am-i-the-asshole-official

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my coworker to do her job.

I (28X) am a trainer at a theme park. Part of my job is that I'm supposed to correct errors as I catch them, to prevent them from becoming habits.

Lately we've been having an issue of people not putting back hangers and pulling out trash cans at the end of the night. Normally this isn't a big deal every once in a while but it's become clear it's a few consistent culprits. I was also very cranky and crampy from my period when I came into my store and noticed that it hadn't been taken care of.

So I asked another of my coworkers who had closed the store last night, and got told it was another coworker (20sF). This particular coworker is not great at her job and makes a lot of errors. She also gets upset over any criticism, so telling her how to do her job better is a challenge in and of itself. She also has a history of telling other people they did bad despite the fact that she can't take feedback and she's not a trainer.

So logically, I knew this was inviting problems, but not making best judgement. So I gave her a gentle poke, something along the line of "Hey, somebody let me know you didn't pull out the trash cans and put away the hangers. Not the biggest deal but just try to remember this in the future." I try very hard to not be nasty at work so I tried to phrase it as lightly as possible.

And she went to management over it. I don't know what she said to management since I heard it through the grape vine but the point still stands. I checked in with my managers to make sure I handled it properly and they told me I should have taken it to them just in general (both because she can't take peer to peer feedback and because it had happened the night before) and I respect in terms of handling policy I fucked up.

But, in terms of just being mean on general, was I the asshole for telling her to remember to put away the hangers and pull out the trash?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR REFUSING TO WATCH OVER MY SISTERS CAT?

please help me I'm having real trouble here.

So a couple days ago my sister found this little baby cat and decided to take it home to where she and her partner live, because the alternative would be letting it die and because she loves animals deeply.

The baby is only days old and it needs constant surveillance, something neither she nor her fiance can give because they work all day long. Here's where I come in.

Since I'm unemployed and don't really have much going for me at the moment, she asked me to go over to their house and take care of it from 8am til 8pm. Their house from mine is a 1 and a half hour bus & metro ride.

The thing is, she wants me to go and do that every single day, minus the weekends. She and her fiance had agreed to giving the cat elsewhere, I even have candidates from a Facebook post we made, waiting for a response. But suddenly she decided the cat is too cute and she wants to keep it.

I think it's unfair. Firstly, she didn't inform me of this (despite me asking all day long 'what should I reply to those messages?') until early afternoon where she asked me if I can come and watch the cat again the next day. Then she told me that she wants to keep it and when I said that I don't want to make a 2 hour trip back and forth every day she said that she wants to keep the cat but if she can't have the help she needs she can't.

This obviously made me feel guilty as hell, but here's the thing also. Isn't it unfair? Why would she keep a cat she doesn't even have the time for and mostly hand him over to me? I already have a cat I'm taking care of, albeit she's a big girl now. She will never have time for the cat and no one else she knows won't either, so the responsibility will always fall on me. They even have a trip planned and when I asked her what she's gonna do with the cat then, she said she was thinking of either handing it over to me or making me go over for the four days, which just bugs me wrong.

I do get the feeling I might be sounding really shitty. I feel shitty for feeling like this too. But I'm also anxious as hell about it. And this might be my avoidance disorder, which is why I'm asking you to tell me if I make a point or if I sound like the shittiest person alive? Please know I mean the kitty no harm, and I like him just fine, it just feels like a lot of weight on my shoulders, but also to be fair, my sister provides the milk and the box and the blankets and the feeding bottle.

So AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop watching porn?

This is pretty simple tbh. NSFW mentions of porn, sex, and masturbation.

🐣🐣

I am a transgender man and struggle a lot with sexual intimacy. I don’t think I’m on the ace spectrum, I just have a lot of insecurities and dysphoria that I’m working through. I still crave sexual intimacy, I just get very anxious about it. My boyfriend is understanding but a little pushy at times because he’s got a high sex drive. He doesn’t do it on purpose and backs off when I tell him to. Important to mention that my boyfriend is cis. So, because of this, my boyfriend usually takes care of himself. I help out whenever I feel comfortable.

Recently, we somehow started talking about porn and hentai (don’t remember the context of the conversation) and I asked him what he does when he takes care of himself. He said he watches porn, which I was surprised to hear but it makes sense because he has aphantasia. So, he can’t really imagine me or anything. Sometimes he uses my photos, but he said he needs some movement. At first I was fine with it, but then he mentioned that he only watches straight porn.

