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#lessons learned
azure-cherie · 1 month
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20 things I've learned as i turn 20
My birthday is in a few days though i like to keep it private I'd like to share some of my thoughts 😁 the things I've learned are mostly based off my experiences
Individuality: one can be a loner in life but that doesn't guarantee a thing about individuality, to learn it one has to be in uncomfortable places and do uncomfortable things only to realise oh that is my thing and i must pursue , though we keep acquiring things from here and there all our lives but it's our zest that makes it ours .
Don't be afraid to move alone, stay alone or do things alone , I'm still working on it and the most important part is people are so busy they don't even care what you are doing, only a pathetic person jokes about you being lonely and doing things on your own
You are watching self help but are you applying it ?? With so much information available one can often get lost in comparison and be confused about thing , to try things is a better way to decide whether we should listen to someone , most of the times people don't even know what they're saying always ask yourself before following someone's advice .
Only give someone something when you are genuinely having an excess in your life , give from what you have extra , or else you'll end up feeling empty and sad because you gave them from your part, for example : there's a friends birthday and you don't have excess to give them a gift just skip the party or give them something hand made like cards , gifts or bake cookies , if they really love you they will appreciate you and only such people are worth having around , same with your time , only make time for others when you have done everything for yourself.
Don't fall into the trap , boundaries are tangible, don't be like " oh I had such a good day my best friend is crying but my boundary is to not care i live my good life" shut up this girl right here was there for you when you needed someone we often lose our way then the people around us need to bring us to the right path , you need people around you remember. Please do this only if the other person does the same for you .
It's okay to not like anyone around you : Darwin said survival of the fittest and we mostly stay in competition with people , so it's okay to not like everyone don't ghost them because you find one thing annoying, they have good things you can look out for , focus on the good .
Give yourself and others the space : don't seem needy or desperate because you had a fight with someone or just a problem with yourself, perspectives come with time , you and they need it if it's meant to be things will be alright
It's okay to lose things , we get tired of things and people and situations and it's fine if it's worth you can fight for it but if you are staying only because of attachment it doesn't take long till it wears off , get ready for the new chapter of your life
It's okay to win , personally I realised I have been afraid of winning and that's why I don't. when you are young you can be programmed to feel like a loser but know that life keeps changing you can win if you believe it .
You don't need to fix everything about you : ahh please please don't give up on good things just because you thing you are yet to heal , no you're good go for it if you feel like it , moreover something's are just not worth it to fix or heal , simple changes can accomodate.
People who love you will accommodate for you and it goes both ways , you have to belive in the power of you and everyone around you and sometimes bend when you need to
What is not worth bending is your values , when you know something is right do what is right regardless , be the right person to yourself by doing what is right to you .
Don't worry about being a good or bad person , it doesn't matter in the long run , a narcissist thinks they're the best and an anxious person thinks they're the worst but we know what's the truth , sometimes in life you have to do bad things but that doesn't make you a bad person , you need to survive in this world things aren't cheap we suffer from capitalism and mind games , do what you need to get a good life for you and your closed ones , we'll talk about the bad deeds in hell and even god will see what you have done and why you have done it , intentions matter .
Keep a balance of experiences and consequences, don't lose out of an experience because you worried about the consequences too much and don't do something that you will regret because you didn't think about the consequences of your actions.
Never tell one person everything, don't vent to everyone , the more you vent the more possibility you have of your personal information getting leaked as a gossip, if you tell different people about different issues you can know when they betray you and dismiss the rumour and cut them off and know that some people are just better at advice in different sectors like you wouldn't ask a logical person who's invested in financial topics about your emotional turmoil it will only disappoint.
Keep your spiritual practices private , don't do something because everyone is , people like to mock , put bad energy or evil eye on perfectly fine things , it's only protection to keep your practices private or anonymous on the internet . Do some spiritual practice because you feel connected to it not because everyone is , don't follow the crowd look within yourself. This applies to deity work , magic or manifestation.
Learn about money and finances and investment, Acquire skills it's only right when you know enough about these things as they create the foundation of your life here, learn about it young so you don't suffer when older . learn everything that you can don't be afraid to be a first timer one day you'll be a pro at it and you'll thank yourself that you were a first timer , try everything you can .
Don't worry about defining yourself, you're constantly changing and that's the beauty of you , you can know who you are and you have to relearn who you are in every era of life .
Be happy for what your parents have done and forgive for what they didn't, this can be hard but don't let them be another obstacle for you to not reach your highest self it's best to forgive and move on , it's also their First time as a person learning about living.
