#after enough therapy it did turn into. i feel like that and i'm wrong and it's insane to feel like that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

markantonys · 2 months

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AITA for joining a "cult" that thinks my sister and mom are Darkfriends?

First, some backstory. I (30m) have always been an outsider in my family. It wasn't anything to do with my parents - dad (dead) always spent all his time with me instead of my younger siblings, and (step)mom (43f) always gave me extra attention compared to her bio kids because she didn't want me to feel neglected - or with my brother (21m), who's always looked up to me. It was all because of my sister (19f). She's hated and bullied me ever since she was a toddler, and I have no idea why. I guess maybe she doesn't think I'm her real brother, or blames me for telling on her whenever she did irresponsible things like climb trees and talk to strangers. All I've ever done is try to keep her safe, but she's never appreciated it.

Anyway, there's this organization (my sister claims it's a cult, though I don't think that's fair) that's dedicated to serving the Light. My mom always hated them and kept them banned from our country because she thinks they have an agenda against women who can channel, and she's one herself, as is my sister. I used to believe her, but after reading one book written by the organization's founder, I realized that my mom has a totally biased view of them and they're actually doing really important work founded on admirable principles. So when my sister went missing at the hands of women who can channel, I decided I'd had enough of those women lying to everyone all the time and I joined this organization.

I did have my view of them shaken when I found out my mom had been kidnapped, abused, and murdered by one of their leaders (turns out she's actually still alive though, don't worry about that), but I challenged that leader to an honorable duel and killed him to avenge my mom, and my friends and I rooted out a handful of other corrupt members of the organization, so now with that small minority gone, the rest of us can continue doing the Light's work and spreading awareness of the evils of the One Power.

To be clear, I OBVIOUSLY don't think my sister and mom are Darkfriends; it's only everyone else who uses the One Power who is. I've explained this to my sister multiple times but it only makes her angrier instead of grateful that I'm making an exception for her and choosing to believe the best of her. It feels like I can never do anything right in her eyes, but maybe I've somehow got the wrong understanding of the situation. So, AITA?

******

u/dainbornhald: NTA. Your sister's problem isn't actually that you joined this organization (which totally does sound 100% Light-serving). She doesn't think you're her real brother and is just looking for any excuse to continue the bullying, manipulation, and gaslighting she's been using on you since she was a toddler. [+5k votes] u/childbyar: Came here to say this. Sister sounds like a textbook abuser, and, honestly, almost definitely a Darkfriend. I'd go no contact with her, OP, and maybe get a restraining order if you have to - she's obviously unhinged. [+1.2k votes]

u/amyrlinseat: You joined a cult that thinks your sister is a Darkfriend based on an innate characteristic about her that she didn't choose and can't change (unlike you, who DID choose to join this cult), and you're whining that she's mad at you for it??? YTA [-749 votes]

u/luckyfox: YTA for the cult thing, but this whole family's got serious mommy AND daddy issues (take it from an expert). Sister resents you for getting all your parents' attention growing up, and you have a victim complex about being a stepchild/half-brother. I can only wonder what might be going on with the middle brother who wasn't mentioned much here. You guys need to go to therapy. [+2 votes] u/galaddamodred [OP]: My brother always seemed very well-adjusted, but a few hours after I made this post he actually died going on a suicide charge in battle because he thought he was unimportant enough to risk and no one would care much if he died in the attempt. Which sucks because now the only sibling I've got left is my sister who hates me. [+273 votes] u/luckyfox: oh my god [+312 votes]

#every time i read galad's narration of elayne being sO MeAN to him in AMOL #i'm reminded of an r/aita post where the person is skirting around crucial information to make themselves sound like not the asshole jkfg #wot #wot book spoilers #the wheel of time

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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 7 months

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Alive // Chad Meeks Martin x Reader x Ethan Landry

request: Heyy, i love your fanfics! Could you possibly do a part 2 of "more than this"? I absolutely adored it, and I was wondering if you might be able to write a part 2. Thank you 😁

prompts: none!

summary: after ethan kissed you, you didn’t know how to feel. you already have a boyfriend, chad, who you absolutely adore. but could there be something there with ethan? what are you gonna do?

warnings: smut, cheating, cunnilingus, dirty talk (kinda), language, alcohol consumption, loss of virginity (ethan)

word count: 2.5k

a/n: reader has female anatomy, but there aren’t any pronouns used. only physical description is that they’re shorter than ethan (which isn’t very hard he’s freaking 6’2)

part 1 part 3

My mother told me I should go and get some therapy

I asked the doctor, "Can you find out what is wrong with me?"

I don't know why I wanna be with every girl I meet

I can't control it, yeah, I know it's takin' over me

“Ethan! Ethan, please! Open the door!” you shouted, knocking on the door to his dorm room.

To anyone walking by it looked like you were pissed, ready to tear into someone, either verbally or physically. But that wasn’t the case. You were just desperate to see Ethan. He had been avoiding you ever since he had kissed you after you confronted him in the quad. And all that you wanted was to talk to him. To see him. To just be with him. You hadn’t stopped thinking about the feeling of his lips on yours. He was all you could think about. And it was driving you crazy.

“What do you want?” he asked from the other side of the door.

His voice sounded shaky. Broken. Like he had been crying. You wouldn’t blame him, especially given the way things were left between the two of you. You almost cried a few times over it too.

“I need to talk to you. Please. Just let me in, Ethan.”

Let me in. The same words you had said to him when you were trying to find out why he was acting strange. The same words that led to him kissing you and then running off, leaving you there dumbfounded and confused.

“Why? I get it. I know I shouldn’t have done what I did. Can’t we just forget it? Haven’t I already suffered enough?” his voice cracked as he spoke, and you almost could’ve sworn you heard him sniffle.

“But what if I don’t want to forget it?”

A pause. Silence. And then…

The door creaked open slowly, Ethan peeking out from behind it. His eyes were red and puffy and dried tears stained his cheeks. He looked utterly miserable and you felt your heart ache at the sight.

“What…?”

You sighed. “You heard me. I don’t want to forget it.”

You pushed on the door gently, and Ethan let you open it. You stepped inside and shut the door behind you. When you looked back up your breath hitched. Had he been that close before?

“I-,” Ethan began.

You couldn’t wait for him to finish. You stepped forward and leaned up, kissing him. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled him closer. Ethan squeaked in surprise, shocked by your actions. A few seconds later he started to kiss you back, his hands moving to your waist.

“Wait,” Ethan said, pulling away. “We can’t. Chad-”

“Chad is in class for the next hour. We don’t have to worry about him.”

“But-”

“Do you want me?”

“W-what?”

“Do you want me?” you repeated, your eyes glued to his.

He nodded, his ability to speak being swallowed by his shock.

“I want you too. Nothing else has to matter right now.”

You pulled him down into another kiss.

I'm going crazy, can't contain it

So tell me just what I should do

You panted as you collapsed beside Ethan on his bed. Your head felt dizzy and your body was tingly. Chad was good, but Ethan… Holy fucking shit. You couldn’t believe you had been depriving yourself of that for this long.

Ethan gave you a dopey smile, pulling you to rest your head on his chest. “Would now be a bad time to mention that I was a virgin?”

Your eyes went wide and you sat up, turning to face him. You were shocked, and honestly… impressed. But Ethan didn’t take your expression in the way you intended it.

His cheeks flushed red and he pulled his arm over his face. “I- I’m sorry. I know I should’ve said something. But I was just so caught up with what was happening, and I- I didn’t think… It wasn’t that bad, was it?” he asked, his pitch growing higher with nerves.

“No! God no! I- I just wasn’t expecting it is all,” you said, your hands gently pulling his arm away from his face.

“You didn’t think I was a virgin? Why…?” he looked utterly confused, and your heart swelled at how adorable he looked.

“Well, I mean you look like that. And you’re good. I mean like really good…” you trailed off, growing embarrassed by your own words.

Ethan’s face flushed even darker, and a smile grew on his face. “...You think so?”

You nodded, laying back down and burying your face in his neck. He laughed softly, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you closer. He opened his mouth to speak again when…

“Ethan? You up yet?” Chad called out, shutting the front door behind him. “You better be awake, we have class in twenty minutes.”

The color drained from your face as you heard Chad’s footsteps getting closer. You looked up at Ethan in panic, and in a sudden moment of either pure genius or idiocy, Ethan threw the comforter over your head.

“Ethan. Wake u-” Chad paused after opening the door, seeing the very clear outline of another person in Ethan’s bed. “Oh. My bad. I wasn’t aware that you had company. I’ll leave the two of you alone then.”

Chad backed out of the room, a proud smile on his face. Before he shut the door, he mouthed to Ethan, “Nice job man!”

She said, "Hey, it's alright, does it make you feel alive?

Don't look back, live your life, even if it's only for tonight"

She said, "Hey, it's alright, if it makes you feel alive"

You pushed the blankets off of your head, sitting back up. You turned over to Ethan and he looked utterly terrified. You placed your hand on his cheek, turning his head towards you.

“Hey. Are you okay?” you asked, concern present in your voice.

He nodded his head, but then shook it immediately after. “I- What are we doing? He’s your boyfriend. And he’s my best friend! I just- This isn’t right.”

“I don’t like doing this to him anymore than you do. But, I don’t want to just leave him. I love him, Ethan. Like, I really love him. But… I feel something for you too.”