Now, I know my reaction was out of line, because I started crying and calling him an asshole for watching straight porn when he’s dating a trans guy. He’s pansexual, so he can really watch any kind of porn he wants, but I just started freaking out for some reason.

He kept telling me that there was no good gay stuff or ftm stuff, which is just straight up not true. There’s plenty of ftm nsfw content, but when I mentioned that, he said it felt weird and fetishistic.

I told him it hurts me when he watches straight porn, he said that’s stupid and he needs something to get off to. Fair enough but it still hurts me. There’s just something about me trying so hard to get past my anxiety and dysphoria so we can finally be intimate with each other and him blatantly disrespecting my gender identity that hurts like hell.

Plus, every time I suggested we do something that I’m into, he shot me down. I’m a bit of a kinkier guy and he’s very vanilla, despite insisting that he’s into the same stuff as me. I 100% respect his boundaries and never brought it up again. But I don’t think it’s fair that he won’t even try stuff with me that might make intimacy more enjoyable for me and then goes and watches straight porn. I keep trying to make our sex live work and he can’t even be bothered to figure out ftm bodies. Idk.

I talked to an online friend and they called me biphobic.

Am I out of line for trying to tell him what kind of porn to watch? Am I overreacting?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for romantically pursuing a friend who’s younger than me?

We’re both in high school/teenagers and there’s only 2 calendar years between us but im 3 school years above them so I feel like it’d be wrong of me idk.

(Im 15 turning 16 and they’re 13 turning 14)

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for leaving an angry comment on a fanfic?

To recognize: 🤢🤮😡🤬👎

So I'm (19F) a fandom where the canon ship is my notp. I find some aspects of the ship abusive and reminds me of my relationship with my ex that I'm seeing a therapist for. No shades for people who like it, but I prefer my ships on the fluffy side. So instead I have another ship for this fandom, which is not canon obviously, and is a rarepair. Finding fanart and fanfic for my OTP is very hard. But that's alright. I make my own art and I'm spreading love for it.

One time I came across a fanfic of my OTP. I was overjoyed. I didn't let my excitement take over, I made sure to read the tags on the fic first, to make sure there's nothing that squicks me but it was all good.

I start reading the fanfic. My boy wants to confess but is shy, okay, a slowburn. I continued reading, reading, reading, no sign of a confession or even a single interaction for my OTP, no problem, it will sure happen later, so I continued reading, reading, reading. Surely the author is saving the fluffiness for the end, right? I have to be patient, fanfic authors are unpaid and don't owe me a thing.

I reached the last paragraph of the fic and not a single interaction yet, no only that, but my NOTP started dating as a result of the MC not taking even a single action, all of sudden. The fic ends like that, the boy is heartbroken because he do it first.

I was livid, my NOTP showed up in a fic that was supposed to be about my OTP. I scrolled up to the tag list again to make sure I didn't miss the ship tag and yes. I was correct. The author thought it was a good idea to hide the ship because spoilers.

So I made a a comment that's basically this: how dare you make me read this with my own eyes? Why did you not tag NOTP also this fic has zero ship content so why did you even bother putting it in the tag. Tag your fic correctly next time at least warn us when there's another ship. Delete your fic from the tags for God's sake.

Apparently this writer was new or something and they apologized but didn't even bother to correct the tags after reading the comment.

I'm probably TA because the comment may have been means but I feel justified because I didn't consent to reading about my notp and I have it blacklisted everywhere and I even skip scenes when I watch it to avoid, but here it was without a warning so it's not a case of don't like don't read.

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for microwaving my cereal?

So I (M14) love cereal. I always have it for breakfast and/or dinner, I add a punch of fruits and nuts and sprinkle chocolate and stuff, mix the milk with honey etc etc, basically, I put a lot of effort into it and it tastes 😋

Now here's the issue, my younger siblings (F10, M12) love to eat cereal too and are too lazy to make it the same way that I do, also they insist it never turns out the same way when they do it.

Now, sometimes I fix cereal for them, but admittedly sometimes I'm too lazy myself to fix 3 portions, that's a lot of fruit to cut. So I make cereal just for me.

And THEN THEY JUST COME AND EAT FROM MY BOWL.

I hate it. Like I'm okay with sharing solid food but not the liquid ones, they're putting their saliva all over my bowl, they know this and won't stop. The only way to stop them is to hit them but I'm not that kind of guy, I swear.

Here's where I might be TA: I started microwaving my cereal to heat the milk and make the cereal soggy. My siblings find this disgusting and won't eat it but I on the other hand don't care, soggy cereal is 😋 too.

