#FOMO

[csuitebitches]

On Getting Rid of Your Inferiority Complex

You can take advice from everyone and every book you read, but no one can protect you proactively, unless you choose to protect yourself. Only you can do that for yourself. Your parents, friends, partner can support you emotionally but you need to stop relying so much on external validation.

When you’re making a choice that you know is going to be detrimental to your health, whether its physical, mental or emotional - such as going back to your ex, not taking the next steps for your career/ education - you need to think more about your (near) future self and make sure that she’s also comfortable. You need to think long term.

As we grow up, we often encounter situations that we’ve been in before to some degree, there’s somewhat a pattern to them. It’s time to start recognising them early and leave when you see the red flags waving.

By breaking your own word that you’ve made to yourself you’re making the inferiority complex worse. Because you’re showing to your subconscious mind that you don’t matter at all. Others do.

It could be something “small” such as going out clubbing with your friends because you couldn’t say no - and having an important presentation due the next day. It could be something “big” such as breaking off a difficult relationship, and still going back to them.

When we suffer from an inferiority complex, we idolise people around us and think they’re better than us in every way. We choose to see the best in them- just the way we choose to see the worst in ourselves.

At some point, we have had enough and decide to start improving ourselves. How do we do this? By improving ourselves in areas that you feel left out in.

Such as, seeing an influencer live your dream life. Now you’ll do everything you can to live like her because you think that once you achieve that, everything will be great. You try to improve in areas that have no direct relation to your inferiority complex.

You’ll try work on these things - while that can be in a way good because it’s alright to have a dream life and motivation for it, that doesn’t fix the inferiority issue.

Because the inferiority issue solely comes from lack of confidence and trust in yourself. Even if you get your ideal life like that influencer, that confidence won’t last long and you’ll find something else to panic about - you’ll compare yourself to your peers, or the anxiety of jobs after or the next shiny thing you want.

To actually combat inferiority issues you HAVE to build a connection with yourself. True confidence will only come when you connect with yourself with things that aren’t material things.

You need to cultivate a growth mindset and genuinely believe that you WILL get better with time, you WILL get smarter with time, you will improve your talent over time. You have to detach yourself from outcomes, whether positive or negative and just take it as life.

And this doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistent effort to not feel fomo anymore or feel shitty.

You have to stop hesitating putting yourself first, putting your emotional needs first, standing up for yourself and saying a big fuck you to things that deserve it.

Not everything that you have today will be permanent in your life and that’s something you have to come to terms with.

But if your worth is fully dependent on other people, then you really need to sit down with yourself and start actually working on the relationship that matters the most - the one with yourself.

You’re intimidated by these influencers or the people who you want to be like, not because they wear designer bags, have cool outfits, vacations, boyfriends, girlfriends - but because they often have a very strong sense of identity.

They express what they like and don’t like. They don’t change themselves depending on the person in front of them. If there’s something they want, they go and get it. They pursue what makes them happy.

When do you plan on doing that for yourself?

So how do you do it?

You need to build a strong sense of self identity.

How? By dating yourself. Ask yourself questions that you would ask someone on a first date. What are your answers? These answers will not remain the same over time and they shouldn’t either. Here are some as a guide:

1. What do you like in general?

2. What do you dislike in general?

3. List all the things you like about yourself

4. List all the things you can improve about yourself

5. Where would you ideally want to be in 2 years?

6. What sort of a life do you wish you had right now?

Next step is continue dating yourself. Aim for one new experience a week. It doesn’t have to be major. It could be something simple such as a cooking a meal you’ve never made, solving crossword puzzles, trying to grow herbs, colouring books. With new experiences, you learn something about yourself, which allows you further build a connection with yourself. Literally date yourself.

Take care of yourself the way you would care for a partner. How do you want to be cared for? What makes you feel loved and appreciated? Show yourself the same things too.

#c suite #powerful woman #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #strong women #getting your life together #feminine energy #balance #inferiority complex #fomo #insecure #insecurity #confidence #confident #secure #how to become confident

[furiousgoldfish]

I hate the idea of 'missed potential' or 'missed opportunities', because 99% of that is hollow made up garbage. My 'potential' is only what I feel like doing and what I want to be doing, there is no 'third hidden potential' that I'm failing to put to use, my only potential is my own prerogative. There's nothing else I should be doing or developing right now or I'm missing out, I know my reality, I know my abilities, I'm choosing to do this, there's zero potential for anything else but my free will to be exercised.