Ethan sighed, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. Your breath got caught in your throat at the sight of his bare chest, and you had to look away before sinful thoughts appeared in your mind.

“You’re gonna choose him, aren’t you? I mean you said it yourself, you love him. I’m just something. I- I don’t know why I thought-”

You placed your hand over his mouth to get him to stop speaking. Pulling it away, you moved to straddle his lap so you could face him better.

“Who said anything about choosing? I love him, and yes, I don’t want to lose him. But I don’t want to lose you either. And maybe it’s wrong, but you have to admit it’s a little exciting.”

Ethan nodded, a smile growing on his face. “Yeah. I- I guess you’re right. It is a little exciting.”

“I don’t have to decide anything right now. I’m going to stay with Chad, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop seeing you.”

Went to a party, just after the doctor talked to me

I met a girl, I took her hand up to the balcony

I whispered somethin' in her ear that I just can't repeat

She said, "Okay," but she was worried what her friends would think

In the next few weeks, you definitely didn’t stop seeing Ethan. Whenever Chad was busy, you were sneaking around with Ethan. A few times, you and Ethan had almost gotten caught. But you were careful. Chad was just as clueless and as hopelessly in love with you as ever.

And so, here you were. At yet another frat party that Chad dragged you and Ethan too. Chad had wandered off somewhere, probably playing some drinking game, on his way to getting blackout drunk. You stood in an empty corner, an untouched cup of spiked punch in your hand, watching the chaos unfold around you. You could never understand how Chad actually liked these things.

You felt a presence beside you, and you turned to see Ethan standing next to you. He looked slightly tipsy, thanks to the shot Chad forced him to take. But he also looked a lot more confident. That was definitely going to make things interesting.

Ethan leaned down to whisper in your ear. “You look so hot tonight. I can barely control myself around you when you’re wearing that dress.”

You giggled, twirling around to give him a better look at the dress. Ethan almost let out a whimper at the sight of you. His face was flushed and he couldn’t stop gnawing on his bottom lip.

“So don’t,” you whispered back, a small smirk on your face.

“What…?”

“You heard me,” you stood up on your toes to whisper in his ear. “Don’t control yourself.”

She's going crazy, can't contain it

She asked me, "What should I do?"

You laid back on the random bed in the empty room you and Ethan had stumbled into. Your dress had been hiked up over your hips and your panties were dangling off your ankle. Ethan kneeled beside the bed, one of your legs over each of his shoulders. He gripped onto your thighs tightly, keeping them pulled apart.

You whined softly and bucked your hips up towards Ethan, making him let out a breathy laugh at your actions. He blew cold air against your dripping core, making you twitch and let out another whine.

“Ethan… Fuck. Please…” you pleaded, trying to move your hips closer to his mouth.

“Patience baby, I’m admiring you. You’ll get what you want in time,” he replied, sounding slightly out of breath.

Despite the seemingly dominant position Ethan held over you, you both knew the truth. He really was just admiring you, he wasn’t trying to tease you or make you wait. He was just as desperate for this as you were, if not more. He was addicted to you, every single part of you. He could never get enough. Which was why he couldn’t bring himself to care that Chad was just downstairs.

Groaning in frustration, you reached down and gripped Ethan’s hair, pulling him to where you wanted him. You let out a sigh of both pleasure and relief when you finally felt Ethan’s tongue come in contact with your achy and soaked core. He lapped at your dripping cunt eagerly, moaning at the taste of you.

“Fuck…” you moaned out, gripping his hair even tighter, causing him to whimper underneath you.

“God, you taste so fucking good,” Ethan said, sucking on your clit.

You moaned louder, your back arching and your hips bucking against his mouth. Ethan moved one of the hands that was holding your thighs to rest across your hips, keeping you pressed down against the bed.

“Stay still baby, I’m trying to enjoy my treat.”

The two of you were so enthralled with each other that you didn’t hear the door, which neither of you thought to lock, being pushed open.

“Y/n?”

I said, "Hey, it's alright, does it make you feel alive?

Don't look back, live your life, even if it's only for tonight"

I said, "Hey, it's alright, if it makes you feel alive"

Your eyes went wide at the sound of Chad’s voice and you sat up, instantly moving away from Ethan and pulling your dress back down. Ethan turned around to see Chad looking between the two of you, his face doing nothing to hide the sheer panic he felt.

“Chad…” you whispered out, your eyes watering as you looked up at him.

He didn’t look angry. He didn’t even look sad. There was just nothing. There wasn’t a single identifiable emotion on his face, and that scared you even more.

You slipped your other leg through your panties, pulling them back on. You stood up and walked over to Chad. Ethan stood up too, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“Y/n, what is this?” Chad asked, looking at you but not, it almost felt like he was looking through you.

“I- I can explain,” you said, your voice breaking as you looked up at him.

Chad shook his head, and his eyes watered. You felt your heart shatter. You reached up to touch his cheek, but he stepped back before you could.

“Do- do you still love me…?” Chad said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes! Of course I still love you Chad! You’re everything to me!”

“Then- then why…?”

Ethan sighed, looking down at the floor. “It’s my fault.”

We gotta live before we get older

Do what we like, we got nothing to lose

Shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders

Woah, we've got nothing to prove

Ethan explained everything that had happened between you and him, still not lifting his gaze from the floor. Chad stood there silently, and you could hear your heart pounding in your ears. You had never seen Chad so… dull. Lifeless. He was always so happy, vibrant. And to know that you had caused this, that you caused him to look so empty, it made every single piece of your being want to explode.

What had you done? You had hurt the person you loved most in this world. And for what? Some stupid fling? If you could take it all back, you would. Sure, Ethan was fun. It was exciting sneaking around and seeing each other in secret. But the look on Chad’s face…

You had never felt worse. How could you hurt him? It wasn’t worth it. Nothing was worth it. Nothing was worth losing the man that you loved. He looked so miserable. Betrayed. You had caused this. And if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t see a way to fix this.

I said, "Hey, it's alright, does it make you feel alive?

Don't look back, live your life, even if it's only for tonight"

“Chad…” you said, stepping towards him.

He backed away, his eyes flitting to you. You felt your stomach sink when you saw a few tears running down his face.

“Don’t. I- I can’t- I can’t deal with all of this right now,” Chad said, his eyes moving between you and Ethan.

As you looked closer, you saw something strange. Sure, he was still hurt by what you had done. But there was something else in his eyes. Excitement…? No, that couldn’t be right. You had cheated on him. He had walked in on you fucking his best friend. Why would he be excited? It didn’t make any sense to you. Unless…

“I- I should go,” Chad said, turning around and walking through the door.

“No- Chad, wait!” you called, stepping out into the hallway, but he was already gone.

You sighed in defeat and turned back to Ethan, who looked equally as deflated as you were.

“What’re we gonna do?”

I said, "Hey, it's alright, does it make you feel alive?

Don't look back, live your life, even if it's only for tonight"

I said, "Hey, it's alright, if it makes you feel alive"

tags: @wenvierismycomfort

if your name is crossed off, it means i can’t tag you!

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ghouljams · 9 months

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Fae!Gaz meets his darling. I have a few other fae!Gaz darling asks that I might answer because he's another that's had a few. But this one is His Darling, y'know?

"Can I have your cherry?" You look over at the man next to you, his bored expression.

"Uh." He points at your drink.

"Your cherry, they didn't give me one and it's my favorite part." You glance down at his drink, realization hitting you.

"Oh," you laugh and fish the cherry off your ice, "Oh my god, sorry. I thought you were hitting on me."

He hums as you settle the bright red fruit in his waiting hand. He tosses it into his mouth stem and all, chews it for a moment then pulls the stem from his lips. Three neat knots tied in it as he sets it on the bar in front of you.

"No. This is me hitting on you." You stare at the stem in shock, you've never seen someone do that. You've heard enough people brag about tying one knot, but three? You look at him and he's smiling, it's dazzling. "I'm Gaz, I didn't get your name."

Like a stunned fool you give it to him, and he smiles a little brighter. It feels a little easier to talk to him, he taps his finger against the bar, you want to talk to him. You're sure your friends are having fun on the dance floor, you're sure they're waiting for you, but his eyes keep pulling you back every time you look away. Your conversation flows and wanders about nothing, about everything, you aren't sure what you're talking about. Just exchanging stories, you think.

"So," Gaz drags the word out, you hum, warm from your drinks, they seem to appear every time you finish one(not that you're complaining), "what do you want?"

"What do I want?" You fumble the question, leaning against the bar and rocking on your heels, "mozzarella sticks." You nod, yeah, you're starving. You wonder if your friends would want to find a McDonald's after this. Gaz chuckles.

"No, I mean really want?" His eyes narrow, smile dropping, it's the first time you've seen his amicable expression change, "I can't pin you down, you're too…"

"Too…?" You raise your brows, this is a weird direction for the conversation to take. You'd thought maybe it would go more along the lines of 'do you want to go home with me?'

"Doesn't matter."

"I guess I don't really want anything," you tell him with a frown. Gaz laughs.

"No, no that's not possible." You frown a little harder, not a fan of the way he says that. Like you're being childish by even implying you might be happy as you are. Your therapist is going to hear about this. You tug your wallet from your pocket and pull a few bills free, probably way overpaying when you toss them on the bar.

"It's been nice talking to you Gaz," you tell him, turning to leave. He says your name and shudder runs through you, like someone walked over your grave.