Now they are mad at me they can't eat my cereal and have to make it themselves.

I feel I might be TA because my siblings always share their food with me, and I'm making it hard to share with them here. Also because they told mom and she said I'm the oldest and need to feed them. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Boosting this, I love when extremely niche blogs pop up in the wake of an aita

I've noticed a few people have started following me, so...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for bringing goods from another business and eating it inside?

There's a certain cafe I often go to on my off days. The coffee itself is super good, but the sweets and pastry are mid. It's overall cheaper so I do get deserts sometimes if I feel like it. Recently, another cafe has opened up next to it. I wanted to give it a try, the coffee was okay-ish, but overpriced compared to the other cafe so I decided to never get coffee from them again.

Oneday, I went to my favorite cafe as usual but before I entered, I craved cake so I decided to check the newer cafe and try their menu. I got one San Sabastian to go, I thought I shouldn't take it inside with me to the other business, but it was raining and my car was parked a little far from the place, so I brought it inside.

I ordered latte an sat down. I was craving some sugar amd the chocolate sauce was reheated for me so I asked the waiter if I were allowed to eat what I had bought from the other place?

I was totally prepared for him to say no, I wasn't going to complain if he did but instead he told me to make myself at home so I ate my cake. It wasn't worth it though.

Later I told my barista friend about what I did and she called me a Karen, that the waiter only allowed me to eat it because they didn't want to lose me at a customer, not because it's an acceptable behavior and I must have embarrassed them by asking.

Maybe relevant info: there was no sign that prohibited bringing food from outside, but it's probably one of those things that don't need to be said, hence why I wanted to make sure and ask for permission. Also, I hadn't been to that place for about 6 months at that point and the staff looked unfamiliar, so they didn't recognize me as a regular customer.

So, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #i looked up what a san sebastian was and holy fuck i am craving cheesecake something unholy now

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend that his joke came across as homophobic?

This is probably going to be very teenage drama but I wanted to see what other people thought.

I (15, nonbinary) was hanging out with my best friend J (15, genderfluid) at break during school. Our other friend S (14, in the year below us, genderfluid) was also there but they were talking to some other friends.

(Background: S became friends with J and myself about two years before this, when we were all in the school play together and also all in our school's pride club. We were very close for about a year then started drifting apart since we didn't have much in common other than being gay. We still all hung out in the same place at breaks and lunch, but S had their own friend group who they were closer to.)

Among the friends S was talking to was R, a new student (14, a trans boy) who had joined our school about a week before this happened. Me and J had been introduced to R but hadn't had many conversations with him - he was closer to S than to either of us since they were in the same school year.

Me and J were talking about a book that I had recommended to them, and J said about one of the main characters "he's definitely gay". I agreed, and then S broke off their conversation to ask "ooh, who's gay?"

Before me or J could respond to answer the question, R interrupted and said loudly "EW, GAY PEOPLE", then he and S started laughing.

I was really taken aback by this and basically said "hey, what the fuck?"

R said that it was a joke, and I said that it hadn't come across that way and it had felt like a homophobic comment. I think R probably got quite defensive because he said that it couldn't be homophobic since he was "literally MLM"

I don't care whether R is gay or not, the joke felt really out of place. He explained that it was supposed to be making fun of homophobes, but to me it still felt inappropriate within the context. If we'd been talking about or joking about homophobia then it might have been less shocking, I guess? But it felt like it really came out of nowhere.

I said that whether or not he was gay, it still came across as homophobic because of how unprompted it was. I also think it was a bit thoughtless to make that joke because he didn't know if me and J would be comfortable with it since we didn't know each other very well, and obviously homophobia can be a sensitive or triggering topic for a lot of queer people.

My friends (including J) seemed to think it wasn't that big of a deal and that I was too harsh on R since he said he was joking, but AITA for saying that "EW GAY PEOPLE" feels homophobic?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA/WIBTA to remain friends with people who agreed not to move out with me?

☘️💮🏡💸🏝️🎏🥪 < 4 me

For a while, I wanted to move out of my parents' home and rent a place with B and T. We're all in our early 20s.