Love yourself unconditionally, last but not the least the most important, forgive yourself, accept the ways you have changed , do things for yourself, practice all 5 love languages on yourself, give yourself the love .
I have learnt so much more and hope you do too , love you so much 🤍
Thanks for reading<33
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conscious-love · 1 year
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I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.
P.T. Berkey
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dumblr · 1 year
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Learn to live without the person you can’t live without.
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anstarwar · 9 months
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Bird watchers be like
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Gree still hasn’t learned not to wander off during downtime on mysterious planets while everyone else is sleeping because he read this sector has premium bird watching and he simply cannot miss that
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This was a request from a few months back from @/tiny_american_potato over on IG
[Image description in ALT]
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papaslittlesunshine · 2 months
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Lessons Learned
~ In the kitchen ~
Dew: (deepthroating a popsicle) “See?? It’s easy!”
Swiss: (walking in to see Phantom staring wide eyed at Dew, clearly impressed.)
Phantom: “WOW, Dew… can I do that??”
Dew: “I dunno Bug, it takes a lot of practice, y’know?”
(hands Phantom a popsicle)
Phantom: (runs out to the den to go practice)
Swiss: (groans as he palms his forehead) “Damn it, Dew - the kid’s gonna get brain freeze so bad… he doesn’t know that your mouth runs so hot the thing melted before it even hit your throat.”
Dew: (grins)
….
From the den: “OW!! My head….” (whimper)
From the kitchen: ((SMACK)) “OW, Swiss, what the hell??”
Swiss: “I told you so.”
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embeccy · 16 days
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"Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation... even so does inaction sap the vigour of the mind."
- Leonardo Da Vinci
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creatingnikki · 3 months
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What I've learned in 2023 (part I)
i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.
ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.
iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.
iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.
v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.
vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.
vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.
viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.
ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.
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westburial · 6 months
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i saved a snail today. that might sound stupid to you, but i saved a snail today.
it almost got burnt alive in a garden fire in my nans back yard (we were burning off old rose stems) and i grabbed it off a stem and put it in the bushes on the other side of the road. mom said to leave the snail there, i quote, "escargot" and while it was kind of funny, i just couldn't leave the little guy to burn. mom and nan both think I'm childish for getting upset over leaving it to die (I'm seventeen years old), but i don't think that's so bad. there was a time for most of us when we couldn't hurt a spider, or a beetle, or a crab, and we'd get upset over the thought of them being lonely or hurt, and at some point we were told to toughen up, grow up. and at some point we stopped caring about hurting those things, because they're small, and i think we're taught that small things don't matter, you shouldn't care about them, they have no value. small worries, small problems, small struggles, small events, and that sentiment carried out into small living things. it's not so bad to look out for small things sometimes, it's not bad to care about them. i hope Mr. snail is living out the rest of its days in peace and wonder and no fires.
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heartofmuse · 1 year
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And in the end, when all is said and done, after the dust settles, you realize that the purpose of some relationships was just so that you could learn what you do not need, want, or are willing to tolerate in your life.
e.v.e.
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alwaysbewoke · 26 days
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as a former herb (which was the name for simps back in my day) i will never again pay the bills for any woman who doesn't have my last name. i've paid bills, rents, travel accommodations, and more like an idiot. i've learned my lesson. it was a hard lesson but i learned it. never pay the bills for someone who isn't your wife. if she wants bills paid then she's got to get a husband (which means she has to be wifey material which is harder than just being freak in the sheets or girlfriend material). anything else, everything else is a scam and just because you have money doesn't mean you're supposed to be a mark. that's another lesson i had to learn. just because i could afford it doesn't mean i'm supposed to be paying for it. and the moment they leave because you won't pay their bills you know you just dodged a bullet.
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blackwolfstabs · 7 months
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“You’re my good girl.”
What if Sam was just like Tara before she met Richie? She said the same things but didn’t have anyone there to pull her out of the trap. What if the reason Sam crashed the frat party was because of a deeper reason rather than just being over-protective of her little sister? - - - - - - - - - - “If I could get rid of every damn memory, burn the book with the chapter of you and me, it wouldn’t be so hard in the neon dark, trying to fight what might’ve got the best of me…”
Sam got on Tara’s nerves constantly. She knew that. She always knew that her hounding and protecting and clinginess to her sister was considered overbearing and neurotic. And every time, Tara would shout at her, screaming for her to leave her alone and let her make her own decisions. After all, it was Tara’s life.
“If I wanna hook up with an asshole, that’s my decision! It’s my decision. It’s not about you! I mean, you’re– you’re out of my life for 5 years, and then you can’t leave me alone for 5 minutes.”