"Stay," he orders you like a dog, and you can't disobey. He turns your face with gentle fingers, so he can look in your eyes again. "Now," he raises his other hand and touches his finger to your forehead, "tell me what you really want."

Your brows furrow, your mouth opening to say something, you don't really know what. For so long all you've wanted was to be happy, and by God you put the work into it. You pulled yourself out of the pit, you dragged your ass to therapy, you did the stupid exercises, you are finally happy. What more could you want?

Gaz stares at you, watches your brows, your softly parted lips, your eyes searching his like he could find the answer for you. You say nothing. He taps you again, digs a little deeper. Your eyes go glassy, you say nothing. He goes to tap you again and something clicks into place, some internal defense forces words from your mouth to keep him out of the depths.

"I guess," you drawl, "it might be fun to fall in love." He blinks, waits for a hook to catch. Nothing. Jesus Christ what the actual fuck is wrong with you? Or right with you, he supposes.

"Give me your number," he tells you, handing you his phone.

"Kay," you sound so sweet, soft for him while you type your number into his phone. You hand it back, your contact name has a little heart next to it. Cute.

"Go on doll, back to your friends," he nods towards the dance floor. You nod and start to walk away from him. He can feel his influence loosening the further you get, the more people surround you, but that's just fine. You'll be hearing from him soon. Everyone wants something, he'll figure it out sooner or later.

#fae!Gaz #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick x you #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick x oc #lets all pretend that we are happy people for a while #this is another darling that i've been holding onto because i didnt know how to write their meeting #turns out i just gotta find the right musical score for Gaz and his darlings #this is brought to you by:#lust for vampyre by I Monster

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mads-weasley · 2 years

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Let Me Help You

Luke Morrow x Wife!Reader

A/N: I looooved this movie, so I had to write a fic for Luke! In this fic, the reader is his real wife (no fake marriage thing)! Enjoy!

Summary: When Luke gets home after a long day, a scary situation leads to the couple having a heart to heart.

Warnings: none!

(y/e/c) - your eye color

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Luke woke at the repetitive sound of the alarm clock beside him that read 7:00am. Running a hand down his face, he silently peeled back the covers and grabbed his brace from the side of the bed. He worried about the sound from the velcro straps waking you up, but little did he know that you were already awake, a headache waking you up at 5 that morning.

With a suppressed grunt, he stood up and reached for his cane, slowly walking towards the bathroom. He got ready in silence before walking back into their bedroom.

"I love you, baby. I'll see you later," he whispered, leaning down and kissing her temple.

(Y/n) rolled over to face him, smiling softly. "I love you, too. Have fun working out. Don't overdo it."

Mirroring her smile, he nodded and said another 'I love you' as he closed the door behind him. The second the door shut, (y/n) sunk back into the pillows, sighing as she messaged her temples. At that moment, she knew that day would be a long one.

The drive home wasn't short enough for (y/n) after her miserable day at work. Since that morning, her migraine had only worsened, slowly becoming debilitating as the day went on. She probably had checked her watch over a hundred times before her shift was over.

As she walked through the door, she was attacked by Peaches, the golden retriever's barks increasing the ever-present pounding in her head.

"Hey, girl," (y/n) cooed quietly, scratching behind Peaches' ear lovingly. "I've missed you."

After popping a few ibuprofen...or five, she went through the cabinets in search of ingredients to use for dinner, even though she felt nauseous herself. She knew when Luke came come that he would be starving after a day of physical therapy and his own training to get back in shape.

Even though she felt like she could fall over any second, she continued her search. Deciding on chicken alfredo penne, she started the noodles and began making the sauce when the shrill ringing of her phone pierced her ears.

White hot pain filled her vision and she shut her eyes tightly as she answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Hey, (y/n/n). I just wanted to let you know that I'm on my way home."

Her headache seemed to dull slightly at the sound of her husband's voice. "Okay. I'm making dinner right now, but I'll see you in a few. Love you."

Luke moaned quietly at the thought of food. "That sounds amazing. I love you, too. Bye."

A few minutes had passed when Luke's keys jangled in the door. (Y/n) was too focused on the pan in front of her and simply staying upright that she didn't hear him call out to her. She gasped slightly when he wrapped his arms around her stomach, resting his chin on her head.

Leaning down, he kissed her temple. "Hey, sweetheart. I missed you today."

(Y/n) turned around in his arms, thankful that he was there to ground her. The second he saw the dark circles under her eyes and the pale complexion that covered her normally vibrant face, he knew something was wrong. With furrowed brows, he cupped eyes her cheeks and looked deeply into her eyes. In her (y/e/c) irises, he saw complete exhaustion and something else behind them that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, rubbing her hair gently.

(Y/n) nodded, willing her eyes to stay open after another wave of nausea hit her. "Yeah, I'm fine," she whispered. "I'm just tired."

Although he was unconvinced at her feeble attempt to convince him, he didn't push her. "Alright. How about I finish off dinner? You go lay down, babe."

"You shouldn't be standing up for long periods, Luke."

Luke shook his head. "I'll be fine. Go," he whispered.

(Y/n) pecked his cheek, bending down to pet Peaches. "Your daddy is just the best husband ever, isn't he, Peaches?"

Luke's laugh seemed to ease some of the tension in her head, but when she stood up, the world started to sway under her feet. Darkness danced around her vision as she tried to stay upright. Just before she succumbed to unconsciousness, she was able to breathlessly call out.

"Help," she muttered, causing Luke to whip around just in time to see her limp body falling to the floor.

His heart stopped beating. "(Y/n)!"

Reaching out for her, he cursed when he couldn't get there in time because of his leg. She landed with a thud on their hardwood floors, and he was thankful that her head didn't hit hard. Luke quickly slid down next to her, ignoring the pain in his leg and pulling her to sit up against his chest.

"(Y/n)!" he cried, rubbing her cheeks. "Baby, wake up. Come on!"

His eyes began to burn as he held back tears at (y/n)'s unconscious form in his arms. "Please wake up. Please."

A few moments later, her eyes fluttered open, and Luke let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He quickly wiped a tear that leaked out of his eye before she could see it.

Looking around them in confusion, she asks, "What happened?"

"Y-You passed out, (y/n/n). How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy," she responds, holding her head in her hands.

Luke scans her face. "What's really going on?"

With a sigh, she closed her eyes. "My migraines are back."

"(Y/n), why didn't you tell me?" he asks quietly, pulling her close to cradle her head on his chest.

"I just didn't think it was important," she answered, looking at the floor.

"It is important."

"Well, you're in so much pain from your leg and I just have a stupid headache."

Gently moving so he could face her, he put a finger under her chin to lift it. "(y/n)," he started, not breaking eye contact. "You are everything to me. Don't ever compare your pain to mine. Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean you have to always be okay. Remember what you always tell me?"

She nodded.

"It's okay to let people help you. To let me help you. So let me take care of you, please."

Sighing, she nodded before pecking his lips softly. "I love you, Luke."

"I love you, too, (y/n). Now let's get you to bed." He whispered, helping her up. "I would carry you if I could."

She weakly smiled at him, leaning on him for stability as he led her to their bedroom. "I know, commando. I know."

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joesalw · 4 months

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Ok, that's gonna be long one.

One jet is around $50 million. She has two. And now she had the ig tracking account taken down claiming that's an invasion of privacy. Very interesting considering the account existed for a few years and she didn't have any problems with it and now suddenly she gets called out for abusing the environment it's become invasive. The lady is shady. And the fact that her answer about not going to therapy is 'i feel very sane'. Oof. She's republican raised for sure. Those people think that any mental health issue equals clinical insanity and if you're seeing a therapist there must be something wrong with you.

She's jumping from one relationship to another and doesn't even know who she is. She just molds into whatever her man wants or what looks best for the image. She doesn't know how to exist on her own. For someone who presents herself as a 'girlboss' she sure doesn't have a sense of self-worth and always has to have a man next to her. No matter how bigoted he may be. She's not getting any younger so she's getting desperate and that's probably why she's unleashing on Joe. If she wants a kid, she doesn't have much time left so she latches on to every man throwing themselves at her in hopes of a happily ever after. It doesn't work like that. Fix yourself first then move on to look for someone to build a life and future with. There's no way any sane grown man would want a self-sabotaging, fight-picking, obsessive overgrown teenager with no sense of boundaries to even marry let alone have a child with. She doesn't know where her public life ends and private one begins.

I'm sure Joe saw all of that and dipped. It's not good to bring a child in that environment. And if they'd ever had one, she'd go on with her life and he'd be a house husband. I've never seen TS as maternal, nurturing or even mature enough to have a child because she seems not to have the capacity to take care of herself. In 2016 Joe was the one who took care of her and 'saved her'. It wasn't her own doing. And when he left, she started spiraling again. She portrayed herself as a mature grown woman in her 2020 albums and that turned out to be a farce. She's still that same insecure 16 year-old but richer, more influential and famous. Her recent interviews are a solid proof of that.

