if you don’t want to (or can’t) write out a whole paragraph or even a cohesive thought, keysmashes are fine and LOVED!! same thing with “loved this!” or “keep up the great work!”

- however, please try not to comment “please update!!” without any context. this can stress out a writer and make us not want to continue. comments about what you love are much more helpful in getting us to update!

- bookmarks and collections are a SEVERLY underused function on ao3! writers, you can typically find collections for your fics based on a certain topic, and readers, you can make your own (whether open or closed to entries) to organize fics you love!

- bookmarks serve as both a bookmarking/save-for-later/organization-system function for the bookmarker and a way to people who love your fics to see what YOU like! as a bookmarker, you can tag your bookmarks with things like wordcount, ship, really whatever you want, so that you can find things later, whether to read or rec to people, and you won’t be stuck with that “oh, whats that fic i read a year ago that was sort of fake dating with stormpilot?” guess what! you can search your bookmarks! i bookmark EVERY fic i read, and obviously you don’t have to do that, but it helps me remember what i read, find things to re-read, and rec fics!

- you can even “review” a fic in the bookmark function, like goodreads or letterboxd. it’s different from a comment because while comments are meant for the author, bookmarks are meant for readers. so share! what did you like? why should other people read the fic?

- “but maven!” you say, “what if the fic is something i don’t want others to see on my bookmarks page? and what if said something negative about the fic in my bookmark and don’t want them to see it?” and i say to you, that is easily remedied! you can privately bookmark your fics, that way only YOU can see them. unfortunately or fortunately, depending on what your reason for privately bookmarking is, no one will be able to see the bookmark but you. the reason why you might privately bookmark a fic is for your own organization, reading later, etc., not to share with other people.

- read. the. fucking. tags. this goes without saying, but so many people (i’ve done this too, i think everyone has) go into a fic without thoroughly reading the tags and end up stumbling on something they didn’t want to see. in my case it was bestiality. so. you need to be careful, lmao.

- writers! PLEASE tag your kinks! if i don’t want to read about temperature play, i want to be able to filter that out. stumbling across a kink (or even background ship!) that squicks you out fucking sucks. so tag, tag tag! if you’re not going to, at least warn that there will be squicky or triggering things that aren’t tagged.

- tag background ships in the “additional tags” section. there’s nothing more infuriating than looking up “Luna Lovegood/Draco Malfoy” and seeing that come up in fics where it’s only briefly mentioned. just put “background druna” as an additional tag! (this is a random example)

- if you want to avoid that problem, you can search in the searchbar: “otp true: [person one/person two]” and receive results only for that pairing without any others!

- relationships: the “/” is for romantic pairings (hence the terms slash and femslash”) while the “&” is for platonic pairings (some fics will have both and that’s okay!). again, basic knowledge, but i’ve seen them get mixed up. PLEASE do this properly. for the life of me, y’all r gonna give me a heart attack when you tag platonic parent-child relationships with the slash option. and try to keep these in order, because it gets frustrating for rarepair romantic ships when you don’t know if something is romantic or platonic

- no not. i repeat, do not. link any ko-fi, paypal, any moneymaking service to ao3. it’s against the terms of service and it upends the idea that fanfic and fanworks are done without capitalizing on the creator’s work, which goes against ao3′s ideals. you could jeopardize things legally. just link to your tumblr and then to ko-fi from there. keep things separate!

- liberally use the “include” and “exclude” functions on the sidebar! they make things so much easier to find! there’s a lot of disturbing stuff on ao3 sometimes, so it’s up to you to control what you see!

- don’t pressure yourself to make your fanfic “perfect!” ao3′s an archive for all fanworks, not a gatekeeping best-of-the-best showcase. there’s gold on there, lots of gold on there, but don’t compare yourself to others. you’re awesome!

#ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 ettiquette #fanfic meta #mine #maven speaks #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #ao3commentoftheday #long post

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shuadotcom · 3 years

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content tag game

tagged by my lovelies @randombtsprincessa & @kkulfm💖

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)? HAHAHA well from the top of my head, i know i’ve written for fall out boy, panic! at the disco, my chemical romance, naruto, the maine, a rocket to the moon, pierce the veil, forever the sickest kids, teen wolf, big time rush, one direction, the wanted, big bang (😬), infinite, got7, exo and that’s all i remember lol.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for? bts. at this point they’re really the only group i actively keep up with. i’ve thought about writing for seventeen since i follow them almost as much as bts, but we’ll see if i can commit to something like that lol

3. how long have you been writing? since i was like 10 i believe....nearly 20 years??? *screams*

4. on which platforms do you post your stories? tumblr & ao3

5. what is your favourite genre to write? fluff for sure. i’m a big softie at heart and there’s just something about cute times.

6. are you a pantser or a planner? definitely both, leaning more towards a planner. i outline all of my fics because tbh if i were to just wing it, i don’t think i’d be able to commit to a fic. plus i am super organized in general, so i couldn’t imagine just writing and hoping for the best. i do deviate from my outlines naturally, but i still stick to them pretty closely.

7. one shot or multi-chapter? one-shot. imagining committing to anything longer is a bit much lol. it’s a challenge enough for me to do a two-shot! (shout out to stuck part 2 coming soon 😭)

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion? lmao i couldn’t tell you. i either write 2k to 10k+ with no rhyme or reason

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete? i only do one shots now really. my longest is the most recent jungkook fic i wrote called just like the movies. as far as like a full series, i used to write on a site called mibba back in the day before coming back to tumblr and i had a couple 10+ chaptered one direction fics. they’re no longer published but those were definitely the longest.

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most? for fics i’ve already posted, i’d say it’s a tie between stuck, just like the movies, and melt my heart. stuck is fun because it’s my first two shot in years and i’m excited to finish peach and yoongi’s mini story. i love their toxic, flawed selves. just like the movies and melt my heart were just really enjoyable and fun to write!

11. favourite request you’ve written and why? i don’t write requests (yet), but a lot of people asked for a sequel to letting you go and i was already debating on doing so, but then seeing so many people want one, i decided to start outlining it. aiming to have that out before the end of the year!