To make a long story short: B and T were my roommates freshman year of college. We got off on the wrong foot but reconnected and apologized to each other junior year. From there, I got to know them a lot better and slowly regained my trust in them. We got to talking about moving out together around this time as well.

however, I notice some issues in our friendship. After graduation, I moved back with my parents while they both stayed in an apartment with B's older sister. Anytime I visit, I barely get to talk with T, who is usually in their room talking to online friends or doing homework (has 1 yr of school left). The last time I visited, I bought everyone food and T came out to thank me. Me and B wanted to play a board game with them, and T promised they would join in later that night. They never came out of their room, even when I left the next day. This is on top of the few texts I get from both of them ever since I moved back home. But to be fair, I was always aware of B being a dry texter, and I know T needs to focus on her education. We're all introverted ppl here, but I'd appreciate it if they talked to me a bit more, yknow?

Now the housing situation: B recently brought up a place we could rent and told me we'll sign up for the waitlist IF I am financially stable to move out this year. If not, then they might be able to move out again into a bigger place when I am ready in about a year/year in a half. I agreed and said I'd give them an answer by the next week.

Next week comes along, and I just lost my job. I text the group chat about my situation and they asked if I wouldn't be able to move, to which I said no, it wouldn't be happening this year, but next year I should be ready and let them know when I could move ahead of time. B then says that they actually have no idea when they'd be able to move again and make room for me, and T adds that after a few yrs they will move out to live with their partner. I don't remember this change of plans happening so quickly, but I just reply wishing them the best of luck in finding a new place without me. I talked to my best friend about this whole situation with them and he's suggesting I definitely need to rethink the friendship if they keep changing their minds and not communicating with me, even if I gave them a second chance to be their friend.

Next time I visit them in person, I'm going to be honest about the issues in our friendship and how I feel a little hurt about how quickly they changed plans/don't talk to me as much anymore. I hate confrontation, but I don't want this friendship to be ruined a 2nd time and continue bottling up my feelings.

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ignoring a guy who has a crush on me?

For context I (15f) started at a new highschool partway through this year, on my first day I met a guy named L (16m) when we both came in to class early. We had a few classes together so I decided to make conversation, as he could be a potential friend and I had worried about making friends at a new school.

He seemed nice at first, although he clearly had no awareness of social conventions or other people’s interest in him, but I was willing to listen to him talk about his interests if he wanted to. After a few days of knowing him I quickly started to realize that we would NOT make good friends. He was extremely loud to the point where he would pound his fists on the desk and yell if upset (I have issues with loud noises), and is quite possibly the least emotionally aware and least respectful person I’ve met. He yells at people for correcting him, to the point of threatening violence. He fully takes advantage of how gullible and easily startled I am by shouting suddenly or playing a “made you look” joke.

He is also autistic and adhd (I am too), and seems unaware that his actions are not socially acceptable. It also feels worth mentioning that although he has one or two friends he is seemingly widely disliked in the school, and frequently the butt of the joke, so that may make me more of an asshole here.

After about a week I told him that we would not work out as friends and he seemed fine with that.

Over time though I have noticed that L is overly nice to me and still extremely rude to pretty much everyone except me, and he actually listened when I told him to stop jumpscaring me. He talks to me more than most other people, I am one of the few people he doesn’t ever yell at, and he compliments me somewhat frequently (which he does not do to other people as far as I can tell) and frequently tells me to have a wonderful day, and looks at me across the room. I have talked to my mom and she agrees with me that L likely has a crush on me, and honestly the thought of that makes me very uncomfortable. 

Here is where I might be the asshole: at this point talking to L at all is very hard to me, and hearing his voice makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like to be rude, and if possible try to be extremely friendly to anyone who is nice to me, but I really just want him to stop talking to me at all. 

So would I be the asshole if I started ignoring him when he compliments me or asks how I am doing, in hopes that he will stop, even though it will likely hurt his feelings and risk him disliking me?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I reminded a friend he owes me money?

@aitathrowaway321 for finding later

I (20s, they/them) lent a friend Johnny (fake name. 20s, he/him) about $300 for rent about a year and a half ago. He was panicking because he'd bought a small tattoo that week, and had thought he'd budgeted for rent, but realized he forgot about another bill.

I'd once not had enough for rent and a friend who wasn't well off, without me asking, had offered to lend me the money for rent. It had been an incredibly kind act, and though I'd paid that friend back a few months later the first second I could, I've always remembered it. So I offered to do the same to Johnny (who knew this story) as a sort of pay-it-forward and that he could just pay me back when he was able, no rush at all. I also at the time had an okay job where I made enough to be able to do this, and Johnny's job was pretty awful.

Johnny was very thankful and agreed. At first, he'd bring up the debt a lot himself (I would never bring it up) and continually promise to pay it when he could, to which I'd be like - just as soon as you comfortably can, don't stress! And he mentioned it A LOT. Multiple times every single time I saw him at first. But eventually he stopped mentioning it entirely.

