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shiny-jr · 2 years

Note

soft vil for the alphabet maybe? congratulations on (nearly) 3k followers btw!! that's huge!!!

Warning: Yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Vil Schoenheit.

Note: Thank you very much, anon! I knew someone would request him. I thought some people may request him at the same time, and multiple people did. But I didn't expect it to be literally the first one. I find it amusing how y'all scramble for the soft yan Vil content. Whenever I drop the slightest mention of soft yan Vil, I just imagine y'all like this. And I’m thinking to myself, you know what? Let’s just do one with the whole alphabet. I know some people follow me just because of how I write this guy. So here you go. Go crazy.

Letters: A - Z

➸ Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

➳ Vil once said he despises those who spoil others. Well... he's guilty of just that. Although he doesn't exactly refer to it as "spoiling" you. To him, he's simply rewarding you for being such a lovely darling (pretty much rewarding you for being yourself and giving him attention). It's safe to say that gift giving is his love language. Even if he appears cold and aloof, especially to others (never to you), he showers you with gifts galore. Examples: Oh? You liked that drink you tried? Well, it's healthy, so he'll order a dozen more to take home for you later. That plushie or other obscure item you were eyeing? It ends up in your room. Those shoes you wanted a few months ago but never told him until now? Consider them yours, and in multiple colors!

➳ Of course, he also displays physical affection, but it's largely behind closed doors. Honestly, sometimes you prefer being in public because you have some breathing room. You've spent so much time around Vil that you can tell when he's yearning for some love. When his grip tightens around your hand, when he's glancing at you more often, when his arm around your waist is guiding you towards a private room, these are all signs that he’s needy for some attention. And you know that as soon as those doors close, leaving only you and him, there’s no getting him off you. That’s when his elegant and refined composure crumbles as he becomes clingy and over affectionate, peppering kisses all over your face, leaning incredibly close so your bodies are practically against each other, and if you give him a smooch back or compliment/praise him? Good luck getting him off you for the next few hours.

➸ Blood. How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

➳ Not at all really, he has his own way of handling troublesome matters. But of course, never handling them within his darling’s sight. In fact, he will never get his hands dirty, because it simply isn’t necessary when he has other methods. But that isn’t to say he wouldn’t get messy if he absolutely had to. It’s just that his other ways are so much more effective.

➳ That director that made a snide remark about you? Vil is threatening the company in charge of the film to fire that insolent old man or else he will refuse to play any part in the film. That director quickly loses his credibility and this major job, since the company can’t risk losing the Vil Schoenheit. A jealous woman working in the makeup department keeps glaring at you and not-so-subtly trying to make a move on him? He’s demanding a new makeup artist, all the while making such venomous insults towards the woman so she was on the verge of tears. One of the security guards he hired for your safety is getting too close to comfort, hm? Where did he go, you ask? Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. He will not be bothering you ever again.

➸ Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

➳ I’d like to think that Vil wouldn’t really kidnap his darling. It’s more like he’s holding them against their will. Or is it against their will? When you stay at his family’s home, he keeps convincing you to stay for longer each time you even think of leaving. Oh no, he won’t mock you at all. In fact, if you even attempt to leave, he’s very upset. Paired with the reasons and excuses he gives each time you make an attempt, not to mention how loving he is and how much he spoils you, it’s hard to actual step through the doors.

➳ You want to go visit your silly friends in the Queendom of Roses? He’ll just invite them here so you won’t have to go. You’re thinking of returning to the Ramshackle dorm? Perish the thought. That old crow will run you ragged in exchange for you to stay in that old dorm. Just stay here, is that so much to ask for?

➸ Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

➳ That depends. Does changing your mind beforehand count? Vil is nothing but gentle and patient with you. He’ll ease you into things you might’ve not liked before (here) such as heels or makeup or other things. He’ll ease you more into healthy meals, exercising with him, etcetera. So it’s actually very difficult to find something he would do against your will, since he manages to ease you or convince you in nearly all things. However, if there’s something you’re adamantly against, then he won’t force you. After all, your happiness is extremely important to him.

➸ Exposed. How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

➳ Almost his entire heart is bared to you. Everyday when you’re alone with him, you see a side of Vil Schoenheit that the world has never seen before. Only you see this vulnerable side of him. Everyone sees Vil as someone that’s nearly the embodiment of perfection. He’s elegant, he’s intelligent, he’s beautiful. Yet he seems too perfect to even approach with his cold exterior, his regal mannerisms, and his strict code. He radiates confidence, he’s like the rarest diamond. But only you see him at his lows and his highs. When he’s crying and has mascara running down his face, when he’s initiating intimate moments with you, when he’s so happy that he’s squealing! Only you see these parts of him. But keep in mind, in the beginning I said he bares almost his entire heart to you. There’s a small part of himself that he tucks away, afraid that you will never consider him truly perfect enough for you.

➸ Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back?

➳ Absolutely heartbroken. I imagine that you finally realize what he’s doing, you finally see that he’s being manipulative in some ways, you notice that he’s hurting others just to keep you happy and comfortable, and that is genuinely unhealthy in many aspects. When you not only begin to avoid his affections but also confront him, he feels his heart stop. This was it. The moment he always feared. You thought he was inadequate. He had not yet achieved perfection. He wasn’t good enough for you, he never was–– Did you think he was ugly? Do you find his actions disgusting? Why are you looking at him like that?! All his confidence shatters as he feels empty. If you didn’t want him, if he wasn’t good enough for you, then what now? He can’t be without you, he refuses to––! Ah... then he’ll just have to work harder so you won’t reject him again. He’ll polish himself to a brilliant shine, he’ll improve himself, all for you.

➸ Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

➳ It isn’t a game to him. These are important matters to him! He doesn’t enjoy seeing you try to leave at all! Each time you mention leaving, he immediately begins to worry as he gives you a reason to stay. Each time you even consider leaving, he’s immediately questioning where we went wrong. Was it something he said? Something he did? He carefully reflects on everything he did the last few days that could’ve potentially prompted you to consider leaving, and he immediately corrects himself. All your attempts to leave are blocked by him as he gives you reasons and excuses as to why you should stay.

➸ Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

➳ Maybe you might find his clinginess and affection annoying and suffocating at some point. But perhaps the worst experience is not even something that happened directly to you. If you linger or hide, you might be able to eavesdrop on Vil as he snaps–– with a matter related to you. Most likely more jealous fans, or rude employers or assistants, something happened and they insulted you.

➳ You hid in a closet of a room where the only other person in the vicinity was Vil. You didn’t mean to hide, you just happened to be in the closet when he came in and slammed the door harshly behind him. He was pacing, struggling to keep his breath even as he dials a number on his phone. You don’t know who exactly he’s talking to on the phone, but it has to be a higher up. It’s scary because you’ve never seen this side of Vil so extreme. He was angry, practically yelling at the person on the other end of the line. He was seething the most vile insults about the one who offended you, he wanted them ruined, and he would not stop until they regret what they did to you. It could even be an offhand remark that didn’t mean much but that made you uncomfortable, it doesn’t matter. They still offended you. It was frightening to see the sweet and loving Vil you knew was actually doing things like this behind your back, and it was unnerving to see how enraged he got because of a simple offense.

➸ Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

➳ At least once he would love to act in a movie with you. A romantic lovely movie. He doesn’t care about the ratings, or the other cast, all he cares about is making this film with you. Dancing in the rain, creating those cheesy romantic scenes, sharing a kiss or two, things like that. Perhaps later on he would like to be a father, but at the same time he also wouldn’t mind if it were only him and you. All he wants is for you to spare him attention and affection. Is he not number one on your list?

➳ Oh, but if you became a director, or makeup artist, or anything along those lines, he’ll request you work with him at every job. Wherever he goes, he wants to go with you beside him. Being a top power couple in Twisted Wonderland’s version of Hollywood doesn’t sound so bad, does it~?

➸ Jealousy. Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

➳ Yes, Vil gets very jealous but he manages to keep it under wraps all the time. At least until you’re alone, then his need for affection is much worse. However, your affection is how he reassures himself that you chose him. It’s how he copes. The worst you’ve seen him is when the actor and model Neige happened to be at the same photoshoot one day. As Neige kindly introduced himself to you, eager to meet his dear friend Vil’s significant other, you noticed the said blonde behind the young man. His eye twitched in annoyance, his sharp painted nails dug into the cloth of his sides as he resisted the temptation to practically strangle the angelic young man, but he doesn’t lash out. Surprisingly. Although later on when alone with you, Vil does need a lot more reassurance that you still prefer him over Neige.

➸ Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling?

➳ Sweet and loving. Most of the time he’d appear so normal, that it would be very difficult to ever imagine that his sanity practically depended on your approval/opinion of him. We’ve already talked about how he’s like in private, but let’s talk about in public now. In the public eye, he does keep up appearance. Remaining composed, regal, etcetera, just like normal. Except it’s normal to see him standing very close to you, right beside you, with an arm around your waist or your arm interlocked with his. And his smiles are a lot more common. As long as you’re around and you’re treated well, he’ll be in a good mood. Which is why his manager begs you to come with him every time he’s taking a job. You don’t know how much trouble you save her from.

➸ Love letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

➳ As mentioned once before, Vil actually greatly wishes that he was the one confessed to. Not the other way around. Putting more effort into his makeup, spraying on perfume you liked, wearing additional accessories he knows are to your liking. He makes little changes in his appearance just to appeal to you more. Now at first he isn’t overly kind, he wouldn’t wish to creep you out. But he isn’t as cold as he normally can be. Meeting him is always a delight. This good impression is how he lures you closer. I’ve sort of gone over already how it might go if he were forced to do the confessing (and eventually get rejected) here. However, for the sake of more content, let’s consider the situation if you were to actually confess to him (because you didn’t know he was so obsessed with you). Yes, he gracefully accepts your confession with a sweet smile and warm blush on his cheeks. Then, he gifts you a gentle kiss on your forehead. But in private when he’s finally alone after the confession? Oh boy. He’s so overjoyed that he’s squealing/shrieking(?) and throwing himself backwards onto his bed as he clutches the flowers you gave him to his heart.

➸ Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

➳ Yes. There are some things that he does or says that he isn’t completely content with. And additionally, let’s remember that he does become quite easy to anger whenever his sweet darling isn’t there to put him in a good mood. Why do you think his manager always pleads with you to come? Not to mention, the way he treats those that disrespect you, especially when you’re not looking, is downright vile. Vil does not want you to see this ugly side of him, so he does hide it.

➸ Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

➳ Him? Punish you? No, never! Vil wouldn’t dare!

➸ Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

➳ None really. As stated before, Vil greatly prioritizes your happiness. Taking away your rights and freedoms would only lead to disaster, he knows that. Besides, he wishes for you to come to love him more and more by your own devices. Not by punishments that include stripping you of your rights. The most he’ll do, again as mentioned before, is restrict your freedom by persuasion just because he wants you to live in the same space as him. But then again, he isn’t forcing it upon you.

➸ Patience. How patient are they with their darling?

➳ If you’re already dating him, he’s very patient and gentle with you. However, for more of content’s sake, let’s just say you aren’t dating yet and no one has confessed yet. As the days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, he becomes more and more impatient. Why haven’t you confessed yet? Are you hesitating for some reason? Is something wrong? Can’t you see he even wore his best lipstick today because he thought you were finally confessing?! As more and more time goes by, he seriously contemplates being the one to confess to you. Or perhaps... did you not like him in that manner at all? Despite his efforts to appeal to you more, was he not what you were looking for? The longer he goes without receiving a confession from you, the more anxious and insecure he becomes.

➸ Quit. If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

➳ It’s very unlikely you would die or escape in this situation, the most likely option seems to just leave. If you do leave, and by leave I mean not only move out of his house but also break-up with him, he’s having a complete meltdown. Yet despite all the tears and sobs, he doesn’t dare contact you yet. Your sudden choice to sever your relationship has made one thing clear: he was lacking. In Vil’s mind, the break-up was because he was lacking. The only solution seems to continue to improve himself. There is always room for improvement to get closer and closer to perfection. Although it’s much harder for him to focus on self-improvement when you’re stuck in his mind in every waking and sleeping hour. While your leave has left him in shambles, he still is determined to be better. So that soon, he can proudly approach you, he can reach out and plead ask for another chance.

➸ Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

➳ Of course not! After all, he didn’t abduct you. You came here by your own will, and you stayed with a bit of persuasion on his end. There’s no need to go. He takes such good care of you too. If you’re so set on contributing, you can work for him and earn your own keep.

➸ Stigma. What brought about this side of them?

➳ Honestly, it really depends on the au. So I cannot give a definite answer to this question.

➸ Tears. How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

➳ It breaks his heart to see his dearest in this state. Yes, he knows he was not the cause, but still, he cannot help but feel as if he did something wrong. Immediately he’s dropping everything. Everything is canceled! His schedule is cleared and he’s tossing aside the items in his hands as he takes the spot beside you, comforting you and speaking to you softly, as if afraid of scaring you. Once you’ve calmed down to a degree and with your permission, he’ll hold you close in his arms. His hand is slowly moving along your head, patting it gently as he quietly hums to you. He’ll ask if you want to speak about it (heavens have mercy if some poor soul caused you to be like this). If you tell him, he’ll listen attentively without interrupting you before promising to deal with the matter personally. If you don’t want to talk about, he’ll wait and simply continue to be a comforting presence as he dabs away your tears.

➸ Unique. Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

➳ Well, Vil is a lot softer of a yandere (the note literally has “soft yan Vil” so what did you expect?). While most yanderes would be willing to harm their darling to a degree or force them to do something against their will, Vil would never. This might be why he would be much more successful than most yanderes in securing a “happy ending” that can resemble a normal relationship with his dearest.

➸ Vice. What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

➳ There isn’t really any need for “escape.” However, in general, you can exploit two things. First off is your happiness. As we’ve established, Vil prioritizes your happiness. If you’re truly miserable about something and there’s no easing you into it, then that’s exploitable. He will always prioritize your joy above his own. Always. Secondly, another thing you can exploit is your opinion on him. If you simply voice your disapproval of something he does or says, that’s an easy weakness of his to exploit. After all, if you say something is wrong about him, then it must be true and all that’s left is to fix it.

➸ Wit’s end. Would they ever hurt their darling?

➳ No! Although he may grow frustrated or angry, he will never direct those negative feelings towards you. Instead, he will deflect them towards himself or others. You will never be on the opposing end of his wrath.

➸ Xoanon. How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

➳ Oh, a lot. Your opinion of him is absolute, it is as you say. The real question is, what wouldn’t he do to win you over? He’s willing to slowly change his habits and place on a bit of an act just for your affections. Although he would greatly prefer if you loved him as he was, but that doesn’t mean he won’t change himself for you. Beauty comes in many forms. If you view beauty a certain way by looks, or mannerisms, or speech, then he wants to emulate that form of beauty.

➸ Yearn. How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

➳ Again, he doesn’t snap. Maybe by snap here it means his patience dwindles to zero and he finally has enough of waiting so he just confesses his love to you. The most he’ll wait is about three to four months, that’s how long he’s attempted to make you fall for him.

➸ Zenith. Would they ever break their darling?

➳ Can one be mentally broken by this beautiful blonde man who only wishes to spoil you and smother you in affection? This is the same man who places your happiness first. Is it really possible when he’s fretting over you constantly and always worried for your physical health, emotional health, and mental health?

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #yandere writing #yandere prompts #twisted wonderland #twst #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #vil schoenheit #twst vil #yandere vil schoenheit #soft yan vil

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builtbybrokenbells · 10 months

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ive stuck to posting mostly fic content on this blog, and i will remain doing so from here on out. but in light of a certain post made, I came here to air out some feelings, I suppose. not in attempt to draw the light away from anybody, but more like a reflection in response.

from the minute i discovered gvf it was almost like a breath of fresh air. in the time listening to them, as an aspiring musician, artist, writer, or whatever the fuck I am, I’ve found great solace and inspiration in the four boys we love so much. today, i found a piece of home within them, too, but more specifically, from Josh.

i grew up and, unfortunately, still reside in a little, homophobic town that is nothing if not dedicated to normalcy. it has been a devastating twenty years of life knowing that my existence is abnormal to others, including some family and friends, and they would prefer if i remain quiet about it. ive lost friends, family, acquaintances, you name it, just because i was born the way i am. just the other day, there were news reporters in front of my apartment building seeking opinions on a lgbtq+ bill for youth passed by the government. that’s right, opinion, on the human rights of very real children that walk on the same streets they were spewing their hate on.