Her music is also nothing special. Some generic pop with repetitive and recycled melodies. She's not a vocalist, not a dancer, doesn't have a superb instrument skill, there's barely any emotion in every song she sings. Her lyrical topics are the same and don't hold any though provoking themes. She uses nonsensical metaphors and uncommonly used words to make her lyrics look better and herself seem smarter. It doesn't change the point of the song though. Argumentative antithetical dream girl is just a glamorous way of saying manic. Machiavellian is a way of saying manipulative, being morally indifferent and self-serving, lacking empathy. Sure does sound nice, huh? "I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian (manipulative, selfish, deceptive, cunning. call it whatever you want) 'cause I care". Machiavellianism in psychology is described as one of the traits in the Dark triad model. Right along narcissism and psychopathy. Mastermind is masterminding out in the open and no one bats an eye. The psychologists that named the trait after Niccolo Machiavelli said that one of the core features is lack of concern for conventional morality (they aren't concerned about the morality of lying and cheating). If you're into psychology Richard Christie and Florence L. Geis (the ones that named the trait) have a book "Studies in Machiavellianism" which is a pretty good and insightful read.

(just my assumption) I'm sure Joe dropped that word on her and she was like 'ooh, sounds nice and Machiavelli was like very political, a bit controversial and cool and people refer to him a lot, I'll definitely be using that in a song'. lmao. little did she know. I think she thought he meant it in a political sense and not a psychological one. Which are totally different things. And I'm sure he was like 'lol, she thought'.

There're a ton of celebrities bringing her up on talk-shows as well. At least once a week there's a bit on some show about a certain celeb's interaction with her. As someone who enjoys learning english trough media that's quite disturbing. I see her everywhere, TV shows, news articles, social media outlets. She's becoming inescapable. And that makes me wonder about the proportion of celebrities and journalists who genuinely like her and the ones who bring her up to get more attention. God forbid you say anything negative about her. Her Karen army will immediately send death threats your way, make fun of every aspect of your life or even dox you. And with her silence she's enabling this behaviour because she's a self-proclaimed Machiavellian (whether she chose a psychological meaning for the song or not) and doesn't care what her minions do as long as she doesn't get called out for it.

She only allows non-critical journalists to interview her. I mean, what kind of self-suck is that? An interview should be a form of discussion and not an ass kissing session. Any negative article about her will have your whole outlet blacklisted from interacting with her and her team. She needs to be in full control of the narrative all the damn time because she knows that once she lets go of the rein all of the skeletons in her closet will fall out on their own.

She's digging her own grave and I'm here for it. Last time she could make Kim and Kanye the villains and this time she'll have no one to blame but herself. Her narcissistic flat ass would make Tree the scapegoat if there's no one else she could point her finger to. It's always someone else's fault but hers. A chronic victim of this cruel patriarchal world.

I have studied psychology briefly and have learned about the dark triad and machiavellianism. What's surprising to me is that high mach people can gain advantage in the short run but ultimately lose their power in the long run because people start seeing through their surface level acting, which is what we're seeing through her behaviour right now. She acts to be an activist only when it benefits her. But swifties have so much obsession with her that even if they find it disturbing, they will try to justify it. Also idk how Taylor flexes about her machiavellianism, like to me that's not something to be proud of, the ends do not justify the means when you hurt so many people in the process. The fact that she's accepting she's cunning, manipulative, deceptive and lies to get things according to her own interest tells a lot about who she is as a person! no wonder why Joe didn’t want to marry her. Her machiavellianism trait only benefitted her in the short run

#anti taylor swift #joe alwyn #swifties dni

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naamahdarling · 4 months

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I'm creating a Eldritch horror story and I'm trying to base it off my own fears. Following that same logic, what kind of cosmic horror would you make?

I was raised with Lovecraft stories (paraphrased at first) as bedtime stories, so I sort of have eldritch/cosmic horror in my blood. I really really really love it.

The Magnus Archives hit it so far out of the park that any sort of eldritch powers fiction I create after this is now going to have to reckon with its presence in the genre. I...do not feel I personally have anything to add to that specific sort of angle after what they produced. Genuinely. Which doesn't mean I won't create, just that I'm aware that whatever I do isn't going to expand or encapsulate the genre the way TMA did.

I really like anthology horror in general, where related works are grouped by a theme, and the whole "witness statements" format that was a prominent part of TMA (and plenty of others) is VERY appealing to me as a fan of real-world weird occurrences, creepypasta, and personal stories of paranormal events, so the sort of thing I would be most likely to create would be a series of accounts or events relating to the same horrible subject.

I have decided that doing it as Magnus Archives fsnfiction would work just fine. Zero of the same characters showing up. Just witness statements. I actually have several written but I want to finish out the suite of Fears with one for each.

The other thing that really appeals to me is the idea that the monstrous and eldritch can be welcome, especially the influence of it on our bodies, but also in terms of the power that being truly feared gives uz. That the terrible chsnges that happen to you can be, somehow, revelatory and identity-affirming. That's a very trans/disabled/etc. theme.

What about the existential horror you would feel as you become LESS monstrous? That the thing that sets you apart and maybe hurts you but also makes you very powerful is suddenly leaving you. Now you are becoming just like the people that your pride in your monstrousness was intended to spite. How, then, can we be monstrous, be OURSELVES, when no-one can see our monstrousness? When we no longer have access to the Secrets and the Horrors and the Powers and the Knowledge, when that which is Other and Unknowable and Terrifying has left us, what do we do?

What if what most would consider "healing" actually destroyed something in the core of us? What if you grew back a wounded part of yourself and it grew back wrong" is an idea mined often enough in cosmic horror to be recognizable. What if growing back "wrong" meant growing back "normal?"

So I would very much enjoy writing a story where the angle was not "healing is scary to those who have been harmed, but it is ultimately for the best UwU" but "being forced to change to align with what others think is good and healthy until you AGREE WITH THEM is the REAL horror." Something I think most queer/trans people and most disabled people will instinctively grasp.

But I would like to extend that to specifically survivors of trauma, who can feel the sickening pressure of being told at every turn that their role now is to work to "get over" and "recover" from something the world did to them when others' definition of "recovery" (a return to normal, or the ability to re-engage with what traumatized them) can feel immediately, viscerally wrong. A denial of the injured state of the self, a shifting of the responsibility onto the traumatized person and away from external change and justice and restoration. A huge force you don't understand trying to change you or warping things around you? That's cosmic horror, baby. The force trying to change you is just "We need you to stop being different now." And you don't understand why you should want to.

I'm wrestling with this right now in therapy and getting almost nowhere by the standards by which most people define "recovery" because I refuse to see why on earth I should be the one to change or why my hate/anger is a problem I should solve to make things easier in the future for the same kind of people who hurt me.

At my core what I most want is for them to be absolutely terrified of me.

So there's a lot to work with there.

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muddyorbsblr · 1 year

Text

secret notes part 8: send me the moon

Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: It's your final live show as The Lonely Avenger and the whole team is there to finally see the one behind the voice. Including Loki.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: 2 curse words; other than that, nothing…this is a fluffy story with a fluffy ending [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: the last scene's a little hot…like 0.5/5 spicy

"Could you two drop me off near Groove instead of at the Tower?" you asked Clint as you were on your way back to New York, the mission going off without much complication, or bloodshed. You left those guards still breathing, after all, so really there were no casualties on this mission, and as far as you were concerned, that was an absolute win.

"Does this have something to do with the invite that was forwarded to me while you were in their base?" he asked you, a smirk playing on his face. "You wanna get the jump on everyone else, finding out who Laufeyson's bird is before we even get there? Vet the girl, make sure that she's good enough for Mr Horns?"

"Not exactly," you answered with a smirk of your own. "More like I have to do sound checks. For my live show." That made him slam his hand on the Autopilot button and stare at you with eyes as wide as saucers, making Natasha laugh from her co-pilot seat. "Surprise, Hawkeye. It's me. I'm the bird. Caw caw."

"How did I not see that coming?" He eyed Natasha, who you had no doubt was smirking and snickering to herself. "I'm assuming you already knew about this, Tasha?"

"I've known for months," she said casually. "Wanda and I watched her first live show. Morgan knows, too."

"Hold on how'd you get Morgan to not tell Tony?!" You mumbled Natasha's promise to the tiny Stark that kept her from spilling your secret. "Sorry, birdy, what was that?"

"Nat promised her that she'd be the flower girl at the wedding," you enunciated every syllable, making him chuckle. "Oh, and by the way. Thor knows, too." She turned her now wide eyed gaze towards you. "He baited me with a singing meme and I was caught off guard. I suppose by now he knows that I intend to tell everyone anyway so I'm trusting that he's keeping his mouth shut around Mischief."

"Aww, babes, it's really happening, huh?" She grabbed your hand and lightly swung it. "It's like the end of an era."

"Yeah. By the end of the day there'll be egg on my face because Loki's finally gonna know how stupid in love I am with him, and that's it. That's the end of me."

"At the risk of you stabbing me, Y/N, I gotta say it. I think you're an idiot if you actually believe that things would end badly if Horns knows how you feel about him. I saw you two before you boarded the Quinjet; that's a man in love. God. That's a god in love. Whatever happens in the live show, I'd put money on all this ending with you singing a whole new set of notes in his apartment that none of us ever want to hear. I don't think even Tony has the money to cover the therapy we'd need if we hear that."

You smacked him upside the back of his head. "Dork." He gave you a shrug as if to say eh, you're not wrong, which made you chuckle. "Just drop me off near Groove, please." You placed a hand on Nat's shoulder. "And please make sure that he actually goes to the live show? If I'm going to rip off a bandaid, I'd prefer to rip it all the way off in one move."