12. are there recurring themes in your stories? as a person that loves friends to lovers, that’s a running theme in some of my fics lol. i also have a fear that a lot of my mcs are too similar. i try really hard to make them different from one another but i’m scared they’re not 😭

13. current number of wips? too damn many lol. i’d say at least for the wips i’m actively writing, that’d be 5 🥴

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing? 1. most fics of mine will likely have a happy ending 2. i write cliché shit and i’m okay with that lol 3. i either feel like i describe too much or too little 😂

15. a quote you like from a published story. as i mentioned above, one of my favorite fics i’ve written is just like the movies and this is one of my favorite parts from it. It’s from the confession scene!

Your best friend steps forward, his hands moving to cradle your face. “Yesterday meant everything to me, and you have no clue how relieved I am right now that you felt the same.” The two of you share a chuckle, any lingering tension now gone.

“So basically, what you’re saying is we aren’t just a ‘fake dating’ au, but we’re also an ‘idiots to lovers’ au. Got it.”

16. a quote from an unpublished story. this is from watermelon sugar, which i’m trying to have posted sometime this week!

The closer he gets to you, the more his stomach flips at how good-looking you are. Your head is reclining on your tote bag, tablet in hand, earbuds in. Your sunglasses shield most of your face, but he knows all of you is equally beautiful.

When he’s finally in front of you, Jungkook waits until you notice the shadow that’s been cast over you. You pull your earbud out and put your tablet down, seeing him beaming down at you.

“Hey, I hope you’re wearing sunscreen. The sun’s pretty brutal today,” he shields his eyes and looks to the sky. “If you’re not, I’d be happy to help you out.” He meets what he believes are your eyes from the other side of your lenses, giving you the best charming smile he can muster.

You slip your sunglasses down your nose and off of your face, making Jungkook’s breath catch in his throat ever so quietly. He was right - every part of you is gorgeous and it frazzles him, just a little.

“Does that line really work?” You respond, eyebrows raised.

“I- what?” That’s not what he thought you’d say.

“I’m assuming it has since you said it with such confidence.”

Jungkook recovers as quickly as he can, clearing his throat. “I’m a confident guy, what can I say?”

“Well, keep that same confidence when you go hit on a different girl on the beach, okay? I’m sure it’ll work on one of them.” You put your sunglasses back on and move to pick your earbud back up, but Jungkook crouches down to keep talking to you. He doesn’t want to lose your attention just yet.

17. a space for you to say something to your readers. i’m bad at expressing myself in real life, so honestly just a big ol thank you to anyway that reads the jumbled stories that come out of my mess of a head!! 💖

tagging: @lilbeanin @hobeemin @kookdiaries, @ressjeon @kithtaehyung @suhdays @joheunsaram @hobiandsprite @oftenderweapons

#tag game

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nostalgicatsea · 3 years

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Fic Writer Interview Meme

Thank you for tagging me, Dora!

Name: sea/nostalgicatsea

Fandoms: Marvel. I’m into some other stuff as well, but I don’t know if I can say I’m in the fandom.

Two-shot:

I don’t have any unless you count a two-part series and companion fics as two-shots. I’m going to count them so I don’t leave this section blank:

All These Half-Tones of the Soul (G, MCU, 22,888 words)

In lieu of the “summary” for the series, which is just a book quote, here are the summaries for the two fics:

Multitude of One (G, MCU, 4,277 words)

Summary: "So was I," his soulmate would tell him one day, and what it would mean was that they loved him.

Leaving Promises Against Your Skin (G, MCU, 18,611 words)

Summary: “Someday, someone will choose you, Tony,” his mother had said, her hands back to cupping his. “And no one, not your father, not anyone, can ever take that from you.”

Notes: I wish I could change the name of the series because it doesn’t fit completely, but oh well! This series was grueling to write, but it was by far the most rewarding because I didn’t think I could do it. Even if there are things I wish I could fix (I think that way about almost every fic I write), I’m proud of what I accomplished. I wrote the story I wanted to write and did something I never thought I could. I felt like I was running a marathon and at the end, that level of euphoria was probably the closest I’ll get to a runner’s high. I want to feel that again.

IW companion fics:

The Great Silence of Loss (G, MCU, 1,075 words)

Summary: There was no reason to keep the phone, not when Tony didn't have his, not when Tony was gone and all keeping it would do was hurt him, but Steve held onto it anyway.

Signals Between Two Satellites (G, MCU, 2,290 words)

Summary: He hadn't allowed himself to dream of this, of Tony returning to him. Not when he had lost so much. Not when dreaming of the impossible would destroy him. But Tony was here, and for the first time since Thanos had wiped out half of the universe, Steve felt hope. Notes: After watching IW, I thought I’d have the same dry spell as I did after AoU. I didn’t think I had anything to write about, but it ended up being my most prolific era! I don’t know why or I do, but I don’t have the space to talk about it here and I’m not sure I can express myself accurately. There’s something about unspeakable loss sweeping you out to sea, making everything else before both insignificant and magnified. Every regret, every love. When you’re so lucky so as to hold onto or regain something you lost, there’s so much power in that love and hope even when you’re not sure things will ever be okay again.

I have two other fics that are companion pieces to each other but not officially so I’ll leave them off! In case you’re wondering, they’re “Thunder Hurried Slow” and “Leaving You Forward.”

Most popular:

Multitude of One (G, MCU, 4,277 words)

Summary: "So was I," his soulmate would tell him one day, and what it would mean was that they loved him.

Notes: The clear winner when it comes to hits, kudos, and comments, but when it comes to bookmarks, the sequel, LPAYS, surpasses MoO in numbers. I love soulmate fics, but I wasn’t sure what to write (other than that one soulmate fic that I’ve been trying to write since 2014 which hasn’t happened yet). I read some angsty CW soulmate fics, and then this idea struck me because I loved them, but I wanted to see something different.

I wanted to explore the idea of idealization and romanticization of a soul mark, especially when your assumptions of its meaning turn out to be completely incorrect, and the significance of soulmates. Is your soulmate important because you love them, or do you love them because they’re your soulmate? What happens if you can’t see who they are, even if they’re in front of you the whole time, and fail them because you’re so focused on the idea of them? I also wanted to try and see if I could bring the iconic 616 “It wasn’t worth it” line to the MCU in a way that made it organic to the universe here. Again, shoutout to the fics I read before this idea burst into my head, specifically “Zugzwang” by the great Woad.