The two of us had this in-joke, and Johnny realized he could buy something related to the in-joke. He swore he'd buy it for me as a birthday gift (I didn't ask) and it would be so much fun, very soon after I lent him money. It would have been a nice gift, but it would've cost at least $200. In my head I decided that if he decided to get me the gift instead of paying me back I'd be happy either way, bc it's nice to be thought of. All I said aloud was that it would be a lot of fun, and it was a very kind thought from him. He would then regularly bring up buying me this gift for months. Then my birthday passed and I didn't get anything at all from him. Which was fine, I didn't ask for gifts! But then he stopped bringing up buying me anything OR paying back the money.

Now it's been almost a year and a half, and he seems to have entirely forgotten he ever owed me. I wouldn't mind so much - times are hard! - and it's not like I'm going to be angry if someone is spending money on nice dinners and pretty clothes instead of saving up for a no-deadline debt to a friend. People need to have nice things to get through life. But he keeps getting new tattoos and piercings (we go to the same parlor, I know they're pricey) and he recently planned and went on a big trip with a friend. It's not as if he hasn't had the ability to pay me back in the last few years. I also got laid off from my job, and $300 is a lot more to me than it used to be.

It's not so much that I want the money back as it is that I'm hurt he spent so much time talking big about paying me, and then when enough time had passed just dropped it entirely. I've had an issue in the past when after I got an okay job, suddenly people who had ghosted me were begging me for money (didn't know my salary but just assumed bc of the job title). And having been in awful situations, I tried to help where I could anyway, but then after getting the money they'd ghost me again. Johnny hasn't ghosted me, but he seems to have decided not to pay me back and pretend it never happened.

We have an event coming up where people will be paying for things and everyone else will be paying them back immediately - just bc it's easier to do things like buy tickets all at once and then pass them out, and easier for a restaurant to have one bill and then people venmo each other after. I was considering having Johnny pay and then tell him he can take it out of his debt to me.

I'm unsure if this is passive aggressive and rude, or if it's a good way to gently remind him he owes me without being a jerk about money - if he is still just struggling financially and hasn't forgotten, I don't want to rub anything in or make him stressed. I don't want money to ruin a friendship, but I'm feeling hurt.

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for calling my dad delusional? 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊 so I can find it later

So, for context, I (17x) have a schizophrenia-adjacent mental illness. On top of this, I am very interested in psychology and the like, specifically clinical and developmental. My hobbies include going online and looking through random medical documents just for the hell of it. That being said, one of my top rules I have in my mental folder is to never reality-check someone experiencing a delusion unless they specifically have given consent before, as this can cause them to spiral into a mental health crisis that at best can be extremely distressing and at worst lethal. With that out of the way, this is why I'm considering calling my dad delusional. He (42m) is VERY traditional and sort of 'just stop being mentally ill' about everything regarding clinical psychology. This is not exclusive at all to depression and anxiety.

He caught me talking to my mother about causes of delusions and how to handle them, and overheard me saying that you shouldn't encourage nor reality-check the delusion, as both can make things worse. His response was to immediately get mad at me and tell me not to 'coddle delusional people.'

Now, on top of being traditional, my dad is a major conspiracy theorist. I mean, he's anti-vaxx, a flat-earther, and believes the government is a bunch of baby eating lizards from the hollow moon kind of conspiracy theorist. I have until now been doing my best to avoid discussing these things with him, as he is stubborn about these beliefs to the point of me wondering if he too is experiencing/experiences delusional beliefs. But knowing his attitude towards others with delusional beliefs (including, unknowingly, me), I am tempted to just straight up start calling him delusional if he starts rambling about it with me. So, WIBTA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying I didn't like my friend's boyfriend?

I (18ftm) have a close friend who we'll call Alex (18nb). about five months ago, Alex met Kyle (18m) on a dating app. both Alex and I have had some bad experiences with people from dating apps. when Alex met Kyle, they fell head over heels instantly. they met up immediately after matching because Kyle was going back to college in only a few days. they were overall moving very very quickly which made me a bit nervous for Alex

I decided to text Alex and tell them I didn't really like Kyle and thought there were a ton of red flags. Alex reacted poorly, which I expected and didn't judge them for. I didn't bring it up again after that one text conversation and for the most part neither did Alex

however, I found out a few days ago that Alex holds a grudge against me for saying I didn't like Kyle. they also apparently told Kyle everything I said because Kyle hates my guts. they said I had been too forceful and an asshole. I definitely may have been too blunt about it, but here's the thing: with my last ex, the exact same thing happened with the roles reversed. I met him on a dating app, fell head over heels, and moved way too quickly, and then Alex told me over text that there were a ton of red flags

I'm so confused because I didn't think I had done anything wrong until now. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the A-hole for trying to protect a women focused space?