"I'll have Thor drag him out if I have to," she promised, placing her hand over yours. "Don't look so nervous, babes. Everything's gonna be fine. More than fine." She tilted her head to address Clint. "We should probably all stay out of the tower for a few hours once they exit the bar. You know, so we don't have to charge Stark's account for therapy."

By the time that Natasha and Clint returned to the Tower, the team was already buzzing with bets on who it could be, most of them already gathered around the common area clearly dressed for a party. The Russian spy made a beeline for Wanda, looking like a Christmas ornament in her sparkly red dress.

"Anyone on to our girl?" she whispered to the sorceress.

"Just Thor…he's been hinting at it since Tony found the invite."

"That's because Thor knows. Baited Y/N with a meme the morning before we left. Anyone else?"

"I think Rhodey knows, too. But he's been suspicious since before the first live show, so I can't be too sure. You two should go get changed, we're just waiting for--"

"Ah, there he is! Brother! Are you excited to finally know the identity of your lark?"

Natasha looked at the stairs, her eyes widening once she'd seen the effort that Loki put into his look for your show, wearing a form-fitting dress shirt set in his "old faithful" shade of green tucked into tight slacks that had her questioning if he would be able to even sit down without ripping open a seam, and a pair of black Oxfords. It was obvious that he spent a considerable amount of time on his hair, too, styled in a half bun that had a few loose tendrils framing his face, trying to look effortless but anyone who knew how much effort that really took knew that he spent at least 20 minutes trying to get that down right, even with his magic.

He looked over to where she and Clint were standing, his gaze searching for someone clearly absent. "Where's Y/N?"

Natasha defaulted to her classic excuse for you. "Had to run an errand." He nodded at the answer, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. "Said she'll meet us at Groove instead."

Another twenty minutes later and they were on their way to the bar, already filled to the brim with people buzzing about your identity as the unmistakable sound of your voice overflowed out of the bar and well into the queue of people hoping to be let inside.

Once Natasha and Wanda walked up to the door, the guards let them through, along with the rest of the team, and they were all escorted toward the front of the stage, where they waved at the sight of you on stage, wearing an off-shoulder little black dress that fell just short of mid-thigh and strappy gold heels.

"WOOOO LET'S GO Y/N!!" Sam shouted as he made his way through the crowd, making you chuckle in the middle of your song. "That's my friend right there!" he hollered as he clapped his hands, causing the rest of the crowd to clap along with him.

"I'll wait for the day when we finally say now or never Until then I'll be here wanting more as I settle for atmosphere"

As you began the final chorus of Send Me the Moon by Sara Bareilles, you noticed that nearly all of the team already sat in the area you had reserved for them, noting some of them trying to covertly pass around the money that they lost when they were placing bets on your identity all those months ago.

Surprisingly, the money was split between Sam and Bucky.

You shook your head slightly at their antics and returned your focus to the rest of the crowd, your roaming gaze stopping short at the sight of Loki two feet away from the stage, looking up at you with such a venerational relief in his eyes it nearly made your knees buckle.

As you finished the song, and you took in the applause, and the standing ovation from your team along with the wolf whistles from your girl friends, a smile began to grace his features as he mouthed, "It's you."

You could feel a tugging at your heart, as if your world was about to crumble, but you no longer cared. Whatever happened, even if everything were to fall apart at your feet today, you'd be fine. You'd rebuild from whatever you had left. Your experiment was done, the resolution from the beginning of the year a hilarious failure. And yet, you knew in your heart that you could recover from this.

It was that resolve that had you returning his smile with one of your own, a bit more somber, as if you'd come to make peace with an impending loss. "It's me," you mouthed back.

As the applause faded, you looked into the audience once more and spoke into the mic. "Hi. I'm Y/N Y/L/N. And this will be the last song I sing as The Lonely Avenger."

"What's gonna happen to your channel?" Sam's voice boomed from the crowd.

You shrugged in your team's direction. "I suppose I'm just gonna change it to my name. Can't exactly be anonymous anymore," you answered with a chuckle. "Maybe I'll do some drunk challenges with Nat and Wanda."

"THAT'S OUR GIRL!!" Wanda chirped up from her seat, making you giggle at her enthusiasm.

"Anyways…" You raised your iced tea perched on a stool nearby toward the crowd. "To The Lonely Avenger."

Most of the crowd raised their glasses and repeated your sentiment. You heard Tony shout "to jellybean", while the rest of the team shouted "to Y/N". What had you confused was Thor's sentiment, as his distinct voice rang louder than the buzzing of the audience. "To my sister."

You turned your gaze to the band and they began to play out your final song: "Tell Me" by He Is We.

"Take a video, Wan. We'll wanna go back to this moment one day," Natasha instructed the sorceress. She quickly took out her phone and began recording you singing your final song as the anonymous Lonely Avenger, switching the camera's focus back and forth between you on the mic and Loki's reactions to your performance.

"Eyes can only see so far Tired of wishing on Northern Stars So I close my eyes and pray Nothing comes to mind so I let my heart say Tell me don't give up…"

As you finished the song, Wanda made a motion to turn off the video but Nat's whispered "not yet" made her keep recording, and she watched with wide eyes and a slacked jaw as Loki walked up to the stage, his hand outstretched up toward you.

"Take his hand, babes!" Nat hollered, cheering as you walked over to the edge of the stage, placing your hand in his. She and Wanda where all out squealing the second her brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles.

"For fuck's sake, Bambi, kiss her!" Tony spoke through cupped hands.

Thor started clapping thunderously as you placed your hands on Loki's shoulders and he placed his hands on your hips and lifted you from the stage, setting you back down in front of him. On a whim, Wanda used her magic to point the mic toward you.

"My lark. My Y/N." Wanda held back her squeals as he brought his hands up to frame your face. "My love."

The whole bar erupted into cheers as he leaned down and laid his lips on yours, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close to him and causing you to place your arms on his shoulders.

"Ladies and gentlemen, The Lonely Avenger!!" a new voice announced as a man walked up the stage, encouraging a fresh round of applause from the crowd. "I for one am glad to see this turn of events. Who isn't a sucker for a good happy beginning?"

A murmured voice escorting you backstage to the green room was heard through the speakers, giving Wanda the cue to stop recording. Although she immediately regretted turning the camera off once she saw the unmistakably mischievous grin on the god's face as he wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted you off your feet, walking you both towards the aforementioned room with a little twirl of your dress.

"Dammit this means I owe Morgan a hundred bucks," Tony muttered, making the sorceress turn an incredulous gaze toward him.

"Tony, Morgan knows," Natasha told him, making the billionaire's eyes widen in pure disbelief. "Since before Y/N's first show. She's the one who told Wanda."

"Duped by my own daughter," he muttered. "Is it weird that I'm proud of her?" The team shook their heads as he turned to look at the blonde Asgardian. "And why did you forfeit, Point Break? You would've won."

"I found out before Lady Y/N left for her mission with the assassins."

"WHAT?!" the remainder of the team all but yelled in unison, proceeding to ask the god about the hows of it all.

The moment the door to the green room closed, Loki cradled your head with one hand and had your body trapped between him and the door, his other hand now resting on your side, thumb gently stroking your stomach. "My darling," he said softly, the brilliant smile on his face never fading as he leaned in and pressed his lips to your exposed neck.

He proceeded to trail his lips down to the base of your throat and across your collarbone, humming a sound of contentment against your skin as he kept on murmuring your name between kisses. Your breathing became erratic as you gasped for air, your heaving chest pressing your skin even more against his lips.

You let out a hybrid between a squeak and a moan as he placed his hands on the back of your thighs, adjusting his hold on you and making you wrap your legs around him, giving you a flashback to earlier this year when he did the exact same motion to help you reach your mug at the top shelf. He trailed his kisses up to your lips once more, claiming your mouth with his at a languid, decadent pace. As if you had all the time in the world. You couldn't help but to sigh against him, allowing yourself for just a moment to be content with what was happening.

"I love you," he mumbled against your lips, pressing one more tender kiss upon them before pulling away, his grin one of obvious repletion, before spotting the look of consternation on your face and his expression quickly faded into one of concern. "What's wrong, dear heart?"

"Do…do you love me or…"

"Oh, my darling mortal," he whispered as he cupped your face and pressed a frantic kiss to your lips. "I love you, Y/N. I've loved you long before you first sang under that moniker. Long before Stark's party." He pressed his lips against yours once more and you could feel your body physically weaken the moment both felt and heard him moan against your mouth. "I will tell you in the plainest words I can find, my love. I am maddeningly in love with you, Y/N. And I wish for you to be mine."

"I'm yours," you said in a breathy exhale, unable to breathe as you felt his lips latch on to a particularly sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder and proceeded to lightly suck on the skin. "I've--fuck--I've always been yours." He had you arching into his kiss once his lips moved lower, playing at the neckline of your dress, just above your heart. "Please…please, Loki, I need--"

"I know, my darling," he cut you off, pressing his body harder against yours, muffling your moans with another kiss to your lips. "I know. But I do not wish for our first time together to be in the back room of a bar. You deserve more than that." He once again peppered kisses up the column of your neck. "You deserve to be worshipped. Savored. For hours. Days, even." Your breath hitched at the very thought of being at his mercy for hours, let alone days. "Just say the words, my love. Say them and I will make it so. You would be mine to do with as I please, and I yours."