Also most of what is presented as an 'opportunity' today is an opportunity to be exploited. You're not missing out on jobs you could be doing right now, you're doing better using your own time for your own purposes than it being stolen for someone else's. You're not failing to rise to the opportunity if it's something you don't feel like doing, something you don't feel confident or happy doing, or something that scares you - that's not an opportunity! That's literally just something you don't want to be doing. It can miss you and you're better for it.

There's not a wild fantasy world of insane things one could be doing if only they didn't miss opportunities, in reality a person cannot be expected to modify their own free will and jump into someone else's in order to 'not miss out' or 'fulfill potential'. We can fulfill our potential by doing exactly what we feel like, when we feel like it. Also it is insulting to imply someone only has 'potential', because we all have more than that. We're someone already. We're doing something already, just by being. We're a part of society, we're surviving, we're experiencing the world and we're making choices. If you see that and go 'ah missed potential', then you're just creating an in to trick people into thinking that they could be more fulfilled following your will, rather than their own. And no they would not be. We're more than the 'potential' to do someone else's bidding.

#pushing pressure on kids and young adults to live to expectations that have nothing to do with their own desires #missed opportunities #fomo #missed potential #manipulative behaviour #just leave people be #angry rant #rant

[akindplace]

Maybe age should not mean much more than how long ago you were born. Instead of being a measure of accomplishments, of beauty, of desirability. You can be sick at any age. You can be exhausted at any age. You can be young and feel old and worn out. You can be old and feel more alive than you ever felt in your 20s.

Age should not measure a human being in anything but when they were born but I guess capitalism and the beauty industry depends on us believing that being young equals desirability, health and happiness and maybe that's why so many teens already feel like they are missing out before they get a chance to live and become wiser and people in theirs 40s are desperately trying to feel less obsolete and trying to maintain a face with no marks of life when wrinkles are just signs of how much your skin stood the tests of time and emotion and people in their 80s feel so left out of society because they don't have the same energy levels and can't maintain the same productivity.

Maybe your body should have signs of being lived on through the years. Maybe being a teen is just a confusing time in our lives instead of the best years one can ever live. Maybe life is what you make of it, but your age should never be an indication of much more than how long you have lived. Maybe this is a hot take but maybe, just maybe, the fear of missing out eats away at every generation.

#on age #on being human #on being alive #on being a teenager #on growing up #self-acceptance #on growing old #original writing #perfectionism #fear of missing out #fomo #life is what you make of it #and I intend to have a body that has lived through life without fear of getting older

[aroaceconfessions]

As a woman I sometimes feel like I missed out on a large part of female bonding rituals by not caring about looking attractive (like definitionally attractive, looking to attract) and not having crushes or partners to talk about.

I wish I had "drunk girls doing their make-up in the bathroom all screaming at you not to text your ex" experiences but none of that is part of who I am.

I have great female friends who I love and fit my vibe. But those intense connections with female strangers I've never been able to forge, and it really feels like I'm missing out.

Submitted May 4, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #fomo

[nestedneons]

By lip comarella

Audio on

#nestedneons #cyberpunk #cyberpunk art #cyberpunk aesthetic #cyberpunk artist #art #megacity #futuristic city #cyberwave #cryptoart #fomo

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen! i've know im a lesbian since I was 12, but because of my problems with socializing i've never actually had ANY romantic interactions(my lesbianism making things even harder, as you can imagine)

i'm almost out of high school and going to college, so i'm feeling very down about missing out on teen romance but dont want the same thing to happen again. do you have any tips on what i can do to avoid this problem in the future? i am genuinely clueless on what to do when looking for a partner, really

even if you dont actually have any advice to give i still really love your blog, it reminds me that lesbians can actually grow old and live happy lives💖💖thank you for hearing me out and i apologize for any grammar mistake!!

This is pretty easy because, while it was pretty outgoing and friendly, it was often not as my full self. I kept my horse girl, lesbian, butch and weird music and hobby side of myself under wraps from most of my friends. I had no word for lesbian or butch but my high school best friend knew I probably liked girls, we just never discussed it and it didn't bother her. It might have been harder on our friendship had I tried to come out in the 80's, not because it bothered her but the insinuations of all the others about our relationship would have been A LOT for a high schooler.