I’ve always been quite comfortable with who am sexuality-wise. from a very young age, to now, it has never been a debate or shameful idea to me. I’ve been very loud and proud, and will remain so. my gender, not so much. less than a month ago, i finally voiced my proper pronouns to the first person ever, after years of struggle with it. i still haven’t told family, or properly ‘came out’ (because, if you know me, you would know that i think the whole idea of coming out is quite ridiculous) and i have no plans on doing so in any intimate manner. but, today, a bit of courage bled into me from one of the people I look up to most, and i told a bit more of the world about myself.

to say i am beyond proud of josh for his transparency is not enough. what he did, although some would disagree, was one of the most courageous things a person in any type of spotlight could do. i surround myself with only a few people, and i have yet to find the power within myself to tell the closest to me, who i am. what i am more moved by, is that he used his platform to not only make himself known, but vocally and actively join an ongoing battle that many believe is already over. he was already such a beacon of light and love, that i did not believe he could be any more so. today, i happily admit that the idea was wholly untrue. not because of his sexuality or anything like that; he’s still the same Josh he has always been. but because his own moral was so strong that he, without fear, showed an intimate part of himself to the entire world, and guided others on how to help the cause in the process. it is admirable to be proud of who you are, but even more so to educate and inspire others while doing it.

being so vulnerable, especially in the public eye, is terrifying. being a beacon of light and love in a world full of hate and darkness is also terrifying. he did both today with grace and strength, and as someone who’s been actively fighting this fight for my entire lifetime, i am beyond words. i said a lot of things here, but nothing can truly amount to how i feel. i cannot articulate the feelings accurately, and in place of that, i ramble.

basically, if you stuck through this, thanks. if you use this angels sexuality against him in any way, i will find you. if this changed the way you view him, you didn’t deserve him in the first place. together, these four boys have created a community of love and all things that come with it; if you are not willing to give it back to them, or right now, him specifically, this is not the place for you. remember, as proud/happy/whatever you’re feeling about this, he’s still a person. the same one who you knew months ago, who worked to create the community and music we love and appreciate. that did not change, and there is no need to view him any differently. im certain that if he’s been so private about this for so long, he does not want the world to see him only as such.

so, from the bottom of my heart, the message of my rambling is to say im proud of him, and that im incredibly grateful for the chance to live in the same time as him. I’m even more thankful that his courage has given me some, too. be respectful of him and his privacy, because he is deserving of such (and much more). and, if you also find a piece of his courage within you, im proud of you, too.

as always, be kind, thanks for reading, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes ;) 🫶🏻

#tori rambles #gvf #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #josh gvf #not a fic #lgbt #personal #jmk #pride month #builtbybrokenbells

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jeonstellate · 2 years

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timestamp: parallel

it’s 8:10 pm when you beg minghao to love you.

๑彡 xu minghao x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 arranged marriage!au — little angst(?)

๑彡 paragraph format — 0.6K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

Xu Minghao is the most ideal husband one can possibly have. He is a man mothers and grandmothers try to introduce their children and grandchildren to. He is a man people know of, even if they cannot be bothered to know about the industry he belongs in.

Polite. Witty. Charming.

Those are the words, along with their variations, that never leave the murmurs of people who had to pleasure to interact with him. No one ever contradicts them, nor has any experiences that prove otherwise.

In short, Xu Minghao is someone everybody adores. And you, just like everybody else, are no exception.

You belong in the same crowd as Minghao. You had similar upbringings, which later on transitioned into similar life paths. However, despite growing up and existing alongside him, you two rarely meet.

You and Minghao are akin to parallel lines. Except your "parallel" also means "coinciding."

Especially since Xu Minghao, the son-in-law every mother wishes to have and the husband every woman and woman-alike dream of, is legally bonded to you.

You are living the dream of thousands, if not millions, of people as Minghao’s spouse. Yet, although you realized it, that dream is never yours. Not even once.

Xu Minghao is a mere obligation to you, as you are to him. Your marriage is a mere favor from your respective parents; an unfortunate manifestation of an old familial pact. (Albeit neither of you have supported the idea from the beginning, neither of you contested the proposal, either, hence the commencement.)

You have never desired Minghao in a way a lover should, much less how a spouse should. You admire him, yes, but that feeling is twinned with nonchalance rather than anything romantic.

To you, Xu Minghao is exactly how people see him as — and so much more.

Perhaps that is why you find it easy to learn how to love him, despite his ice cold demeanor towards you.

You do not hold anything against him, even if his affections for you are strictly for show. You chose to learn how to love him all on your own, as an attempt to make your life easier. Likewise, you do not expect him to follow your lead on how to handle your shared situation — especially if there must be a hundred different ways to go on about it.

But you cannot blame yourself if you also learned how to despise the method he did choose, either.

"Please love me."

You never meant to dictate how he should feel, but his chosen expression of his feelings hurt you more than you would like to admit. (After all, as much as his feelings are valid, yours are, too.)

You have given him two years to come in terms with your marriage. Within those two years, you tried everything to develop any type of relationship with him. But, alas, every attempt you made is ignored — leaving you to a last resort.

"I can’t."

His response is left unadorned — without an apology nor any other comforting gestures. It is left as it is, cold and true. And as much as it hurt to hear, you do not prefer his rejection to be any other way.

Because now you know he has no plans to try at all.

In the morning of your third anniversary, you leave him divorce papers and your wedding ring.

Thank you, your note says, for being honest with me until the end.

You and Xu Minghao really are like parallel lines. Always appearing next to each other, as if coinciding, but never actually do. (After all, besides the shallow reflection of love being mistaken for the real thing, neither of you really cared for one another.)

#xu minghao x reader #the8 x reader #seventeen x reader #xu minghao imagines #the8 imagines #seventeen imagines #xu minghao scenarios #the8 scenarios #seventeen scenarios #xu minghao oneshots #the8 oneshots #seventeen oneshots #arranged marriage!au #xu minghao #the8 #seventeen

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thatfangirlofsb · 1 year

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A/N: This is my first time doing a y/n or reader (I think that's how it's called) pov, so sorry for the mistakes. Although I have never made one, I decided to start because I had an idea for a fanfic, but no grishaverse character worked to be the main character. So here comes my first y/n o reader writing.

I haven't put a specific gender to y/n, but I may have missed it at some point.

T/W: Grishaverse spoilers.

It will be set when Sturmhond reveals who he is.

Reign in the seas

"Lately I look more beautiful than ever and that's why you all want to put your hands on me?" He touched his cheek, where your fist had impacted with great strength; probably more than necessary. "Nice hook, where did you learn it?"

You wanted to give him another, but the opposite cheek was already swelling from the blow he received from the sun summoner. He would need to speak to tell you everything you wanted to know about his lie, and with a very swollen face he couldn't. So, in a good act, you decided to stop. When he'll be better you would hit him again, although you hoped you wouldn't be able to because you would be a long walk away from there living a good life.

"You fucking idiot! You fucking idiot prince! If I had known…"

"Wouldn't you have boarded my ship? And lost an asset as important as you? No thanks." He interrupted, now looking at you with a different face but maintaining that typical sideways smile.

He was right, if you had known you wouldn"t have gotten on that boat. Now you regretted so many things after knowing the truth, the first was having met him. You wouldn't have cared if that night the royal soldiers had seized you for a trial with a certain sentence of death, rather lifeless than on a Lantsov's ship.

"I had my right to know. I've taken your ship everywhere you and your family needed it." Fury was building in your voice, but your fists were still itching to show your anger at him in some other way rather than with words.

"Correction: to all the parts that the money has needed." He was right, you already knew how strange it was that he didn't follow the highest bidder. Although he hadn't done it with the sun summoner, it seemed like he was changing into something different. Why? You didn't want to have time to worry about it.

"Sturmhond... or your highness, what should I call you now?" You asked him with a clear sarcasm staining your tone of voice, however it seemed that he hadn't noticed or was simply ignoring it. "Honey or darling it's fine. The situation isn't that different either, I'm still the same guy that…"

Oh no. You didn't think you'd hear that come out of his mouth. You prefer to be thrown into the cold waters of Fjerda with a banner around your neck written in block letters 'I am grisha, squaller. Pleased to meet you'.

You turned to avoid his gaze and covered your ears as you began to hum the first thing that came to your mind.

Sure he could have done it better, but you didn't have the musical training of a prince. You couldn't recite poems or sing classical songs, but you knew how to hit hard; and he had verified it on his own skin. A lullaby, one of the few memories you had left of your family, took over your murmurs while you tried not to listen to him.

You would have kept doing it until your body fell to the ground from not eating and drinking, but the stupid boy behind you now had your hands removed from your ears and brushed them with something cold in the process.

Then he grabbed you by the shoulders, without letting go that object, and turned you on your own two feets. When you saw it, you wanted to die right there, you didn't think that after so many years everything was going to come to light.

"That...?"

"Darling, the acting is overkill now." He twirled the crown around his wrist with a small smile. At what moment of the landing he had you managed to find your belongings among the rubble? However that wasn't exactly yours, but as if it was. "I love listening to stories, but I know this one yet, since I'm such a good person, I'll let you tell it again."

"I don't have to tell anything." Better lifeless than open your mouth. When they murdered you, you'll only going to laugh; they had taken a long time to hunt you down, it seemed that a simple thief had managed to evade the highly prepared royal guard.

"Okay, that's okay. But is also okay to call the guards and…"

"Do it, I'm not afraid Sturmhond." Your voice sounded cold and calculated, during those years you had prepared yourself for the moment in which they discovered you. You knew it was going to be sooner or later, but you didn't expect it to be before you turned twenty. "Come on, call them and have them come for me. I'd rather die than see your lying face again."

"You've always liked this face to be the first thing you saw in the m..." You cut him off by slightly raising your hand, indicating with this movement that you didn't want to hear any more. He had kept quiet, but that smile he put on after the silence only indicated that the next thing he said was going to be worse. "What's wrong honey? Did you hit your head during the landing and you don't remember who I am anymore? Well, I remember very well that you told me last night that you were going to leave the ship after bringing the sun summoner to Ravka. I didn't know that the crown was going to be one of your incentives."

Memories of the night before walked over you.

[FB]

You were in his cabin, facing the table on which rested a map of Ravka. Your eyes carefully ran through it, beginning to calculate around what time you would arrive at your destination. You couldn't help but smile when he pointed with one finger at the coast where you were going to land, while his other hand began to caress your back over your blouse, releasing some of the tension you had accumulated at that time.

The last few nights you had hardly been able to fall asleep. Your mind wouldn't stop thinking about the decision you had made. You knew it would take you away from him, but you also knew that this kind of life was not for you. You would rather walk away than harm him.

"I'm going to settle in Ravka." His hand remained still on your back, letting you feel the heat of it over the fine fabric. "With the reward they'll give us for the sun summoner, maybe I'll open a shop."

You knew that this money would come from Ravka's crown, and even if your pride didn't allow it at first, you would make the decision later. What better than to see how the coffers of those damn kings are emptied while you start swimming in gold?

"Then I'll go with you." There were those butterflies in your stomach again, why were they still alive when you were already a couple?

"Sturmhond, you have completely lost your mind."

"For you? Since the first time I saw you." He said leaving a short kiss on your cheek, starting the caresses again but now only with his thumb. "Os Alta is a good trading place. It has..."

He began to talk about the city and its network of merchants, although you could only think of what he had answered you. At first you doubted, how was he going to leave his life as a privateer that he loved so much just for you? He was born for it, but you weren't and you knew that at any moment you would have to get away from the ship and from him.

You smiled, knowing they were empty promises. But it seemed that he understood your looks, because in a quick movement he squeezed you against his chest in a hug that you needed.

"Do you think I'm going to let you walk away from me so easily?" It was what he said before your lips met and there were no more words.

[FB]

"Call your fucking guards, now." Surprise crossed his face, not many people had dared to order him around like Sturmhond or Nikolai.

"I don't take orders from anyone."

"Oh yeah?" A playful smile appeared on your face, you were going to really enjoy your last moments of freedom attacking his pride. "Well, it wouldn't look like it Sturmhond, I still remember how you begged me..."

"Deadlock, let's stop for a few minutes." He said looking around, paying particular attention to the fabrics in the store where you were while his hand lightly ruffled his now blonde hair.

"If you don't want to play...don't cast the first card." You said with as much nonchalance as you could muster. Didn't he like that they used their tricks on him? Well, you were going to spend your last hours of life doing it.

"I still have a reserved card." His hand searched in his pocket until he took out a crumpled piece of paper that he handed to you. "If I call the guards, they'll have to look for him as the culprit as well."

You smoothed the sheet until the drawing became as clear as possible. It couldn't be, how had he managed to find out? You didn't have time to try to figure it out, now you had to fix everything.

"He's just a little boy."

"A child who was involved in stealing this." He lifted the crown that was still resting in his hand. "The law also considers him a thief."

"It wasn't his fault, it was all mine." Your tears were about to flow from your eyes. He had shown himself to you as someone fair, but his true actions were those of a prince. Those of the prince in front of you, talking about how they were going to execute your little brother as well, as if he was talking about the weather. "Take me and leave him alone. And please, use all the money I have saved so that he can live a good life. He wants to go to Ketterdam University, let him fulfill that dream."

"Is that a confession?"

The temptation to hit him again came to you. You were begging him for your brother's life and he was only concerned about a damn confession? How had he been able to change so much in such a short time? Was he the same guy who showed you his love with little things? Or the one who always swore you would be safe with him after telling him a lie when he asked about your story?

"It's whatever you want if you swear to protect it." Your voice was weak, although you tried to hide it with your challenging look fixed in his hazel eyes, very different from the green of the privateer. His promises were now worthless to you, but your only option was to trust. "And take care of him the same way I have. And never tell him that I have died."

"I see you very much alive now." He gently placed the queen's crown on your head, parting a few strands of your hair until they were behind your ears. Feeling the cold weight of the gold, your head began to fill with memories.

[FB]

Your parents, tired of only being able to offer you and your little brother an itinerant life and afraid that you will all be arrested after some of their thefts, decided to make one last big hit. You had traveled several kilometers to Os Alta, and you stayed in a seedy boardinghouse attached to the city walls.

The next day there was a big party at the palace, you didn't know why but you were sure that your parents would take advantage of it to make the big hit. You and your brother always helped them; but this time they expressly forbade you to go before them, leaving disguised among the crowd of people.

From their farewell and the way they looked at you before leaving, you came to the conclusion that it would be difficult to see them return alive. You weren't going to let them face that alone, ever.

So when a few minutes had passed, you left the room with your brother by the hand and followed the line that your parents had gotten into moments before.

You came to a big lavishly decorated palace, where people were crowding around waiting for the door to be opened. Your parents would have walked in, but you could only see people in overly fancy finery pass through the door. It would be impossible to do the same with the rags you wore.

But an idea crossed your mind. You saw a girl your age away from the crowd, because of the white clothes she was wearing she looked like a servant, so you approached her, leaving your brother near the entrance to watch if your parents came and, with a quick movement of your hands, you forced the air out of her lungs until she passed out. Checking that no one had seen you, you dragged her body behind some bushes. Taking one last look, you changed your clothes and left her there, apologizing in a whisper even though she couldn't hear you before stepping out and doing gestures to your brother.

"Why can't I have clothes like yours?"

"Misha..." His name left your lips with some sadness. You didn't know what you could find there, but you didn't want to scare him with that idea, so you chose to tell him a lie. "Mom and Dad asked us for help. So we're going to go in there and you're going to stick very close to me without talking, okay?"

He confirmed with his head while pressing his lips tightly, he was already putting part of the plan into practice. You pushed your way through the tumult and were let in almost without looking at your face. You knew that the servants were nothing to all those powerful people gathered there, so you took advantage of that to blend in among the people dressed just like you.

You never let go Misha's hand, and for several minutes you followed the actions of the other servants. But there came a moment in which some shouts broke through the noise of the simple talks that the nobles had. Soon, some guards released a man and a woman with their arms chained in front of the king; clearly distinguishable by sitting on his throne and wearing a crown bigger than his head.

"Moi tsar." The guard bowed slightly before continuing. "A heatrender and an otkazat'sya, they entered the throne room."

The man to the woman's right seemed to understand the doubtful face of the king, so he added more information to his partner's story.

"They broke in to steal. The heartrender killed the two guards guarding the door."

With a wave of the king's hand, the previous guard approached him and listened very carefully to what he was saying while all the guests watched the scene carefully.

Doubts about what was going to happen were soon resolved. With another wave of his hand the tsar dismissed the guard, who went to whisper to his companion and, each standing behind the two chained people, drew their swords from their scabbards and made two deep cuts on the prisoners' necks.