He pulled away from you with a final kiss to your jaw, making you arch toward him again, silently begging him to resume his attentions. He didn't. Instead he simply stroked your cheek with his thumb, causing you to lean in to his touch.

"I won't kiss you again until you say them, darling," he teased. "So say them and allow us both our rapture."

"I love you," you all but shouted, the evident desperation in your voice making him bite his lip as he smirked at you. You took a breath, trying to calm yourself. "I love you, Loki." He smiled, leaning in until your lips were barely touching. "Make me yours."

"With pleasure, my darling Y/N," he said with a soft kiss to your lips. "You must know, my love. You've never been alone. You have me. You've always had me." His next kiss felt like a promise, as if he was casting a spell that sealed your fates together in that single kiss. "Shall we?"

"Just lemme get my things," you said breathlessly. With a wave of his hand, your bag disappeared from the table in a flash of green. "We should at least tell the team we're leaving."

"I believe they're aware. Or they should have surmised by now that we do not intend to return to their company for a while," he answered with a smirk. "I'm sure by now my brother's told the staff that we've most likely disappeared from this room and it's safe to enter once more, so I believe our next move is to do precisely that."

"You have to put me down, you know," you said with a giggle. "You can't just lug me around like a weird captive koala."

"I won't lug you around anywhere like a small furry animal. I intend to hold the woman I love in my arms; I will put you down only once there is a bed in our vicinity. Not a moment sooner." He pulled your body closer to his, securing his hold on you before pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. "Close your eyes, my love," he whispered in your ear. You did exactly that.

When he told you to open them you were no longer in the green room; rather you were in an opulent bedroom with a central motif of marble and a faded shade of gold. Looking at the view from the balcony you could tell that you were still within New York, but this was definitely not the Tower. "Mischief? Where are we?" You looked at his face and your breath hitched at the simpering look on his face.

"I took the liberty of acquiring us some accommodations for the week." The week? Your breathing thinned as he walked over to the bed, gently laying you down upon it. "Did you truly think I would bring you back to my chambers? Where my brother could so easily barge in like the brutish oaf he often is? That I would have my fill of you after one night?" He kissed his way down to your clothed stomach, before lightly grasping one of your legs and pressing a searing kiss to the back of your knee. "My darling, if you did, you've sorely underestimated how desperately I have longed for you."

You had no words left in you except, "A week?"

"Only because that is all I could manage without starting a war with our dear Captain over monopolizing your time, and leaving our team short of two resources at once," he answered you simply. "So, my lark…" He kissed the back of your knee once more before slowly crawling up your body. "My darling Y/N…" He kissed the exposed skin of your chest, just above your heart. "My love…" He captured your lips in a slow, sensual kiss that left you breathless. "Shall we begin?"

A/N: I can't believe the series is already over, but that's it. That's the end of the main story of 'secret notes'! I hope y'all enjoyed going on this ride with me and in true 'me' fashion, this isn't really the end. Outtakes will come…I don't know when but I know they are happening.

But more importantly…it means that I have my schedule all clear for the collab series I've been talking about, and I can finally reveal that my fellow writer for this is none other than @mochie85!!

Taglist:

Everything: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

Loki: @calumance @severuslovebot

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfiction #muddyorbs writes

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

Note

AITA for not wanting to interact with my mom all that often?

for context, my mom tends to act in ways that are often a little manipulative and dependent - she's had a rough life, so i can understand some of her actions, but in some ways she scares me a bit. when i was growing up, she'd often talk about how she wished i was the grownup and she was my daughter, sometimes asking to roleplay a bit. she's trauma-dumped quite a bit on me as well, leading me to play therapist. (when i brought up actually therapy once, she said, word for word, "why have a therapist when I have you?") in more recent years, she's asked for us to sleep in the same bed, and sometimes continues to ask even though i give her a hard no because it makes me uncomfortable.

in all honesty, she's not a bad person, and she's worked really hard for my sake, but she also doesn't have a lot of meaningful connections - her friends are more work colleagues and she's not close to my dad at all. and I'm honestly not the nicest to her - i really don't like to talk her, which I've made clear in a pretty harsh way, and we get into arguments a lot. but she also tends to be petty and immature; whenever i say im not in the mood to talk to her, she claims that i dont really care about her and that i have to listen to her because she's my mom. whenever i try to raise a concern i have with her, she often spins it in a way that makes her the victim and me the disobient child, and when she doesn't, she just doesn't listen.

there's also the whole ordeal where she kind of outed me to my (Very queerphobic) dad - i was able deny enough that the whole thing calmed down, but she never really tried to understand why she was wrong. she never really made an attempt to understand how much trust i put in her when i came out - about two years after, i 'took it back', in a way, telling her that she didnt have to use they/them at all. at that point she revealed that she thought it was some kind of phase that she never took seriously. it was like this in the past, too - she still pesters me about what i said when i was 9 and styling myself as a 'tomboy' - which was 'coming back to her when i was a teenager' which i never really did.

the gist of it is that she views me in a idealistic way that centers mostly around herself and her ideals for me - she doesn't let me cut my hair too short and always pesters about wearing dresses, and she still thinks that i can act as her therapist despite me telling her, multiple times, that i was not equipped to handle her problems. but i always feel really guilty whenever i end up rejecting her, since she doesnt have many people to turn to. AITA for constantly rejecting interaction with her?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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melminli · 10 months

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Sorry, Not Really Though

pairing - some avengers x female reader

summery - when they go low, you go lower.

"I can't believe how reckless and irresponsible you were earlier!" a voice yelled across the hall.

You rolled your eyes just slightly as you walked into the living room. "Bucky, can you tell your boyfriend to kindly fuck off." You asked him as you sat down on the sofa.

He raised an eyebrow. "The mission didn't go well?" he asked.

Before you could answer that it was a success and Steve was just a pain in the ass, you were interrupted by him just as he was walking past the room. "Don't you dare say the mission was a success, that's not what this is about. You didnt follow orders." He quickly interjected before walking away.

You turned your head at the door and yelled after him. "Of course that's what this is about! It's always about that, why wouldn't it be about that?!" You asked him because he was being an ass for no reason and you were starting to lose what little patience you had. Actually, you did quite a while ago because this guy was bitching since the way back.

The mission was in Siberia. It was a long way back.

"Well." Started Tony. "You have to listen to the mission leader, even if you disagree with them and think they are in the wrong." He spoke from his own experience.

You looked at him with your eyes wide open. You knew that somehow and probably somewhere he was in the right, after all you were not stupid. However, you were in an emotional state and unable to take criticism in an adult manner especially when it reeked of hypocrisy. "Oh, I'm sorry?" You started in a sarcastic tone. "But I don't take advice from privileged men." You continued, pausing there for a moment before finishing your sentence. "Who acquired simple morals only after being kidnapped by terrorists and feeling what it's like to be on the other end of the weapons they themselves produce. Because yes, bombs actually do kill people."

Silence followed.

Tony points to himself. "Is she talking about me? I feel like she's talking about me." He uttered before taking a breath, because to be honest that was a bit hard to take in.

You shook your head. "I'm sorry. I crossed a line." You admitted while trying to stop yourself from saying the following, which you failed to do. "By telling the truth, because to be honest I didn't think it would sound that harsh. I guess I've just never said it out loud..."

The billionaire clapped his hands. "Okay that's enough. You killed me, I'm dead, gone." Tony stood up and made his way towards his own room, but stopped to point his index finger at you. "My therapist will hear about this." He finished before he went out.

You watched as he moved away. "It's great that you're going to therapy Tony!" You looked at Bucky. "Was I too mean? I mean, I probably was, but at the end of the day it's Tony, so..."

Bucky shrugged. "I can't say anything against him. He'll always have the upper hand, since you know..."

"Since you killed his parents?" You asked him before you realized it. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I'll just keep my mouth shut now."

#avengers x reader #marvel #the avengers #x reader #funny prompts #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers #marvel mcu #female reader

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bradtomlovesya · 10 months

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Perfectly Wrong Pt. 2

Idiot! Peter Parker x Idiot! Reader

Summary: Peter tries to make up and get you back. Based on this request - HERE - / Part 1 here

Warnings: A bit Angst!, Fluff!, mentions of alcohol.

w/c: 1.7k+

a/n: I hope you like this one. I am very proud of how it turned out. Reblogs, likes and comments are much appreciated. SUPPORT AN AUTHOR BY SHARING THEIR WORK.

6 months. 6 months since you closed that door and didn't look back.

Peter tried to look for you the day after you left, but you told him to go away. You told him not to come looking for you again, especially if he hadn't dealt with his shit on his own.

At first Peter begged and pleaded, but when you told him "You're only hurting me more" he understood that you were right. He had been a piece of shit to you and "I'm sorry" without real change was just empty words.

It meant nothing. He had to get better, to suffer, to learn, to do better and, although you definitely didn't owe him anything, he hoped out of the goodness of your heart you'd still be willing to listen to him when all his shit got straightened out.

And that's why he waited 6 months. 6 months in which he really took the time to heal.

The first step was to go to therapy, which helped a lot. His psychologist advised him at a certain point to meet with his ex so they could talk about everything and, although at first it seemed like an idea straight out of a madman's confession book, a month ago it didn't seem like such a bad idea and that's why he found a way to contact her and they arranged to meet in a coffee shop.