Actual worst part of writing:

Most of the time, I know how the story begins and ends, but I don’t know how to get from A to C. Sometimes I have fragments in between, but I don’t know how to connect them! I get bogged down in plot holes or issues I don’t know how to fix and I get stuck for a long time.

How you choose your titles:

Everyone moans about coming up with titles—and understandably so, as it’s the worst when you can’t come up with one—but oddly enough, titles come really easily to me. They just...float to the surface of my mind. In some cases, they’re there before I start writing. Other times, when I start and I’m at the beginning of the story. It’s almost like I feel the story/feel the titles as though I’m searching for the story’s true name which sounds SO obnoxiously pretentious lolsdkfjdas, but that’s the only way I can explain it. It’s almost a sensory experience for me. They have to be right (there’s this moment where it feels right, whether it’s this quiet recognition or a “YES! That’s it” eureka moment) and there has to be a meaning behind them that explains what the story is about in some way. Otherwise, I get stuck. There are a few titles that I’m not particularly fond of because nothing really came to me, but I had to go with what I came up with due to time constraints. They still rub me the wrong way when I look at them.

Do you outline:

I usually know the start and end of a story before I write, and most of my stories are short enough so that means I don’t have to outline. Longer stories, though...I probably need to outline. That’s where I struggle and why I haven’t written anything really over 6k other than LPAYS (I was a mess writing it, but I can go into that separately if anyone’s interested). :’) I’d say that I half plot and half fly by the seat of my pants; I leave enough room on a bare-bones outline in my head to improvise.

Ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice:

MY ENTIRE LIST OF WIPS LMAO ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT HAVE TO BE LONG FICS. :’))))))))

Callouts @ me:

STOP TWISTING YOURSELF INTO KNOTS TRYING TO FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT. You only need to know the big stuff, but you always think you need to know how every tiny thing works before you start. Shut up and start writing! You spend most of your time saying you’ll write and then getting distracted by going online, saying you want to write, or complaining about how writing is hard. Just write something! Learn discipline! ALSO, YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH NATURE, EYES, SMILES, ETC. PLEASE LEARN TO USE OTHER METAPHORS AND PRACTICE HOW TO EXPRESS MOVEMENT, EMOTION, AND PRESENCE THROUGH OTHER WAYS TOO.

Wait, I’m not sure I’m supposed to be yelling at myself here. I can do fun callouts! @ self, you’re so weak for anything related to home and the concept of together....istg, that’s all you write about.

Best writing traits:

I’m good at atmosphere and rhythm although the latter has become less of a thing over the years as I started writing longer stuff. But still!

Tangential opinion:

This can be difficult to believe and it can take time (I certainly didn’t start out like this in my first fandom pre-Marvel), but honestly, write for yourself and your friends and/or write for yourself without expectations on how you’ll be received. I would say write for yourself first and foremost, but you’re in fandom because you want to be part of a community so I’m not going to say to write for yourself only unless you want to. When you find a close group of a few friends, you’ll realize that the most important thing is you guys having fun and everything else is a nice surprise—or if you’re more of a lurker, then it’s nice just seeing a few people respond to you especially if you start to see it’s the same few people the more you write. A lot of the times, they become the people you befriend too.

Tagging: @kiyaar, @ishipallthings, @citsiurtlanu, @welcomingdisaster, @no-gorms, and anyone else who wants to do this!

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rynnaaurelius · 3 years

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Just Pirated Loki’s First Episode: The Reactions of a Comics Nerd and No-Fun MCU Hater

-Fair warning, I am a Loki fan, but not in the way, um. Pretty much everyone else on this website is

-Bless Tom Hiddleston for being such a fucking delight as Loki but the MCU straight- and cis-washes its Loki so much that I really am exhausted.

-That being said, the shout-out to the Kid Loki comics, also known as the best Loki comics, with the “your role is this” stuff was. . .well. Watch that space.

-Interesting characterization in the MCU! Can’t wait for them to fuck it all up when it threatens to get too interesting!

-God I checked the tags for the show/characters and I remembered why I stay out of the MCU fandom.

-”They killed people!”/”They enslaved a whole town!”/”They tried to take over the world!”/”He told my favorite to shut up!” This is comics, Susan, everyone’s a terrible person on some level. Pick your emotional support war criminal and go. Also, get a sense of humor.

-Lotta people bitching about the time travel logic and TVA logic need to read more comics. Fair warning: this shit’s par for the course. Like, a lot. Marvel’s getting very comics-y with its treatment of the TVA, MCU!Carol Danvers, and the Eternals (re: The whole “They were secretly there the whole time!” thing).

-I’ve seen a lot of yelling over Loki’s characterization/the morality of the TVA and Mobius and IMO it was. . .fine?

-Like, yes, the script wasn’t amazing, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Honestly, it’s better than I was expecting, and the actors did their best.

-Loki seemed fairly in-line from what I remember from 2012.

-The MCU retcons itself about everything every three years, but it looks like they’re going with the theory of Loki having major autonomy during the events of The Avengers. Probably.

-My unpopular opinion on this is that while Thanos certainly did a number on Loki to push him over the edge, supplied him with the army, and gave him this particular plan--none of which is exactly small beans--some version of this was always coming from MCU!Loki, barring major intervention.

-After the first Thor, he was always going to make a play for Earth the second Thor and Odin decided humans were all right. Thanos just happened to set the timetable.

-I mean, he’s been villain material for most of his MCU run, and it’s frankly hilarious how Marvel keeps being forced to bring him back because they can’t do villains for shit and how you can tell when they have to with each shift of his arc trajectory.

-Like everyone else in this godforsaken cinematic universe, his lines suffer from being post-Joss Whedon’s directorial and writing contributions as well as Marvel Main Character-itis, which is not unique to this series.

-Mobius is surprisingly interesting compared with his comics-self.

-*Ducks and hides from the Loki fans*

-He’s clearly working towards something with Loki maybe beyond the whole stopping someone who’s clearly not just your common garden Tom Hiddleston!Loki thing

-What with the interesting mix of de-radicalization techniques and interrogation techniques that probably aren’t completely copacetic under the Geneva Convention, anyway.

-He’s not a Loki fanboy in the comics, but after having to sit through MCU!Wanda, I’m just bracing myself here for the changes. It’s not like Mobius is much of a character in the comics, anyway.