I waited until after college graduation and I used to sometimes look back and wonder how many times I missed out kissing a girl in high school or other women in college. How had twinges of regret for not having sex or even attempting intimacy with women.( I mostly avoided boys too because ew)

As I was sitting in a miserable passionless marriage to my wife of 17years, I pined for that passion and tingle that i had with my first girlfriend from ages 23 to 30. How many times did I miss that feeling with girls in my high school or college or at summer jobs because I was unsure of myself and not confident that any woman would find me attractive. I was even unsure if loving a woman was something I could do. Was it a real thing?

Looking back now I realize I just was not ready and most of my young friends in high school were not ready for me to be out and opening attracted to the same sex. I had fun in high school, made friends and had a small group of girls I was very close to. I enjoyed those friendships perhaps because I did not come out and cause those bonds to be strained.

In college I was concerned how my parents would react and I was in no way independent from their financial and emotional support. My friends were all around me experimenting with their sexuality and I was watching from outside, really wanting what they had but not willing to give up my security and college education to be open about being a lesbian. I knew I could just "do it and hide it" but I was not built for the stealthy life. I know if i was loving loving women it would be hard to be quiet.

Here is the point I am getting at with the sharing of all these experiences. If you were not ready to act on dating and attempting to date it is probably good that you listened to yourself. We are not on a time line and many young people feel pressured to date when their confidence, sexual maturity and social skills are not ready yet which can lead them to be vulnerable to abusive, controlling or unhealthy relationships. It is hard to listen to your own intuition and set and keep boundaries when you are trying to date just to not be the only one not dating.

What you more likely missed out on was not the thrill of dating but the hassle of pretending you want to date when it didn't feel right, at all.

You are heading to college. You are now becoming interested in the excitement of dating on your own and not because others think you need to date. You are craving the touch, the tingly feeling and the companionship of women. These are all good signs you are ready to date.

My advice:

1.Be honest with yourself and then her (your date) every time. Do not go on date number two if it does not feel right. If you are unsure go on another date but continue to listen to yourself.

2.You deserve passion and mutual excitement to be in the company of a woman. If one of you do not feel it, move on.

3.Do not stick to a relationship because it is "ok" or she is "nice" . You have the right to sexual, emotional and intellectual stimulation. Look for it and don't settle.

4.There will be other women so don't cling to the first one or the one willing to stick around just because she is there. If you don't feel all the afore mentioned excitement, be honest with yourself and her and move on.

5. Dating a woman with whom you share many wonderful moments and lots of joy does not mean you will be together forever or have that expectation. Short term love is a thing and neither of you are failures when that fades out.

6. Ask her. If you see a woman that interests you be clear that you would like to take her on a date and you have romantic interests. Don't be vague or try to use hints. This leads to miscommunications and false expectation every time.

7. Finally, use all the dating and flirting and breakups and heartbreaks and joy and fun and memories to form who and what you are looking for as a partner. All that experience is giving you a better idea on what makes you truly happy.

You missed out on nothing. The adventure is just beginning and it can start with a simple "Hi, I think you are cute. Would you be willing to go on a date with me?" She might say "no", but she MIGHT say "yes".

#lesbian #dating #college #fomo

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2023 (part I)

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.

ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.

#what i've learned #2023 #writerscreed #poeticstories #poetryportal #writtenconsiderations #inkstay #lists #life lessons #lessons learned #notes to self #what I've learned in 2023 #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled thoughts #vulnerability #fomo #inyeon #past lives #self awareness #self reflection #self care #end of year #end of year review #reflection #reminder #words to live by #spilled ink #words to remember #words to think about

[juststudyyy]

"Two month review of using this flip phone"

For context, I’ve been using this japanese flip phone from kyocera. The specific model of this unit is the Kyocera 701KC. This phone was released in late 2017 and is therefore showing its age. As a device for digital minimalism or just for reducing social media time, I think this device fits perfectly for me. I said, “for me” because the usage depends very much on what an individual is willing to compromise. In my opinion the biggest drawback of using this device is it’s software, it’s running android 5 which is very old and most of the banking app that I use is not supported, more and more apps will also be not supported anymore in the near future, this device also don’t have support for google services, you have to sideload the apps you want to use, but if you can look past that, this may work for you. Another problem that I often run into is its wifi connection. When the device is closed or on stand-by for quite a while the wifi suddenly disconnects so when you unlock the phone it will take around 30 seconds to 1 minute to connect to the wifi. 