Gasps of surprise came from the cluster of guests who had come closer to view the scene, but were soon drawn away as they saw the guards part as the limp bodies fell backwards under their own weight.

No.

"Mom! Dad!"

Your little brother had also managed to recognize them, although he seemed unaware of all the glances that were directed towards you two.

"Grab them too." The king indicated calmly, as if he were not sending a sixteen-year-old and a child of only six to possible death, sitting back on his throne and taking care again of his drink.

You had little time to react, and in that small space you took your brother in your arms and ran down a corridor as fast as you could. You opened one of the many doors and entered the room, closing it behind you.

As you looked around trying to find a place to hide, you discovered that the room wasn't empty. A slightly scrawny boy was looking at the two of you with doubt and surprise. He was in front of a table full of tools, looking from the sketches to you without stopping. You stayed for a few seconds looking at each other, but as soon as he heard the footsteps outside, he seemed to understand everything.

He ran to your side and grabbed your arm, leading you towards a corner where several boxes were stacked. He tucked you between them and placing a finger on her lips he returned to the table.

Soon the door opened, and you managed to hear the remains of a conversation in which the boy denied having seen anyone and managed to get all those men who were chasing you out of there.

When he verified that there was no one else, he approached the boxes and took you out of them. He forcefully pulled you towards what seemed to be a simple wall, but when he touched an engraving on it, it opened.

A very dark hallway was ahead of you. You turned your head in fear towards that blond boy, but he had already walked away and had his back to you while he was looking for something. When you looked at the boxes that had you and your little brother hidden recently, you managed to see your father's bag. It was made of scraps of cloth, and it was the only place where he kept his few belongings. But something that gave off a special shine stood out, and on impulse you went to pick it up and left it inside the tunnel so that it couldn't be seen.

When the boy turned around, you and your brother were in the same place. When he reached your height, he placed a bag in your hand that had several coins guessing from the sound and pushed you into the tunnel before closing the only exit, looking at you one last time.

That was going to be the strangest robbery you had ever done in your life.

[FB]

"I'll tell you everything."

When he heard you say that, he walked to the chair in front of a desk and sat down, crossing one of his legs while he poured some brandy into a glass.

"I'm ready, darling."

His voice made you feel the same way you did before all that situation. For a moment you forgot what had happened, and you could only think about him and how he looked at you. If you could go back you would enjoy all your moments together much more without worrying about who you are, only your mind would occupy the perfect place to hide and not have to endure the recital of Tolya's poems about love and Tamar's looks and comments about you two.

But they were just that, memories.

"My father was a durast and my mother a heartrender. They always hid it so they would never be taken to the Little Palace, and they succeeded. But where they lived everyone knew who they were and were feared for it, so when my mother was pregnant with me they decided to escape from there." The words came out of your mouth without difficulty, as if you had lived it yourself and were not just a listener who loved to talk to her parents about her life before you. "They were always afraid that their powers would be discovered, so they never settled anywhere and lived mainly hidden in the forests. And that's where I was born, and then my little brother."

"How old is your brother?" You were grateful that he cut you off to ask that question, if you kept talking tirelessly you were going to collapse and you wouldn't be able to hold back your tears anymore.

"Now he will be nine. We are ten years apart." You took a breath before staring at him and picking up your story where you left it. "We lived on petty theft, we never had much stuff. But one day, when I was sixteen and my brother was six, they took us on a too long journey to Os Alta. One night they went to what they told us would be the last robbery, and I followed them together with Misha..."

"Misha?"

"My brother."

"Sure, please continue." His tone of voice had become more serious, and for a few seconds you missed that privateer with his characteristically humorous tone. But you couldn't go back to him anymore.

"I entered hidden as a servant. Everything was going well until two guards appeared with our parents and cut their throats in front of all the guests and your dear father, the king."

"About the latter I can show doubts."

You ignored his comment and continued talking, not giving much thought to what he had said.

"My brother saw it and called them. Then the king ordered us to be arrested. We managed to escape and went into a room." You grabbed the chair across from the other side of the desk and carefully sat down. Remembering everything was going to be more painful than you thought. "A boy of my age was there, and he helped us escape. And while he was looking for something, I found my father's duffel bag in the corner. I took it without knowing what was inside, I swear. Then he gave us a bag of money and he left us alone in his secret tunnel."

"My secret tunnel." He said emphasizing the first word, offering you a glass of brandy he had prepared.

"Your secret tunnel... Your secret tunnel!" You almost spat out the liquid that was already dripping down your throat. For all the saints, it can't be. That couldn't be happening, it was... "Impossible."

"Improbable." His lopsided smile reappeared, and your heart skipped a beat. Could he stop being so charismatic in such serious moments? "Right now my curiosity was eating me for know what had happened to that pretty girl who stole my heart."

"We didn't even speak to each other."

"Oh, the magic of love."

If you hadn't found yourself in that situation, your laughter would already be filling the air between the fabrics that made up the small room, although his curious look also made you contain yourself.

"Did you already know who I was when I went to your ship?"

"Let's not get ahead of the facts." Ugh, how you hated when he acted like that; even though you liked it too at the same time. "Please continue."

"We escaped to the coast by walking, trying to spend as little money as possible. One night, when my brother was sleeping, I decided to open my father's sack and I found the crown."

"Ravka's queen's crown, right?" Nikolai couldn't help but fix his gaze on your head, where that same jewel you were talking about still rested.

"I only needed to guess its value to know what my parents wanted to do with it. Gregori, my father, was a durast so he could separate the materials so it didn't look like a crown and sell them. When I was little they told me the dream they had; they wanted to open a repair shop that was also an apothecary. I put the dots together very quickly."

"Is that why your dream of settling down?" His voice sounded pained, as if a part of his body was being taken away by saying those words.

"Yes. But it's not only to fulfill their dream, but also to achieve mine." You rested the palms of your hands on your knees, they were sweaty due to the nervousness that had invaded you a while ago. "I know that I'm just a squaller, and that at least my mother was a heartrender, but I also want to open an apothecary like her."

"As a mere prince second in line but a very famous pirate at sea... I tell you it's possible."

"Privateer." You couldn't help anymore but laugh. His confusion with his title had broken through that little wall you'd built to not show any emotion. Damn Nikolai.

"I love it when you quote me." He smiled, reaching out his hand and taking yours in it, giving small caresses with his thumb as he had done the night before on your back. "But at least I managed to make you laugh."

"If Mal discovers that with me you allow yourself to be called a pirate..."

"I'm sure he'll understand, and if he doesn't I'll keep calling him 'the sun summoner's guest'." He released your hand and rested his gaze again on the crown. "Please continue."

"Sometimes we would stay in one place for a while taking advantage of the harvest season to earn some money. And we stayed like that for several months until we reached the coast, and luckily I heard your search for crew. What better than a grisha squaller to make the wind blow when the captain wants?"

"And you came to me..."

"Let's not get ahead of the story, Sturmhond." He laughed when he heard how you said the same thing as him and he looked at you with curiosity; wanted to know more. "When I was sure what I wanted... I had to do something horrible that I regret. I wasn't going to lead my brother into a life as a privateer with so many dangers, so I left him in an orphanage where I spent all the coins to him be accepted. I left there while he was asleep and then I met you."

"Oh, for all the saints." He quickly got up from his seat and ran to hug you tight. He didn't like to see how you were about to break after telling everything.

"I still have a lot of anger against you Sturmhond."

"But surely you can forgive me with a kiss."

"Forget it Sturmhond, I won't even touch you with a stick." You raised your hands to your head and grabbed the crown to return it to him; but he placed his hands on top of yours and left there. "What are you doing?"

"I've already made you rule the seas, so you deserve a crown. And in Ravka I can share with you the duchy of Udova, then you'll have to conform with just one of those."

From his bright eyes and that look, you knew he wasn't kidding, and however you weren't sure what to say, you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind.

"With those nice words you're going to get me to touch you with a stick."

"I would thank you all my life."

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #grisha #leigh bardugo #nikolai lantsov #nikolai x y/n #nikolai x reader #nikolai duology #rule of wolves #king of scars #x y/n #x reader

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mega-ringsandthings-world · 2 years

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Idk if you’ve talked about this before, so I’m sorry if you have, but do you have any sexuality headcanons for any Hunger Games characters? I have . . . a lot.

My biggest one is that I definitely think Katniss is ace and not straight. I personally think she’s an ace lesbian, though that’s entirely projection on my end. A lot of the scenes in the first book especially read as someone who doesn’t like men, or who’s aro. Like. I know these are all Katniss not liking Peeta right away, but the way she explains not knowing what she’s doing with the romance and not feeling anything when she kisses him? It read as someone who doesn’t like men. The way she explains not being able to provide the love that leads to a family? I know that was just her not wanting to have kids due to the Games, but the way it was described really read as someone who hadn’t quite come to terms with their sexuality. Anyway sorry for this rant on Katniss but ace lesbian Katniss is a hill I will die on.

As for other characters. I like to think a lot of the Victors were queer in some way. Johanna? A lesbian. Finnick and Annie? Both bi. Enobaria and Cashmere? They’re girlfriends, actually. I feel like it adds some level of nuance but that depends on how accepting you think Panem is (I think it’s definitely not great but that’s a conversation for a different day).

I have a lot more headcanons for other characters (the Careers, Madge) but I’d love to hear yours! Especially for Gale, since I have no idea for him.

Glad you asked! I'll start by saying that I don't think of a lot of the THG characters as straight, with a few exceptions. I’m on the roof about Peeta, but I feel Mrs. Everdeen is bi, perhaps her and Madge’s mother had a thing when they were younger. Tigris is definitely a lesbian. I do see Katniss as either ace/demisexual, and then as either bisexual/pansexual. She does feel physical desire, and she's not immune to noting when someone is beautiful/attractive (she constantly remarks on the handsomeness/beauty of Gale/Finnick/Cashmere/so on) but rarely if ever feels that physical pull, unless she is very emotionally close to the person. Which def screams ace/demi and bi/pan. It does fit with the way she approaches relationships and such in general. So it makes me uncomfortable to see her over-sexualization by the fandom. She prefers camaraderie/classifying affection as an emotional bond and expressing of affection through actions, and seems unsure/uncomfortable labeling her relationships, even those that would seem romantic from another perspective.I see it as her not so much having a sexuality crisis, as her just being ace, and preferring to just take her sweet time about picking and choosing what to do that’s normal in a relationship. She just doesn’t like labels. Or pressure. Given time and no unfortunate interruptions, I hold that she would have eventually entered into a relationship with Gale of her own accord. Although it's not my personal headcanon that Katniss is a lesbian, I do see her in potential relationships with women. Such as her and Johanna, and in a special AU of mine, her and Cashmere. But I do agree that a lot of the characters are queer, (yes to Finnick being bi) and canonically Panem is "accepting" in terms of sexuality, in the books, the gender of Finnick's Capitol lovers are never confirmed, and in Tbosas, there's two instances of same-sex couples. In a place as “exotic” as the Capitol, acceptance would be more more mainstream, as convoluted as that is. Funnily enough, the Districts might be less accepting, as each district holds it’s own customs and prejudices, and the people of the districts are not as “carefree” and “pleasure-seeking” as the Capitol, to put it mildly. Gale is bi. He had a thing with either Thom or Bristle once, and he is a very reserved person relationship-wise, prefers to hold back until he’s sure of his feelings. I don’t buy the bullshit of him being a player in District 12, that was a mess to add in, but I think he’s not above using his physical beauty to his advantage. He wouldn’t label himself either, to him it is what it is.

#thg #the hunger games #thg meta #katniss everdeen #thg fandom #catching fire #mockingjay #tbosas

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mysteriawrites · 10 months

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hi, can i be matched with harry potter and attack on titan please? my name's lilith i'm 18, my pronouns are she/they and i'm a queerplatonic aroace, so i don't have a gender preference. i'm a stubborn, kinda bossy, brutally honest, sarcastic, clingy and person. people say i'm mature, smart and creative and yes, i agree, but i think i become a total different person when i get too comfortable. i love music and i've been singing with a vocal coach for three years by now. i like spending time at my music academy in which all the members are my second family as i grew up with my blood-related relatives fighting each others for some kind of stuff i don't know about (thank god things recently changed a little bit). i lost my grandmothers in law, my cousin abandoned me for protection as she had brain cancer and died eight months later and my dad due skin cancer. i also recently got a trauma for moving in a new house, i was actually excited at the beginning, but really it's driving me crazy. i'm 5'11", chubby, pale skin, button nose, i wear a fake septum piercing sometimes (i'm allergic to real ones :/), black slowly turning back to brown hair with undercut and bangs, dark hazelnut brown eyes and i wear black glasses. i also wear a tattoo choker and a necklace with a note shaped charm (gift from a dear friend) and i never take it off since then. i was actually scared to wear necklaces to sleep, fearing i would suffocate or accidentally hang myself, but with her necklace, i have no fear to sleep in it, actually when i have anxiety or panic attacks, i hold it so tight to remind myself she's with me, always. my aesthetic is hipster or grunge. i think that's enough. bye!!

Hello Hello thank you for the request. Oh sweet summer baby child I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope this matchup can bring you a bit of happiness (P.s. I only can do one fandom per request so if you could send in a second ask with the same info but for Harry Potter that would be great) (P.s.s. wasn't 100% clear on if you wanted this platonic or not but I wrote it platonic anyway so if you wanted it romantic lemme know and I’ll change it) Alright drumroll please!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

LEVI ACKERMEN!!!

Oh boy you two have been through a lot. From the loss of family to being forced to grow up from a young age in order to survive. Because of that shared trauma it makes it easier for you to get close to someone as prickly as Levi cause he sees a bit of himself in you.

You two have been friends since you both joined the scouts, slowly growing closer after many a life or death situation and being able to have each other’s back in battle. You’re both remarkably strong soldiers (what doesn’t kill you make you stronger as they say) and have been able to make you way to the top as captain and second command of the Levi squad.

Ever since then you’ve come to have your own little found family among the scouts (Hange being the crazy drunk aunt and Erwin being the dad). Although Levi is a still his unapologetically blunt self (to put it nicely) you know he loves everyone just as much as you do. The 4 of you have one of the best dynamics among the squads.

That’s why when you and Levi are the sole survivors of the Levi squad your world is completely shattered. No matter how hard you tried to protect everyone or how close you tried to keep them to you it seems like everyone in your life is destined to leave, but not Levi.

Levi is with you through thick and thin. From the fall of Wall Maria to the discovery of titan shifters to the learning of titans in the wall to learning your allies were traitors to being fugitives to finding that you’ve been killing humans to finally making it to the sea to Erwin and Hange’s deaths (i haven’t seen season 4 sorry) you two stick together through it all.

When things get dark you and Levi will sit and silence and drink your tea reminiscing on the memories of your fallen comrades. Sometimes Levi needs someone to pick him up despite trying to be strong and emotionless all the time and you have to remind him it’s ok to feel.

Despite being pretty hard on others yourself and others, you try to convince to be a little softer on the cadets. After having been through all they have you want them to enjoy being kids forever long they have. You two are the parents of the scouts especially after Ewin passes.

You two always look out for each other in battle while not letting your own feeling get in the way or the mission…at least until the war is over

You two are each other’s safe heaven. You look out for yourselves and each other in your own ways, and don’t plan to go dying on the other. After both losing someone you don’t want to make the other go through that pain again.

Sorry this is short I'm now realizing I need to do more research on aot characters. Oh well lesson learned hope you enjoy anyway.

#multi fandom blog #multifandom #multifandom account #multifandom writer #multi fandoms posts #multifandom fanfiction #matchups #multifandom imagines #multifandom x reader #attack on titan #levi ackerman #Levi x reader

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shinra-makonoid · 1 year

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Making points doesn't mean "teRfS sHowIng IgnOranCe." Your attitude toward ANY question or criticism of queer discourse shows YOUR lack of critical thinking skill and cultic behavior. Actually this is why people are leaving queer community online/offline. One critical opinon and they get called "terf" and treated like a criminal. Your attitude is not healthy at all. You care more about policing & controlling others than about actual oppression or violence.

Bro you just don't understand biology and have moot points about society and use it to hate on people who are already vulnerable. I call you terf. Do you prefer me to call you guys victims of a hateful ideology fueled by conservatism? People stuck in the dark ages? Scum of the Earth? Stupid cows? Let me know I'm fully open to change the way I call you guys, no problem with me, TERF is just faster.