-Like, his morality is of the TVA, but his priorities in keeping Loki alive and un-reset go a bit beyond what his comics self would, probably.

-Anyway, Owen Wilson remains as charismatic as ever and is doing a great job as him, so I like him right now, but jury’s definitely still out on his trajectory.

-So, the TVA.

-Despite the whole fan theory mess with WandaVision, I’m not unconvinced the Time Keepers aren’t secretly the Time-Twisters or something. The organization is more or less like this in the comics, but the emphasis on “Sacred Timeline” is. . .hmph.

-They monitor the multiverse in the comics. They’re not trying to avert its creation, and the Time-Twisters destroy realities as their schtick.

-Also, the multi-verse is coming, so I’m assuming that there’s going to be a twist that acts as an impetus for Loki plus Mobius and friends to blow the organization wide open and cause the multiverse (Probably re-forming the organization and giving Mobius the same surprise promotion as the comics, along with an excuse to bring Gugu Mbatha-Raw back).

-*chanting intensifies* mutants mutants mutants

-They’re gonna fuck up Magneto so bad lmao

Ending Conclusions

-. . .The Big Bad of this phase is absolutely either Mephisto or Kang, right?

-I don’t see how they do Secret Invasion at this point as a feasible Big Bad without a lot of changes, Deviants were Thanos, basically, Doctor Doom can’t happen without the Fantastic Four, and anything directly tied to the mutants is out until they’re brought in.

-Think a decent dark horse candidate for the Phase 4 is also Scarlet Witch/Chthon since she’s confirmed to be reading the Darkhold--which is pretty much No. 1 on the list of Stupid Shit To Never Ever Do In Marvel Comics--upholding the fine comics tradition of Wanda being manipulated by someone evil into doing world-breaking shit.

-I can’t wait for them to straightwash Wiccan and for me to die inside, unrelated news

-It’s episode 1, so there’s a lotta ballgame left, but this is now the second show to bait the MCU Devil, which I honestly want to see if only so I can watch the world burn over it.

-Then again, they might simplify things and just make the being behind the Darkhold Mephisto instead of Chthon, which would. . .track with some things mentioned by the WandaVision showrunners about removing important scenes because stop listening to fans theorize online, dammit. It’s the Hamlet written by monkeys hypothesis played out.

-Ahem.

-Anyway. The music was nice, the actors did a great job, production value looked good, and while this episode was 95% info-dump, they made it pretty digestible.

-Also, the ‘70s-style matte painting used for one scene instead of CGI was a nice surprise and the animation was delightful.

Recommendations:

-If you’re a Loki fan convinced the MCU hasn’t done right by him since Dark World and think Taika Waititi destroyed his character, this show is probably not going to make you especially happy.

-*Checks Tumblr tags again*

-*Winces* I’m so sorry, guys.

-If you’re someone like me, who’s not the biggest MCU fan but still loves the characters and wants to see what ditch this drives into, I think the show is promising.

-If you’re an MCU casual, ditto, but without the ditch part.

-Overall: 8/10 blue-teethed French kids

#marvel #loki #loki series #loki spoilers???#mcu #me bitching about fandom #they should end well #yeah #loki spoilers #loki laufeyson #mobius #agent mobius #loki tv show #time variance authority #tva #marvel cinematic universe #i procrastinate by theorizing

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waka-chan-out · 3 years

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hello! i was just wondering how you started out your page, like any tips? I love your work so much 😤✋💕

well, first of all thank you very much! i’m surprised and flattered that you would ask me!

in all honesty, i don’t know how i got here. i feel like i blacked out at 300 followers and now i’m at 1.2k. but i can try to offer some tips! i know i looked at some tip posts when i was first starting and didn’t follow most of them, so i’ll let you know what’s been useful to me. obviously remember this is what worked for me and it may not apply to everybody. i acquired this audience completely by accident, so those that are actively working to build a page might give you different tips.

((keep in mind this all applies to fanfic blogs because that’s all i have experience in.))

things to do:

first of all, and this is pretty obvious: tag everything you think applies. it seems excessive in the moment but it’s the only reason anyone ever saw my stuff lmao. like for any specific character in my posts will have a whole slew of tags (and this is for my nsfw posts) like:

ushijima smut ushijima x reader ushiwaka smut ushiwaka x reader haikyuu smut haikyuu x reader hq smut hq x reader

going along with that, oh my god, come up with a tagging system. even if you don’t think you need to tag something, you probably do. so many headcanons of mine are lost to time simply because i never tagged them and now i have over 600 posts. i’m never finding that shit again. tag it.

make a masterlist. it helps you and your followers stay sane and organized. i made mine because someone requested it, so that was cool. but if you make one early it’ll make your life easier.

find one uniform way to structure your posts. i know everyone feels differently about this, but it really does make life so much easier. i’ve been doing my “post timeskip, obviously, content warnings, etc” thing since my very first post, and it just makes me feel more organized and consistent. everyone’s posts will look different, so just look at what your favorite blogs do and mush all that together. you’ll find what you like eventually.

be clear what kind of audience you want. this can change and evolve, but try to start off with some idea of what you want. don’t want minors on your page? write minors dni EVERYWHERE and keep up with blocking pages. a rules list helps with this, but of course people like to just not check those, so be firm when your rules are bent or broken.

post a variety of content. it’s so much easier to rack up notes on a headcanon or thirst post then it is anything else, especially the type of fics i write where it has a lot of banter and build up before anything else.

it pays off to have a gimmick! i acquired the most followers from my 300 follower event and that’s been so nice.

this isn’t necessarily a “blog” tip, but oh my god, learn how to structure writing. i cannot tell you how off putting it is to try to read fics when paragraph breaks are used awkwardly or there are two people speaking in one paragraph. you don’t have to be a perfect writer to write fanfiction, but please at least learn the rules of writing. if you need help, ask. google things. i’m an english major that wants to write and edit for a living and i still look shit up all the time.

write what you like. you’ll find an audience. you don’t have to cater to anyone else’s tastes or preferences. one of my first few posts was a request, and that was only after i had posted one or two things. people will find you, and it will be people that also like what you like. don’t make yourself uncomfortable just to cater to someone else’s preferences.