To Peter's surprise, MJ remembered him, had told him that she had regained her memories some years ago but didn't feel it was right to go back to him after the years had passed. Besides, she wasn't the same person anymore and she was sure he wasn't either.

It was then that Peter, after hearing what MJ had to say, realized that even if he had sought her out and told her everything, things would never have been as they were before. People change, things change and you fit the new version of Peter. He was happy with you... Damn it! You were the only thing that kept him sane and he cursed himself for how he had treated you, how he had made you feel.

And so, without further ado, Parker was able to continue his healing process. The guilt of not having sought out MJ was gone, his vision was finally clear enough. After that he also came to the conclusion that alcohol was not a great ally, he had to moderate himself; maybe it was because he was a spider-man that he doesn’t tolerate much alcohol, it didn't matter too much why, all he knew was that he shouldn't test his luck by getting drunk again.

Six months later here he was, with a bouquet of peonies - your favourite flowers - standing in front of the entrance to block 2 of the university waiting for your English literature class to finish. Peter knew your timetable, had been studying it and had been watching you from a distance so as not to miss the little changes you were going through.

He knew you weren't happy, you always stared at the fountain where the two of you kissed for the first time wondering how it had all ended up that way. Parker had to control himself with all his strength more than once not to run and hug you, but not before fulfilling his promise to heal himself.

You didn't want that conversation to be the end of everything. You knew Peter had had a bad time but that didn't make him a bad person. He was just a wounded person who needed to heal and you really hoped that, when he did, he would come to you so that you could begin the process of reconciliation.

And maybe you should get on with your life, stick to how he treated you that last time and not go back to him, as your friends advised you to do. But they didn't know him like you did, they didn't know that during the whole year you were together Peter never raised his voice to you, not even when you did. He was the one who taught you what real, healthy love was, who had helped you grow in so many ways to become the person you were now.

Even if you looked like an idiot, you just wanted to go back to him even if he was an idiot too, so you could be idiots together.

When you walked out the door, you saw it. He was standing there wearing one of his plaid shirts - your favourite, by the way - and holding your favourite flowers. Your face immediately lit up - this was the moment you had been waiting for? It seemed that Peter was looking at you with the eyes of a lover and he had indeed taken the time to heal, you didn't know why or how but there was a glow, an aura, an air about him that told you so.

"Hello" He said almost breathlessly and in a faint whisper. He was afraid you would reject him.

"Hi" You replied with a small smile of amazement and disbelief. You were about to ask someone to pinch you in case this turned out to be a dream.

"I brought you these," he handed you the flowers and ran his hand through his hair, tousling it a little. He had let it grow out and you could see those little waves you liked so much.

"Thank you." You received them and sniffed. You loved their scent. "You look nice," you admitted.

"Thank you" he smiled and looked you in the eye. "Do you want to... Uh" he gulped. "Do you want to take a walk and talk to me?"

There was silence around you, the few people who had stopped to look had already left.

"Sure, why not?" You nodded and began to walk beside him at a quiet but steady pace.

"I like your new cut" he added with his hands in his pockets. "It suits you. "

"Really? It doesn't really suit me" you laughed and shrugged your shoulders.

"Honestly, everything looks good on you" He looked you in the eye and then looked straight ahead again as you blushed.

"I haven't heard from you in months, what have you done?" You changed the subject and got to the point. That was why he was here, wasn't it?

"Well I... I went to therapy, I'm still going" he nodded and walked looking at the floor. "I also talked to MJ, my ex from high school." You watched him closely, you were curious what he had to say. "I worked some things out, resolved some doubts" he sighed. "It was a long and gruelling process but I was finally able to move on, I really was."

"I'm glad for that." you said sincerely. "You had a lot of things to sort out.... That and alcohol were not a good combination." You paused for a moment and looked away. It was painful to think about that day.

"I didn't drink again either, one beer is enough." He stopped in front of you and took your hands gingerly. "I'm really sorry for everything I've put you through." The pain and tone in his voice assured you that he was being honest, he really was sorry. "Wait here," he indicated before running to a fast food cart and buying two hot dogs. "Hungry?" he asked as soon as he returned to you and handed you one of the hot dogs. "Just mustard for you."

Your heart went out to him, still remembering the little things about you. "Thank you. You took a bite and both of you walked on. "So it's all settled then?"

"Not everything." He denied. "There's still something I want to show you. Something you need to know." He inhaled deeply. "Would you mind going to my flat?"

"Now?" He nodded. "Oh yeah, okay." You nodded too.

You both walked to his flat while you ate and chatted about trivia. The silence wasn't awkward, that was characteristic of when you spent time together.

"After you." Peter said after opening the door.

You went in first and when he closed the door you followed him into his room. He instructed you to sit on the bed while he went into the bathroom and, when he came out, you just nodded with a smile.

"You don't look surprised." He said with a raised eyebrow.

"Why? Because you're Spiderman? I knew that." You laughed and stood up.

"What? How?" Peter asked, confused.

"You'd always disappear and then it would be on the news that Spider-man had saved someone, I found a suit while cleaning your flat once and there was no way a normal human being would lift the neighbour's truck because there was a cat under it." You shrugged. "I just connected the dots."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" He frowned.

"Because I thought when you were ready you'd tell me, I didn't want to pressure you." You looked him in the eye. "I'm smarter than I look."

Peter was heartbroken to hear you say that. That night, he implied that you were stupid and that his ex was smarter than you. How could he have hurt you so much? You, the person he loved most in the world.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." Tears appeared in his eyes. "What I said that night was horrible." He hugged you and collapsed into your arms. "You were right, you've always been right about everything." He clung to you. "I'm an idiot."

"Shh..." you murmured, stroking his hair. This was a new Peter. A Peter who had healed and now understood the magnitude of his mistakes. "I forgive you." you whispered softly and clung to him.

"I will be better, I will do better. I will love you better." He looked into your eyes and pressed his forehead to yours.

"I know." You smiled slightly. "We'll do it together."

Peter moved close enough to kiss your lips slowly, he wanted the kiss to show you how much he loved you, he regretted it and he had changed.

You both knew it would be a long process and a long road, but you would walk it bit by bit, together and always trying to be better.

|°|°|°|°|°|

Peter Parker Tags

@raajali3 @fangirling-galore @powerpuffluuvv @itszulli @hallecarey1 @xoxokiaraaxoxo @kaitieskidmore1 @lnmp89 @pure-a-tea @vixparker @Army24--7 @spiderydreams00 @my-name-duh @nani-2305 @Mochimms @ietss @prancerrparkerr @Lynnzilla3000 @hpsgirlrw @hollandweather

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland writing #spiderman #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland angst #peter parker #writes #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker au #peter parker x reader #tom holland peter parker #spiderman x reader #spiderman angst #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman fic

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wayfayrr · 10 months

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Honestly seeing how the chain is really having a bad time with the "nightmares" and seeing some have the bad end of going into reader's world would make reader lend more than meds to the chain and so maybe giving cuddles and babying them like what they did with sage when he first came to reader's world and now believing that because of the chain's trauma and them being varying degrees of losing strength and the fact they are in a new world they don't know and so causing them these bad nights which causes to harm reader's heart and so giving much more affection to that link against sages protests and when reader caves in with what sage wants he ends up having to share reader with that link in bed for a long night and a thing that brought this to my mind was what if the chain members who could turn into things like legend turning into a pink bunny for the first months could infact still turn into those things but as times goes on it doesn't happen as much and is harder for them to do those things like at first four could split but after the first two months in reader's world he can't anymore and the colors voices are much more quiet altho they are still there they just can't part and are more quiet than before and what I'm going with this is one night dink goes to haunt legend but sadly legend is in his bunny form and he screams (I heard bunnies can scream) which ends up waking everyone and they find this scares bunny in the house, reader feeling bad for the poor bunny try to feed it carrots to calm it and when it seems he's gunna eat the carrot he instead runs up on reader and which ends up taking Refuge in reader's arms while sage just stares down at legend aware of what's going on and not happy and so he tries to get the bunny out of reader's arms and which ends up with him getting bites by legend, this could be with a reader who doesn't know that legend and twilight are wolfie and the pink bunny or just reader who knows but is gunna take all the time they need before legend turns back from a cute pink bunny. And as sage tells about his arm hurting again and that it would be good for legend to go back to his bed but with reader notice how panicked legend is as he is shaking reader decides that legend would be on their left side and sage can cuddle in reader's right side when going back to bed and when reader is asleep sage and legend just stare at each other with hatred and annoyance with how they can't get reader for themselves for a second.

Just legend looking at sage and sage looking at him back like this while reader sleeps

OAKVNOSK SAGE AND LEG AS THOSE CATS THEY'RE GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER WHEN THEY GET THE CHANCE 😭😭😭 BUT FOR NOW THEY'VE JUST GOTTA GLARE AT EACH OTHER OVER READER WHO'S SLEEPING LIKE THERES NOTHING WRONG

And you're right the chain are absolutely struggling at this point AOSKNC It's lucky for them to have gotten more than a couple of hours of sleep in a night once Sage and the shadow have teamed up, OFC like you've mentioned it does backfire. If the links got desperate enough there'd just be cuddle piles every night. Making everyone pissed off at everyone else because that way no-one gets alone time with reader. Even reader is getting exhausted with how little alone time they have, what with how they're being watched even at work

At some point the nightmares would stop as dink realises that it's worse for them than if the chain didn't have the nightmares. He just starts messing with them in different ways. You ever put something down and then never been able to find it? It'd be small things like that that really make the links question their own sanity, and possibly distance reader from them as they get sent to therapy? Four most likely needing to be one of the first to see a professional after the colours start getting quieter, as I think due to the desperation of them all going quiet would possibly lead him to talking to himself trying to mimic each of them. That or he'd start to spiral due to losing such a big part of himself so abruptly. Wind again being the only one who's safe from this, or any link that respected Sage's boundaries with reader, Sky perhaps?