She hadn’t been there for 5 years of Tara’s life. She hadn’t been there to help her grow up and show her how to navigate through her adolescent years the right way.
Her persistence to keep her baby sister safe was much more centered than everyone thought. Especially on that night, when Tara almost got herself date-raped. 
So she wasn’t around for 5 years to show her how to live life the right way… but she knew how to do it the wrong way. And had she not been so stupid and naive at the time, her secret never would’ve got out, Tara never would’ve been stabbed, and fate wouldn’t have led them here…
-
Sam slipped in between the crowd of people like a cat, agile and skilled among the neon lights and rowdy partygoers. She retrieved an open bottle of vanilla & honey whiskey and tipped it into her cup, filling enough for two shots, before shooting it in one go. It went down smooth after the countless drinks that coursed through her from that night, but the burn was still as fresh as the first 5 rounds. She shook her head like a wet dog to get rid of the tang, then glanced up as a young man flanked her.
“You’ve been shooting whiskey all night like someone broke your heart,” he joked as he retrieved the bottle of cinnamon whiskey for himself.
She shook her head, “Nah, I’m good!” She had to raise her voice over the commotion of chatting and music. “I find it goes down better, when you got nothing to lose! You know?”
The newcomer nodded in agreement, then took his shot. “Can’t argue with that.” He set his shot glass down and went to fill it up again. “What’s your name?”
“Sam. Sam Carpenter. You?”
“I’m Richie,” he answered, shooting her a glance like a blue-eyed snake. “Richie Kirsch.” He saw her nod, then went on to ask. “Where are you from, Sam?”
There was no doubt that Sam was definitely tipsy, on her way to passing the lines of being intoxicated, but she had trained herself to answer that question no matter her cognitive state. She paused in her inspection of the different alcohols available to give him a short look, which he didn’t catch over his downing of Fireball. “Michigan.” 
“Michigan?” he repeated, sounding surprised. “How long have you been in California?”
“A while.”
Richie nodded with a hum and grabbed a beer, then glanced over to her with a second one. “You want one?” He offered it to her.
She gave him a smile and took it, before flipping her hair to leave the kitchen. She knew he would chase after her. The boys always did.
And he kept that streak alive.
“So,” he began, tailing her closely as she weaved through the crowd, “do you have a boyfriend?”
She loved it when they asked her this. “Of course,” she replied confidently, “one for every day of the week.” She made it to the back door and stopped. “Thing is…” She looked over her shoulder to meet his eyes with a smirk, “None of them have me.” And she disappeared into the dark of night.
Richie followed, “Can’t settle for just one?” 
“No, not yet!” He had his own charm that he unleashed, and she sensed it by the tone of his voice and the way he looked at her. It intrigued her more than any of the other guys. And that made her frisky. “But I might rush it.”
Her follower picked up his pace to walk by her side, not bothering to keep his touch subtle when he felt-up the back pocket of her jeans. He was winning her over fast, even though they hadn’t even known each other for 5 minutes. “Oh, yeah?” 
She was that girl, the kind that all the guys loved with just one look.
“What makes you think that?” he quizzed.
Sam kept her head high as she continued her rehearsed front, “Well, Richie… when you’re footloose and collar-free… you take nothing but the best.”
And 2 hours later had 2 strangers entangled in a mess of intimacy on the side of the house. 1:00 AM and the wolves had come out to partake in reckless, young acts of make-believe love that only took an alpha and an omega.
Sam’s fingers gripped Richie’s ginger hair, while he combed through her long blonde-highlighted locks to tug her head back and deepen their kiss. She gave a soft moan as he did so, feeling his hands leave her hair to glide down her back and slip into her back pockets. He gently squeezed, which made her jump with a small noise.
He broke away from her lips, but she dismissed it. 
“It’s fine,” she promised, then nodded. “I’m fine. I want to.”
Richie gave her a grin, and they reconnected. He tightened his grip on her hind end and pulled her pelvis into him, hearing her moan again as he did so. Then, he took his hands out of her pockets to move one further down and the other across her back to reach her side, further pressing her body against his.
She let out a giggle that was muffled, which led him to chuckle seductively as she moved her hands down his neck and to his shoulders, where she eventually let her wrists hang limp. She tilted her head enough to secure his lips again, before gently nipping his bottom one. 
He pulled himself away but kept her body close. “You already wanna go that far?” he teased, meeting her big, brown eyes that were bordered with a thick eyeliner and flattered by mascara. 