be patient. you won’t get followers overnight. some blogs grow quickly and others don’t. that’s just how it is. also don’t be too demanding with your followers. don’t get pouty when people don’t interact, don’t be demanding about requests. just realize that you’re a person and so are they. they aren’t obligated to read just like you aren’t obligated to write. relax and realize it’s just a blog. you’ll be fine.

edit: I ALMOST FORGOT !! be inclusive. holy shit. so many people will read your writing and though you shouldn’t write anything you’re uncomfortable with, it’s so easy to be inclusive. there are tips all over the place, but all you need to do is focus on the personality of the reader rather than their appearance. easy. i’m lucky enough to have a pretty diverse audience and it makes me so happy i could cry. i love knowing that people feel safe and included here.

what i haven’t found necessary:

making a tag list. i only made one recently, and even then i only have nine people on it. it’s not that necessary, unless you have a series that people want to see.

having a theme. seriously, don’t stress. even now i barely have a theme. it’s never been hard on me.

plugging your blog?? i don’t know if people actually do this but i saw a suggestion about it and it confused me to no end. i’ve never found that necessary, though it is nice having mutuals that reblog your stuff. still not totally necessary though. my only mutual was @tanzaniiite for the longest time and that’s literally just because i saw her follow me, saw that she was a writer, stalked her posts, and decided i wanted to follow her back. she was my 34th follower (yes i counted) and she’s still here. very much appreciated.

doing collabs. i didn’t even consider doing one until recently. they’re really not necessary.

self reblogs. another one that i think might help but isn’t necessary. i didn’t start doing these until i had acquired a larger audience. figure out what works for you, but i’ve unfollowed more than one blog just because of the sheer amount of self reblogs they do. i understand that they’re proud of their work and want it out there, but i just think there’s no way reblogging a new post every hour is necessary. obviously if you want to reblog your own content you can. but having a masterlist had made that unnecessary for me. one of my first posts had like 100 notes after it was first posted, and now it’s up to 600 when it hasn’t been on people’s pages in months. people will find your work if they want to find it.

obviously all of this is just my opinion and you should take it with a grain of salt. i started this blog randomly to post one tsukishima fic i had written for someone that i was told was good enough to post. i haven’t changed my writing structure or process since then, and i still have no god damn clue how tumblr works. it’s a lot less intimidating than it seems. i know it’s a different experience for everyone, but it’s an overwhelmingly loving community that is kind to new writers. i was lucky enough to grow fast and receive a lot of kindness, but that’s also because i put a crazy amount of effort into being kind back and posting consistently (and no one needs to be going at the pace i set towards the beginning of this blog. holy shit i was posting like every other day for a while.)

if you do decide to commit to trying to build an audience, let me know and i’d love to follow you! and if you’ll be writing (which i hope so because most of these tips are for fanfic blogs lmao) i’m always here to help with structure, beta reading, editing, etc. that’s literally what i want to do as a career so it’s never a burden on me. either way, good luck! it’s frustrating sometimes but if you have solid ideas and basic writing abilities you’ll be fine!

again, thank you so much and i’m so flattered you asked me 💞 i hope you have a lovely day darling.

#meg’s messages 📫#meg’s thoughts #⏰..meg

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writing-for-me-at-this-point · 4 years

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Hurt S/o! | Shikamaru + Kiba + Shino | ANGST + Fluff | HC’s

Request: This is my first request so please forgive and correct me if I do something wrong. I was wondering if you could maybe do an angsty headcanons for Shikimaru, Kiba, and Shino from Naruto’s reaction to their S/O getting seriously injured protecting them. If the S/O recovers or dies and the enemy is all up to you, I’ve just noticed a real lack in content for them and I’m craving it hard. Please and thank you!

Word Count: 1953 words

Page Count: 5.5 pages

A/N: i got so caught up in writing this it became way too long lmao. im sorry i forgot about naruto :( but i hope you do enjoy the rest! i made sure to end everything well. i have a shit ton of angst requests so i thought id leave this on a happier note :)

Tags: @bipolartryingtosurvive

Shikamaru Nara

- I could see this being during the Hidan fight.

- Hes set the plan in motion at that point.

- And you’re to make sure Hidan is distracted for the time being .

- Hidan may be an ass, but he isn’t dumb.

- He notices how you are keeping him from Shikamaru.

- Fucking LIVID

- You notice how hes shifting your fight closer to Shikamaru until he gets to the point where he definitely can get a deep slash into the Nara.

- You knew he was trying to get to him.

- You were fast, one of the fastest in the village, but that was because you were fairly weak when it came to strength.

- You tried to zip around, gaining speed and momentum, and within seconds- right when Hidan was going to bring his scythe down on Shikamarus neck, you slammed your body to his side.

- Shikamaru flew away as Hidan managed to get a large and deep slash into your body; you felt it start from under the right side of your ribs, curving across your stomach, and finally finished above your left knee.

- You didn’t feel it until you fell to the ground- shock really is a bitch.

- And then you felt the dull sting grow and blood dripped from the wound.

- The stinging grew into a pulsing and unbearable ache, and you knew for a fact he cut through each muscle in the way of his scythe, but your organs were nipped ( at best ) in the process.

- You couldn’t hear what was going on.

- You heard your heart beat in your ears, it was deafening, but you focused on your breathing and trying to keep calm.

- You trained for this- having a close friend beat your ass near death so you could focus on remaining in a state where you could prolong the inevitable.

- Yeah you thought of the most wild scenarios, and managed to prepare for them- turns out it worked out well.

- Once Hidan is buried Shikamaru went straight to you, managing to help out with Ino and Choji, stopping some of the bleeding while getting you to the village.

- You’re passed out at that point, so Ino cauterizes the wounds ends, the part under your ribs and the entire thigh.

- Shikamaru starts freaking at this point, he almost passes out, and Choji has to get his ass back together.

- Once you get back to the village Tsunade is ready to go, with Sakura by her side your ass isn’t ending up on that stone.

- It takes about four hours to get you all settled, and into a private room, out of critical.

- He’d stay by your bedside, your hand in his till you woke up.

- “Shika…?”

- “Oh my gods, [ Y/n ]!”

- “Hi”

- Your soft giggles helped ease this poor boys heart.

- “You look awful.”

- “Don’t look too hot yourself.”