Radical feminism in general have much more in common with cults rather than "queer ideology", like the dimension of self help ("you can "fix" your gender identity if you believe it hard enough/if you do these steps), sacred bodies, recruiting vulnerable/confused people and manipulating them, rejection of medicine/technology, separation from family/friends for who do not believe the same way, internal belief that anyone who isn't in the group is an enemy to convert or destroy, etc. I don't have the same "ideology" as most of my LGBT friends, in fact we would probably disagree on a lot of things and I'm probably one of the less woke I know in my surrounding. I get blocked by "queer ideologues" constantly for not believing the same thing as they do. That's definitely far from cultist behavior.

Finally, in regards to my supposedly lack of critical thinking, I don't think you did even half of the thinking process that I did. You can look in the timeline of my Tumblr, my views changed with time and is pretty nuanced today. I looked at the large majority of arguments displayed by everyone that I could find. I've went on Twitter talking With GCs, I've debated many times with TERFs here, I've listened to many celebrities arguments, I've even talked to people who did researches on AGPs like Blanchard and Cantor, I've looked through scientific researches not done by them also. Not only did it made me lose any faith in feminism as an ideology (which also allowed me to talk to MRAs and see their views with an open mind), but it also showed me how much shit people make up and how much political environment can influence your beliefs surrounding your body and the "Truth" everyone seems to proclaim to have. I think i asked myself and other more questions about that subject than you ever did in your whole life, or your view wouldn't be "buhu you're the cultist! We can't spread misinformation, sophistic arguments and hate you freely without being called a mean word" (picture of the tiniest violin playing a sad song 🎻)

3/4 years ago I thought pretty much there would be a "lot of detrnaistion" because I was also worried for those poor people who got "mixed in gender ideology". And then time passed, and although I did know a few detransitioners, there is no data available today which is anywhere near what I used to parrot before. Even some detransitioners are starting to claim that they were recruited by radfems politically.

You know what we say? Only the stupid never change their minds.

If people are being recruited into hate groups it's often because they have something to gain from it or recruited by people fear mongering them by showing them a dozen of videos of weird people doing weird stuff or out of context shit or criminals that are not even 1% representative of the whole population, or shwoig them doctors being like "in my totally unbiased view this is harmful :'(". Basically manipulating them by using common biases that we know are associated with the human brain and constantly exposing them to it, and forming communities obsessed by those content. Researches done with the scientific method are less trusted than people with political agendas, which is crazy.

Actual oppression isn't being called TERFs online and being offended when I correct you on your bullshit. Stay mad.

#anon #hate #ask

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jupitermelichios · 2 years

Text

Snippet: Robin by Midnight

I'm finally making some actual progress on the next part of Robin by Midnight, but I'm making that progress by switching POV from M to Tim, which means giving up some of my favourite bits of M's perspective on the boys being lunatics. So to make it a bit less painful, here's a random moment from the beginning of the fic I'm sad about loosing. Enjoy!

ship: Midnighter/Tim/Jason

warnings: robincest, age difference, breathplay that would be unsafe if M wasn't a meta, everyone being series-typical levels of crazy, daddy kink as a joke, this tim has some gender shit going on

~*~

They move exactly like they were both trained by the same obsessive bastard, Hood going high while Red goes low, working together without a word spoken.

M wouldn’t wish his upbringing on anyone, and if he ever meets the Bat they’re going to have Words about how he treats kids, but there’s a little lonely ache behind M’s ribs as he watches them come for him all the same. He and Apollo can - could - work together, know one another’s strengths and weaknesses and how to predict what the other will do, but there’s never been anyone who was his match the way these two match. He knows they didn’t actually grow up together, but there’s so many points of similarity in the way they move, the way they work together, that there’s no mistaking them for anything but siblings.

The people who built his fight computer hadn’t expected him to use anything less than lethal force, and they certainly hadn’t anticipated what is essentially play fighting, so although he does his best to keep from hurting them, he can’t keep himself from putting them both down fast and hard.

He hooks Hood around the waist, clotheslining him and using his extra strength and weight to flip him onto his back on the floor and pin him there with a knee on his chest, carefully keeping just enough weight to hold him in place but not enough to break anything.

Red is still holding a knife, and even knowing that he’s not trying to hurt him M’s brain reacts to him as the greater threat. The blow to Red’s wrist isn’t, quite, enough to break anything, but it’s enough to loosen his grip on the knife. But Red is a feral little bastard who turned himself into a weapon, so he’s got a nightstick in his other hand before the blade hits the floor, aiming a strike at M’s ribs.

It’s rare that M has to use even half his speed against humans, and he prefers it that way. The fewer people who know the full extent of his powers, the easier his life will be. But he’s about as certain that Red won’t use that knowledge against him as he is that he’s got another knife hidden in that hoodie, so he moves almost as fast as he’s capable of to get Red down onto the armchair with M’s hand around his throat.

Red grins at him and mouths “choke me, daddy.”

“I only play that game with one of your family, and you’re not him,” M tells him.

“You really need to stop telling me about Nightwing’s fetishes,” Hood says conversationally.

“You can tell me instead,” Red says, his voice tight with lack of air.

“Not,” Hood says, and wrenches M’s knee sideways, sliding out and up and pressing the tip of his knife to the skin behind M’s left ear, “when I’m here. Hi.”

M twists his head to look at him, confident Hood won’t actually cut him. “Hi.”

“Just because I don’t look like I own a lamp made from human skin doesn’t mean I’m not a threat.”

“You going to tell me to let Red up?”

“Nah, he looks pretty happy were he is.”

Red grins and mouths, “Harder.”

“I know why you have this kink,” M says to Hood. “What’s his excuse?”

“Terminally kinky,” Red says, more of the weaze than real words.

“Terminally is the word,” M agrees, finally letting go. Red’s neck had felt so slender, so delicate, under his fingers, and he’s too young and too damaged for M, but he can’t deny there’s a thrill to knowing intimately just how easy it would be to hurt this kid and then not doing it. It feels like rebellion, and he’s pretty sure if he said that out loud, Red would understand. “You want to be careful how you play with kinks like that.”

“I’m always careful,” Red says, pushing himself up on his elbows. “Is it time to negotiate?”

“That depends on Hood.”

“He’s on board,” Red says, in a ‘keep up’ tone of voice. “It’s you I’m asking about. I know I’m…”

“Young enough to make me feel like a creep?”

“I’m not that young.”

“You kind of are,” Hood says. “I mean, I know I’m not one to talk given all of my… everything, but I totally get there M’s coming from.”

“You’re only three years older than me.”

“And you’re five foot nothing and you were telling me not ten minutes ago how part of your psyche will always be four years old.”

“And it will be when I’m forty, so I don’t see what that has to do with anything. And I’m five nine.”

He’s just barely over five eight, but M isn’t going to be the one to smash his dreams.

He must be thinking more loudly than he thought, because Red scowls at him like he can read exactly what M’s thinking and mutters, “shut up. Are you up for this or not?”

“Depends on the this.”

“M gets to fuck me,” Hood says immediately.

Red slants him a glance. “I don’t recall offering you a choice.”

“Oh so that’s how it’s going to be, is it? You gonna make me into your bitch?”

The smile on Red’s face is distinctly feminine and distinctly mean. “Make you? Darling, you’re going to beg for it.”

Hood takes a sharp breath, staring at Red with an expression M is intimately familiar with. Except he’d had to spank Hood’s ass raw and fuck his mouth to get him to look like that. All Red’s done is talk to him.

God, it’s almost sickening how perfect they are for each other.

“Yeah, okay, we can do that.” Hood licks his lips. “We can definitely do that. Do you prefer Sir, Mistress, bitch in charge…?”

“Just Red.”

“Oh you’re mean. I like it. Don’t I get a name at least?”

Red shifts, crossing his legs at the knee and arranging his - her? - arms in a way that M’s certain would be showing off his cleavage to the best advantage if he had any. “I don’t object to Scarlett.”

“Classy. Pronouns?”

Scarlett glances at him, and he realises he’s the odd man out here. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, kid. I’ll deal.”

“She and her,” Scarlett says, and then relaxes back into Red, and it says a lot about how carefully poised Scarlett had been that Red seems relaxed by comparison. “But I don’t need to be anyone but myself. I’d prefer M’s participation was voluntary.”

“It’s not like I didn’t already know you aren’t always a guy,” M points out. “You can be as femme, or as female, as you like with Hood, as long as you’re male with me.”

Red gives him a long slow look, and then says to Hood, “I really like him.”

Hood grins, lopsided and far too adorable for a guy with a bodycount like his. “Yeah, me to. Wanna arm wrestle for who gets to suck his cock?”

“Limits first.”

“Oh man, do we have to?”

Scarlet raises a single eyebrow, and it’s not particularly sculpted but somehow she’s giving the impression that it is just through sheer force of personality. “Hood…”

“Yes, your bitch-ness?”

“If you act like a child, I will be forced to treat you like a child. Does the idea of being made to sit in the corner thinking about what you’ve done while I suck Midnighter’s cock excite you?”

Hood shifts uncomfortably. “Honestly? Yeah, kinda. But only because you’re being so mean about it.”

“Jesus, you really are easy,” Red says in the voice of the girl from earlier, the one who looks like Hood’s smaller angrier sister. “Guess you’re just as much of a slut as the Titans always said, huh?”

“Gah, no, stop! Fucking hell Red, you cannot do that to me! You want a hard limit, there’s one for you. No being members of the family while we’re fucking.”

Red smiles, hot and predatory, and Hood sighs. “You being me is still really weird, and I still don’t look that much like I wanna get railed, but for some reason it’s not actually killing my boner, so sure. I’d still prefer you were just you though.”

“This is me,” Red says. “That’s just… You know how sometimes when B calls you tiger, you look into his eyes and there’s absolutely nothing except champagne and bad decisions looking back? Well the man who can do that to himself was my role model growing up.”

“God that’s creepy. I do get what you’re saying, and it’s even kind of sweet that we’re so important to who you are, but I’m hoping you are sane enough to at least understand why I prefer my brother not turn into my sort-of-sister half-way through sex, even if it wouldn’t bother you personally.”

“But you don’t object to me being you?”

M has had his cock so far into Hood’s mouth that he could feel his throat constricting around him, but he’s never seen him blush this hard before. “I would be kind of hot. If we… If you…”

“You want to watch yourself suck me off?” M asks, amused. It probably shouldn’t make the thought of sleeping with Red more appealing, but then if he was expecting any of this to make sense he wouldn’t be fucking Bats. “Or maybe you just want to suck your own cock?”

“According to multiple senior Titans you would not be the first Robin to manage it,” Red says with a grin. “We’d be carrying on a fine tradition.”

“That definitely doesn’t count,” Hood argues. “And honestly, I’ve always thought that was kind of a weird thing to want to do anyway.”

“So you do want to watch yourself suck M off,” Red surmises. “I can definitely do that. But we were talking limits. Yours and M’s.”

“And yours,” Hood says, before M can.

“You know me better than that, Hood. Tell me where to stop.”

“I know you well enough to know when you’re fronting,” Hood says. “But fine. I’ll be yours if you play your cards right, but that doesn’t make you or M my daddy. Or mommy. I’m a person, not a dog or an object, and letting you push me around doesn’t change that. And I own to being a slut with pride, but if you call me a whore or anything else that sounds like you’re talking shit about sex workers I’ll bite your cock off, you understand?”

“I understand. M?”

“I’ve never had a woman touch my dick, and I’m not starting tonight. If you and Hood want to play that way that’s fine but leave me out of it. Ass to mouth is how you get the really gross diseases. And we will be using my definition of fucked up for tonight, and if either of you gets an urge to do something fucked up, tell me first.”

“Sorry.”

“Not asking for an apology, Hood. I had fun. But I’d like a warning before you drop the dark shit on me this time.”

“Yes sir. Does that mean you’re not going to choke me?”

“No he isn’t,” Red says, and apparently this is what possessiveness looks like on him, eyes narrowed so M almost can’t see the black hole inside him, and high spots of colour on his pale cheeks. “He’s going to spot me when I do it.”

Enhanced senses can do all sorts of fun things, including spotting the exact moment Hood’s pupils dilate and his pulse kicks up a notch. “Promise?”

“I know to the second how long you can go without air.”

“B’s figures are out of date.”

“No they’re not. You’re just a desperate little slut.”

“Well yeah, obviously. I have it on my business cards and everything.”

“Vigilante, crime lord, sucks dick like a champ?” M suggests, amused.

“Aw, you remembered!”

“Hard to forget a mouth like yours, pretty boy.”

“Speaking of, I’m guessing all this flirting means you’ve got over your existential horror at Red’s age and gender, and we’re doing this thing?”

“I wouldn’t say that. The minute I stop being horrified by him is when I know I’ve gone fully mad, but I am prepared to put that aside to make sure he doesn’t skin you and wear your face as a mask.”

“We don’t have to do anything,” Red says. “You’re hot and all, but if you want to just play ref, or tag out with me, that’s fine. I’ll live.”

“Nah, if I’m doing this I’m going all in.” He holds out a hand to Red, feels it gripped by a hand that’s small enough to make him wince but calloused enough to know it belongs to one of his own tribe. “Kiss me.”

Red makes a low pleased noise that M can only label a purr, and slips off the sofa into M’s lap. Up close his eyes aren’t so cold as they look from a distance, flecks of true blue in amongst the grey, but they’re just as crazy as he was expecting.

He leans in to kiss him anyway, and the bit of his brain that’s yelling ‘eighteen! He’s eighteen!” is easier than he thought it would be to smother, because Red knows how to kiss.

M had been half expecting him to be soft, or at least yielding, but he kisses like he’s exactly as much of a bitch as he is, teeth nipping sharp and hard at M’s bottom lip when he doesn’t open up as quickly as Red wants, and a hand tight in his hair like M’s the one who’s offered to be Red’s bitch, and fuck but he’s always loved that. Red’s small cool hands don’t feel anything like Apollo’s huge hot ones had, except for how both of them touch him with complete confidence and not even a little bit of fear.

Even Hood had been scared of him, just a little, just enough to feed into his weird kinks, but Red’s kissing him like M isn’t the most dangerous one in the room, and he’s so into that.

He can feel Red’s eyes on him, knows he hasn’t closed his eyes when M did and probably never will, but he ignores it in favour of giving as good as he gets, digging his fingers in over Red’s ribs just enough to ache and pushing forward to fuck his mouth with his tongue, grinning into the kiss for the sweet little catch of breath he gets for this. Toppy little bitch isn’t opposed to taking a dose of his own medicine then.

When he pulls away it’s with that soft wet noise that tells you it was a good kiss, and the boy looking back out of Red’s eyes might even be real. He looks like he can’t decide whether he wants to fight M or ride his cock until he’s crying from it, and that’s a hard look to fake.

“Jesus,” Hood says quietly, and M looks over Red’s shoulder to see him watching them with wide wanting eyes. “My turn.”

M absolutely never claimed to be nice, which is why instead of just letting go of Red he picks him up and turns him around, arranging him with his back pressed to M’s chest and his legs held wide by M’s own, and says, “Go on then. Kiss your little brother.”

Red snorts and Hood makes a noise that’s somewhere between a groan and a moan, but he does as he’s told, dropping to his knees so Red has to bend over him, managing to loom despite being half Hood’s size.

“Hello big brother,” he says, the words pressed against Hood’s lips, a tease and a promise. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“I’d say the same but I only admitted to myself I even wanted you about half an hour ago,” Hood says, making Red hum something that was probably supposed to be laughter. “God T… Red. Kiss me?”

“I do like it when pretty boys ask nicely for what they want,” Red says thoughtfully, and kisses him.

#robin by midnight #tw: inc*st #cw: incest #midnighter x jason #jaytim #jason x tim #tim x midnighter #midnighter x jason x tim #my fics #genderqueer!tim #jason todd x tim drake #pwp fic #snippet #preview #robincest #pretty boy

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vicecityhq · 2 years

Photo

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF bloody knuckles, whiskey on the rocks, neck kisses . With a slight resemblance to IM CHANGKYUN of/the MONSTA X.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: jeup, alucard ALIAS: angel Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): earth Age: 26 Date of Birth: 09/26/1996 Gender: male Preferred Pronouns: he/him Species: pureblood vampire Sexual Orientation: bisexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Eye color: green Scars: n/a Piercings: ears, eyebrow Tattoos: multiple Hair color: black Abnormalities: n/a Horns/ wings/ etc: fangs Transformed form: claws and fangs

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF: SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: korean, english, japanese SECRETS: depressed over his mother's death SAVVIES: murder, sex, manipulation Powers & Abilities: Blood Consumptions, Blood Empowerment, Blood Flow Vision, Contaminant Immunity, Conversion, Immortality, Supernatural Condition, Hypnosis, Traits: intelligent but impulsive

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: 09/26/1996

Date of Death: n/a

Crime Record: many murders. never caught.