Samantha showed no sign of being shy or embarrassed, expressing more of an alpha approach, even though she knew the omega position was her strong suit. “You say that like you're surprised,” she answered, then slid her hand back up his neck. She jerked him towards her and went to purr in his ear, “Care to teach a stray dog new tricks?”
“Mm,” her counterpart hummed as he turned to purr into hers, “Only if I can give her a home.”
She laughed. “You think you can handle me?”
Richie smirked, “I know I can handle you.” Before she could say anything else, he bent to secure one arm around her waist and the other beneath her hind to lift her off the ground. The unexpected change of positions made her yelp in surprise, and her legs instinctively wrapped around him. This made him laugh at her sudden drop in confidence. “You better hold on tight, Sam the Stray.” He chuckled as he jumped her a little and felt her arms enclose around his neck, “You’re heavy.”
Sam tightened her grip as she felt his hand curl around her side to slip beneath the cropped hem of her shirt. Like everything else, she continued to use a smart tongue when she replied, “That’s why they always like me on bottom.” Her eyes flashed in the half-light of the moon, almost beckoning him to seduce her to that point tonight.
His own eyes lightened as he pressed her against the brick wall of the house. “And bad,” he added to his former claim. He grinned as she did, finally seeing a bit of flush in her cheeks as she glanced down. “You’re a bad girl, aren’t you?” He ducked his head a little to make sure she couldn’t avoid his eyes.
She glanced back up and sighed, the slight raise of her eyebrow and cool smirk speaking for her.
The other leaned in and captured her lips in another kiss. She followed, but when he pulled away, he didn’t give much space between them. “But you can be a good girl, right?” he whispered. “‘Cause you’re too pretty to be throwing yourself away on drugs and alcohol.” He moved to kiss her cheek. “You’re much more than that, Sam.”
These words made Sam pause. No one had ever told her that before. No one had given her a sense of hope. No one had believed in her. Not since she left her life behind 5 years ago… 
She’d been nothing, just a reckless stray on the run. She was free to be herself, and she was free to be by herself. That’s what she’d lived by for the last 5 years. But those words made her feel different…
He made her feel different…
Maybe she could be good? Maybe she could be more than what she was? Maybe it just took someone special to help her see that? Maybe it was him?
So, she nodded.
Richie then pulled away from kissing her neck and smiled at her. It was a sweet kind of smile that made her take on a more mellow and submissive position in their roles.
“You’re a good girl, Sam.” 
This made her heart want to crack. She wasn’t good. She was the daughter of a serial killer. She was a mistake to her mother. She was a lie to her step-father. She was careless to her baby sister. She wasn’t good. She was born bad. But this man that she met tonight was telling her that she was good… 
Could she start over?
Richie pulled his arm out from around her back and let the brick wall support her there, while he used his now-free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and brush the side of her face. 
She blinked up shyly, then was met with another short kiss. A genuine kiss. And then she was staring into deep blue eyes with her forehead and his own touching to hold the moment.
“You’re my good girl.”
And Sam smiled.
-
Sam cursed that night. Meeting Richie taught her two things—one: everything is not always what it seems, and two: never let anyone see that they get to you. 
She knew exactly how stray dogs worked, no matter how far she had come since being one. She was a guard dog now, but she never forgot what it felt like to be footloose and collar-free. To be chased. To be the one that got away.
She was a tramp, but they loved her.
She never loved herself though.
Since her traumatic experiences, Tara had cut her leash and renounced her collar. She had indulged in the life of a stray, but she didn’t know the price that would have to be paid if coaxed into the wrong hands. 
And that’s what Sam was terrified of. Tara was so much like her, it wasn’t even funny. She just didn’t want her baby sister to learn the hard way… the way she had to learn.  “I’m just trying to look out for you.”
Good doggie, no bone.
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— inspired by “Downtown” by Chase Matthew
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mycptsdstory · 8 months
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After this year, I've learned a lesson.
When someone ghosts me, I know where the door is.
When someone ghosts you, it means they aren't mature enough to have an open, honest, raw and uncomfortable conversation with you.
I've stopped blaming myself when someone ghosts me. I blame them.
Like I said in a few posts that I did; when someone can't have that open, honest, raw, uncomfortable conversation with me... I'm leaving, for good.
I know you made your bed and I made mine. By me leaving and I'm never coming back.
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dumblr · 1 year
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If you are a giver please learn your limits because the takers don't have any.
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eisly · 2 years
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Commission of Mars, one of @elliejaybird’s syrsin characters. Looking a little moody…
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whodykejones · 9 months
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I wish i would’ve put me first all those years.
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