- “Wow. Okay.”

- “Get up here, you need some sleep. And don’t even deny it.”

- He took off the bulky clothes, only in his pants and tank top, climbing in next to you as you settled your head on his chest.

- “Thank you for taking care of me,”

- “Thank you for not dying.”

Kiba Inuzuka

- Being in Anbu had its ups and downs.

- But mostly downs.

- Okay. Only downs.

- But you managed to find your light, in a childhood friend and now lover.

- Though- he managed to act more like a puppy than a boyfriend at times.

- You didn’t mind though, and you lived your life peacefully after having to leave Anbu due to an injury that limited your eyesight greatly and it hindered all sight starting at arms length.

- Though, when in Anbu, its always- ALWAYS expected to have an old rival or two come back for more, even when one is retired.

- And here you were, walking through the forest with Kiba and Akamaru, talking about his past mission with Hinata and Shino.

- He got so excited to tell you that he didn’t notice the shift in scents in the air, and you couldn’t see ahead or through your peripheral.

- It happened so fast.

- Too fast.

- One second you were smiling with his arms around your waist, his chin on your head as you both laughed with Akamaru yipping.

- The next you were slipping from his arms, and blood was pooled at his arms, the slash at your neck was gruesome.

- Your hands went to your neck as Kiba yelled, Akamaru going after the person who came from the shadows.

- “No. No. No. No. No. No. [ Y/n ], NO!” He was panicking, picking you up quickly as a hand wrapped around your throat, gripping it so tightly you almost couldn’t breathe.

- Almost.

- You learned to stay calm in situations like this, and with Kiba’s harsh grip you didn’t have to waste any energy to help with the bleeding, so you focused on breathing and not getting your heart to pump too fast.

- “Tsunade! Fuck- get a medical nin! Now!”

- He yelled, running into the village again, where many were coming to help you out.

- Akamaru had come back by then, his mouth bloodied as well, but nothing else- indicating he got a good bite on the fucker.

- You made it to the hospital before you lost consciousness, making Kiba worry even more, because THAT was never a good sign.

- He had to be the one to lay you down on the table and his grip never wavered, getting into a sterile room and waiting for some instruction.

- He was freaking out inside, he wanted to cry and let go, just hold you- but you would die if any of that were to happen.

- He had to stay calm for you.

- He wasn’t going to let you die.

- The tell him to let go quickly and all hands go to your neck, working quickly to stop the bleeding, while a nurse came to get Kiba cleaned up and situated.

- His mom even came to help the boy, who looked dead while staring at your room, not even wanting to go in.

- “Boy."

- Oh did she go off, telling him to go to his girlfriend and be a man.

- He did want to go, but he couldn’t help but feel so… helpless.

- "Helpless? Helpless! Boy, you do understand you just saved your girls life? That if you weren’t there she’d be laying there dead?”

- Kinda rocked his shit, but thanks mom.

- He went into your room alone first, your neck was bandaged and you looked pale, with blood and other IV fluids being attached to your arms.

- He noticed the especially dark bruise on your neck.

- It could have been either from his hand or the surgery, but he still felt bad.

- His mom came in and sat with him on the other side of you.

- They both held your hands and visited you till you woke up.

- “I lived bitch.”

Shino Aburame

- I honestly can’t see his S/o getting hurt so bad.

- Because when you think about it his bug control is OP AF.

- Like he can essentially control you with a bug.

- I would go with someone would be after him, but since they can’t get to Shino- you would be the best option.

- Get hurt him physically so lets do it mentally and emotionally :)

- Poor boy

- I could see this being when your both adults, and teaching the younger generations, including your kids :)

- And you’re chilling on your house rooftop, that you’ve decorated with couches and tables and such, even hanging lights around.

- You had Shino build a retractable sliding glass on top in case it rains.

- If you’re having trouble imagining this- think Fast and Furious ending where everyone is eating dinner together.

- Yeah that’s ya’ll with the rest of the group :)

- You’re relaxing, reading a book and curled into the couch and drinking some tea or coffee or hot cocoa ( THEY’RE ALL VALID )

- You had gotten up a second to go to the large chest you had near one of the tables, to pick out a fluffy blanket.

- You never noticed how someone had mixed a poison into your drink, because they were gone before you could even decide on a blanket.

- Your kids would have been home soon, and they knew you liked to hang out up here, especially Shino since he kept the bees up here.

- You settled down and read some more, before taking sips of your drink.

- You noticed it tasted weird, and you had gotten up to check it out you felt your head get light, and your throat was stinging- making you cough horribly.

- You honestly felt like death was coming for you, and you knew something was wrong, but by the time you had gotten to the door you fell down and struggled to breathe.

- “Hey mom, Aponi kicked me-”

- “Shut up! Adonis don’t be- Mom!”

- “Mom?!”

- Your kids started freaking out, with your little girl noticing how strange you looked and saw the cup that was broken at your side.

- “Addy! Get dad! Mom drank something!”

- “Alright! Stay there- I’ll be back!”

- They managed to get their dad and Uncle Kiba, with Aponi looking to the cup- having some of her bugs recognize what was in it.

- “Dad! Its Saifu Ants! Someone poisoned mom with Saifu ants!”

- Shino had gotten some for himself and used their toxins to create an antidote.

- You were currently at the hospital, and declining rapidly, stressing out everyone around you.

- Even Naruto came and the dude is Hokage and is busy as hell.

- “You should all be prepared for the worst.”

- Everyone’s hearts dropped, and Shino couldn’t be there- he was helping making the antidote.

- It took about 20 more minutes until Shino came rushing in with it.

- Everyone made their way to your room and god.

- You were so pale, you honestly looked dead. Your kids only knew you were alive due to the heart monitor and your weak chalkra signature, your breathing was supported by a machine and even then your lungs sounded horrible.

- God Shino worked as hard as he could so fast.

- He felt like his heart stopped, that everything was moving too fast for him and he was going to pass out.

- Thank god his eyes were covered cause he had tears in them the entire time.

- He felt his soul ripping apart, what would he do if you left him so soon? The kids?

- You had gotten the antidote in time- but not before the poison had it’s time with you.

- Your lungs were destroyed and your heart was weak, your muscle was torn down.

- But you made it back to them.

- Everyone held a sigh of relief.