I'm the mod from the super one sided retelling of the "Refusing to change OC's sexuality to bi/pan" situation. Shin (the person who wrote that post) know i don't use tumblr so of course he bring the drama here so that people would judge "Laura" and me without knowing the full truth. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine who followed this blog told me about this and was kind enough to allowed me to send this ask using her account.

First of all, it's pretty clear that Shin is lying about his identity. Shin said he is a trans man but he admitted that he don't want to transition beside wanting flat chest. Shin also said that he is south east asian but his display name and his OC's name are all japanese, which is a huge sign of white weeb fetishizing japanese culture. The fact that his english and understanding of slangs is way too good to be south east asian.

Secondly, Shin joining this server knowing that 90% of the members are yumejoshi, he should be grateful of the fact that we even allowed those yaoi characters invading what basically a space for women. I know we advertised the RP as a non-shipping focus death game story but you should have read the room and know what type of people this space is catering to and not bring your gay character in if you didn't want him to be shipped with women.

Thirdly, if Shin was uncomfortable then he should have made it clear from the start instead of letting "Laura"s character flirting with his, like having him respond rudely or out right rejecting her or something. Shin said he is having undiagnosed autism in his bio then he should have understand how it feel when people don't state what they mean clearly. His OC still being nice to "Laura"'s OC even if he didn't like the flirting, of course she would misunderstand that his OC developed romantic feeling for her OC.

Fourthly, Shin said before that he didn't count alternate timeline versions of a character from a visual novel he likes the same as the original timeline version because of their different life experiences then why can't he do the same to his OC? Why can't he just agree to let "Laura" make an alternate version of his character if in his logic they are completely different people? Hypocrite much?

And finally, "Laura" was very upset about this and it took her a while to move on, she could have hurt herself back then because of you. Also, we had to revised our server's rules and banned all the non-yumejoshies, which cut several RPs short.

So who is really the A-hole here?

#aita #am i the asshole #misgendering cw

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for liking horny text posts about trans girls?

Probably low-stakes but I do want to make sure. I'm a cis guy dating a trans girl. Being on tumblr, a lot of blogs I follow are also trans women, and some of them reblog/post NSFW text posts, which I often essentially self-insert to with me and my girlfriend. However, I know a lot of these may be meant in a different context than that. Am I overstepping boundaries? It's not like any of the posts specify "cis men DNI" or anything, but IDK

#aita #am i the asshole

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my mom that my dad might be a murderer?

So I (14F) have an odd set of parents, to put it kindly. For the past year and a half or so, my father (58M) has been leaving, using drugs and being very angry when he comes back. (He doesn't usually yell at/do anything to me, so don't be concerned for my safety. I have people to go to.) He's been yelling at my mother (54F) about this man, I'll call him "D" (I don't know his age, I've never heard of or met him prior to this) and how she cheated on my father with him 12 years etc. And then he was yelling about how D was dead and she probably went to the funeral and.. whatever other nonsense.

My mother told me what happened the night he's accusing her of cheating. They were at the bar [my parents used to own a bar] and my mother didn't want my father to get drunk. He's a violent drunk. So, she asked D to stay with her, thinking that he wouldn't be like that in front of a guy that he respected. She was wrong. He kicked her out, and got in a fight with D. She left with her father, got a call from the hospital about my father having like a 4.0 bac and that was that.

I was telling my brother (35M) about this and he was really surprised. He knew D, and that he was a nice guy, and he knew how he died.

Brain trauma from being beaten up ≈ 12 years ago.

It didn't sound like D got in a lot of fights - my brother certainly was surprised when he heard the cause of death - so it was probably my dad. It makes sense why he's made such a big deal out of it, and was especially bad the day he (D) died.

My mother told me not to tell my brother anything that goes on in our house. I don't want them to have even more tension than they do, especially right now because she's sick (ckd, end stage, if that matters. she's got a couple years) and also - I don't think it would do anything. She already keeps evidence "just in case he kills her" so I don't think telling her would help. I also kind of want to tell her. I don't know. Would it be an asshole move?

(Obviously I know I don't have hard evidence against my dad, so I wouldn't state it as fact, just my theory.) anyway, 🙃 to find later.

#additional info