As for what you said with legend, I love the idea that they can still transform for a small while but maybe it's only into a pink rabbit for a week or so then the colour slowly fades to a standard rabbit before he can't even do that? he'd just look like the killer rabbit from holy grail for a bit OSMXOAKM also I realise you probably mean a high pitch scream but with that Idea I immediately went with him sounding like he would when he was human, just this human scream coming from a rabbit in the dead of night at like 3am 💀 OR IF WHEN HE BITES SAGE THAT'S HOW THEY FIND OUT HE'S WORKING WITH DINK - HE'D BLEED BLACK BLOOD!! 🖤 Which makes even more sense why leg would be so insistent after that, desperately trying to put any distance between him and reader, or at least that's how he justifies it to reader. whether they listen or not would depend on what you'd do of course. But either way a yandere is falling even deeper for reader.

#moss✦answers #househusband sage #link x reader #lu sage #yandere linked universe #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader

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bonkwosher · 1 year

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love the prompt list! what about 38 with benny blanc? 😇

A/N: Yes, of course! Thank you so much for requesting! I was going to do another Glass Onion inspired one but decided to not do another one like that for this one. I accidentally went too far & now it's all sad with a happy ending.

Prompt: 38. Craving their company after a stressful day

Contains: Angst, Benoit cries (AHHHHH), mention of a gun, near-death experience, short one shot

Pairing(s): Benoit Blanc x GN!Reader

Benoit got in his car & let out a huff. It wasn't really of anger, more like... letting go of a breath he didn't know he was holding. He almost died today. An officer was chasing the suspect in his direction. The yelling of the officer made him turn around, he was just looking at some bootprints with another officer. He was too late, the man hurdled into Benoit & caught him off guard. The man pulled Benoit in front of him & held a gun to his head. He froze as the man yelled at the surrounding officers & the next ten seconds felt like years as his mind raced to you. He thought he'd never see you again. A gunshot launched him out of his frozen state, he put his hand to his head where the gun had rested. He was fine. Benoit looked up to see an officer with his gun pointed out towards him, smoke emitting from it. He quickly turned to see the man behind him dead on the floor. Now he's here, alone in his car. A knock caught his attention, making him jump & turn to the side.

"I didn't mean to scare you, Blanc. Just wanted to check if you want a ride, you seem really shaken."

He did just have a gun pointed at him, not like the officer meant it so harshly. Benoit placed his hand on the wheel & forced a tight-lipped smile.

"I'm fine, officer. Thank you."

"Alright Blanc, I'm sorry all that happened. If you need any resources for therapy I'm sure our receptionist can set you up."

Benoit was bouncing his leg, desperate to get home, "I'll look into that, thank you, officer."

With that, the officer let him go & Benoit pulled out & onto the road. Despite being eager to get home he was very careful while driving. He had to make it home to you in one piece. He found himself checking the rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind him. Soon enough, you heard the sound of keys at the door before Benoit walked in.

"Hey, baby! I'm watching (favorite tv show) right now, come join me!" You spoke excitedly from your spot on the couch.

Benoit walked over to you & picked you up like it was nothing. You protested, claiming you didn't want to miss your show but he was quiet & didn't let go. He brought you to your shared room & laid you down on the bed before climbing in & laying on top of you, his head buried in your chest. He hugged your waist tightly & took a deep breath.

"Benoit, baby, what's wrong?"

That broke him, he started bawling his eyes out & his grip grew tighter. He told you everything that happened & you returned the tight hug, in pure disbelief of the words he told you. Benoit sits up, straddling your hips & crying like a baby, you sit up with him.

"& I-I- thought I'd never see you again. You were all I thought about & I just wanted you to hug me & say it would all be alright."

To say you'd never seen Benoit like this was an understatement. He was the one that helped others, wiped their tears & solved their problems. You were glad that he felt like he could be not okay around you & talk about his feelings. You brush your thumbs across his cheeks to wipe his face. His eyes were growing red & they snapped to look at you.

"I love you, Benoit. I'm so sorry that this all happened, I'm here to help however I can. Even if that is just cuddles & listening, I will do anything for you."

"Thank you, Y/N. You are my world."

The two of you cuddled & talked for hours. He felt safe in your arms & you in his. You turned on soft music & put on a bath for him (His favorite /j) & offered to leave him be to relax.

"No, Y/N- Please stay."

So you did. You didn't want to get in the bath so you pulled up a chair next to him & read a book aloud. He admitted that your voice was incredibly soothing in this moment. Benoit asked for a back massage after a while & you happily obliged, feeling a little bad when you felt how tense his back was. After the bath, you two finally headed to bed.

#benoit blanc x y/n #benoit blanc x you #benoit blanc #benoit #benoit blanc x reader #silly little gay detective #glass onion #knives out #netflix #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #detective #male reader #angst #one shot

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vtforpedro · 4 months

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long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.

#vtforpedro personal #vtforpedro medical #tw mental illness #tw medical #tw depressing stuff #tw pet loss #I always wish I have something better to write #gonna try to do everything in my power to make that happen next year

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paranoidpoltergeist · 2 years

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Starscream is genuinely such a tragic character because as much as he's just kinda crazy every iteration has something that just makes u feel so bad for him.

IDW Starscream is something I couldn't scrape the surface of if you gave me 107 days. G1 Starscream's is not only mainly just used for comic relief the poor guy, but he lost his partner who then turns around and in his eyes betrays him. I mean Skyfire had every right to go "what in the fuc" and dip but the fact he went with Starscream in the first place tells me that somewhere along the way something happened to make him go coocoo.

In prime he was seemingly manipulated into joining the Decepticons and then constantly talked down to. From my perspective it honestly just seemed like Starscream was after praise or recognition which he never gets, now if this is because Megatron's a dick or because of the dark energon idk. I mean he kept the Decepticons afloat the entire time Megatron was gone chasing what was by all accounts a myth and did more then we saw Megs do THE ENTIRE SERIES. He managed to kill an Autobot, we never actually see any casualties and they've got a steady flow of energon.

I mean even in RID his main goal was to just kill Megs and tbh if I'd been beat down over everything I did, even if it was wrong bc I personally thought it was the right way to go about it, I'd be majorly pissed too. Yeah he wants control of the Decepticons but(and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong it's been a very long time since I've watched prime) I only remember him actually attempting to kill Megatron once or twice. Sure he was self serving but just bc he wants respect.

Bayverse Starscream was just the saddest thing I've ever seen. He could breathe and Megatron was drop kicking him off a building, didn't even get to be the treacherous sic jeez💀

Dude the WFC Trilogy was so wild idek how to word it so kind of a take on his character as a whole here. It was weird and characterizations were way off but I actually liked Starscream. He was still the guy we know and love but with a neat twist. He still had that tragic feeling to him especially getting traumatized and all but Dinobot telling him everything he went through wasn't an excuse to hurt other people was just *chefs kiss* bc it's really not. As tragic as Stars character is it's not an excuse for him to hurt the people around him. I mean no matter how bad I can feel for Prime Screamer he still used and manipulated everyone around him(Knockout for one). This is in no way me trying to justify or make him a good guy, a character can be tragic while still being a bad person. Somebody get him in therapy lol.

Oh man and don't get me started on the Unicron Trilogy Starscream. Probably the most tragic of them all, poor guy did not deserve any of Megatrons abuse. Allow me to let him speak for himself "I tried to gain favor from you, but nothing was ever good enough. No matter how many battles I fought, you always found fault." He really just wanted recognition, he literally sacrificed himself just so Megatron could get it through his thick head he needed to team up with the Autobots, and I recently had someone point out to me Starscream probably could have done some damage to Unicron with Swindle but he knew he was gonna die and he didn't wanna drag his mini-con down with him. Just ow.

Animated Screamer was just wild idek what he was on I can't defend him lmao bro opens the show trying and almost succeeded in killing Megan. I'd comment on Cyberverse if I could but I haven't actually got to watching that yet whoops. I feel like I remember seeing a clip of him talking about wanting the respect he deserved which honestly could have been his ego talking or really sad idk, but back to what I was originally saying.

Almost every time he shows up and you pay him any attention besides comic relief he's a super tragic character and it's not only what makes him one of my favorite but it makes me sad when I see people completely disregard everything but whats on the barest of surface levels. I feel like that's all Micheal Bay did he remembered Star being comic relief and so thats all he was. He's like an onion for lack of a better analogy, got a million layers, might make u cry, and you either love him or hate him. He could be such a compelling interesting character like with IDW but no one wants to look below the surface AND I GET IT 9/10 were literal children's shows so they're forgiven but Micheal Bay is on my hit list for that one.

edit: bro if this makes absolutely zero sense I literally wrote and posted this at 3am and then just scheduled it at a normal time for reasons I'm not actually 100% on so sorry💀

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