Background/Biography:

Alucard was the second born Jeup child. He was also the first born son. From birth, it had always been decided that Alucard would take over the Jeup empire. For years, the middle child was taught etiquette and the ways of the family. He had to learn the business side of things but also how to charm people. And he was charming. He was smart and everything his parents could have ever hoped for. He got along fairly well with his two siblings and was looking forward to taking over, one day.

Now, Alucard had always been close to his mother. They say the middle child is always the one that got least amount of attention but that was false, for the Jeups. They all knew that he was her favorite although she loved all of her kids to death. So, when the matriarch died, Alucard completely shut down. The once calm mannered and obedient son was spiraling out of control. Alcohol, drugs, sex, anything to keep his mind off of the fact that he’d never see his mother again. His presence in the Jeup house became scarce and at the age of twenty-two, he bought his own penthouse apartment.

His father began to notice that his son was no longer fit to take over the empire and switched the role to the youngest son. Alucard was not happy, to say the least. He’d been demoted to hitman. Now, he lives his life between bedsheets and murder. He isn’t sure if he even wants the role as leader anymore. He just knows he isn’t happy to have it taken away from him.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

Alucard scoffed as he crossed his legs. "No matter how many times you ask me, you're going to get the same answer." He checked his nails and made eye contact with the investigator. "I wasn't there. I'd picked up this pretty little thing, down at Ketsuki. Ass tighter than Jonas Brother's jeans." He chuckled. "Took him home and fucked him all night. I mean, you can check the CCTV." He shrugged. He always had an alibi and he never got caught. And he had taken someone home that night. That much was true. But he had also left back out and handled business. But of course the footage of him leaving would never surface. "If we're done here, I'd like to get back to pretty boy laying in my bed."

#vcnightblood #vcjeup #rp #rpg #oc rp #oc rpg #gang rpg #gang rp #mafia rp #mafia rpg #supernatural rp #supernatural rpg #literate rp #literate rpg #vcdarkspawn

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anime-rambles · 3 years

Text

“Welcome Home Omega”

Pairing: Alpha Bakugou x Alpha Kirishima x Omega Reader

Type: ABO Dynamic, SFW

Word Count: 2700+

A/N: I’m new to all this, but I dreamt about this the other night and really wanted to share this with everyone. I have a tone more to write, so please follow along and any feedback would be hugely appreciated. Thank you so much.

Summary: Omega y/n returns home to her pack after so many years aboard being a successful hero, now they fear begin rejecting by her pack and more importantly her alpha’s.

*****************************************

“Everyone please welcome to the stage, the one you’ve all be waiting for, Pro-Hero Shadow…” a loud voice spoke into the microphone as I waited backstage. Once my name was called, I left the spoke I was hiding in and joined them. The crowd was screaming and shouting, holding banners of my name and posters with my face. This was something I didn’t expect to happen when I returned home to Japan from my many years abroad. I smiled towards the women on stage, already determining her as a beta.

“Welcome Shadow, to your first ever hero-con” She spoke to me looking in my direction. I brought my mic to my face,

“It’s so good to be here, look at all these people wow.” I smiled towards the crowd. The cheering began again.

“So shadow, how are you feeling being back in Japan and being high on the hero board, especially as an omega…” she continued on looking at me, this was something I was used to.

“It feels so good being back, I left Japan 6 years ago after I graduated with my friends/pack members from UA, which many of you know...” I waited for the screaming to stop before I continued. “I was faced with two choice really, be a omega hero that would only get 2 years in hero work before being forced to stop by the hero commission or I could leave my pack and go to America and have a really good hero career helping other omegas reach their potential and then come back home, I think you can guess what I chose” I said, and turned to the interviewer waiting for her reply.

Being an omega in Japan and America is very different from each other, especially in hero work. In Japan, you get an unspoken max of 2-year work and then often omegas go to desk jobs in hero agencies. In America, you can be a hero no matter your 2nd gender but the chance of being taken seriously as an omega is very slim and was something I worked hard at. During my time in America, I created an omega hero agency and left it all to the very capable hands of my sidekick, frostbite. It was my time to come home, I need my family back.

“So, tell me, does you pack know your back?” She asked with smile in her eyes.

“I mean, yes and no. Our pack is a big one and it was created when we were back in school. The time that I left, I had an agreement with the unmarked alphas that I would not contact them at all, but to know I was safe, I was only allowed contact with the omegas. So, they know” I replied, laughing slightly back.

“So, a lot of alphas in your pack, how does that work?” she pushed for an answer.

“I can’t really say, our pack dynamic is private, so I won’t tell you who or what position everyone is but, we have a main alpha who us our leader, they have a second and then we have one alpha that doesn’t really care and then one alpha who gave up their position years ago.” I replied smiling hoping she would not ask any more questions about the pack.

“That’s fine, tell me about your work as a hero omega and how difficult is” She asked again. This is something I could talk about openly. I took a deep breath and began to speak about the importance of separating your 2nd gender, from your workplace, and they it does not define you. Yes, you can still have a timid nature but do not let it halt your growth as a strong independent person. That if you want to be head of heart surgery you do it and tell those Alphas/ beats to shove it, its your time to shine. I continued until I felt the interviewer wanting to ask another question.

“Although I’m strong, I would not have gotten to where I am today without my pack, in public they treat me like a hero, not an omega. I mean it didn’t take long to do bu…” I went to say but was cut off.

“What do you mean, didn’t take long?” she interrupted. I hesitated for a bit, and then looked out into the crowd.

“Okay, I really should not be saying this, but he won’t mind. Okay so when our pack was created, I was never allowed to do anything, and it really annoyed me. So, when our first Alpha was being chosen, I kind of challenged Pro-Hero Dynamite…. And won.” I replied looking out into the crowd and everyone started cheering.

“Since then, I was treated like a person, not an omega. Well not in public, in private we still use the proper greetings.” I smiled and turned to the interviewer again.

“Wow, you are amazing. We all know your now number 5 on the hero board, can you remind everyone your quirk again.” She asked gesturing to my hands. I look down and noticed the black sut coating my fingers. I nodded and began to explain. I can create my own smoke from my body and ignite it. From this smoke I can create solid weapon and if I have enough smoke in the area, I can tell a person’s movements. I do have a drawback; the smoke uses up the oxygen from my blood and can make me pass out or it stains my skin with black smoke.

The interview continues and eventually is opened to fan questions, near the end of the questions. I notice the back wall starting to fill up with tall dark figures, already guessing that my pack got word I am here. Excitement rises through me, and I find it hard to sit still.

“Well, I think the cats out of the bag your home, Shadow” the interviewers says to me gesturing to the back wall. Light shines to the back wall, standing there when their arms crossed is Pro-heroes Dynamite, Red Riot, Deku and Chargebolt who is waving crazy towards me. I laugh to myself, locking eyes with Bakugou lowering my head slightly.

“I guess so” I reply, and the cheering slowly dies down.

************************************

While sitting at my signing booth, listening to some amazing stories from fans. I hear my name being called the curtain behind me. I have a break from the fans for a second and approach the curtain.

“Hello, little omega.” The voice says, as I instantly know its Bakugou. I smile to myself, wanting to rip the curtain away and wrap my arms around his neck.

“Hello Bakugou, don’t move the curtain, I can’t look at your right now” I say honestly.

“Okay, at least put your hand through the curtain, Kiri’s here to.” He replies nudging the curtain. I sigh, it’s been 6 years and I can barely hold myself together with he thought of being back with my family but being a hero right now is what I need to do.

“Okay, but only quickly I have to get back” I whisper, and slowly put my right-hand backwords them. Instantly I can feel like touching my hand and kissing it.

“Can’t smell you omega, how come?” Kirishima asks.

“Stupid American pheromone blockers, I’ll take them off later at home, promise.” I say and pull my hand back to finish quickly and get back to my family and quickly as I can. I can hear both alphas walk away, and I pull my hand to my chest.

*********************************************

Hero-con is over, and I can finally come home. After we all graduated, everyone pulled their money together and we bought a huge house together which allowed all of us to live together as a pack. Before I left, I entered a relationship with Bakugou and Kirishima but now I do not know if they still want me in a dynamic with because they’ve been an Alpha/Alpha relationship for 6 years. I don’t’ even have a room anymore, Denki took it when I moved to America. There might be room, I think, Midoriya (A) and Todoroki (A/O) have a room, Sero (B) and Mina (B) have a room, Shinso (A), Jirou (B) and Denki (O) all have separate rooms even though they are together which leaves Bakugou (A) and Kirishima (A) who have the biggest room. I could always share with Denki until I find a new place, I say to myself as I knock on the front door.

I wait patiently, until the door is opened revealing a very excited Denki. Practically jumping on the spot.

“Y/N YOU’RE HOME.” He shouts while throwing himself into my arms. I hug back, I breath him in and tears start to fill my eyes.

“Oi sparky, you know the rules. She needs to follow the greetings as she’s been away for so long.” Says Bakugou with his arms crossed. I enter the house and look around seeing everyone in their groups. I cannot believe I am home.

I quickly great Mina and Sero first, presenting our pack mark and then onto hugs. Next, I go straight over to Shinso, presenting my neck to show I am not a threat to his omega or beta. Which he simply nods and as these dynamics, Shinso does not really care for. I great Jirou and then great Denki properly by touching our noses together. I approach Midoriya next as he used to be the main Alpha who brought us all together, I greeted him the same way as Shinso but instead Midoriya threw his arms around me puling me into a hug.

“Please never leave again, Bakugou’s been impossible” He whispers into my ear. I laugh looking over his shoulder to a very anger Bakugou. I turn to Todoroki who is half Omega/Alpha, I greet him the same way as Denki, I know he prefers that greeting than the alpha one. Its finally time to see if they still want me. Kirishima is practically beaming at Bakugou side. I approach with my head down; I can feel everyone’s eyes on me as I approach him. As he is lead Alpha, I must wait to see what he will do.

“Still can’t smell you omega.” Bakugou announces loudly.

“There’s a pheromone implant in my neck, Alpha, see you can feel it.” I reply, taking his hand to my neck. In American you are not allowed to use pheromones in public, so for hero work you must use an implant to block it. Bakugou feels my neck and I can tell he is not happy. He grabs me by my neck, slamming me on the wall behind him. Everyone runs forward but Kirishima stands forward stopping them. Telling them it must happen and that Bakugou won’t hurt me, much.

With his claw Bakugou cuts into my neck to pull the impact out, I do not make a sound and only look at him in the eye. It must be done, and I know he will not hurt me. Once the implant is out. Bakugou lends forward and breathes me in. He hesitates, and calls Kirishima over. Kirishima looks between the two of use and breaths me in.

“Oh, y/n, you should’ve come home sooner.” Kirishima says, pulling me towards him for a hug.

“Please, Bakugou, get rid of the rest they can’t see me like this.” I whisper.

“Oi, extra’s don’t you have a party tonight. Your hotels have your clothes, now get lost.” Bakugou calls out, looking at them all. No one moves.

“NOW!” Bakugou yells, using his alpha voice and everyone leaves.

As soon as the door closes, I start to cry. Six years of being all alone hit me at once, yes it was my plan to be a strong hero, its hard to do it without your pack or alphas.

“The first sign of your omega depression, you should’ve come home little one.” Kirishima says whispering into my hair.

“How could I, I would’ve let you all down and all other omega’s out there without a voice, so what I had to go through omega depression….. more than once.” I say back looking up into Kirishima’s eyes. Bakugou stands beside us, looking slightly smaller.

“Bakugou, go run a bath,” Kirishima calls out and Bakugou follows his orders.

“Wait, what’s going on. Bakugou what are you doing” I ask, looking confused. Bakugou leans over the stairs to look at me.

“Kirishima’s the Alpha now, we’ll the others haven’t picked up on it yet because we haven’t publicly fought, but he’s been the main Alpha for a while now, I can’t be number one all the time now can I.” Bakugou replies with a smile. I look to Kirishima who still holds me but is beaming with love as he watches Bakugou. I try to pull away from his arms. It is stupid why did I think this would work. They do not want me anymore, I just know. Kirishima noticed how I suddenly changed but decided not to say anything.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and smelling natural.” He says, picking me up with no issues. He climbs the stairs and I place my head into his scent gland in his neck. I notice that neither him nor Bakugou do not have a claiming mark yet. Once we reach the top of the stairs, I see my old bedroom door and ask Kirishima to put my down, he walks ahead to the double doors at the end of the hallway. Which is their room.

“I’ll only stay for tonight, and then I’ll find somewhere else to live, I don’t even have a room here anymore.” I say to Kirishima which makes him freeze.

“Silly omega, come here.” He replies, gesturing me to follow. I start to hear the water running in their private bathroom. Kirishima opens the door and lets me enter the room first.

The first thing I can smell is the strong smell of Alpha but slowly a familiar smell enters, I look around the room and see my stuff. Things that I had left behind, my paintings, photos of the three of use. The queen size bed with three sets of pillows, big enough for all of us. I look around and notice a curtained canopy hiding something. I look to Kirishima who leans on the door frame by the Bathroom and nods. I breath in again and noticed the familiar smell but I am not able to pinpoint it yet.

I pull back to curtain and freeze. “Is that m..” I say unable to finish as I look down, tears filling my eyes. Bakugou comes out of the bathroom and leans on the opposite side to Kirishima. I look at the two of them and then look down at my old nest, they kept it, they really kept it. I can’t speak, only cry. Bakugou comes over to me and hold me bringing me towards the bathroom. Kirishima entered first. He began to undress and tied back his long hair, He entered the bath first, as Bakugou began to undress me as my emotions were betraying me at his moment. There was nothing sexual about this moment, it was about Alpha’s taking care of their Omega. Bakugou lifted me and lowered me into the water to sit in Kirishima’s lap, he quickly undressed and joined us.

I started to calm down, feeling I could now speak. “So, you mean, you have forgotten me, and you still want to be with me.” I ask looking down at my hands. Kirishima wraps his arms around me more and places his head into my scent gland breathing me in, tickling me slightly.

“Of course, silly omega, we’ve wanted you since the day you knocked me on my ass.” Bakugou replied leaning in to kiss me.

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local-trashmouth · 3 years

Note

Henry making love to you and you're all soft but then you say you want kids and now bow (yes I call him bow lol) has the idea of getting you pregnant in his mind and kinda snaps and gets a bit feral or he extra soft 🥺🥺 whatever you like I just had this idea lol (feel free to write this for the gang as well, separate ofc)

note: not directly female cause 'm ftm so like gn reader please <3

headcanons ?

AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU

LITERALLY THIS HAD ME SCREAMING (altho I didnt rlly know how to write this because I hate kids xD)

I'm not sure if you meant have kids in sense of the natural way, or adopt a child (although that interferes with the impregnation thought of the bois) so I just wrote both variants

(also if this isn't what you wanted, pls send another ask. If that's the case im very sorry ;-;)

Warnings: mention of sex, impregnation, Patrick is a warning himself lol

Pairing: Henry Bowers x reader, Patrick Hockstetter x reader (I thought this fits him too)

Henry Bowers

Having a child naturally

since you said that, he can't concentrate on anything but the thoughts of building a future with you

he definetly goes soft on you, practically melting into putty

just you telling him that you want kids with him gives him butterflies

although he's worrying about being a horrible dad like Butch

you have to reassure him, telling him that he'll be the total opposite

heck even in school he can't think about anything else other than moving out of Derry with you and building a Family

he'll totally get you there, I mean, when you two can provide for a Family of course

he doesn't want to have children at a time where he can't give them the best possible life he has to offer

fight me on this, but he totally wants girls

so they have your beauty and heart, and he really just wants to do their hair

but when one of them or both turn out to identify differently he'll support them despite his views (same with the son/s)

if you end up having a son, or multiple he'll totally be that cool dad

taking them to shooting lessons and spending a lot of time with them

adopting a child

again, he wants to wait until you two can provide for it

he's gonna try his best to be a good parent, better than the previous ones at least

he'll probably take his kids into the woods too, make campfires with them while letting you put your head onto his shoulder

you just adore watching him bloom like that

if they ever ask about being adopted, he wouldn't be closed off about it

he totally takes you and the kids to Derry for holidays to brag to Butch about his success, and will 100% rub it into the boys' faces aswell

he really wants the kids to get along with the guys, they're his closest friends after all

Patrick Hockstetter

Having a child naturally

he totally goes feral when you say that

look, he won't be the best dad there is

and it's not even really his fault

which sometimes upsets you, and he gets it

but he's trying okay

he'll make a lot of shitty dad jokes

very very very overprotective over his kids

now there isn't just one real Person to him, but a whole family

HIS family

like, how did he get here?

it often overwhelms him

but he knows he can find that security he needs with you

so everything's good in the end

he really doesn't have a preference for the gender, and he will seem like he doesn't care about his kids

but he truly does, and it shows in other things than affection

for example, he will not hesitate to defend his kid, no matter if they are in the wrong or not

he'll also attend therapy which is a big step to a better future :)

when he's alone with you he opens up about his worries of not being able to give them the things they need/want because of his lack of empathy

so u better reassure ur fireboi

adopting a child

he lets you "choose"

the first months will be rough, and there will be a lot of small fights between you two

because Patrick never imagined to be in this kind of commitment

he hopes the kid gets into knives and other weapons, cuz boi will he fanboy about the one's he still has from being younger

he wants to stay in Derry, he just likes this town somehow

maybe its because he can get away with his killing

talking about that, he'll stop it

just for you and the kid of course

so you better feel special

#Henry Bowers #henry bowers imagine #fanfic #fluff #headcanons #imagines #reader insert #writing #it chapter one #it 2017 #henry bowers x reader #henry bowers headcanons #patrick hockstetter x reader #patrick hockstetter imagine #patrick hockstetter headcanons #Patrick Hockstetter

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fics-n-stuff · 3 years

Text

Home

Pairing: Kaz Brekker × Reader

Summary: Y/N and Kaz were once childhood friends, later reunited in the Barrel. After a business dealing went awry, Y/N has been in hiding for almost a year and the time apart has brought up a lot of feelings for Kaz.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: touch aversion, alcohol consumption

A/N: I haven't actually read SoC yet but I have done my research so I really hope I wrote Kaz accurately enough 🤞🏽 Let me know!! I left the reader gender neutral so all parties can enjoy 😁

Update: Pt 2 here!

You stared out of the window, watching the nightlife of the Barrel in full swing below you. It had been almost a year since you had been able to be a part of it all and, even though you had lived in Ketterdam all your life, you felt like an outsider now.

There was a knock on the door and you froze, head tilting to listen out for any threat. After a moment there was another knock, loud and heavy – certainly not the result of somebody’s knuckle hitting the wood. With a sigh, you stood up from the window ledge and crossed the room to the door.

Kaz was waiting on the other side, looking unamused as ever, and you waved him inside quickly and hurriedly shut the door behind him.

“I am one of three people that knock on your door, Y/N.” He said flatly, removing his hat and placing it atop your desk.

“I can’t be too careful, never know when someone might come sniffing around here.” You replied with a shrug. Kaz hummed shortly in acknowledgment before producing a small stack of envelopes from his coat. You snatched them from him eagerly, but careful to ensure that your fingers made no contact with his gloved ones.

“I’m getting tired of being your courier.”

“Well, I’m getting tired of being in hiding.” You huffed, leafing through your letters. “But I’d rather not walk around in a city where I’m actively being hunted.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten caught then.” Your head snapped towards Kaz at that, and you raised your eyebrows challengingly.

“I should slap you for that.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kaz’s face remained largely unchanged but you could see the shine of amusement in his eyes.

You had first met Kaz as a child, while visiting family in the village where his family lived. He was a sweet child, and you had struck up a fast friendship in the few months you spent there. You had even written letters back and forth for a couple of years until one time you never got a reply.

When you met again years later, entirely by chance, Kaz was a changed person. Your family’s fortune had taken a steep downturn and you found yourself alone, living in a tiny room in a boarding house in the Barrel, when Kaz came across you pickpocketing outside the Crow Club. He had recognised you, but you hadn’t recognised him at first. Everything about him was so departed from the sweet boy that you had known as a child.

He refused to tell you what had happened to change him in this way. He never gave you a cause for the ruthless person he had become to climb the ranks of the Dregs and earn the name Dirtyhands, never even told you what had brought him to Ketterdam at all other than that his father had died. He never pushed you away though. Kept you at arms length, yes, but he never tried to dissuade you from sticking around.

The longer you knew him the more you realised that he wasn’t as cold as his demeanour portrayed. He was fiercely loyal, you could see it in the way that he was with his Crows, and you were certain that he would do anything to protect those he cared about most. You admired that about him.

“You don’t have to come, you know. You could send Inej with my letters, she already delivers me food.” You said, turning away at the realisation that you had been looking at each other in silence for a few seconds too long. You went to sit down, picking up the envelope from the top of the pile and pulling up the wax seal. Kaz didn’t respond for a long while. You tried to read your letter but found yourself distracted with anticipation of what he would say, if he said anything at all.

“I commend your commitment to your business.” He said finally, and you smiled at the compliment. “Eleven months trapped in this apartment and you’re still keeping up with it all.”

“Being in hiding is no excuse to get lazy. If anything, it gives me more of a reason to keep on top of things. Work keeps me sane and keeps coin in my pocket.”

“And how long do you intend to keep conducting your business through letters and underlings?”

“For as long as I have to, Kaz. You know that.” You answered with a quiet sigh, setting down the letter that you definitely hadn’t been reading and turning your head to face him again. You saw his jaw tense and the grip on his cane tighten, but you didn’t know what it meant. You were worried that somehow you had done or said something to upset him.

You had learned, in the few years since your reunion, that sometimes even the most seemingly innocuous things could put Kaz in a black mood. You had caught on quickly to the way that he avoided touch at all costs, and adapted your behaviour accordingly. He had still never told you why being touched triggered such a strong reaction in him, but he knew that you would always respect that fact.

It didn’t matter to you what traumas Kaz had suffered to create these traits in him, only that you knew how to navigate being in his space without violating his boundaries, because deep down you knew that Kaz was the most important person in your life. He took you in and offered you support when you needed it, given you structure and taught you skills to survive without even necessitating that you use those skills to serve his gang, all because of the friendship that you had shared as children. It didn’t matter how heartless people said the Bastard of the Barrel was, you knew that Kaz cared; perhaps not in the same way that you had come to care for him, but he did care.

“Maybe you should go, I’m sure you have work of your own to do.” You mumbled, your eyes drifting downwards anxiously. “And anyway, I have letters to read.”

“I could protect you.” He blurted. His voice was a little louder than usual, his tone less flat, and your brow furrowed in confusion and curiosity. “We could. The Crows, and the Dregs.”

“I don’t need your protection.”

“But you’d have it.”

You turned fully in your chair, straddling it with one leg either side of the backrest, and leant your forearms on the top of it. There was something in Kaz’s eyes that you’d never seen before and, although you prided yourself on being able to tell how Kaz was feeling and what he might be thinking about, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Do you know something that I don’t?” You questioned.

“Of course not.”

“Do you suddenly not trust my ability to keep myself safe?”

“Nothing like that, Y/N.”

“Then what?” You rested your chin on your arms, looking up at him expectantly. He held your gaze, but you could see the cogs turning in his brain as he calculated his next sentence. You were preparing for an argument to start, so you certainly didn’t expect the words that came from him next.

“I’m concerned about how long you’ve been alone here.” He answered. You blinked.

“Concerned?” Your voice cracked a little with your surprise, and Kaz clenched his jaw as he averted his eyes from you.

“I just thought that maybe all this time on your own might have had some affect on you. And I... hold a certain sense of responsibility.” His voice never wavered or faltered, other than the one pause there was no suggestion in his speech that the words held any significance to him, but you could see the tension in his shoulders and the tight grip that he maintained on his cane.

You narrowed your eyes, taking a moment to examine his face and his demeanour. Everything about him was wound tight, like he was making a particularly tricky deal rather than talking to a friend – you hoped that he considered you a friend – and though he was looking in your general direction you noted his avoidance of eye contact.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were saying that you miss me, Mr Brekker.” You said, your mouth turning in a small smirk. You saw Kaz’s chest tighten as he silently took in a sharp breath, and you chuckled lightly. “I’m fine, Kaz. Inej visits often enough, and I’m happy to see you when you deliver my letters. I will say though, I miss drinking with your Crows.”

Truthfully, you did feel rather trapped in your tiny apartment. For almost a whole year your entire world had consisted of only three rooms, and even if you didn’t admit it you were going slightly mad. Not being able to leave was frustrating, and living your whole life in one room (because really, who spends that much of their day in the bathroom or kitchen?) made you feel like a caged animal.

He didn’t reply. He also didn’t move. You watched him, standing straight and stiff as ever in the middle of the room, for a few moments. Usually he would have said something or made a move to leave, so you knew that he was deep in thought about something. You slouched further down against the backrest of your chair.

“If you’re planning on sticking around then you should at least sit down.” You sighed. “I have some kvas, or whisky if you’d prefer.” Kaz shook his head no to the drink but made a move towards the window seat. You watched him cross the room and sit down, his grip remaining on his cane as he placed it between his knees. “What’s on your mind, Kaz?”

“It’s not important.”

“That can’t be true.”

“And why is that?” He questioned dully.

“Because you’re still here, with me, staring into space like you’re waiting for the wind to tell you a secret.” He looked at you then, and you could see a conflict swirling behind his eyes. You resisted the urge to furrow your brow in worry. He still didn’t say anything, and that didn’t do anything to ease your concern because Kaz Brekker was not often one to be at a loss for words. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes.” He murmured, his head nodding slightly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You asked softly. He looked into your eyes for a few seconds before turning his head away, clearly deciding not to answer. You were almost expecting him to get up and leave the apartment right then, remove himself from the uncomfortable situation like he had been known to do before, but he made no move to stand.

You stood instead, abruptly moving through to the tiny kitchen and pouring a glass of whisky for yourself. You took a long sip as you came back out into the living space, picking up a wooden staff on your way. You kept up your combat training while in hiding, though it wasn’t often that you got an opponent.

“Humour me, will you?” You smiled, spinning the staff in your hand and setting your drink down.

“There’s not much space in here.” Kaz commented.

“Then we’ll be careful. Get up and fight me, coward.” You goaded. He gave you an incredulous look but stood anyway, tossing his cane up and grabbing it at it’s middle as he came towards you. Your grin broadened, and you waited just until the was in your range before you swung at him.

Your staff collided with his cane, moved up just in time to block your attack, and he watched you with challenging amusement. You let him make the next attack, knocking his cane away when he swung it towards you.

You exchanged blows, each of you managing to block all of the other’s attacks but you were starting to corner him. It seemed like you were about to get the upper hand when he swiped his cane towards your middle, making you jump back, and before you could move to swing on him he had pushed the crow’s head handle into your chest, not so hard that it was painful but with enough force to knock you backwards.

You landed on the edge of your bed with a groan, letting the staff drop from your hand in defeat.

“No fair, your cane is basically an extension of your arm.” You grumbled. Kaz let out a short breath, the closest thing to a laugh that anyone could get from him.

“You picked the fight.” He shrugged, lowering his cane and righting it at his hip. “I could have told you that you wouldn’t win it.”

“Mean!” You exclaimed in exaggerated offense, sitting up. When you looked at Kaz his expression was soft, the worry behind his eyes seemingly eased, and you smiled. “I could beat you if it was hand to hand.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He replied, the almost compliment catching you by surprise once again.

It had been a while since you and Kaz had spent any significant amount of time together. He was a busy man, particularly so over the last few months it seemed, so other than his brief drop-ins to deliver your letters you hadn’t seen him. It was nice to have his company again, even if he was a little off.

“Do you remember those drawings of Ketterdam that I used to send you with my letters?” You questioned softly, tucking your knees up to your chest. “I used to walk around the city looking for spots to sketch. I’d spend hours sitting on the street with my pencils trying to get the picture perfect to show you what it was like. I think, now, you probably know the city better than I do.” You smiled wistfully, resting your head on your knees as you looked up at Kaz. You saw his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow.

“You miss it, don’t you?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“You could go out there, stop hiding. You know I would look out for you.”

“I can’t put that burden on you, Kaz.” You chuckled lightly. “Enough people want you dead already, you don’t need to be looking after me while I’m being actively hunted.”

“How long do you plan on staying locked in here then?”

“As long as it takes, we went through this earlier. I have a big deal coming up, with the money from that I’d be able to smooth over some edges and maybe I could come out of hiding in a few months.” You theorised. “I’d still have to watch over my shoulder all the time but it would be an improvement.” Kaz’s jaw tightened again, and he bristled with agitation.

You hugged your knees tighter, doubt and worry overcoming you. Was Kaz not okay with coming to see you here anymore? Was he trying to get you out of hiding to lighten the burden it had put on him, getting your letters delivered to the Crow Club and having to bring them to you? The thought of not being able to rely on his short visits was enough to fill your chest with a mixture of dread and guilt.

“Like I said before, you don’t have to keep coming if that’s the problem.” You added, hiding the dejection in your voice. “Inej can-"

“No.” He interrupted bluntly. You blinked, pressing your lips together in contemplation. Was he upset that Inej was bringing supplies for you? Or worse, had something happened to her? Was that what was bothering him so much tonight?

“Why not?”

“Because I-" He cut himself off. He took a step back as if regaining his balance, his gaze falling to the floor, and you watched him flex his fingers around his cane as he organised his words. “Do you remember how you got sick while you were visiting your family?”

“Kaz.” You murmured tentatively, craning your neck to try and get a better look at his face that was turned away from you. Kaz didn’t like to talk about the past. Even bringing up the letters that you sent each other had been pushing it, but for him to choose to talk about your childhood was something he had never done before. Still now, it looked like the mention of the past was making him nauseous as he moved to sit down in the window once again. Your curiosity was growing by the second.

“You got sick and you could hardly get out of bed for almost a fortnight.” He continued, dismissing your concern. “I went to visit you every day. I picked flowers for you to make you feel better, and your mother baked oatmeal cookies but I refused to have any unless you did because you weren’t eating enough.”

“I remember.” You nodded. “You never let my glass of water get empty. It was sweet. But why does it matter now?”

“I can’t... I can’t stop worrying about you. But unlike when we were kids, I can’t just walk up the street and check on you every day.”

You felt as if all the air had been knocked out of your lungs and for a second you genuinely wondered if you had made that up in your head. Kaz very rarely expressed any emotion – the mask he wore hardly ever slipped – but here he was telling you that he worried about you. For Kaz, that was practically him baring his soul for you to see.

“You don’t have to worry about me.” You said shakily. “I’ve been fine so far, haven’t I?”

“But what if you’re not fine for much longer? As long as you’re holed up here I can’t keep you safe, and I can’t come to check on you because if I come here too often people might notice. Honestly, it’s a miracle that they haven’t already.”

“I didn’t think you believed in miracles.” You mumbled. Kaz glanced up at you, and the vulnerability on his face was unlike anything you’d seen before. It struck you in the heart and made you feel a need to comfort him, to put him at ease. “I can take care of myself, Kaz. I promise."

He was silent for a moment, his gaze downcast once again, then he took a deep breath and spoke.

“I think I’ll take that drink now.”

You watched him for just a second before you got up, crossing over to your desk and picking up the glass of whiskey that you had left there. The glass was half full since you had admittedly poured a little too generously.

You held it out to Kaz, who reached for it without looking. Although you were careful to hold the glass at the very top, his gloved fingers still brushed slightly over yours as he took a hold of it. He immediately stiffened, and you were quick to pull your hand away, taking a step back to give him space. He downed the drink in one, his face scrunching just slightly at the burn it left in his throat as he set the glass down by his feet.

“I just want to be able to watch over you.” He said, his voice barely more than a whisper, and you could practically see how difficult it was for him to verbalise his feelings.

“I think... I understand what you mean, Kaz. But I’m safer staying here than being out there, even with the Dregs protecting me. You have to know that, right?”

Kaz pushed a peice of hair out of his face, his gloved hand smoothing over his head as he let out a long and quiet sigh. Finally, he looked up at you.

“I know.” He answered.

“I appreciate your concern though.” You smiled. “Honestly, I didn’t think you cared about me that much. Or, well, I knew you cared but I just didn’t think... nevermind.”

“You didn’t think what?” Kaz’s question made you pause, anxiety pooling in your chest as you contemplated coming clean about your feelings. You thought about lying, about keeping your secrets to yourself, but Kaz had been so sincere it only felt right to return his honesty. With a deep breath, you worked up the courage to finally tell him the truth.