- You were a little off at first- still sleepy and slurring.

- After a few month you were able to leave- with everyone visiting you in the meantime with what had been going on in the village.

- Once you made it home you collapsed on your bed with Shino, easing his heart just a bit.

- Your kids jumped in too, snuggling up to both of you, with Aponi on your chest and Adonis on your stomach.

- “You scared us. Please, don’t do that again.”

- “It’s okay. I told you. You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

- “Like I’d want to.”

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fencesandfrogs · 3 years

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cloudtail’s daughter: jayfeather

alright, strap in, it's time for jayfeather. i've been holding it in on him for what feels like forever now; he's ya boy's favorite character

also, aside from dove and ivy, he's the character with the highest volume of changes to canon. even above cloudtail and brightheart, because they continue their lives, it's not a big deal. and lion and cinder go to the tribe, but like, that's it. (i'm figuring out if jay goes with them over the course of this essay. i think i said he did in holly? but he literally hasn't been mentioned once in that arc because there's a lot going on.) anyway lion and cinder don't get up to anything. but jay's priorities shift and we see that in his books. i'm really excited to write him but i need to finish arc 1 lmao.

but first, same deal as always. this is part of my cloudtail's daughter au, where dovekit and ivykit are born to cloudtail and brightheart. i don't know how well this will read preemptively, but i suspect it will be rather dependent on the others. cloudtail's daughter: dovewing and/or the long post that explains it are both good places to start, see the cloudtail's daughter tag on my blog.

[2.5k words, 14 minute read, one of the last warriors essays on this blog. i'm going to finish out with my character essays and then everything will be on new sideblog. so check out @mallowstep for more.]

section one: the leafpool business

at the beginning of this series, leafpool and jayfeather are on bad terms. they will stay on bad terms for basically the entirity of the book series. while one of my main complaints with po3/oots is the lack of acknowledgement of adoption, jayfeather has been lied to by his mother and his mentor, something neither hollyleaf or lionblaze have to contend with, and then his sister kills herself over it. obviously she doesn't, but from his perspective. so he blames leafpool because he was really close to hollyleaf and now she's gone, and it's his first real loss, and there's so much going on.

and so he's a grouch and he's unhappy and he's just trying to function when his whole support system has been dismantled over the course of what, like, a quarter moon? yeah so dovekit and ivykit are like "wow what a grouch he sucks" the same way they don't realize prey is dying of thirst & etc.

for the most part he's j chilling and then hollyleaf comes back and man is it some family drama. unfortunately it's postponed til book 4 because hollyleaf and jayfeather have journeys but anyway i'm getting ahead of myself, because this section should end and unlike the hollyleaf essay i want to actually have decent organization.

section two: hollyleaf is away (but jayfeather doesn't get to play)

holly, cinder, and dove go to deal with beavers. we only get jayfeather through lionblaze in the books, but jayfeather is...conflicted. he got his sister back and lost her again and oh i should say. i think jayfeather and hollyleaf are the closer pair of the siblings. not that they don't love lionblaze the same, but you know how cats pair bond? like, it's usually a trauma thing, but even in feral cats, you see very close friendships. anyway yeah so for other au's i've been sorting siblings n denmates into pairs for this purpose (mostly jaywing au because there's a lot re. dovepaw and jaypaw and remember they are reincarnated siblings they've got a close bond going.) and it's kind of...i don't know my point is jayfeather misses his sister because she's like, his best friend too. or she was. and then she died and now she's back and she left again, and lionblaze is more concerned about cinderheart, so jayfeather just comes off as grouchy all the time. but really he's lonely and sad.

so yeah, jayfeather is kind of moping around camp and then the tree falls and whoops now briarpaw/light is parapalegic.

and uhh this goes more or less as in canon but we don't get pov which is fine bc u can sub in canon. but jayfeather? he's still a sad boy but now he's a sad boy with purpose and that makes all the difference

yeah he's close with her. they're sweet. it's sweet. he's pressured by brambleclaw to take an apprentice. he's bristly and angry and "you're not my real father" you know?

beaver crew gets back. jayfeather, who had missed holly, is back to being angry for...angst and plot purpose, really.

but you know, when you love & miss someone and they leave and they come back and somehow that's worse because now they can leave you again? and you can't tell them you want them to stay because you're angry and hurt but you want them to stay? god i'm excited to write these chapters i love emotional turmoil.

he's protective of briarlight, he's trying to keep dovepaw from being a medicine cat, hollyleaf is apologizing but he's not ready to hear it and lionblaze and hollyleaf are beginning to reconnect and it feels like betrayal. so when cinderheart and lionblaze go to the tribe, he tags along. everyone, uh, strongly encourages he go. he is the big grouch.

section three: time travelling times

okay so the timeline for these books is...messy. if you track the chronology of my writing, it's messy. which is to say, i was thinking i could put forgotten warrior and distant whispers over the same time span, but that actually doesn't work, as i review my notes for FW because a big part of it is ivy and holly's relationship. so. fake news. whoops. that sucks.

or maybe it doesn't? idk i don't usually tell linear stories. i like messing with emotional impact of events. so writing 600k of very linear story telling is very not easy for me. but i'm trying.

right so basically the official order of events until i change my mind again is as follows (names abbreviated as DIHLJC because they're all unique): DCH returns from beavers, DILCJ go to tribe with some other random warrior undecided, J + rando return, JH start awkwardness (beginning of TFW, middle of DW), DILC return (end of DW), time travel stuff (middle to end of TFW). hopefully that was intelligble, but it is admittedly 85% for my own benefit.

alright so we've covered during beavers, now jayfeather and hmmmm let's say, uhhhh, let's say they go with, literally any interesting background character, uh, bumblestripe! he doesn't do anything in this au bumblestripe goes with them. also since his name starts w b i can still write DIHLJCB and have things be unambigious. and it means there are fewer bs in thunderclan and trust me you don't know how frustrating the existence of like 6 b characters is.

alright so we really have 3 sets of two pairs of cats here. maybe i won't go w bumblestripe, bc he doesn't have an existing relationship w jayfeather. i dunno. i'm a big fan of jay & briar, whether as a ship or just besties, but that's just out, and hollyleaf can't come a) because i said so and b) honestly maybe she can? actually wait hold on that solves my problems. hot damn so 6/6 of the pov cats go to the tribe and this will be one of the only times all six characters are plot relevant at the same time. but i'm going george r r martin on it and seperating the books not by time but into DICL + JH because they're two completely separate character arcs that happen to take place at the same time. (don't worry i'm going to resolve the fallen leaves thing. in this essay ig bc i've already covered hollyleaf.)

okay so yeah hollyleaf is sent bc jayfeather isn't planning on staying w tribe for long time. just short time. and he's all "firestar why"

"well jayfeather," firestar says, "you don't talk to your family."