For its advantages, it really reduced my time on social media. It’s slow, but it taught me to be a little more patient and calmer. I had more time doing things that matter, such as reading or just being in the moment. Another benefit is that this phone is strong! It’s durable. If you’re clumsy like me, things will keep falling out of your hand, and sometimes things jump out of your pocket when moving around. This guy can take hits. One time, it fell off the stairs. I thought it would be shattered, but to my surprise, all it had was a small chip of paint removed. So, would I recommend buying this? Depending on the price and inconvenience you’re willing to pay. As I said earlier if you want to use this there will be some compromises, and even if you’re willing to pay the cost I recommend newer devices such as the Kyocera Digno 901KC or the Unihertz Jelly series, this has better software and is much more likely to be usable for a longer period of time.

📖 : Study with me

#digital minimalism #study #med student #dumb phone #flip phone #fomo #univeristy #studyblr

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

What would you call the opposite of FOMO? Not the fear of missing out, but the fear that as soon as you join something THEN AND ONLY THEN will it collapse. Like your presence will be the straw that breaks the camel's back, you are the harbinger of doom, you're not allowed to play this game or else the rest of the kids will get bored and take their ball and go home (metaphorically speaking). The fear of singlehandedly crashing the world economy by trying to participate in it. I know it's not rational, but it really feels like I'm always the last person to join a bandwagon before all the wheels fall off at the same time, oh well, too bad, it was fun while it lasted.

#fomo

[howdoidothiss-blog]

I’m on s3 of watching Merlin for the first time and when I tell y’all I am SO EXCITED to get to the knights of the round table 🤭🤭🤭 I’ve been getting FOMO every time I see them on this app

+Lancelot 🧎🏻‍♀️👹🫶 (slightly fearing for my life? But I need to see him again) +Gwaine is already SO iconic??? and I’ve only known him one episode

I’m giggling rolling around kicking my feet thinking about them

#bbc merlin #i love Lance I love him elot #merthur #knights of the round table #arthur pendragon #gwaine #lancelot #bbgs of the round table #fomo #Merlin season 3

[iluvjules]

You'll never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory...

-Wesley Wang

#life quote #life quotes #relatable quotes #life lessons #life #existence #thought #reality #sad thoughts #sadgirl #sad quotes #feelings #relateable #shower thoughts #quotes #spilled writing #writing #writeblr #fomo

[csuitebitches]

There’s something so satisfying about starting your morning exactly how you’ve envisioned it. Early wake up alarm, 1 hour workout, a 10 minute prayer, listening to a podcast whilst driving to work… every time I do my body and mind right, I feel better and perform better.

One thing that has helped me stay consistent that could help you too is to make a list of your ideal routine. What time would your ideal self wake up? What would they do? What would they prioritise? This is essentially written diarrhoea.

After making a list of that, I began circling the ones that were the most important. I then made a schedule for myself, with timings. I left enough time for me to have fun and be “lazy” which is very important.

#c suite #powerful woman #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #strong women #getting your life together #feminine energy #balance #routine #consistency #fomo

[furiousgoldfish]

I've managed to develop the opposite of 'the fear of missing out'. Fear of Being Included. If there's people expecting me to get out of the bed for something that's my worst nightmare. No more experiences please.

#joke #shitpost #fomo #fobi #chronic exhaustion #chronic pain

[howifeltabouthim]

But if she fled, she would never see him again, and she may never again meet anyone else like him.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

#never again #now or never #one of a kind #unique #inimitable #fomo #fleeing #turning point #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #anna biller #bluebeard's castle

[yooo-gehn]

ليه عملوا مصطلح مخصوص للناس اللي خايفة يفوتها قطر الأحداث المهمة (فومو) وماعملوش مصطلح للناس اللي مش عايزة تركب القطر أصلاً؟

#FOMO #KOSOMO #king of something originally missing ok

[aroaceconfessions]

Sometimes, I wish I was allo.

I don't think I ever want to be in a romantic relationship, mostly because I don't feel that way towards any sort of people. And I wouldn't want to try anything with anyone because I know that it would hurt them if I was just using them as an experiment.

But, as an aroace adult, I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense that I've failed because the milestones that fit another person's life aren't available to me.

I'm someone my friends turn to for advice, but I genuinely don't know how to help them with their feelings, because I don't feel them. I don't know what helps in the situations they find themselves in. And I want to be there and help them. But I'm useless.

And if I continue to be useless, they won't keep me around anymore.

I want someone to walk to the ends of the earth with me, without needing to pay the price of my body in return. I want companionship. I don't want to be alone.

But I have a dreaded feeling I'm going to be.

How do I make peace with this? I know you've probably gotten asks like this dozens of times.

Submitted May 28, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #internalized aphobia #internalized acephobia #internalized arophobia #fomo