“I didn’t think that you cared as much as I do.” You replied. The sentence hung in the air for a moment as you moved back to sit in your desk chair, heart pounding in your chest. “I’ve kind of found myself caring a lot, actually. I think it’s only fair, really. I mean, I kind of owe you my life and all so it makes sense that I care. That’s not to say that it’s sensible but it is at least understandable, I guess.”

You bit your lip to stop your rambling, dropping your head so that you didn’t have to look at Kaz. There was a long stretch of silence.

“I care more than I might show.” He spoke softly, much more softly than you think you’d ever heard his voice. When you looked up Kaz was gazing right back at you, your eyes locking and his stare going deep into your soul. He didn’t need to say more, that simple sentence and the look in his eyes were enough to tell you what he was confessing. A smile pulled at your lips.

“Be careful what you admit, Brekker, or I might think that you’re going soft.” You joked, and he shook his head lightly in amusement. You leaned forward with your elbows on your knees, letting go of the anxiety that had been coursing through you.

“I'm serious, Y/N."

“I know. You don’t make a habit of saying things that you don’t mean.” You nodded. You glanced up at the clock on your wall with a sigh. “You really should get going, it’s dangerous for us both for you to stay too long.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He muttered.

He stood after a moment, his hand flexing over the crow’s head handle of his cane. You reached back to pick his hat up from the desk, and he held a hand out for it, but instead of passing it to him you placed atop your own head. It was too big, and you had to push it back on your head so it didn’t slide over your face.

“You know, I rather like you without the hat.” You smiled.

“Is that so?”

“Yep. I can see your face better this way so I can tell when your emotions manage to break through.” Kaz’s lips quirked upwards a little as he took the hat from your head and put it on his own. You jutted your lip out in an exaggerated pout and he let out a huff that seemed suspiciously close to a laugh.

“Do you have any letters you need me to send out?”

“No, not this time.”

“Alright, then I’ll be on my way.” He gave a quick nod and turned towards the door. He had only taken a couple of steps when you twisted in your chair and called after him .

“Kaz.” He stopped and turned back to you. “I’m doing what I can to get out of this apartment, I promise.”

“That’s not something that you owe me, Y/N. It’s your freedom and your safety. But I await the day that you come waltzing into the Crow Club ready to make Jesper lose all the coin in his pocket.” He replied lightly, making you smile. “And if you need anything then I’m here, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you, not just for this but for everything. Everything that you’ve given me since that night outside the Crow Club. I might be dead if it weren’t for you.” You let sentiment out freely, finally feeling able to show your heart to Kaz now that you knew that your affections weren’t one sided. His expression softened, and he seemed to contemplate something deeply, before he took a single step back towards you and held out one gloved hand.

You hesitated, unsure if he was initiating what you were thinking, but he maintained eye contact. He gave a small nod, a mix of permission and encouragement, and you tentatively reached for his outstretched hand.

Kaz took in a deep breath when your hand made contact with his, and you watched him carefully ready to pull your hand away. After a moment he released the breath, wrapping his fingers lightly around yours and running his thumb over your knuckles.

“You’re the closest thing to home that I have.” He croaked. “I didn’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t.” You affirmed. Kaz released your hand, and you found yourself missing the feeling of the leather glove. He took a small step back, trying to hide the shake in his breathing.

“I’ll come back soon, as soon as it’s safe to.”

“Okay.” You smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

Kaz left the apartment without another word between you, he paused before closing the door after himself just to look at you for a moment longer. You watched out of the window to see him leave the building and start off through the street, a broad smile on your face.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix #sab #sab netflix #soc #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker oneshot #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #dirtyhands #bastard of the barrel

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sinnamonrolle · 3 years

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Headcanons: Endearments [Obey Me!]

❀ gender neutral ❀

! slight spoilers for Belphegor and Solomon !

I was thinking about this for a while, and I really want to share it with everyone else too.

These are gender neutral terms of endearment! And no matter how big you might be, you'll always be their lovely little human being ;)

Here are my headcanons for the terms of endearment from all 12 characters, including my reasoning for them! I had fun thinking about them.

Demon Brothers:

Lucifer

"Vesper", with variations such as "little Vesper" or "my little Vesper"

Lucifer means "Morning Star", and so after some digging online, there's actually a name for the "Evening Star'' as well, which is Vesper. Lucifer and Vesper both refer to the planet Venus, and so the reasoning behind why Lucifer would call you "Vesper'' is because he sees you as his other half, the other side of him. Together, you and him make up the brightest star in the sky.

I suppose it is more of a nickname than a term of endearment, but it's all the same. It's filled with love and adoration for you! No matter the time or place, he will always call you "Vesper" because it is also how he shows his pride in you, but he uses "darling" just as much. Leave it to him to call you his "darling Vesper."

Mammon

"Fortune", "little fortune", "my little fortune"

When you hear Mammon, of course you will think about money and physical possessions. The word "fortune" can be understood as related to the amount of owned assets, but also related to luck, chance, and destiny. So, to Mammon, you are his everything—his human, his wealth, his future. You are priceless in every way, and he’s so lucky, so fortunate to have you.

The endearment “little fortune” comes about accidentally. Mammon blurts it out one day, and he hurries to correct himself because “wait, wait, wait, I didn’t mean little fortune as in the amount because ya ain’t small at all. You’re really big—agh, that’s not what I mean! It sounds cute, okay! Little or big, it doesn’t matter. I won’t ever spend you.”

Leviathan

“Pearl”, “Henry”

I think we all know where “Henry” comes from, but what about “pearl”? Firstly, pearls are from the sea, which Leviathan is strongly related with. Leviathan himself has reptilian features—his snake-like tail, his birthmarks that resemble scales, his coral-like horns—in fact, Leviathan is known as a sea serpent. Pearls are treasures of the sea, and they are extremely beautiful as well. But there is also another connection you can make, this time with East Asian mythology. In East Asian mythology, dragons are often related to the sea, even residing in them. They are long, serpentine, wingless, but they still have two arms and two legs. They also are often depicted with a pearl, and this pearl is very, very important to the dragon. Seeing as Obey Me is a Japanese game, I think connecting Levi with an East Asian dragon isn’t too big of a stretch. Actually, there are many similarities, but there’s no need to dig into it today.

You know how Leviathan is. It will take Levi a long time before he begins using terms of endearment with you because of his insecurity. However, once he feels confident enough in using them, he’s super dramatic (and low-key romantic) with them. He’s watched enough anime and played enough games to know many terms, but is he able to use them? It’ll depend on how comfortable and confident he feels.

Satan

“Precious”, “beloved”, (and of course) “kitten”

Satan is extremely well read. This means that his arsenal is particularly wide. “Kitten” is a term that many of us may find familiar, and understandably so. We all know Satan’s love for cats. But I think Satan, as a being who is born from emotions, is more sensitive to them than others, and they make up an important part of him. Which is why, despite his large arsenal of endearments, he uses the “simpler” ones, but the ones that he does use, there’s a lot of emotions behind them. You are simply precious to him, and the most befitting endearment for it would be “precious”. There is nothing sweeter than a pure “beloved” filled only with love for you.

Asmodeus

“Treasure”, “jewel”, “my love”

If Asmo is the jewel of heaven, then you are the “treasure” of his life. You are as beautiful as a “jewel”, and you reflect the light like a “jewel” as well. The love they show you is reflected back twice as strong. For Asmo, his endearments for you don't come from the physical value behind them. In fact, Asmo himself doesn’t care for treasures or jewels, but out of them all, you are his “treasure”, his “jewel”, his “love”. He puts you equivalent (or maybe even higher) than himself, and he wants to show it to you not only through actions, but words as well.

Beelzebub

“Pudding” (and perhaps, other cute food endearments)

We all know how much Beel loves food, and we all know how much Beel loves his family, and so it’s almost obvious why Beel calls you “pudding.” As a human, you are squishy, squishier than demons, and you are also delicious looking. You smell good, you look good, and the comfort that food brings to Beel is equivalent if not greater than how you soothe and comfort him.

Although, while Beel loves calling you cute endearments, it makes him hungry, so he has to hold back on them. I guess that means more endearments when he’s full, but when he has to cope with his hunger and there’s no food around, Beel calls you by a wonderful amount of endearments. You do have to be careful though! He might decide to sample you. (In what ways? Who knows, heh.)

Belphegor

“My little sun”, “little sun”

He doesn’t call you his “little sun” because you are little, but because Beel is his bigger sun. Beel was in his life first, and then you came. But the order doesn’t really matter to Belphie because you are still a very important sun to him. In the twins’ bedroom, Beel has a sun motif on his side, and Belphie has a moon motif. Belphie is more comfortable with the darkness (literally and figuratively), so to him, you are his light that shines through and guides him to a better place. You are everything that he needs to survive.

Belphie’s trauma has affected him greatly, even if it doesn’t seem like it. So it takes a long time until he gets really attached to you, but when he does, he can’t live without you. Calling you his little sun is placing you in his heart, at the same level as Beel (Or perhaps even higher).

Other Demons:

Diavolo

“Little gold nugget”, “gold nugget”, “nugget”, “little nugget”

Contrary to how it may first sound, “little gold nugget” isn’t to diminish your value or your worth. To Diavolo, who probably has a low-key obsession with gold, “little gold nugget” is super adorable. He’s also never really been called an endearment before, nor has he ever called someone by one, so this is all new territory to him. Also, as a future king and a prince, everyone is important to him as his citizens. Diavolo is the king above all nuggets, but you in particular are his “little gold nugget.” He also wants you to call him by an endearment, a term only used for him, but that is something for you to decide on.

Barbatos

The closest thing to an endearment would be “Your Grace” for Barbatos. “Puffling”, if you can get him drunk enough (I’m somewhat joking here).

If you’re expecting something else, I’m afraid Barbatos is too polite, too cautious to simply throw around the usual terms of endearment. In fact, I think from the way Barbatos is, he turns a way of addressing nobility into an endearment for you only. However, if you do manage to worm an endearment out of him, he will jokingly call you a “puffling” after baby puffins. I think he finds them adorable, but it isn’t a serious endearment. Barbatos won’t be caught dead calling you a “puffling”—not because he doesn't want to—but because it’s not at all appropriate. He has an image to keep.

Angels:

Simeon

“Little sparrow”, “little droplet”, “little lamb”

“Little lamb” is a familiar term, and “little sparrow” is also something Simeon calls you. A sparrow represents many wonderful things, like joy, love, good fortune, luck, and so on, and Simeon considers you every one of those things and more. Like sparrows, droplets are also fragile—ephemeral in their lives. Droplets fall and disappear so easily. But droplets also signify uniqueness in that one droplet is separated from other collections of water. To Simeon, you stand out among others. You are wonderful, joyful, full of life, and so, so beautiful.

Luke

“Lamb” (perhaps “lambling”? I’m really unsure.)

He means it in a platonic way!! Like a guardian angel to a baby human, except that baby human is you.

We all see Luke as a child, but Luke, in this case, doesn’t see himself as one. He’s way, way older than you, and so while he is still immature among other angels, he’s lived way longer than you have. It might seem weird to have him call you an endearment, but you are a lamb in his eyes—pure, kind, gentle. You are someone who must be protected! And so while Luke doesn’t use endearments too much with you, he will use it when he’s feeling a little playful or dramatic. He prefers your own name because he loves how it sounds.

Human:

Solomon

“Little star”, “breadcrumbs” (as a joke)

Solomon has lived for who knows how long. As a human who has lived for that long, his mentality towards certain things might be a bit different from a regular human. Attachment is difficult for him due to his lifespan, and this is reflected in his attitude. Many people are fleeting in his life. The mundane becomes hard to appreciate after so long. Even memories erode after a lifetime. There is no particularly heavy sentiment behind “little star”, but he has begun to consider you as a part of his destiny, a star in the constellation of his life. And like a star, you appear so far away from him, so unapproachable due to how you are always surrounded by others. He can only appreciate you from afar, until you let him close.

“Breadcrumbs” is a lighthearted endearment that he once heard somewhere in the human world. When he calls you “breadcrumbs”, he doesn’t mean anything at all by it, only that it sounds absolutely ridiculous but also so adorable at the same time. It’s an amusing endearment he heard in his long, long life. “It’s the joy in the little things, and breadcrumbs are exactly that—little things,” Solomon will say, but no need to take him seriously. You will always be the star twinkling brightly in his life.

-------

Feel free to add what you think the characters would use as terms of endearment! I wanted something special for each character, so that's why this post was made lol

(If there are any errors, I will catch them sooner or later. Please, don't mind them.)

Masterlist!

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insomniacowl · 3 years

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Neon genesis Evangelion Analysis Chapter 23: Katsuragi Misato Part 2 Dear Shinji, this is my will.

Misato: So you don't want to meet your dad?

Just like me

Let us start from the beginning. The scene in the first episode where Misato drives down to meet Shinji. Her first words to him were, "Sorry, I made you wait." This, I believe, is the first of many times their interactions will revolve around the theme of "Waiting." The line also contrasts with her final words to Shinji, "Let's continue when you get back."

Her cross is first brought to our attention through Shinji's eyes as Misato shields him from the blast of explosions from the Self-defense force's missiles used against Sakiel. Then, on their way to NERV, Shinji confides to her about his feelings towards Gendou. Misato empathizes, saying, "You're just like me," pointing to their commonalities.

She later consoles Shinji as he refuses to pilot Eva-01 and tells him to "Not run away from himself." At this point, she was already seeing herself reflected in Shinji, and those words were meant for herself as well.

After this point, Misato constantly finds herself reflected on Shinji. While it has a positive influence, like in episode 1, it also frequently caused Shinji to hurt. One criticism viewers lay on Misato is the sarcastic tone she sometimes takes when talking to Shinji about his actions. "You don't want to pilot the Eva? With that kind of determination…. What a pain!", Is one of the harsh words directed at Shinji. Even in episode 12, her cold reaction to Shinji's contemplation regarding Asuka is also, in its own way, infamous.

Yet, if we consider that she sees a lot of herself in Shinji, those lines come to represent her self-contempt rather than how she sees the fourteen-year-old. Misato was not really in the position to take care of teenagers if we consider her character flaws.

While such actions are worthy of criticism, there is room to empathize considering the traumas she had to endure, which has shaped the kind of "Adult" she became. As a young child, she was in the center of the Second Impact, and the psychological impact has led to her being mute for a few years. However, she seemed to have eventually recovered. Perhaps to compensate, we are told that she became an overly happy and talkative person. On top of this, she has studied hard and become a student at the Second-Tokyo city University. She met and began living with Kaji in the year 2005, at the age of twenty. According to Ritsuko, she even had a week-long sex marathon with Kaji, where neither of them left the house during the period.

To elaborate on her constant need for physical pleasure, we can start from the glimpse of her inner monologue we get during the instrumentality. We learn that it was one of the few things she had control over that made her feel alive when she was intimate with Kaji. Yet she breaks up with him because She saw a glimpse of her father reflected in him, although that was what got her attracted to him in the first place.

What are you embarrassed about? You wanted the man you love to see you for who you were. NO!

I wonder about that. You wanted your father to see you for who you were. That's not true!

We can identify Misato as struggling with Electra Complex (Oedipus Complex for girls) regarding how she views her father. She then attempted to quench the thirst for affection her father failed to provide her from a different man who felt similar to him. This can be observed through Kaji and Shinji. Two people sharing the same character flaws as her father (Workaholic and being bad at human interaction) being the two people she opened herself up to (Mentally, emotionally, and sexually). Misato was hoping to compensate for the loss she suffered and recover from her past trauma using her relationship with these two.

Consciously or unconsciously, she likely understood this side of herself. She felt disgusted by herself, leading to her breaking up with Kaji while punishing and labeling herself as someone "Undeserving to love." While her relationship with Kaji was open and overtly described in the series, some of you might wonder how Shinji is involved in this process. Especially regarding the sexual aspect of this analysis.

We can definitively say that Misato and Shinji do not share a simple Guardianship relation. But the discussion about Misato and Shinji can wait for now. First, let us discuss Hyuga Makoto.

Hyuga is seen approaching Misato as more than just a direct superior at work (Especially after Kaji's death). "Only if it's with you (I don't mind dying from the base self-destructing)." It is a telling line that highlights Hyuga's feelings that he begins acting on in the latter part of the series. Turning him into a more dimensional character. While Misato seems to be aware of such advances, we never see her acting on it. Neither accepting nor rejecting him outright. Since this is at the low point of her emotional journey, Misato would have been okay with anyone. Thus, it makes us wonder if there could have been more intimacy between the two off-screen. I'd argue that Hyuga died a virgin (or at least that there was no sexual relationship between the two) based on Hyuga's fantasy during the instrumentality.