"i talk to dovewing," jayfeather says

"you're not related to her," firestar says

"there's a whole prophecy about how i'm related to her," jayfeather says

"you know about that?" firestar says

and that's how the cat gets out of the bag.

so anyway. jayfeather and hollyleaf are sent because...hold on, spinning the wheel of reasons for a character to go on a field trip...because...because...because...because...jayfeather had one of those dreams. i don't know. rock or something. now he's going.

they get there, and this is where the books get a lil time wonky, bc jayfeather and hollyleaf stay for like a moon, during which jayfeather goes back in time. i think.

i haven't worked out the details and probably won't until i do an updated au synopsis because it's hard to keep track and i'm more concerned about character through lines. like, jayfeather does this and he feels sad, and hollyleaf is sad about her ghost boyfriend, and they're travelling back together, and hollyleaf is his sister and she doesn't make him feel like he needs protection and lionblaze is bad at that, and they start to talk again.

and yeah, they bond. again. it's kind of, on top of their old bond? like they don't repair anything, they bond like strangers. but it's not nothing, and that matters.

so jayfeather gets back, and we're moving into book five, and i don't remember when the last time i made a section break was or what number we're on, so...sorry.

section ???: old man yells at cloud

alright it's finally jayfeather's moment. you know, he's one of my favorite characters, and he only gets a book and a half. "but mateo," i hear you saying, "doesn't every character get a book and a half? and more importantly, 6x1.5 is 9, so how does every character get a book and a half?" well, yes, every character does, but dovewing and ivypool are relevant in books 1-3 and 6, cinderheart in 1-3 and 5, lionblaze in 1-3, and hollyleaf in 2-5 (and has a critical role in 1 and 6, just no character development), while jayfeather is just really essential to books 4-5, and has a background role in 3. that means he's about equal to lionblaze. he's equal to lionblaze. as far as the numbers go, i cannot tell you. it's a mystery.

right so the reason for this is because (a) jayfeather doesn't do that much in oots. i love him, but he's not, like, super important, and (b) he's going to work better in these books if he's concentrated. because his big theme is his relationship with hollyleaf and the past. they're both kind of stuck in it but in different ways. and that prevents them from ever properly healing. so jay never has a full arc in this. i mean he has a full arc, it's just not a satisfying one. and that means he's sort of got to be put in the containment units.

so anyway, he gets his real big moments in the fifth book, when he's reuniting starclan. i think this is one of the riskier decisions on my part: we'll see whether or not i can deliver on him the way i plan to. but i think i can pull it off so that his arc is more meaningful condensed as such.

right. so. jayfeather is decided. he is going to fix starclan. because dead cats need to get thier shit together and he dgaf.

he spends a decent amount of time arguing with yellowfang and bluestar, because basically no important cats have died. at least we're in omen of the stars so it still makes sense? i have no idea why yellow/blue are still so important. please kill more important cats. it makes us feel things.

but feathertail is also probably going to be involved, i don't know. i haven't read these books (specifically, books 4 and 5 of oots) in forever so i don't really remember what happens. but he's kind of, super done with everything. i think he'll probably try to get the support of mothwing and kestrelflight (which is canon i believe?) and try to work as a team. i feel like there's weirdness w shadowclan too i should sort out.

so yeah, there's some medicine cat bonding, everything is OK, sol is happening? but cinderheart is dealing with that. jayfeather is naturally very upset about disconnects with sol but like he's also dealing with stuff i...i really need to reread outcast and sign of the moon. well, they're on my list after "all of these fucking riverclan novels like why they don't show up in the main series but i still have to read a bunch to be able to write them that's not fair."

alright, well, with that very vague description of what happens, moving on, the prophecy gets revealed to the clans at a whole in like...the ending eighth of this book. trying to maximise the amount of exposure to other clans without messing with the pacing.

so jayfeather and undecided warrior B (definitively not hollyleaf) go to windclan. jayfeather is...very unhappy about this. he does not want to leave. thunderclan is his home, and he's blind, and it's really hard to adapt to a new space and he thinks everyone is going to treeat him badly.

and well, if you've read my culture posts, windclan is....very pro-medicine cats and pro-prophecy cats. funerals. mourning. prayer. is probably the best place to start, but to get to the meat of it, start with general clan culture. to summarize, windclan: religious. but kind of like catholics, they don't believe in an individual connection with starclan. only leaders, and medicine cats, and very rarely members of prophecies have a connection. so. jayfeather. he's twice over. that's very cool to windclan.

so cats are kind of falling over themselves to help him, and like. i mean jayfeather is a grouch and he hates that he needs someone to help him through the territory, but at least they don't treat it like a chore, or like he's pitiable. this is a desirable task. apprentices want to know about his powers. and kestrelflight is a respected part of the clan, arguably more important than onestar, and jayfeather has never really gotten over being shoved in the healer hole as a child like it was lesser or easier to be a medicine cat, and so it's a big change.

and yeah. so i mean. an unobservant reader might say jayfeather has sufficient ego. he does not need stroking. they, of course, would be wrong.

jayfeather has a complex, but it's not an ego issue. he's...he's been denied everything he's wanted, and he's jaded, and weary, and he's never really believed that his clan views him as able and equal. in canon, at present, he's lost almost every cat he's every cared about. alderheart is his strongest remaining tie, and his fear at losing him, but willingness to let him leave, is very telling.

so yeah, jayfeather enjoys being accepted. anyone would. he doesn't really have confidence issues, but....argh. i know why this is good i swear it'll come out in the writing.

anyway, that's...that's pretty much it. jayfeather? done.

#warrior cats #warriors au #warriors #hollyleaf #jayfeather #q #mine #txt #13th #March #2021 #March 13th 2021 #cloudtail's daughter #essay #long

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