To bring our discussion back to Kaji, we are shown that he was the first man she trusted and gave her first intimacy to. At the same time, she was someone Kaji was able to trust and be vulnerable with. We never see either of them refer to each other by their names. While the reason is not depicted, we can make an educated guess and say that it stems from their determination to interact professionally. Without letting their (embarrassing) past hinder their work.

But perhaps it was destined that this guise was not meant to be. In episode 15, we see the two confide in each other. Misato laments about her father and her regret of not being a good lover for Kaji. Kaji embraces and accepts her of it. The last time they ever shared a bed, Kaji gives her his final present. His death led to Misato shedding many tears, but the present helped guide her to her next step. Before this point, we see her constantly drinking her favorite beer, but never after this event. All we see her drink from then on is canned coffee, Kaji's favorite drink. And now, two peoples' worth of "Will" lived on inside her. One from her father, the other from Kaji.

Now, let's discuss the last "Male" in her life: Shinji. As mentioned earlier, Shinji was more than just a child under her care. Shinji's first introduction of Misato was through her photo that she sent him. It is a revealing photo of herself with arrows drawing attention to her breast. As a side note, the actual words in this image were written by Anno himself, and the lipstick mark was from one of the female Gainax staff.

From the photo, we can see that Misato wants Shinji to see her as more than a potential caretaker (as ethically should), but as someone of opposite gender and a "potential" love interest. Although, of course, we can brush it aside as a part of her quirky and fun-loving attitude. But the problem arises in the latter part of the series where this attitude crosses the line. The suspicion is confirmed in the official pamphlet's character introduction describing her as Shinji's family + co-worker + superior + "lover."

Misato: Shinji, I'm going in. This is about all I can do for you right now.

Shinji: No!

The scene central to this discussion happens in episode 23 when she takes her seat next to Shinji, who is grieving the death of Second Rei on his bed. Although surface-level reading is, Misato wants to hold his hands to comfort him. If that is the case, the line "This is all I can do for you right now" is unnecessary. And not only that, but Shinji's rejection of this advance is also too strong to justify the conclusion of the surface level analysis. If anything comes to mind about an act that two grown-up adults do on the bed is "Sex."

Even if we try to give the benefit of the doubt and stay at the surface-level conclusion that is psychologically comfortable, this is Evangelion. It refuses psychological comfort. The film book released by Gainax has a note about this scene that says, "Misato is attempting to give Shinji her body." This is even alluded to in the shot right before the line, the head of the chair being where Shinji's Penis would be, and Misato coming to sit right on top of it.

Throughout the series, both Misato and Asuka approach Shinji as the "Other sex." it's natural for Asuka since they are the same age. However, it is unnatural to think of Misato (Who is twice his age) approaching Shinji sexually (neither should be accepted). So let's dive into how Misato might think about that. As early as episode 2, we are shown Misato yelling at Ritsuko through the phone, saying, "There is no way I will lay my hands on a boy!". This is perhaps foreshadowing what she will be doing in the later part of the series. So what changed in her throughout the series that she would end up trying to lay her hands on Shinji sexually. Did she genuinely believe that it was the only way she can console Shinji? Or perhaps there was a more selfish reason, to distract herself from the sadness of losing Kaji? Well, it could be both. There is a middle ground and an explanation that I prefer. Kaji was the only man she allowed herself to be vulnerable with. Because the best means of communication between the two have been sexual, she most likely believed this to be the most effective way to empathize and be vulnerable with Shinji.

We can see this as another manifestation of her Electra complex if we consider that Shinji also reminds her of her father.

As many of you are aware, Evangelion borrows concepts from psychology and is strongly influenced by Freudian psychoanalysis. Psychological terms are heavily used, especially in later episodes. The characters' internal conflicts are put into the spotlight in episodes 18, 19, and 20. All these episodes use terms from psychoanalysis for their title. Let me touch on each of them briefly over here. Episode 18's title is "Ambivalence." It refers to the coexistence of two conflicting emotions (Love and hate) regarding something and was coined by Eugen Bleuler in 1911. Freud borrowed this term in his analysis. His followers believed it to be an essential state that leads to the sadistic sub-phase of development. Episode 18 is also when the dummy-controlled Eva Unit-01 destroys Bardiel. Thus the title can also help us understand the Destrudo-led sadistic destruction of the dummy program.

Episode 19's title is "Introjection" and was a term heavily used by Freud. It is the unconscious adoption of the ideas or attitudes of others and a psychological defensive mechanism used by the ego to minimize anxiety. Almost every human being goes through this phase and is a part of healthy development as an individual. Episode 19 is when Shinji emits a strong dose of Destrudo and achieves a 400% synchronization rate. Here, we can try to explain the use of this term for the episode title in two ways. The first is to refer to the synchronization process of the pilot and the Evangelion. Secondly (and more specifically to the episode), to refer to Shinji becoming an individual that has become a part of Unit-01. Becoming a part of Unit-01 who have just absorbed the S2 engine and become as though god.

Last is episode 20, titled "Oral stage," and is the stage central to Freud's theory of Libido's development. Libido is the potential sexual energy, and Freud categorized the development into four distinct stages, starting with the oral stage. During this stage of development, the child clings onto its mother's breast for nourishment. This is also when the child begins to develop the ability to distinguish between themselves and the other. The significant happening of episode 20 is salvaging Shinji from Unit-01's Core, trying to bring Shinji back as an individual and away from the comfort of his mother. This can be seen to parallel the child leaving its mother's womb and coming to be born into its own person. And to add, they had to inject Libido into the Core to salvage him.

To return from our long detour, Evangelion is a series that heavily draws its conceptual inspiration from Psychology and Freudian psychoanalysis. What Freud posits, and perhaps most central to his scholarship, understands that desires created by both Libido and Destrudo, any forms of mental energy are irresistible and irrepressible. That is to say, if during one's development if any of such mental energies' expressions are disturbed and blocked off, it will results in the development of harmful coping mechanisms as an adult. In the case of Misato, her father's absence resulted in the absence of ways to healthily release her Libido. Therefore, Misato's inappropriate advance towards Shinji could manifested the harmful coping mechanism she developed as a child.

Losing her father as a child resulted in dysregulation in Libido. Losing Kaji, the only person she truly loved, left Masato broken. At this point, she had no other way to release her desires other than laying hands on a vulnerable child. When both Shinji and Penpen refused her the physical affection she needed, she could only find comfort in listening to Kaji's final voice message in repeat. Yet, she did not lose all possibility to recover. She was able to dry out her tears and began to follow the road her father once took. This leads her to analyze the evidence Kaji passes onto her and begins questioning the truth behind Rei. By the end, she manages to reach close enough to understand the "Truth." This is how she was able to explain to Shinji what was going on. She also experiences character growth through this process, becoming able to fully understand and empathize with the pain of others.

This is also when we see her starting to differ from Asuka. While both lost Kaji, whom they both loved, Misato comes to accept this loss and can carry herself as an adult. By the end, she was mature enough to send the grieving Shinji to Unit-01 during the End of Evangelion. While Misato has always convinced Shinji to get on the Eva, now, she was different from the past. Unlike in episode 4, where she emotionally manipulated Shinji into piloting Eva. Unlike episode 12, where she drew a hard line and coldly forced him. In EOE, she was no longer forcing Shinji out of her own hatred of the angels. All there was, was a grown adult's desire to convince a child that "Life is worth living." Even if she were to die during this process. All there was, was Misato's advice as an adult to the crying child. And it was this "will to live" that was passed on from Misato to Shinji.

Misato places her necklace on Shinji's hands and wraps his hands around it. Just as how she once held onto it while facing death in its face. Her father's memento. The love towards one's family. Hope for humanity. And all else that the cross symbolized. And the cross passed on from Misato to Shinji like the passing of the torch. To pass on the will to live. This was followed by a grown-up's kiss, just like how Kaji showed her, the perfect way to, perhaps the only way to fully communicate this will and pass it on. To want the other to continue living and hoping to live on as a part of their memory.

With the kiss, Misato stopped pretending to be Shinji's inept guardian.

She sent Shinji off, hoping that he could become a grown-up who can stand by himself.

Misato: You will be alone from this point on. You need to choose for yourself.

Shinji: No. I can't.

Misato: Crying isn't going to solve anything, either!

Misato: You hate yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others. Deep down, you know that you suffer more when you cause someone else pain than if you just let yourself get hurt. But Shinji, that was your decision, so that makes it a valid choice. That's what you wanted, so that makes it worthwhile, Stop lying to yourself, and realize that you do have options. Then accept the choices that you made.

Shinji: But you're not me. You don't understand!

Misato: So what if I'm not you?! That doesn't mean it's okay for you to give up! If you do, I'll NEVER forgive you as long as I live.

Misato: I'm not perfect either. I've made tons of stupid mistakes, and later, I regretted them. And I've done it over and over again. A cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time, I learned something about myself.

Please, Shinji. You've got to pilot Eva and settle this once and for all. Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all.

And when you've found your answers, come back to me. Promise me. See you soon.

Kaji: Go and do what you can. No one will force that choice on you. Think for yourself and decide for yourself. GO and do what you must right now. So that you don't live to regret it.

Misato: If I had known it would end like this, I would have changed the carpet as Asuka suggested.

Many discussions about Eva centered around her last words, the one about the Carpet and Asuka. Most of the theories have interpreted it with the spilled coffee during the instrumentality scene. I'll touch on the scenes shown in instrumentality in future chapters. But for the discussion here, note that the coffee was not spilled on the carpet during the instrumentality scenes. So I'd instead interpret this line separately from it. Personally, I believe this to be Misato, as an adult, regretting not being as kind and compassionate as she could have been to Asuka.

Unlike Shinji, who she managed to pass on her will and true feelings, she did not have that privilege with Asuka. Instead, she wallowed in her sadness, not looking out for Asuka, who was herself suffering from traumas and grief. The regret of not being a good guardian and not making the home comfortable for Asuka would have hit her as waves of regret crashed in as she laid bleeding cold on the floor of section R-20.

After Shinji, who she just sent off, Asuka, who she feels sorry for, After Penpen, who was always there for her, Kaji now crosses her mind. Was she waiting for his praise for passing on his will to Shinji?

As though she can see him, she stares at the sky. Right before the explosion, we see Rei standing over her. Perhaps it was Lilith who traveled through time.

And we come to the final scene of the EoE. Shinji and Asuka are lying down on the shore, staring at the sky. At this moment, we are reminded of Misato through the cross, now nailed to a wooden post. The cross has come to symbolize Misato's hope and dreams for the two children who will now be growing up into two adults. Will Misato be able to revert back to her human form by her soul desiring it? Nobody knows. But I don't think that matters. Because now, Shinji carries on her will.

Let's continue when you get back.

I'm back. Welcome back.

Welcome Shinji, this is your new home.

I'm back.

Welcome back!

Sorry, made you wait!

TBC Chapter 24: Ritsuko Part 1 Mother and Daughter

#Neon genesis evangelion #Evangelion #Eva #End of Evangelion #Nge #Nagisa Kaworu #Lilith #Sci-fi #Ikari Shinji #Soryu Asuka Langley #Asuka #Ayanami Rei #rei #Anno Hideaki #Katsuragi Misato #Kaji Ryoji #Anime #Analysis #Review

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alien-baby-boy · 3 years

Note

*Comes rolling in* Thoughts on Omegaverse??? 🎤🎤🎤 headcanon, perhaps?? (I like your headcanons best :3)

hi, ace! i like hearing from you, too. i just imagined you on rollerskates & that made me laugh so take it as you will :D

i'll split this into two parts, my thoughts on a/b/o as a whole & my headcannons for it

tw for the low tier in my thoughts, dark things that are unfortunately common in omegaverse (r*pe, abuse, drugging, etc)

Part One: Thoughts

i have read omegaverse before, it's practically a staple in any fandom. that being said there is definitely a tier of what is a good a/b/o fic & what isn't. all in my opinion, so i'm not judging the people that read "low tier", it's just not my cup of tea.

high tier- alphas, betas, and omegas all stay true to their personality or character, dynamics are seen as more of a gender & about as important as hair or eye color. omegas can function in society alone & be successful, alphas can be homemakers, etc, it all depends on the person. heats & ruts are inconvenient, sure, but it doesn't drug the person & make them useless for a week. just about any pairing has a chance at romance, not just alphas & omegas or two betas.

low tier- omegas as a whole have little personality & only want to cook, clean, have kids, etc. i admire the people that do this in real life, but there's almost no way every single omega wants the same thing. also, alphas that abuse, r*pe, or treat other dynamics as slaves because "it's in their nature" is definitely a whole can of worms i do not want to open or even look at. when omegas are basically drugged during their heats & unable to do anything except sex or self pleasure, as well as when omegas only exist to "serve their alphas"/ reproduce.

i realize a/b/o is fiction and all, but reading the kind of stuff in the low tier example makes me physically sick.

now that all the dark stuff is out of the way, here's what you're really here for

Part Two: Headcannons

L is a,,,, omega!

everyone thought he'd present as a beta, since he didn't show signs of any dynamics & generally acted like he didn't care about it while showing little emotion in daily life

L hates being an omega and cried for hours after presenting. they locked themselves in their room and refused to come out for three days until they needed to get food.

per L's request, Watari hid their dynamic in official papers & got the best suppressants, birth control, and other omega necessities that money could buy

they frequently wish they were a beta, don't ever want children or to manage a household, and wanted to remove the omega organs from their body.

since L wouldn't be able to live without said organs, they just suppress everything & ignore the warnings of various suppressant companies to use caution

L was very worried his dynamic would negatively affect his career as a detective & make the task force undermine his authority, so he hid his dynamic as much as possible while not bringing up other people's

took private self defense lessons (capoeira) to feel more in control of his body as well as on the off chance something might happen

nothing ever did, L's just paranoid.

their heats were already intense, but on the rare occasion they forget to take their suppressants, it's ten times worse.

L is about the average height of a beta, although he's much skinnier than most betas or well-fed omegas, so most people just assume he's an unclassified beta

L's pheromones smell like a combination of vanilla, orchids, and clean soap

Light is a,,, alpha!

he was very overprotective of his loved ones, even before he presented, and was raised knowing that his personality matters more than his dynamic

his family did joking bets on if he would be classified as a beta or an alpha, since he had traits of both. he loved to cook, was a very active kid, and always knew when someone was really hurt or just needed their parent to get them when he was on the playground

Light is netural on having children, but definitely wants marriage and a partner who wouldn't need to rely on him 24/7

he generally dated betas, and a few omegas before meeting L.

Light doesn't understand why L hates their dynamic so much, since omegas are respected & equal to other dynamics in japan, but he accepts them regardless

he is a firm believer in dynamic equality & is not afraid to speak about it or correct older generations when they're being rude.

Light's pheromones smell like citrus, pine, and cloves

Misa is a,,, omega!

it was no surprise when she presented, Misa has always loved attention from others, fantasizing about her wedding, dress up toys & dolls, as well as other traditionally feminine things associated with omegas.

she doesn't suppress her heat but she does take birth control since she wants to live her life independently and have a career as a pop star/ idol before starting a family

she has dated other omegas, beta, and alphas before, but generally prefers betas (*cough* like rem *cough*)

Misa has volunteered with younger abused or at risk omegas, to show them you can live however you please no matter your dynamic, and frequently campaigns for better access to heat suppressants, allowing dynamics to be removed upon request, etc

she loves being an omega and honestly couldn't imagine herself as a beta or alpha

Misa's pheromones smell like peppermint with a bit of sage mixed in

also, Rem, Ryuk, Matsuda, Watari, & Sayu are betas. Aizawa, Mogi, Soichiro, & Wedy are alphas. Sachiko, Halle, Naomi Misora, & Mello are omegas

amab omegas are pretty rare at just 15% of all omegas, while afab alphas are at 40%

betas make up a the majority at about 55% of the population being beta, 25% alpha and only 19% omega.

the missing percent is because in rare cases, like if it would put them in danger or if they're in an important political position, some people are unclassified, or they just never present medically. unclassified people generally live as betas

this is very long, but i hope you enjoyed! i've never written an a/b/o fic before, but now i feel like i could if i wanted, so thanks for the writing inspiration! until next time *waves*

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